Asilla: Can you look past my scars to see what I truly am?
Pairing: Drusilla Blackthorn/Ash Morgenstern
Tags: betrayal, romance, love, happy ending, sweet
Theme Song:Nightcore I think I'm in love
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The day Ash laid eyes on Drusilla Blackthorn, he knew he had found someone to love and be friends with. Most people thought he was crazy with the "love at first sight", as mundanes liked to call it, and he knew it was an odd feeling but he knew she was the one. She wasn't scared like most people were with him. Being the son of Jonathan Morgenstern and the Queen of Seelie didn't help him in that department. All the people he met either wanted to kill him or feared him. Even his own family. His aunt hated him and she had tried quite a few times to throw him in jail or....even worse, give him over to the clave. And....that hurt, to know someone hated him so much that they'd let him be tortured by people who hated Downworlders and their half-breeds.
It burned a part in him that he didn't know if he could ever heal. He wanted with all his heart to fix the mistakes of his parents. To step out of their shadows and be his own person. To make his own destiny. To be allowed the right that everyone else was allowed but he wasn't. He had a mission from birth to fix what his family had done and he promised that he would. But doing it and saying it was so different that it was hard to actually do what he wanted. To clear the Morgenstern name for his children and their children and destroy the cycle that he was trapped in. Break the curse over the Morgenstern name. Yet, it was so much harder than one believed. Since everyone he met hated him with such a vile passion, of course, it would be hard. Just the mention of his family's name brought fear so deep it would take years to fix. But he would fix it, even if he had to die to fight for that name. He wouldn't back out and change his mind like so many of his family members. To be ashamed of his birthright would be like when he finally got his fey marks. It would be like cutting them out like a disease. He wouldn't. He would bare them proudly even if the cold peace still raged on. Once in a while, he would meet a person who was not scared but open and willing to accept change like he had when he met the Blackthorns. He would fight and he would keep going to make his family proud. To make the Blackthorns proud as they were so very kind to him. He pushed on to make them proud, to fix his father's name, to be something more. Something worthy of the title he was born into. Something....different.
He hated it, being born a half breed. Never being able to fit in with either of his kind. The fey feared him for being the son of the queen and the Shadowhunters hated him for being the son of their worst enemy. The evilest man they'd ever met. He wasn't even eighteen when he died. No, Ash didn't want that life. He just wanted his father back. He wanted his parents to be normal and have a regular life. That's not something he'd get, being born how he was. He was just not meant for this world. He was too powerful; too mixed; too different. It hurt him to not be able to fit in with either of his species. To be on the outside, looking in. For a fey Shadowhunter, there was only a few ever born. Hellen and Mark being the only other two alive and they came nowhere near close to his power. Yet, if he could he would love to trade places with either of them. But he could not because this was his birthright and he, alone, would fight it. Sometimes it was hard to have his family look at him with such hatred and fear and disgust. because He was simply born, he didn't ask for it. Honestly, he didn't even want it. He just wanted to be him. He just wanted to live quietly and simply, without the fuss of being who he was. Yet what he wanted and what we got were so different it was almost crazy. But there was never any use to fussing about it. He just had to get it done and over with.
When he had finally convinced his mother to let him come into the real world and leave fey, he first went to the New York Institute. He went to meet his aunts and uncles and hopefully his grandparents. Well, his step-grandfather and his grandmother as well. All he was met with was anger, fear, hatred, and surprise. Not at all what he wanted. Not what he deserved. Well, he guessed that's what he deserved after all. It was his fault, right? He had come too soon. He had not yet proven himself worthy of his name. All his aunt Clary did was try to throw him in jail. He didn't understand why he loved her. He just wanted to be a part of her family. He didn't want her to hate him. He just wanted her love but all she did was throw him out, saying "if you ever come back I'll call the cohort on you and then you'll be sorry..." which was cruel; mean. She knew that the cohort wanted only one thing and that was to kill all the downworlders. To destroy them, put them in camps, treat them like animals. What would they do to a half-breed, the son of Jonathan Morgenstern? The son of the Seelie queen and the only living heir to the throne. The only King of Fey. No, it wouldn't be good. Of course not, but that's what his aunt promised. She hated him that much, but why?
