Chris Cornell/Eddie Vedder Fanfiction

Just another grunge fanfic. My main is @peacelovedope69

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter 12: Stone's POV

A/N: Ugh, I keep forgetting to post! Sorry about that. I’ll try to post the next chapter soon. Please like and comment, it keeps me going!

TW for vomiting

They make it to Bakersfield – like four hours – without talking, aside from occasional pleasantries. Stone thinks Eddie might even be asleep at one point, and he’s getting pretty tired himself when Eddie suddenly says, his voice hesitant and awkward, “Did I… do something?”

“What?” Stone asks in surprise, because he’s been really spaced out and his brain has to catch up. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie says uncomfortably. “We were talking and stuff and now it’s… never mind.”

“Okay,” Stone says, and he knows he’s being an ass but he’s too tired to care. Eddie turns away and stares out his window and Stone can see in its reflection he’s starting to tear up. He sighs. “Ed…” he starts, but can’t think of anything else to say. He’s not mad at Eddie anyway, he’s guilty, but he can hardly say that. “I’m just tired,” he finishes and feels even worse for lying, but Eddie glances over and he looks so relieved Stone can’t help but feel a little better.

“Okay, that’s fine,” he says, offering a tiny smile, and Stone nods. “We don’t have to talk then.”

“Cool,” Stone says. Silence for a few minutes. Then, “Uh, do you maybe want to drive for a while?” He thinks it’s a little rude to ask, but his eyes are actually burning and he keeps thinking there are dark shapes in the road, so maybe it’s safer if Eddie drives anyway.

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie says, and Stone pulls over instantly, rubbing his eyes for a minute before he climbs out and walks around to the other side, his legs aching. He pauses to stretch for a moment before he climbs in the passenger seat; Eddie’s already in the driver’s side, waiting.

“Are you doing okay?” Eddie asks cautiously as he pulls out. Stone glances over, frowning.

“Yeah, why?” he says, and wonders if maybe Eddie’s asking so he’ll ask too. “Are you?”

“Yeah…?” Eddie says like it’s a question, seemingly equally confused. “I just meant because you’re pretty quiet, you know.”

“I’m just tired,” Stone says again, resting his head on the headrest. He doesn’t bother looking over to see if Eddie believes him – he’s busy trying not to think about Beth on the off chance Eddie can read minds.

“Okay,” Eddie says after a minute. Then he adds in a rush, “Just because Chris is fucked up doesn’t mean you can’t be.”

“I know,” Stone says, clenching his hands into fists and forcing himself to breathe evenly. “Can we just keep driving, please?”

Maybe Eddie hears something in his voice, because he nods and stops asking questions. There’s silence for a long minute and Stone suddenly wishes he was with Andy, a painful ache in his chest that says that Andy would know exactly what to say and how to make him feel better, and all of a sudden he hates Eddie for being Eddie and not Andy, for being necessary.

“What?” Eddie says, making him jump, and Stone realizes that he’s glaring.

“Nothing,” he says sharply, and goes back to staring out the window. What the fuck is wrong with me? He suddenly feels like he can’t control or hold back any of his emotions, and it comes up all at once by throwing up.

Everywhere.

“Holy shit!” Eddie shrieks, slamming on the brakes and nearly going off the road. Stone squeezes his eyes shut, nauseous.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans out, looking at his car. Now it’s stained with both Chris’s blood and his puke.

“Okay, there’s a gas station up here,” Eddie says through his hand over his mouth. He looks like he might throw up himself. “We can get some paper towels, we have more clothes in the back –” He gags violently. “Shit.”

“I’m sorry,” Stone says miserably, digging a couple of napkins out of the glovebox and fruitlessly trying to wipe himself off.

“Don’t, you’ll just rub it in,” Eddie says, a little sharply, and Stone winces and stops. That’s the last thing he needs.

“Fuck, this is gonna smell for the whole trip now,” he mutters. Eddie wrinkles his nose.

“It’s only a few more hours,” he says weakly, pulling into the gas station. “They probably have air fresheners or something in there anyway.”

“Yeah, true,” Stone mutters, and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt and holds it away from his body. Eddie gets out and goes inside, and after a few minutes returns and opens Stone’s door, handing him a wad of paper towels.

“Okay, uh, try to step out and wipe your stuff off a little and I’ll get your bag out of the back.”

“Cool,” Stone says, because this is actually a nightmare and it’s all he can think of to say. He carefully stands up, shaking the puke off his shirt, and peels it off, wiping himself off with the paper towels. He ditches the shirt – it was pretty old anyway – and pulls off his shoes.

It takes them almost a full hour to clean up the car – and Stone – before they load it up with about ten air fresheners and finally start driving again. Stone stays totally silent, still utterly humiliated, and Eddie is clearly too busy pretending he’s not gagging to carry on a conversation.

“Stop,” Stone snaps, suddenly angry. It’s almost more humiliating for Eddie to pretend it’s not bothering him than to just admit it.

“What?” Eddie asks innocently, and Stone glares at him viciously until he sighs. “Okay, it’s not that bad. I just have a weak stomach.”

“Jesus,” Stone mutters, not even sure why he’s so upset. Again, he finds himself wishing he was with Andy, and then he feels guilty. Eddie’s fine – he’s just not the right person right now. It suddenly occurs to Stone that Andy’s mom has been calling – he could always ask Eddie to stop again and call her back. He’s just opening his mouth to tell Eddie to find a place to stop when he remembers they’re already an hour off track.

“What?” Eddie says, looking over. Stone shakes his head. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing,” Stone says, and realizes how petulant he sounds. He sighs. “Andy’s mom has been calling me.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, still seeming a little confused. “And… you want to know why?”

“No, I was just… thinking,” Stone says. “Of calling her back, but we’re already off track.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, looking a little guilty, like he was the one who puked everywhere. “I mean, we can stop if you need to…”

“I’m good,” Stone says, like it would be ridiculous not to be. “Just keep driving.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Uh… want to play the questions game again?”

Stone shakes his head, and feels a little guilty at how disappointed Eddie looks – but not disappointed enough to play Twenty Questions with him. He would rather jump off a cliff than talk right now.

Around three, they stop at a gas station and load up on coffee – they still have two hours left to go. Stone is so tired he’s starting to cheer up out of sheer delirium, and Eddie’s clearly had way too much caffeine – they’re both laughing so hard the car is swerving all over the place, and Stone can’t even bring himself to be worried.

“Jesus,” he gasps out. “It can be taken different ways, okay, it’s not –”

“That’s what she said!” Eddie nearly screams out, and Stone starts choking again.

“Oh my god,” he wheezes out, and Eddie swerves so hard they go into the oncoming lane for a minute, barely missing a passing semi. For a second they stare in horror, and then Eddie takes a giant sip of coffee and Stone cracks up again, and Eddie does too.

“Okay, pull over, pull over,” he croaks out, because his car is in serious danger. Eddie is roaring with laughter, but he somehow guides the car to the shoulder and they sit there for a minute just doubled over, tears streaming down their faces.

“Okay, I think that’s enough coffee,” Eddie giggles, and Stone picks up the cups and dumps them out the window, making Eddie shriek with laughter again.

“Stone,” he chokes out, pounding his knee desperately, and Stone bursts out laughing too. He can’t help it.

“Okay, okay,” he says after a minute, calming a little. Eddie is still grinning. “We gotta start driving again.”

“Fine,” Eddie laughs out. “You wanna drive?”

“Sure,” Stone says, hopping out. He shoots Eddie a quick smile as they pass each other and settles into the driver’s seat. “Where exactly are we going, anyway? Do you still have the map?”

“I think it got puked on,” Eddie says, clearly trying not to laugh again. “It’s okay, once we get into San Diego I can just tell you where to go. Probably.”

“Oh, that’s reassuring,” Stone says sarcastically, but he smiles so Eddie knows he’s joking. “I guess I’ll just keep going the same way, then.”

“Sweet,” Eddie says, and Stone instantly starts laughing again.

“You are such a surfer,” he says, and Eddie laughs a little, embarrassed. Stone elbows him lightly. “Cowabunga, duuuude,” he says very sincerely. Eddie just rolls his eyes, smiling. “You know you love it,” Stone tells him.

“Definitely,” Eddie says. After a minute his smile fades a little. “How do you think Chris is doing?” he asks cautiously. Stone sighs.

“At this time of night, he’s either passed out or blissfully drunk,” he says, and Eddie shoots him a look. Stone frowns. “He’s fine,” he says seriously. “Jeff’s with him, and if he’s not, it’s because he’s fine. So you have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Eddie says reluctantly. “I guess I just have to get used to it.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of all this stuff,” Stone says. “And despite how people act, you’re not the only transplant. Jeff is from Montana, actually, he hasn’t lived here that long.”

“Really?” Eddie says in shock. “Everyone’s acting like I’m such an outsider – I mean, not that many people,” he adds quickly, probably noticing how pissed Stone looks. He still can’t believe people are being rude to Eddie about that. “It’s just ironic, is all.”

“Yeah, it’s stupid,” Stone mutters. “People here can be real asses.”

“Most people have been nice so far,” Eddie offers. Stone nods, even though he doubts Eddie is telling the truth.

“That’s good,” he says. There’s silence for a while, and then Stone realizes Eddie is laughing quietly. “What?” he asks, glancing over and smiling. Eddie just shakes his head.

“I was just thinking… I really could’ve used that coffee,” he laughs, and Stone grins.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he says. “We can always stop and get some more if you want.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Eddie says. “We’re already gonna be there really late, anyway.”

“Oh, should you call your mom so she knows we’re still coming?” Stone asks. “She was expecting us at midnight, it might be a little weird to show up at like six in the morning.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie says dismissively, and Stone raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Are you sure?” he says. “I’d definitely want to know if I were her. And we’re gonna be really late.”

Eddie sighs heavily and Stone glances at him curiously. “The thing is… she doesn’t really know I’m coming,” he says, and starts giggling again.

“What?” Stone chokes out. “She doesn’t know we’re coming? Will she even let us stay there?”

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie says, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “It was her idea for me to visit him, anyway.”

“So your plan was just for us to show up in the middle of the night and convince her to let us hang for a few days?”

“Well… yeah,” Eddie says, and Stone can’t help but laugh too.

“Jesus,” is all he can think to say. “Wow. This trip is a fucking mess.”

“Yeah,” Eddie laughs. “Ah, fuck.”

“Fuck,” Stone agrees weakly, smiling too. “Let’s get more coffee.”

“Can we afford it?” Eddie says, and they both crack up again.

“Not really,” Stone admits. “We can just take turns driving and napping.”

“Deal,” Eddie says. Stone shakes his head a little, smiling.

“What time does your mom get up, anyway?” he asks. “Will she be up at six, or is it one of those families where six is like the middle of the night?”

“I think she gets up around seven,” Eddie says doubtfully. “So it’s not like it’ll be crazy early. We’re fine.”

“Okay,” Stone says, although he’s still a little doubtful, especially about his presence – maybe Ed’s mom is cool with her son dropping by occasionally, but he doubts she likes him to bring his grungy friends. “Are you sure you don’t want to call or something first? Because we still can.”

“Stone, it’s like four,” Eddie says with a laugh. “She really would be mad if I called her right now.”

“Okay, okay,” Stone says reluctantly. “Just don’t want to spend the night in my car.”

“Too late for that,” Eddie says, and Stone laughs. “Don’t worry, she’ll let us stay. She’s very much a mom.”

“I believe you,” Stone says. “You know, by the time we get there we’ll have been up for almost twenty four hours.”

“Trust me, I know,” Eddie says, rubbing his eyes. “I think I’m gonna let myself sleep for a little while, if you don’t mind?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Stone says. He figures talking to Eddie is only making him slightly less drowsy anyway. Eddie nods.

“Sweet,” he says again, and Stone hides his smirk. “Wake me up when you get too tired and I’ll drive.”

“Sweet,” Stone mimics, and Eddie shoots him a dirty look before he settles down and lets his eyes close. Stone turns his focus to the road.

“Hey, Eddie,” he says, thoughtfully, and then winces when he remembers Ed’s trying to sleep.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, opening his eyes just enough to squint at Stone curiously. Stone shakes his head.

“I wanted to talk about something…” he starts, but chickens out. “Your mom’s not a bitch, right?”

“Only sometimes,” Eddie says with a half-smile, and closes his eyes again. Stone sighs and settles back into the seat.

It’s going to be a long drive.

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Eleven: Chris's POV

A/N: New chapter! Sorry it’s so late :( This is kinda short so I’ll try to post the next one quickly.

TW for panic attacks and vomiting.

Chris wakes up in a bed he instantly recognizes as Jeff’s – he’s spent a lot of drunken nights crashing at Jeff’s when he couldn’t make it home. He rolls over, still a little disoriented, and sees Jeff sleeping on the floor next to the bed, wrapped in an overlarge flannel shirt.

“Jeff,” he mumbles, stretching his arm out and poking Jeff lightly. “Jeff.” He’s aching all over, his head is pounding, and he already feels nauseated, but he also feels like he might die if he doesn’t get some water. “Jeff!”

“Ungh,” Jeff groans. “What, Chris?”

“I need some water,” Chris says, and his throat is so dry he can barely stand to talk. Jeff doesn’t move. “Jeff, I need some water!”

“Jesus,” Jeff mutters, pushing himself up drowsily. “Fine, hang on.”

Chris slowly sinks back down into the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut. It occurs to him that his shirt is totally soaked in sweat, and he sits up suddenly to take it off and nearly vomits at the spike of pain in his head. Since when had he become such a lightweight?

Jeff returns a minute later with a glass of water and Chris gulps it down desperately, savoring the cool relief on his parched throat, before he gags and throws it up on Jeff’s sheets. Granted, it seems to be pretty much entirely water, but Jeff still lets out a furious, “What the hell, man?!” and Chris groans a little and eases himself back down; his arms are weak and he can feel them trembling violently under his weight.

Jeff stomps over and yanks the sheets off, glaring at Chris, and Chris shivers violently at the sudden cold. “I’m not supposed to have hangovers this bad anymore,” he says to no one in particular, and Jeff shoots him a look.

“Well, you just puked on my sheets, so deal with it,” Jeff snaps. Chris mumbles a half-hearted “sorry,” reprimanded, and Jeff leaves to put the sheets in the wash. Chris curls up in a ball and doesn’t move until he feels Jeff tapping his shoulder.

“You okay?” Jeff asks reluctantly, and Chris thinks he might get sick again if he nods so he forces out a quiet “yes” and that seems to satisfy him. After a minute or two Jeff taps his shoulder again and Chris reluctantly opens his eyes.

“What?” he mumbles, and Jeff sets a massive Tupperware down in front of him on the bed, obscuring his view.

“Throw up in this if you can’t make it to the bathroom,” he instructs, and Chris tries to convey without moving or speaking that he understands. Thankfully, Jeff doesn’t seem to care.

“Okay,” he says, “are you okay for a while? I need to go feed Eddie’s cat.”

“Yuh,” Chris grunts, and immediately squeezes his eyes shut when Jeff flips on the lights.

“Sorry,” Jeff says, not sounding very sorry. “I have to find my keys.”

Chris doesn’t bother responding – in fact, he’s starting to drift off when Jeff finally turns the lights off again. He feels the bed dip suddenly and figures Jeff must have sat down on it.

“Listen, Chris,” Jeff starts, and sure enough, his voice is closer than before and grating as hell. “I’m guessing you’re too hungover to talk about it right now. And I know I don’t normally – do this kind of thing,” he says, sounding incredibly embarrassed. “But this is getting to be a problem, Chris. I’m serious.”

