Alaska Floats

20•F•INTJ•gay af•on year 7 of tumblr, memes, occasional fandom, dogs, latest obsession: Queen

[what-even-is-thiss]

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

[c-53]

Wild caught clownfish will be like ‘hm you see, the anemone you got me is a slightly different color and tentacle width than the one I had back home, so I will not begin hosting it. I’ll be a sort of wandering ronin for the rest of my days.’ And then a captive bred clownfish will be like ‘ok so I have this curved rock I found and I just sit above it and it take care of me 👍’

[c-53]

Some of my favorite clownfish hosts

[phantomrose96]

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

[phantomrose96]

people killed: 0

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1

ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2

[phantomrose96]

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

[aka-blaa]

You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.

[phantomrose96]

Official addition to this post.

[ivy-michaels]

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

[gender-luster]

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

[hugintheraven]

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

[gallusrostromegalus]

Etymologists are on Tumblr for the same reason Primatologists are out in the jungle: It's where the Monkeys are.

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[cryoverkiltmilk]

#the ancient texts

... My reblog was only six years ago!

[feignedsobriquet]

i love @makingtrouble's poem for their cat, socks, so so very much i needed to eat it draw it 🥹🥺

[gaystation4]

[glowingghosty]

i don't say this very often so you can trust me when i say for the love of god please unmute

[foxofninetales]

Audio description: Very loud trilling purrring.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Very important kitty noises

[teaboot]

I think your cat is probably a dove

[sagetheomnivore]

I quite like the implication that instead of waving him off and saying “yeah yeah yeah shut up I don’t know what that means”, Ryland would’ve sat down and let Rocky describe the words, find the human equivalent, and then type them into the computer to allow this verbal beating

[amrv-5]

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

[nightonblogmountain]

[alexmey-does-an-arts]

MY STUPID FUCKING CAT WONT STOP TRYING TO TOUCH THE BEEHIVE

[anywhoozles]

[kuttithevangu]

All fantasy authors wish they had a bigger bathtub in their house. You can tell by every bathing scene ever written into a fantasy novel

[cannibalchicken]

[serethespider]

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[lowpawly]

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

[distinguishedbaloney]

[eilooxara]

Non cooking spray stick

[eilooxara]

Non spray stick cooking

[that-house]

Non cooking stick spray

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[autism-official]

[great-tweets]

We just knew.

[awed-frog]

As a reminder, this is what she looks like:

[yougetsomekisses]

[larkiethings]

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she’d gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

[darthmelyanna]

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

[tigerses]

her!!!

[madeofstarsandfairylights]

Baby Miette!!!

[ottermatopoeia]

Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped

[devil-with-three-heads]

IT’S MIETTE!!!!

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! Miette is joyful and whimsical!

[vykodlak]

of course, the best part of any character's corruption arc is their cool new outfit