Actual Caveman

How does one "Tumblr"?

[memewhore]

[abbf26]

someone teach me how to draw bears

[gembubbles]

Like this

[abbf26]

i am a gay man unfortunately. this is still very sweet

[lamp-intheheadlights-deactivate]

this technique will work regardless of sexuality, don’t worry

[vergak]

[gahdamnpunk]

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

[kvroko]

✰ POKEMON GENERATION 1-7 ✰

[laughing-thrush]

Try as we might with different kinds of window stickers, we do still get deadly strikes. (Though they’re way down, especially outside of migration seasons, so totally get window stickers!) As bummed as I always am by strikes, I was of course also struck by this wood thrush’s classic avian death pose. “Postmortem contraction of the posterior neck ligaments-”

Here’s a lovely Sinosauropteryx (a wee feathered dinosaur from Cretaceous China) fossil, spot the difference!

[ofools]

Sometimes I remember that there’s a massive beef in the paleontological community between Jack Horner and Robert Bakker and it’s so big that when they both worked as advisers on the Jurassic Park films, Spielberg made 2 characters based on them and had a T. rex eat Bakker’s character as a favour to Horner.

[ofools]

“The bearded paleontologist Dr. Robert Burke, who is eaten by a Tyrannosaurus rex in Steven Spielberg’s film The Lost World: Jurassic Park, is an affectionate caricature of Bakker.

In real life, Bakker has argued for a predatory T. rex, while Bakker’s rival paleontologist Jack Horner views it as primarily a scavenger.

According to Horner, Spielberg wrote the character of Burke and had him killed by the T. rex as a favor for Horner. After the film came out, Bakker recognized himself in Burke, loved the caricature, and actually sent Horner a message saying, ‘See, I told you T. rex was a hunter!’.”

God this is still funny

[djadjamankh]

Academia is very serious

[randomslasher]

I adore this, because only in a paleotological fued can both parties be satisfied with a caricature of one being eaten by a t-rex.

[glumshoe]

Instagram ads piss me off. Like, yes, I do want those black waterproof boots embroidered with a gold sun and moon, but I hate that you know that about me. I hate the little AI oracles sitting in their digital caves making algorithmic prophecies about my spending habits, then sending sending their electronic servants to me with hedonistic temptations targeted at my weaknesses... I’ve already got nice boots, thanks!

[buffysboobs]

right after i reblogged this post i went on instagram and

[teathattast]

[tahthetrickster]

dave benjamin barnes and buster jerry noble

[prettiboifloyd]

dave “mike” benjamin barnes and buster “ike” jerry noble

[lesbianshepard]

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

[lesbianshepard]

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

[lesbianshepard]

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

[lesbianshepard]

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

[lesbianshepard]

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

[bri-lin-biscuit]

Idk what you're talking about, your oversharing saved you

[paradise-estate]

every once and a while ill get an ask about my collection or to post a picture of my shelves or something but i assure you

it looks exactly like this

its like building a 1x1 square pen in zoo tycoon and putting 300+ elephants in there. that is what my pony collection looks like

[paradise-estate]

[catchymemes]

[thorodinson]

Thor: Ragnarok / Avengers: Endgame / Parks and Recreation

[crunchbuttsteak]

I got a tumblr, it really was quite great

I blog about a lot of things, but mostly what I ate.

I thought it was a sweet gig, it really was quite cushy.

Then they went and banned me, ‘cause all I ate was pussy.

[crunchbuttsteak]

I signed up on tumblr, I didn’t know what to expect.

I thought I could just post and not worry about being fact checked

But once my posts went viral, no one saw my genius

Now all they do is reblog and say “kung pow penis.”

[butiki]

I’m a YA book author, I have a tumblr too

I post a lot of info, for my tumblypoos

But then one day my time was up, I read it on the clock

And now my most famous post is about how I love cock

[himborc]

i made a tumblr, and it didnt go great

whenever i make a post, all i get is hate

arguing with strangers, it really is a slog

i know all about politics, i run a hentai blog

[aromancy]

RUN A HENTAI BLOOOOOOOG

[lesbiskammerat]

[tiktoks-we-like]

[tired-gay-bean]

Comedy fucking gold I’m sorry

[sandersstudies]

Somebody tell Hollywood I’ve found proof that a plot twist can be predictable and yet still amazing.

[pipistrellus]

my favorite part in attack of the clones is when obi-wan just fucks off to play space nancy drew on Clone Rain Planet with the alarming giraffe-necked aliens and swans in like “HELLO IT’S ME, the jedi who definitely… … was here before and probably, uh, spoke to you, and stuff” and theyre like “ah you are here for the order” and hes like “beg pardon” and theyre like “the order of millions of identical human men?” and hes like “RIGHT YES. ABSOLUTELY I AM HERE FOR THE ORDER OF MILLIONS OF IDENTICAL HUMAN MEN”

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

 and obi-wan’s like “shit man you’re so right" 

[kinky-space-nerd]

There literally isn’t a frame of this scene where Obi-Wan doesn’t look confused as hell

[gothcostco]