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Work in progress, what more could I ask for? So sorry if you got a weird (spam) message from me lately. My account got hacked 🫠

[normal-horoscopes]

Everyone shut up and look at this carving of a whale from the 1200-600 CE Chumash culture

[theslowesthnery]

ohhhhhh my godddddd

[everyday-cutephoto]

[creekmotel]

[shu-bullshit]

Made a little fireworks because I'm nostalgic

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[tigorubico]

[moldavite]

my fav thing in the entire world is witnessing people try new things. almost teared up at this bc i love it so much

[ampervadasz]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[midiport]

[twilightdomain]

video description: a tiktok by @weezerroll. a person is clumsily and hesitantly playing a bass guitar, until the camera person places a white and brown rat on the bass player's head while firmly saying, "Ratatouille." their playing suddenly improves while the rat shifts its footing on their head. end description

[skippyisntfunny]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

[wizardshark]

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

[spooky-narwhal]

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

[cheesepossum]

[halfhardtorock]

:\/ !!!!

[humanpersonface]

[tallsa]

[nicoleartist]

I love that human humor has basically never changed thousands of years ago we were still shitposters

[heartsnmagic]

[michellechang]

that one diva with the dandelion crayon collection got crayola to permanently bring it back

[casismybestfriend]

[titsay]

[pookapufferfish]