Plomeek Soup Recipe

I used to be a fan… Now I’m a whole air conditioner! any pronouns | kinda gay | kinda stupid

[vitariesocks]

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

[vitariesocks]

2 pics. no caption

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[theunfairfolk]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

[perequiste]

things will work out + it’s still early + not everything is lost + trees

[theskydoesgreatthingsnow]

LOTR abridged

[drtrinitysantos]

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

[deutsche-bahn]

Mein highlight vom letzten Larp-Event war einfach das kurze Gespräch zwischen zwei Mitspielern, die sich über ein neues Crewmitglied unterhielten:

"Wir haben jetzt auch 'nen echten Ritter in der Crew"

"Boah. Was kann der denn so?"

Beide schauen zur Seite, wo gerade mitten im Raum ein Ritter unter einer Limbo-Stange durchtanzt, die von einem Satyr gehalten wird. Daneben steht eine vierköpfige Band mit Musketier-Outfits und macht Livemusik.

"Limbo"

[scunthotter]

I know I've talked about Ilya being frustrated he can't brag about pulling Shane but you know who else would be frustrated about not being able to brag? Yuna Hollander would be so frustrated that she basically has the two best hockey players in the world in her family and she can't even bring up that now she has TWO sons in the mlh and oh what is your son up to Sharon? Hmm that sounds rough that you have to send him money every month. She's in meetings, maybe there are other players agents and managers and they try to bond by putting down Rozanov and she wants to go "your client couldn't even touch Ilya's points per game. Don't fucking talk about one of my boys." and she's so pissed off by the interaction she gets that player removed from the brand deal.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[yamada-ryo]

it implies a "postcum"

[trans-ralsei]

the postcum movement encompasses a variety of artistic, cultural and philosophical movements. it emerged in the mid 20th century as a skeptical response to cum,

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

there a baby fox living under our deck and he literally looks like that "full of milk" drawing except somehow rounder

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

ROTUND

[toonfinch-deactivated20231219]

artistic rendition

[strawberrymilkshakeearrings]

im actually crying rn thank you so much 

[killhitleragain]

just a little sex

[transxfiles]

CC: 

Kermit: Oh, oh, uh... well, fine. Listen, after these messages we’ll be back with a lot of great funny sketches and, and some neat songs... hm, and, and maybe some sex-

Yellow Muppet: What?

Kermit, reassuringly: Hm? Well, just a little sex-

[werewolf-transgenderism]

cannot watch the return of the king without thinking of that bad bootleg with the fucked up subtitles that said “this will be the end of Gender as we know it” instead of “this will be the end of Gondor as we know it”

[werewolf-transgenderism]

so true gandalf

[lizardbog]

[unheimlichian]

[official-boob-posts]

official boob post

[swanfloatieknight]

Der langjährige Deutsche-Bahn-Fahrer rechnet nicht nur mit Verspätungen und Zugausfällen, sondern er nutzt sie zu seinem Vorteil