Chris’s brain takes a minute or two to understand that, and even then he can’t think of an intelligent response, so he just stays quiet.

“Okay,” Jeff says after a minute, quietly. He sounds disappointed. “See you in a bit.”

“’Kay,” Chris croaks out, and feels Jeff get up. For a minute he listens to Jeff’s footsteps receding, and then the door slamming behind him, and then he slowly, painfully pushes himself up, stopping every time he starts to feel queasy. As sick as he may be, there’s no way he’s just laying around in Jeff’s apartment until Jeff gets back just to be lectured. Besides, he wants to be there if Stone – or Eddie – tries to call him. Slowly, painfully, he struggles to his feet.

Chris wakes up to the sound of someone yelling his name and smacking him in the face; he blinks a few times to clear his eyes and sees that it’s Jeff.

“Wha’?” he mumbles, wincing at the pain in his head, and Jeff stops instantly.

“Chris! Jesus, I thought –” he blurts, and hugs Chris tightly, scaring him half to death.

“What the fuck,” he mutters, weakly trying to push Jeff off. “Where am I?”

“My hallway,” Jeff says, sitting back and seeming a little embarrassed. “I guess you passed out trying to get to the bathroom or something, I found you laying face down, right there, totally still…” His voice trails off and Chris figures out why he hugged him.

“Oh,” he says, and throws up again. Jeff groans in disgust and scoots back so he doesn’t get hit.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters. “Remind me to never be worried about you again.”

“It’s just water,” Chris groans out. His head hurts so bad he thinks he might pass out again. “Got any Oxy?”

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Jeff says, getting up. “Hang on, I still have to clean up your puke.”

“Jeff,” Chris pleads shakily. Jeff sighs.

“Fine,” he says. “One sec.”

Chris lays his head back down in the vomit puddle and lets his eyes rest for a minute until he hears Jeff swear loudly above him.

“That’s fucking disgusting,” Jeff says when Chris opens his eyes drowsily, but he’s too tired and sick to move. After a minute he feels Jeff pulling him up and he allows himself to be dragged to the bathtub. Jeff dumps him inside, a little roughly, and Chris groans in pain. Jeff takes pity and hands him the baggy of Oxy, thank God, and Chris dry swallows all of them.

“Don’t take that many, the last thing I need is the lead singer of Soundgarden dying in my bathtub,” Jeff mutters, but Chris doesn’t bother answering. It’s Jeff’s own fault for bringing him to his house.

“I gotta get back to my house,” he says, and starts to sit up before he gets slapped in the face with his own vomit-y hair. “Jesus,” he mutters in disgust, and Jeff eases him back down before he abruptly flips on the shower, ice cold. Chris yelps in shock and then winces at the noise, and Jeff looks smug.

“This is your fault,” he reminds Chris, and it hits Chris so hard he almost throws up again. He feels his chest tightening and his stomach turns over, and he frantically scrambles up and out of the bathtub, trying to get out of the water. He’s already struggling to breathe.

“Jesus, what’s wrong?” Jeff demands, his voice slightly higher.

“I – I can’t – I can’t breathe,” Chris wheezes out, shaking his hands out frantically and trying to make Jeff understand. “I can’t –”

“Okay, calm down,” Jeff says, gently but a little awkwardly. Chris shakes his head, panicked.

“Jeff,” he moans, gasping helplessly for air, and Jeff pats his arm unhelpfully. Chris shakes his head, and stumbles back a little; his vision is filled with black spots and his head feels light. He distantly hears Jeff saying “woah,” and all of a sudden he’s on the floor, leaned over and heaving desperately.

“Okay,” Jeff says from somewhere behind him, and he feels a hand rubbing his back. “Okay, just try to breathe slowly, okay? Uh, shit,” he mutters. Chris squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a noise of agitation, but he can feel the intense pressure in his chest easing up a little and it’s not so hard to breathe. He still stays like that, on his hands and knees, and pants heavily as he recovers for a few minutes, Jeff’s hand heavy on his back.

“Okay,” Jeff says, sounding a little scared, and Chris lets out a shaky breath and sits back. “Are you good now?”

Chris nods weakly, exhausted. “Shit,” he whispers, letting his eyes drift shut. Jeff pats his back awkwardly and finally drops his hand.

“Whoo,” Jeff breathes out, wiping his forehead. “Okay. I’m gonna go… call Stone.”

“Stone’s driving to California,” Chris tells his back, and Jeff mumbles something incomprehensible and doesn’t stop. Chris exhales and buries his head in his hands, letting a few shaky sobs escape before he feels himself starting to get panicky and forces himself to calm down and breathe slowly.

“Jeff,” he calls out shakily, but Jeff doesn’t answer so he just sits on the bathroom floor until he can’t stand it anymore. He pushes himself up and grabs the wall, regaining his balance for a minute before he starts down the hallway.

To his surprise Chris can actually hear Jeff talking on the phone to someone, although he can’t tell who. He quietly unlocks the door and slips out before Jeff can notice. It occurs to him as he starts walking towards home that he doesn’t have a car and he’s still hungover as fuck. He manages to walk almost a full block before he gets lightheaded and has to kneel on the sidewalk for a minute to regain his balance; he’s still kneeling there when a battered yet familiar green truck pulls up next to him, and Chris doesn’t bother glancing over before he struggles to his feet and walks around to get in the passenger’s side.

“Hey, Chris,” Kim says, turning the radio down slightly as he peels out. “Heading home after your ‘special night’ with Jeff?”

“Ha, ha,” Chris mutters, and turns the radio down more. His head is pounding.

“Nice bandage,” Kim quips, gesturing at Chris’s head. “Aren’t you supposed to not get those wet?”

“Maybe,” Chris says. He doesn’t feel like talking. Kim finally glances over and raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Is Cornell hungover?” he asks lightly. “I thought you were immune.”

“Apparently not,” Chris snaps, laying his head back on the headrest and staring out the window intently. Kim doesn’t seem to get the message.

“Hey, this is rare, you can’t expect me not to milk it,” he says sarcastically. “Are you actually going home, by the way?”

Chris exhales heavily. “Yes,” he says, a little painfully. He’s still trying not to look at Kim.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking about the whole hiatus thing,” Kim says after a moment, sounding slightly unsure. “I’ve been thinking… I know Matt is doing that whole Mookie Blaylock thing now. I think we should –”

“Make it permanent,” Chris finishes for him because he knows what Kim will say, already feeling that familiar sense of numb detachment.

“What?” Kim whips his head around to stare at Chris in horror. “You want to break up the band?”

“I – what?” Chris suddenly feels a little dizzy at the rush of emotions. “You don’t?”

“No, of course not!” Kim says, still clearly horrified. “I was going to say it was time to end the hiatus, not the band! What the fuck, Chris?!”

“I – I don’t know,” Chris whispers, almost inaudible even to his own ears. “I thought that was what you were going to say, I didn’t – I don’t–"

“Okay,” Kim says after a second, rubbing his eyes. “So you don’t actually think we should break up?”

“No, I mean,” Chris is starting to get short of breath and he really needs to calm himself down, “I thought that’s what you guys wanted. Because of – me. I wanted to stay a band, I didn’t even want a break, I just agreed because I thought you guys needed to – Kim I really can’t breathe,” he blurts and Kim immediately pulls over, glancing over in concern.

“Are you having an anxiety attack?” he asks alertly, because he’s used to Chris’s antics, and Chris grips his knees and drops his head, taking deep, shaky breaths. Kim rubs his shoulders, like he has a million times before, and Chris closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling until he feels the intense pressure in his chest begin to ease up.

“I’m okay,” he breathes out after a few minutes, and Kim nods but doesn’t start driving again.

“Has this been happening a lot?” he asks, clearly trying to sound less worried than he is. Chris winces in guilt.

“No,” he lies, “just a normal amount.”

“Okay,” Kim says doubtfully, “because normally it takes a lot more.”

“Oh,” Chris says, suddenly incredibly embarrassed. He is being kind of a pussy. “Sorry.”

“No, that’s – not the point,” Kim mutters, and Chris can tell he’s disappointed even though he’s not sure why.

“Sorry,” he says again, quieter, and Kim just shakes his head and starts driving again.

“So – the band,” he says, and Chris nods quickly. “You want to end the hiatus, right?”

“Yes,” Chris says instantly, and then realizes that was too fast. “If everyone else wants to, obviously.”

“I do,” Kim says. “I know Ben does, I already asked him. It’s just Matt we have to talk to, because he’s doing the Mookie Blaylock thing.”

“Okay,” Chris says, although he knows Matt won’t come back when he could be in a band with Eddie instead. Besides, even if he would come back, he couldn’t do that to Eddie – or Stone, or Jeff, or Mike.

“So… let’s go talk to him,” Kim says, like it’s obvious.

“Right now?” Chris says. He’d thought he would have more time to come up with an excuse.

“Stone and what’s-his-face are in California, Jeff’s recovering from your rough barebacking – this is the perfect time to talk to him, when they’re not there to convince him to stay.”

“I didn’t fuck Jeff,” Chris mutters, like it matters. Kim is looking at him expectantly. “That doesn’t seem really fair, anyway,” he adds hesitantly. Kim raises his eyebrows.

“Chris, he was in our band first,” he says forcefully. “They poached him from us, it’s not like we’re stealing one of their founding members.”

“…Okay,” Chris says, because he really misses being in a band. Eddie can always find another drummer.

“Sweet,” Kim says, grinning at him, and Chris smiles a little too even though his head is still pounding and he’s sweating a ridiculous amount considering how cold he is. “To Matt’s house.”

“To Matt’s,” Chris mutters, shooting Kim a tiny smile. Kim beams back, and Chris is finally starting to feel like things are right again.

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Ten: Eddie's POV

A/N: Here's the next chapter, on time as promised! TW for brief discussions of self harm and a panic attack. Please leave a comment or send an ask & let me know what you think!!

Eddie is getting really sick of driving – more specifically, Eddie is getting really sick of Stone’s driving. Stone drives like an excessively cautious old person, and Eddie doesn’t think he can stand going this slow another minute.

“Stone,” he says finally, trying to sound polite. “Do you think you could drive a little faster?”

“Faster than I am right now? Are you trying to get us killed?” Stone says, not even looking over. Eddie bites back a groan.

“We’re going pretty slow,” he says casually, and Stone smiles slightly and shakes his head.

“Better safe than sorry,” he says, and Eddie nearly strangles him.

“Stone, you drive like an old lady,” he says through clenched teeth. Stone looks over in surprise.

“I’m driving safely,” he says, clearly offended. “Sorry if you’re used to being reckless and not caring about dying, but I’m not doing that.”

“I was just kidding,” Eddie mumbles, hurt. He wasn’t kidding, exactly, but he wasn’t entirely serious either and he definitely wasn’t expecting Stone to get mad.

“Sorry,” Stone says after a pause. “I don’t really like driving.”

“Oh,” Eddie says in surprise. “I can drive for a while, if you want,” he offers.

“No, that’s okay,” Stone says. “No offense – I trust you and all – but I can’t really afford to get a new car so I’d rather be the one driving so I can be extra careful.”

“Understandable,” Eddie says, nodding. “If I had a car I’d probably never use it just to keep it nice.”

Stone laughs a little. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel,” he says. “But I’m one of the only people with cars that I know, so I end up giving people rides a lot. It’s fine,” he adds quickly, seeing Eddie open his mouth to apologize, “I don’t mind, but I have to drive pretty carefully. So sorry if it’s annoying.” He adds the last part quieter and Eddie feels a little guilty.

“No, that’s fine,” he says. “I don’t mind going slow, I was mostly kidding anyway.”

Stone smiles like he knows Eddie’s lying, but he doesn’t say anything else for a while. Finally he remarks, “I should probably call Chris again the next time we stop. He seemed a little upset over the phone.”

“Really?” Eddie sounds worried. “I thought you said he was fine, maybe I should’ve talked to him after all.”

“Chris is always gonna have problems, and it’ll just exhaust you if you try to put aside your feelings to help him,” Stone reminds him. “Anyway, he said he was fine, but I heard some weird thumping or something and I think he was doing that thing again.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, like he knows what Stone means. “Uh, what thing?”

“You know how he was slamming his head on the steering wheel?” Stone asks, and Eddie can feel the color draining from his face. If he caused Chris to do that again –

“He does that kind of thing a lot, like hits himself in the face or scratches his arms or something, when he’s really upset,” Stone explains. “Don’t tell him I told you that,” he adds quickly, and Eddie nods numbly.

“So he was doing – that – because of me?” Eddie says. He thinks he might throw up. Stone looks over quickly.

“Eddie, it’s not your fault,” he says kindly. “He fucked up, and he feels guilty. You didn’t do anything.”

“But I refused to talk to him,” Eddie says miserably. Stone shakes his head.

“There is always something that will upset him, but in the end, unless you do something clearly horrible, it’s him getting upset because either he started it or it reminds him of something or – or something, but it’s usually not your fault. That’s something you’ll learn over time, if you keep knowing him,” Stone says seriously. Eddie sighs.

“Yeah,” he says, because he still feels guilty. “I’ll talk to him when you call, by the way.”

Stone sighs and Eddie can tell he’s disappointed, but thankfully he doesn’t say anything about it, just utters a tired “okay” and nothing else.

It’s a good two hours before they decide to stop again, and Eddie immediately feels sick thinking about Chris. As soon as Stone calls him on the restaurant’s landline, Eddie puts it on speaker, ignoring a disapproving look from Stone as he listens to it ring.

“Hello?” a girl’s voice asks, and Eddie doesn’t recognize her voice but Stone’s jaw literally drops as he stares at Eddie with wide eyes. Eddie shrugs, uncomprehending.

“…Susan?” Stone asks disbelievingly, and Eddie vaguely recognizes the name as Chris’s ex-wife – or maybe she’s still his wife, he can’t remember. “What are you doing at Chris’s?”

“Stone,” Susan says, and she sounds relieved. “Thank God. Listen, I don’t know where you’re calling from, but you need to get over here.”

“Susan, I’m in Oregon,” Stone says, still looking a little shell-shocked. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“Shit,” Susan says. “I have a meeting in twenty minutes and then I have to pick up Lily from daycare and I can’t leave him alone, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“What?” Stone says. “Susan, what happened? Why are you at Chris’s house?”

“It was hardly by choice,” Susan says snappishly. “Chris came over to my house, drunk out of his mind and ranting about some girl he likes – Betty, maybe? I don’t remember, but he’s really upset and really drunk and he keeps saying he wants it all to stop – listen, I can’t stay here, you need to send someone over.”

“Ah, fuck,” Stone mutters. “I’ll call Jeff, okay? Wait for him to arrive before you leave.”

“Jesus Christ,” Susan says. “Fine. I forgot how much babysitting I had to do with Chris, how the fuck do you stand him? I mean, honestly, Stone –”

Stone slams the phone down. “Bitch,” he spits out, and then takes a deep breath and starts dialing Jeff’s number.

“What was that?” Eddie asks hesitantly. “Is Chris gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine,” Stone says distractedly. “Sometimes we just have to make sure he isn’t alone, just as a precaution.”

“But it’s a precaution, so nothing’s happened,” Eddie insists, and Stone shrugs.

“Hey, Jeff,” he says into the phone, and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know you don’t want to talk to me. Listen, you have to go over to Chris’s for a while, or bring him to your place. Yeah. Yeah, he’s really drunk. Susan’s there – I know. She’s a bitch. But she has to leave, so I would hurry. Okay, bye.” He puts the phone down and sighs heavily, turning to Eddie. “I’m sorry, Eddie,” he says, and Eddie quickly shakes his head.

