retired

[alltheshatteredpieces]

We Exist

To the guy on the bus, ranting about how he’d like to beat up “all those fags”;

I was frozen in the seat in front of you, listening to you tell your friend about how people like me deserve to be physically attacked.

To the girls in the hallway, worrying about lesbians in the locker rooms;

The girl near you had a lesbian pin on her backpack. Her face was tight and her knuckles white as she ran past you, up the stairs.

To the “friend” who told me I’ll meet my fairytale prince;

You still don’t get it. You say you just “don’t understand it,” but you don’t want to either. You want me to be like you.

To the guy who told my (gay) friend he’d fix them;

They only talked to you because you were harassing another obviously uncomfortable girl. Two out of the three girls you hit on were gay. You insisted they just hadn’t had you.

To the tumblr user who insisted a-specs are not parts of the LGBT+ community;

Immediately your post was reblogged with a thousand people talking about how proud they were to include us. You just said they were delusional. It still hurt.

To the straight girls who want a gay best friend but are terrified of lesbians;

You don’t seem to understand what you’re saying. You don’t seem to notice the faces of the closeted people around you. Why are you so afraid?

To the LGBT+ people who don’t believe in non-gay/lesbians;

We exist. We are here. And just because you are too doesn’t mean you get to decide what is and isn’t.

To the people who insist on calling others by their “real” names and pronouns;

“Birth” does not mean “real.” “Legal” does not mean “real.” Identity means real.

To the “friend” who told me I shouldn’t “make such a big deal” about being gay;

I am here, and I am proud. I am not sorry if my identity and expression of it offends you. I will not hide who I am because you don’t want to see.

To the adults saying I’m too young to be political;

My existence is political. The majority of people believe that I don’t exist, or that I shouldn’t. When politics affect the very basic human rights of me and people like and unlike me, it’s not my choice to be political anymore. You get to choose because you aren’t affected.

For everyone who knows exactly what I’m talking about;

You are valid. You exist. You can be proud. You are not wrong. You are not sinful. Do not let your voice be drowned.

[alltheshatteredpieces]

It’s been a few years since I wrote this post. I’ve grown, and so has the world. But not enough. This is still a daily experience for too many, and is still relevant.  Most importantly, we are still fighting.

I’m still here, and so are you. We exist, we are important, and we are proud. I love you.

[kidrat]

have some fucking tips for androgynous presentation that mixes femme and masc styles and isn’t just ‘be afab and wear trousers from the men’s section’

recently I wore some of those trousers with the wide non form fitting legs   and added small heeled boots. 10/10 would recommend I felt very high fashion. looked masc but was making the femme click clack heel sound.

basic loungy outfits can be made 100% more queer by adding colour. srsly jeans with a nice tshirt is queer as fuck if the jeans are orange.

wearing the femmest outfit possible, long skirt, cute blouse, etc. becomes a power move when you do so without a single shred of makeup. bonus if your hair is short. bonus if it’s not a pixie. bonus if your shoes are stompy

find all your Statement Pieces. wear them together. voila.

we all know about suspenders. now put them where they don’t belong. attach them to skirts. attach them to your trousers but leave them hanging

literally just wear stuff you think looks rad because if you enjoy both masculine and feminine clothing styles it naturally follows the stuff you think looks rad together will end up being genderfuck

embrace alternative fashion/weird charity shop finds/vintage/stuff that breaks fashion rules even if its ‘technically’ femme/masc. part of fitting into gender roles is wearing mainstream and current femme/masc clothes because gender roles and their associated accepted dress are always shifting so anything that differs from that is automatically subversive.

billowy shirts. undo them as much as you’re comfortable with. somewhat obvious but the howl’s moving castle vibes are v strong. am I a femme arts student or a dashing masc pirate type? who knows. 

floral patterns feel a billion times more masc if the colours are bold. 

personally after I stopped wearing makeup I felt I lot more able to just be like huh. that’s my face. and feel kinda triumphant  in the ugly parts of it and just be unabashedly weird. and if that’s not genderfuck idk what is. same w not shaving my legs tbh. I enjoy just existing.

that said if you do like makeup, using just (just. no foundation or shit) eyeshadow or just lipstick? also a power move. 

