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@acooleg

i try to be funny and creative in an over-saturated internet environment. pokemon - my hero academia - animal crossing - obey me

8,154 posts

I really hate those stupids posts that are like:

“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”

You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.

viewtifulmarkovich

If it passes the Harkness Test, I’m down.

viewtifulmarkovich

For the uninformed:

This isn’t an item or even a game mechanic but I think y’all know you need the Harkness Test at some point or another in most campaigns

here’s my issue with the harkness test

howtofuckamonster

The takeaway here is that Scoobert Doo is a fuckable monster

bemusedlybespectacled

look, the harkness test isn’t whether a monster is ATTRACTIVE, it’s whether fucking the monster is UNETHICAL. “do I find scooby doo hot?” is a separate question from “IF I find scooby doo hot, would fucking him constitute bestiality?”

The ability of Scooby to consent is questionably given that it’s well documented Scooby will agree to anything for a Scooby Snack. ANYTHING.

Griffin: "How old do I have to be to get nunchucks?"

Justin: Like, legally?

Griffin: I don't know if there is actually a law. Uh, one of the answers was, "21 years old," which is very definitive and also probably not correct.

Justin: This first question comes in to us from Justin from West Virginia, he says, "If you buy a cereal that is called Cupcake Pebbles and is based on cupcakes, how do you eat anything else until that box is empty?"

Griffin: Hmm. That's tricky.

Travis: Great question.

Griffin: This is so funny because before we started recording the show you were talking about the merits of Cupcake Pebbles, and also your name is Justin and also you're from West Virginia.

Travis: The coincidence is overwhelming.

Justin: That's weird. We should skip this question, I think it might be a prank.

marvelsmostwanted

If your members of Congress are on this list, call now and demand their resignation: 202-224-3121

If these are not your Senators or representatives, then call your own Congress members and demand they remove these people from office: 202-224-3121

marvelsmostwanted

This is why we all need to get on the phone right fucking now and make it clear to Congress that we will not stop until this is resolved.

There must be consequences for everyone involved yesterday, or it will happen again. For once, can we please learn from history? This will happen again. There must be swift and severe consequences for everyone involved in the attempted insurrection, from the Senators who encouraged and incited it to the idiots that stormed the building.

They all have to fucking go.

Call: 202-224-3121

Script: 5calls.org

meitantei-shitpost

Detective Conan but it’s just a ridiculous comedy.

After being shrunk Shinichi just kind of goes back to his daily life. His classmates just roll with it. Some of them didn’t even notice he shrunk until a few days later. They’re like, “Kudo... did you get shorter?” “Yes.” “Oh ok.”

meitantei-shitpost

Wait I’ve got more.

The Black Organization doesn’t give a shit about Shinichi because they think he’s just some random kid. Shinichi, however, is dead set on taking them down. After meeting Haibara he gets the information he needs to start following them everywhere and to “exploit their plans” (Haibara wants no part in it). And they’re like “Ugh, it’s this kid again. Gin, I thought you told him to fuck off,” “I did but he keeps following us on that dumbass skateboard,” “GIN WE’RE ON THE GODDAMN FREEWAY HOW CAN HE FOLLOW US ON A SKATEBOARD.” “Look for yourself he’s right behind us. Break really fast and he’ll run into us and hopefully die.” “Ok.”

meitantei-shitpost

I decided to call this the detective conan comedy au. And now I’ve got more bullshit to add to it.

When Heiji is introduced he spends the entire episode looking for Shinichi. He doesn’t realize that Shinichi was there the entire time just as a child. Everyone just kinda assumed he knew and thought he just wanted to wonder around Beika to sightsee. At the end of the episode Heiji asks Shinichi, “Um... this is gonna sound kinda stupid but... are you Kudo?” to which Shinichi replies, “uh, yeah? And?” Heiji then proceeds to go apeshit.

phantomechospics

I love this. This needs to be a thing. All of you need to see and appreciate this post. :)

Hpyu…….

"Why are you so obessed with found family?"

I watched this as a kid and internalized it for forever

Lilo and Stitch really said "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." And i still live by that

film reviews that will haunt me forever

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i think it would be good if we normalized having like. a day or week in elementary/middle school where everyone used pronouns they didn’t normally used. i think that would be educational for everyone involved

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

for a lot of reasons actually

cis kids would be introduced to the way it just feels fundamentally weird and not correct when people refer to you with pronouns you don’t identify with. that makes it an important empathy exercise

it encourages gender exploration, and would be meaningful to kids who haven’t figured out they’re trans.

(on that note, everyone should at some point examine their gender, and what it means to them personally. yes, this applies to cis people.)

it would encourage kids to examine ingrained sexism, and start questioning some of the ways they’ve been taught to think about women.

above all, it’s a great way to build a society that is more empathetic, more informed, and kinder. those are very, very good reasons.

My fiancee gave her kids the chance to do this! One of them ended up using they/them pronouns for quite a while actually. The other kid (if I remember correctly) chose a different set of pronouns for a day or so and didn’t like it, and became horrified upon realizing that some people live with that feeling all the time. Both of them have been very conscious of other peoples gender stuff ever since. That shit works friends.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

holy granola that is some excellent parenting!

honoratacarnage

Pokemon Café mix is a seriously underrated pokemon sidegame. Like, I'll make a list showcasing some of the recipes in the game:

Apparently Dugtrios eat a lot!