“No, no, that’s fine,” he says, not even sure what Stone’s apologizing for. Stone smiles slightly.

“You’re really nice, Eddie,” he says, and Eddie flushes. “And you shouldn’t be caught up in all of this.”

“If I stay friends with Chris, that’s my choice,” Eddie reminds him cautiously, trying not to sound rude. “I’m not getting caught up if I choose it.”

“Yeah, true,” Stone says. “I don’t know, it’s like a fucking soap opera around here.” He rubs his eyes. “Honestly, Chris isn’t that bad. He isn’t like this most of the time, it’s just kind of a rough patch for him and I guess I’m just a little worn out.” He glances at Eddie guiltily. “And I get frustrated with him because he’s so needy sometimes, but he really is going through a lot right now.”

“That makes sense,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t really know what to say. “And it’s fine to get sick of taking care of him,” he adds after a minute, because Stone still seems unhappy. Stone nods a little.

“I think I’m just a little burned out,” he says with a weak smile, and then he takes a deep breath and visibly perks up. “Okay, let’s start driving again.”

Eddie notices the change with concern, but decides it’s better to just not say anything. He silently follows Stone out to the car and climbs in, still worrying about Chris. What if Jeff’s car breaks down and Susan can’t wait anymore? Or what if Jeff decided not to come at all?

“Chris will be fine,” Stone says abruptly, making Eddie jump. “He’s tough, he’ll make it.”

“Tough?” Eddie says, trying not sound disbelieving. He likes Chris, but he seems like a wreck.

Stone laughs slightly. “I don’t know, maybe he’s not that tough. It’s just… Chris has survived a lot, and he’s still going and mostly okay.”

“I see what you mean, I guess,” Eddie says, because he does. “Some people can survive a lot, even if they aren’t exactly… doing well.”

“Exactly,” Stone says. “Chris can survive anything.”

Eddie nods even though he doesn’t necessarily see that. “Yeah, I guess,” he says, and decides to just not think about it. He glances at Stone. “Let’s talk about something else,” he says. Stone smiles slightly and nods.

“Okay,” he says, “what?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie says, laughing a little. He hadn’t thought that far into it.

“Twenty questions,” Stone says, grinning. “Like middle school.”

“Okay, but you have to go first,” Eddie says quickly, since he hasn’t actually ever played twenty questions. He didn’t have that many friends in school.

“Hmm,” Stone says, looking at him with a goofy expression. “I’ll start easy. Favorite color. Go.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, a little surprised that the questions can be that simple. “Um, teal, I guess. Right now anyway.”

“That’s a good color,” Stone says approvingly, smirking a little. “Your turn.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Uh...” He frowns, trying to think of something not lame. “Do you have a girlfriend?” He blushes immediately, realizing he sounds like an immature teenager, but Stone stops smiling instantly and goes pale.

“Nope,” he chokes out, refusing to look at Eddie. “No girlfriend, definitely not.”

“Okay,” Eddie says, wondering if maybe Stone had a bad relationship or something. “It’s your turn now, right?”

“Yeah,” Stone says, clearly his throat and shifting. “Okay, what’s your favorite band?”

“The Who,” Eddie says, before Stone’s even finished talking. Stone lets out a surprised laugh at his enthusiasm.

“So I see,” he says, smiling again. Eddie flushes slightly.

“I’m a little obsessed,” he mumbles. “Okay, my turn. Uh, middle name?”

Stone turns bright red. “Carpenter,” he says without looking at Eddie. “I know, my parents were hippies.”

Eddie laughs. “It’s not that bad,” he says. Stone laughs and shakes his head.

“Favorite hobby,” he says. “Music doesn’t count.”

“Surfing,” Eddie says instantly. Stone rolls his eyes.

“Should’ve predicted that,” he says. “Cowabunga, duuude.”

“Haha, you’re so hilarious,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling despite himself. Stone glances over and grins.

“Your turn,” he reminds Eddie, and Eddie nods, trying to think of something. “Favorite… kind of juice,” he says, and immediately he can feel his face burning. Stone has the good grace not to make fun of him.

“Cranberry,” he says promptly. “Apple juice is fucking disgusting.”

Eddie smiles, still embarrassed. “I like it.”

“Of course you do,” Stone says, smirking. “Okay, my turn. Um… what’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”

“Oh,” Eddie says, because he knows it’s joining the band and getting out of California but he doesn’t want to sound that enthusiastic when he knows it’s not reciprocated. “I… don’t know.”

“Come on, think,” Stone prompts. “You have to have an answer.”

“I don’t know, maybe joining the band or something,” Eddie mumbles, suddenly feeling humiliated. He does his best not to look at Stone.

“Eddie, that’s so nice,” Stone says sincerely, and Eddie flushes, staring at his shoes. “We’re really, really happy to have you here, too.” Eddie nods, still ashamed, and Stone touches his arm. “I’m serious, Ed,” he says, and Eddie finally glances over. Stone’s never called him that. “After Andy… died, everything was just… dark. And it was hard to see… I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath, smiling slightly and shaking his head. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re the best thing to happen to this band, too. To us,” he blurts quickly, and Eddie stares at him in shock. This whole time he’s been waiting for them to admit that they don’t like him as much as they thought and send him away – them actually liking him was the last thing that would’ve ever occurred to him.

“I… thanks,” he mutters, quickly wiping his eyes and hoping Stone doesn’t notice. Stone smiles.

“We’re a bunch of fucking pansies,” he says, laughing, and Eddie grins too, feeling substantially more relaxed. “Anyway, it’s your turn.”

“Oh, okay,” Eddie croaks, clearing his throat quickly. “Uh… dogs or cats?”

“This is a really unpopular opinion, but I like both,” Stone says. “Maybe dogs a little more.”

“Me too, I think,” Eddie says, watching a hitchhiker out the window. “Your turn.”

“Shit, I’m running out of questions,” Stone laughs. “Let me think… fuck!” he yells out, swerving violently. Eddie yells out too, feeling his heart in his throat.

“What the fuck was that?” he yells out, gripping the armrests. Stone’s face is stark white.

“I – I thought I saw something,” he murmurs, seeming a little dazed. “Eddie, can you drive?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Eddie says, watching him in concern. After a minute he adds, “You have to pull over.”

“Yeah,” Stone says, and he does. Eddie hops out and walks around, opening the door for Stone. Stone’s legs buckle slightly and he grabs the front of Eddie’s shirt; Eddie quickly catches Stone and helps him sit back down.

“Stone, what happened?” Eddie asks concernedly. Stone buries his head in his hands and takes deep breaths and Eddie can tell he’s trying to calm down. After a minute he raises his head.

“I… I thought it was Andy,” he whispers, his voice ashamed. Eddie frowns a little.

“But Andy’s…” he stops, not wanting to be rude. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, he just looked kind of similar and for a second I forgot…” Stone’s voice trails off miserably and he stares at the ground.

“Oh,” Eddie says, suddenly understanding. “Yeah, uh… sometimes I think I see my dad,” he admits. Stone looks up in surprise.

“Ed, I’m sorry,” he says, sounding a little ashamed. “Sometimes I guess I forget I’m not the only one who’s lost someone.”

“No, that’s – you didn’t do anything,” Eddie says, a little confused. “There’s nothing wrong with being upset.” Stone nods, wiping his eyes miserably, and Eddie feels a stab of sympathy.

“I guess I’m kind of a mess too,” Stone mutters dejectedly, and Eddie pulls him up and into a hug – rather boldly, for him, but he feels bad for Stone. Stone leans into him for a moment before he takes a shaky breath and straightens up again.

“I’m okay now,” he says firmly, wiping his eyes and nodding a little like he’s trying to convince himself. Eddie watches him in both concern and awe. “I think I can keep driving.”

“That’s okay, I’d rather drive for a while anyway, I’m getting bored,” Eddie lies, because Stone is still obviously upset and as much as he likes Stone, he doesn’t necessarily trust him to not swerve off the road and kill them. Thankfully, Stone doesn’t put up much of a fight.

They drive in silence for a good hour or two before Eddie’s thoughts drift back to Chris, and what happened last night. He glances cautiously at Stone and wonders if he’s doing better, but doesn’t ask. He doesn’t seem especially upset, at least.

“Hey,” Eddie says finally, “do you want to stop and check up on Jeff and Chris?” because he does and he’s started to get stressed about it. Stone just shrugs.

“Sure, that’s fine,” he says, sounding a little down. “We might as well get some food or something too.”

“Okay, cool,” Eddie says, pulling off the highway towards a Denny’s. Ten minutes later, Stone is reciting Jeff’s number while Eddie dials it, since apparently they’re kind of fighting. “Hello?” he asks, and there’s a moment of fuzz on the end before he hears Jeff responding.

“Hello? Stone?”

“No, this is Eddie,” Eddie says, feeling a little embarrassed suddenly. “How’s – everything – going?”

“I don’t know,” Jeff says tensely. “Listen, can you please put Stone on?”

Eddie glances at Stone, who shakes his head. “He’s not really feeling well,” Eddie says, although he’s not really sure if it’s accurate or not. “Is Chris okay? What’s going on?”

“I don’t really know why Stone called me to come over,” Jeff confesses. “Chris seems fine, I’ve just been waiting for you guys to call me so I could make sure I’m not missing something.”

“He seems – fine? Like totally fine?” Eddie asks, confused.

“I mean, as fine as Chris gets,” Jeff quips, and Eddie shakes his head disapprovingly. Jeff’s voice gets more serious. “I don’t know, man, he’s just been sitting on the couch watching the city. I mean, he seems pretty drunk, but he’s had like two bottles of vodka since I arrived so I’m not surprised.”

“Jeff, he was already drunk,” Eddie groans.

“Oh,” Jeff says. “Shit. Well, Chris has a really high tolerance, he can really drink a lot, like you’d be really impressed. I once saw him throw back three twelve packs and he was still trying to get more, but Stone and I wouldn’t let him –”

“Jeff,” Eddie interrupts forcefully. “Do not let him drink any more vodka, okay? He was already extremely drunk, like extremely drunk. Jesus Christ, that’s something like five bottles of wine.”

“I don’t think it’s that much,” Jeff says doubtfully. “It’s probably like half that for him anyway, he’s been an alcoholic since fuckin’ elementary school.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Eddie says, a little too angrily, and he forces himself to stop and breathe. Stone is frowning at him. “Look, just don’t let him drink anymore, alright? Does he seem okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jeff says, sounding a little embarrassed. “I don’t know, he won’t say anything. Like at all. But he’s still awake and everything, and he doesn’t seem super upset or anything, just really, really drowsy and – drunk.”

“Okay,” Eddie says, trying not to let himself get too stressed out. “I think you should stay with him, just in case.”

“Eddie,” Jeff says, in a voice that makes it sound like he’s trying to say something rude politely. “You don’t know Chris. Stone and I do, and we know what he’s like. Drunk or sober.”

Eddie feels like he’s been hit in the stomach, because Jeff is right. He doesn’t know Chris, at all really, and he’s pretty sure they’re not even friends. He can’t help but wince in humiliation at the thought of all of them witnessing him worrying over Chris like a clingy girlfriend, especially considering how recently they’ve met. After a second he beckons to Stone and Stone takes the phone, glancing at him in concern. Eddie shakes his head and goes to order food while Stone and Jeff finish talking.

Ten minutes later, Stone sits down next to him and picks up a fry. “I convinced Jeff to wait and see how he is in an hour,” he says, studying Eddie. Eddie shifts a little uncomfortably. “You know Chris is a pretty difficult person to know,” he adds kindly. “I still don’t really know him that well, and neither does Jeff. Honestly, Andy was really the only person who’s gotten through to him.”

“Oh,” Eddie says politely, because he’s getting a little sick of being compared to Andy but he doesn’t want to sound insensitive or ungrateful. “I’m really not upset about that, I swear. Just a little… embarrassed, I guess.” He has no idea why he’s being truthful to Stone, but thankfully Stone doesn’t make fun of him.

“Why?” is all he asks, taking another fry. Eddie hesitates, thinking about it.

“I don’t know, I guess – I kind of – haven’t had a lot of friends, I guess. Just because I can’t talk to people,” he adds quickly. Stone nods. “When I meet new people who seem to like me, sometimes I get… clingy,” he mumbles, mortified. Stone glances at him sympathetically. “And it scares them off, I guess… someone told me I was once and it was kind of this big thing that involved a lot of people and it was – really humiliating,” he explains, and tries not to look at Stone. “I try to be careful about it now and not do that but sometimes, in hindsight, I realize I have been and I know that’s what I’m doing with Chris.”

“I know what you mean,” Stone says after a pause. “I mean, I’ve never had that problem myself, but I understand the feeling.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, although he’s even more mortified that Stone has apparently never been clingy.

“Listen, don’t worry about it,” Stone says sympathetically. “Chris is kind of like that too – in a weird way. Like, he gets pretty emotionally clingy but then a lot of times he’s really withdrawn and distant.” He takes a deep breath. “The point is, it’s not going to bother him. In fact, he’s so wrapped up in his own problems he probably won’t even notice. And I know he can seem a little distant and cold or whatever, but he really is nice, and I’m sure he’d understand.”

“I know,” Eddie says gratefully. “But that’s not really the problem – it’s just, I feel like everyone sees me as this weird newbie who’s clinging onto everyone who will talk to me, you know?” He exhales, realizing he’s starting to feel a little sick, and decides to change the subject. “These fries are pretty good, huh?” he comments weakly. Stone is staring at him.

“Eddie,” he says after a minute, “has anyone been – giving you shit? About being the new guy?”

“No,” Eddie says quickly – too fast. He sighs heavily when Stone’s eyebrows go up. “Just a couple of comments, it’s not a big deal,” he mumbles. Stone looks furious.

“Who the fuck was it?” he demands. Eddie cringes and decides he might as well just tell him.

“You know Chris took me out to that really shitty bar and had me meet those guys from Alice in Chains, Layne and Jerry,” he starts, but Stone interrupts him.

“They were rude to you?” he demands. “I guess I could see that from Jerry, he can get pretty moody, but Layne is so sweet.”

“No, not them,” Eddie corrects quickly. “But there was kind of a larger group of people who I guess knew them who kept coming over and some of them were pretty… I don’t know. There were just a couple of comments, that’s all,” he finishes, suddenly ashamed, feeling like that one kid who always cries and tattles to the teacher because he can’t handle being teased.

Stone looks pissed. “Did you catch any names?” he asks sharply, and Eddie shakes his head instantly. The last thing he needs is those people having permanent grudge against him.

“I think it’ll just take a while for me to fit in, that’s all,” he says, and Stone makes a noise of dissatisfaction but apparently decides to just let it go.

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Stone suddenly swears loudly and throws down his fries. Eddie jumps.

“What?” he asks, half annoyed and half concerned. Stone just shakes his head.

“Uh, nothing,” he says, obviously distressed. “I just realized I forgot something kind of important.”

“Oh…?” Eddie says, because he has no idea what Stone means. “That sucks.” Stone nods distractedly and a few more minutes pass before he gets up with another curse. Eddie glances over, startled.

“I gotta go make a call,” Stone says. “It’s kinda personal,” he adds after a second, like he’s afraid Eddie might follow him. Eddie just nods; he hadn’t planned on getting up anyway. Stone is still standing there, looking down at him.

“What?” Eddie asks finally, a little irritated. Stone bites his lip, hesitating.

“Can you go wait outside?” he asks finally. Eddie stares at him disbelievingly.

