Aesthetic Sepia

A picture's worth a thousand words.

[aestheticsepia]

Congratulations, dear.

You broke my heart.

The heart I told you

Had breaks and aches.

The heart I warned

Might fall apart.

I vividly remember

Placing it on your nightstand

And telling you

To always sing it to sleep

And to love it

The way you loved me.

But I guess

It had lost too much blood

For your liking.

But I was trying;

Not gonna lie, I

Was short on time.

And now I’m dying.

And now I’ve lost

Every drop of blood

The doctors could chart.

Congratulations, darling

You broke my heart.

[aestheticsepia]

I’ve been pulling at

cords plugged in the wall

perhaps it’d bring me to life

I’m not breathing at all

sparks of electricity

are such an enviable thought.

loud pops and bright shocks

are such long lost vanes.

I’ve about run my course

if I could just find the source

of life and breathing and current

maybe I could take a breath

and bask in the assurance

[aestheticsepia]

I’m an old picture

With a new meaning

Im a gold frame

With a plastic body

I’m a grown woman

With a child’s heart

I’m a fresh river

Filled with dead bodies

Is anything

Truly what meets the eye

[aestheticsepia]

am I the only one

that feels an ache in the

strum of every heart thump

with every thud

and every downbeat

I can’t seem to

lift my feet

to pick up the pieces

at least it’s

something I’m familiar with

glassy eyes in a smudged mirror

fast lit fires in a mind of terror

am I worth the help

that I request?

am I worth the safety

I want to feel?

if I retract my hand

will I still be real?

the bones and flesh

and heart of steel?

turn away, forget

look away from it

Will always be, and has always been

a train wreck

the dead bodies will decay

but the memory will stain

the metal, the leather chairs

and the gears

[aestheticsepia]

Dead men

Tell no tales.

But dead women

Haunt your nightmares.

Sweep it

Under the rug

And it’ll just make you sneeze.

Judge

And be not begotten

Your trial.

Sigh at the sunrise

And choke on the night.

Breathe in your own blood.

Drown in the puddles.

[aestheticsepia]

She held his hands,

Even though it made her bleed.

She kissed his lips,

Even though it suffocated her.

She washed his back,

Even though it soiled her dress.

[aestheticsepia]

Something about you,

Intrigued the calm in me.

Made me hum in curiosity.

And made that fleshy, red drum

Go ba-dum again.

The wild animal was told to sit,

The depression was blown away,

And the anxiety dissipated into fine dust.

Who are you?

I look into a mirror and see a peace in my eyes that had walked out of my home many a year ago.

I see my reflection of self acceptance and pride. A new look for me. An outfit I definitely never tried on.

Something about you,

Intrigued the bravery in me.

[aestheticsepia]

Forget it,

I’ll look for someone else.

I’ll find someone better.

Someone to

Raise my standards higher

Like they did with you.

Never mind,

Don’t worry,

I don’t need you anymore.

I don’t want you anymore.

You make my heart hurt.

But you make it beat

In excitement.

You make me swoon.

And you make me groan.

You make me angry.

And stress and worry.

While you sit back,

And have your other girls

Drop cherries in your mouth,

In white robes and golden shoes.

So never mind,

I’ll hand in my resignation.

[aestheticsepia]

Remind them

What absolute fury looks like

When it comes as a lamb

In human’s clothing.

Remind them

What hurricanes do

To once strong structures

Ruptures

Aren’t even the half of it.

Darling,

I will destroy you.

Shingle,

By brick,

By stone...

And then you’ll know.

I did have a heart

And it took you destroying me

To wake it up.

[aestheticsepia]

No, honey.

No, darling.

No, sweet.

No, you son of a gun.

You left.

You took your leave.

You took my bleeding heart,

Crushed it in your palm

And gave it back.

So don’t try to

Ask me how I’m doing.

Don’t try to

Relieve your conscious.

It happened.

It’s over.

Go back to sucking your thumb,

And being cradled by your mama.

