Im Joe King

[oh-youprettythings]

list of good men

andy samberg

the fab five

??????????

[kingjaffejoffer]

Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x]

[minusthelove]

Lmao “what do you want to know from me?” Fuck!

[katjohnadams]

So no one thinks that Gordon’s being “Put in his place” or something, this is from Gordon’s show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can’t admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking “exotic” dishes by learning from the people who do it best.

That’s the world’s most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother’s houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn’t shy away from learning from people who’ve never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a “professional” kitchen.

And here he’s showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don’t think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn’t know he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3 

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[markgreenes]

buzzfeed unsolved + onion headlines

[nadiahilker]

i’m always a slut for a christmas au 

“i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”

“i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”

SNOWBALL FIGHTS

“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”

person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)

“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”

I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”

“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”

“’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”

“we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”

“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”

TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 

“we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together” FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 

“we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 

DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 

TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)

“there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 

PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF 

“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

[2019volkswagenjetta]

Thoughts on the new GMM format

I've non-consistently watched GMM for 4-5 years, and after taking a week or so long break from the show I was confused to come back to the channel and see shorter video times, a YouTube Originals text on every thumbnail, and an intense, jam packed feeling as a whole. Since there were only a few of these "new" videos up at the time, I thought that maybe this was temporary; that maybe they were doing promo for Buddy System or something. However, day after day I kept checking back to find more of the same. When I finally clicked on one of the videos, I was shocked and saddened by the product placement disclaimer and plasticky lighting, sound, and personalities  I was seeing. I was desperate to find out more about the "how" and "why" of this change yet found there wasn't much to learn from. I'm still confused and, oddly, hurt by this sudden and anything-but-subtle change. Although I never watched it religiously, GMM has been a fixture in my life for almost as long as I can remember. To see the new, (in my opinion), sold-out and cash-milking show was almost heartbreaking for me as I realized the true gravity of the situation. After weighing all my options, I saw that the only thing, really, for me to do was unsubscribe from GMM and GMMore. I know this may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but as many of you know, when you watch someone evolve and change as much as you do over the years it becomes hard to sever ties in so severe a way. However, the unsavoriness of the new format was too much for me and I couldn't see how I would ever be able to enjoy it. Since then, I have watched Rhett and Link's video responding to fan's criticism of the new show and to me they way they handled it came off as desperate and sputtering; they tried to ridicule and chastise their criticizers without making it look like they were doing so. This whole situation makes me unreasonably upset- probably because it reads like a dystopian novel of how we let the Big Guys (Google) take over the things we love and corporatize them to a point of no recognition. I hope things will go back to the way they were, but I don't think they will. Either way, I want to thank Rhett, Link, and the rest of the mythical crew for the positive effect they've had on my life so far. Some days, a little laughter goes a long way.

[stevesbat]

steve harrington deserves better

steve: *apologizes for his mistakes* *tries to help* *didnt leave nancy after sex* *didnt tell anyone* *got sucked into peer pressure but checked himself* *has a horrible dad but tries not to be like him* *cares for nancy and was hurt by the thought of her cheating/was concerned when he thought jonathan hurt her* *backed off nancy when she said she didn’t want sex the first time* *had no idea what was happening with the creature but still put his life at risk for his friends* *bought jonathan a new camera but let nancy take the cred* everyone: jonathans still better

[byerly-strange]

Steve Harrington loved Nancy so much that he was gonna apologize to her. You know how wild that is? Like she told him she didn’t love him after telling him multiple times she did and he was going to apologize. He loved her so much that it like hurts me.

[urszulonce]

steve went from “your daughter calls me daddy” to “now everyone calls me daddy”

[erodaweather]

i can’t believe y’all r really sleeping on steve spinning nancy around and saying “i missed you” and nancy replying “it’s been like, an hour.” and FUCKING STEVE goes “tell me about it” before kissing herlike get yourself a man that loves you like that.

[elevensconverse]

wills google history:

-is it gay to look at ur pal dude bro like he hung the stars?

-how to not get possessed by monsters

-how to get some rest

-is it cool to play dragons and dungeons in highschool?

-she’s not afraid by one direction lyrics

-am i gay test

-new crayola packs

-tips on entering high school

[serendipitousrambles]

El learning that when you get married you can change your name. Mike explains it’s kind of showing how much you love each other that you’re becoming one family. She didn’t quite understand though and thinks well, she already loves Mike so much. At the dinner table (Mike happened to be there that evening) she asks Hopper: “Can I be called El Wheeler?”

Hopper freezes and Mike chokes on his drink. El watches them both in confused silence. The chief glares at Mike for a moment and turns back to El saying sternly, “That’s up to Wheeler here. But not for many years.”

He turns back to Mike, pointing his fork for emphasis, “Not for many, many years. You got that kid?”

Mike gulps and nods slowly, “Y-yes, sir.”

[mjwatson]

y’all: steve harrington had amazing character development in season 2

me, an intellectual: steve harrington had amazing character development end of season 1

[moved-to-ofswordsandpens]

I do not understand how the Duffer Brothers saw Steve Harrington, took all the potential he had as a character, and proceeded to break from every stereotype they could have placed him under and give him one of the most original and iconic character developments in both Season 1 and 2, now making him a beloved fan-favorite…

…Then saw both Jancy and Stancy, took the potential both couples respectively had, and proceeded to take the most stereotypical, cliched path they could have possibly taken. All the lovely chemistry between Jonathan and Nancy was forcibly rushed into a near fan-fiction narrative with a Plot-Device character literally having to tell the couple how in love they are while also downplaying and underrating any chemistry Nancy and Steve had previously. 

[erodaweather]

Steve Harrington loving Nancy and wanting to be with her but accepting that she doesn’t feel the same and reassuring her that he’s fine with that is like actual crack to me

[byerly-strange]

Steve Harrington loved Nancy so much that he was gonna apologize to her. You know how wild that is? Like she told him she didn’t love him after telling him multiple times she did and he was going to apologize. He loved her so much that it like hurts me.

[karolinasrainbows]

Nancy, drunk at a party: I lost my boyfriends Steve and Jonathan, have you seen them?

Someone: What do they look like?

Nancy: *crying* BEAUTIFUL