“Really?” he says, trying not to sound rude. “The phone’s kinda far away. And if it’s that personal, you’re gonna have to empty the whole restaurant.”

“Eddie, please,” Stone says, and he looks so upset Eddie gets up and troops outside, leaving the fries. They weren’t that great, anyway.

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Nine: Chris's POV

A/N: Sorry for the wait! This chapter is super short, so I'll post the next one asap. Also, I didn't feel like proofreading, so forgive any mistakes!

Chris is panicking. He calls Eddie five times before he remembers he left for California at like five, and then he tries calling Stone and finally Jeff, who answers but doesn’t know anything except that Eddie has a cat he’s supposed to feed later.

At least, that was all he knew ten minutes ago – maybe he knew more now, maybe Stone had called him from wherever there were and mentioned Eddie –? Chris grabs the phone and is about to start dialing when it rings in his hand. He answers instantly.

“Chris?” comes a muffled voice. Chris lets out a sigh of relief – it’s Stone.

“Hey,” he croaks out. There’s a pause.

“You okay?” Stone asks cautiously. Chris nods before he remembers Stone can’t see him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he lies. “You’re with Eddie, right? Has he, uh, said anything? About me?”

There’s another pause, and then –

“You’re an ass, Christopher,” Stone sighs, and Chris winces.

“I know,” he says. “Listen, is Eddie really mad? Can I talk to him? I don’t really remember everything.”

“You screamed at him and threw a remote at his head when he wouldn’t bring you more beer,” Stone says. Chris screw his eyes shut and hits himself in the face a few times, hard, before he remembers he has to answer.

“I – shit,” he says, and can’t think of anything else to say. “Shit,” he says again.

“Hang on, Chris,” Stone says, and there’s muffled voices for a minute while Chris sits and waits, furiously scratching his leg through a hole in his jeans. He barely manages to draw blood before Stone returns. “Listen, Eddie, uh, he doesn’t really want to talk to you. Sorry.”

“Oh,” Chris says numbly, his hand stilling. “Okay.”

“He says he’s not mad, he just isn’t ready to talk yet,” Stone says apologetically. “You’re okay, right?”

Chris hangs up without answering. At least Eddie isn’t mad, but there’s no point in talking to Stone and hearing about their stupid trip if Eddie isn’t his friend anymore. For a second he feels like a toddler for thinking of it like that, but then he doesn’t care. He decides to go buy more beer.

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Eight -- Stone's POV:

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I'll try to post the next chapter today as well. Please leave feedback!

Stone wakes up in Beth’s bed.

When he called her after practice, she’d told him she was about to talk to Eddie, and then when she called him again an hour later, she told him they were officially in the clear. Stone intends to take full advantage of that while they introduce the idea of them dating to Eddie. He’s just pondering how best to start with that when is suddenly occurs to him that he’s supposed to be driving Eddie to California right now.

“Shit,” Stone yelps, scrambling out of bed and throwing his clothes on. Eddie is probably calling his apartment like crazy, and he might even be there trying to figure out where he is – after all, he’s three whole hours late. He nearly drives off the road speeding back to his place, and he’s relieved for a minute when he doesn’t see a car in the driveway, until he remembers that Eddie doesn’t have a car. He sprints inside and unlocks the door so fast he scratches his hand with his keys. Stone bursts through the door –

– and sees Eddie sitting on the couch, rubbing his eyes tensely, his leg bouncing furiously. As soon as he sees Stone he jumps up.

“What happened, are you okay?” he demands, and Stone winces guiltily.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he says apologetically, trying to think of a good lie. “I – I went out last night, after you called, and I got, uh, really drunk. Passed out in my car. I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

Eddie looks horrified. “No, no, it’s fine. But –” he swallows hard, and Stone can feel his heart pounding. He just knows that somehow he’s been found out. After a minute Eddie speaks again and Stone braces himself. “Were you – were you upset because I made you think about Andy?” he blurts, and Stone freezes for a moment, processing, before he lets out a breath of relief.

“No – it wasn’t that, I’ve been a little down anyway,” he says, and it’s true. Eddie looks relieved.

“So… are you ready to go?” he asks hesitantly, and Stone nods.

“I have a bag in my room,” he says. “Where are we staying, by the way? Because I don’t really think I can pay for a hotel room and my car is a little cramped.”

“We can stay at my mom’s, I guess,” Eddie says reluctantly. Stone gets his bag.

“Okay,” he says, once they’ve started driving, “I mapped the route and it’s about eighteen and a half hours, and then we’ll be there. I was thinking before we’d be there by midnight, but now it’s looking more like three-ish – sorry again,” he adds. Eddie shakes his head dismissively and Stone goes on. “Here’s the map –” he passes the carefully folded paper to Eddie and Eddie fumbles to unfold it. “Most of the drive is on Interstate 5, so we won’t need that much.”

“Wow, you’ve really thought this out,” Eddie says, and he sounds guilty. Stone glances over quickly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, “I didn’t have anything better to do.” He thinks of Beth and cringes.

“Okay,” Eddie says, and hesitates again. “Have you talked to Chris since last night?”

“No, I was out,” Stone reminds him, and Eddie nods. “Have you?”

“I called him from your apartment around seven and he didn’t answer, but it was pretty early,” Eddie says, and Stone nods.

“He won’t be up for hours, even on a normal day,” Stone says. “I figured we could stop around noon and get lunch, so you could try calling him then.”

“I don’t know…” Eddie says, biting his lip. “Last night was pretty weird. But, you could call him,” he offers. Stone frowns.

“Maybe,” he says. “I think he’s mad at me.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that last night,” Eddie says. “What happened?”

“I – I don’t really know if I should tell you,” Stone says hesitantly. “I mean, it’s stupid. Really stupid, I’m not even sure what happened myself.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Eddie says quickly. “I wouldn’t want to pressure you or intrude or anything.”

“I think it’s okay,” Stone says, deciding he might as well tell him. Maybe Eddie can make some sense of it. “He was crying about his dad and I was just trying to comfort him and I – I don’t know, I just kissed the top of his head and he fucking freaked and made me leave. I guess it was a little weird, but I was just trying to calm him down.” Stone is suddenly embarrassed, and he hopes Eddie doesn’t think he’s weird.

“That’s really weird,” Eddie says, and Stone feels his face flush before he realizes Eddie’s talking about Chris. “I don’t know, maybe it’s because he’s getting a divorce or something, right? Like it made him think of that?”

“Maybe,” Stone says thoughtfully, thinking of what Chris told him about Susan hitting him. But why would he link that to Stone kissing the top of his head?

“It seems weird that it would set him off that much, though,” Eddie says. “Wouldn’t he be able to make a distinction between that, and even if he couldn’t, wouldn’t he be aware enough not to freak out?”

Stone hesitates, debating whether or not to tell Eddie. He knows he shouldn’t, but he’s getting so sick of keeping secrets from everyone. After a minute he says, “Eddie, you absolutely can’t tell Chris that I’m telling you this, okay? As far as he’s concerned you don’t know anything.”

“Okay…” Eddie says doubtfully. Stone takes a deep breath.

“His wife, Susan, was abusive, she was hitting him,” Stone says, and Eddie’s eyes widen. Stone’s relieved that Eddie is smart enough not to make a comment about Chris allowing it or being weak or something.

“Shit,” Eddie says quietly. “That’s… horrible.”

“Yeah,” Stone agrees. “The, uh, same thing happened with Andy, so it was pretty – upsetting, I guess, to find that out.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says quietly. Stone shakes his head a little.

“So maybe that could’ve reminded him of her and been somehow triggering,” he says, regretting bringing up Andy. Now he can’t stop thinking about it.

“That would make sense,” Eddie says, nodding. “Another explanation – well, is Chris… straight?”

Stone glances at him and confusion. “Aside from the drinking, yeah. As far as I know, anyway. But I know what it looks like when someone’s high, and he wasn’t.”

“No, no, I mean like – not gay,” Eddie says, blushing. Stone’s eyes widen.

“Oh,” he says, blinking. “I mean, he was married…”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, now completely red, “but some gay guys get married, I don’t know.”

Stone shrugs, still a little surprised. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Sometimes in movies…” Eddie looks so embarrassed it’s starting to make Stone uncomfortable himself. “If he liked you, maybe it would be weird…”

“Oh my God, Eddie,” Stone chokes out, with a stunned sort of laugh. “Chris does not have a gay crush on me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Eddie says quickly. “Just a thought.” He stares into his lap and Stone tries not to look at him, refusing to let himself ponder Eddie’s words. That would just be too weird, and besides, Chris isn’t the type.

They sit in silence for a while before Eddie finally blurts, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Stone jumps and looks over, his brain taking a minute to catch up with what Eddie is referring to. “Oh, that’s okay,” he says. Eddie nods.

“Do you have any music or anything?” he asks, and Stone nods.

“Right,” he says, “there’s a bunch of stuff in the glove compartment, just take your pick.”

After a minute of digging Eddie pulls out an old mixtape. “What’s on here?” he asks curiously, and Stone glances over; his stomach lurches and he swerves violently, making Eddie yelp.

“What was that?” he croaks out, pale, and Stone pulls over, shaking his head. He feels a little faint. “Stone, are you okay?” Eddie asks, and he puts the mixtape back, thank God. Stone closes his eyes and breathes hard for a moment before he opens them again and starts driving.

“Stone?” Eddie prompts cautiously, a few minutes later. Stone can only shake his head – he can't speak yet. Seeing the tape again – which he had very carefully buried so that he would never see it again – had a much stronger effect on him than he was expecting, after all this time.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks again, a few minutes later. Stone stares straight ahead and doesn’t answer for a minute.

“That –” he starts, and then chokes and can’t say it. He shakes his head again, feeling his eyes water, and he knows Eddie is watching him but he just keeps driving. Every minute passes achingly slow until he finally feels himself beginning to calm again, and he waits a few more minutes just to be sure before he speaks again. “That was our tape,” he says, because he can’t say the name, and Eddie looks over in surprise and then guilt.

“Stone, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” he says miserably. Stone takes an unsteady breath, suddenly exhausted.

“No, it’s okay,” he says shakily. “I have to face it sometime, right?” He feels himself tearing up again and blinks hard.

“Not until you’re ready, though,” Eddie says sincerely. “I really am sorry, Stone.”

“’S fine,” Stone mutters. He just wants to rest.

“Do you still want music?” Eddie asks tentatively, and Stone shrugs.

“Go for it,” he says, because he doesn’t care at all. The distraction might be nice, anyway.

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Radio?”

“No,” Stone says immediately, thinking of the last time he tried to listen to the radio in his car. Eddie looks at him in surprise and then shrugs.

“Hey, it’s Soundgarden,” he says, pulling out a battered CD. “Ultramega OK. Mind if I play this?”

“No, that’s fine,” Stone says distractedly. “That record’s from ’88, I think – a few years old.”

“Oh, cool,” Eddie says. “I’ve only heard a few of their songs, but I liked what I heard.”

“Yeah, they’re really good,” Stone remarks, a little jealously. “Chris is a fucking insane singer, too.”

Eddie shifts, a little uncomfortably, and Stone glances at him.

“You’re good too,” he reassures him, cracking a smile, and Eddie flushes.

“I wasn’t jealous,” he mumbles, but he still smiles at Stone’s words. He looks out the window and sighs loudly, and Stone glances at him curiously.

“What’s up?” he asks, and Eddie smiles slightly.

“It’s dumb,” he says, “but I’m – really excited to go surfing again.” His voice trails off into a mumble and Stone stares at him incredulously; he can hardly believe his ears.

“You’re a surfer?!” he chokes out, all thoughts of Andy forgotten, and Eddie flushes. “Oh my God, Eddie!”

“Yes, I’m a surfer,” Eddie mumbles, blushing furiously. Stone is laughing so hard he nearly swerves off the road.

“Cowabunga, duuuuude,” he wheezes out, and Eddie just sighs. “I’m mega-stoked about those totally tubular waves, duuuuuuude –”

“Okay,” Eddie mutters

“—it’s waaaaay rad, bro –”

“Are you done?” Eddie says, but he’s smiling.

“Hang on,” Stone says, holding up a finger. “Far out! These gnarly sick waves have me amped, duuuuude – okay I’m done.”

“Thank God,” Eddie laughs. “I have never said anything of those things before, by the way.”

“Bull,” Stone smirks. “Oh, man, this is fucking amazing. Wait til Jeff hears.”

“Oh, joy,” Eddie mumbles, smiling to himself. Stone glances at him and grins, relieved at the distraction. He’s always surprised by how nice Eddie is, and then suddenly he feels guilty when he remembers what he’s doing to him. Stone decides to just try and forget about it.

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Seven: Eddie’s POV

A/N: Not much to say about this chapter! If anyone has advice on what Chris’s tolerance would be, that would be super helpful, because I’m mostly basing this off of Google and a little interview clip I saw once where someone said Chris drank five bottles of champagne in five hours and wasn’t drunk (btw, if anyone knows where I can find that clip, that would be super helpful!!). Let me know what you think in the comments, and enjoy!!

“Son, she said Have I got a little story for you What you thought was your daddy Was nothin' but a

While you were sittin' Home alone at age thirteen Your real daddy was dyin' Sorry you didn't see him But I'm glad we talked

Oh I, oh, I, I'm still alive…”

Eddie’s voice trails off as he sings and he steps away from the microphone, blinking hard. The rest of the band slowly grinds to a halt.

“Ed, what’s wrong?” Jeff asks, touching his arm lightly. Eddie jumps a little.

“I, uh, need a minute,” he mumbles, and rushes out, locking himself in the bathroom. After a minute he sinks to the floor, burying his head in his hands. There’s a knock at the door and Eddie gets up and opens it, falling into Jeff’s open arms immediately. Jeff pats his back awkwardly.

“What happened?” he asks quietly. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut.

“Nothing happened, really, it’s just… my stepdad’s dying,” he says, and he blinks hard when he feels his eyes watering. “I – I need to go see him, I know I’ll regret it if I don’t.”

“In California?” Jeff asks uncertainly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Eddie says, pulling back and nodding. “Tomorrow. I need to go, I have to do this.”

“Okay,” Jeff says, still sounding a little confused. “How long will you be gone for?”

“A week, maybe – not long,” Eddie says. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jeff says quickly. “I’m sure everyone will understand. Uh, do you want to finish practice?”

No, that’s the last thing I want to do, Eddie thinks, but he nods. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Okay,” Jeff says again. “How are you gonna get there?” he asks a minute later. Eddie frowns.

“I – I don’t know, I hadn’t thought of that,” he mumbles. “Jeff, I can’t afford to fly,” he squeezes his eyes shut, his chest tightening in panic.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Jeff says quickly. “Look, Stone can probably give you a ride, or Mike.”

“I can’t ask them –”

“Okay, I will,” Jeff announces, and marches back into the practice room, Eddie trailing awkwardly behind him and silently wishing he could sink into the floor. “Listen up, guys – Eddie needs a ride to California tomorrow to visit his stepdad. Who’s free?”

There’s a brief pause, and then Stone says hesitantly, “I just got laid off…”

“Perfect, you can take him,” Jeff says, and Stone nods. Eddie quickly interjects, unable to bear it any longer. “Stone, you don’t have to –”

“No, it’s fine,” Stone interrupts. “Might be nice to get away for a while, anyway. I miss the sun.”

Eddie can’t help a tiny smile. “Okay,” he says. Stone had been his ride to practice, and he had seemed a little cold, but he’s just relieved that it seems to have turned around.

