professional dumbass @a-groundwalker - Tumblr Blog

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Hi im Anakin. an introject thats part of leafstem.

i dont know much about my source weve never seen it so come infodump about it to me please

im trans and aroace-spec

icon picrew: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1706331

url from a joke that a headmate wont stop making (save me)

My tags:

ani.txt - my posts

ani.png - my art

my son - the time i stole a plant from body parent and i called it my son

ani has opinions on ships - making fun of ships (note: THE VESSELS. BOATS. I FORGOT ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS EXISTING ITS NOT THOSE. ITS THE OTJER SHIPS)

#ani.txt

cryingbard

That's not fair.

(If you want to see me vent I'm on tiktok, @cryingbard)

dannirr00ni

okay so dont hurt me like this

uss-edsall

It would be an insane disaster in every possible way, but christ, it’d be so fucking funny if the Icon of the Seas ran aground and sank

uss-edsall

Crew of 2,350. Maximum passenger occupancy of 7,600. Twenty decks (eleven of them passenger) with seven pools, nine hot tubs, six water slides, fifteen bars, eight “neighbourhoods” aboard of venues and amenities, an ice skating rink, rock climbing wall, casino.

Your honour, I think she is an affront to G-d and needs to be euthanised

uss-edsall

The average American city’s block is between 265 and 330 feet long. Icon of the Seas is 1,196.7 feet long. Your honour I’m afraid she’s a bit more than three and a half blocks long. Three and a half blocks times twenty. She is seventy two and a half city blocks

#ani has opinions on ships

uss-edsall

It would be an insane disaster in every possible way, but christ, it’d be so fucking funny if the Icon of the Seas ran aground and sank

uss-edsall

Your honour, I think she is an affront to G-d and needs to be euthanised

#ani has opinions on ships

orcboxer

my most controversial ship? heh...the Thomas W Lawson

orcboxer

motherfucker unlimited

orcboxer

you like that? I got more, how bout the SS Bessemer

This experimental piece o' shit, courtesy of Sir Henry Bessemer, had a stabilized cabin meant to combat seasickness. Unfortunately, due to the kinetic consequences of building a ship like that, it also combatted seaworthiness, and the instant this thing touched water it enthusiastically slammed itself into the pier with all the grace of a twelfth round boxer.

Not to be deterred, Bessemer repaired the ship, hired a veteran sea captain, slapped the stern and sent her out for a second go. The ship then proceeded to crash into the Same Fucking Pier even harder, demolishing it.

The SS Bessemer, her bloodlust satiated, retired from the cruise ship life and settled down in Swanley, where she became a billiard room, and then a lecture hall, and then rubble, due to an encounter with bombs.

This one's for the SS Bessemer. Rest in peace you wild bitch.

#ani has opinions on ships #my opinion is i agree with op

leafstem

happy 1st birthday @a-groundwalker

a-groundwalker

thanks. but also fuck you. not a baby

#just because im 2 years younger than the body and majority of us #doesnt mean im a baby >:(#what about the actual children. you dont make fun of them #im claiming the warship pin as my birthday present

retquits

chaoticbatfam

Jason: *walks into living room and pauses, looking at tim* uh Tim: *frowns as he looks up from a book* what? Jason: um. Tim: dude. Spit it out. Jason: *still staring* you like that book? Tim: yeah I’m really loving it! It’s a new bestseller, Steph recommended it. It’s a fun fantasy. ‘S got dragons and the romance is nice and Jane Austen-esque. You should read it, it’s right up your alley. Jason: uh. Okay. I’ll, uh, look into it. And, uh, what about the author? Know anything about them? Tim: *frowns* aside from the fact that there’s like, no information about them, no Jason: *chuckles nervously* ah, yeah. Haha.

Jason, later to his editor: hey can we change my pseudonym? I wanna use “Todd Peter” and see how long it takes for my brother to yell at me editor: Jason that’s not how pseudonyms work

ladydoptera

#Jason: actually never mind. I have a better idea.

#Editor: I feel like I should be scared for your brother

#Jason: probably. *hangs up*

#A week later:

#Jason: guess what i got tickets to? A book signing for that book you like!

