Lord Potato

they/them

[barstoolblues]

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

[uss-emberprise]

[cute-animals-only]

smack

[dopeeeeeeshxt]

Ayeeee

[lightspeedsound]

Adorable, beautiful magic

[green-loaf]

Guys, I think I might be gay

[livsalot]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I do consider Wolverine's interactions with Jean and Scott in the first X-Men movie to be sort of an inverse unicorn hunter scenario. sometimes the unicorn hunts you. aggressively.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the thing is. Logan finally makes one (1) pass at Scott that's so straightforward even Scott can't write it off as homoerotic bickering over Jean, and it sends him into a tailspin. he doesn't even answer he just leaves the room. gracelessly. listen it's 2001 and like, okay, obviously Professor X is gay, Scott knows that, he's fine with it but like. jesus christ. he has enough problems with the whole mutant thing; Scott Summers has not been exploring the lush garden of latent bisexuality. plus he's like SO coupled up with Jean so it doesn't even matter, right? it doesn't even matter and he never had to think about this again, except he does and he's dating a telepath (FUCK) and she Knows something is up and he can't brush it off forever so he tries (fails) to casually bring it up. haha hey Jean you know I always thought Logan had a bit of a crush on you, but I think he tried coming onto me the other day, can you believe it? ("I think he tried coming onto me" here means "he offered to suck my dick with all the subtlety you'd expect from a man who's very popular in truck stop bathrooms," btw.) and Jean Grey, the Dark Phujoshi herself, cannot hide that this is huge for her. this solves so many of her problems. she's salivating and Scott can see it and she's realizing too late oh no Scott was Not into it like that, abort mission hard. except he saw how excited she was for a split second before she got a lid on it, so he knows, and she knows he knows, and he know she knows he knows. and now Scott can't Stop thinking about it, and the more he tries to not think about it the more he does, vicious cycle, and he keeps having these dreams about. well. what if. what if I did let him suck me off a little. which Jean knows about, obviously, because she's a telepath (FUCK). so she knows. and he knows she knows. and she must know that he knows she knows. but neither of them are saying anything about it, just sweating it out while Logan continues to slut around the school in a white tank top pretending he's not playing six dimensional mind game chess to land the plane on this threesome.

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[magical-soup]

There is no such thing as “the evil kill-people disorder that makes you kill people”; it has always been a myth made up by demonization to sell more ableism.

[pyrose-the-flame]

"the evil abuse-people disorder that makes you abuse people" is also a myth, no matter what people on TikTok try to tell you

[fairycosmos]

cradling the em dash in my hands what the fuck have they done to you

[memecucker]

the most elegant dismissal of “why are there pyramids all over the world” that I’ve heard was “what’s the easiest structure to build? A pile of stuff. What if you wanted to make the pile stable? You’d turn it into a pyramid shape” and I forgot where I heard this but it reminds me of “notice how there’s flood myths all over the world” feels a lot less interesting if you ask “notice how civilizations that leave written records are often located next to rivers or other bodies of water and what’s a catastrophic natural disaster that can happen to cities next to bodies of water”

[dovewithscales]

Physics is the same everywhere. Another really obvious example is that the reason the wheel has been invented by different cultures all over the world is because round is the best shape for rolling regardless of where you are in the world. Everyone makes pyramids for the same reason no one has square wheels.

[maxxie-or-smth]

everything is getting worse and thats why it's SO so important that we have fun and hang out and play and im being serious im being unimaginable amounts of serious

[mbmbimbo]

i know everyone loves baby seals, but sometimes i really am blown away by their whimsy. they took a teddy bear and made it a mermaid. i feel very wonderful knowing we live on the same planet as puppy mermaid teddies

[etraytin]

Today’s Best Reddit Exchange

[reynard61]

Let's ambush mama! 😼

[dvandom]

"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"

"Pallas kittens."

[waywardmartian]

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

[bardofvibes]

obligatory @flootzavut tag, lookit!

[vimbry-moved]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[vimbry-moved]

this one's a big hit with the ghosts

[randomslasher]

i'm trying to learn to paint digitally.

[tisafinedayforsimping]

SCROLL BACK UP!!! NOT A PHOTO!!!!

[randomslasher]

omg I got a "not a photo" reblog?? if I knew how to add emojis I'd put a teary smiley face right here

[prodigalwitch]

LET'S GO WOMEN

[stuckinapril]

I love the whole 30 is the new 21 trend like yes queen so true. Your 30s are not for having children and settling down. They are for traveling, building your career, and going to the CLUB. Freeze ur eggs if u must I don’t care. Any 30 something year old woman who’s choosing to enjoy her newfound financial stability and not spend it in an unhappy marriage has my wholehearted stamp of approval.

[jellyish]

I wish there were different words for the different types of forgetting because  when I say I forgot something, I don’t mean “I forgot we had plans on Friday.” I almost always mean “I forgot today was Friday.” I know my friend’s birthday is on March 20th, but I won’t wish her happy birthday on time because I won’t know it’s March 20th on March 20th. My forgetfulness has nothing to do with not caring about/remembering events and everything to do with my inability to keep up with the passage of time.

[bogleech]

My most common one is being 100% certain I did the thing already because the memory of doing it and the memory of intending to do it are the same mental images.