Vista and Refuge An Interview with Big Sur Yurt Hotelier John Handy Eight years ago, I wrote a travel article for a magazine about a niche-popular but still-under-the-radar collection of Big Sur yurts...
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@adam-baer
Vista and Refuge An Interview with Big Sur Yurt Hotelier John Handy Eight years ago, I wrote a travel article for a magazine about a niche-popular but still-under-the-radar collection of Big Sur yurts...
Adam Baer is a Los Angeles-based writer, speaker and consultant whose recent op-ed "The Pressure to Say You're OK" has made waves. Adam joins us to discuss how we shouldn't have to pressure medical pa
Happy to get Stupid tonight on the Stupid Cancer show. There's so much to hear, but if you're happy and calm, listen to my segment at 24:30, and I promise you'll feel... different? -- Adam Baer
A colleague recently announced that he'd been diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer. Don't worry, he wrote. He promised to fight. He promised to recover.
My new op-ed: "Guaranteeing to 'get well' reinforces the notion that health is a binary, with sickness on one side and wellness on the other. Is it? Doctors increasingly diagnose conditions pre-cancerous, pre-diabetic, pre-bad, and everyone's health is constantly fluctuating, like one's pulse or blood pressure... Chronic illness is normal. We have to get cozy with that notion and keep the medically stained from feeling cast out from society, left to wince and wonder in private until they're ready for some grand reemergence." --Adam Baer #patientadvocacy #humanadvocacy #cancer #wellness #chronicillness #chronic #life #definitions #disparities
Writer Adam Baer on the lines and boundaries that therapists must keep. Psychosocial oncology is a field to support, honor.
Harper's essay on Chordoma, Proton Therapy, Cancer History, and The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee -- Adam Baer
The surreal experiences of apartment hunting in Los Angeles -- by Adam Baer
“Aren’t I Making All This Up?” Adam Baer talks to Clancy Martin about Lying and Love
Photograph by Greg Martin
Adam Baer in Conversation with Clancy Martin
The following is a conversation that I had with writer and philosophy professor Clancy Martin, whose new book is Love and Lies: An Essay on Truthfulness, Deceit, and the Growth and Care of Erotic Love. Martin has also worked in the jewelry business and written fiction. His first novel, How to Sell, details the schemes of shady diamond guys—and Martin’s no stranger to confidence scams. But he gets confessional in Love and Lies, combining philosophy with stories about his romantic life, and it’s his contention that one must lie in order to carry on a successful relationship. Don’t lie to yourself as you consider the truthfulness of the discussion below, and see Martin speak in a few YouTube videos that he has provided us to prove that he is indeed someone who has been recorded while giving philosophical discussions.
—Adam Baer
I. TELLING THE TRUTH BUT TELLING IT SLANT
ADAM BAER: Let me start the conversation with a lie and say that I don’t believe in being truthful with your loved ones.
CLANCY MARTIN: You have to take the risk of being truthful with people you love. But always examine your motivations. Are you seeking the good for that person when you speak the truth? Or are you just clearing your conscience? Are you using truth as a weapon? Truth can hurt just as much as a lie—sometimes more.
AB: My loved ones generally say I’m a bad liar. They even know that I crack up when I’m telling the truth in a situation that would cause others to expect a lie.
CM: Well, you’re probably a much better liar than you think, Adam. Nietzsche writes that “lying to others, relatively speaking, is an exceptional event. We most often lie, and we learn to lie, by lying to ourselves.” So very often when we think we are being sincere, or speaking the truth, we may have already engaged in a prior convenient self-deception.
I think we must be very attuned to our own thoughts and feelings before we can feel confident that we are speaking truthfully—especially when it comes to matters of love. Sometimes, in order to care for a beloved, you might need to lie. I might ask you to lie to me to tell me what I need to hear.
AB: Seems like I should be careful. I’m not fact-checking your philosophy quotes.
CM: Put any two people in conversation for ten minutes and they will lie two or three times.
AB: Okay, but I’m not saying that I trust people most of the time. Just that I trust myself to be honest, even about not being truthful. I think most lying today happens when people choose not to respond to others. The “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” thing is kicking ass in 2015. Look at Twitter.
CM: Stendhal said, “It is a matter of almost instinctive faith with me that when any great man speaks, he lies. And most especially when he writes.” Plato also thought all artists were liars. So be careful.
Keep reading
Conversation: On Death, by Clancy Martin and Adam Baer | Harper's Magazine
“My computer’s autocorrect changes the word Nagel to “Angel.” I might suggest “bagel.” I like consuming Nagel, but I don’t feel well afterwards, and I’ve almost certainly put on weight that will hang around for a lot longer than I might think.”
“Beyond the Boundary Principle” by Adam Baer -- A New York Times “Couch” Essay
When I first heard that the New York Times was running a series of Opinionator essays about psychology and psychotherapy called "Couch," I was pretty sure I'd have something to submit. I've not only a seen a few professionals in this field over the years, but the woman I married eventually became a stellar clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist in Los Angeles. I like to kid that she's never had the good fortune to be my doctor, but that's of course true: I was never her patient, and she wasn't in this line of work when we met. She first started as a scientist, a researcher. At any rate, I decided that I'd write a piece about the key psychologists in my life, especially because two of them had massively differing approaches, and in fact, one passed away while seeing me with the same disease as me -- and never told me she was sick (such are boundaries). If you've made it this far, here's the link to the story that ran in the New York Times Couch series. Have a read and tell me if you still don't approve of strict boundaries like those which the most selfless cancer therapists live by in order to help people. I hope that this piece this honors them in some way. -- Adam Baer
Honey-toned. Velvety. A golden sound. These are just some of the terms that generations of music lovers have used to compliment the violin playing of Itzhak Perlman. For nearly five decades, the marquee virtuoso, one of concert music's most charming emissaries, has infused his playing with sweetness and ease that can smooth out the most unruly passages, infusing masterworks with rich life.
Essay on the history and future of the sheet music business. And how sheet music served as my family's literature. -- Adam Baer
The Use of John Lautner's Architecture in Film
In the age of the playlist, we should recognize the people assembling previously published and original music for films.
Writer Adam Baer in The Atlantic on why the Academy should award music supervisors for complete soundtracks.
To enjoy a work by American composer John Adams you only need the ability to feel.
Bacon Schmaltz
Veteran "Curb Your Enthusiasm" director Bob Weide talks about bringing his prickly brand of humor to the big screen with "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People."
Writer Adam baer profiles Robert B. Weide, first director of Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm and documentarian of Lenny Bruce, the Marx Brothers, and soon, Kurt Vonnegut.