Akeara

Also known as Papa Xander, Akeara, Michelle, and a few other names...

[mspaprophet]

Tumblr is going to delete all NSFW content on the website starting on December 17, inevitably banning countless artists who have posted NSFW art, writers who write NSFW stories, and generally ruining the website completely.

In solidarity with the artists whose digital profiles will be erased, MSPA Prophet will cease to make any further posts if this policy is enacted.

But for the final series of posts: If you’re an artist who’s leaving Tumblr because of the policy change, submit this blog a (SFW) post with your art and a link to other social media profiles where we can find your work! Knowing where to find you after this site completely collapses is the important part.

Homestuck artists are of course very encouraged, but any art is welcome. See you for the next two weeks before Tumblr turns to complete garbage.

[heretherebeprints]

@ Derpycon 2018! Come see us at table A16!

[thechanelmuse]

Love this! Her pieces are dope af. 

[doritosandavocados]

What the heck?? I would BUY those, those are freaking amazing

[somecutething]

What are they doing!? 😂😂

[liquidstar]

any modern fma au where kain fuery doesn’t have a podcast is invalid

[liquidstar]

he’s just the fma equivalent to griffin mcelroy or something

[seelcudoom]

“hey im kainne fury and this is shou tucker and welcome to monster factory”

[liquidstar]

FUCK YOU

[6qubed]

THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

[trilllizard666]

being in the fma fanbase is like playing Russian Roulette except the bullets are tucker jokes and memes about maes hughes dying

[theartofanimation]

Taraneh Karimi  -  http://alternative66.tumblr.com  -  https://www.instagram.com/alternativeo_o  -  https://taranehkarimi.jimdo.com  -  https://www.linkedin.com/in/taraneh-karimi-88623352  -  https://www.behance.net/taranehk660966  -  https://twitter.com/LonaGame  -  https://www.pinterest.es/taranehk66

[flyfella]

At the pharmacy

Me: wise sage, give me what I need to banish the darkness from my mind Pharmacist: here’s your antidepressants. Me: no curse of mine shall befall you from my dying breath Pharmacist: thank you

[shadyuck]

I love how this post implies that the pharmacist is just used to you by now

[libraford]

Okay, so here’s the story about the pumpkins:

My friend got married yesterday and we missed the wedding because of work but we made it to the reception. Because its mid-September and the reception was in a nature center (awesome!) there was a little bit of a fall theme. Not overbearingly, but the tables all had these tiny pumpkins. 

So they’re cleaning up at the end of it and we’re still hanging out because we haven’t seen these people in forever and we can talk until three in the morning when we get together. All of a sudden, the Maid of Honor hands us a tiny pumpkin. 

“Take one.”

“Um… okay?”

“Take another.”

“….?”

“It is my duty as Maid of Honor to make sure that the guests leave with an uncomfortable number of tiny pumpkins.”

So it turns out that she’d gotten a bunch of them for a Halloween party last year and after the party was over her mom threw them into the compost heap thinking that would be the end of it. But what she didn’t seem to realize was that if you put pumpkins in a compost heap- it grows more pumpkins. It grows pumpkins exponentially. Serious mathematical anomaly pumpkins. 

So this year she has even more tiny pumpkins and she figured it would be a good idea to have them as decor for the reception. BUT- she would still have to throw them out at the end of the day and no matter where you throw them you are doomed to have a ridiculous amount of tiny pumpkins growing SOMEWHERE at your fault. 

So everyone left with at least two tiny pumpkins and that’s how we made friends with the Maid of Honor. 

[libraford]

So I forgot about it and then the next morning I woke up and found these two tiny pumpkins in my purse and had a puzzling moment of ‘what?’

[libraford]

We were invited to the Maid of Honor’s house the other day so we could:

take some of the flowers off her hands

help with some post-wedding stuff

watch the presidential debate

play Clue for like three hours

drink a lot of booze. 

And there are just… tiny pumpkins EVERYWHERE.

They were in the bathroom.

At the end of the night, I counted 26 tiny pumpkins, and that was just what I could see. 

[libraford]

It happened again.

Three pumpkins ended up in my purse this time. 

One of them has a face. 

I need to stop drinking with this woman. 

