🖤🤍💜💚♣️🐉🌌

aro/ace/genderqueer sideblog. Main is @knife-dad (I'm bad at sideblogs yes I know)

[noah-wyles]

it's pride month

everyone get more understanding of the asexual spectrum right nOW

[aro-ace-chaos]

I’m so tired of the “why do people hate aspecs, they aren’t doing anything?” argument. I know that it is an attempt to support us, but it fails so spectacularly to understand aromanticism, asexuality, and any other aspec identity that it’s actively frustrating.

We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.

There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:

A single income isn't enough to get by anymore

Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system

Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly

Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.

So, no, aces and aros and other aspecs aren't "doing nothing." We're doing quite a lot.

[ostolero]

“I think white gay people feel cheated because they were born, in principle, into a society in which they were supposed to be safe. The anomaly of their sexuality puts them in danger, unexpectedly. Their reaction seems to me in direct proportion to the sense of feeling cheated of the advantages which accrue to white people in a white society. There’s an element, it has always seemed to me, of bewilderment and complaint. Now that may sound very harsh, but the gay world as such is no more prepared to accept black people than anywhere else in society. It’s a very hermetically sealed world with very unattractive features, including racism.”

— James Baldwin, from a 1984 interview given with Richard Goldstein, in the Village Voice

[doctorprofessorsong]

As an older queer, allow me to say: the walls of the closet are load-bearing. It is our job as a community to stand in front of that door and tell everyone who wants to peek inside to fuck off.

There are so many reasons a person may choose not to come out and there is no reason a person would owe the public or a stranger that information. Certainly it's not owed simply because someone is famous.

We have fought for decades to make it safer for people to be open and authentic about themselves, but we are not yet there. And even if we were, the closet would still be something we need to maintain for those who are not ready to reveal that part of themselves.

[warmhappycat]

May we never become so obsessed with representation that we forget the sanctity of privacy.

[mephistopheles]

yall i swear to god if a bitch says her pronouns are she/her then her pronouns are she/her

[mephistopheles]

my close friend from uni was a cis girl who had the audacity to wear pants and cut her hair short and like nobody at this school, a place OBSESSED with ‘respecting everyone’s gender identities,’ would call her ‘she.’ after MONTHS of this she started wearing a fucking pronoun pin to work and i dont even think that fixed it. me, im sorta androgynous; i have shaggy self-cut hair and go by a neutral name, but i always say my pronouns are she/her, and people ive worked with for months and have introduced myself in front of fifty times will STILL reflexively say ‘they’ for me. i respect the progressive circles i run in, but this IS evidence of misogyny. people’s definition of “woman” or “girl” is so narrow and high-maintenance that even the tiniest deviation from the norm gets you forcibly defeminized. but it’s a compliment, right? like who would wanna be a girl anyway?

[mephistopheles]

replacing an inescapable gender binary with an equally-inescapable gender trinary is stupid 🩷

[kayla-denker]

"The 'third sex', such as it is, is not a prescriptive category, but a dumping-ground, a landfill in which to deposit everyone that a society organized around the reproductive imperative considers extraneous and aberrant." - Talia Bhatt, "The Third Sex"

[transmorolians]

more people should seriously consider more characters being

asexual

aromantic

sex-repulsed

romance-repulsed

aplatonic

afamilial

lovequeer

loveless

nonpartnering

nonamorous or polyamorous

queerplatonic

aqueerplatonic

any combination of the above

all of the above

[tenitchyfingers]

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Note the date, people:

That’s 1972

29 years before AVEN was started online,

and 47 years before the present.

And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.

So, no: we are not just Tumblr trenders. Get out of here with that.

[queerhumanbeing]

supporting my asexual friends and foes by rebbloging this

[freyjawriter24]

It’s 50 years this month since the first version of the Asexual Manifesto was written. Aces have been writing about our experiences under this name for at least half a century. We are not an internet fad.