After practice Eddie calls Beth and asks her to meet him at the Moonbean. He’s disappointed at how awkward the call is, and how unenthusiastic she sounds, but he knows it’s his fault. He sits in the Moonbean for twenty minutes before she finally shows up, looking frazzled and unhappy. Eddie winces in guilt.

               “Hey,” he says, standing up and hugging her. Beth awkwardly reciprocates and then pulls away, faster than normal. Eddie sighs. This isn’t going well and they haven’t even started talking yet.

               “Listen, we have to talk about Saturday night,” he says quietly, sliding the coffee he ordered for her across the table. Beth cringes and pushes it away.

               “Yeah,” she says. “Eddie, it didn’t mean anything. To me, I mean, and I hope it didn’t mean anything to you.”

               “Oh,” Eddie says quietly, trying not to sound disappointed. “Yeah, me either.”

               “Okay, so we’re on the same page,” Beth says, and gets up to leave. Eddie quickly stops her.

               “Wait, so we’re not – together, or anything,” he says painfully, trying to sound casual. Beth shakes her head firmly.

               “Eddie, we’re friends,” she says. Eddie nods. “You’re my best friend. And I think we’re just better that way. I’d like to date other people, you know? I just don’t – think of you that way.”

               “Right,” Eddie whispers, nodding. “I get it, I do.”

               Beth squeezes his hand. “I’m sorry,” she says sincerely, and Eddie shakes his head.

               “No, it’s fine,” he says quietly. “Listen, I’m going to California. For a week, probably. Because of that thing with my stepfather.”

               “Oh, really?” Beth says in an overly surprised voice. Eddie frowns; she isn’t a good liar either.

               “You already knew,” he says, a little accusingly. Beth laughs.

               “How would I know?” she says, and Eddie shrugs. Beth hugs him quickly. “Bye,” she says, and hurries out. Eddie stares after her in confusion.

               By the time he gets home he’s exhausted himself trying to figure out who would have told her – most likely Jeff – and why, exactly. He didn’t know they were even friends, and he’s a little annoyed that Jeff wouldn’t give him a chance to tell her himself, but in the end he just decides to let it go. It’s not a huge deal to him anyway, although he’s not sure why she would bother lying about it.

               Eddie collapses on the couch as soon as he gets home, something he’s been doing a lot recently. It suddenly occurs to him to call Chris and tell him he’s leaving, but then he wonders if they’re good enough friends that Chris would even care. Probably not, he thinks, and sighs heavily. He still can’t really decide if Chris even likes him at all. After a few minutes the not knowing gets to him and he finds himself picking out a flower from the bouquet he almost brought to the café for Beth and sits on the couch, debating whether this is too childish for a minute, until he gives in and starts pulling petals off, quietly murmuring, “He likes me, he likes me not, he likes me, he likes me not… he likes me!” Eddie snatches his phone off the table and dials Chris’s number before he can stop himself. Chris picks up on the first ring.

               “Hello?” he wheezes out, sounding incredibly out of breath. Eddie frowns.

               “Chris? You okay?”

               “Yeah, I’m good,” Chris says, his voice sounding a little choked. “What’s up?”

               “Not much,” Eddie says hesitantly, suddenly realizing he should’ve come up with a reason to call first. “Just, uh, checking in.” He cringes at how stupid that sounds. “What’re you up to?”

               “Oh,” Chris says, clearly a little surprised. “I’m just, uh, working out.” He sounds a little embarrassed and Eddie blushes furiously at the image that enters his mind.

               “Oh, that’s cool,” he says casually. “Do you do that pretty often, then?” Eddie groans internally and lightly hits his forehead.

               “Yeah, sometimes – what was that sound?” Chris asks, and Eddie wants to die.

               “Dropped the phone for a second,” he chokes out, mortified. “Are you up to anything tonight?” Shit, it sounds like he’s asking Chris on a fucking date. “Because I am, I’m busy,” he says quickly.

               “Nice,” Chris says, sounding a little confused. “Uh, no, I’m not doing anything. Just maybe working on some songs or something. Probably gonna be kind of a dull night.”

               “Maybe we could do something,” Eddie offers, and smacks himself again. Chris lets out a confused sort of chuckle.

               “I thought you were busy,” he says.

               “Yeah,” Eddie says, trying to sound cool, “but it’s pretty flexible. I mean, I was going to bail anyway.”

               “You don’t have plans,” Chris says, and he’s laughing. Eddie gives a weak sort of “what?!” and laughs a little too, but thankfully Chris spares him the embarrassment of having to answer. “You should come over, we could rent a movie or something,” he suggests. Eddie forces himself to pause before answering so he doesn’t sound too eager.

               “Yeah, that sounds cool,” he agrees calmly, even though he’s pretty sure Chris can see right through him. “Uh, what time?”

               “Whenever’s fine,” Chris says, and Eddie feels his anxiety peak.

               “Really? No specific time in mind?” he asks weakly, and thankfully Chris catches on.

               “Eight,” Chris says confidently, and Eddie pretends he isn’t thinking about how that’s the standard date time.

               “Cool,” he says, suddenly a little panicked, and hangs up. Eddie instantly buries his head in his hands, feeling like he could die of embarrassment. At least Chris apparently likes him after all.

               Eddie sits on Chris’s couch, eating stale corndogs he found in the freezer and watching yet another terrifying horror movie. He wishes he was home and then immediately feels bad – he is enjoying hanging out with Chris. It’s just Chris’s selection of movies – and food – that Eddie isn’t enjoying. On top of that, he’s beyond embarrassed that Chris saw his shitty apartment now that he knows where Chris lives – although his apartment is dirty and cluttered, it’s clear that with a different, cleaner owner it would be surprisingly spacious and far nicer than anything Eddie could ever afford.

               “What do you want to watch next?” Chris asks, making Eddie jump. He’s been trying so hard to avoid looking at the screen that he had no idea the movie was even close to being over, but he’s definitely relieved.

               “Um,” Eddie says. “Does it have to be a horror movie?”

               Chris laughs. “Not if you don’t want to watch one, although the next one in line is very good.”

               “Okay, sure,” Eddie says hesitantly. It’s Chris’s place, after all – who is he to pick the movie in someone else’s home? Chris shakes his head anyway.

               “Nah, I can tell you don’t want to,” he says, and Eddie shakes his head quickly.

               “No, really, it’s fine,” he says, but Chris ignores him.

               “Hmm… I don’t have a lot of non-horror movies, we might have to go rent something,” he says. Eddie cringes.

               “Really, it’s fine,” he lies. “I like horror movies.” Chris just smiles at him, and Eddie can tell he isn’t buying it.

               “Here, I have a couple of Disney movies I got for my niece that were very politely mailed back,” he says, smirking a little. “Do you like Cinderella?”

               “I… don’t know?” Eddie offers. He’s heard of it, but never seen it. “Why would your niece send her presents back?”

               “She didn’t, her mom did,” Chris explains. “Some shit went down when I left home and long story short my family doesn’t really like me anymore.”

               “Oh,” Eddie says, feeling a little guilty for asking. “Let’s watch Cinderella.”

               Chris smiles a little, although his eyes are still sad, and puts the movie on. It doesn’t take long for him and Eddie both to discover that they absolutely love Disney movies.

               “We will never tell anyone about this,” Chris announces solemnly, and Eddie crosses his heart and hopes to die – not literally, for once.

               Another ten minutes pass and Chris starts fidgeting. “This is surprisingly good,” he says, “but I still need alcohol to cope with the singing mice.”

               Eddie laughs a little, feeling unusually relaxed. “Yeah, I could do with some beer,” he says, and Chris jumps up and heads into the kitchen, returning with a twelve-pack, a bottle of red wine, and more corndogs.

               “I’m hungry,” he explains, and Eddie nods, taking his beer. “You want one?”

               “Nah, I already had one,” Eddie says, deciding not to mention how disgustingly stale it was. Chris doesn’t seem to notice.

               “Hey,” Eddie says suddenly, remembering why he called. Chris glances over curiously.

               “Yeah?”

               “I’m going back to California,” he says, and Chris’s eyes widen.

               “What – you mean, like – permanently?” He sounds alarmed and the fact that he cares so much makes Eddie feel warm all over, but he decides to just ignore it.

               “No, just for like a week. My stepdad’s in the hospital, and apparently it’s my duty to visit him,” Eddie says a little bitterly, and then sighs. “I think I’ll regret it if I don’t, anyway.”

               “Oh,” Chris says quietly, suddenly serious. “I, uh, know how you feel.”

               “Yeah?” Eddie says curiously, turning to face Chris. For a second he thinks Chris isn’t going to say anything, and then he sighs again.

               “Yeah, my dad, uh, he has dementia. From drinking so much, you know.” Chris bites his lip. “And I guess he kinda forgot that he hates me or something and now he wants to have a relationship –” Chris’s voice cracks and he clears his throat gruffly. “So I, uh, have to figure out what to do about that.”

               “I’m sorry,” Eddie says softly, and Chris smiles weakly and chugs his beer.

               “It’s okay,” he says, crumpling the can. “So, California, huh? Surfing?”

               “Yeah, I guess,” Eddie says, forcing a laugh. “Honestly, I am kind of obsessed with surfing.”

               “I fucking knew it,” Chris cheers, pumping his fist. “Wait, you’re not being sarcastic, right?”

               “Nope,” Eddie says, suddenly a little embarrassed. “That’s probably the first thing I’ll do, to be honest.”

               “That’s fucking amazing,” Chris laughs. “I’ve never met a surfer before.”

               “Now you have,” Eddie mumbles, and he’s sure his face is bright red. He knows Chris doesn’t mean it in a mean way, but it stings anyway. Chris seems to pick up on this because he changes the subject again.

               “So when are you leaving?” he asks. Eddie pauses.

               “Tomorrow, actually,” he says. “Stone’s driving me. I should probably go home to pack, honestly…”

               “Stone will wait for you,” Chris says dismissively, and Eddie bristles a little and forces himself to relax.

               “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says firmly. “Stone’s actually being a little weird with me right now, I don’t want to push his buttons.”

               “Oh, really?” Chris says, frowning. “Well, he did just lose his job, maybe he’s upset about that.”

               “Yeah, maybe,” Eddie says doubtfully. It’s not a bad explanation, but somehow Stone’s anger – or whatever it is – feels more personal. Chris frowns.

               “Listen, I’ll talk to him before you leave,” he says confidently, and Eddie starts shaking his head again.

               “No, that doesn’t really seem like a good idea either,” he says, but Chris ignores him.

               “Trust me, it’ll be great,” he says, and chugs more beer. Eddie raises his eyebrows as he drains the can in one go and opens another, taking a few good drinks of that before he finally puts it down. Eddie takes a self-conscious sip of his beer and feels like a wimp for drinking it so slow, but he just doesn’t feel up to getting drunk tonight. Chris seems to always feel up to that.

               “Just be delicate, okay? It’s a long drive,” Eddie says finally, and Chris nods.

               “I’m always delicate,” he says, smirking a little, and Eddie smiles slightly too, although he’s getting anxious. He hates being around drunk people when he’s not drunk himself, and it seems like Chris is heading down that road pretty damn fast. When Eddie looks over he sees three cans on the floor, and Chris is polishing off a fourth, along with half the bottle of wine. Still, he doesn’t even seem tipsy.

               “You hold your alcohol well,” Eddie mumbles, still sipping on his first beer. Chris shrugs.

               “Genetics,” he says. “Both my parents were alcoholics. I have a high tolerance.”

               “Oh,” Eddie says, not really sure how to respond to that. Chris doesn’t seem to notice, once more absorbed in Cinderella. Eddie decides to stay and keep watching the movie for at least a little while longer.

               By the end of the movie, Chris is through his second twelve-pack and working on a third, as well as having polished off the wine, and he’s getting pretty loaded. Eddie is desperate to leave, but a little scared to leave Chris alone. After a minute he cautiously says, “Hey, Chris?”

               “Yep,” Chris mumbles, taking another swig. Eddie frowns.

               “I kinda need to go home and pack,” he says cautiously. “Are you gonna be okay if I leave?”

               “Please,” Chris says thickly, waving his hand. His words are getting hard to understand and he’s not slowing down. “I’ve been doin’ this since I was… twelve.”

               “Oh – wow, okay,” Eddie says, blinking. “So… you’ll be fine, then?”

               “Yes,” Chris says stubbornly, nodding. “Go… pack.”

               “Okay,” Eddie says a little hesitantly, getting up from the couch. “Good night, Chris.”

               “G’night,” Chris slurs out. Eddie hurries out before he can change his mind, but hears Chris calling him as he pulls the door closed. Eddie pokes his head back in.

               “Yeah?”

               “Eddie,” Chris says, a little clearer than before. “Can you ge’ me another bottle of wine please?”

               “That was the last one,” Eddie lies, hoping Chris is too drunk to get up and check. Chris swears loudly.

               “Jus’ – jus’ check again,” he mumbles, and Eddie bites his lip.

               “Chris, that’s more than you should drink in a week,” he says cautiously, and Chris suddenly lurches up, startling Eddie. The height difference has never seemed so obvious.

               “Hey, fuck you,” Chris spits, grabbing the wall for support but still looming over Eddie. “You have no right – judging me – this ‘s my house –”

               “Okay,” Eddie says quietly, backing out. “Sorry.” He pulls the door shut just as Chris hurls the TV remote at him and bolts out of the apartment, running for two whole blocks before he finally slows to a jog. He looks down and realizes his hands are shaking, and he decides he better call Stone once he gets home and find out if this is actually normal for Chris.

               Eddie doesn’t even bother taking his shoes off when he gets home, just goes straight to the phone. On the walk back he found himself getting increasingly worried about Chris drinking himself into a coma or something, and he’s on the verge of panic as he frantically dials Stone’s number. Thank God, Stone picks up almost immediately.

               “Hey, Eddie,” he says drowsily, and Eddie suddenly realizes it’s like two in the morning. Oh well, Stone’s up now.

               “Stone,” he says, and he must sound as scared as he feels because Stone instantly sounds more awake.

               “What’s happened, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he demands, and Eddie takes a shaky breath.

               “Yeah, I’m okay,” he says, hesitantly. “I mean, sort of – it’s not me who’s not okay –”

               “What happened, Eddie,” Stone says in a choked voice, not even making it a question, and it suddenly occurs to Eddie what he must be thinking.

               “Shit, no,” he says quickly, “nothing’s happened, everyone’s okay,” and Stone makes a funny kind of half-sigh, half-sob.

               “You fucking scared me,” he says, and Eddie feels horrible.

               “Sorry, I didn’t think,” he murmurs, and then remembers why he’s calling. “There is kind of a problem though.”

               “Yeah?” Stone sounds attentive again. “About the trip?”

               “No, uh, about Chris, actually,” Eddie says, and Stone says “oh” in a way that makes Eddie think he’s not at all surprised. “I was over at his place –”

               “He let you go to his apartment?” Stone asks in surprise. “It took us ages, Chris hates having people there.”

               “Oh,” Eddie says uncertainly, “I mean, he invited me…”

               “Huh,” Stone says, still sounding surprised and a little impressed. “He must really like you. Go on.”

               Eddie nods quickly to himself, forcing himself not to ponder on it so he doesn’t get too excited. After all, he’s not sure if he even likes Chris after tonight – okay, that’s a lie, he does, but he’s hesitant. “So I was over at his place, and he mentioned that he wanted some beer and it seemed really casual so it was normal, right? And then I started noticing that he was drinking really fast, and I swear to God he finished the twelve-pack off before I even finished my first can. I’m serious, Stone, it was weird.”

               “Go on,” is all Stone says. Eddie takes a deep breath.