[libraford]

this is getting out of hand.

[libraford]

[libraford]

Okay so I finally had a day off and decided that the best way to handle the pumpkin situation was to eat them and muffins sounded fucking fantastic. But I found out really fast that most recipes call for a ‘can’ of pureed pumpkin and I don’t have a scale to go by. So I figured that I had six pumpkins, it would probably amount to something like one can, right?

Well… no. 

It ended up being something like two and a half cans-ish. And that’s a really rough estimate. Turns out there’s a lot more meat on those things than you think there’d be. So I figured I could do something like double it and then make a half batch. 

But then I ran out of sugar. I mis-measured the baking soda. I only had whole cloves, so I had to grind them down and had to estimate how much I needed. I couldn’t find the liquid measure.

I’m mixing up this giant bowl of pumpkin batter goo thinking shit shit shit this is going to be a mess. There’s no way anyone is going to be able to eat these things. And there’s no muffin cups. But I already made it this far and I’m stubborn as hell so in the oven they go. 

I… kind of… forgot about them? Woops!

Place starts smelling like Yankee Candle and I’m like SHIT. Get over to the oven and… 

they’re… 

….somehow perfect?

Maybe a little dry, but they’re fucking delicious. Fucking magic pumpkins. Truly I am a witch. 

So the moral of the story is that if life gives you tiny pumpkins, make them into muffins and give them right back. 

Also roast the seeds because hell yeah. 

[libraford]

Happy Halloween, everyone!

[a-literal-swarm-of-bees]

We’ve found her in real life guys

An actul fictional character in real life

she even baked with them

[libraford]

This is not the only evidence posed to me that I might, in fact, be a fictional character. 

[probably-a-siren-deactivated202]

It’s been a year since I’ve seen this post, and it somehow got better.

[kaijuno]

Hi please watch this video of a man getting rekt by a 450hp fan

[bunjywunjy]

if I had a 450hp fan, this is exactly the sort of shit I would get up to

[muzzlem]

🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎

[thoodleoo]

bad greek myth concept: a siren but she only sings despacito

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

her name is alexa

[subsolars]

this is so sad

[berniesrevolution]

[zanmor]

these ones

[lavendermanna]

oh we can get even more specific than just a list of billionaires:

here are all of the scum who control oil, coal, and natural gas

here are the ones who run the factories

and here are the ones who extract the raw resources that the others need to make it all work

[libertarian-therapist]

23,000 people are reblogging a hit list

[bogleech]

Good.

[jenniferr-jareau]

I don’t even know where to begin with this

[dragon-in-a-fez]

which Shakespeare play is this

[brainemptynothink]

adhd culture is plugging in your headphones ready to bOp and then two hours later realising you haven’t actually pressed play

[carbonscales]

As a 90′s kid, it blows my mind that origami youtube videos exist. You can look up any model and watch a pair of manicured hands assemble the thing in real time, in full color, in 3D, with cheerful flute music in the background. When I was little, you had a library book with no words and these esoteric little dotted lines and arrows and it was just you, your hands, your paper, and the cruel, uncaring eyes of God.

[paper-mario-wiki]

NORMALIZE the thing that looks like an old man living in your basement

DESTIGMATIZE the act of closing your vent to stop his dry whispering– which you cannot tell whether it is random or directed at you– from reaching you

ROMANTICIZE the idea of counting the number of stairs he climbs each night and praying he never makes it to the top

[paper-mario-wiki]

GUYS THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

we HAVE to let people know its okay to experience:

being repulsed by the putrid smell of his bile

feeling sick when seeing your grandparents because of the thing in your basement

locking your bedroom door even though you know it wouldnt be enough to stop him

letting your faucets run for a few seconds every morning because ever since he arrived more and more of your tap water had come out black as ink

knowing exactly what he looks like even though the only time you ever saw him was your first encounter with him at your uncle’s funeral when you were 6

questioning why youre the only one who remembers your dog

why cant anyone else remember your dog

what happened to your dog

oh my god i can still hear him whimpering downstairs some nights

i dont know if its actually him or just that thing taunting me

[hoofbeast]

@normal-horoscopes

[artbytesslyn]

To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes