Sanders Sides Starters pt. 1
❛ believe it or not I was quite the nerd in school. ❜
❛ greeting wonderful citizens! and you nerds. ❜
❛ the important thing to keep in mind is that nobody is perfect. everyone comes with their own flaws. ❜
❛ are we bringing up your flaws now ? because if so get ready to take a lot of notes. ❜
❛ you procrastinate a lot, you can be a bit selfish with your food and your other belongings, you’re definitely not the most adventurous person – ❜
❛ nope! nope we are not talking about fears. I’m well aware of those. ❜
❛ wow. that was a surprisingly deep and poignant question. ❜
❛ where do babies come from ? I know it’s got something to do with storks. ❜
❛ do you know how often you say you can’t cook ? lot’s of times. do you know how often you try to learn how to cook ? zero times ! ❜
❛ which we all know is referred to as adultery ! ❜
❛ you’re a real pizza work. ❜
❛ ta ta ! I wish you the best of luck in your adultery ! ❜
❛ oh I’m sorry was I not wanted at this exact second ? ❜
❛ what are you doing different ? what are you doing wrong ? what are you forgetting to do ? ❜
❛ sorry kid but this is what I do. ❜
❛ he’s severely lacking in the knowledge department. ❜
❛ I hear what you’re saying and I do care about that, but here’s the thing: I don’t really care about that. ❜
❛ oh good ! my anxiety ! right on time. ❜
❛ all these thought and emotions in complete turmoil ? how could I not show up to this party ? ❜
❛ get over it. you’re the least popular character and you know it. ❜
❛ curse you for making me laugh ! ❜
❛ uhg. I do not like you. ❜
❛ give it up. resolutions are nothing more than empty promises to yourself. ❜
❛ you sicken me. you can’t always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems ! ❜
❛ you besmirch the name of disney ? this time you have gone too far ! ❜
❛ really ? this is where you draw the line ? ❜
❛ he was a very busy prince ! he had a lot on his mind ! ❜
❛ it’s totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out the window when they’ve already broken into your house. ❜
❛ don’t sign a contract without having your mer-lawyer look over all the fine print and stipulations. ❜
❛ I just wanna support you in everything you do ! ❜
❛ clickbait works (name) ! ❜
❛ I kept disney channel stars from starving ! ❜
❛ I almost died on a disney channel set ! ❜
❛ talk about the food ! ❜
❛ dad jokes, they work every time. ❜
❛ can you like, stop, for once in your life ? ❜
❛ I know your limits, that’s all I was saying. ❜
❛ what issue ? you’re totally fine. ❜
❛ he literally has dreams that are delusional and highly unrealistic. ❜
❛ WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE !? ❜
❛ bigger house means more dogs ! ❜
❛ I learned so much today ! ❜
❛ roses are red, violets are blue … sunflowers are yellow, tulips come in all sorts of colors, so do roses – I really like flowers – daffodils are also yellow. ❜
❛ I know big words too ! … saaaxaphone – ❜
❛ I’ve got an idea ! don’t. don’t even try. ❜
❛ that’s not how people work. ❜
❛ I would like to speak from the heart, but hearts don’t have mouths. ❜
( laughing ) ❛ well, I’m hopelessly crushed. ❜
❛ you find out what might be making their life difficult … and you kill it. ❜
❛ weddings are nothing but outdated, expensive pageantry. ❜
❛ plus the diamond industry is incredibly unethical. ❜
❛ stop. you’re upsetting him. ❜
❛ I am feeling all types of bad. ❜
❛ I wasn’t trying to help. ❜
❛ what are you laughing at Hot Topic ? ❜
❛ you’re implying that you love us ! ❜
❛ I gotta go bury that dragon witch body. ❜
❛ home maintenance is not a joke. ❜
❛ I’m a textbook procrastinator. ❜
❛ didn’t take you for the dress up type. ❜
❛ NO YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH US. ❜
❛ did you actually look in a mirror when you put that on ? ❜
❛ it can’t be a bad video if you never make one. ❜
❛ when in doubt, remember that everything we do is all pointless anyways. ❜
❛ bleak, but I appreciate you trying to contribute. ❜
❛ elementary my dear … daddy. ❜
❛ who gave him a knife !? ❜
❛ (name) and I are playing dress up, (name) is making us question our existence and I found a dollar ! ❜
❛ ha ! I like that nickname and I’m gonna use it now. ❜
❛ how could you do it ? I trusted you. ❜
( sighs ) ❛ feelings, the bane of my existence. ❜
❛ is it because I have a dollar and you don’t ? ❜
❛ I am the cause of this, but I’m also the solution – to a problem I have caused and will inevitably resolve. ❜
❛ am I in a paradoxical loop where I endlessly generate a problem and try to solve it like a snake devouring its own tail in order to satiate its hunger !? ❜
❛ that was dark even for me. ❜
❛ shush and make a face of agreement like everyone else. ❜
❛ you … never want me to stick around … ❜
❛ get me out of here please. I need to leave. ❜
❛ bippity boppity boo-yah ! ❜
❛ that’s one of those outbursts that we internalize. ❜
❛ I know you intended to hurt my feelings, but I AM JUST SO DARN PROUD OF YOU THAT YOU MADE A DAD JOKE ! ❜
❛ I also still maintain my MySpace page. it’ll bounce back. ❜
❛ I usually go and sit on a surface that isn’t meant to be sat on because when tomorrow comes I will be faced with even more challenges and I am too overwhelmed to be worrying about what ‘is’ and ‘is not’ a chair. ❜
❛ I basically just listen to The Campfire Song Song from Spongebob on repeat. ❜
❛ well that was thoroughly and utterly disappointing. ❜
❛ you know what ? I am done ! I am done here. I am done with all of you. ❜
❛ he misused the word infinitesimal last week ! ❜