Double Finger Pistols and a Wink

Spend fiddies, boop tiddies, pet kitties

[outtox1cated]

New favorite genre of posts

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[crimsonclad]

I saw a bumper sticker and thought “is that seductive Daffy Duck” and then when I looked closer I realized it was actually a fishing bumper sticker but also. also it is still very much seductive Daffy Duck???? somehow????????

[drarry]

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

[drarry]

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

Like to charge

Reblog to cast

[venonomnomicon]

you're a good soldier for mommy, aren't you?

[girlthulhu]

wololo

[venonomnomicon]

you're a good soldier for mommy, aren't you?

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[corrucyst]

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[empurressnepetaiii]

:33 < sighhhhh... is it pure enough for kokomo atleast? I need SOMETHING to look forward to....

[ooppo]

Actually, Nepeta from Homestuck, you're good to come in

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[decompose1]

neovaginas can get wet naturally

a neophallus can get erect with an implant (this will either be a bendable rod or a device that inflates with saline at the press of a button, usually in the testicles)

both can feel sexual pleasure and experience orgasm

most neovaginas will be able to tolerate larger insertions with enough dilating/training

the nerves in neophalluses take a while to regrow but it is incredibly rare to experience no sexual nerve growth

both can look and feel "normal" if that's what you want, just take good care of your scars and look at your surgeons' results portfolio (and don't be afraid to be picky! its your genitals, you get to decide!)

in fact it's possible for many people to stealth and for their sexual partners to never know. even for phallo, some people with natal penises have erectile implants too, ED is common. neocaginas are often indistinguishable from natal vaginas

many surgeons are starting to offer preservation options for patients who want a more mixed look/don't want to lose what they have

YOU HAVE OPTIONS! demystify bottom surgery

[pipermintz-deactivated20260402]

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

[eternalfarnham]

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[catchymemes]

[josephbrassey]

“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”

Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.

“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”

Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.

“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”

You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?

One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.

The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.

And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.

And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.

[gudamor]

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day

[teabree-shark]

[m0thmancore]