If you go for the classic dapper style of androgynous presentation but want something closer to androgynous than just weird masc, try adding a soft girly jumper to your manly trousers and etc.

adding an emphasis to your natural waist to a masc outfit (with a belt or something) is a good way to feminise it and vice versa with emphasising a dropped waist in a femme outfit to bring attention away from your smaller natural one (again with a belt or maybe low waisted trousers)

long coats are very good I feel my most formless and inexplicable when my outer layer goes straight past my knees.

obviously all this is gonna be slightly biased to my agab/personal style/body type/etc. but yeah. there’s my tips and hopefully none of them are weirdly unachievable or equate androgyny with masculinity 

[sapphic-fem-support]

Love this. 💕

Some other androgynous styles I like:

• Not shaving underarms and wearing lacey tank tops

• Wearing makeup but contouring to appear more masculine

• Shaving the sides of your hair but growing the rest really long

• If afab, binding your chest when wearing a dress or other high-fem outfit

• Makeup for creative, not gender-related things. Put glitter and fake freckles and purple eyebrows and shit

• Super masc clothes with makeup, painted nails, and fem jewelry

• Huge cloaks. Can’t see my gender under my fucking cloak

[wistful-pigeon]

I’m a cis girl but some of these are Really Great Looks so this is just More Style Aesthetics for me to consider cuz while I am comfortable with my gender I love to mess around with gender presentation cuz gender roles who is that

[wistful-pigeon]

Okay so this is a cisgender gal’s input so I hope it’s actually helpful and not annoying but I do have some Androgynous Aesthetics/tips that work for nb folk as well as working as a general H*ck Off, Gender Roles style for anyone

Androgynous Makeup tips-

Adding on to OP’s mentioned No Foundation/Concealer combined with Lipstick And/Or Eyeshadow/Eyeliner/etc Type Makeup-

‘Bare face but with bright eyeshadow and wicked winged eyeliner’ or ‘Only Makeup On Being Literally Any Color Lipstick" is a hella great Gender-Yeet style

If you do makeup regularly, def recommend replacing foundation/concealer in your nomal makeup routine with a basic skincare routine instead.

Literally whether or not you wear makeup? Find a gentle face wash + moisturizer (doesn’t have to be expensive just needs to be ok to your skin), and just like, every morning 1. Wash your face every morning, 2. Apply moisturizer.

(Your skin will thank you and Skincare W/O Foundation/Concealer helps with that Confusing Those Around You As To Whether You Even Have A “Gender”)

Androgynous Fashion Aesthetics-

Huge masc coat, masc pants, hella fem shirt+heals? Ultimate combination of Genderless Blob with a touch of fem if you’re into that

Literally any sort of Pirate Aesthetics- tall boots with billowy trousers tucked in? Yes. Shirt with extreme Poof Sleeves? Yes. Sword? That too.

Neutral-colored, generally Loose+Masc “I Am An Undiscernable Blob” clothes but with Super Bright Colored thing added in like purple lipstick or neon-pink fingerless gloves

Fingerless gloves in general

“Technically This Could Be Pajamas but Swag” outfit

Big! Clunky! Boots! Bonus if they have soles that are like 1-2 inch platform so you can tower above your enemies

Masc style clothes but in Glaringly Bright Colors

[genderfluid-shitposts]

These are all awesome tips! If I may add some more-

Masc pants and shoes but with a cropped top (works well with binding also)

Masc formalwear but with stilletos, platform shoes etc

I absolutely adore pastel colours, so like masculine shapes but in baby pink

This could also work with wearing fem shapes in darker, “masculine” colours

The typical teenage boy layered hoodie thing (tshirt on top of a hoodie) but fem colours

Cute backpacks

Skorts! Confuse the hell out of gender

My all time favourite and personal trademark, winged eyeliner with no other makeup

[natelove]

I’ve been struggling with looking androgynous, especially with my hair long still, so this is so useful!!! I’ll add a few on

Flannels and other plaid button up shirts

Bow ties and suspenders, especially with a fem shirt

BIG OLD HOODIES

boys jeans. They fit female bodies just fine and have hella pockets which is a bonus

Have one fem and one masc piece of clothing, but have them match (color, pattern, etc.)

Heels but In dark colors or masc designs if you can find any

Cut your hair if you can, but no pixie cut. Make it floofy and floppy.