#Tim: cool!

#Jason: I’ll meet you there at four tonight

#Later

#Tim: *texting jason* where are you? I’m already in line

#Jason: *texting back from the signing table* youll see

This is every writer's fantasy (or at least in my case) where a family member/friend enjoys their writing without knowing that they are the author, the different reactions of each author to the situation feed my soul, and Jason is no slouch. Thank you so much for this idea that will never leave my head.

papayafromtv

i do love the idea of the Justice League finding out Batman’s identity and the fact that he’s actually just a tired vigilante dad and immediately discrediting his spooky-scary-intimidating reputation, and Bruce just being devastated about it. he worked so hard on that reputation, on that respect, and it’s all down the drain just like that. nobody flinches away from his glare anymore, because they’ve seen him glare at Red Hood and get a spoonful of mashed potato flung into his face for the effort. nobody cares about his threats anymore, because he tried to threaten Red Robin to go home and rest one time and Tim just giggled at him deliriously before mocking his tone and stealing his coffee. they’ve seen him pick a splinter out of a whining Nightwing’s finger mid-meeting. Damian once called him a condomless harlot to his face when he told him not to bring his swords onto the watchtower. he’s lost control.

he decides he wants the fear factor back and in all his brilliant genius, he decides the best way to go about that is to invite the league round for a fancy dinner party, specifically so he can use all his ‘brucie wayne’ acting skills to channel the essence of every creepy-rich-guy-in-haunted-manor movie he has ever seen in his life. it is the only time his kids have been fully onboard and willing to contribute to one of his plans without any complaints. they almost seemed more eager to pull it off than he was.

they spend the entire day making the manor look old and slightly abandoned, much to Alfred’s displeasure, and ensure that the only lighting is a fuck ton of candles, just enough to light the halls while leaving the corners and edges shadowy and ominous. Damian is allowed to have some of his more ‘skittery’ pets roam the manor freely for the night, causing occasional scritches and scratches to come from the ceilings. all of the kids dress in their best funeral attire, apart from Jason who gleefully pulls on an old white shirt stained with blood from when Tim crashed through his window with a stab wound, requesting a medkit.

when the league arrive they’re greeted by all the kids lined up on the staircase, staring at them blankly and ominously, while Bruce gives them all a large grin and ushers them into the creepy looking dining room. the league are somewhat nervous.

during the dinner the kids act completely different than the league have seen them in-mask. polite, cordial, and refusing to show an ounce of emotion. they pick at their food and only speak in vague sentences that refer to various horrific events of their past. Bruce has never been prouder.

the first close call they have to breaking character is when Bruce presents a bottle of red wine without any kind of label. as he pours a slightly disturbed Diana a glass, she asks where he got it from. Bruce happily gestures to Jason as says ‘my second eldest procured it especially for you, earlier today.’

Diana looks across the table at where Jason is grinning eerily at her by candlelight, still visibly stained with blood, eyes glowing slightly green. she pales, and Tim knows he can’t watch her shakily lift the glass to her lips without bursting out laughing. he refuses to be the one who fucks up first, so he dramatically stands up and declares he must ‘go feed the experiments’ before storming out the room. ‘the experiments’ are in reference to the pen of rabbits outside that glow in the dark because Damian rescued them from a testing facility, but given the environmental context it sounds much more sinister.

Jason joins him by the pen to also start wheeze-crying in private about 20 minutes later, because apparently after Oliver Queen had finished with his bbq rib, Damian had leaned over and without blinking stared into his eyes to blankly state ‘i would love to feed your bones to my animal friends, if you don’t need them anymore.’ and from the other end of the table Jason had snorted wine up his nose from how hard he was trying not to break.

amazingly, they never break character, although it came pretty close when after hearing another skitter from somewhere above, Stephanie climbed up from the table into the crystal chandelier and deftly returned to present the table with a large tarantula cradled in her hands, to which Damian stood up and declared, ‘ah, dessert! i will help pennyworth prepare it.’ before taking the animal and leaving to put his beloved spider back in it’s enclosure. the league genuinely seemed to be under the impression they were about to be served a tarantula-based desert, and upon seeing their faces at this realisation Dick had to pretend he’d dropped a fork on the ground so he could duck by Bruce’s chair and stuff a napkin in his mouth while he got his laughter under control. Bruce pats his shaking son’s back below the table cloth, determinedly staring at their guests with that same creepy-grin he’d kept up the entire night.

