yoinks

I miss ace :(

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[midnightella-mass]

thinking of OUAT again but specifically thinking about how interesting the magic system in OUAT was and how bc it was an ABC drama it was never actually explored to its full potential

like the idea that the first ever incarnation of Any Magic resulted from Merlin drinking from the Holy Grail, and it just so happened to be light magic bc Merlin was a fundamentally good person. And that’s all that there was! for hundreds of years! And then dark magic was literally created because Merlin’s lover craved immortality and vengeance and betrayed him for it! And how light magic spread throughout their world naturally but dark magic was confined to one person! And how light magic is something inherent that you’re born with the ability to do while dark magic has to be consciously learned!

Not to even mention the fairies and their magic system and their seeming dependence on fairy dust (which is a mineral found underground, not something natural to them!) Or to mention the mermaids and their varying levels of civilization and humanity (the mermaids in neverland appear to be more mystical and inhuman, while the fairytale mermaids such as Ursula and Ariel seem to be very close to human)

Or the portal system, and how nearly all of the realms except for our own are seemingly connected and easily traversable by multiple means. Magic beans operate on willpower and wishes but only work once, while the hat doesn’t really need to do anything at all except grow but seems to operate on a finite loop of power. And how the sea apparently connects every realm (including our own) but the sky only leads to neverland. Not to mention that storms carrying portals aren’t all that uncommon, and it seems that any average object (e.g. the silver slippers) can become a portal if it’s imbedded with enough magic.

Or how magic literally changes a person’s appearance. In the case of dark magic it often makes you green or scaly or more animal looking, while with light magic it can freeze you in time entirely, keeping you young forever.

And don’t even get me started on how the different types of magic are used. How dark magic is more refined because it’s a practiced art where certain spells achieve certain things, while because light magic is an inherent skill it’s often a shapeless, aimless blast of energy. How even with training light magic appears to be more limited than dark magic, despite the fact that it’s more powerful.

And ripping out hearts??? That the staple move of dark magic was literally to take someone’s heart from them and either control it or crush it??? That the embodiment of evil was literally just someone else holding your heart in their hands, and you have no clue what they plan to do with it??

And then on the opposite side of it there was true love’s kiss?? That the most powerful, pure type of magic was sharing a heart instead of taking one?? That displays of love were literally the most powerful things to exist??

Basically I wish they would have locked in on the magic system bc I was SO cool.

[i-am-a-fish]

I want everyone to have universal basic income please

[papasmoke]

How committed are you to embarrassing yourself online?

im ready to die for this

[dragon-in-a-fez]

thinking about this elevator again

[anarchistmemedistro]

[sluttyhawaiishirt]

WRONG

PIPEBOMB

[transcyberism]

sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

[transcyberism]

the kink bloggers found this post and are putting horny stuff in my notifications but I'm not even mad. the sluts are in the notes of the slut positivity post. all is as it should be.

[pukicho]

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

[beanssssssssss56]

So the vehicle version of you?

[pukicho]

I am not as big

[internaleggplant]

Bro is petite

[pukicho]

I am not 4 tons

[fruitcakebro]

Bro is tiny.

[pukicho]

I am just not 4 tons

[mosspapi]

It should be illegal to have a bus stop without a bench I am 1000% serious rn

[lastoneout]

AND A SHELTER!!!

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[stratfender]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[i-am-a-fish]

there is nothing badass about not taking an ibuprofen when you need it

[peachybeesplease]

rating the ways my family members have referred to me to other people since coming out as nonbinary

my secondborn (my parents)

7/10

sounds vaguely historical but in the way that I'm going to be sent off to war to prevent a succession crisis

potentially confusing to the listener bc the average conversation has little relation to birth order

my sister's, [name] (my aunt)

9/10

direct and to the point!

still very clear about what our family relationship is. I think we can do away with many nouns if this is any indication

my young adult child (my mom)

4/10

it's giving "20 year old minor"

I promise you can just say my kid. it's ok I don't mind strangers thinking I'm like 5 bc that would make me a prodigy for doing stuff like my laundry and dishes in one day and honestly I could use that kind of support

my liberated one (my grandma)

10/10 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

completely unclear what my relationship actually is to her. her personal oracle perhaps?

made immensely funnier by her immediately following it up with referring to my brother as her grandson.

[taxed-up-trotter]

like a moth to a flame another artist gets dragged into witch hat atelier

[platonbatonn]

soul eater posca zine #2 collection, batch 4

[bedupolker]

Soul Eater fanart to celebrate October

[kurooangel]

❥ kuroo tetsuro is thee husband

kuroo tetsuro, the perfect and persuasive businessman. kuroo tetsuro, jva’s golden boy. but you don’t know that guy, you rather be with tetsu.

he’s objectively perfect, indeed. the pipe under the sink is leaking? don’t worry, don’t call anyone. he will fix it in ten minutes — looking extremely hot, by the way. you’re late to a place? it’s okay, he’s always ready to take you anywhere.

but when his friends from high school come over to your house, most of them volleyball players, he’ll show off about how he kept his form despite not becoming professional and being in his early thirties. smirk on, eyebrow arched and an smug bickering with bokuto that makes iwaizumi huff and want to throw someone through the window.

“don’t know how you put up with him. you’re quite normal” he would say while glaring at the pair — who right now are showing off their biceps and daring each other to play in your backyard. you chuckle and take a sip of your beer, “love makes you do unnormal things, i guess”

“babe, that was so cheesy” kuroo snorts smugly, and you smirk back, holding back a laugh. “you married me anyway” you shrug, and atsumu miya cheers your beer with his protein shake. bokuto gasps and tetsuro clicks his tongue, walking towards you, “and i’ll let you know that i’d do it again. mouthy woman” he huffs and shakes his head, amused. wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close before whispering loudly enough for everyone to hear, “you’re feeling my arm now, say i’m stronger than bo’, c’mon”

“that’s not fair! call a referee” kotaro points at him, and kuroo just stretches you against him, playfully. his biceps defines at his grip and you sigh, yet lean against his broad chest.

oh, he’s not some higher up in the jva, not some scary man in a suit. he’s just a dork, and yours, truly.

[cvnt4him]

ugh, dramatic boys ruin my life.

Kuroo walking up to you with a fake pout on his face as he scoots close to you. You side eyed him and scoot away from him only for him to scoot closer never once taking his gaze off of you. You let out a small grumble scooting the littlest bit that you could before you were on the edge, he doubles down and scoots closer game sniffling at you. You shut your eyes with a groan thinking you can just ignore him.

“oh? so my spouse doesn't love me anymore?! oh- I am hurt.”

“ were not married kuroo.”

“ OH- SO YOU DON'T WANNA GET MARRIED NOW. OKAY.”

“ literally what are you going on about.”

He stands up with a shocked expression on his face and begins yapping about how much work he does and how he makes sure you come home to a clean house; regardless of that being a lie you can't help but to snicker.

“ ...are- are you seriously laughing right now...i....I just can't with you....”

He continues to faux sob going on and on you try to contain your laughter the best you could, you could tell this wouldn't end if you did laugh at him so you decided to push.

“ fine kuroo, what's wrong with you.”

He takes a deep breath in, wiping away the tears he never shed and sighed finally calming down and walking back towards you to sit next to you again. He grabs your hands and honestly makes you worry that this might he serious.

“ are you interested in me?”

You burst out laughing nearly falling over. Kuroo just sits there with his mouth agape as you hiccup and gasp for air as real tears fall down your cheeks.

“ are you seriously laughing at me.”

Kuroo just scoffs as he watches you die of laughter with a smile on face. He just shakes his head at your laughter and smiles fondly.