Safe place we need

A girl after/before/during therapy sharing stuff she finds helpful in her recovery process.

[aloness2579]

Okay, so everyone is asleep and I do not want to bother them with my bs, but I have been through a several hours long panic attack and I still cannot stop overthinking my life. I feel the urge to write it all to anyone, no one has to read it, answer it or care about it. I just need to get it out because I really do not want to do sth stupid.

So I had a side gig yesterday, I did it with my friend. It was proposition from her workplace and she was the one having direct contact with coordinators. They did not give us much information anyway.

She got an e-mail with our tasks for the day, one of which was being a mascot. She got it only 2 days before the event, when we already signed a contract according to which our only task was "to help with the event". During the 4 hours we worked, she was the only one to wear the costume (for about 1,5h).

We did together EVERYTHING ELSE from the list. Firstly, I planned to get into costume after her but then we had a big queue for temporary tattoos. There was no time for it.

And today, for the first time, coordinator calls me. She didn't contact me in any way until that, she did not know me, and she started with being disappointed bc I didn't do this ONE THING so she doesn't know if she's gonna pay me AT ALL.

Important side notes:

👉🏼 my only contact was through my friend

👉🏼 I had no idea that this ONE task was the most important

👉🏼 at no point my friend told me to switch

👉🏼 nobody cared before or during the event and I was sure everything is alright; we had like 4 other things to do and everything got done

I am okay with paying my friend more or sth, but this kind of call was awful and unnecessary, and I start to believe they just want to cut their costs and I am the easiest target 'cause I am not their full-time employee.

And, the worst of it, my friend sided with them. Oh, forgot to mention, she slept and ate at my house before and after work plus got transport from/to train station, from/to two stores and from/to the event. We know each other for 4 years, she got invited to my wedding in September and it is not the first time I helped her like this, but it was the first when I was supposed to get paid.

Kinda feel betrayed bc I would never NOT back up a friend.

Soooo,

I feel like I am not worth anything, I am worried sick that it is totally my fault because I misinterpreted STH and I have one more unpleasant thing to do in already packed month.

I hate myself as well and I am still not sure. Maybe I am in the wrong and it was the most important thing, and it was obvious, and I am just too stupid and lazy to notice. But at the same time, I have never had any problem with any of my previous jobs, rather the opposite, and I cannot comprehend what happened.

Next week I am going to preliminary autism spectrum disorder assessment because I do not know what to try anymore. Depression, anxiety, cptsd, EDs, adaptation difficulties, shyness, BPD... I do not know what is wrong with me and I am very close to decide that I am simply fucked up, lazy and not trying hard enough. I am definitely going crazy for the last... Omg, almost 11 hours 😭

And I am stuck until morning with doing anything. Therefore, I write. Please, don't be too harsh on me, I know that my friend did one more task than me, still this is not an adequate behaviour on the corporate side, and just sad on the friend side.

Have a nice Pride and rest of your life ✨

[orisnitsa]

[thetragicallynerdy]

[ID: the Bugs Bunny in a tux meme, edited to say “I wish all LGBT+ folk who live in countries where pride is banned, illegal, or unwelcomed a very I love you, stay safe, Happy Pride (red, orange, yellow, green, blue heart emoji). The edited text is in all caps, with LGBT+ in rainbow lettering. End ID.]

[chibird]

It's easy to listen to certain emotions that might be louder. But it's good to be mindful and reflect on which emotions we actually want to drive our lives and decisions. Let's give those emotions a voice! 💖

Chibird store | Patreon | Instagram

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

no one is coming to save yo- wrong!! everyone who has ever shown you love and/or care is saving you a little bit.

[thesweetiepienovels]

Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.

[yorgen-sh]

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

[chungledown-bimothy]

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

[nojglisrenaissance]

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude

[cecil-speaks]

reblog to tell a teenager that these aren’t actually the best years of your life and that things can and will get better when you have independance and maybe are away from your situation right now.

Its me reblog to tell me that

[sevastiel]

Same thing with young adults. It can still get better. Your thirties aren’t when you’re getting old, that’s 70s-80s and we all know old people can be cool as hell anyway.

It might take time. More than has already passed, but it will get better.

It gets better. It does, right? Yeah. Yeah it gets better.

[memeuplift]

[aloness2579]

Being in your own head as a mentally ill person during therapy is weird.

Even if you do not hear voices, you constantly battles yourself. Beacause how not to when there is an ill you and a healthy you.

It is weird to know you are being delusional and your cognitive functions are malfunctioning and at the same time to be inside all of it.

Being aware but being terrified this is never going to get better. Maybe it is going to get worse.

