THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN
People like to make fun of animators but jokes on themâŠ
WHYâD YALL LEAVE OUT THE BEST ONE?
Canât forget this gem.
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TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Show & Tell
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gracie abrams
I'd rather be in outer space đž
YOU ARE THE REASON

Kiana Khansmith
official daine visual archive
Misplaced Lens Cap

Discoholic đȘ©

#extradirty

ellievsbear
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever
The Stonewall Inn
almost home
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â

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@33organized-chaos33
THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN
People like to make fun of animators but jokes on themâŠ
WHYâD YALL LEAVE OUT THE BEST ONE?
Canât forget this gem.
World Heritage Post
This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.
No you guys this post helped me find my cat. He was missing for almost a month and Iâve had him for over 12 years. After seeing this I put his favorite blanket he always slept on outside hoping he would smell mine or his scent and he was back the next fucking day asleep on it.
When my cat got out, we called and called for him, and then, later that night, I remembered similar advice to this, and so put his little scratching pad, which he adores, on the front porch. Not even half an hour later, I heard a thump, opened the door, and there was his big butt, meowing at me.
Important and vital
I donât care that I reblogged this today Iâm reblogging it again
This is an exception to not being related to writing.
Bringing this back as we approach Halloween. Keep your pets indoors.
Get these ai writing assistants out of my face!!!! I don't care if my writing is bad at least it is mine!!!!
[ first encounter ]
______________________________________________________
guess who's getting a part 3 tomorrow!!!
(hopefully... assuming I don't suddenly decide to rewrite half of it hahah!!!)
HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE INTERACTION?!?! THE ART IS BEAUTIFUL AND THE STORY SO AMAZING I COPIED THE LINK INTO A NOTES DOC SO I WOULDNT LOSE THE FIC!!!
In this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure you've always been aware that your boyfriend Reed had some mental issues and a bad upbringing, to boot. But you love him, and his 'bad traits' don't matter to you...
At least, they don't for now. Right?
đ Episode 1 of 4 đź interactive fanfic "Obsessively, Obscenely, in Love with You." by raccnout đ link to play: https://glimmerfics.com/stories/667a0354-obsessively-obscenely-in-love-with-you
what is your freudian personality type (link below)?
oral receptive
oral aggressive
anal expulsive
anal retentive
phallic aggressive
phallic compensative
classic hysteric
retentive hysteric
tie between two or more
Comprehensive personality style test, measuring your personality on several scales and dimensions.
Tell me you love me *bats my eyes aggressively and takes flight; Blasting off like team rocket* đ€
I have no love left in my heart after the surgery. *lowers head and remembers the incident where a team rocket impersonator broke through my roof, collapsing 1000 metric tons of weight onto my rib cage, already broken by the person who had hit me going 300+ miles per hour* If only I knew who caused my family such extensive painâŠ
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Calculus
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Algebra
Harry Potter and the Philosopherâs Theorem
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Analysis
Harry Potter and the Order of Operations
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Statistician
Harry Potter and the Deathly Algorithms
OH MY GOD
AND THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS
Iâm in Dumbledores math clubâŠ
More like Harry Hypotternuse.
Youâre a mathemagician, Harry.
I just couldnât not reblog this.
That right triangle on his forehead!
THE ORIGINAL POST Y'ALL
Totally Re-blogging for the math puns
Damn, you should post something funny rn
4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.
5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger
6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights
7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)
That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving
8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.
Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time
girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.
guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis
(Iâm an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)
- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back
Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.
E.g.
I f ing hate that we need to reblog this, people suck, but this will save lives.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST
Being female fucking sucks but yes this shit is important for everyone
Also, do not walk close to walls. It will be easier for someone so walk past you and push you against it or corner you.
If your gut is telling you to cross the street or change your path, do it. Donât risk it. Your body knows.
If you can, buy a large umbrella and walk holding it. Studies say that predators are less likely to attempt an attack on someone that could fight back. Keys around your knuckles is fine but youâll need to get very close to do damage. Umbrellas are more precise.