Fake glasses, especially those black squarish ones with the little bits of silver on the sides, or round ones

No makeup, or just concealer

Jeans with heels (? I haven’t tried this one yet but I want to)

If you carry a purse or mini backpack, get one in masculine designs or colors

[reimisgf-deactivated20201130]

I’ll probably just repeat stuff but I couldn’t not contribute!! Here are some confidence-boosting looks I thought of:

Tank tops w/ binders (show off ur flat chest. Confuse ppl.)  

Big stupid t shirts (extra points if it’s got a super masc-stereotypical design on it) with, like, tights

Idk if it helps but I like really layered hair. Like short but not pixie, just… different lengths. Have fun with hair.

Big button-downs. Steal one from older male, wear like flannel or buttoned up, instant masc look. Again I usually wear these with form-fitting pants.

Camo  

Hiking boots

Basketball shorts/cargo shorts. Pair this with a cutoff t-shirt or just a tank top, super comfy + pretty androgynous  

Tall socks. A lot of dudes I know don’t wear a lot of ankle socks so. If this helps.

Got this tip from an enby friend- deodorant! A lot of deodorants marketed towards women have a pretty distinct flowery/powdery smell while men’s usually focus on earthy scents (like old spice). Wearing deodorant meant for the opposite gender is a quick and fun way to confuse ppl

This was mentioned before but pants!! Loose jeans/pants are super comfy + pockets!! Legs can reveal gender so wearing loose pants makes me feel a lot more confident

I love wearing feminine things + binders

[alltheshatteredpieces]

We Exist

To the guy on the bus, ranting about how he’d like to beat up “all those fags”;

I was frozen in the seat in front of you, listening to you tell your friend about how people like me deserve to be physically attacked.

To the girls in the hallway, worrying about lesbians in the locker rooms;

The girl near you had a lesbian pin on her backpack. Her face was tight and her knuckles white as she ran past you, up the stairs.

To the “friend” who told me I’ll meet my fairytale prince;

You still don’t get it. You say you just “don’t understand it,” but you don’t want to either. You want me to be like you.

To the guy who told my (gay) friend he’d fix them;

They only talked to you because you were harassing another obviously uncomfortable girl. Two out of the three girls you hit on were gay. You insisted they just hadn’t had you.

To the tumblr user who insisted a-specs are not parts of the LGBT+ community;

Immediately your post was reblogged with a thousand people talking about how proud they were to include us. You just said they were delusional. It still hurt.

To the straight girls who want a gay best friend but are terrified of lesbians;

You don’t seem to understand what you’re saying. You don’t seem to notice the faces of the closeted people around you. Why are you so afraid?

To the LGBT+ people who don’t believe in non-gay/lesbians;

We exist. We are here. And just because you are too doesn’t mean you get to decide what is and isn’t.

To the people who insist on calling others by their “real” names and pronouns;

“Birth” does not mean “real.” “Legal” does not mean “real.” Identity means real.

To the “friend” who told me I shouldn’t “make such a big deal” about being gay;

I am here, and I am proud. I am not sorry if my identity and expression of it offends you. I will not hide who I am because you don’t want to see.

To the adults saying I’m too young to be political;

My existence is political. The majority of people believe that I don’t exist, or that I shouldn’t. When politics affect the very basic human rights of me and people like and unlike me, it’s not my choice to be political anymore. You get to choose because you aren’t affected.

For everyone who knows exactly what I’m talking about;

You are valid. You exist. You can be proud. You are not wrong. You are not sinful. Do not let your voice be drowned.

[thruces]

me before endgame vs me after endgame

[what-even-is-thiss]

I need to rant.

The thing about being aromantic, asexual, or on the spectrums that a lot of people don’t seem to get is that compulsory sexuality exists.

Not just compulsory heterosexuality. Compulsory sexuality. Period. The idea that every person on the planet feels some kind of sexual and romantic attraction.

I grew up watching media, same as all of you, and how are people that are interested in purely sexual relationships depicted? As cold people. As cheaters. Usually it’s a straight man looking to use women. His character development almost always includes settling down. And people that don’t experience sexual attraction? Characters like Data from Star Trek or Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Androids and characters coded as having a very specific type of autism. And even they have sexuality forced upon them by the writers at least once. With Data it happens in the second episode.