YAMPER BUTT BREAD also what's that bologne made of?

They really like to enfatize that Litwick drains your life-force huh?

Ok that looks extra good now i want some pizza

This gives me studio ghibli food vibes you know? Like, a Kitsune ice-cream store or something

That whole plate is an entrée?! Geez, who are we serving, a Snorlax?

I don't really like popcorn but i must admit that using oricorio's nectar thing as dye was a very smart move

Ok it's canon now, what's under Mimikyu's disguise is... Curry.

I wonder if the hamburger is vegan or not (Loco Moco is an Hawaiian recipe that consists in eggs and brown gravy over a hamburger patty)

Embrace the D E C A D E N T pikachu fruit flan. Do it. Slam your face in it. I know you want it.

Tell me what y'all think!

So now that my whole family is vaccinated using the Pfizer vaccine, I thought it might be nice to report on our side effects! Can you find the common denominator?

Me, 30

vaccinated 22 Dec

22 Dec- minor flashes of pain at injection site

23 Dec- injection site pain when punched lightly in the arm by Dad who forgot which arm I got the shot in, some joint stiffness that’s proooobably more likely related to falling asleep in a stupid position and honestly it’s so minor that it barely counts

24 Dec- redness at injection site, no swelling, no longer tender to touch- redness possibly from ripping off band-aid.

Lauren, 27

vaccinated 20 Dec

21 Dec- reported swelling and soreness in left arm around injection site

22 Dec- reported headache in the morning and a low-grade fever that broke by 1 PM

24 Dec- reported significant pain at injection site when slapped on the arm by our dad as he was telling a joke and laughing too hard at his own joke

Nick, 24

Vaccinated 23 Dec

24 Dec- reported pain at injection site when gently shaken awake by our dad, who managed to put his hand exactly on the injection site

Sarah, 20

Vaccinated 23 Dec

23 Dec- reported pain and swelling at injection site

24 Dec- reported pain at injection site when picked up by our dad in an attempt to crack her back

Mom, 58

vaccinated 23 Dec

23 Dec- reported severe headaches in evening and redness/swelling around injection site

24 Dec- headache gone, injection site red and a little itchy, pain at injection site when hugged too tightly by my dad

Dad, 57

vaccinated 19 Dec

19 Dec- reported soreness around injection site

24 Dec- reported severe pain in entire body when entire family decided to beat him with pillows to see how he liked it

my father is an ABSOLUTE TREASURE he’s the kindest, sweetest human man on the planet but he’s like-

you know how sometimes when a big dog is so happy and it wags its tail and it knocks over the furniture and hits you in the knees?

that’s my dad

Dad just punched Sarah in the arm again and he felt so bad he offered to let her punch him in the arm but he couldn’t remember where the vaccine is so now Sarah is just whaling on his whole arm

the-real-nekoma-kenma

Everyone who has read this post stans your dad

whitepeopletwitter

gallusrostromegalus

I read this aloud in the brief window I had before the hilarity overtook me, and the whole house was hooting like a troop of gibbons for a good five minutes.

Every time I see a picture of super shiny, polished armor I want to kick a Victorian.

They deserve it!!!

brunhiddensmusings

the more history you learn, doesnt matter what history, the more you hate the victorians

This disclaimer should be read, signed, and archived for anyone interested in history.

Wait but WHY

Because the Victorians had a nasty habit of viewing all history through the lens of a world-view that justified their imperialist patriarchal and white suprematist society. As a result, they reinterpreted, ignored and outright erased anything that contradicted that world view.

On an ethical level, that.

On a personal level - they polished medieval armor to a mirror finish thinking that was what it was supposed to look like, when most armor was finished with bluing, blacking, enamel, or paint to be outlandish and gaudy and gorgeous, and most importantly - resist rusting.

They did the same thing to ancient statues, assuming that they were meant to be bare white marble (as their paint had since flaked and worn away), when in fact they looked like stunningly gorgeous pop art of the ancient world.

What I’m seeing here is that I should make my LARP characters as gaudy as possible.

That is absolutely what you’re seeing. The medieval agenda is gaudy as hell.

Komi-san is bad at communicating!

More animation practice.

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2021 tumblr discourse predictions:

a popular user is murdered and the person who kills them assumes control of their blog to try and cover up the murder, then them blocking all of the person's former mutuals to avoid being contacted causing a whole slew of drama

AOC has a heated gamer moment playing halo 5

an update causes a glitch where everyone's likes & blogs they're following are made public. chaos reigns

people start talking about how making fun of pyramid schemes is misogynistic and we're just afraid of women having power

anti-vax comes to tumblr in the form of people saying vaccines are bad because some people have anxiety and shouldn't be forced to have to interact with doctors

people learn kamala harris follows jk rowling on twitter and the final trumpet sounds as the gates of hell open unleashing untold horrors onto the world

elon musk dies of covid and people argue whether grimes is a Girl Boss or not for using the inheritance to hire a private army and launch a full scale war on australia

stray cat j is arrested for tax evasion

So I hate to say this but that first thing already happened

one-time-i-dreamt

WHAT?

i only return to tumblr when i catch wind of fun new fandom drama and boy howdy this destiel shit came out of left field

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