He understood he was Jonathan's only child but...she was given another chance, so why wasn't he? Was it because he looked too much like the Morgensterns from the past? Or was it because not a single Morgenstern man for three generations had been good? That wasn't his fault, he wished it had been different but it couldn't have been. The past isn't supposed to change, it's supposed to be looked back on. To show what we've come from and accomplished. To test our ways and come back stronger with every glance we take of our parents' mistakes. Hopefully, our world would be a better place but hardly, since it has been proven time and time again that we will follow our parents and make the same mistakes over and over again. Ash didn't want the throne, honestly. He had predecessors everything he wanted. He was born with a crown, a throne, and no one to stop him from having it. Yet.....he didn't want it. He never did and never will.
It still hurt knowing people hated him that much for his parents' misdeeds but that was okay. When he proved he was worthy to his family and fixed the mistakes of his parents and grandparents before him they would accept him back, right? Maybe. He hoped so but not everything worked out that way.
The next place he went to was the Los Angeles Institute to find that girl he saw in fey when he had been trapped by his uncle in the Unseelie realm. She was so nice that his heart did an odd thing that he had heard humans refer to as "butterflies". He was pretty sure that he'd never eaten any but then again, most things humans say are confusing to him. I guess that's only natural, him being of a different world and all. Being raised different, seelies and humans were nothing alike. Feys weren't able to lie. It stuck to their tongues like lead and weighed them down until a single word could not exit their mouths. They were stuck, not moving, so they changed. They adapted to fit into a world filled with lies. No, they aren't able to lie but they can bend the truth so that you'll never be able to know what they really mean from what they choose to say.
When going to the LA Institute he wasn't that scared. He was excited to meet the girl of his dreams, quite literally. The amazing girl that made everyone else fall so short of her beauty. When he walked up to the door he wanted to knock. It was to make a good impression since just walking into someone's home, no matter if it was open to any Shadowhunters or not, was quite rude in his book. He knocked and waited. He heard a voice on the other side grumble something about coming to the door and he looked at it, worried. Was he annoying the person behind it? That was no good at all. It simply wouldn't do.
All of a sudden the door was yanked open to show Julian Blackthorn, mid-hello when he looked shocked and tilted his head.
"Who the hell are you?" He asked, confused. Ash blinked, opening and closing his mouth a bit. He shook his head. No, no, this wouldn't do. He was a king, or soon to be anyway, he needed to act like one. So he drew himself up and spoke with a calm, even voice.
"My name's Ashen Morgenstern. I'm-" the door was shut in his face. He huffed. So much for good impressions, he thought bitterly, knocking again. Only for the door to be opened by someone else. Someone much, much more welcoming...
The girl. The really pretty girl from a fairy that he was looking for. His heart stopped. He felt like everything was in slow motion.
"Hi," he blushed, smiling at her. She looked at him kind of odd.
"Who are you?" She said. Ash smiled brightly.
"I'm Ashen Morgenstern-" yet again the door was shutting. He panicked and a rush of words fled his mouth in a race against the closing door.
"Wait, wait, no, please." She stopped and looked at him.
"What? Go away. Go start a war, fairy boy." Ash huffed.
"Not all Morgenstern's want that, princess. I just want peace, to enjoy life. Shocking, I know." He said, rolling his eyes. Drusilla looked at him.
"Mmm, maybe. I'm Drusilla blackthorn," she said, reaching out to shake his hand. He turned it and kissed the top of her hand, smirking at her. Ash was many things, but a flirt? Maybe. Dare he says, fey? Oh yes, that he most certainly was.
She rolled her eyes, yanking her hand back and walking through the door, leaving it open for him to follow. He grinned, following through the door. He closed it and walked behind her. She walked through the Institute that honestly looked more like a house than anything else. They got to her room and she walked in. Like before, she left the door open, allowing him inside. He shut it and stood there, smiling at her. She sat on the bed and looked at him.
"Now, who are you really?" She asked. His smile fell. She didn't believe him. Didn't that silly girl know that fairies couldn't lie? But then again, he was a half breed so he probably could. Yet just the thought of lying set an odd feeling in his stomach. No, he hopefully would never have to lie and honestly, he refused to.
