tell them I said something

instead they see a 29 year old healthy woman trying her best

[worst-roommates-ever]

[hiveswap]

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

[2percentsugar]

does anyone else remember being a hapless american child looking at the prices of books on the inside flap and wondering. do we just hate canadians? this book is $8 here and $13 there, that feels..... mean somehow

[vin-di-kate-or-deactivated20211]

[beemovieerotica]

[originalcrime]

dead wife who was MEAN and slept without a TOP SHEET and only went to the beach when it was OVERCAST to SCOWL at the waves

[potato-dragons]

[almostinhalf]

If you want my other forms of contact DM me my dudes

[sufficientlylargen]

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

[tommyeatseaton-blog]

okay but what’s updog ?

[jaiwithanadult]

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

[yumantimatter]

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

[defectivealtruist]

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

[ghostpalmtechnique]

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

[argumate]

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

[regexkind]

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

[another-normal-anomaly]

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

[yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined]

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

[identicaltomyself]

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

[speakertoyesterday]

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

[mistbornthefinal]

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

[yumantimatter]

What’s a henway?

[eversolewd-deactivated20250517]

Oh, about 5 pounds.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

thomas the tank engine, aka the only monster no. one wants to fuck

[thomasthetankenginefuckers]

that’s where you’re wrong

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

you made this blog just now and i feel responsible for the evil it represents

[caffeinatedclowns]

thomas the spank engine

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

i think humanity in the middle ages was onto something when they allowed only priests to be literate

[snoopingasusualisee]

My man George Homework Bush decided to Nut the last minute of November and ended up crumbling into gray dust once he came

[dolleyeresponse]

i hate this website i just want to obtain information in a normal ass way again

[sitcomlesbian]

[lonelyroommp3]

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

[lonelyroommp3]

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

[oxfordcommaforever]

Pro tip from a native: no one is paying attention to you, or what you’re doing, with three exceptions:

1) You are walking slowly

2) You are shitting on the floor of the subway

3) you are mugging us

[cheaphalloweencostume]

are you REALLY a tumblr user if you don’t see a post on your dash filled with misinformation presented in a hostile manner like youre the idiot for not knowing these 100% bullshit lies at least once a day and have to physically restrain yourself from starting shit with the OP

[symbiote-spideypool]

peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

[sensei-wrong-deactivated2018121]

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.

[brendaonao3]

Pretty sure I’ve read this comic

[qualitydoggo]

@wishem please omg just a quick doodle or something even

[wishem]

I am sorry Cable looks like that

[mistermustachio]

Don’t you dare apologize for perfection.

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

oh yeah my primary social media app is the one that got banned from multiple app stores for having child porn on it. the bone incident? sorry, you’ll have to be more specific, i’m aware of at least three instances of people posting about handling human remains.

[poiregourmande]

me: you’ve already used this exact turn of phrase two paragraphs ago, that’s too repetitive

me, an intellectual: if I use it three more times it becomes a motif