Delight yourself in the Lord
My mental health is something that I've been dealing with for quite awhile now. Ever since I finished my college years I always value everything and anything that is good for my mental being. When pandemic happened, I am beyond bless because God led me to where ever I am right now. I got the employment that I prayed for but the journey to get here was a real struggle. I've jumped from one company to another simply because I didn't felt myself and again, mental health dragged me down. Days of loneliness, anxiety and frustration all together. There was heaviness in my chest that led to shortness in breath, I literally thought I was having a heart attack. I cried and questioned myself and God, why?
Why am I dealing with this? Why am I alone? Why nothing has happened in my life yet? My friends have a stable job even if it was pandemic, My previous colleagues still has their jobs, my siblings are paid very well. I compared myself to others and it made me feel like I was worthless.
However, one thing remained in the middle of the frustrations and pain, questions and comparisons and that is my faith in the Lord. I continuously prayed. I told him everything I want in a Job that I am looking for and I really believed in my heart that he will answer my prayers.
One day, I was dealing with my anxiety and this bible verse was the verse of the day in YouVersion app
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
I was very sad that day but after reading this verse I know that God is sending me a message. So I prayed and told him that whatever his will, I'll follow it. On the same day, there was this job posting and I want the position and what the company offers so bad. So I prayed, and asked God that I want it but if he doesn't want me to be in that company then I respect as long as he lead my way.
Long story short, I got the position and every thing that I prayed for to God was checked. It was a permanent work from home set up, Good pay, healthy work environment and my employers are very nice. To this day, I have been working in the company for 8 months now and on my 5th month I was promoted right away. I still feel the same enjoyment and love for my job which is I really value and grateful for.
The lesson here is that our pain and frustration will be used by God to lead us in the better place. He will use everything that we've been through to bless us. If I didn't felt that my mental health was being drag from my previous job I wouldn't quit and I wouldn't be where I am right now. He is a great God and this is a testimony that I'll always look back on because it reminds me that my pain is valid, that whatever I am going through right now is going to be God's instrument to lead me where he wants me to be.
I hope this brings comfort to you, your tears and anxiety, frustrations and questions are normal part of our life but one this is for sure, he will never leave us. God loves us too much.