Summary: Alicent goes to Helaena to tell her about Jaehaerys' funeral and try to comfort her as best as she can. A rewritten scene from 2x02 "Rhaenyra the Cruel" that pays more attention to the awful choice Helaena was subjected to and her feelings in the wake of her son's murder.
The idea of rewriting scenes from the second season of HotD is a great way to engage with the show despite its flaws and I would like to thank @aegoncarney for creating this event. It got me to write my first HotD fanfiction!
AO3
The eyes of the Red Keep are like knives in Alicent's back, in her ribcage, in her mind. She wants to turn to the seemingly empty hallways and scream, yell at them, demand their accountability. Always watching, at least a dozen pairs shadow her every movement now but where were they when her daughter had been all alone against the monsters in the night?
They are only here to confine her, stop her from going two steps back for every three steps forward like she's lost her mind. She has to leave herself to the motion of walking, keep her mind on other things to let her feet take her to the quarters where her daughter and granddaughter had been moved on their own.
The thought of what she'll see when she gets there only makes her slow down as she wrestles with the impulse to turn around and storm the Small Council again to countermand her father’s commands. But she can't run from this forever. She has to be there for her daughter, as close as Helaena will allow her.
She had been in shock last night, staying in Alicent's chamber. They'd hardly talked her into letting go of Jaehaera and she'd remained perched on Alicent's bed and watching over her the whole night. The alertness in her posture had been disturbing, her hands stroking Jaehaera despite the distant look in her eyes as if to make sure the girl was still there. Alicent had barely convinced her to lie down and rest her body at least if she refused sleep, gaze penetrating the space in front of her as if she could see something in the distance the rest of them were unaware of.
The knight in front of Helaena's door opens it for Alicent, a little too quickly as if he's ashamed of how little use there is for him, now. She thanks him regardless – for guarding her precious girl, for saving her from agonizing over whether to knock and startle Helaena or risk frightening her if she walked in without warning, and for the sake of announcing herself to her daughter. Maybe even for her own sake, to earn herself another second to steel her nerves and bear the sight of what had become of her sweet girl, all because of her.
Helaena is on her feet again, holding the bedpost for support. She has Jaehaerys' blanket in her hands, hugging it to her to feel any trace left of him – his scent or the warmth that is no longer there. Something leaves her throat but it is unintelligible.
Alicent's heart pounds in her ears frantically despite her resolve to listen in, to never let Helaena feel alone or unheard again. She tries to ask… something but the possibility that a sob would be the only response she gets is an insurmountable lump in her throat. Helaena has every reason to weep and never stop. Why should she herself be allowed anything different?
Helaena turns to her, head snapping in her direction so fast that Alicent almost gasps in fear that she's hurt herself. Her eyes are focused now, her gaze so intense as it lands on Alicent that she nearly collapses to her knees. Whatever her sweet girl is looking for, she will fail to provide.
"I had nothing to give," Helaena's voice is so hollow – as if she knows her mother won't have what she needs.
Alicent chokes down her own sobs but her words are still wet when they come out, bathed in the tears welling in her eyes, "No, you are so loving and warm. A great mother-"
Helaena goes on as if she did not speak, "I couldn't offer myself. They only wanted a son."
Alicent freezes. The blood drains from her; she can't breathe. Her arm only shoots out to brace her against the wall when her knees buckle.
"I only had a necklace they didn’t take." Helaena's fingers are bunching the blanket, digging into it in search for her baby, or at least for an answer to settle her heart and mind. "Did I have something else to give?"
She whips around, eyes running over the room.
"This was my son's," she holds up the blanket. She steps towards the table and picks up one of Jaehaerys' toys. "This was my son's. All of these. He had many things. Why did I not…?"
Her arms fall next to her body, limp, the blanket pooling in her feet. She looks up at Alicent, her lips trembling. "I must have had something to give. If I am the queen."
Alicent runs to her. The moment she opens her arms, Helaena collapses in them and they fall to the floor, the blanket barely softening the thud their bodies make against it. The toy in Helaena's hand clatters to the ground and her nails sink into Alicent’s shoulders like she'd slip away if she doesn't burrow herself under Alicent's skin. She is only grateful for that pain.