Avoid wearing headphones if you are alone on an empty street. Look aware.
Again: Stay. Away. From. Walls.
Entering an uber alone? Call your father (or anyone you trust) and say âhey dad! Yep, Iâm almost there, Iâm sending you the route.â outloud. Then proceed to send them the route so they can follow the uber drive. This will most likely intimidate the predator.
If you see someone in an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation, walk up to them and say âBetty, oh my god, I havenât seen you in so long!â. If she gets slightly confused, you can whisper and let her know youâre trying to help and that she should follow along. Walk together to another station or away from where you are. The man will most likely not follow. I have done this one 2 times and can be very helpful.
If you are unsure she needs help, you can pass her a note saying something like âhey, I noticed this man beside you is making you uncomfortable. If youâd like help, fake a sneeze right now and I will come up to you and pretend we are friends.â This is a long note, but its an example. Be discrete. If she follows along, proceed with the previous tip. This is helpful when youâre in a crowded train and you notice harassment.
Help your sisters. Trust them. Trust yourself. Be safe.
If you ever feel unsafe or need help, anyone is welcome to run upto me and ask me for help! Iâll go all mama bear and keep you safe!!!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/166g6Vo8Fb9H3FIZF2H6faEBHtFQSf7nVn_QxcJ9NMi0/edit?usp=sharing
I made this google doc covering 14 different self defense tips and tricks. it was made on January 15th, 2020 so it was before I decided Iâd come back to tumblr jhjshdbjfh.
i fucking hate this world. anyways R E B L O G
Just saw a video explaining why putting a key between each finger is more likely to hurt you than them (the keys will just get pushed back into your knuckles). A better way to hold them is to get your longest key and just clench your hand around it, like youâre making a fist. Thatâll give you a lot more force and means you can use them in more scenarios (if someone grabs you from behind, you can use the key this way)
Not only for girls and women but also for boys and men.
i feel obligated to reblog this.
I hate that we need these things, but this is so so so important, it can literally save someoneâs life
How to tell if your drink has been spiked:
1. The colour of it has changed
2. Itâs become cloudy-looking
3. There more bubbles in it than should be
4. The ice in it sinks
If you are being followed, go to somewhere with high security like a jewellery store or a bar, if you can, and say whatâs happening (the jewellery store and bar are best shots because theyâre the most likely ones to believe you, the bar for obvious reasons and the jewellery store because thereâs not likely to be a huge presence of toxic masculinity so youâll be believed)
I hate it so much that i have to reblog this and that we still need this, but itâs so important!! Please everyone (yes also boys/men/enbys/genderfluids/everyone) stay safe out there!!
but I was never taught these things.
The first time I was groped, I was 10 years old. Do you feel sick yet? 10 years. What kind of fucker gropes a 10 y/o?
All I have learnt is to use my elbow or knee or fist or just duck and avoid contact. This post helped a lot, thanks.
It was the english teacher at my old school tho I did broke his nose and stabbed his stomach with a pen so
Also carry pointie / sharp or that which has a edge, it helps a lot, yk, just stab
-if youâre walking alone w/ headphones in, either have one earbud out at all times or have the music/podcast/audiobook/whatever youâre listening to on low and always listen for footsteps or other noises coming from behind you
-If there is a strange looking man in front of your building who doesnât live there, walk around the block until he leaves so he canât figure out that you live there and so he canât kidnap you
-if a man is groping you against your will, go for the balls. always go for the balls. Itâll 1) hurt like hell, and 2) shock him to the point where you can probably run away and get help.
- carry pepper spray or some other type of weapon
As this site is full of readers,
1: if youâre reading a book with a large number of pages, you know, those BIG ONES, or with the hard cover, donât leave it at home and never bring outside. Iâm not saying to bring it everywhere, but if you are going to any possible dangerous places alone, bring them, in a purse or even by hand (to show it to everyone). Believe me, if you hit someone with it, it will hurt them!!