And then we try to explain this to people. Why we hurt ourselves and put ourselves in dangerous and uncomfortable situations trying to fix ourselves. Make ourselves feel sexual and/or romantic attraction. We bring up the bullying we endured. The things our therapists tried to fix about us. We talk about our trauma related to compulsory sexuality and you all just don’t hear us.

I’m so tired of it. I’ve been fighting the fight to be seen since I was fourteen! I’ve given talks in GSAs. I’ve written essays to educate. I’ve comforted other asexual people on the internet and irl. I’ve scraped and grabbed for community. I’ve done my very best to fight to be seen. I’ve healed from the trauma I put myself through in trying to fix myself. I’ve realized that I don’t need to be fixed. I’ve been as goddamned involved as an asexual person can be with the resources we have. I may be young but I have been fighting longer than most and I am so protective of the people just realizing that they’re aro or ace or demi or anything else. No matter how much older or younger they are than me.

And then some people on the internet decide that they get to undo everything I and so many other asexual and aromantic people have done. They get to decide that their trauma is more real than mine. They get to push me and my brothers and sisters and siblings out the door because they don’t see invisibility as oppression. They’ve held up their little sign that says “must be this oppressed to enter” and then held it up higher so that we didn’t fit.

Some of them told me “oh you can come in because you tick these boxes but that other box doesn’t count”

No. That box definitely counts. That box is just as much a part of me as any of the others and it is the one I have fought for the longest. Our community won’t be made invisible again. Invisibility is crushing. It is suffocating. Abuse and hatred of all kinds thrive in silence.

I feel alone sometimes. Like I am the only soldier holding a banner in front of a stone wall. But I am not alone, and you aren’t either. I’m tired of being casual. I’m tired of being seen as a rarity. A novelty. An android. A nuisance. I am none of these things. I, like every other arospec or aspec person, am a friend of dragons. Something that was hidden for so long, protecting itself and what it loves, but has the ability to be loud, dangerous, firey.

Asexual and aromantic people have been polite. Quiet. Because that’s what we feel we have to be. We can’t protest by kissing someone in front of a picket line. What can we do then? Talk. Write. Wear our colors. If we have to keep being polite and quiet about it, fine. That’s how we do. But let’s not be invisible. I will continue to let everyone that knows me understand under no uncertain terms that I am asexual. I will point to our aromantic siblings, sisters, brothers. I will tell you to look at them. Look at us. We exist. We are wonderful. We belong. In queer spaces, in the media, in the public eye.

If you are aro or ace people will tell you that they don’t care. They will ask why they need to know. But being yourself is a radical act. I know it is. We are often polite in this community. We don’t rally. We don’t look to change the world. We don’t depict ourselves as radical or challenging the establishment, but we are. We are. We have been from the moment we realized we exist. Our history is small. We are creating the early stages of it as we speak, but it is still rich. It is still beautiful. Even if we are spread out, I love this community so deeply. So completely. I probably won’t ever be a leader in this community or any other one. That’s not where my talents lie. But I will continue to push for us to be seen. I will write literature for us. I will talk. I will be as visible as someone like me can be. I will fight to make the words ace and aro and demi and grey just as well known as gay, ace, lesbian, bi, trans.

And there are so many of us out there doing the same. We are not alone. We have never been alone. And these people trying to make us alone won’t succeed. I know this. I feel it in my gut.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

[alltheshatteredpieces]

We Exist

To the guy on the bus, ranting about how he’d like to beat up “all those fags”;

I was frozen in the seat in front of you, listening to you tell your friend about how people like me deserve to be physically attacked.

To the girls in the hallway, worrying about lesbians in the locker rooms;

The girl near you had a lesbian pin on her backpack. Her face was tight and her knuckles white as she ran past you, up the stairs.

To the “friend” who told me I’ll meet my fairytale prince;

You still don’t get it. You say you just “don’t understand it,” but you don’t want to either. You want me to be like you.

To the guy who told my (gay) friend he’d fix them;

They only talked to you because you were harassing another obviously uncomfortable girl. Two out of the three girls you hit on were gay. You insisted they just hadn’t had you.

To the tumblr user who insisted a-specs are not parts of the LGBT+ community;

Immediately your post was reblogged with a thousand people talking about how proud they were to include us. You just said they were delusional. It still hurt.

To the straight girls who want a gay best friend but are terrified of lesbians;

You don’t seem to understand what you’re saying. You don’t seem to notice the faces of the closeted people around you. Why are you so afraid?