No, you damn dolt.

You don’t get a second chance.

[aestheticsepia]

You are as toxic

As I wanted you to be.

You are as sweet,

As my revenge.

And you are as beautiful

As my delight

In your fall.

[aestheticsepia]

What do I want to be when I grow up?

An avalanche.

I want to crush

And destroy

All those who dare

To walk on me

To trample over me.

I want my wrath

To only spare them

The second of regret

Before they are swallowed

By rocks

And dust

And gravity.

[aestheticsepia]

Sometimes bursts of color grow in green fields.

Sometimes the color makes the fields greener.

[aestheticsepia]

I hang like a star in the dark

And I twinkle my little song

To myself.

I burn. I burn. I burn.

I fly in an unknown time.

Years have passed in seconds.

Light becomes our new clock.

And somehow, even though it’s dark

I can still see

The silhouette of mars.

I burn. I burn. I burn.

Twinkle, twinkle giant star.

Gas and ice, near yet far.

Above the sky, never nigh

A burning jewel of tears and sighs.

Twinkle, twinkle bright star

Hanging by the light of mars.

[aestheticsepia]

Burn, burn, burn them all, baby.

We’re all gonna bust one day anyways.

[aestheticsepia]

Love blooms in rural cities between old houses.

Sometimes beauty sprouts in the midst of dead grass and picket fences.

[kesus-deactivated20180911]

Young girls really are pressured now more than ever to be seen as beautiful and sexy and perfect like IG models and whatever the fuck…..like that’s why you see “me at 14 vs 14 year old girls today” posts……….we didn’t have this constant stream of content like they do…..content telling us to be perfect and to have perfect clothes and sharp eyeliner wings that look photoshopped and shit like that….I mean it’s always been there but not like this…and while I think girls should be able to dress however they want and do whatever they want…..you have to take into consideration the fact that this all stems from a toxic culture where women have to be perfect and beautiful…now at younger and younger ages….and it’s really gross…and the media continues to sexualize and like…make young girls seem older and more appealing than they actually are idk the whole thing makes me so uncomfortable and it’s only going to get worse :/

[djokovicnovak-deactivated201809]

And the wildest thing is, people will still try and justify it with the “there’s always been girls that dress older than they are!” argument. Which is true. But it was never the norm. Pre social media, most young girls were allowed be young girls. Here’s Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Lindsay Lohan at 14/15 in 2001-2007. They were arguably the biggest young stars of the time but this is how they presented

They aren’t being styled to look leagues older than they are. They’re allowed to just be their own age and look their own age. Now, here’s Millie Bobbie Brown at 13 in 2018, Veronika Bonell at 15/16 in 2017, Skai Jackson at 13 in 2015, and Caitlin Carmichael at 13 in 2017.

There is a deep problem in our society that this is what people are styling children to look like. They don’t look like children, they look like young adults. They could wear these exact same looks in 10 years and they wouldn’t be questioned because they’re dressed and made up to present as adults. This is what is presented as normal for young girls, this is the image they’re told is the “right” one, the one they should aspire to.

There’s nothing wrong with girls - or boys - wanting to be pretty. But there is a problem with young girls being constantly told that pretty for them means looking over 21 at 13.

[aestheticsepia]

Unfortunately, that is very true. It’s so hard to try to get people of today to see and understand how much the age has changed. Women of all ages are given a model prototype. A certain figure is praised. Not to mention every Barbie doll, every girl character has impossible bodily proportions. So what normal representation are girls really getting? None really. It’s constantly being drilled into via media that if they don’t have A, B and C, they aren’t pretty or attractive.

Miley and Selena in the early 2000’s; they were still pretty grown up. They did things that 15/16 year olds in the 1990’s wouldn’t have done. They dressed provacotivelh then too. But again they were in the movie/music industry. Every innocent young girl to ever enter that industry has come out on drugs, pregnant, or turned out.

So I guess I just beg the parents of today to look after your child. Look after their health. Their young minds. They are so impressionable.