I kill giants @alraunl - Tumblr Blog

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

segamascott

crabussy

Is it sick and twisted to want to have a chocolate bar?

you are a member of one of the only mammal species capable of safely metabolising the compounds in chocolate without risking death. it's more twisted to NOT want to have a chocolate bar. take advantage of your biology. devour that thang. (suddenly too serious about it) it's your right as a sapien

pumpkan

Me: waiting for any form of public transport

Rain: starts

Some deep dark part of my brain that never forgot the first night vale episode: 👀🕐🚌🌧🌧🕐🕐🚌🌧

straycatj

ちゃいろネズミつれてかれた…

ちくしょーですよ…

She takes my brown mouse… It’s just goddamn

when u have the correct number of cinderblocks in ur enclosure

crimsonender

You know that "every bat fits on this chart" meme post?

I'd like to humbly put this forward.

odddogs

Odd Dog. 1,065 likes. Come si evince dal mio nome sono un cane strano, strampalato, frutto di una malformazione genetica d

HIS NAME IS LITERALLY ODD DOG HE'S MY HERO

dsmsix

naamahdarling

"In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." -- Brennan Lee Mulligan, D20, Fantasy High

defilerwyrm

iamthatbeast

This is harking back to an outdated and obsolete idea of science that was held up until the mid-20th century: the idea that the scientist/observer was separate from what they observed. They were uninvolved, only dispassionately watching and recording what happened as if they were not there. Scientific papers even used phrases like "It was observed" as if nobody was observing it, when someone very much was. It was Einstein who blew that apart with relativity, by recognizing that the observer is always part of the equation. What is seen is affected by who is seeing it and how. There is no "outside" for the observer to be. You are there, you are watching, you are part of the scene.

So the idea that there can never be involvement is bullshit.

sailermoon

james baldwin was so right when he said “the children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”

The Panama Canal

my dead wife. the ad free internet

fairycosmos

watching dreamily recorded footage of a web forum from 2003

#REAL

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I kill giants