2: hairspray works just like pepper spray
3: if your being attacked, and you donât have any pointed objects, neither training, put your fingers on the predators eyes and press it. With all your strength, it will leave them blind or disabled. Use it only if your life is in risk!
4:
5: the iPhones have a great setting that if you press it will call police, send them photos of your back and front cameras and send a message to the contacts you select saying your in danger; press 5times the âturn offâ button and it will appear -sometimes you have to activate it before-
6:
Iâm so happy to share these tips.
Donât ignore pls it might save your of someone elseâs life
truthfully, itâs a shame that this is a problem in the first place.
thank you to everyone who gave tips, and please reblog! it may help someone in the long run, and maybe even save their life.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST
I was thinking about this post again and how people say we need to teach our boys and men to be better. So if you, like me, are a guy whoâs horrified by everything youâve just read, heres some things i was taught to make the women (and everyone else!) around you feel safer
1. If youâre on a dark and quiet street, stay out of other peoples personal space. If you have to pass someone, ideally cross the road to do so but if you canât, give them a wide berth. (think keeping 6 feet apart from COVID regulations) If youâre coming up behind someone, make some kind of noise so you donât accidentally sneak up on them. Cough or talk on the phone.
2. Donât accidentally follow people. If youâve noticed youâve made the same few turns as someone, they probably have as well. Take a detour or cross the road. If you come out of somewhere like a bus stop with a few other people, walk quickly so you get in front of them.
3. Where possible, donât approach random women for help. This is a known kidnapping technique. Approach a friendly looking man or call someone you know/emergency services.
4. Get Consent. There is no situation where you are entitled to someone elseâs body. To elaborate on this, you need Enthusiastic consent. If she says yes but shes drunk, or you had to guilt her into it, or she said it reluctantly, or her body language says no, then thatâs not consent. This concept applies to plenty of nonsexual situations as well.
5. Look after your female friends. Offer to walk them home. You may not think you can do a lot but another person being there could be enough to put off a would be attacker (Iâm a massive softie but im sure my 6'2" silhouette would make someone think before messing with my 5'7" friend) Get in the habit of asking them to text you when they get home safe and other similar measures like location sharing if they are comfortable with that.
6. Be patient and understanding of the things women have to do to stay safe. Donât be offended if your date has to send a photo of you/your license plates to her friend. Donât complain that your friend always wants you to walk her home. An inconvenience to you could mean life or death to her. Take your friendsâ concerns seriously. If they tell you they feel unsafe they probably are and you should do what you can to get them out of that situration
7. Finally, read all the self defence tips above and take them seriously. Your maleness does not make you immune to these kind of attacks, even if they are mainly targetted at women. It never hurts to have a plan to keep yourself and those around you safe.
I hope this was helpful, and keep in mind these tips could apply to all genders and orientations, even though iâve aimed it at straight men.
Ty for this addition itâs really refreshing and takes the weight off of our shoulders a lil.
Stay safe out there! If not for yourself then do it for me-
thinking about a yandere forgotten god...
(male yandere x gn mercenary reader)
part 1
tw: manipulative behavior, reader was lost at sea before the story began, reader also has self-worth issues
you felt soft, cool hands shaking you awake. your head felt like it was full of cotton, but you could faintly hear a masculine voice excitedly speaking, "good morning! sorry to wake you up, but i can't have you dying on your first day here!"
as you feel yourself waking up, you try to rack your brain to figure out how you got in this situation. you slowly become aware of the sand beneath your body and the feeling of waves ebbing and flowing near your legs. are you... on a beach?
you struggle to open your eyes, but you can feel those same hands prop you up into a sitting position. you feel a cool hand against your forehead, and you lean into the hand before you can stop yourself.
you hear the voice again, "you poor thing! you're burning up!" the voice sounded concerned, but through your muffled hearing you could also make out concealed... excitement?
you feel one arm move to support your back and another underneath your knees. you begin trying to open your eyes again, and as you do you can feel yourself being lifted off of the sandy beach. the voice pipes up again, "let me bring you inside! it's been so long since someone has washed up on my island!"
