As we know, each cross in Conclave has a unique design and meaning that reflects the character they're designed for.
The main symbol on Bellini's cross is the pelican. According to many ancient legends (pre dating Christianity) the pelican was believed to pierce its own breast with its beak to feed its offspring with its blood, so early Christians adopted it as a symbol of Jesus Christ sacrificing himself for mankind.
The most immediate explanation is that the pelican represents Bellini: he's the righteous cardinal who doesn't want the papacy, who sees it as a burden that will most likely destroy him, but who, at the same time, feels like he has to become Pope in order to prevent Tedesco from winning. In other words, he feels like he has to sacrifice himself in order to save the Church.
However, the quote engraved on the back of the cross reveals something more, something deeper. The quote comes from a hymn written by Thomas Aquinas in 1264, titled “Adoro te devote”.
Pie pellicane, Iesu Domine, / me immundum munda tuo sanguine.
Good pelican, Lord Jesus, / clean me, the unclean, with your blood.
It's a prayer TO the good pelican from the point of view of a sinner who feels unclean, impure.
And that's how Bellini constantly sees himself: as unworthy, as dirty. His whole character is built around this sense of shame, self loathing and self-doubt, which he must shoulder alone and which is at the centre of his (torturous?) relationship with God.
The quote is hidden on the back of the cross, it's private, it's for Bellini's eyes only, his shame is between himself and the Lord, the only one who can save him, who can clean him.
And of course you can read this however you like but it's definitely one more thing to be added to the list of gay undertones in Bellini's character.
One last thing (and this is probably my biggest reach but indulge me): I noticed that in the scene where Bellini finally admits his shame to Lawrence his cross is facing backwards.
This movie is so meticulous with its details and symbolism that I'm almost 100% sure that it was made (or left like that) on purpose.
In the scene Lawrence (and the audience with him) is finally given access to Bellini's inner turmoil. Bellini is baring those parts of himself he's so ashamed of to the person he cares about the most, so it's only fitting that his words and actions are accompanied by this subtle, yet powerful symbolism.
[image description: two black and white memes saying 'a real (lawrenitez) fan never speaks ill of (lawrellini)' and 'a real (lawrellini) fan never speaks ill of (lawrenitez)' end id]
the conclave book constantly emphasizes how being a pope is basically a lonely death sentence. cardinals close to being elected pope are isolated out of respect and awe, popes can't go out to eat at their favorite restaurants or go on strolls, they're constantly targeted as the head of the church etc..
the book frames benitez as, literally and symbolically, a 60ish year old boy who has no idea what hes getting into. he stumbles to think of a name when he gets elected pope, begs lomelli to stay with him to guide him, and even the smallest papal clothes literally do not fit him because he's so tiny. he's framed with a childlike awe and openness needed to lead the church through dark and cynical times
i think another genius moment for the movie is that it frames benitez in almost the opposite direction. movie benitez is quiet and contemplative. he likes lomelli, but in the same way an angel would favor a prophet. he's the only one to care about His Holiness' turtles and see their virtue despite their apparent stupidity, which is obviously a reflection of how His Holiness saw the cardinals and the rest of the Kingdom of God. From the very beginning, he is isolated from the other cardinals, never really shown to discuss things with anyone other than lawrence. In the end when he scolds tedesco, you dont get the impression of a wise childlike figure speaking up against a bully, you get the impression of moses telling ramses to let his people go.
and in the end when movie benitez is elected pope, he pauses. he refuses to get dressed until lawrence sees him about the one issue he knows will be a problem. he comes into the papacy knowing he will make a great sacrifice, and he treats it that way.
tldr book benitez is a 60ish year old boy wearing papal clothes too big for him to fully handle, movie benitez is a man walking up cavalry hill, both are my babies, thank you for coming to my ted talk
Todas las promesas de mi amor se irán contigo
Me olvidarás
Me olvidarás
Junto a la estación hoy lloraré igual que un niño
Porque te vas
Porque te vas
Porque te vas
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