Zombies - They Be Crazy

Well, its true. They are. icon by @tajmah

[sapphictempest]

Nobody is disregarding canon more than Batfam fans lmao

[bowditch]

i KNOW the canon and i am CHOOSING to ignore it because i have deemed it STUPID

but ALSO

you can pry this little detail or panel i liked from my cold, dead hands.

[mellaithwen]

Truly the joy of any comic book fandom is that “canon” doesn’t exist because what was canon in the 40s got switched up in the 50s that then got retconned in the 70s before getting blown up in the 80s then ignored in the 90s etc etc etc(!)

the rule is there are no rules

[zombiesbecrazy]

Everything is canon if your multiverse is big enough

[lambily-deactivated20200702]

[moonwatcher13]

As someone who ran track and cross country for 4 years in high school, this always fucking mystified me the most out of all the insane shit PE had us do.

Track and field club taught all new runners how to properly warm up, stretch, pace, etc. Its a process, and doing it properly takes 15-20 minutes to make sure your body is ready so you dont hurt yourself.

PE didnt do jack shit, they just said "go run a mile" so 70% of the fucking kids sprinted flat out the first lap and basically walked the other 3. Multiple people did it in boots or tennis shoes. I'm amazed more of them didnt pull a muscle or worse in the process.

I dont know what the purpose of PE was, but it sure as shit wasnt proper exercise. And I think a lot of people suffered for that. If they spent the time teaching us about the importance of physical health, proper nutrition, how to safely stretch/exercise, etc, we would all be better off now.

[renthony]

Let's be real, PE exists to shame and torture the fat kids, and for pretty much no other reason.

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

*Insert that thing with all the people who dread gym*

[homemade-potato]

this one?

[sea-glass-and-fire]

the purpose of PE, as it currently exists in the American school system, is to prepare kids to join the military. that's not some sort of moral-panic hyperbole. that's...pretty explicitly the purpose.

most of the prominently nightmarish features of PE, such as running the mile or doing sit-ups, originate with the Presidential Fitness Test. This test, which president Eisenhower implemented in schools in 1956, was created after a different fitness test (the Kraus-Weber test) revealed that Americans were less fit than Europeans -- specifically the Swiss.

The difference between the Kraus-Weber test and the Presidential Fitness test is that the Presidential Fitness test was specifically designed to test military fitness. While the Kraus-Weber test measured total fitness by testing things like core strength and flexibility, the Presidential Fitness test doesn't really make much sense in the context of ordinary fitness -- only in the context of military fitness. Do you remember being tested on how far you could throw a softball? That test mimicked throwing grenades. And it's pretty easy to see why Eisenhower went this direction. In 1956, the Cold War was in full swing and WWII was barely in the rear-view mirror. There was a real possibility that we would be at war with parts of super-fit Europe in the near future. Eisenhower wanted the nation's children ready to fight in that war.

The main issue with the Presidential Fitness test is that, as pointed out above, it really doesn't teach kids how to stay fit or incorporate physical activity in their day-to-day lives. A soldier at war might need to run a mile with no warm-up, or perform a pull-up, but for the average middle-schooler? The tests were just kind of...pointless exercises in misery. You're only really good at the Presidential Fitness Test if you've been practicing the specific exercises tested. And what 12 year old child is doing pull-ups for fun and pleasure? So instead of inspiring America's children to train themselves into a super-fit army, it just humiliated kids who didn't perform well.