He pulled out his father's ring from a chain around his neck and showed her his green shirt slightly tore and old making it easy for him to pull it out and off handing it to her he didn't dare sit on her bed since he was beyond dirty so he stood right above her watching closely this was the only thing he had left of his father and he wouldn't let anyone break it she nodded handing it back to him she looked him up and down "ok so your a prince only living heir to the throne and your also a Morgenstern I actually can see that I mean your hair is just like Sebastian's and- he cut her off with a smile"Jonathan" he corrected she looked at him weird "what?" She asked ash nodded "his name was Jonathan" he said tilting his head she rolls her eyes "ok you have Jonathans hair and clarys eyes" he smiled at her "I am aware but I also have my father's eyes since mother said when he died they were a beautiful green color just like mine" Dru nodded he looked sad and for some reason that made her sad and she didn't understand it so she just ignored it "ok fairy boy your dirty and you have crappy clothes it's time to fix it so off you go to take a bath and I'll find you some clothes" Dru pushed him into the bathroom ash looked at it confused what was this room for? What were these buttons it was so shiny and odd metal was everywhere honestly metal was all through the house the smell making him queasy and light headed? on the little shelf with the two way glass were a bunch of pink and black things and they all looked different so like the curiously little fairy he was He started playing with things and looked up at the glass that showed himself he'll have to ask Drusilla what it was called he needed to cut his hair he looked around for something he didn't see a knife or anything so he just drug his fingers through it and turned to the little boat looking thing he was so lost he peaked out and Dru was nowhere to be seen he sighed to himself and tried a red button on the boat and the water came out he grinned he felt it and he liked the heat so he stripped and took a bath.
When he was done he didn't know what to do but he didn't think putting his clothes back on would do being clean much good so when Dru came back in yelling about finding him clothes because he was so tall he rubbed his neck grinning she opened the door and rolled her eyes when he went to cover himself "I have three older brothers a younger brother I helped raise and kit lives here you have nothing I haven't seen before" she threw the clothes at him and shut the door he blushed a deep crimson and looked at the clothes they were all black and leather he grimnced he hoped that wasn't really being from fey he had never eaten meat and the very idea made him sick to eat your animal friends was sad he put the shirt on and he couldn't figure out if it was supposed to only cover his top half part or....if it was too tiny but he put it on regardless and looked in the two way glass it only cover his chest part not his shoulders or neck and definitely not his stomach in all honesty he had a feeling it was for a female since it only covered the breast part he rolled his eyes at least it was clothing he put the black underwhear on and then the pants they were very tight and was full of rips and chains he didn't know if they were supposed to be like that or they were used but put them on he did he looked in the two way glass and turned to see everything. not forgetting his family ring he slipped it on over his head along with his mothers favorite gem it was a tiny little trinket a bright green and white gem he had never seen before mother said it wasn't of this world just like ash and it was a gift from his father because it was just as beautiful and otherworldly as he.
His stomach was open and he could see almost everything his V line shown completely it felt oddly exposed and he didn't know how to feel about that. he messed with his hair and grinned ok this would do he walked out and smiled at Drusilla she looked at him and blushed "you look decent" she said looking down quick ash pouted so he walked over to her "may I sit with you?" He asked she nodded he bent down to his clothes and grabbed a leather tie and tied his hair back out of his face he sighed looking at her "so, Drusilla, you are the girl I saw in fairy " he asked hoping he was right Dru looked up at him and bit her lip than nodded "but no one knows ok like ever they can never know" she said sitting up ash nods "I'd never tell them anything you wouldn't want me to" he said smiling at her she blushed "yeah yeah well you need food and last time I checked fairy's don't eat meat right?" She pushed her hair behind her ear "you are correct princess" he said nodding a look of disgust on his face Dru looked at him oddly "why do you keep calling me that?" She asked looking up into his eyes ash was startled they were so beautiful like an ocean with stars from the heavens reflecting down onto it took his breath away he brushed her ebony hair out of her face gently "why call a rose by any other name?" He asked quietly his mouth just next to hers she blushed leaning closer everything slow different quite perfect beautiful.
They jumped apart startled at a knock on the door Drusilla cleared her throat "yes who is it?" She asked her voice still Shakey from being so close to the other Julian walked in and looked at the two oddly "am I interrupting something " he asked confused Dru shook her head "no of course not why would you be interrupting anything? " She said smiling nervously even though they hadn't done anything it still made her a little jumpy like she had murder Zara and had her body stuffed under her bed not like she hadn't thought of it before but still it freaked her out just a bit.
She looked at Julian "so what's up" Julian sighed "we need to talk about him" he said pointing at the boy on her bed ash looked between the two like a lost puppy "me?" He asked when they both just stared at him Julian rolled his eyes "yes you Dru ash in the library two minutes" he said with a Stern I'm dad if you don't listen you'll regret it look and was gone Dru sighed "ash are you sure you-" she was cut off by a pair of lips on hers she sighed cupping the back of his head him doing the same it felt amazing and she needed to stop right now oh no she had to make herself stop and by the angel she didn't think she could.
