Huh? What?

Jude | They/He| 24 as a general rule I don't frequently tag anything unless it's to whisper a small little comment into my mutuals' dash

[absolute-thottery]

you know in the sims how they can die from being too silly

[it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact]

[aboutoriginality]

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

Flat Fuck and his big beautiful plastic wife

[andhumanslovedstories]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[andhumanslovedstories]

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

[thomrainierskies]

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

[zenosanalytic]

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

[morethanonebraincell]

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

[ziggy-scardust]

I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[frogandtoadpdf]

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

[lakevida]

[beeelderly]

not doin any of that mr ms mrs mx business . unfortunately i dont have a robust enough academic or medical background to be called doctor. but i could go by Mt. aka mount. aka mountain. the only thing you can glean from that is that im big as fuck

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[voidcreations]

Look at my birthday cake...

[ashlgcostumes]

As someone who is both trans and has a child, absolutely hilarious to me that society presents one of these as absolutely only to be done if you are 110% certain and have proved to several people that you want it bad enough and are ready, and the other is like. You might as well everyone else does. Just do it nobody feels ready. You don’t want to? Yes you do

Especially since one of those is pretty reversible if you change your mind after a couple years and the other one, well, technically but that’s pretty frowned upon

[roberttingle]

annoying when shows set in the medieval period have the women with thier hair just long and unstyled and out . girl go put on your wimple girl 🤦‍♀️

[elvensilk]

like there are so many fun medieval hair and headgear options, it's so boring just seeing loose beachy waves meant to appeal to 21st century beauty standards

put that hot prince in a gay little hood with an ostrich feather or so help me god

[mshfar2a]

I don't like to admit it, but sometimes I actually miss John Green.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Sometimes I can almost hear him.

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[corvid-language-library]

The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be done with it and the sooner you can stop thinking about it. Go on, up you get, it won't be as bad as you think.

[corvid-language-library]

You won't want to do it later either. You might as well just do it now. Even if you don't finish it all, anything you manage to get done now is something you don't have to do later (when you still won't want to do it)

[tenmillionpoundsofsludge-deacti]

I hate when I drink all of my drink and there's no drink left. What the fuckkkkkkk. #sickandtwisted

[spinecutter-archive]

my writing gland is purple and swollen

[spinecutter-archive]

my friendship gland is black and shriveled