There's been a recent push for PE classes to focus more on life-long fitness (things like actually teaching kids to warm up, exposing them to different types of physical activity, etc). Unfortunately, the Presidential Fitness test has already done its damage. It continued to be used in schools until 2013. That's 60 years of teaching kids to associate physical activity with shame and dread. The idea of military PE classes is pretty much baked into our cultural memory, giving us all a background dread of physical activity. and guess what, eisinhower?? that's just going to make people less likely to be physically active!! Maybe if we're trying to emulate the fitness of the SWISS, we shouldn't have gone with MILITARY TRAINING FOR CHILDREN!!

anyways. take some comfort in the fact that nobody will ever judge you for your mile time again. and if they try, ask to see them run a mile. directly away from you.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[anarchistmemedistro]

fucked up onion my belothed

[crowcalled]

Linking the Maintenance Phase podcast about the Presidential Fitness Test now that the US president has decided to bring this thing back to haze a new generation of grade schoolers. I WAS athletic as a kid and I still hated this stuff! Nothing like having 30 other eight-year-olds stare at you as you fail to do a single pushup because you were never taught how to do one correctly.

[zombiesbecrazy]

I failed my grade 9 swimming unit in gym class because I was away for 3 of the 4 days at the provincial swimming championships.

This will never not make me laugh because it was so stupid.

[whore4batfam]

8 year old Dick’s third trip to Bruce’s office and being so helpful that he pressed ALL the elevator buttons so that they could shout good morning to each floor

[whore4batfam]

*ding*

“Dick, this is the eighty-second floor, could we please–”

“Good morale is a preeminent factor in all workplace environments. I saw it on Discovery Science, CSPAN, and also Bill Nye. HELLO EIGHTY-SECOND FLOOR!”

[deathbydibs]

25-year-old Dick doing the same exact thing. The people on the floors now yell back.

[unseelie-robynx]

Ok, but consider- Dick teaching this to Damian. Using all the argument he’s built up for Bruce over the years and, “Yes Damian this is important to workplace moral”. And Damian has no choice but to believe Dick that, This is just how things are done because everyone yells back. Jump to Bruce being worried about taking Damian to the office with him for the first time and Damian is just like, “tch, Do not worry Father I have been trained on proper workplace procedure.” Which only had Bruce more worried until Damian proceeds to hit every single elevator button and, when the doors open, in his most proper voice, “Salutations Second Floor.” There is of course a chorus of “Good Morning"s and “Hello Damian"s Bruce is so completely frozen in shock that doesn’t say anything as the process repeats on every single floor. and he can only nod and say “Good Job” when Damian looks to him for approval once they’re done.

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Ever read so much fanfiction about a character or pairing that you literally forget what happened to them in canon? 

[themindisacity]

Sometimes that’s the goal.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Jason: So.

Jason: How many murders did you refrain from committing today?

Damian: Thirty two.

Jason: Good for you.

Jason: Here, have a cookie.

[drchai]

Damian, expectantly: I also refrained from fourteen severe maimings.

Jason: *hands him a second cookie*

Bruce:

Jason: positive reinforcement

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Okay I so very much want criminals thinking Red Hood is not killing then because Batman offered him cookies. And what if they think Red Hood started working with the bats because of cookies in the first place?

I now want this

as some criminal trying to explain how red hood ended up working with the bats

And then I want my beloved thug named Jeff to, as Dan is putting together the PowerPoint, go recruiting and find a baker to bring into the fold because they need all the enticements they can get their hands on if they’re going to get their boss back

Or just one of Red Hood’s goons to straight up go to culinary school or whatever because apparently boss likes cookies enough to work with Batman so surely if they can do better…

[river9noble]

Bruce appeases Murder Child for the first time

Murder Child devours appeasing offerings on the streets of Gotham

Batman gives Murder Child a GINGERSNAP COOKIE???

Criminal reaction - the Murder Child has rejected the appeasing offering!

[drchai]

Our main thug Jeff luring the Red Hood into their old headquarters just for Hood to walk into the main meeting area that had a table absolutely loaded with different baked goods.

Jeff: listen boss—I can still call you boss right?— anyways boss, so a bunch of us got together and put our man Bill—(say hi to Hood Bill!)—through patisserie school. It’s always been a dream of his. But anyways, this way you don’t have to go to the bat for cookies. Bill here learned to make 34 different types! Along with a boatload of other stuff. That way you can come back. Batman has nothing to hold over you now.