She pushed him away and wiped her mouth "why did you do that?" She asked eyes wide ash tilted his head "is that not what you wanted princess?" he asked confused she shook her head "I don't know what I want Ash" she stood up and paced around the room she sighed running her hands through her hair she was confused shed never liked a boy before well...before Jamie and he didn't count since he was honestly just using her she looked at him no oh no she isn't going to fall for him hes a Morgenstern on top of everything she sighed and just walked out the door no she couldn't do this now not now she rushed past all her siblings past the lovely eyes that kit and ty were giving each other past the morningful looks of emma and julian past everything past everyone past it all and she sat in the corner alone and thinking like she oh so needed badly to do but no matter what she kept looking at him the way he walked the way he held himself she guessed from being tought how to be a prince everything and it just called to her like nothing else ever had she tried hearing the words julian spoke but honestly all she heard was something about the cold peace and yes that was also a thing that would cause a problem between her and him and anothing thing about clary and Morgenstern bussniss then she heard his voice calming and nice making her want to drift asleep enjoying every word that was spoken making her drift off into a nice peaceful rest until her name was called so she looked up to see all eyes on her "yes?"she asked quietly julian shook his head muttering something about children with there heads in the clouds he looked at her and spoke again in the kind way he had about him always parenting "could you watch out for ash help him find his way and stuff?" he said crossing his arms she looked around it seemed no one else would do it and ash was looking at her like she hung the sun and the moon and her eye were the stars and honestly she didn't know what to say so being nice she said
"sure why not I mean ive taken care him this far so we decided to keep him?" she said pulling off her best-annoyed teen attitude ash looked insulted "im not a pet Drusilla theres no keeping me" he said huffing and what looked almost like pouting and that honestly made her laugh she grinned and spoke across the room "sure what ever you say floof" her laugh made everyone look up they looked oddly at her and she relised..she hadn't laughed since livvia died almost a mouth ago it shocked her that so much time had pasted since her sister had been killed by annabell Lee I guess since then she didn't have a reason to laugh not that she really had one before but for some reason....he made her want to be happy but she couldn't really exsplain why I mean he had been here for less than an hour maybe two and he had already turned her world inside out she stood "ok well I think he might be hungry so im going to go do that" she gave a firm nod like she had made up her mind and wasn't going to change that she walked over to ash and the poor thing looked like he was trying to cover himself she grinned "also I think you need better clothes and not that you can hunt in those but you need something to sleep in" ash stood up and towered over everyone exspeluly her shed have to ask him how tall he was later but right now she needed to feed the hungry fairy dru waved good bye to her family and left leaving everyone confused and slightly dazed in her wake
julian looked around at everyone "what the hell just happened" he asked and not a single person in there could do anything but stare after the very tall pale Morgenstern boy and the tiny little gothic girl that didn't even reach his chest in height Julian shook his head this wasn't going to end well.
dru stood in the kitchen looking through the frigue trying to find some food for ash whist he sat on there bar chairs looking quite uncomfortable he cleared his throat getting her attention "um princess couldn't I just have some of those?" he asked pointing above the frige at the bowl of fruit dru shrugged "I guess ive been looking for that for the last ten minites thank you for letting me know earlier" she glared at him she turned around to reach it and muttered something about "short people problems" she huffed ash grinned and stood up not even having to try and just grabbed it pulling it down dru glared at him her back to his front her hand still reaching he leaned down so their faces were close "im sorry were you trying to get that I couldn't tell it looked almost like you were doing streachs against the frige we both know there was no way your tiny what 5'3 body would manage to grab this" his grin was smug and made his eyes sparkle she sighed his eyes sure were beauftiful but I guess that was the fey in him making everything beautiful and amazing she reached above his head and pulled it down to have a kiss "I still don't know what I want Morgenstern" she said after letting him go
he grimaced at the mention of his last name said with if dru was being honest more than a little bite to the words he sighed looking away his eyes losing some sparkle in the process she looked oddly at him "do you have fangs" she said turning around and putting her fingers in his mouth ash looked at her oddly almost in shock she opened his mouth and her own dropped open "you do! both sets top and bottom by the angel that's adorable" Dru said letting him go ash blushed closing his mouth "yes most fey do" he said looking away Dru grinned turning grabbing the bowl and headed to her room ash shook his head and followed she stood in the middle of her room and turned to look at him as he walked in she sat on her bed him doing the same after he was comfortable she handed him the bowl "so how tall are you" she smirked this had to be good she'd never met anyone taller than Magnus at 6'1 he looked up at her mid-bite of an apple and shrugged "6'6 I believe is human term for such" her eye widened as he continued to eat
scratch that before ash shed never met anyone taller than Magnus "by the angel what do they do to fly there" ash shrugged not looking up from his search for something within the contents of the bowl dru watched him carefully getting up and walking out the door to letting him eat in peace she wanted to find clothes for him but she didn't know if they had any for him she was thinking on what to do when she ran into mark "whats up mark?" she asked in her usual greeting mark looked puzzled "the roof? maybe the sky if you want to go so far" he said tilting his head in confusion Dru sighed forgetting mark had been gone for years before they had finally gotten him back a month or two earlier "never mind so I'm trying to find clothes for ash do you know if we actually have clothes for guys over 6'1?" she asked Mark shook his head "no but I could go get some but I have to bring someone because the last time I went to town alone I didn't know how to get back and ended up using the magic box to speak with Julian so he could find me and as you know dear sister wasn't so good" dru nodded trying not to laugh remembering that day when mark had called frantic about not being able to find his way home and if this meant he was homeless now she just shook her head yes and said a quick goodbye and continued to look for maybe some scissors or something to cut that god awful hair with.