For me, taking care of myself includes preparing for those moments. Because they are just moments. Preparing albums and notes with nice memories, having basic to do lists and being ready to make changes. Having a plan on the fridge - what steps to take when it gets too bad. Having emergency contacts listed. Sometimes i write letters to myself.

And I am trying to live the way I want to when those moments pass. Cause they always pass eventually.

[aloness2579]

2025 - I am 23 years old

I am still diagnosed with depression and anxiety. First diagnosis took place when I was 17. 6 years have passed. Like whole elementary school.

During that time I had 3 different romantic relationships: the last one is going strong after 3 years together. We are planning our wedding next autumn.

I had been abu$ed in every way possible - I've learnt how to get out of this kinds of relationships (romantic or not).

I have met many many people, with some of them I keep in touch, with most I do not. I have a few horrendously strong frienships I am grateful for. I struggle with not living in the same town though and I am missing face-to-face contact a lot.

I held like 6 different temporary jobs and now I am working at the 7th one - this time I am staying for as long as I can :) I finally enjoy my job.

I studied engineering and then changed my major to psychology (and in different city). Great decision. I am halfway to graduating, I planned and organised my own workshop on emotional regulation and this is totally what I wanna do as my profession.

I have done 4 different therapies, now I am doing my 5th one. There is A LOT to get through plus I gain a lot of experience for future; for being the therapist not the patient.

My passions have shifted a lot as well. I had physical health issues (still have some) which made me exercise less and be less in shape than I used to be. I often have interruptions in my training routine because of my sickness and it sucks. I am trying to accept that and have fun regardless of my results.

I had to give up on learning foreign languages bc of lack of time, energy and finances.

I have been to 4 funerals.

I have been working on my relationship with food and body image. Working hard.

Sometimes I am suspecting I might be autistic but diagnosis is way out of my budget plus it might be just one of my intrusive thoughts.

I struggle to live sometimes. But not most of the time. Which is f+cking beautiful.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

If you’ve survived your suicidal thoughts/suicide attempts, I am proud of you. If you’ve made a milestone in being clean, I am proud you. If you’ve relapsed, I’m still proud of you. If you’re still struggling this very moment with your mental health, I am still so proud of you.

[cannibalchicken]

[turtlesandfrogs]

Listen to me: You get good at things by being bad at them. You learn by failing. You gain competency and a sense of mastery by failing at something many times and in many interesting ways.

The sooner you are able to laugh at your own failures, to enjoy the process of messing up, the easier life will be. Because you'll no longer be afraid of learning.

And once you're no longer afraid of failing, you can learn anything.

[moonwaterandrain]

i wish it were as easy as it sounds

[turtlesandfrogs]

And that's the thing of it, isn't it? Failing and accepting a failure is itself a skill.

And it can be very hard to learn, especially if you come from a family where a failure is a sign that you are a failure instead of a sign that you are learning.

You're going to fail at failing well. There are going to be times when it hurts, times when your brain is telling you that you should just give up and you'll never get it. Times when a failure is going to frustrate you to no end.

And you can still learn to fail well. You can learn to see it as a sign that you're learning, you can learn to give a little chuckle and say to yourself, well, everyone screws up sometimes, I'm just learning.

It is not easy, but it is important.

[moonlit-positivity]

[enii]

Everyday, my best looks different💕

[depsidase]

[just-your-average-cryptid]

If the job needs doing, the people doing it deserve to live well.

"But minimum wage fast-food jobs are for teenagers! They don't need $20/hour!" Ok. So you're only going to get fast food after 2/3 pm, when those teens are out of school, and not before 6/7 pm, so they can go home and eat at the bare minimum? You don't mind if they're closed on the weekends so they have free time for studying, homework, and relaxing? No? You don't like that? Then pay the ADULTS doing those jobs enough to live.

"But janitors-!" Without them you would be swimming in filth within days, don't even start. Have trouble keeping your house or just the bathroom clean? Scale that up to a whole building, and after you've processed that, pay them.

"But-!" Do you benefit from them doing that job? Would you be inconvenienced if that job disappeared? THEN PAY THEM WELL FOR IT AND BE GRATEFUL ITS NOT YOU

[defiantsuggestions]

The work isn't worth less just because a teenager is doing it. Aside from that, teenagers should also be paid a living wage, because, you know, teenagers also deserve to live and not all of them have access to a safe place to stay.

"Teenagers don't need $20 an hour!" A lot of them do. Start thinking of them as people and stop looking down on them.

[theriseofthesea]

Just a reminder that you’re doing a better job of handling things than you think you are. Life is hard. You’re doing fantastic. I’m very proud of you. 💕

[its-all-down-hill]