Yandere Alien
Part 1
Yandere! Alien whoâs been living with you for a few months now. Itâs not easy living with an alien. You two are from completely different worlds, itâs a massive cultural shock for the both of you. He keeps talking about you being his bride, he canât keep his hands to himself, and he just keeps trying toâwhat? Court you? Seduce you? You donât even know anymore. This whole situation is just too weird.
Yandere! Alien who barely lets you out of the apartment. Youâve tried explaining to him that you canât just stay home all the time, no matter how much he begs. You have a job, you need to go there sometimes to get money and provide for the two of you. Cause you know damn well he canât go and do it himself. But he eventually accepts it, with a lot of tears involved in the process.
Yandere! Alien who has a phone now. You thought that the best way to check on him in case he does anything stupid is with a phone, and this also allows him to still be somehow connected with you, so itâs a win-win. But now you have to endure the hundreds of messages that he sends you throughout the day! He sends you memes that he finds funny, long paragraphs saying how much he misses you, a link to an âAlien x Readerâ ficâwait. What? This is how he spends his free time? Why is he even reading that?
Yandere! Alien who enjoys the midnight strolls that you take with him. You always show him new places, and never fail to make sure that itâs safe for him. He loves seeing all the bright neon lights, the big parks that are filled with colorful flowers and trees, and playing with the stray cats from the alleys you pass by. Itâs very peaceful and intimate. Romantic even. He wishes he could take these same strolls during the day. Itâs so unfair, he just wants to go out with his future bride in broad daylight, thatâs not a crime! Would people really get that freaked out if they saw him? Really? Heâs just a chill guy! Sure, he may have antennae, gray skin, and pointy ears. But heâs just like everybody else! Here, check him out. Youâll see just how much resemblance he has with male humans.
Yandere! Alien whoâs been courting you ever since he met you, and you still havenât reciprocated his feelings! Heâs starting to get a bit impatient. Heâs pretty sure he has seen every single rom-com there is, so why isnât it working?! He cuddles you every night, makes you breakfast in the morning, he greets you with a kiss on your cheek when you come back from work. Ugh! He even ripped off his tracker chip from his body so no one on his planet would find him! Should he start courting you the way they do on his planet instead? You want him to behead your enemies and bring you their skin?
Yandere! Alien who on one hand knows that he canât stop you from having friends and hanging out with them. But on the other hand he wants to stab them for taking you away from him. So he does the only logical thing, he breaks the one rule that youâve asked him not to break. He leaves the apartment to stalkâmake sure youâre okay! Can you blame him though? Those âfriendsâ of yours are a bunch of creeps. Câmon, why would a stinky human male hug you? That guy is probably trying to court youâwhy are you hugging him back?! No, nop, absolutely not. He cannot stand for this.
Yandere! Alien who carries you in his arms the second you get home, bringing you to your bedroom as you yell at him to let you go, kicking and pushing at him to try to break free. He ignores your failed attempts and mutes out your confused pries, finally letting you down on your bed. He pins you down to the mattress, getting on top of you to prevent you from escaping his hold. Heâs tried so hard to show you just how much he wants you, needs you. Youâre his savior, the person who takes care of him day after day. So why do you let other males get so close to you? ButâŠthis is on him. Perhaps he shouldâve been clearer of his intentions, more assertive of his feelings. Oh, this has gone too far, he has to let you know exactly what he wants. There will be no doubts of his love for you when heâs done. Heâll make sure to show you all the love he has for you.
Yandere! Alien who caresses your skin so softly, as if he was afraid it would break. His hand creeping up under your shirt, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake. You hope that youâre somehow misinterpreting the situation. You never thought that his approaches wouldâve ended up inâŠthis. All those times his hands grazed your waist when you passed by. When his touch would always linger a little too long. You didnât think it would get to this, and look at you know.