To the LGBT+ people who don’t believe in non-gay/lesbians;

We exist. We are here. And just because you are too doesn’t mean you get to decide what is and isn’t.

To the people who insist on calling others by their “real” names and pronouns;

“Birth” does not mean “real.” “Legal” does not mean “real.” Identity means real.

To the “friend” who told me I shouldn’t “make such a big deal” about being gay;

I am here, and I am proud. I am not sorry if my identity and expression of it offends you. I will not hide who I am because you don’t want to see.

To the adults saying I’m too young to be political;

My existence is political. The majority of people believe that I don’t exist, or that I shouldn’t. When politics affect the very basic human rights of me and people like and unlike me, it’s not my choice to be political anymore. You get to choose because you aren’t affected.

For everyone who knows exactly what I’m talking about;

You are valid. You exist. You can be proud. You are not wrong. You are not sinful. Do not let your voice be drowned.

[alltheshatteredpieces]

We Exist

To the guy on the bus, ranting about how he’d like to beat up “all those fags”;

I was frozen in the seat in front of you, listening to you tell your friend about how people like me deserve to be physically attacked.

To the girls in the hallway, worrying about lesbians in the locker rooms;

The girl near you had a lesbian pin on her backpack. Her face was tight and her knuckles white as she ran past you, up the stairs.

To the “friend” who told me I’ll meet my fairytale prince;

You still don’t get it. You say you just “don’t understand it,” but you don’t want to either. You want me to be like you.

To the guy who told my (gay) friend he’d fix them;

They only talked to you because you were harassing another obviously uncomfortable girl. Two out of the three girls you hit on were gay. You insisted they just hadn’t had you.

To the tumblr user who insisted a-specs are not parts of the LGBT+ community;

Immediately your post was reblogged with a thousand people talking about how proud they were to include us. You just said they were delusional. It still hurt.

To the straight girls who want a gay best friend but are terrified of lesbians;

You don’t seem to understand what you’re saying. You don’t seem to notice the faces of the closeted people around you. Why are you so afraid?

To the LGBT+ people who don’t believe in non-gay/lesbians;

We exist. We are here. And just because you are too doesn’t mean you get to decide what is and isn’t.

To the people who insist on calling others by their “real” names and pronouns;

“Birth” does not mean “real.” “Legal” does not mean “real.” Identity means real.

To the “friend” who told me I shouldn’t “make such a big deal” about being gay;

I am here, and I am proud. I am not sorry if my identity and expression of it offends you. I will not hide who I am because you don’t want to see.

To the adults saying I’m too young to be political;

My existence is political. The majority of people believe that I don’t exist, or that I shouldn’t. When politics affect the very basic human rights of me and people like and unlike me, it’s not my choice to be political anymore. You get to choose because you aren’t affected.

For everyone who knows exactly what I’m talking about;

You are valid. You exist. You can be proud. You are not wrong. You are not sinful. Do not let your voice be drowned.

[deamortis66]

IM LAUGHING SO HARD I DIDNT THINK SEXUAL DESIRE WAS A REAL THING LIKE I ALWAYS SAW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANTED SEX BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING OR EXAGGERATING OR SOMETHING THATS WHY IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO REALIZE I WAS ACE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WENT WITHOUT SAYING SEX ISNT THAT IMPORTANT IM 19 YEARS OLD I CANT STOP LAUGHING LITERALLY 99% OF THE POPULATION EXPERIENCES SEXUAL DESIRE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

[knightarcana]

This is pretty much the definition of being an ace person, tbh, and I’m so glad.

[old-songs]

#I thought it was an exaggeration for literal years (via sonickitty)

this is literally the #that sounds fake but okay meme im dying

[overlycaffeinateddreamer]

#ME#I THOUGHT SEXUAL ATTRACTION WAS RARE#AKA#HOW TO FIND OUT YOU’RE DEMI (via @miseryauthoress)

[kyogre-blue]

Honestly, every single cheating plotline never made sense because “but why do you have to have sex with them? just don’t??”

[skidar]

^^^^ Every single cheating plot line ever I was like: What is so hard about keeping your pants on what is your problem??

[callie-quite-contrary]

…do you have any idea how hard it is to do literary criticism that will get published when your reaction to at least 75% of character motivations is this makes no sense whatsoever why do they even care? 

