AllysonThePoet

Welcome all to my little corner of the Tumblr blogosphere, please make yourself at home, take off your shoes, eat some good snacks, cuddle under a nice warm blanket, and reblog the poetry that I work so hard on.

[allysonthepoet]

Insecurity

All of this time scrutinizing worrying about years to come  I mourn every minute I wasted  I didn't feel worthy of love it took many years to admit it my beliefs were rooted in fear I couldn't find myself when looking I'm not sure that I was really there

[allysonthepoet]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

I think I may be old now

[thorntwist]

[allysonthepoet]

Scheria

These waves crash hard into me like I am a greater force to conquer than the very shore it swore to forever be enemies with

The storm rolls in, a cavalry of raindrops assault my skin, and I just sit there and take it

What power do I know?

Your current pulled me in and it was your charm that held me under

Maybe drowning would finally bring this battle to an end, the white flag did nothing for me anyhow

But what mercy does nature know? Living must inevitably meet dying

The ocean rises to any occasion it gets to swallow prey whole I was caught in the crossfire of a battle centuries older than myself I was a sacrifice for someone else's temporary greater good I only realized it too late

I am no Odysseus, I lie with the bones of the giants who overtook me I stare into the evil eye of the storm with no such luxury as a sword to fight against what is to come

Courage is unkind, but it is my sharpest of knives And with it the wild tides finally retreat

[taylorswift]

All’s fair in love and poetry… New album THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. Out April 19 🤍

store.taylorswift.com

📷: Beth Garrabrant

[allysonthepoet]

I do not love myself yet

Who would I see if I could muster the courage to stare at my own face?

My thoughts are all consuming

I go to sleep peacefully indulgent in the future when I can sharpen the dull peak of my nose and fill the deep unfashionable valleys that hold my eyes.

Future self acceptance is contingent upon the fact that I will never get to live in the future, only chase it's tail until I keel over from exhaustion.

[allysonthepoet]

Cosmonaut 2023

We talked for hours on the phone that night. I was lost in a dream, spouting on madly about "our hopes", "our aspirations", our respective futures, she asked me why I couldn't just stay here with her, in the now. I responded that the now was never worth living in for me.

What a privilege to believe that it is. I am so driven, that I succeed in driving away all that threatens to block my path.

My head towers above all I know in these cold clouds. Hindsight is but a figment here. For miles above me only sky to the mortal eye, but when the light hits it in such a way, it's as if the saturation drips onto the atmosphere in shades of gold, royal purples, screaming oranges, and bloody reds. What stories one can interpret from just the pigments of this painting, none of romance or companionship. After all, Helios is the sole driver of that gilded chariot.

I wonder what he feels when he drags the heavy sun across the horizons, if he for a moment, feels resentment toward his duty or if he is enraptured with the feeling of being at the top of the parabola, the brief moment when one becomes cognizant of the stomach-sinking indulgent adrenaline shot into your veins precursory to free-fall, when time itself has to run to catch up. Some may call it release.

So why would anyone ever want to exist on the ground, when they can soar with the stars? Because they are scared of confronting themselves? I don't fear loneliness, floating aimlessly in the infinity of the cosmos.

What else am I supposed to do up here? Absent of choice I am just a product of all that has become of me and that is what is absolutely terrifying to think about. I am too stubborn to see my misery as self-imposed. In fact, I am proud of how far I have come, no one else has made it where I have, no that doesn't make me better, but it sets me apart. I am so distant that I don't even get to be present in memory.

She may try to tie a tether to me, she may give me a reason to look back down onto Earth, but that was never made for me and don't I owe it to myself to keep searching for where I belong? Maybe some people are made for endless Sisyphean searching.

[allysonthepoet]

Cody

I keep trying to hide my truths behind the rhythms of these words,

to act as if I didn't almost cry drunk to your name in Cambridge

I sink into my thoughts at times and I let your presence weigh me down, but no matter how many steps away from you I take,

I am always looking behind my shoulder to see how far you are

this love binds a tether from your heart to mine, you always saw it as a noose

So yes, I mourned you again in Massachusetts

you took it too far and I hold on to threads of nothing

two years have gone by and all I can think about is how you can breathe knowing that you stole all my air

how you can still smile when you saw me cry

how you can move on, but keep me on your line

[allysonthepoet]

Prey

I tell myself all the ways I could've done better

I left my neck exposed and you were a hungry predator

I smile at you, you bare your teeth

I walk on different streets, you love basking in your misery

You guilt-trip me down to your level, and I sink.

I give you love, you shoot it back to me

I am starting to think the only way for me to win is to lose you

[allysonthepoet]

Zillennial Hindsight

I empathize with my generation, we came crashing into this world and then the world came crashing down around us.

I know of no method to plant hope back into ungrounded minds, perhaps it was never there to begin with.

That is not for me to say, but I do recall a time not so long ago when I would ride my bike up and down school hill place thinking that if I could just pedal fast enough, I could fly.

[allysonthepoet]

Drowning by Suffocation

You were like a wave, the hardest thing to ever hit me with the audacity to try and pull me back in. Those blue eyes stare at me and suddenly I sink down beyond the surface of myself, introspection kills, but love drowns and asks for no help. The thing about panic, when it sets in, is no matter how many breaths you take, you can never seem to get enough air.

[allysonthepoet]

Et tu, Brute?

Did you ever once, think twice

When you danced around my mind? Was it worth every discordant nerve you struck?

I've got to hand it to you, I didn't think you had it in you

I thought you were no bite, all talk

Do you feel the bruises of your love now?

I do

I think wounds have the tendency to bleed more when you don't anticipate them.

[allysonthepoet]

[allysonthepoet]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 250 likes!

[allysonthepoet]

A Misanthropic Savior

I feel the absence of the decisive force within myself to guide all my acts of consequence and circumstance. Oh, do I recall a time not too long ago wherein my flesh was no different from that of my creator; when wine spilled communion from two drunken lips across one table. No longer exists the trinity of you, I, and we. One cannot provide faith in a divinity they never believed in. Was I a disciple or a satellite? Such is a lonely feeling when idols fall.

[allysonthepoet]

Surviving a Nuclear Winter

As if I haven't viewed your face from every harsh angle of the camera lens.

You act as though I've never endured the sorrows of a solitary winter when in fact you are what turned me cold

Now my fingers alternate various shades of blue and purple, but I walk through this tundra of a wasteland, each step allowing more of my body to sink down into the snow

I look at you and for one second I think my heart may warm, but that's how you win

and the more and more I repeat my journey, the less your presence makes my own feel all the more meaningful

The bombs went off, can you tell me what is left of us to even save?

You have your legacy in pictures, but I scratch out your face in all of my memories, every last one.

Tell me how many words of whispers you were worth? Give me an answer because I want to scream "NONE"

[allysonthepoet]

Lying with the Bones of Giants

I owed it to myself to try for a long time, but self-destruction kisses me with poison lips and I am wine drunk off of this feeling, like for once I am the Giant. I get the sweetest end, only those graced with character may lie with our bones. You may call me a Goliath, but you still will say my name for generations. I may have fallen from the clouds, but it is my beanstalk you climbed to push me from all the way up there.

One day my very name will be too large for the room you speak down to me in. Soon, my feet will come to step on you in the name of karma, because though every story rules in favor of the underdog, the universe ultimately has a way of righting itself in the end.

Though I become larger than life to spite you, I still somehow retire over ways for you to kill me from the inside, David, Jack, Odysseus, whomever you are, you may bring me down, but I live on by forever being attached to your story.