               “I was watching the movie and I was a little spaced out cause I’m tired, you know? But at some point he got a second twelve-pack and started in on that too – oh, and he drank a whole bottle of wine. I decided to just leave and by the time I was heading out he’d finished the second one too and he was working on a third, and he asked me for another bottle of wine . I said he didn’t have one but he does, it’s like all he has in that whole fucking kitchen and I’m scared he’ll drink it. Anyway, I said that it was too much and he started screaming at me and threw the remote at my head so I ran out –”

               “What?” Stone says.

               “—and he said it was normal but it doesn’t seem like it could be and I’m really worried, Stone.”

               “Wow,” Stone says. Eddie waits for more.

               “Wow,” Stone says again. Eddie groans in frustration.

               “Is he okay, should I be worried?” he demands.

               “After he threw a remote at your head, you definitely shouldn’t be worried about him,” Stone says, and Eddie wants to throttle him.

               “Stone!” he yells, and the guitarist sighs.

               “Yes, it’s normal,” he says, more seriously, and Eddie exchanges incredulous glances with his cat.

               “Really? Since he was twelve?”

               “I mean, for the most part,” Stone says, a little awkwardly. “Listen, Eddie, Chris is a private person. It’s hard to get much out of him, so I really couldn’t say about his past. But it’s been normal ever since I’ve known him. He could drink fucking Andre the Giant under the table.”

               “So – he’ll be okay?” Eddie asks hesitantly, still trying to wrap his head around it.

               “Yes,” Stone says. “The only times you need to really worry are when he’s upset about something, like the first time you met him. That’s why I had him stay with me.”

               “Makes sense,” Eddie mumbles. “But none of that has gone away yet, how is he better now?”

               “He –” Stone starts, and then sighs. “Okay, honestly, I have no fucking clue. I love Chris, but he’s a mess, okay? That’s something you need to be very aware of.”

               “I think that’s a little harsh,” Eddie says defensively.

               “No,” Stone says firmly, “no, it’s not harsh because it’s true, okay? Chris is a good person, he’s a great friend, but he is a mess and there’s just no way to deny it, so you have to accept or move on, okay? I don’t want either of you to get hurt, especially him if he has to lose another friend, and I know that’s how this will end if you deny he is until it’s too obvious to ignore.”

               “Okay,” Eddie says hesitantly, “I guess that makes sense, but I don’t know, he hasn’t really been that way with me yet.”

               “Eddie, he drank twenty five beers and tried to assault you and I’m telling you that’s normal for him,” Stone says seriously. “I need you to tell me you know he’s a mess. I think it’s great that you’re friends but I need to know that you know that and you’re acknowledging it.”

               “Okay, I guess I see what you mean,” Eddie says, but he can’t help but feel like he’s betraying Chris.

               “Okay,” Stone says, sounding relieved. “I’m sorry, but I just want you to be aware. Anyway, to answer your question, I have no idea if he’s okay or not. He doesn’t really seem like it, but then he never really does. And I think he’s upset with me anyway, so I doubt he’s telling me anything.”

               “Oh.” Eddie frowns. “I thought he seemed okay tonight, but then there was the drinking stuff,” he says, and Stone sighs.

               “See, that’s exactly what I mean. Maybe sometimes he seems okay, but there’s always a ‘but,’ he’s never just plain okay.”

               “Yeah,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t know Chris that well and he feels like maybe this counts as gossiping or something. “So he’s okay tonight, though, like he’s not in immediate danger?”

               Stone pauses for a worryingly long time. “I don’t think so,” he says hesitantly. “I really don’t, but then I thought Andy –” and his voice breaks. “Listen, I have to go,” Stone says, and Eddie can actually hear the difference in his voice at the mention of Andy, hear the pain and heaviness that wasn’t as pronounced before.

               “Okay,” Eddie says. “See you tomorrow.”

               “See you,” Stone says, and hangs up. Eddie ponders everything that’s happened for a minute before he decides he’s just too tired. With a final sigh and exasperated look at Nachos, Eddie goes to bed.

[unsolvedbfsarchive-blog]

*opens fanfic*

fanfic: i

*closes fanfic*

[sasspiria]

*opens fanfic*

Fanfic: you-

*shoots laptop with a gun several times*

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Six: Stone's POV

A/N: Sorry about the wait! I’ve been super busy but I decided to just quickly post this for you guys. This is a pretty long one, so enjoy and please leave feedback!

                Stone is pissed.

                Since that disastrous practice, Jeff won’t talk to him (although he and Matt are no longer fighting), Chris took his car and hasn’t returned it (plus he’s been missing for two days), and the number he took from Chris’s fridge has gone missing so he can’t confront him about it; he figures Chris probably took it when he left with Stone’s car. In addition to this, Andy’s mother has called him eight times – and he has no plans to call her back ever again – and Eddie is apparently having some major personal crisis that means he can’t pick up the phone for two days. Oh, and Stone was fired from his waiter job for taking an extra-long break to have a meltdown in the bathroom.

                In short, he hates everyone.

                The phone rings again right as he’s completing his mental list of everyone he wants to kill, and Stone is about to call his provider to block Andy’s mom’s number when he sees that it’s Eddie calling and nearly trips over himself hurrying to answer it.

                “Hello? Eddie?” he asks, and gets a typical mumbled “hi” from the singer. “What’s up?”

                “Just, uh, returning your call, I think you might’ve called a few times…” Eddie’s voice trails off.

                “Yeah, I was just wondering about practice because you missed today,” Stone says. And so did everyone else, so what was that about? he thinks, but he doesn’t say it. Eddie’s nice, he’ll probably explain on his own.

                “Oh, uh, I called Jeff and he said he’d tell everyone,” Eddie says apologetically. “Sorry about that, I should’ve just called everyone myself.”

                “No, that’s fine. He probably just forgot,” Stone lies. “How come you cancelled?”

                “I don’t know,” Eddie mumbles, and Stone can immediately tell he’s hiding something. He has a good sense for that kind of thing.

                “What aren’t you telling me?” he asks, and Eddie sighs heavily.

                “Well, the night of that practice I had Beth over and we – we got a little drunk,” Eddie says hesitantly. “And we – well, we slept together. On accident, I mean, I don’t even remember it. But I was scared to talk to her so I went for a walk and then Chris picked me up and we went to this bar so I could meet his friends and that guy from his band was there, the one with the girl’s name –“

                “Kim?” Stone asks.

                “Yeah. Anyway, Chris freaked out and ran out, so I left too and he was banging his head on the steering wheel. I got Kim and then he came inside and said Chris was fine, but his car didn’t move for a while so I went back outside and he was still doing it, there was blood everywhere –“

                “Aw, shit,” Stone mutters – partly out of concern for Chris, and partly out of concern for his car.

                “We dragged him out and they all said not to bother you so I just let him spend the night at my place,” Eddie explains. “I drove him home this morning.”

                “So that’s where my car is,” Stone mutters, then says a little louder, “Did he seem okay? When you dropped him off?”

                “Yeah, I think so,” Eddie says hesitantly. “I mean, it was a little weird – I can’t really figure out if he likes me or not –“

                “I’m sure he does,” Stone interrupts patiently. “Chris is… I don’t know. He’s hard to get to know, I guess, because he’s kind of cold with outsiders, and he’s really shy even though he pretends he isn’t. But once you get past that, he’s really nice.”

                “He hasn’t exactly been cold, though, just kind of strange,” Eddie says, and Stone wonders how best to explain the complexity that is Chris Cornell.

                “I know what you mean. It’s like he’s nice, but then not interested and it just kind of goes back and forth. It’s just how he’ll be until you get past that stage, normally he’s not really like that.”

                “Ah,” Eddie says, although he still sounds a little confused. There’s a brief pause.

                “So, you slept with Beth,” Stone says to break the silence, and hears Eddie sigh heavily on the other end. “How’s that working out?”

                “I haven’t seen her since then,” Eddie admits, sounding a little embarrassed. “She was gone when I came back with Chris, and I think she might’ve called but I didn’t answer.”

                “You know you’ll have to talk to her eventually, right?” Stone asks, smiling a little to himself. Eddie is so charmingly inexperienced.

                “Yeah, I know,” he says with another heavy sigh. “I don’t know, she probably wants some space or something…”

                “Eddie,” Stone says firmly. “That is the last thing she wants. Trust me, women like to talk about this stuff. Not calling will make it so much worse.”

                “Ugh,” Eddie says, and Stone laughs a little.

                “Yeah, it’s a pain,” he says sympathetically. “But better to just get it over with.”

                “Dammit, fine,” Eddie says. “If it doesn’t go well, I’m blaming you.”

                “Fine by me,” Stone says, laughing again. “Have fun.”

                “Gee, thanks. I’ll call you later about practice, okay? I think Jeff wanted to practice tomorrow instead of Wednesday.”

                “Damn, okay,” Stone says, a little annoyed that Jeff hasn’t mentioned anything to him. “Talk to you later.”

                “Bye,” Eddie says, and hangs up. Stone sighs in frustration and puts the phone back, wondering what it’ll take to get Jeff to forgive him. Honestly, what he did wasn’t that terrible, and Jeff’s initial response had literally been to hug him. He just hopes that the rest of the band not knowing causes Jeff to act like everything’s normal, too – they had all left by the time Jeff sat him down and then basically yelled at him for two hours before storming out.

                Stone’s still pissed about that.

                He looks around the apartment for a minute before he decides he might as well go get his car, and hopefully check up on Chris in the process. He knows he promised Chris could go home after the funeral, but he’s hoping maybe Chris will come back voluntarily.

                Ten minutes later, Stone is sitting on Chris’s couch, holding his keys and a mug of old coffee. Chris sits at his feet, his face pressed in Stone’s knee as Stone cautiously strokes his hair. He was greeted at the door by Chris hurling himself into Stone’s arms, then quickly pulling back and bringing him coffee before he sat on the floor and started crying again.

                Stone knows he’s being horrible and selfish but he’s getting really sick of Chris crying on him.

                “Chris, what happened?” he asks anyway, and Chris sniffs again and sits up.

                “It’s my dad,” he says, and Stone winces. Chris’s dad is an ass.

                “What’s wrong, did you run in to him somewhere?” Stone questions, and Chris shakes his head, tearing up again.

                “No, it’s—Peter called me,” he says miserably. “I guess he was acting a little weird, so Patrick took him to the doctor. He has some kind of dementia from drinking too much, and I guess he said something about me, like wanting to have a relationship again or something...” Chris’s voice cracks and Stone slides onto the floor and hugs him. Maybe Chris has been a little needy lately, but they all have family problems and he knows how much it sucks.

                “It’s okay,” he says gently, “and, Chris, you shouldn’t feel obligated – “

                “I know,” Chris says, starting to break down again. Stone rubs his back. “But if he’s going to make an effort then maybe I should too.”

                “Not unless you really want to, for your own reasons,” Stone says firmly. “Don’t put yourself through that just for him.” Chris just sniffles and doesn’t respond, and Stone hugs him tighter.

                “I’m sorry,” Chris cries suddenly, gripping Stone’s shirt. “I know I’ve been being really needy and just a pain, it’s just all this stuff and I can’t – I don’t know, it’s just really hard to handle sometimes and I don’t know what to do,” he sobs out. Stone feels guilty immediately.

                “No, it’s okay,” he whispers soothingly, stroking Chris’s hair. “You’re not being a pain, and you’re our friend, we want to help.” Chris just shakes his head, crying harder, and Stone sighs, at a loss of what to do. Without thinking he gently kisses the top of Chris’s bandaged head, and Chris lurches back, his eyes widening.

                “What the fuck, Stone?” he chokes out, touching his head like he’s checking for damage. Stone stares at him, baffled.

                “What do you mean, I was just…” he trails off because he’s not really sure why he did it, he didn’t exactly have a big secret agenda. Chris is shaking his head.

                “I think you need to leave,” he sniffles, wiping his face. Stone’s eyes widen in shock.

                “What? Why?!” he demands, and Chris just keeps shaking his head. Stone stares at him for a moment longer and then grabs his car keys and his coffee – which he dumps on the floor in a fit of vengeance – and storms out, finally getting in his beloved and much-missed car.

                Of course it’s fucking covered in blood.

                Stone drives home blankly, replaying his little scene with Chris and trying to figure out what the fuck happened. By the time he’s pulling into his driveway he realizes he’s crying a little, and angrily wipes his eyes. Whatever happened, it wasn’t his fault, and he refuses to feel bad about it.

                Stone paces around his apartment for a while, still going over what happened, until he finally decides he needs a distraction. For a minute he considers just watching TV or practicing for a while, but he knows that he’ll still be thinking about it, so he decides to go out instead.

                Stone drives over to Club Studio in his bloody car, alone because everyone’s mad at him. Halfway there he starts feeling sick at the thought of drinking a bunch of cheap beer, so he stops at the Moonbean instead and burns his tongue on hot coffee while watching the few rare passers-by on the sidewalk. It isn’t really helping until he spots the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen in his life – and, coincidentally, the girl he hooked up with last month – come in and order a coffee.

                Stone watches her in silent awe, half-hoping she’ll see him and half-hoping she won’t, until she finally looks at him, and then he immediately gulps down some coffee so she thinks he’s busy and nearly burns his throat off. Somehow, he manages not to visibly react too much, and all of a sudden she’s pulling out a chair across from him, flushing slightly and twirling her hair around her finger.

                “Hi,” she says, a little nervously, and Stone’s almost forgotten how she has the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard until he hears her again.

                “Hi,” he says back, and his voice comes out like a pre-pubescent frog. He quickly clears his throat, feeling his face burning, and says “hi” again. She laughs. Stone wants to marry her.

                “This is kind of weird,” she says, blushing harder. “I don’t know if you remember me, but we’ve… met… before, and I, uh, saw you, and I thought maybe you might want my number…? I don’t think you got it before.”

                “Yes,” Stone says immediately, and blushes furiously. He feels like a teenager again. “Uh, I mean, yeah, yes, that would be great – nice,” he mumbles, and she smiles in relief, grabbing a napkin and quickly scribbling a few digits on it. It occurs to Stone he never even got her name, and he hopes she wrote it on the napkin.

                “Here,” she says, still smiling but clearly embarrassed. “I have a roommate, Chelsea – I don’t think she was there before – but just ask for me if she answers and she’ll put you through.”

                “Okay,” Stone says, unable to contain his grin. He looks down at the napkin and feels his stomach drop out. “B-beth? Liebling?” he chokes out, and she nods with another nervous smile.

                “That’s my name,” she says, twirling her hair again, and Stone nods.

                “I’m Stone. Gossard,” he says, and her face pales too.

                “Oh, shit,” she says. Stone nods. “Shit,” he agrees.

                “Eddie’s fine,” she says quickly, stopping Stone as he starts to get up. “I mean, we’re not dating, we’re just friends.”

                Oh, really, Stone thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He wants to believe her, so he does.

                “Okay,” he says, nodding. “You’re right, I think he’d be fine with it. But just to be sure…”

                “I won’t tell if you don’t,” she says, and Stone nods, hating himself. “Besides,” Beth adds quickly, clearly guilty too, “it’s not like we’re committing to a long-term relationship. Nothing’s even really happened – well.” She winces. “We didn’t know then, so it doesn’t count.”

                “Exactly,” Stone says immediately, nodding a little too hard. “Nothing to tell, so no point in upsetting anyone.”

                “Not that Eddie would be upset!” Beth jumps in, and Stone quickly agrees. “Of course not, he’d be really happy –“

                “Of course,” Beth agrees. “But, better safe than sorry. Even if we know for sure he’d be fine with it.”

