Dare To Join My Hoard?

Aldera The Glittering Dragoness of the Mirror Mountains

[alderatheglittering]

Damn girl, are you a rare enchanted piece of jewelry? Cuz I wanna bury you in my hoard and never let adventurers steal you away ;) *flirting*

[fuzzyspiderpawz]

my desire to have an orbees bath (especially as a child) is actually just my desire to be a dragon and bath in my massive hoard of gold and jewels (or whatever objects I can safely bath in as a dragon)

same with my love of ball pits and foam pits (despite how unsanitary they are)

[valtsv]

my favorite personal dragon headcanon is that like birds they also can't see glass, but it just isn't an issue for them

[valtsv]

totally unbothered

[kickair8p]

So from the dragon's point of view, every once in a while, glitter magically showers down around them with a pleasant tinkling noise.

[cipheramnesia]

Every time this is on my dash I wonder what's happened in Wales before focusing on the text.

[alderatheglittering]

What the fuck is glass???

[valtsv]

i know that when a book describes dragons picking up their riders they probably mean scruffing them by the neck in their mouths like a kitten, but i always imagine something like this

[takeadeepbreathandexist]

Don’t leave this in the tags. It’s too funny not to be enjoyed by everyone

[pomuf]

@exispencer-crisis can you confirm?

[thaliawalkstothepark]

Yeah, this is one of my favorite things about having a rider.

[alderatheglittering]

Personally I like to hold my riders like how dads clutch babies in one hand

[waggoboyo]

Hold the fuckin phone

[waggoboyo]

Do you even know what day it is today....

[firstginger]

Enter into the world of the Forgotten Realms and beyond.

finally completed my dnd quiz! featuring a mix and match of 30 races and 14 classes, discover who you would be in the forgotten realms! i'd be a satyr artificer :)

[sleepy-sham]

wanted to fact check this with @evilwizard, seems pretty reliable to me though

[evilwizard]

it’s a fair and just system

[bunniope]

wizard seeing a small crowd of people and their knees immediately buckle in sexual pleasure imagining how much damage a fireball would do

[grimeclown]

Can we get an ounce of fucking privacy

[grimeclown]

I mean they

[ca314159bara]

hate taking my stupid cursed blade through TSA, it always sets off the metal detector and some idiot always tries to take it off its scabbard and gets their soul stolen

[secondhanddragon]

going into A Cave tomorrow, real dragon vibe hours about to happen >:)

[precariouswizardry]

[charlesoberonn]

"A little" is exactly how much time you'll live.

[sexygaywizard]

Hater doesn't want to see a wizard balling

[fogwarden]

today in humorous subversions of classic fantasy tropes: gnarled wrinkled old witch/hag in a swamp hut who is quite rude and insulting and otherwise quite short with the party who requests a myriad of strange and vile ingredients for the adventurers to fetch which she throws one by one into her massive bubbling cauldron as they're delivered. when the last component arrives, she stands up from her old wicker rocking chair and steps directly into the cauldron and sinks down and goes "ahhh that's nice. sorry kiddos in my age my joints get real bad in the fall without a nice soak every now and then. oh yeah just take whatever you need from the hut i dont care, me casa is su casa and all."

[toskarin]

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

[toskarin]

[cipheramnesia]

Just checking in with the chuckable imp union, how's negotiations going?

[wildhaunt]

it's really up in the air right now

[sapphling]

lmao was OP under the thrall of a dark entity or perhaps some kind of unknowable puppeteer?? 😂🤣

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

"you can't reclaim the f slur" well YOU'LL never reclaim the ACCURSED SCEPTER! NYEAH HEH HEH HEARGH *vaporizes you with the accursed scepter*

[anexperimentallife]

[dreamertrilogys]

[ID: a tweet by ray of sunlight @/GaterHouser that reads “medieval hardcore frontman at the show WHO HERE WAS SIRED OUT OF WEDLOCK… THIS ONE IS FOR ALL MY BASTARDS ITS CALLED MY DAD THE PRIEST LOVES ALE MORE THAN ME ONE TWO THREE FOUR” /end ID]

[sadgollum-blog]

I took some creative liberties

[sunshinetomorrow]

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle