You May Say I'm A Dreamer

Back on Tumblr to see if there's anything even going on here anymore. I work at the best pizza place in Colorado Springs

[whitepeopletwitter]

[matchgirl42]

What made me just outright giggle at the absurdity of it all is reading about these bunkers in particular: https://www.businessinsider.com/photos-of-survival-condo-project-luxury-doomsday-shelter-2017-4 and seeing that their plan to keep the Unwashed Masses from intruding on them during the apocalypse is armed guards up on the ground patrolling the perimeter, which just illustrates the mindset of these people, they think they can buy anything, including the idea that people will voluntarily stick around and defend them once society collapses.

[systlin]

Okay

I went to that link and looked at the pictures and like….they don’t post the location of that bunker but.

I think I know where it is.

I’ve been north of Witchita Kansas, which is where they say it is, and I Recognize That Landscape, y’all.

Also, the Mr. Is a professional welder.

So like. Uh. Well.

[teaboot]

Sure would be terrible if someone saw this and felt motivated to break a law or two

[asomdpoakdoakd-deactivated20180]

why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.

[salami-dono]

My father says I complain a lot for someone who lives here for free. Whaaaat…?

I just asked him to rinse his plate so it would be easier for me to clean later!

[hampop]

[kimpossibooty]

An artsy wall hanging for a kitchen that reads “It’s 4:20 Somewhere”

[yourbigsisnissi]

Like What’s attractive about a man who isn’t excited as hell to be with you? Who doesn’t smile when you walk up? Who doesn’t hold your hand? Who isn’t all in? What’s attractive about a man who is too prideful to just let go and love? What’s attractive about an emotionally unavailable man?

[tarynel]

This is one of my favorite post on here. Like yes. I’m making this my header.

[darshanaheena]

the juggalos hate trump, guy fieri is an lgbt ally, & smash mouth is pro-cunnilingus: the entities are growing stronger & soon, with the powers of faygo, ranch, & ska, they will merge to their final form, the One who shall destroy fascism in america as prophesied by the Gods

[laughterkey]

#i’ll take whatever at this point

[punkiztan-deactivated20181006]

sometimes a bitch jus want a love letter u know

[tangled-pixel-harpsichord]

[princesstigerbelle]

When cats stretch and spread their little toebeans out, reblog if you agree

[waterdowntheoldelera]

not being really overweight but not being thin is a weird place because you never look quite as good as your friends and you’re in that spot that everyone tells you “you’re not fat!” but doesn’t want to say you’re thin and no matter if your weight shifts you always sort of look the same to yourself and in some situations you can hide your appearance but in others its alarmingly obvious, and buying clothes is like a luck of the draw as to if you’ll look thin or huge because it feels like there isn’t an in between 

[quomododragon]

My students are up to something. They keep coming up to me and handing me pieces of fruit, and when I ask why, they just smile cryptically and say, “Don’t worry about it.”

[quomododragon]

Like, the apples I get. That’s a teacherly thing to give. But one of them just straight up handed me a grape.

[quomododragon]

I took a sick day today and sent an email to the first girl to hand me a piece of fruit, asking if I could have an explanation now.

Her response was to send me this meme:

That clarifies exactly nothing, thanks.

[quomododragon]

Walked into school today to an email from her saying: “There’s more to come, hope it doesn’t leave you *sour* (you’ll get that later).”

Ominous.

[quomododragon]

Just before my first class of the day, one of my students came floating in, a black cloak billowing behind her, hood pulled low over her eyes.

“An offering,” she said, handing me a plain white bag with a green ribbon.

Inside is this:

Life gave me a plastic lemon.

[quomododragon]

WE HAVE AN ANSWER!

Apparently this was the result of a number of my students playing Truth or Dare at a birthday party. I’m not sure which one of them came up with “I dare you to confuse Magistra by handing her a piece of fruit without explanation”, but I 100% approve of any thought process that ends with me getting free food.

[pajamaben]

Rules for meeting a dog:

1) be cool

2) pet it

3) do not steal it

4) stop running from the owner

5) put it down

6) this isn’t worth jail time

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via SilviuMajor)

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via lyss121)

[lyricsedits]

so hold me tight or don’t

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T // Fall Out Boy

[brok3n-bones]

Visit Original Link

[futchcassidy]

#hozier is lesbian

[lovlae]

he completely changed the feel of it how magical

[flavoracle]

Twitter has a 140 character limit, yet I still found a way to tell one of the longest and most obnoxious knock-knock jokes of all time within a single tweet.

I am more proud of this accomplishment than any human right has the right to be.

[yd12k]

The dads are evolving

[werewolfpresbyterian]

They have learned our technology, they control our communication