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@afamilialproblems
Hi!!!
This is mostly just going to be me asking allofamilial how they would react to different situations, but if you're afamilial feel free to respond as well!
I haven't used tumblr before, but this is the only place I've found with a large amount of afamilial people lol
If you have any tips pls let me know
Starting to think I'm somewhere on the afam spectrum. When I was younger, I used to get this weird churning in my stomach if a show had siblings as main characters. But I could watch Steven Universe without any problem because the gems weren't fit neatly into nuclear family roles
As a whole I tend to gravitate more towards chosen family in comparison to blood relatives. This could be from the instability I have with my actual relatives, but I've always preferred my friends over family. I do consider myself demiplatonic as well, tho
I've had familial feelings for others. They tend to be very nurturing, protective instincts. Normally they only develop around people younger than me if I've learned they're going through something horrible but I do have exceptions. And when asked if I'd ever have kids one day even as a child I decided I would adopt over birthing one
I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I know I'm somewhere on it. But I don't quite know where. I do know labels aren't meant to be the 1 to 1 experience but I would like to hear where other afamspec folx think I should start looking :]
-🧚
I've struggled to find specific afamspec labels because there isn't a lot of information, so unfortunately I don't know anything that would fit. There is Greyfamilial but that would still be an umbrella term. I've heard other people saying that they have felt similar things, but unless someone else knows of a label, I would suggest making your own.
I came out to my best friend as afamilial today!
Ok I said I was maybe partially afamilial, but regardless, they were fine with it and tried to understand it as best they could (they’re also aspec so that probably helped them understand). We didn’t talk too long about it as they had to leave soon after, but it was really nice to tell someone and not have to go on a whole ass Ted Talk about A) what it is and B) why it’s not a bad thing to be.
That's amazing!!! I'm happy everything went well!
But yeah, having to explain your identity and then defend it, is really annoying lol
Is it alright to consider yourself afamilial due to exotrauma? (/genq)
We were just wondering due to one of our members being a fictive who is afamilial due to a certain thing that happened in his source and just don't want to be disrespectful (/neu)
I don't know enough to answer confidently, but I don't think there would be anything wrong with using the term afamilial.
If anyone knows otherwise, feel free to respond!
I'm never escaping this fandom
Happy Pride Month everyone can we please remember Aplatonic, Aqueerplatonic, Afamilial, Analterous (I probably spelt it wrong T0T), A-aesthetic (I also probably spelled that wrong-), and any other less known Aspec identities exist?
Also I’m very tired of seeing platonic and queerplatonic relationships becoming the new ‘All people experience this attraction’ of the Aspec community, cmon we can’t just repeat the cycle of doing this but with platonic and queerplatonic attraction instead of romantic and sexual attraction
I’m not saying to just stop having and portraying these types of relationships and stuff but just, remember we exist please
HAPPY PRIDE TO AFAMILIALS!!!
I have many feelings about how pride has been used in recent years to spread the use of exclusionary phrases and fails to fully include everyone. But pride is about being proud of your identity and bringing awareness to different identities and we need that with everything that's happening. Fuck Trump, Fuck ICE, and Fuck Facists.
Allofamilial people, does being able to call someone familial terms, like mom or dad, make you feel anything or are they just labels?
What is being afamilial like?
I just don't love my family just because I'm related to them?? I care about them to a degree cause I live with em and they provide for my needs, but I don't have the greatest family so mostly I'm kinda scared of em yelling at me.
I'm also sort of immune to found-family type situations.
I don't really understand the idea of unconditional love or loving someone despite whatever they do/have done just because they're family.
The idea of familial attraction directed towards me makes me vaguely uncomfortable, but when it's from my friends it doesn't bother me cause instead of framing it as "they care bout me platonically and familially and I only care bout em platonically" I just frame it as "we care bout each other".
I'm just not capable of loving "in a family way" or just because someone is related to me, and for a long time I thought I was broken for it, but starting a side blog bout it has made me feel better bout it and hopefully helped other afamspecs and/or allies who are allofamilial.
Hope this helps
What are family gatherings like for allofamilial people? Are they something you look forward to?
Oooo the pet thing is interesting.
Personally, I don't think so? I feel that familial and platonic feelings get projected onto them.
I haven't figured out a better word for it, but I just call it feeling a fondness towards a pet rather than affection.
Yeah, that makes more sense to me, but I'm not the best at figuring out what people love lol
I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but is familial love different from the love one feels for their pets?
I honestly don't know. I don't, but i have no clue if that's true for other afams.
Most people say that pets are like friends or family, so that could be why I don't feel love towards pets (apl and afam), but again, I don't know.
If anyone else has an answer, please let me know because I've wondered about this before.
me when i can't tell if it's afamiliality or just my family. i like the idea of siblings when i first think about it, like i have a person i mentally call my sister, but when i think about us actually filling the typical biological sibling role, it just absolutely ruins it for me (it's worth mentioning that i don't have any "real siblings"). the idea of found family, ideas of a found mother, i love being loved by someone like a daughter, unless it's my actual mother. i wish i knew my cousins and i wish i knew more about my family tree, but this may just be longing for what others have and to be quote-unquote "normal." the thought of a mother and a father is just a bit disgusting to me. i don't know why, my parents aren't bad people, i just don't love them. i know i should, we just don't click. my mother is like a colleague and my dad is just some guy who lives here. maybe if we had more in common we'd get along better. we don't.
do you think i'm afamilial or is this just my family?
That's not really a question I can answer. Love is weird, and so is the absence of it.
While I don't know the nuances of your story, if you want to call yourself afamilial for not feeling love towards your blood family, go for it. I can't give you a label, but if you want it, take it. You can research afamspec identities or create your own. I chose this label 2 years ago after hearing about it one time, and it's been great.
If you find out that you feel the way you do because of something else, then you still get an answer. Times going to pass regardless, it's about having comfort during that time.
No matter what, I'd still look into all of your options and not rush it. And have fun with whatever you choose to do!
“Autism doesn’t cause low empathy! In fact we’re all just hyperempathetic we’re not bad peo-“
SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.
There’s a few things going on with this statement.
1. Assuming that low empathy makes someone a bad person. It does not. Actions are what matter, not empathy levels.
2. Demonizing autistic people whose low/no empathy they attribute to their autism. Autism fundamentally impacts the way you interact with the world, others, and yourself. That includes empathy.
Anyway I love you people with low/no empathy this is a safe space for you <3
Signed,
A very pissed off autistic person with fluctuating empathy levels
afam culture is forgetting the names and faces of every extended family member you meet
Allofamilial people, do you actually feel like you can't stop loving your family no matter what?
I keep hearing people say that even though their family is awful, they still love them.
Parents need to learn how to respect boundaries.