Yandere! Alien who has kept you so busy ever since you met him, that you never had time to go on dates or meet new people. Now that you think about it, itâs been a while since youâve relieved some stress. You certainly wouldnât mind receiving some well needed attention. SoâŠyou can either let go of your common sense and enjoy yourself, with the knowledge that youâll have to deal with an alien being ten times clingier than before and who will probably take this as your consent to getting married, orâŠjust stick to your lucidity and turn him downâŠ
Yandere! Alien who makes you forget you ever had common sense in the first place. Câmon, you have the right to have a good time, youâll deal with the consequences later! So just lie down, relax, and let your lovely alien please you the way he knows how. That website heâs been watching has taught him all he needs to know about it. It really came in handy in the end, huh?
Yandere! Alien who will make you see stars.
Here it is! Part 2! I didn't think that the first part would get so many likes, so I kinda had to improvise this one. I know it's shorter than the first one, I just wanted to post something, anything. So I came up with this. I hope you like it. Thank you so much for all the support. Writting sure is difficult, but I really like it, and your support insipires me! Kisses <3
Baby trapping but instead of knocking up darling, yandere and darling make a little makeshift leprechaun trap and boom they trapped a baby
Fleeting(Yandere Tamagotchi x Reader Pt 1.)
[Yes this is heavily based on dachabo because I love it so much but I wish there was more of a story.]
TW: Guilt tripping, obsessive behavior, strangulation, implied murder, pretty mundane type shit for a yandere
âThe fuck is it?â Youâre blunt in your confusion of why heâs in your house and whatâs in his hand.
Taking it in stride as always Silas gives you a grin and places the small egg shaped device in your hand. An unhealthy amount of what you presume to be dust and dirt coat it except for around the screen where it seemed heâd wiped it off with his thumb leaving behind a residual print.
âItâs one of those virtual pet thingys. Found it while I was checking out the abandoned factory by the waterfall.â
This gets a start from you having previously thought anything worth finding there had already been taken or destroyed by teens of eras past. Obviously this was not the case. âWhere in there did you find this?â
hi! I'm very sorry to randomly send a message, I'm reaching out to my followers to see if anyone can help :') I'm a refugee facing deportation and you're my very last hope to stay safe. The info is on my pinned post.
If you can't help, that's totally okay! Thank you for reading and again sorry to bother you, I know these messages can be very annoying. And if you've already reblogged/donated, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
have a nice day!
Sorry I donât now how late this message is since I rarely check my notifications but I reblogged!! Hope things improve
so my life is once again in danger
I'm a venezuelan refugee in Spain since 2019. My focus was entirely on escaping and staying in a safe country. When I got here, I got the help of an accountant/manager to start working legally.
He committed fraud in my name without telling me and refused to take responsibility. I was penalized to pay âŹ8600 for his mistake.
I'll add the whole explanation after the read more because you need context to understand what he did.
And now if I can't pay this thing, my residence will be taken away. I will be deported.
I've tried so hard to raise this money. More work, more marketing, preorders, asking for a loan, but nothing has worked.
I have until next month to pay it so I can renew my residence.
All I wanted was to do things right. I thought seeking a professional to handle the legal aspects of my business was the right thing to do. I thought I could finally breathe after being treated like a criminal for years in Venezuela, when all I want is to make my silly little figurines in peace.
I need to take care of my babies (cats) and my parents who are still stuck in Venezuela. I only make enough to live + take care of them, and it's become clear that I can't raise this money by work alone.
So please, any help is appreciated. Reblogs, orders, commissions. I'm so incredibly embarrassed to make this post, but I'm desperate. I don't want to be deported. I don't want to be an illegal alien. I don't want to live in constant fear again.
Here's my Ko-fi link, thank you for reading
https://ko-fi.com/marlikesunicorns/goal?g=0
and this is my shop
â€ïžâ€ïž
Ever meet someone really freaking funny and sweet online and really want to be their friend, but youâre too awkward to actually say anything? Just me?