                “Which we do,” Stone says confidently, and she nods in agreement. “Okay,” Stone says, after a moment. “I’d better get home –”

                “Yeah, me too –”

                “I’ll call you,” he finishes. Beth nods.

                “Yeah,” she says, “do that.” They smile at each other hesitantly, and then Stone quickly grabs his coffee and hurries out.

                “I’m a shit friend,” he says aloud, climbing into his car and sticking his keys in the ignition. It doesn’t start, and after a minute of trying he hears tapping on his window. Beth’s standing there, absolutely radiant in the rare Seattle sunlight, and Stone has never moved as fast as he does then, cranking down the window with zealous fervor. Beth squints at him.

                “Need a ride?” she asks.

                So, yes, they had sex.

                Right while Eddie was in the midst of a major dilemma because they had sex, too.

                What the fuck am I doing?

                After Stone left her apartment, he walked back to his car, which they had abandoned in their passion. Now he’s sitting on a bench outside a car garage while a couple of macho guys fix his car, and he can hear them making fun of his long hair. Stone ignores them and focuses instead on hating himself for sleeping with one of his best friends’ semi-girlfriend – although she did say they weren’t dating.

                Stone isn’t entirely sure Eddie’s aware of that particular fact, but he resolves to find out before he calls Beth. Even though she’s absolutely stunning and he’s pretty sure he’s officially in love with her, Eddie is his bandmate – and his friend – and he won’t help Beth cheat if they are actually dating.

                The first thing he does when he gets home is call her.

                “I hate myself,” Stone says aloud, listening to the phone ring, and then quickly changes his tone when Beth answers. “Hey!”

                “Hey, Stone!” Beth says excitedly. “What’s up?”

                “Just thinking about you,” Stone says, and cringes. They’ve only started whatever this is today, he doesn’t want to creep her out. Thankfully, Beth just giggles.

                “You’re so nice,” she says teasingly. “And free tonight, hopefully?”

                “Both of those things are true,” he says, smiling and trying to ignore Eddie’s betrayed face in his mind. “What did you have in mind?”

                “I think Alice in Chains is playing the Gateway tonight,” she offers, and Stone freezes. For a second he’s worried they might talk to Eddie if they see him with Beth, but then he remembers that they don’t actually know Eddie – besides, he can just avoid talking to them afterwards just in case.

                “I think that sounds great,” he says, and vows to call Eddie tomorrow. “I’ll pick you up?”

                “Sounds good,” Beth says, and Stone pictures her twirling her hair around her finger and sighs dreamily.

                “See you then,” he says stupidly. Beth giggles again.

                “See you then,” she agrees, and he hangs up, smiling despite the guilt twisting his insides. Just one more date can’t hurt.

                Stone wakes up the next morning to the phone ringing incessantly. He answers blearily, and nearly faints at Eddie’s voice, quickly covering Beth with a blanket, just in case Eddie can somehow see him. Beth mumbles a little and Stone claps his hand over her mouth, causing her to wake up for real.

                “Hey, Eddie,” he says loudly, and her eyes widen in horror. “What’s up?”

                “Did you just wake up?” Eddie laughs, and Stone glances at the clock – noon.

                “Yeah, I was out last night,” he says, opening his eyes really wide to wake up faster.

                “Oh, really?” Eddie asks teasingly. Stone sighs a little – of course Eddie’s in a chatty mood today of all days. “Is that all you did?”

                “Yes, of course,” Stone says quickly. “Are we practicing?” he adds, before Eddie can reply.

                “Yeah, Jeff said he can make it after all,” Eddie says, and sighs a little. “Listen, I actually wanted to talk to you about Beth…”

                “Oh,” Stone says, panicking a little. “I mean, are you sure I’m a good person to talk to about that? Because I am terrible at relationships, I’ll only make this worse. In fact, I’ll spare you by simply refusing to listen.”

                “I don’t really have anyone else to talk to,” Eddie says, and he sounds so sad Stone can’t bring himself to refuse.

                “Um,” is all he says, and Eddie takes it as a yes.

                “Okay,” he says, clearly relieved, “thanks. So what I’m thinking is, maybe it was like friend sex. Like friends with benefits? Just a random thing, and we don’t even have to talk about it because we don’t care and it doesn’t matter.”

                Stone looks at Beth helplessly, and she shrugs, seeming just as uncertain as he is. “Um,” Stone says again, and Eddie goes on.

                “Like, I didn’t really want it to mean anything. Or maybe I did, but I’m scared that that might mess up our friendship, you know? And I definitely don’t want to do it again until we talk about it,” he adds firmly. Stone cringes.

                “I mean, if you guys aren’t dating you shouldn’t have sex,” he says, crossing his fingers. “And you’re not dating, right?” Beth closes her eyes like she’s praying and Stone is biting his lip so hard it bleeds.

                “I think we kind of are though,” Eddie says with this tiny excited giggle, and Stone dies a little inside. Beth switches the phone on speaker so she can hear it better. “I don’t know where she stands, exactly, and I definitely don’t want to push it. But I wouldn’t exactly mind, and I don’t think she would either.”

                “I thought she already had a boyfriend or something,” Stone says, just to see how he reacts, and Beth shakes her head frantically. Too late.

                “No, she definitely doesn’t,” Eddie says with a laugh. “Even if we’re not officially dating, we definitely wouldn’t date other people, you know what I mean? It’s just one of those weird ‘it’s complicated’ relationships where we’re not exactly together, but we’re not not-together enough to date other people.”

                “I see,” Stone says, and he’s pretty sure he can actually feel the color leaving his face. Beth buries her head in her hands.

                “So what should I do?” Eddie asks, a little pleadingly. “I think I want to try dating – officially – but I don’t want to screw up our friendship. I mean, it feels like the right thing to do, but it’s risky.”

                “I think,” Stone says, “you need to sit down with… her, and figure out if she wants to start a relationship or if it’s a good idea. Then you’ll know for sure.” He glances at Beth, hoping he’s said the right thing, and she gives him a thumbs up. Stone sighs in relief.

                “I don’t know,” Eddie says, sighing heavily. “I kinda want to just slowly integrate it because I think we’re both on board, but maybe I should check, just to be sure…”

                “Yes,” Stone says firmly, nodding his head for emphasis. “Check first. Otherwise it’ll be awkward and you’ll never be on the same page.”

                “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Eddie says, sounding a little cheered up. “Thanks, Stone.”

                “Yeah, no problem,” Stone says. His hands are shaking. “See you at practice.”

                “Bye,” Eddie says, and Stone hangs up faster than he ever has in his life, collapsing back onto the bed with his hands over his face. Beth rubs his arm.

                “That sucked,” she says, and Stone just nods. “But I’m gonna talk to Eddie, let him know I’m not interested, and then we’ll slowly start to introduce the idea of us being friends and eventually dating. Everything will work out, Stoney.”

                “Yeah,” Stone agrees hopelessly. “I’m sure you’re right.”

[lyresandlasers]

list of favorite things as a fanfic author:

When someone is really freaking mad at me for inducing an emotional response from them

when readers give me a background of how/when they read my writing

when readers give me a background of why they shouldn’t have been reading my writing (usually while at work)

when readers quote my work back to me in comments

the frickin’ real heroes here, the ones who comment on every chapter of an ongoing multi-chapter fic

[leispiachh]

I don’t have to make everything gay but I want to and I fucking will 

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter Five: Chris's POV

A/N: This chapter’s a little longer for you guys – sorry it took so long for me to post it! Also, there is a major trigger warning for this chapter for a pretty graphic description of self-harm (in the form of hitting). Stay safe, and don’t forget to comment or send me an ask to let me know what you think!

                What the fuck am I doing?

                Chris glances over at Eddie and feels a little sick. Eddie is nice, and pure, and untarnished.

                Chris is going to destroy him.

                He doesn’t care.

                “This is Club Studio,” he announces, pulling up next to the worn, dirty brick building. “It’s the best shitty bar around.” He shoots Eddie a quick smile and sees the younger man smiling back.

                “That sounds like my kind of place,” Eddie says lightly, but he seems a little scared and Chris feels a pang of guilt.

                “Don’t worry, the people are nice,” he offers, and Eddie smiles weakly, nodding.

                “I’m not worried,” he says, and Chris sees that his hands are shaking. “Okay,” he says.

                They head inside and Chris spots Layne and Jerry from across the room immediately. For a second his throat tightens and he thinks he might throw up, but then he takes a deep breath and leads Eddie over to them. Eddie needs to meet people.

                “Hey, Chris!” Jerry says, sounding surprised, and Layne whips around, going a little pale too. “It’s been a while.”

                “Yeah, I’ve been busy,” he says with a fake smile. “Guys, this is Eddie, Stone and Jeff’s new singer.”

                Eddie waves. He looks a little terrified.

                “Hey, man!” Jerry says excitedly, and it’s apparent it’s not his first drink. “Man, you are so cool. Jeff played us your demo tape, it was awesome, man!”

                “Thanks,” Eddie says shyly, ducking his head so he can hide behind his hair. “I’ve heard your band too, it’s really good.”

                “Thanks, man!” Jerry yells, patting his back vigorously. Eddie jumps a little.

                Layne hesitates, then says softly, “Yeah, the demo was real good.” Eddie smiles weakly.

                “Thanks,” he says again, awkwardly glancing back at Chris. Chris realizes they’re all looking at him and quickly turns to the bar to order a round.

                It doesn’t take too long – or too many beers – before Eddie begins to relax and actually talk of his own volition. Layne starts to chat with them too, although he’s avoiding talking to Chris and Chris is starting to think that Layne is mad at him. He’s about to make another attempt with Layne when he suddenly spots Kim standing a ways away at the bar and instantly feels himself starting to panic.

                “Okay guys, I gotta head out,” he says shortly, not wanting to have a panic attack in front of them. Eddie’s just starting to ask about a ride when Chris sees Kim approaching and bolts.

                He locks himself in Stone’s car and slams his head against the steering wheel, twice. Hard enough that, when he glances in the mirror to make sure no one’s followed him, his head is bleeding. Chris swears and slams his head again, and again. He only stops when someone pounds hard on his window, and he dazedly raises his head and squints as he cranks the window down.

                “Chris, oh my God,” Eddie gasps. “What happened?!”

                “Nothing,” Chris mumbles, wiping blood out of his eyes. There’s silence after that, and Chris feels a little sad, but he also figures it’s better Eddie get scared off before Chris can do any real damage to him. He drops his head again, figuring he might as well wallow in misery for at least a few minutes before he drives home. The blood is obscuring his vision a little too much too drive right now anyway.

                Chris doesn’t know how long he sits before there’s a tap on his shoulder, and he jolts his head up again, wiping his eyes.

                “Shit, Chris,” Kim says, shuffling a little awkwardly. “What the fuck did you do?”

                “Nothing,” Chris says again, and prays that Kim will go away. He doesn’t.

                “Andy’s replacement said you fucked yourself up,” Kim says, and Chris bristles.

                “He’s not Andy’s replacement,” he says sharply, and Kim looks at him in surprise.

                “What, do you have a thing for this guy?” he snorts, and Chris doesn’t bother answering. Kim shuffles again. “Do you want me to drive you home?” he offers. Chris shakes his head.

                “I’m not allowed to go home, I’m staying with Stone,” he explains, and Kim laughs a little.

                “So Stone’s your mother now?” he questions and then looks a little guilty when Chris doesn’t answer. “Whatever, man. You want me to drive you to Stone’s then?”

                “No,” Chris says, and nothing else. He suddenly feels incredibly weak, and wishes again that Kim would leave.

                “Huh,” Kim says, a little awkwardly. “Well, I’m gonna… head back inside.” He turns and starts to walk away, then stops and turns around again. “I’ll see you later,” he says. Chris manages a nod, and Kim disappears inside the bar. Chris slams his head again. He raises his head for a second to make sure Kim has actually gone inside, and then again just to double check, and then just once more, and then he starts slamming his head again.

                He doesn’t stop until he feels someone literally holding his head in place, and he realizes Eddie has been yelling his name. Chris stops but still slumps forward, too dazed to hold his head up any longer. Through a fog he feels someone dragging him out of the car and laying him on the sidewalk, and he vaguely registers a few concerned faces floating above him. As if from a great distance he hears Jerry saying, “well, shit,” and he tries to tell them he’s fine but the words don’t come out. He decides to just lay there until he feels a little better.

Chris wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. His head feels like it’s splitting open, and when he reaches up and lightly touches it he realizes his forehead is bandaged. Chris blinks blearily and tries to focus on figuring out where he is, but fails. In the end he just forces himself to sit up, throws up in a trash can by the bed, and struggles out into the hallway, nearly tripping over the most enormous cat he’s ever seen. He appears to be in an unusually small and squalid apartment. The apartment isn’t dirty, per se, but it’s extremely shabby and run-down. Chris makes it almost to the living room before he gets too dizzy and has to sit down on the worryingly stained carpet. He’s sitting there, trying to regain his bearings so he can get up again, when he sees feet walking towards him and then Eddie crouches down in front of him.

“Hey, Chris,” he says gently, and Chris topples forward onto him in a sudden bout of dizziness. Eddie drags him to the couch and gently lowers him down.

“Is this your house?” Chris mumbles, trying to focus on Eddie’s face. Eddie smiles slightly.

“Yeah, this is my apartment,” he says. “Do you want some water?”

It suddenly occurs to Chris how thirsty he is, and he nods vigorously, then groans at the pain. “And some Oxy, or maybe Percocet…?”

“Um, I have aspirin,” Eddie offers, and Chris makes a face but still nods. “Your cat is fat,” he says, and Eddie frowns slightly, offended, before he jumps up and disappears into the kitchen. Chris looks around and absently wonders why the fuck Eddie has such a shitty place. He sits up a little, propping himself up on a shabby pillow. After a few minutes Eddie returns with a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin, and Chris takes the bottle and pours a good amount into his mouth before drinking the water. Eddie gawks at him.

“Chris, that’s way too many,” he says quietly, a little embarrassed. Chris shakes his head.

“I need this many,” he explains, and takes a few more for good measure. Eddie shakes his head a little but doesn’t say anything else.

“How’s your head?” Eddie asks after a minute, and Chris shrugs and immediately winces.

“I’m okay,” he says, and Eddie nods. “Can you drive me home?” he asks after a minute, and Eddie looks at him in surprise.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to –“

“Stone isn’t my mother,” Chris snaps, and Eddie sits back, nodding again.

“Okay, I’ll drive you,” he says. “Let me get my shoes.”

They spend most of the ride in silence, partly because Chris is overprotective of Stone’s car and is getting extremely stressed out with someone else driving it, and partly just because his head hurts and he doesn’t feel like talking. Eddie makes a few awkward attempts, but Chris ignores him until he stops.

They finally get to Chris’s apartment building and he’s about to get out of the car when Eddie says suddenly, “Do you have a – a problem with me or something?”

Chris almost ignores him again, but then he decides that would be too mean. “What do you mean,” he says blandly, and Eddie gives him a look that makes Chris think maybe he’s mad.

“Listen, maybe I overstepped or crossed a line or something, but there wasn’t anyone else and Stone said he didn’t want you to be alone –“

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Chris says, and tries to get out again. He just wants to get in his nice, soft bed.

“No, no, wait,” Eddie says quickly, and Chris sighs and sinks back in his seat. “Look, I just – I’m just confused. I mean, you took me to a bar, and said you wanted me to meet your friends, and gave me advice, and now you just – I don’t know,” he finishes uncertainly. Chris looks away guiltily.