Jason, touched (he’s not crying you’re crying): yeah man

Later:

Jason: Sorry B, they made too good of an argument.

As Jason turns and walks out you can see Damian clinging to the back of his jacket like a baby koala (he heard about the baked offerings).

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Thug named Jeff my beloved

Yes this is perfect

[snaileer]

I was smiling till the end, and the image of gremlin Damian absolutely latched on and clutching to the back of Jason’s jacket just fricking SENT ME!😂

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

@fleur-des-lore I love these tags haha

[beej-the-icebox]

Dick, holding one hand out towards Bats while holding a criminal in an armbar: APPEASE ME BAT AND YOUR REHABILITATION WILL BE POSSIBLE

Tim, facepalming behind Batman: it didn’t have to be that dramatic. Also that’s a nonlethal hold idiot.

Bruce, figuring the cookies in his belt are gonna get stale, handing them over despite knowing Dick isn’t going to kill: very well, Chum.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

You know this sort of thing is definitely what would make people go from “I can’t believe Batman has sidekicks those poor kids” to “I can’t believe Batman is single-handedly keeping these feral children on the side of the heroes”

[robbed-ghost]

Oh the visuals are strong with this one [*proceeds to churn out art of it immediately*]

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I love this so much

[zombiesbecrazy]

This got so deep and I'm over here still trying to figure out how Jason could eat a cookie with his helmet on.

[bowditch]

one reason i think rpatz batman would be a great batman to have a robin is that i cannot imagine this sensitive emo "actually people need hope" batman hitting a child 🥰

[zombiesbecrazy]

He would give the best, and yet, most awkward hugs to small circus boy.

[zombiesbecrazy]

I was tagged by both @fuyunoakegata and @helplesslynerdy

Rules: Tag people you would like to know/catch up with.

Last song: Bodybag by Hit The Lights, because I'm forever an emo kid at heart and it was on my Pure Pop Punk mix 🙈

Last movie: Fantastic Beasts - Secrets of Dumbledore (and donated more money to a local 2SLGBTIA+ organization than I paid on the movie tickets first, because I wanted to see wizards, but fuck JKR)

Currently reading: Mistborn, because I'm on a fantasy kick and attempting get through all* the Brandon Sanderson books before the Secret Project books come out next year, because I'm a crazy nerd.

Everyone is tagged!

all* = most :)

[broosepayne]

I LOVE Justice league panels where it’s like Supes, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and a bunch of other League members who can fly/reasonably propel themselves to a great height and they’re all hovering in the air ready to kick ass and… Batman is there too? Kind of hovering, usually with one fist pulled back and doing the Angery Face

And it’s like?? Why is he up there? Did Clark lift him up? Do they just kind of launch Batman at the enemy? Is he okay with this? Can you imagine being a villain and here comes this 6’2” 210lb wall of muscle and rage being thrown at you by Superman?

[jesse-is-spiralling]

you THROW batman? you throw batman like the football? oh! jail for superman. jail for One Thousand Years

[akiquqdoesart]

[zombiesbecrazy]

Clark reads X-Men comics, wanted to try the Fastball Special, and Bruce was game For Science

[see-y0u-space-c0wb0y]

[allineedisonedream]

I love the idea and thank you!

took a little while bc I wanted to add some more ducks ;)

[galahadwilder]

If Batman and Spider-Man switched rogues galleries none of their villains would last more than ten minutes against the new enemy

[galahadwilder]

Batman takes down all of Spider-Man’s villains with ruthless efficiency and preparation

Batman’s villains are all like “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY DAMMIT” and Spider-Man is like “No 😜”

[azuzulira]

The Joker would have an intense hatred for Spider-Man because Spider-Man is actually funny

[galahadwilder]

That was the exact thought process behind this post

[zombiesbecrazy]

Spider-Man would annoy the Riddler so much. He'd just jump to the end of the puzzle and save everyone, ignoring the rest of the death trap.

Spider-Man - and I snip the green wire and poof! Citizens saved!

