
Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
DEAR READER

#extradirty

pixel skylines

tannertan36
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Product Placement

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
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Three Goblin Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith

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⁂
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Keni

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@accio-boobs
I want Terry Crews and Vin Diesel to do a buddy cop movie where they are both secret nerds but they don’t want the other to know. Like Vin Diesel plays D & D on weekends and Terry likes to create epic crossover fan art. Somehow they have to work undercover at Comic Con and for what ever reason I need Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain.
I’d like to add: not a character played by Dan Radcliffe. Dan Radcliffe, appearing as himself.
no, no wait… I want Elijah Wood to play Daniel Radcliffe.
Elijah Wood plays Daniel Radcliffe and his evil sidekick is Elijah Wood played by Daniel Radcliffe
hey straight people how’s that going for you?
fine actually. how’s being intolerant of nature’s choices going for you?
it’s going real great! i don’t understand why the leaves fall off the fucking trees in the winter and it pisses me off
Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
my neighbourhood has never had an ice cream truck. in the summer, we have the knife sharpening truck. it slowly circles the block and rings its ominous bell. i have never seen someone interact with it. it may be that only those marked by death can see it
alex??? this is truly frightening ??
i never really thought about it much until today but you’re right this is honestly a messed up thing for me to be accustomed to
"Not all men"
You’re right Peter Parker wouldn’t do this
on an unrelated note i don’t think that guy spider-man would, either.
thor’s outfits, rated
thor 1:
basic, functional, ultimately forgettable. 4/10
avengers:
more of the same. better hair but still obviously a wig. nice display of muscles. 5/10
poncho:
GLORIOUS. radiant. brings out his eyes. 9/10
thor 2:
hair looks spectacular but still little change in the basic outfit formula. beard less garish yellow which is always a plus. 7/10
age of ultron:
stray hairs framing his face?? the v neck?? the collar popping like his pussy?? absolute icon. 10/10
this monstrosity:
baggy? hideous? thor babe what the fuck are you doing. you look like a destitute trucker. 0/10.
thor 3:
GOD the off the shoulder cape… buzz cut… tasteful pieces of contrasting armour… bisexual icon. 10/10.
bonus:
what can i even fucking say? the board shorts??? the washboard abs paired with the floaty whatever the fuck that shirt is?? the fact that he’s in bare feet??? i know i throw around the word “iconic” but. truly. bicon. 11/10.
“it’s like freud always said,” says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily
#do NOT say the name of this foul creature out loud in my house
(´з`)⊃~
“You know mistletoe is important to Druids but do you know why people kiss under the mistletoe? It’s a Norse myth. Baldur the son of Odin was the most beloved by the other gods. So much that they wanted to protect him from all the dangers in the world. His mother, Frigg, took an oath from fire and water, metal, stone and every living thing, that they would never hurt Baldur. At a gathering, they tested him. Stones, arrows and flame were all hurled at him. Nothing worked. But there was one god that wasn’t so enamored of Baldur, the god of mischief, Loki. Loki discovered that Frigg had forgotten to ask mistletoe, a tiny, seemingly harmless plant and completely overlooked. Loki fashioned a dart out of mistletoe and it killed Baldur. Frigg was heartbroken. She decreed that mistletoe would never again be used as a weapon and that she would place a kiss on anyone who passed under it. So now we hang mistletoe underneath our door during the holidays so that we will never overlook it again.”
Reblogging again because SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT WHERE SANTA CAME FROM AND WHY HE HAS EIGHT REINDEER DO IT.
@systlin why?
OKAY BUCKLE UP CHILDREN
Santa? Is Odin. With a bit of the Turkish Saint Nicholas plastered over top to make him more acceptable to Christianity.
Let’s wind this back a bit.
So. In Norse tradition, Odin rose with the wild hunt on Midwinter. Children would leave out offerings of hay or root vegetables in their shoes for Slepnir, Odin’s horse. In norse tradition, all gifts create an obligation that must be returned in kind, so if Odin found the offerings pleasing he would leave treats and sweets in return.
So. We have a magical bearded man riding through the sky on a winter feast day and leaving treats for children in footwear if they pleased him. Sound familiar? Yeah.
As for Slepnir, Odin’s mount? He has eight legs. So. Bearded man with powerful magic flying through the air on an eight-legged steed on a winter feast day and leaving treats for children in their footwear if they pleased him.
Yeah.
Enter Christianity. Now, the midwinter season is important to all cultures that live in cold climates. The passing of the worst of the hard times and the beginning of the longer days and the promise of the return of life and light and fertility is a powerful thing. There were Christian festival days around the same time as Midwinter was celebrated in many polytheistic faiths. Christians found that they couldn’t get people to stop celebrating the feast days they’d been celebrating for several thousand years, so opted instead to just absorb those traditions into their OWN midwinter festivals. It was a far easier and more effective way of convincing people to convert.
So. The tradition of Odin leaving gifts hung on, in a far different form. This was helped by the legend of Saint Nicholas, a Turkish man who inherited a large amount of wealth and who was known and beloved for his habit of slipping money to poor people via leaving it in their stockings as they were hung out to dry after wash day, or by dropping it down their chimneys. This was similar enough to the old Odin myth of leaving gifts in footwear to paste right over top of the older stories with relative ease. So, the man delivering gifts became not Odin, but St. Nick, who delivered gifts via stocking and chimney.
However, the idea of him flying through the sky, being associated with elves, possessing powerful magic, and the eight-legged steed stuck. (reindeer, incidentally, are an animal with a lot of symbol and power in Norse tales. Ullr, the god of the hunt, had ties to reindeer, and at some point the eight legged horse became eight reindeer.)
Incidentally the image of Santa as a chubby little jolly man didn’t come around until modern advertising began depicting him that way. Before that? A tall, strong man, usually with a staff (echoing Odin’s staff or spear).
So. There you have it. Santa, the jolly bearded old man of beloved childhood Christmas memories? If you ever wondered where he came from in a ‘Christian’ holiday, there’s your answer. He didn’t. He’s the amalgamation of an ancient Norse god and a Middle Eastern saint, filtered through the lens of pop culture.
Jim Butcher actually did this very well in the Dresden Files, where Odin makes several appearances, one wearing the mantle of Father Christmas.
Christianity never really managed to make the old gods vanish.
I love these omg origins of holidays fascinate me
i swear to god i’m the biggest michael buble xmas album stan but there is nothing more insulting than “santa buddy,,,, i’ll wait up for you DUDE” and even more ridiculously so— he changed the line “a 64′ convertible too, light blue” to “a 65′ convertible too, steel blue” like…………………….we get it…………………….ur straight……………….ur a MAN…………………………. we g
#say you want to fuck santa you COWARD
In case u didn’t see these gems on buzzfeed
me, whispering softly at the edge of a forest: hozier, bro, i need your advice for a romantic date with my girlfriend
hozier, appearing out of the mist: oh, take her to an empty field and lie on the ground until you decompose and get eaten by foxes. it’s classic, timeless,