[sazandorable]

When people ask you why you don’t date someone just to try, and when you answer that well you’re not interested in that person, they explain that usually you don’t like the person at first, but you might fall in love after having dated a little while

and you’re just?????? but what?????????? is the point of dating someone if you don’t like them?????????????? 

what do you mean the point is making out and sex????????? why would i want to do that with someone i don’t already like?????????

[trashbandikyut-deactivated20181]

I have literally experienced all of these.

[unpretty]

when i saw the headline ‘golf digest helps free man from prison’ i thought it was gonna be, like

“he’s clearly in the background of this golf photo! that proves he wasn’t at the crime scene!!”

as opposed to, like

“this guy in prison sent us his cool golf fanart but we didn’t want to promo a serial killer, so we looked into his case and thought it looked pretty flimsy and probably racially motivated”

(here’s the first article from 2012 and the followup)

[applesdotexe]

what im saying is that bisexuals, pansexual, and asexuals should all join together so we can be in the fictitious trifecta. enough people will say we’re not real and we’ll all converge together in a massive, fierce mass only spoken of in myth.  dont come near us or you too will cease to exist

[cassidysgothboyfriend]

[aroluna-archive-blog-blog]

can we include aromantics?

[diggly]

triforce of fabulousness

[new-ace-on-the-block]

There we go, a shield to protect against the negativity

[yourblueberrymajesty]

@phaedruus THIS AHHH 💖💖💖

[biskitsstuff]

Come my brethren! OUR FABULOUSNESS SHALL PROTECT US!!!!! LOVE THIS!!!!💖💖💖

[redvelevet]

an aro/arospec psa

[mosbyarchives-blog]

shoutout to all my followers who don’t hate me yet

[normal-horoscopes]

I WANT MORE OVERGROWN RUINS TO EXPLORE AND IF I HAVE TO MAKE THEM MYSELF THEN SO BE IT

[transmortifried]

*throws cress seeds at an abandoned warehouse* be the change you want to see in the world

[gayfeatherfiend]

Alright guys! Listen up! Its story time..

Does anyone wanna know why my user name is the-bluebonnet-bandit? No? Well I’m going to tell you anyway.

Its because a long time ago back in highschool my home town was slowly begining to be re-developed. A field I had loved as a kid moving in became a series of storage units. So basically, under the presumption of the myth that bluebonnets are illegal to pick in Texas, I decided the best way for me to handle this was to go out and buy a pack of bluebonnet seeds to basically chuck ‘em at the field in question. It takes time for a peice of land to be purchased and for a structure to take place, so if I planted some bluebonnet seeds in the field in early October, by next season there would be a whole field of them right? And then they couldn’t build there, hazzah!

Except its not as easy as it sounds. And now as an ecology major with a focus in plants, I know that. See, many empty fields in the suburbs are filled with agressive and non-native plants that would make it hard to establish something like a bluebonmet in just one season. I would need to remove those plants in a certain desired area around my square of bluebonnets then make sure each seed survives to flower. And then ideally I’d want to keep expanding my target patch, or establish a different patch the next year at a key place on the field.

Even if not illegal, destroying a field of our state flower, or a beautiful field of wildflowers is a harder sell to the public. It creates more dialogue. Draws more attention. And if you pair this with, say, a grassroots community campaign to spare the land in question you definately have more of a chance of achieving your group’s goal if it looks like the backdrop to someone’s family photo. Plus, planting wildflowers, helps the community and wildlife.

I’m not saying go out and chuck seeds at stuff until you re-claim your space and use gardening and tree planting (tree graffiti, or tree-fiti if you will…) as counter meaaures for over-development and urban sprawl.

But I’m not-NOT saying that…

*When to plant bluebonnet seeds

*How to plant a wildflower meadow

*US Wildflower planting guide

*Best trees to plant for your area

*How to make seed bombs

*Using community gardens to feed the hungry

*How to make a community garden

*How to conduct a petition drive

* Change.org - starting an online petition

*Find your townhall meetings

*Register to vote

[adaswordlace]

https://twitter.com/CriminelleLaw/status/1037511306906099712

Reminds me of my mom getting remarried several years ago, for about a weekend - dude waited until after the wedding to tell her he expected her at waiting at home with dinner waiting when he finished work.