Riddler - ~but you didn't show your work~ 😡

[tajmah]

Commissions are open and ready to go!

The commissions are open until stated otherwise. Feel free to DM me with any questions. 

Thank you @batadine for making my commission sheet!

[zombiesbecrazy]

Hi friend! I'm Jess, a mod for Batfam Big Bang! I just wanted to let you or your followers know that we've opened sign-ups, and they'll be closing on January 29th, if you're interested in participating. You can find us at @batfam-big-bang, where you can see our schedule, our faq, and our askbox if you want more information. Thank you, and have a lovely rest of your day!

Boosting!

[you-are-another-me]

[fandomsandfeminism]

So, given that the last Harry Potter book came out 14 years ago, it is...sometimes difficult to understand why people still insist on actively engaging with it despite saying that they condemn JKR. Even though boosting the properties she still profits on is actively enabling her to commit harm.

And look, I get it. I have a HP tattoo (a golden snitch.) These books were important to me. They always will be- they were formative. They gave me a community.

And I think that's why people are out here insisting on pirating the movies and writing fan fiction and buying etsy merch instead of just walking away.

It's not just that you need to find a new book- you need to find a new fandom.

Allow me to offer some suggestions!

1. Riordan-verse. Not only did the Percy Jackson books grow more diverse as the series went on- they are STILL coming out! Plus a new Netflix show AND a Kane Chronicles movie are on the works. The fandom is very active and fun. Dont pick your house- pick your godly parent!

2. Murderbot- the Murderbot Diaries are very fun, very quick scifi novellas with lots of queer rep and strong anti-capitalist themes. The fandom is strong and growing, with lots of fan art to go around!

3. Discworld- Sir Terry Prachett passed several years ago, but with 41 discworld books, other books besides, movie and TV adaptions, video games, and even puzzles, there is content for decades. The fandom is still very active and always willing to give you a reading order recommendation.

4. Pokemon. You want a huge fandom with lots of nostalgia, endless content, fan art, etc that is still very active and fun? Try pokemon. Try Pokemon Adventures manga specifically if you want the coolest part of the fandom.

5. The Broken Earth by NK Jemisin. First of all, top tier fantasy. Some of the most inventive and cool world building I've read in years. The fandom is small, but a movie adaptation is in the works, so the fandom is about to explode. (This series is more adult and darker than the other stuff on this list. Very good, but a darker vibe. Check that before you commit to it)

Let Harry Potter be a treasured part of your childhood- not an active part of your future. Especially when your engagement with it, even just in fan spaces, boosts and promotes transphobia. It's ok to let it go. Find a new fandom, find a new community.

[zombiesbecrazy]

2021 Book Asks

It's the end of the year, so lets talk about books. I made a New Year's Resolution to read more books, and unlike other resolutions, I kept this one and I'm on target to hit 100 by the end of the year (7 to go!)

I couldn't find a year end book tag that I liked, so I made one myself.

Send me an ask, and I'll let you know about the books I read this year:

1. Favourite book

2. Least favourite book

3. Book with the best cover

4. Book that you loved but you can’t quite figure out why

5. Book that you think was overrated

6. Book that you think was underrated

7. Book that made you feel feelings

8. Book that made you mad

9. Book that you understand was good, but it just wasn’t for you

10. Best world building

11. Best book that had a disappointing follow up

12. Best series

13. Series that improved as it went on

14. Series that you started but don’t think you’ll finish

15. Book that surprised you by how much you liked it

16. Book that surprised you by how much you didn’t like it

17. Book that surprised you with a twist

18. Best book that would be great to be adapted

19. Best book that has no fandom

20. Book that you would recommend for ____ (fill in blank)

[zombiesbecrazy]

One of my favourite things on tumblr is watching people fall in love with new fandoms that I have no idea about. I don't know what's happening but their excitement is contagious even if I'm not invested. I'm excited that you are excited and I hope you love it forever! 💙💚💛💜