she found some in a junk draw around the house randomly looking through everything she shrugged and took them turning she came face to face with Kieran she screamed holding her chest "by the angel don't you fairy's have bells or something you almost gave me a heart attack" she glared at him Kieran rolled his eyes "no we don't why would we?" dru glared and looked around no one was in the halls and honestly Kieran freaked her out a bit " can I help you?" she said hold the scissors tight Kieran shook his head "no just wanted to know how our new fairy friend was doing is all ma'lady" dru rolled her eyes she was really growing tired of these fairy's and there princess and ma'lady and sneaky crap they pulled "ok well if you don't mind he needs a hair cut hes good going to stay in my room no get your head out of the gutter and good bye" she said in a rush and speed walked the whole way to her room where she slammed the door shut behind her and leaned against it ash looked at her oddly "are you ok?" he said worried she nodded shaking her head she stood next to him and untied his hair "just going to cut some of this ok?" she asked he only looked at her and nodded "as you wish" he looked for wards and she started to cut "so ash how long are you staying?" she said trying to cut as much as she could without making it look bad ash made a humming sound and looked like he was thinking for a bit " I don't know I wish to change how others feel about my family because it wasn't my fathers fault he was the way he was it was my grandfathers he mixed our blood changed it and remade him" dru thought on his words as she cut some more "I see maybe but its going to be hard not many can see past what there own two eyes see if you get were im coming from" she shrugged almost finished ash shook his head "I think so but I want things to be different I want them to be better" she nodded finishing and brushing him off he looked good
and it made her blush she sat across from him as he played with his new hair he looked at her and scooted closer so there so no space between them "Drusilla blackthorn I have a question for you" she nodded honestly scared he was going to like pull a Jonathan and ask her to be his queen well at least it wasn't clary again poor girl "yes?" she asked quietly ash looked at her his eyes full of fear "can you look past my scars to see what I truly am?" he asked letting out a breathe almost like if he moved shed be gone forever... she looked down she didn't know he was a Morgenstern but not only that a fey to she was scared but everyone deserved a chance she looked at him leaned forwards kissed him slowly sweetly they parted and she smiled at him "maybe just maybe I might"
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wow 5,164 words I'm so very proud and the very first story that talks about ash being a Morgenstern I can't wait until queen of air and darkness comes out but thank you so much for waiting this long I oh so hope it was worth the very very very long wait anyway my very first gumlee should be next and that's exciting take a look at this sneak peek from the gumlee one shot
welcome to the town of candy its a tiny town that's no bigger than 150 people but they still loved there tiny town where everyone knew everyone and if there was abuse in a household they'd know and it would be dealt with at the highest most punishment the law had since the children were everything and they hated the very idea of child rape or abuse so when the case of barthowlem candy a descendant of the original founder of there little town was found to be being abused by his father the mayor the whole town went into a uproar how dare he stoop to such a level as to strick his son what could have caused such a kind man to turn so sour as they called it a bad apple turned rotten over years and mold set in covering his heart in the fuzz.
Also, I want to give a very amazing thank you to my favorite beta ever without her I wouldn't have these story's out! thank you so very very much. <3