[userautumn]

some of you are not cis and the thing is that you don't even have to do anything about it. you can just be like "damn that's crazy" and move on with your life. you don't have to change your name. you don't have to change your pronouns. you don't have to choose which flavor of not-cis you are. you don't have to change your wardrobe. you don't have to come out or cut your hair or reinvent yourself. you can just be like "huh neato!" and let that be that. you don't owe anyone a performance of your queerness. not even other queer people. ok that's all thank you and goodbye

[specialagentartemis]

There’s also a thing that people who think they’re being accepting do where they go “Not wanting romance is SO SAD AND LONELY! Not wanting to read romance novels is SEXIST! Not wanting a partner makes you a FREAK! Not having sex with your partner is BAD and ABUSIVE! Not feeling sexual attraction to your partner means there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!… unless you’re aromantic or asexual, of course! Then you get a pass.” The only acceptable reason to deviate from the amatonormative and sexnormative societal norm is to claim an identity label that exempts you. The actual thing you’re doing is still bad… but don’t worry it’s OK for you to do it! It feels like, we haven’t actually challenged any norms at all, you just get a pass on them because you can’t help it, poor thing. If you have the capacity to feel these, you have the obligation to; you are only exempt if you claim an identity that says that you are unable to. It implies that we would if we could, but we can’t, and it’s merely unfair to punish us for our shortcomings. Romance and sex are still social requirements, that hasn’t changed, we just are allowed a pass on it because we are unable to meet them. (And we’re still expected to reassure everyone that of course we recognize that their romance and sex is far more important than anything we will ever be able to have!)

I don’t want aros and aces to get special exemption from the requirement to have romance and sex and romantic attraction and sexual attraction; I want that to not be a requirement for anyone.

[negativepeanuthoarder]

As an aroace person I actually never had that feeling of being broken. I thought everyone was the same way and some people were just dramatic 😭

[negativepeanuthoarder]

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY THATS EXACTLY HOW I FELT WATCHING ATTACK OF THE CLONES FOR THE FIRST TIME LMAOOOOO 😭😭😭😭

[sluttyquarantinetheory]

As an aromantic individual it actually drives me insane when people measure the quality of queer rep based on whether or not that queer character has a relationship. Like we are actually whole people outside of our dating lives. Don't get me wrong I want to see the lesbians make out as much as the next one but I also don't measure that as the be all end all of gay characters.

[howtoskinarabbit]

Normal human people.

When I stay around normal human people for a bit too long I forget. Then they say something 'Imagine being single after 40' 'That's so sad'

And I remember.

[morally-earl-gray]

people get so defensive and weird when you try to headcanon an extroverted flirty character as aroace and theyre like "ehhh i dont see it..... they dont really seem aroace to me..... maybe they can be bi..." like okay?? do you think that characters have to be quiet introverted people who hate everyone in order to be headcanoned as aroace??because a) i can headcanon whatever i want and you cant stop me and b) you are a fucking idiot.

[acearojomarch]

YOUR URL. YOUR URL!!!!!

Yes!!! It's one of my favorite aspec headcanons!

[aspec-quilt-project]

welcome to the ace quilt project!! quilt square submissions are open now. check out the faq if you have any questions, and follow along at @ace-quilt-project to see how this project grows. 🫶

[footlongdingledong]

so imagine you're a really big fan of this movie or game or book right. and imagine you go online to see what other people think about it yknow analysing the story and it's a solid 80% just characters driving cars and talking about what cars they'd drive. doesn't matter if the characters can drive or mention cars at all or if the story even has any cars or roads or not it's all about what cars they'd have. what the inside of their cars would look like what their license photo would look like talking about air fresheners and brands and such. Even if a character explicitly says they don't like cars like even if it's like a lorax type environmental type story people will draw them in like a truck or van or something and say it doesn't count but it's like exactly the same as the car posts. and god have mercy if they Do mention cars or they look like a driver cause people are taking that and running with it. nothing about the plot they don't even get the characters right it's all just cars and fanfiction about cars and fanart about cars and arguing about cars holy shit is there so much arguing about what cars they'd have there is so much. All the time. Everywhere. they don't even draw the women. this could be a metaphor for nothing

[catnippackets]

ppl misunderstand me when I say "I want more [thing] in stories". I don't mean "I'm going to love every single one" I mean "I'm very picky and I want more of it in circulation so I can actually choose from a wealth of them and be discerning". I see ppl being like "you say you want more of [this thing] but you don't like [example of it]" YEAH CUZ I'M PICKY!!!!!!!! I have opinions and standards????? not all of them are gonna be the same I wanna be able to look at 100 of them and go "I want these 20" not "I only have 3 to choose from and I don't like any of them" you feel me??????