I dunno, like I get that this version of manhood is “normal” but goddamn is it the most brittle, contemptable fuckin thing

[unified-multiversal-theory]

This is NOT these women’s fault in any way - these men hide their misogyny until they think you’re hooked. They know what they are doing.

[kittiesatemypronouns]

These women are wise and brave. I admire them so much!

[geekandmisandry]

Not even touching the fact that he thinks teachers and nurses are lesser…he wants her to be less so that he can be more.

[gabriellabowden]

my brief was to “Ask someone for instructions in what to do and then obey them” and i think i did pretty well! i asked my friend “what should i do for this assignment?” and she said the above quote and then i had to make a record of it!!

[notbeingconstructive]

now THAT’s arty.

[aleshakills]

I love that shit

[depression-healthy-carrier]

Yeah I’m sad and depressed but at least I’m not racist or homophobic

[thebibliosphere]

Doing my first live session with my online therapist and their opening line was “so why don’t we talk about your medical issues so I can better understand what you’re going through” like ah, we’re uh, we’re just going straight to Pandora’s Box, huh?

Right. Cool.

[thebibliosphere]

The last hour, a summary:

(Noise warning: loud screaming)

[thebibliosphere]

So it was a productive session of me talking to her about why I cannot do xyz as treatment options for medical reasons and why I’m reluctant to take xyz medications (cause once you do shitty doctors just look at you and go ah yes, crazy cakes, gotcha faker) and after listening to me talk for an hour about how I’ve been treated by medical people her hot take was, “Lordy no wonder you’re stressed! Okay, fuck my next suggestion, we’re skipping straight to the next one. How do you feel about art therapy as a means of expressing entirely valid rage?”

And honestly, what a mood.

[rosered3-deactivated20240912]

Hi, maybe weird question but what company is this or service? My therapist is retiring and I’ve been with her for 16 years and finding ppl who actually help is hard as fuck but you probably know this well too and it just sounds like you have a really good one that really seems to wanna help and I’d love to find another therapist like that.

Also ONLINE?! What rock have I been living under that sounds amazing!

[thebibliosphere]

The service I am trying out is provided by BetterHelp.com where you can pay privately to talk to licensed therapists and social workers online, multiple times a week or just at scheduled times if you’d prefer. You fill out a questionnaire, and then they try to pair you with someone suitable for your needs. You can trial someone out, and if you don’t quite click with them you can move on to someone else.

I picked them primarily because they have therapists who understand chronic health issues, and even though the person I was assigned to was not a specialist in this, she was very knowledgeable about basic things like treatment for chronic pain and open to learning more in a very receptive manner. She also didn’t use ableist language which is more than can be said for a lot of my actual doctors.

Also for those who need it, “non-binary” is offered as a gender option off the bat. (Which doesn’t directly affect me, but it was still encouraging to see other than “other” or having no option at all.) And when I clicked “bisexual” on the form it immediately told me “we have a dedicated site for lgbt issues, would you like to be directed there?” and a couple of other filters to help narrow down the search for someone who might be a good fit, which was also reassuring because I wanted to avoid anyone religious who might turn round and tell me to pray the pain away, which has happened a few times before and no thank you. Done with that.

This was just my first session with them, but so far it seems to be good? Like the person listened to me, we addressed several topics, and I was left with several resources and goals to aim for by next week. It was also actively encouraged to use the email system almost like a journal so the therapist can see what my thought process is like during spirals so we can talk about it in planned sessions, which can either be a live IM chat, emails, phone call or video conferencing, all of which can be done on their website, or the app they have for both android or ios. If you are going through a thing and would like to talk to someone sooner you can also mark the email as “urgent” which will push it through to your therapist as such. (They also ask for your emergency details in case they think you are in crisis or at risk of hurting yourself, so while they are not a crisis facility, they have measures in place in case they are talking to someone who seems at immediate risk.)

I elected to try an “unlimited” plan for one month which means I can talk to my person multiple times a week if I want to, which worked out at $260 for the entire month at no extra cost for extra sessions, which is roughly what a single hour session of therapy per week would cost me at an in person clinic.

They also offer financial aid, for anyone who needs it. So that’s good too.

So. Yea. Still early days, but so far I’m encouraged by it.

[skwerlly-squirrel]

They can’t prescribe meds, can they?

[thebibliosphere]

Nope, it’s a talking/typing service only.