[samlickereightyone]

MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21?????????????

[samlickereightyone]

he should’ve been at the clubbbbbb……..

[helloitsbees]

[peachyjude]

and i do think shane keeps that soft blue hoodie from their emotionally significant first time anal hookup… even though it’s faded and it doesn’t fit him anymore. it’s really been through the ringer from how much he wore it, especially those first few years. i think he keeps it tucked in the back of his closet, or maybe a bin, he doesn’t even pull it out when he and ilya eventually move in together and get married — his little keepsake. and one day when they’re cleaning out their things, the years they’ve spent together evident in just how much they have in their house, ilya finds that blue hoodie, and his heart stutters. he can hardly breathe all of a sudden, remembering the boy in the stairwell looking up at him with stars in his eyes. the boy that was so sweet and shy and perfect for him that first time. how easily he came apart under ilya, warm and pliant. the way it felt natural between them, the way they fit so well. the way ilya knew, even then, that they could be something. were something, something bigger than he could fathom.

and shane finds ilya there, hoodie in his hands, frozen in silence. “oh,” shane says, “that’s — i probably should’ve gotten rid of that ages ago.” ilya looks at him then, still half choked, blurts out, “never. you’re never getting rid of it.” and it dawns on shane that ilya must know why he kept it, all those years. the hidden reel of memories they share between them.

“i wore it for days afterward,” shane says, because he can, now. “because it smelled like you, a little. it was almost like — you were holding me, still. kissing me. kinda stupid, isn’t it?”

and ilya promptly bursts into tears all over the hoodie.

[violetsbookshelf]

Pointe Skirt by Darinika Atelier

[isolabellz]

hollanov honeymoon scenes

[handsywoman]

[lavenderprose]

I like to imagine that, partially due to the Hockey Robot stereotyping and partially due to his watertight media training, commentators are constantly going on about "What's going on in Hollander's head? What was Hollander thinking there? Can't help but wonder what the Metros' Captain has on his mind right now." and it's like. Well statistically speaking. Cock.

[bugslibraryy]

It’s like no one even wants to talk about Shane and Ilya getting drunk together for the first time at the cottage over small table with candles lit and Shane asking earnestly “is this how dates actually go? They’re nice”. And Ilya has to Die about it and Kiss him about it a lot because Shane means it- he’s been on dates but none that felt like this like Ilya was all over him and too far away at the same time and there was all this want tangled up under the table between them and the knowledge that they are going to fuck after this and he gets to watch Ilya laugh across the table and flirt with him and Shane gets to watch Ilya watch his mouth when he sips at his beer and feel the air thicken when he puts his feet between Ilya’s, like his pulse ticking up up when Ilya takes his hand briefly and opens his palm and traces his fingers over the lines of Shane’s palms as he’s explaining a play, using Shane’s hand as paper just as an excuse to touch

[parcai]

shane is such a terrifying captain & i feel like nobody talks abt this. ive seen maybe 2 fics that did this well tops.

he's not bro-ey & brotherly the way roz is. he's a child prodigy, runs a tight ship, efficient as fuck, Hockey Jesus AND plays in montreal (habs lore) so the city does in fact think he can turn water to wine they have sanctified him, & only social enough to keep the respect of his team, so mostly the vets anyway. he dishes advice bluntly & matter of fact, not rude but it's like that's it end of convo. what i say goes bc it DOES. above all this man does not want to be fucking embarrassed, esp not by teammates playing like it's amateur hr. his rooks prob stutter out half sentences around him, get nervous when he approaches them, he is INTIMIDATING but not on purpose!!!1!1!!

[notahungrywish]

Shane in the shower in HR: it doesn’t count if I’m fingering myself for hygiene reasons. fingering myself until I come is fine because I’m just really dedicated to hygiene. it’s not gay it’s not gay it’s not gay no one can tell it’s not gay

Ilya in the shower in hr: letting his no-poo curly girl method deep conditioner soak in while imagining a complex scenario in which he scores a hat trick and then…oh no! The sound system at the arena isn’t working! If only someone could perform the goal song live, like Ilya Rozanov maybe. Haha. Unless….and then he raps so well that espn’s coverage is just “have you considered a side career as the new Eminem?”

[notahungrywish]

Ilya showering in TLG: staring at a bar of hotel soap, wondering if he’s incapable of truly being loved. also if he nudged the hair dryer just a little like…hmm

Shane showering in TLG: what if Wayne Gretzky made me suck him off…for hockey?

[snowsmoked]

Shane notices that Ilya always has to be doing something. At first, he thinks its sweet, attentive.

"Is your blanket warm enough? I'll go get another one."

"I will carry plates, go sit."

"Practice is optional for players, Shane, not captain."

And, look, Shane isn't one to lay about. He's up for morning runs, he attends almost every optional practice, he's meticulous about his work out routines. He's a top athlete and so is Ilya, they both work incredibly hard to stay at the top. Still, Shane doesn't have a problem with a lazy afternoon reading in bed, or a free weekend spent at his cottage, or a summer relaxing.

He notices that sometimes Ilya will startle, just a little bit, if Shane walks into the room when he's laying on the couch, scrolling through his phone. If Shane makes even the slightest request, Ilya is jumping to get it done there and then. He's the first one at practice and the last one to leave.

He will take naps with Shane, but he's always up before Shane, working out in the gym, doing their monthly calendar, adding things Shane likes to their shopping list that he wouldn't add, etc.

"Just sit with me," Shane catches Ilya's arm on his latest trip to the kitchen."

"I know, I will," Ilya covers his hand. "I just want to wipe down counters before your parents get here."

"They won't care," Shane scrunches up his face. "They won't even notice. Come sit down."

"Okay," Ilya says, but looks a little torn. "We are suppose to be hosting, not lazing around."

"Ilya," Shane sat up more. "You cleaned the whole house like twice today. I cooked. We aren't lazing around."

"Yes, I know, but..."

"Ilya, you aren't lazy," Shane said directly. He doesn't know exactly why that word seems difficult for Ilya, but he has his suspicions. "And even if you were lazy sometimes, I wouldn't care. I would like it, probably."

Ilya softened. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Shane tugs him and Ilya finally lets himself be pulled into Shane's lap. "Just come be lazy with me."

"Hm," Ilya adjusts himself to better snuggle into his boyfriend. "That does not sound so bad."

[nicolegendary]

i knowwwwww in my heart ilya would love taking shanes last name and after they have kids referring to their family unit as hollanders. ilya turning around to the backseat like okey hollanders here is plan. we are going to be in and out of costco in thirty minutes. you may choose ONE item each. if we get separated we meet at optometrist. we will get ice creams on way out as long as everyone is cool and nobody tells dad. hollanders on three.

[actuallysara]

haha we're in danger

[regainingparadise]

When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[brokentoasterrr]

i hate that you’re so right re: the orthorexic tendencies (and everything else. shane is buying slow feeder bowls and treat puzzles and feeding anya dog friendly soup once a week)

[manhasetardis]

Shane Summer Fest | Week Three - Fun in the Sun

"You are sunlight through a window, which I stand in, warmed." - Jessie Burton

[delirious--mistakes]

[corrya]

I think about this like once a day