AAAAAAH

Hey, I'm Abbie

[minutia-r]

Imagine a fae who is just so mad about the idea of lying, like, I have spent a thousand years studying the subtle arts of deceit, weaving my spells of glamour and misdirection, and you, human, can just stand there and

say things 

that aren’t true

[hotcawfee]

“So yeah, I’m, uh, bright purple.”

“But you’re not! That’s not even plausible! How can you just - you are not even puce. Fine. Fine. Another one.”

“Are you sure? You seem pretty mad.”

“I assure you I am wholly and terribly sane.”

“Heh, you know that’s not the kind I meant.”

“Hssssss.”

“Haha, fine, fine. I’m … a dragon.”

“nO YOU’RE NOT THOUGH–”

[wolfinmyribcage]

This is a fucking hilarious concept.

[popsunner]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[popsunner]

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

[popsunner]

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

[popsunner]

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

[popsunner]

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

[popsunner]

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me

[dankmemeuniversity]

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Mood.

Last Week Tonight (10/27/19)

[weloveshortvideos]

[tallqtpi-deactivated20150502]

god i hate old people

[danteuwk]

OH MY GOD

[bookwormingparty]

[tulpa2-deactivated20191122]

[lordmeowdemort]

Marshmallow tacos

[noctomania]

just watch and you will understand

[ambris]

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that

[not-a-space-alien]

Does anyone else feel, like, a weird inhibition against starting new TV shows?  Like, there are shows I want to watch but when I think about sitting down to start it something in me goes “no you can’t just do that.”  What am i waiting for?  I feel like I need to prepare?  Brain:  You have to wait.  Me:  Wait for what???  Brain:  WAIT

[supmer-deactivated20180609]

me when i’m sad: …..i should……buy stuff…..

[insomniac-arrest]

what is it about fungi that’s so mythical and freaky and set in humanities heads as “fable and Other Folk” fodder

the lore

the vibes

the spooky feeling in the Ghosts and Aliens Section of my brain that goes off

like, look at this and tell me that magic isn’t real and doesn’t want to strip us bare and use our souls as bartering chips in cosmic games of poker

[doodadeals]

“im learning another language” can only mean two things:

I have been studying this language for over a decade please forgive any mispronunciation im still learning

i have a 2 day streak in duolingo and IM REALLY FEELING IT THIS TIME

[fyghibli]

[solarsyrup]

what’s that noise.

[solarsyrup]

sounds like a graveyard smash

[solarsyrup]

i’m going to check

[solarsyrup]

the……. monsters…. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….

[tiktoks-we-like]

[snekromancy]

[dollopheadedmerlin]

This is it. This is the entire pet care experience in one video

[pipebomb-malewife-deactivated20]

DENNIS NOT THE LIGHT

NONONONO

[purplegfdgirl]

DENNIS NO DON’T GET BURNED OH GOD OH FUCK

[secondclassvines]

[mongolian-ass-eater]

I see stuff like this every once in a while and it reminds me the kids are still alright

[knucklehead--mcspazatron]

I have no idea what is going on but I watched this like 20 times

[bambilivesinatree]

Ok but the best part is just the parent mowing the lawn without batting an eye.

They probably saw this rehearsed a million times.