[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[i-like-to-think-that-im-cool]

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

[kuma-kami]

Visit Original Link

[snowdaysforever]

DELETE THIS POST

[theoldspaceevibes-deactivated20]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[froborr]

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

[hikikostar]

WOW

[timegodzo]

I’m so furious.

[ghoulishly-yours]

WOW OKAY THEN

[antivanruffles]

@antivanonmytongue

[myymsie]

@anouroboros @rhilyn @thegildedgun @only-the-stars

[itsapmseymour]

“okay what’s the ca-OHSNAPITSABANGER”

[lorileopard]

I can guaren-fucking-tee it, you’d never believe that I knew EXACTLY what this was gonna be. Holy shit fuck.

[forgamers]

[taragrimface]

oblivion is an abysmal game and everyone should play it

[lesbyterianchurch]

Farewell!

[spiralstaircased]

wizards be being named merlon and wearing blue robes with little stars on em

[jakemorph]

name ONE wizard who is like this…

[spiralstaircased]

merlon the wizard

[burkgolden]

okay question: do other D&D players also make memes about what happened in session? if so, reblog w your out of context memes I would love to see them

[abelcain]

[inima]

certified freak. 5 days a week (im in a union)

[direhuman]

D&D Clerics should use Intelligence instead of Wisdom, there I said it

Religion is an Intelligence skill

Strong association with religious texts and holy books

Both “cleric” and “clerk” come from the same word origins, denoting either a member of a clergy or a worker in charge of writing, organization, and filing

Would better differentiate Clerics from Druids, one being more ‘structured’ in doctrine and the other one more ‘intuitive’

D&D needs more Int classes

Thank you for your time, you can’t change my mind

[abelcain]

1. Ok so I was equally pissed off when I made my first Paladin and used INT as a dump stat since they use CHA to cast spells.

My fucking HOLY WARRIOR using DIVINE POWER and dedicating his ENTIRE LIFE to WORSHIPPING HELM would fucking regularly fail religion checks ON HIS OWN RELIGION. Then the fucking ARTIFICER who did nothing but build shit in a workshop his whole life would pass checks and EXPLAIN THE PALADINS OWN RELIGION TO HIM!

Turns out both of us just use that skill wrong and should often be substituting our charisma or wisdom modifiers instead (the PHB has a whole section on using alternate ability scores on rolls).

2. We often think about INT being book smarts and WIS being street smarts, but really wisdom in practice is just specialized knowledge about certain things. A cleric doesn’t have a huge knowledge of every subject. They focus on a specific domain, or a specific god, and MASTER the FUCK out of everything in that related field. Lacking the INT stat by no means implies they lack knowledge.

[dndaddyissues]

If you were a D&D character, what would your best stat be? What about your dump stat?

[abelcain]

High intelligence and strength absolutely no dex or wisdom.

This Thursday I had to deliver a ridiculously shaped 147 pound package in a crushed up uncarriable box.

Int roll to craft a carrying contraption. Strength check to carry it down the longest driveway in existence.

Failed dex save caused me to knock over every Christmas decoration and slip on the ice on the steps.

If I had any wisdom at all I would have just left it at the fucking mailbox and skipped all of that.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Common Sense Can Be Useful

My friend was playing DnD with her family, and her dad had never played before.

Party: *just finished a huge fight in a dungeon that had a door on either side of the room*

DM: “Okay, so as you all look at the fallen corpses around the room, you hear the sound of many heavy footsteps behind you. From down the corridor, you can see more creatures coming to attack you.”

Dad: “I shut the door.”

DM: “What?”

Dad: “You said the doors are magical and will always be locked shut unless you have the special key to open them. We have the key. I shut the door, and they can’t get in behind us.”

DM: “That’s… okay, fine. You shut the door.”

They skipped the entire next half of the fight and were able to eventually circle around and avoid that group of creatures on the way out.

[abelcain]

One time we came to a heavy iron door.

Rogue spends 20 minutes failing to pick the lock.

Fighter tries over and over to force it open with brute strength.

Finally the Barbarian gets completely fed up, grabs his maul, and breaks through the fucking decrepit brick wall like the koolaid man, completely bypassing the door.

[abelcain]

Shower thought: in Dnd half elves are super common- but since elves go into trances instead of sleeping, the idea of ever cohabitating with an elf significant other would be WAY TOO FREAKY.

You’re in bed sleeping- meanwhile your elf partner is up like:

Too scary, sorry we need a divorce.

[someemochick]

[dnd-doodles-and-dragons]

So sorcerers seem to kinda correspond to monster types with leads to odd but fun ideas for what could happen in the future

Aberrant Mind - aberration Clockwork Soul- construct  Draconic Bloodline- dragon Divine Soul- celestial Shadow- undead Storm- elemental  Wild Magic - fey

what we still have then is

beast

fiend 

giant( though there is a ua)

humanoid( which seems pointless but could be funny.)

monstrosity 

ooze :)

plant

all of which could be fun if made 

[abelcain]

Correct but they don’t just correspond, they’re blood relatives of one of those beings that was somehow born with some of their ancestor’s extra abilities. Which is kind of cool.