“Look,” he says, and he’s going to tell Eddie to fuck off, that he hates him, anything to scare him off so Chris can’t ruin him, he really is, but he’s weak and he’s selfish so he just says, “I do want to be your friend,” and hates himself as he says it. Eddie’s face breaks into a relieved smile.

“Okay,” he says, with a happy kind of sigh, and Chris can’t even look at him as he gets out of the car and hurries up to the door, scanning his card and praying he never sees Eddie again but also praying he does.

“Wait!” Eddie calls behind him, and when Chris turns around Eddie’s holding out his keys.

“Oh,” he says, “thanks,” and then he turns and goes inside and doesn’t look back, doesn’t watch Eddie walk away and certainly doesn’t respond to his light “bye!” with a farewell of his own.

[rat-femurs]

I want to see something, Reblog if you're older than 13 and younger than 25.

[docosahexaenoic]

there will come a day where i cannot reblog this

[diesefcknanja]

I still have 5 years to reblog this.

[riku-dawn]

right in there

[frogseyy]

i’ve got time

[falsel0ve-in-reallife-blog]

Reblog if you want a bunch of “have you evers” and “would you rathers” in your ask box right now.

Do this. NOW. Anon is on. Don’t be shy! Make it awkward.

[hxneycoves-deactivated20201226]

Make it super awkward plz I need company

[subconscious-reminiscence]

ill accept literally any asks, be as weird as you possibly can

[myshipsmyotpmylifeistrash]

Reading fanfiction would be a lot faster if I didn’t stop reading and put my phone down for a billion years after every single time I got secondhand embarrassment from the characters or I had to to stop reading cause it was too cute and couldn’t resist rolling around on my bed thinking how my so ship is amazing

[softestvirgil]

This gave me flashbacks

[softboyuris]

Ever just want to watch fanfiction

[boondoctorwho]

@thoughtslikeaminefield @glassjacket

[glassjacket-deactivated20230308]

@isthereroomforbothofus

[mookie-jam-deactivated20200922]

@aboysbestfriendishismum I would kill to see your New Year’s Eve chapter!

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

@mookie-jam What if Angie had filmed it all? 😂

[mookie-jam-deactivated20200922]

@aboysbestfriendishismum YES! But on the other hand imagine a cinematic take with us actually being able to see Eddie’s trip? From the lava cigarette to the mermaids. It would be awesome!

[90sgrungestory]

Chapter 4: Eddie's POV

A/N: This chapter’s a little longer and I’m too tired to come up with a longer author’s note, so please enjoy and leave feedback!

                Eddie is bored.

                He’s been sitting on this hard, lumpy couch for forty minutes, because somehow, they’re still waiting for Stone. Jeff finally called him, but Eddie still is ready to go home, and extremely pissed at the guitarist. He silently wishes he was actually the leader of the band and not a newbie so he could chew him out, but oh well.

                As soon as Eddie sees Stone walk in he feels horribly guilty for being mad at him – Stone looks like a zombie. He barely seems to notice everyone staring, just blankly walks over and picks up his guitar, seemingly waiting for instruction. No one else moves and after a moment Stone seems to notice.

                “Are we practicing?” he murmurs, glancing around hesitantly and then quickly back down. Jeff frowns.

                “Stone, you okay?” he asks softly, touching Stone’s arm. Stone jumps slightly, looking at his hand, and then nods uncertainly. Jeff still looks concerned, but turns back to the band. “Okay, let’s get started,” he says, and Eddie finally, finally gets off the couch.

                They play a couple of songs, and it’s painfully obvious that Stone is operating entirely on autopilot, making frequent mistakes and not even seeming to notice. At one point, Eddie is going over a drum part with Matt when Stone starts noodling around on his guitar. Eddie doesn’t notice much or recognize the song, but Jeff makes a funny noise and when Eddie looks over his face is completely white.

                “Stoney, what the fuck are you doing?” he says shakily, and when Stone doesn’t react Jeff suddenly grabs Stone’s guitar and rips it off of him, causing Mike to yell out an angry “Jeff!” in shock. Stone crosses his arms tightly, staring at the floor, as Jeff stands in front of him, fuming. He lunges forward suddenly and Eddie jumps, thinking he’s going to punch Stone, but then he pulls Stone into a tight hug instead and Eddie looks around in confusion, wondering what he missed. Mike seems sad, but Matt looks equally baffled. Eddie glances back at Stone and Jeff and realizes Stone is crying, a couple of tears trickling down his cheeks as he sniffles. Jeff’s eyes are red too and Eddie is starting to get frustrated. He quietly scoots closer to Mike.

                “Are they okay?” he whispers, and Mike jumps. “That song was a Mother Love Bone song,” he whispers back, and Eddie winces. “Should we do anything?” he asks quietly, and Mike shakes his head.

                “I miss him,” Stone says suddenly, making Eddie startle, and Jeff utters a soft, “me, too.” He glances back at the others. “I think we’re probably done for today,” he mutters, and Eddie nearly sprints out, feeling a little sick. He hates seeing people cry.

                It suddenly occurs to Eddie that Jeff was his ride and he nearly cries himself at the thought of having to pay for a taxi back to his apartment. He paces in the parking lot for a minute, gripping his hair and fighting back tears, before he decides to just start walking home; he thinks for a second he could call Beth, but there’s no phone inside the warehouse and she’s at work anyway.

                It takes Eddie almost two hours to walk the ten-minute drive back to his apartment, and by the time he gets back he’s sweaty and exhausted. So of course Beth calls him the second he gets inside and sinks down on the couch. Eddie almost doesn’t answer, but then he thinks of everything she’s done for him and reluctantly picks up with a mechanical “hello?”

                “Eddie! You will not believe this! Okay, so you know how I was telling you about that thing the other day –”

                “Beth, what do you want?” Eddie snaps, and immediately feels tears well up in his eyes at the guilt. “Sorry,” he mutters, not waiting for her reaction, “just a bad day.”

                There’s a brief pause, and Eddie wonders if she’s mad at him. Then, Beth says, “I’m coming over,” and hangs up.

                Eddie groans out loud, dropping the phone on the floor, and curls up on the couch, tugging up a blanket and hugging his cat close. He flips on the TV and stares at it blankly, vowing not to move again until he absolutely has to. Unfortunately, that doesn’t take long. The doorbell rings about two minutes after he’s finally settled in, and he just yells out, “come in” because he doesn’t feel like getting up. Beth rushes in immediately and sits down next to him, rubbing his back.

                “Hey, what happened?” she asks gently, and Eddie hesitates, realizing how stupid it would sound to say that he’s this pissy because he had to walk home. He releases Bruce and sits up a little, but still doesn’t talk. Beth gives him a look.

                “I don’t know,” he mumbles finally, giving in, and Beth sighs.

                “Eddie, come on,” she says, shaking his shoulder lightly. “Is it money still? Because I’ve been asking around, and I think I can get you a job at that new restaurant, the head chef is friends with my boss.”

                “It’s not that – I mean, yeah, it is, but not right now,” Eddie says miserably. “I just don’t feel well, okay?”

                “Eddie,” Beth says kindly. “I know you. If I don’t drag you out of this funk, you will mope forever.”

                “Go away,” Eddie says, but his lips quirk up despite himself. Beth giggles.

                “Here,” she says, smiling at him, “I brought you a bunch of musicals and gummy worms. What do you want to watch first?”

                Eddie smiles as he accepts the bag of gummy worms. “Did you bring the Sound of Music?”

                Five hours, two pizzas, one six-pack and a big bag of gummy worms later, Eddie feels significantly better, although he does partly blame that on the beer. Beth is asleep under a blanket on the floor, and Eddie is stretched out on the couch, nibbling on the last gummy worm and watching the ending credits of Singing in the Rain. The phone rings loudly and Eddie sighs a little; his night has gone so well that he doesn’t want it to be tainted, and nobody would call him at midnight just to chat.

                “Hello?” he asks cautiously, and nearly faints at the voice that greets him.

                “Hello, Eddie,” his mother says, and Eddie frantically kicks Beth until she wakes up with an irritated grunt. “What the fuck, Eddie –”

                “Shhh!” Eddie hisses, gesturing frantically, and she shuts up as Eddie puts the phone on speaker. He needs the support.

                “What do you want, Mom?” he asks, so Beth knows who he’s talking to, and her eyes widen.

                “Eddie, unfortunately I didn’t call to chat,” his mother says, sounding a little sad. “Your father’s in the hospital, and you need to come see him. He’s not doing well.”

                “Maybe because he’s dead,” Eddie snaps, and hears his mother sigh. “Oh, wait, did you mean my stepfather? Because I think you misspoke.”

                “Eddie, please don’t be cruel to me,” his mother says, and Eddie laughs.

                “Oh, I’m being cruel to you? That’s funny,” Eddie says icily. “And I’m not visiting him anyway.”

                “He didn’t do anything to you, Eddie,” his mother sighs. “Do you really want his death on your hands?”

                “What?” Eddie nearly chokes. “So if I don’t go visit him, all of a sudden it’s my fault he’s dying?”

                “I did not say that, Edward,” his mother says sharply. “Do you have no empathy for a sick man?”

                “At least you got one thing right, he’s definitely sick,” Eddie spits, and Beth high-fives him, nodding vigorously. Eddie’s mother sighs again.

                “I can see I’m not getting through to you,” she says, and Eddie snorts. “I don’t know what we ever did to you to make you hate us like this…”

                “You don’t know what you did –?” Eddie pulls the phone away from his ear in his disbelief. After a minute of listening to his mother’s tinny voice he finally just hangs up and tosses the phone on the floor, rubbing his face tiredly. Beth watches him in concern.

                “Still okay?” she asks cautiously, and Eddie nods.

                “I hate her,” he says, unable to think of anything else to say. Beth reaches over and squeezes his hand. “At least you have me,” she says jokingly, and Eddie smiles weakly.

                “Hey, do you mind if I spend the night?” she asks, settling back down under her blanket. “I basically just ran over because Chelsea blocked my car in again, and I don’t really want to walk home this late.”

                “Yeah, of course, just take the bed,” Eddie says quickly. Beth shakes her head.

                “Don’t be an idiot, Eddie, I’m not taking your bed,” she says calmly, scooting closer. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

                “No, you won’t,” Eddie says with a tiny smile, feeling himself relax slightly. Beth can always make him feel better. “I’m a gentleman, remember?”

                “So am I,” Beth giggles. “And I can easily out-gentleman you.”

                “Oh, sure,” Eddie smirks. “You’re talking to the guy who holds doors open for dogs.”

                “You have no proof,” Beth says, grinning at him. “But, if you were a real gentleman, you’d probably get me more beer…”

                “How can I refuse a fellow gentleman?” Eddie heads into the kitchen and digs through the fridge until he finds some animal beer in the back. He brings them back and Beth pretends to gag.

                “You’re going to make a gentleman drink that shit?” she laughs, and Eddie rolls his eyes.

                “There is nothing wrong with animal beer,” he says, pretending to be offended. “Many broke college students drink this.”

                “Oh, that makes sense, considering you’re a college student,” Beth says sarcastically, taking the beer. Eddie shrugs.

                “I’m college-age, so it still counts,” he says lightly, opening his own beer. Beth snorts.

                “Hardly,” she says. “I’m taking the couch,” and Eddie figures there’s no point in arguing. Beth is incredibly stubborn.

                “Fine,” he says, smiling at her, and drinks his beer.

                The next morning, Eddie wakes up with a raging headache and the feeling that something is very wrong. It takes him less than ten seconds to realize what it is – Beth is laying in bed next to him.

                Naked.

                “Oh, God,” Eddie whispers, yanking the sheets back. They’re both completely, totally naked, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened. He half-considers dressing Beth while she’s still asleep and pretending nothing happens, but even the thought feels a little rapey so he just gets dressed and leaves her to figure it out on her own, like the coward he is.

                Eddie sits on the couch for twenty minutes, trying to figure out what to do, before he hears Beth stirring in the bedroom and panics. He jumps up, nearly faints in a bout of sudden dizziness, and then regains his bearings and bolts, literally jogging down the street in his white T-shirt and flannel pajama pants.

                He makes it a couple of blocks before he has to stop to throw up, and he remembers too late why he hates animal beer. A car pulls up next to him and the window rolls down, and Eddie identifies it as Stone’s car, but it’s an unfamiliar voice that calls, “Need a ride?”

                Eddie whips around, wiping his mouth, and sees Chris leaning out the window. He pauses for a second, and nods, climbing in the passenger’s seat without a word. Chris glances at him, frowning a little as he pulls out.

                “Where’re you headed? Also, are you going to throw up in Stone’s car? Because if you do he’ll probably kill me.”

                “Nah, I’m just a little hungover,” Eddie mumbles. “Animal beer,” he adds, and Chris nods in understanding. “Also I think I had sex with my best friend,” he says suddenly, and Chris’s eyes widen.

                “Oh. Is that bad?”

                “Yes. I mean, I think so,” Eddie mumbles, suddenly embarrassed. “I think we might be kind of dating anyway, but we’ve never really talked about it or anything.”

                “Ah,” Chris says. “I guess I’ve never had that problem.” Eddie glances over and sees that Chris’s eyes are red and puffy, and he looks wiped out.

                “What are you up to?” he asks hesitantly, hoping it isn’t too invasive, and Chris shrugs.

                “Just driving around, I guess. Stone’s acting a little weird, I think he might be mad at me, but he won’t let me go home either, so I’m just avoiding him for a little while. Did you want to go anywhere specific?” His tone makes it clear he’s not going to say anymore about it, and Eddie figures he should just stop asking questions.

                “Uh, no, not really. I’m just avoiding the friend,” he says with a weak smile. “You don’t have to keep driving me around though, you can just drop me off wherever.”

                “No, it’s fine,” Chris says, and turns on the radio. “Just let me know if you see anywhere you want me to stop at.” Eddie nods and settles down, trying to relax and not ask anything rude or invasive. He can only handle the silence for about five minutes before he blurts, “Wow, it’s nice out today.”

                “Yeah,” Chris agrees after a moment, not even glancing at him. Eddie stares out the window. He can’t help but feel like Chris hates him, but then he feels a little dramatic – after all, Chris did pick him up and offer to drive him around for an indefinite amount of time, and he had thought that Chris liked him when they first met. He vows to stay silent until Chris says something, and the next time he sees a coffee shop or maybe a bar, he’ll get out.

                “I’m sorry,” Chris says suddenly, and Eddie jumps. “I know I’m being a little cold.”

                “No, no, it’s fine,” Eddie says quickly. Chris shakes his head.

                “I’m being an ass,” he says with a slight smile, and Eddie laughs weakly. “It’s fine,” he says again, and this time Chris just smiles and nods slightly.

                “You should talk to your friend,” he says suddenly. “I mean, it’s up to you, obviously. But it’s usually better to just deal with it right away.”

                “Yeah, maybe,” Eddie says hesitantly. “But I don’t really have any friends here aside from this person, and I just don’t really want to mess it up.”

                “What about the band?” Chris asks, and Eddie hesitates before answering.

                “They’re… nice,” he says slowly. “But they’re all really close friends, and I just don’t really… fit in, I guess.”

                Chris glances at him and then grins. “Okay,” he says, “I’ll introduce you to some people, and then you’ll work things out with your friend. Deal?”

                Eddie’s wondering why Chris is being so nice, but then he decides he shouldn’t question it. “Deal,” he says, and smiles back.

[grumpytrans]

do u ever wonder if 99% of ur followers are either bots or super inactive blogs bc ya boy has a few thousand + nobody is sending asks or talkin to me so……. to the maybe 10 or 11 followers reading this, i love u