every member of the league makes their excuses to leave early, much to Bruce’s exaggerated disappointment. the second the last of them is out the door Alfred turns to face the family and says ‘mission accomplished. now get this manor back to it’s proper state.’ and they have the spend the rest of the night cleaning.

totally worth it, in Bruce’s mind. none of the JL will look him in the eye for weeks afterwards, and it was honestly the most successful attempt at family bonding they’d ever had. he wonders if they should make it a monthly thing. It’s also how they find out Damian’s a fucking theatre kid with a gift for the arts which is another revelation in of itself

u-n-k-n-o-w-n-n

thatrandomsarahchick

Make a mention of Joker Junior here if they ask about the 'episode'

One of the glow in the dark rabbits definitely needs to be carried by someone as a League member walks past as they're going to the toilet.

Duke definitely needs to fade into the shadows after saying something about being the bat signal.

"The sun has set, my family, it is time to depart. I shall shine in the sky when you are needed, else I shall see you at sunrise tomorrow"

"What?"

"Oh, Duke is the manifestation of the bat signal. Enough people believed in them that they gained corporeal form. Pass the peas?"

As he fades out, Cass comes out from the shadows he melted into, taking his seat at the table and putting food on a new plate. Those who know ASL recognise her saying 'portal secured. the Hell Realm is closed for the day.'

Stephanie signs back 'mission successful, as usual?'

Cass nods, then ignores them to stare intently into a different shadowed corner as she eats.

shubbabang

yet another adhd comic

Patreon | Webtoon

foone

This comic will only get funnier with time

kaijuno

Boyfriend tells me I’m banned from fixing things around the house now >:(

kaijuno

God forbid women do anything

kaijuno

Where do u think I got the afterburner lol

prlssprfctn

Jason Todd, who tries to do his Red Hood reveal in front of the whole family, all at once, but they are so sleep-deprived that instead of accepting an obvious answer, they come up with the most insane theories.

Jason, spreading his arms wide: The answer is already here, and you know it. Come on, the world's great detective — look at me, and tell, why would the random criminal lord avenge for your son? Hm?

Dick, snapping his fingers: You are his childhood friend! Right?!

Jason: What—

Dick: You knew everything about us. You knew Jason better than we did. It is obvious. You are a kid that he must befriended during his days on the streets. You are avenging for him because we failed him!

Tim, shaking his head: Dick, come on—

Jason: Yeah, exactly, just—

Tim, with the insane glint in his eyes: They were clearly lovers, not friends.

Jason: ...What.

Tim: It is obvious. Just look at him at his desperation. That's more than friendship.

Jason: Come on, Bruce, you can't possibly allow them to be this stupid.

Bruce, sipping on his coffee: No, I won't.

Bruce, turning to Dick and Tim: It is Willis Todd.

Dick, Tim, and Jason in the unison: What—

(Hours later, Jason's safe house)

Jason: ...And then he goes! (clears up his throat to imitate Bruce's voice) "Willis Todd's grave was always empty, but I hadn't paid attention to this fact!" What an insane thing to fucking admit, by the way!

Talia, on the Facetime, doing her nails: Perhaps it is a family trait - to leave the coffins empty... Anyway, what happened after?

Jason: They come up with another theory. Now, they think that Red Hood is "Jason's" reincarnation. Souls switched and stuff. Dunno. They planned to call Constantine, but I left.

Talia: I feel like a nap would resolve this issue.

Jason: Yeah, definitely. But that's not my problem.

Talia: Naturally. But you look happy.

Jason, smirking: I got to annoy the hell of this family without even getting revealed and dealing with the aftermath. Of course, I am happy. Also, Alfred clocked me, but just packed me a lemon pie and invited for a tea ceremony later this week.