She tries stroking Helaena's hair and only continues when Helaena doesn't push her away. Though, she doesn't really seem to notice, still clutches at her and her breaths come in irregular gasps. Like she's stifling the cries before they can form in her body.
Alicent doesn't know what to say, how to encourage her to let it out. She wants to tell her she'll remain with her as long as Helaena needs her but Helaena speaks first.
"What else could I have done, mummy?"
Alicent's heart breaks. She bites herself to blood to keep from weeping; the tremors of her body are already shaking Helaena. That's all she can give her. Not an answer but her own pain reflected back at her.
She has to remind herself not to cling to Helaena like that's the only thing keeping her head above water. She's supposed to be the one consoling her baby.
She has nothing to give.
"I didn't see them," Helaena's voice is so thin, like she'll break under unbearable weight. "Just the rats. In every hallway, swarming together, with a big shadow behind them swallowing the light. They were coming for us and I couldn’t pick him up, my boy…" She buries her face in Alicent's neck. "They were running from it."
Alicent can't help the pangs of guilt cutting through the relief of having Helaena nestled into her neck, safely in her arms where nothing can take her away. It's a comfort only to her while her sweet girl is twisting her mind inside out, looking for a way out of a tragedy that's already happened, that none of them could have foreseen. She has to soothe her, has to find a way to lead her out of the maze Helaena is wandering in her own head.
"There is to be a funeral for Jaehaerys. We’ve been asked to… accompany the procession."
Helaena has gone still, stiff, in her arms. She has to tread very carefully.
"If we show we need them, the people will help us. With them on our side, it will be easier to defend ourselves. You can protect your girl."
Helaena pulls back to look at her and Alicent tries to find her own conviction. She'd do anything for her sweet girl but this doesn't feel right. She's not lying; they need the people. She still feels like retching just thinking of standing next to her daughter while her pain is paraded around.
Her sweet girl needs a second but understands. Her eyes search Alicent’s face and she feels like she's failing her. Tears have already started to blur her vision and she knows her jaw trembles; she doesn't even have the strength to clench it hard enough to stop that. How can she harden herself when Helaena is in her arms? Only gentleness should ever touch her girl.
Only when she sees her tears mirrored in Helaena's eyes as she nods, she knows her girl is braver than her.
Her heart jumps when Helaena leans into her again. She tucks her under her chin immediately and strokes her back.
She wants to say, "I'm sorry."
All she says is, "There is something you can do."
She's not sure if she's talking to Helaena or to herself.
"fire and blood isn't supposed to be a completely true story. the showrunners can adapt things how they want, they don't have to follow the source material."
my brother in christ they are not even following season one
I waited until the entire season was over to voice my opinion; House of The Dragon is disappointing.
I will not sit here and regurgitate the exact same complaints as everyone else but just that I am no longer interested in this series as I once was. I spent the two years between season one and two so excited to see where the series would go; now I feel as I’ve I spent eight weeks watching a slowburn teaser for a battle we won’t get to see for years.
I love the community and choose to stay to support content creators, friends I’ve made as well as Tom Glynn Carney’s career as I am a fan of his; not just Aegon.
I’m so sorry to the cast and crew who had to work with the lacklustre writing Condal and Hess had given them.
When your 55 years old and your first friends ever are a 15 year old who you told to kill his grandpa, a 300+ year old witch who has odd intentions and has probs been drugging you, and an old man who spends all of his castle funds on new outfits and being sassy.
If you don’t like seeing criticism of HotD, then don’t interact with criticism of HotD. You throwing insults at bloggers only reflects badly on how poorly adjusted you are. You saying “you people just want to see the show fail” is not the comeback you think it is. None of us want the show to fail, we want it to be better and are upset that it’s going the way of season 8 of GoT.
If you do want to engage in a debate about whether the flaws of the show are actually flaws, here’s a few tips.
1. Don’t engage in personal attacks
2. Address the argument being made
3. Use evidence from the show to explain your point
4. Refrain from using interviews and behind the episode clips to explain away things in the show. If it’s not in the show then it’s just that person’s head canon.
gummygunk
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
areudirty
2087
annaxmalina
dededos
