Kris had to keep her spark as steady as she could, it felt like it was literally burning inside of her. “I wanted to explore… I truly did get lost and trapped in that trench or whatever…. Didn’t know you still existed and at the time I couldn’t care. It was terrifying happenstance to awaken somewhere foreign and isolated and begging to be let go by the mech I only had one impression of back on earth? Tell me, how well would those odds have been. At first I was scared of you and I just wanted to survive and explore who I am now as ‘this’. Please bear with me, I know you do not appreciate my lack of focus, but I am no soldier and I have to take pauses to sort myself.”
It felt a little like the debriefing, it was painful to reopen those emotions. “So the hiking vacation with my family, hearing the skirmish or whatever, being too damn curious and losing my only family to a war we shouldn’t have ever seen…” Kris recapped quickly, her eyes narrowing as she glared down at the shelf. How was she going to give him the details? She couldn’t. He would want the information, he deserved to know the factors involved. Yet… part of her feared she would be rejected. Foolish. It was foolish judgments and emotional decisions and she wanted him to trust her but that was out the window. Right? Gods this life was so complicated now. The tiny femme groaned and rubbed her face in her frustration. “I hated you as just a human for so long, even when we first met on your homeworld, but here’s a little thing we humans seem to be able to embrace….”
Kris looked up at her leader, her winglord, and one she called friend in her spark, even if he rejected her. “I can look you in the optics and say without any trace of remorse, hatred, bitterness, or resentment that with all that has happened, I forgive you. I forgave you years ago, before the rust sea. Do you think I would have risked surviving to find the mech that unintentionally made my family a casualty of war? You aren’t perfect, by gods no one is, well… Cirrus is pretty close but that’s more innocence, but refocusing! I choose to forgive and love and be the best I can be to better reach the dream you set alight in my spark of a rebuilt Vos. I won’t ask for forgiveness for hiding our shared past, that’s too much to ask or hope for, but I wanted you to know someone forgives you on purpose, without ill intent or to smooth anything over. That means what hurt and pain and loss I had? That weight will never be held over your head, ever.”
“I really… really don’t want to talk about when MECH experimented on me though…. Please… m-may I pass over that?”
Starscream only hardened as Kris talked. He understood why she lied. She’d been scared. She should be scared. That understanding did nothing to settle his building anger, nor did her request to bear with her. She’d already enjoyed far more of his patience than she deserved.
When she suddenly began talking about forgiving him, he bristled, wings hiking up in agitation. He needed answers not… whatever this was! Finally she came back to the topic, with another request. Another delay..
“Fine!” Starscream snapped, slamming his claws down on Kris’s shelf, near enough for their wind to move her feathers. “Skip over your time with MECH. I will tear my answers from those vile humans and their computers when I locate them!”
He drew himself up, forcing the tension out of his frame, steadying his wings to a commanding flair. He was reeling and needed control.
“Don’t forgive me until we see how the rest of this conversation goes,” he said. A threat, as sharp as the talons that pierced a little deeper into the shelf. Whatever she was talking about wasn’t something he understood - wasn’t something he could let himself understand. Not in this moment. Not when his own staggering failure was screaming at him, setting off every alarm in his mind. A massive security breach - allowing in someone who knew who he was and knew about MECH - someone who was so astoundingly, obviously suspicious - someone who was impossible to be what she was and where she was if not for connections to his enemies - and he’d just let it happen. Because of sentiment. No more. He stepped closer, between Kris and the light.
This was now an interrogation.
The role of interrogator came back to Starscream with practiced smoothness, the familiarity offering the control he needed. Control. Repeat the questions until you get answers. Control, with pain if necessary. His optics shone with a hard light. He could cause her pain. Sentiment be damned.
“I’ll ask only once more.” His voice was low, but in the chilling silence he knew it would be heard. “The complete timeline. When, why, and how did you get to Cybertron? Who showed you how? No. More. Lies.”
