Me? Funny? Interesting? Focused? Intelligent? Nope

I’m so sorry if you’re here for something Previously @ volchitsa-fae Background pic credit @klinger Profile pic credit @dearasteria

[cannibalchicken]

[julie-su]

[dyingroses]

M*A*S*H + text posts and stuff

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[ao3cassandraic]

I'm uh.

Just going to point out that this happened, and then go into hiding (with, I hope, somewhat improved opsec) before somebody puts a horse head in my bed.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Huh.

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[gallusrostromegalus]

Thoughts, in approximate order:

You know, given how C. lupus, C. lupus familiaris, and C. latrans can all create perfectly viable hybrids, and that the proto-dogs that domestic dogs descended from much more resembled coyotes than wolves, it's not really a surprise that some yotes are experimenting with domestication.

Goddamn that lady must be fucking shredded to be able to chase down a coyote through a swamp.

"Don't let wild animals into your house, you are not going to make Dogs 2.0, you're going to get injured and the animal killed." is probably obvious enough advice that I don't need to put it in the tags as a reminder.

...I know more than four people on this site that have poisoned themselves trying out 'foraging guides' they found online, two people IRL who tried to keep raccoons at pets, and have a family member who got hospitalized for Cat Scratch Fever after grabbing a feral cat bare-handed. This is apparently, not obvious enough.

Do Not Attempt To Domesticate Coyotes

[teaboot]

BREAKING NEWS: Man So Insufferable He Has Been Paid To Leave Every Project He Has Ever Joined Becomes Richest Person In Existence. "Le Epic Win", Says Man

[teaboot]

Tags by @cornbreadcommunard are killing me

[applepi3luvr]

Average episode of MASH seasons 1-3.

[leonardcohenofficial]

today on insane things the MASH writers got past the censors but still couldn’t show men’s underwear on screen:

[leonardcohenofficial]

this is specifically about the well-documented fact that they were not allowed to show a jockstrap in the season five episode “dear sigmund” so yes my language could have been more specific to denote that one episode rather than speaking generally but my point still stands lmao

[readingbythequire]

for the @morgwenmicrofic prompt 'cage' | lyrics from "hard" by hayley williams

will I make a Merlin web weave out of every song on this album? possibly.

other edits in this series: brotherly hate | blood bros

[jasontoddscrowbars]

Jason returned to his apartment. He went to open it but found there was a new lock on the door. Pissed, he knocked loudly on it to see who the fuck had the balls to change his locks and try and squat on him.

The door clicked open.

Tim was standing there looking like a two year old trying on their dad’s clothes in Jason’s sweats and sweater.

Tim: yo.

Jason:

Jason: you think this is funny.

Tim: of course not.

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: get the fuck out of my apartment!

Tim: it’s mine.

Jason: I’m not doing this today Timothy!

Tim: I’m Jason.

Jason:

Jason took a deep calm breath. He understood this now. He unfortunately understood it all too well.

Jason: is this because Bruce called you my name again and you’re trying to prove some point?

Tim:

Tim: not at all Richard.

He slammed the door shut.

Jason:

Jason: dammit. I can’t even be mad at him.

Bonus

Jason, sighing, turned to leave. He jumped as he found Robin standing there drenched in rain carrying a serious pout.

Jason:

Jason: Tim?

Damian, spitting: Dick.

[evilnicegirl]

maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?

[nypaingers]

So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.

[evilnicegirl]

[trash-panda-gorl]

Can’t just leave this in the tags, @the-starboy-symbiont

[ludicrouscheeseburger]

All of the above, plus:

For years after 9/11 we were constantly told “NEVER FORGET” and the idea was basically “keep feeling sad and afraid and especially ANGRY forever; don’t let time dull your emotional response like it’s naturally supposed to; continue to justify the injustices by feeling this way all the time.” And the 3000 deaths were constantly pointed to as this huge deal that justified any lengths to go to.

And then Covid hit. And there were several points during the height of the pandemic (because fun fact, according to the actual definitions of a pandemic, *it’s not technically over yet!* ) where we were having a 9/11’s worth of deaths every week or so. And suddenly 3000 deaths were not a big deal at all. Instead of being enough reason to go to war far away and strip us at home of many rights too, they weren’t even enough justification to make people wear a damn piece of fabric over their face.

3000 people died once and now the government can legally wiretap anyone without a warrant, and hold people at Gitmo under suspicion of terrorism (no need for due process)… 3000 people dying every week but we should all still be going out to brunch and concerts and who cares about the disabled and immunocompromised?

Something in me broke. Make all the 9/11 jokes you want.

[userfish]

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

[userfish]

ABSOLUTELY COMICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[horbse]

H

[auberylis]

O

[horsefigureoftheday]

R

[fabledgalaxies]

S

[the-arcade-doctor]

E

[circus-mcgurkus]

!

[horsefigureoftheday]

[free-my-girl-tourney]

Fandom Misogyny Victim Tournament

Round One, Bracket 1

Talia Al-Ghul (DC Comics) vs. Eurus Holmes (BBC Sherlock)

Talia Al-Ghul

Eurus Holmes

Remaining time: 4 days 22 hours

Propaganda below the cut:

Eurus Holmes:

when Moriarty kills and tortures people for fun, he’s the fan favorite. but when Eurus does it the season is “the worst season of the show” and “everyone hates her weird saw traps”

Talia Al-Ghul:

Consistently sidelined, drawn in a predatory way, and dismissed by the fans for being a rapist bc of one racist writing arc

Talia is the ultra competent heir apparent to a globalist death cult!!!! She’s endlessly fascinating!! Let her live!!

[isabelopaque]

Dont unfollow me I can post about something you care even less about wait

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[unexpectedphilosophy]

How do I explain to you people that interracial relationships are okay

Not every white person dating a POC is fetishizing. White people can be respectful and responsible when it comes to culture and relationships and not everyone has bad intentions.

Asian people can date Black people without you saying shit like “your kids will be so pretty” they’re not dating for pretty kids. They’re dating bc they like each other.

Someone can dress their partner in clothing from their culture if they want. Someone can take their partner to cultural events if they want.

People in relationships can share cultures, experiences and love without it being toxic or skin deep.

Their partner isn’t culturally appropriating. Their partner is being shown the ultimate form of love, bc their partner trusts them and loves them enough to share their history and heritage.

Yeah, dating someone from your culture is nice bc you automatically have similar experiences. But you’re not limited to dating people with the same experiences. Loving someone is sharing and growing and being together.

Interracial relationships aren’t always toxic, and some of y’all need to stop projecting onto other people.

[spoonoftar]

👆 THIS 👆 👏👏👏

[the-real-gingakid]

Calling ineterracial relationships toxic or fetishizing just seem like anti race mixing or racism with extra steps

[skyhon]

This reminded me of this