But also makes clockwork souls the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard of. TCE says “you have powers coming from the Modron on Mechanus and your ancestor was probably in a modron march” (every few hundred years these things all march past a realm and try to see if a powerful artifact is there)

You expect me to believe that as millions of these barely sentient dice robots clanked by our world, my great great great great great grandmother would get herself into some uncontrollable lustful frenzy? And run out into the neverending river of robots just to have sex with a toaster in front of everybody?

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: First rule of battle, Bard: Don't ever let them know where you are.

Barbarian: *screaming at the top of their lungs* I'm right here! You want some of this??

Rogue: Of course, there are other schools of thought.

[abelcain]

Oath of Glory Paladin is probably the worst subclass mechanically, but Devereaux is definitely the most fun PC I’ve played by far.

“Paladins who take the Oath of Glory believe they and their companions are destined to achieve glory through deeds of heroism. They train diligently and encourage their companions so they're all ready when destiny calls.”

Instead of being in the normal paladin role of lawful good tank, the whole core purpose of the Oath is to just do as much cool shit as possible.

And continuously aiming to do that in combat more than makes up for how subpar the subclass features are due to how much fun it can be.

Devereaux will often realize that tanking isn’t providing the feats of glory he desires, and tends to randomly head off to go attempt absurd feats instead- in the middle of encounters.

•The party snuck into a goblin keep and fought the king at the top of the tower. When the boss fight failed to meet his expectations, he threw down his shield, grappled the boss, jumped out the window with him and plummeted to the courtyard below so every goblin would witness their king being absolutely destroyed before getting executed. Then Devereaux put on the crown, held up the severed head, and named himself their new king.

•Halfway into a fight against a dragon, Devereaux decided riding the dragon would be far more glorious than just tanking. Half the party got wrecked from unexpectedly losing their tank, but he succeeded mounting the dragon. After flying straight up and attempting to shake him off to fall to his death, Devereaux used a thunderous smite to cause both himself and the dragon to plummet to the ground. Dragon died on impact, and Devereaux went to 0hp but barely survived and was able to be stabilized.

•Too many enemies in an encounter? Use the oath of glory channel divinity to turn into the hulk, grab two of them and sprint away with them and leave them locked in a separate room. Being able to sprint into groups of enemies and just carry two of them away helplessly each round just feels so satisfying. Even more so if you jump 30 feet high to leave them stranded up on a roof- or if there’s a cliff/crevasse and you can just effortlessly grab enemies and drop them over the edge over and over.

But my favorite part is that despite causing his party members to get messed up all the time from his unexpected heroics, his constant encouragement and praise allow him to stay on good terms.

[that-spider-witch]

Was anyone gonna tell me that Half-Elves could be more than just half-human...

…Or was I supposed to read Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount and find out myself?

The idea of elves forming relationships and even having children with people of other humanoid races has long since been accepted throughout Kryn lands—so much so that it seems somewhat unnatural when people outside the culture express surprise at half-elves with small, minotaur-like horns, or with the tufted ears and yellow eyes of a bugbear.

Tufted ears

TUFTED. EARS.

Tuft… MATT, DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW FUCKING PRECIOUS THAT SOUNDS???

Do you mean to tell me I could have made a Half-Elf with fluffy, tufted ears ever since this book got published and NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF TELLING ME THAT?!?!

[abelcain]

I guess they changed that since 4e.

Also, I think it’s absolutely INSANE that gnomes can’t breed with halflings but somehow ORCS CAN BREED WITH QUAGGOTHS AND HAVE BABY HALF ORC HALF BEAR MONSTERS

[scarilydark]

hey, i have a question for people who’ve played homebrew campaigns, what’s the most creative character you’ve made, that doesn’t involve homebrew classes? like, using an official class/subclass, but adding flavor or some homebrew alteration to the base to fit your needs. example: i’ve been playing a pokemon campaign, and we’re all wildshape druids, except we’ve flavored our wildshape abilities as us capturing pokemon, there is some changes to fit better, but at the end of the day, we’re still wildshape druids with flavor. 

[abelcain]

Orc bard/rogue. Flavored him as having no charisma or subtlety and usually succeeding skill checks by terrifying NPCs.

>At noble’s party, being the bard entertainment. Pass performance check. Yeorg’s instrument was just a giant drum he banged at random intervals while screeching at the top of his lungs. Flavored it as the NPCs being so fucking uncomfortable that they gave him a standing ovation out of fear.

>Whenever party asked him to unlock chests and he’d succeed the lockpick check, that meant he was either smashing the chest with his “maul” if it was big or flinging the chest against a wall if it was small.

>Succeed pickpocket check while stealthed- flavor it to have Yeorg lift the NPC up by his ankles and shake him upside down so his items fall out, and the NPC would be too intimidated to do anything hostile.

[thecooltrashcat]

Robots

By Greg-guillemin