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izzy's playlists!
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@alleged-alastor
ITâS HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E
I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y
ok who the fuck got this on my dash itâs still june
get spooky
how does this appear every june
@hellsite-hall-of-fame in case you still donât have this one
youâre telling me a gay coded this
Yes and his name was Alan Turing
Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because letâs be honest thatâs just what the USA is
The rest of the world: So⌠youâre a big country?
The states, standing on each otherâs shoulders: Y- yes,,,
I love how everyone whoâs reblogged this hasnât added anything on or tagged anything on it. Theyâre all just like âYeah. Thatâs it. Thatâs the entire United States summed up in one post-â
#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird
Yeah 100%
10/10 can confirm
absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them
I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and canât understand my life choices. Itâs completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.
every single fucking time one of those articles of âthings europeans find weird about americaâ complains that sales tax isnât included
states set the sales tax!!! itâs literally different across state lines!!! american retailers canât add it bc theyâd have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!
It gets even more insane! Californiaâs clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone elseâs! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.
Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states canât set their own environmental guidelines! âFuck you!â says California, âwe remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isnât a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!â
âBut youâre making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!â they whine.
âFuck you!â California shouts. âAnd while weâre at it, we donât give a shit what you say, Mister President, weâre gonna open our damn states when weâre good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, weâve decided to legalize weed!â
âBut the Federal Government says itâs illegal!â shouts the other states.
âFuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!â
âNow, hang on!â shouts the Federal government. âYou can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!â
âFINE!â shouts California. âHey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!â
âHow the fuck is that supposed to work!?â
âI DONâT FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!â
âBy the way, if youâre gay married elsewhere, we wonât recognize it,â mutters Texas.
âOH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!âÂ
And so it goes and so it goesâŚ
âWhatâs sales tax?â says Montana. âWhatâs road maintainence?â âalso whatâs a speed limit?â
*gestures at Florida* Oh also, the reason Florida is âso weirdâ is only PARTIALLY because people who live here are bonkers â itâs also because Florida state laws around privacy do not include the details of arrests! So in other states, when youâre arrested, it can just show up in the registrar like â25 yo man arrested 04/30/20â but in Florida they can (and do) print the details of why they were arrested: â25 yo man arrested 4/30/20 for riding an alligator through town while naked and smoking weed.â I promises you the other states have PLENTY of weirdos, they just donât get their dirty laundry gleefully aired in the local news.
No, definitely not :D
FAKE TRANS DOCUMENTARY/ORGANIZATION: Hereâs the ridiculous story about how extreme the far-right is willing to go to dehumanize trans people. I was nearly tricked into doing an elaborate anti-trans documentary by Matt Walshâs film crew this month. It started with an email from the âGender Unity Projectâ a couple weeks ago. They claimed they were doing a film on the trans community and gave me names of well-known trans individuals and surgeons they had interviewed. It all seemed normal at first. I even talked to the producer (Makenna Lynn Waters) on the phone beforehand. She sounded like a well-meaning cis film graduate who was just curious about the trans community.
When we chatted, she claimed the documentary was self-funded. I was suspicious because she had finished college recently, but figured she was just rich (who has that kind of money?). Later, she told me the individual they were interviewing in Chicago had suddenly canceled (this happens, but is still sus). Then she offered to fly me to Nashville: where Matt Walsh lives. They finally sent me a release form this morning, which strangely didnât have the name of the company on it. So, I looked up the Gender Unity Project. It used a registered agent to shield the company owners. Itâs dubious but sometimes registered agents simply make it easier to incorporate. Then I looked Makenna Lynn up. Her name didnât show up anywhere.
After some heavy Google searching, I realized she used her middle name as her last in our emails. I found the IMDB page of her real name (Makenna Waters). It turns out sheâs a producer for the Matt Walsh show! Thatâs not a red flag: thatâs a gun to your face. If youâre not familiar, Matt Walsh is a white supremacist who makes a living denying the basic humanity of trans people. She wasnât just a producer for his show: she worked on over 200 episodes of it! I finally found her Twitter, which features videos of Walsh berating protesters and Ben Shapiro doing his usual BS.
I decided to look closer into the âGender Unity Project.â After searching its state registration number, I learned it was registered to Justin Folk, a white supremacist documentarian who works for Matt Walsh and Prager U. His initials (jrkfolk) were also listed in the release I thankfully refused to sign. So, if youâre contacted by these slimy assholes, donât respond. The last thing we need right now is another âgotchaâ anti-trans documentary! Stay alert and take any media personalities with a grain of salt.
And they say weâre the ones tricking people?
Posted yesterday, 8th February 2022
Regarding my last post where I let folks vote on how I should do his eyes. Had some say to do all three and well...I couldn't resist. I'm doing all them at once
Demigender pride!
Ok, so I was reading this news story:
So far so normal, right? But then:
Like what. And then:
Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist.Â
well would you look at that
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Trans guys coming out like
Trans girls coming out like
Genderfluid people who fluctuate between male and female be like
Queer people going back to school
fucks sake
god dammit
Okay now which one is clearer? 1?
or 2?
Maybe just take off the glasses!?
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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but itâs also kind of an amazing two-line poem? âHis Wife has filled his house with chintzâ is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and âchintzâ is a perfect word choice hereâsonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then âto keep it real I fuck him on the floorâ collapses that whole mood with short percussive soundsâbut itâs still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: âfuck him on the floor.â The use of âchintzâ is indeed great word choice.
Because Iâm insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of âkeep it realâ juxtaposed with âchintz.â It causes me to interpret the âchintzâ more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of âfuck,â which is a contrast with âchintzâ but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where âchintzâ is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is âfilled with chintzââsomething that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with âkeep it real.â
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wifeâs marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something âreal.â Thatâs a story, and itâs just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, yâall. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
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i still havent gotten over this post
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why is bob short for robert
how does one get âbillyâ out of âwilliamâ?
How in hell do you get âDickâ from âRichardâ?
you ask him nicely
you ask him nicely
i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
Thereâs a kid in my class named Richard Hunter
Dick Hunter
aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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The weirdest thing about the UK is that they donât clap at the end of movie trailers. What the fuck.
not to mention the fact that they donât pour their pepsis into their buckets of popcorn and eat the resulting mush, known as âpissy shittiesâ here in the good ol US of A
What the fuck is âpissy shittiesâ?
pissy shitties is when you mix pepsi and popcorn to create a rich and smooth treat, excellent for enjoying a movie with friends
Woah woah woah⌠slow down there. Canadian joining the party. Americanâs clap at the end of movie trailers? Like every trailer? Or do you mean just the movie? And is âpissy shittiesâ an actual thing? How does it not leak onto your pants? Oh and sorr-eh for interrupting!
Here in the USA, most theaters sell buckets meant specifically for pissy shitties, called piss buckets, which are usually around like $30 - $40. Some Americans like the feeling of leaky buckets on their jeans and consider it a part of the theater experience like post-credit brawls and sticky floors. I agree with the latter tbh.
The clapping is a normal show of respect and it occupies our hands so we donât eat all our pissy shitties before the movie starts
Y'all need to stop this
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