Woo. @altairjones - Tumblr Blog

oak23

epic shelf by Melenka

couture-constellation

ziad nakad | couture spring ‘16

highfashionpakistan

Elan’s piece for Swarovski Sparkling Couture Exhibition.

kirrys

the million dollar question!

saikoxix

My Hein

Pygmaliondoll Kyle

apolonisaphrodisia

Silly

xfreischutz

have faith in yourself

#fucking bae #<3

milkpeu

Between You and Me (by Mahalarp Teeradechyothin)

balljointedheart-deactivated201

10 things about Vincent by jessy20713 on Flickr.

blondiepoison

I really care about this character — she’s like my best friend, my other half. I worry for Sansa because she’s a real person to me. I’m constantly saying to David and Dan [Benioff and Weiss, the show’s creators], ‘What’s going to happen to her? You have to tell me!’ I almost think about her more than I do myself. It’s like a split personality. Sometimes I slip into her by mistake. - Sophie Turner by Dima Hohlov for The EDIT Magazine / NET-A-PORTER.com (May 2016)

#she's so beautiful

creedthoughtsdotcom

SS16 by Valentino

hajime-isayama-official

Does Levi have any kinks/fetishes?

Having a living squad

roane72

The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family/career/kids. Like, y’all are always so shocked that grown women have lives and can fangirl as hard as we did as teenagers.

It makes me sad not because it makes me feel old (although it does), but because these younger women are constricting their own lives–they fully expect that this will happen to them someday. Y’all deserve better. Y’all deserve to EXPECT better.

esterbrook

And worse than that, the idea that there’s something WRONG with a grown woman who has other interests.

roane72

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

goatatemynametag

One of the biggest things I realized growing up?

It doesn’t happen.

You expect somehow you will change when you are finally An Adult ™. You’ll stop enjoying the things you enjoy now for something more “adult” or “mature”. You’ll FEEL like an adult and not like a child anymore. You’ll feel comfortable and secure and not scared and unsure and confused. You expect you will feel like you have your shit together.

But I can tell you that it doesn’t happen. You’ll still feel like the “you” you were at 15 or 17 or 19.

You just have these…things to deal with. Like rent. And insurance.

You have a job either because a) you like it or b) it keeps the lights and internet on.

You’ll look up from fangirling one day and realize ‘shit. I am twenty eight years old. That’s almost 30!’. Or maybe it will be that you look down at the small child clasped around your legs and realize ‘that is my child. I have a child. A human being child.’ Or maybe it will be that you have to negotiate your budget around con tickets AND a mortgage payment.

Growing up isn’t a thing that happens.

It’s a realization that it doesn’t happen.

roane72

Holy shit, y’all. There are some AMAZING responses to this post. Yes, everything alwayshometomarvel says. All that.

eclecticmuses

Feeling like I wasn’t ‘adult’ enough fucked me up for years. I would cry at night and feel like a total piece of shit because I was married with a kid, and yet I still did ‘not adult’ things–I played MMOs, I cosplayed and went to conventions, I drew fan art and wrote fan fic. I kept waiting for the day that I would wake up and realize that what I really needed to be doing was the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner every night, etc. Basically, be the ‘perfect’ wife and mother.

And somewhere between then and now, I somehow managed to tell myself…fuck it. I AM an adult. I go to work every day and pay the bills and help raise my son and take care of the house. I do legit adult things. AND I play MMOs, go to conventions, and participate in fandom. And THAT’S OKAY. I’m 32 years old now and finally at peace with that part of myself. (Having a supportive husband and kid doesn’t hurt either!)

tariqk

@malaysianfeminist

madamethursday

All of this is such truth. Believing these things about growing up, and especially about being over 25? Really made it hard for me when I turned 30.

I was literally suicidal on my 30th birthday. I spent the whole day in tears. I felt like I had died and my life was now worthless and small and never going to be hopeful or full of promise or fun again. I felt like killing myself on my birthday because I bought into this lie that somewhere after your mid-twenties, you diminish as a woman because the only thing that made you alive and shiny was your youth.

I’m 31 one and I’m done with that shit. I’m over it. I don’t care if you think I’m too old for something. If I’m an old lady in tumblr terms, then I’m past the legal age where I’m obligated to care what you think.

So, I’m telling you girls out there right now who are in your teens and twenties, get rid of this idea of what older women are “supposed” to look like. Get rid of this idea that “soccer moms” don’t play video games or that all women over 25 should be married and contemplating kids. Get rid of the idea that fanfic and fandom and fun things are for “kids”.

Mostly, get rid of this notion that the only thing really valuable about you is your youth. Youth is part of life, but it’s not the most valuable or beautiful or exciting time of your life. I like my life at 30 about 1000% than I did at 15, 18, 20, even 25.

roane72

I’m glad you’re still here.

dynastylnoire

Grownblr approves this message

thefandomdropout

I adore this post 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

brendaonao3

Jesus, all of this. Fandom life and fandom fun and PASSION for things doesn’t end at 25 or 30 or 40 or 50 - my mom still goes to as many concerts as she can (like, she goes to more live shows than I do) and is passionate about music and baseball (her chosen fandoms) at she’s 60 and a widow and a grandmother twice over. Youth isn’t your only bargaining chip and passions don’t die once you hit a certain age and it is OKAY to be an adult with adult responsibilities and also have fandom things you’re passionate about. (In fact, those are the things that make being an adult worth it. *g*)

frostyemma

So much of this is because American SOCIETY teaches women that 1) they’re pretty worthless to begin with and 2) whatever worth they might have ends at 25, maybe 30. So after 30, so far as the American majority culture is concerned, a woman might as well be dead. Or if she’s not dead, she’d better be focused on babies and housekeeping and fashion magazines, and nothing else.

The idea that women have ANY interests at all, past family and marriage, is just fucking MIND BLOWING to many. The idea that women might be interested in the same fannish things they were always interested in? Absurd.

twistedingenue

At work the other day, one of our visitors asked for out names and favorite hobby. All of the men had time-intensive hobbies and could easily name them. The women (besides the two of us without kids) all looked panicked and then mumbled something like “I like to read, maybe?” These women are awesome women. I know they have hobbies and things that they enjoy outside of raising their children, but you could see the sort of weird pressure there was to not admit that they wanted to do something other than raise their children.

roane72

Holy shit the NOTES this post has gotten. Take some time and read some of the responses if you get a chance. They’re AMAZING.

prettyarb

I felt it too, that terror when I was getting close to 30 and felt like…I dunno, like my life was about to be over, I guess. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction till I got there. I thought I had a hold of the whole nonsense about women and youth and beauty. I got it, right? I’m more than a face.

But what happened was that I got there and I panicked because I suddenly realized I had no idea: what do women over 30 actually DO, besides have families? Like, what are my options, and how to I proceed after the ones I like?

My online spaces helped me so much then, because there were all these cool older ladies I knew there. I could look at what they were doing with themselves, that they were still chasing their hobbies, making career moves, taking kooky vacations with friends, being delightful idiots online. I knew could do that, and it’d be fine. I’d be fine.

But now I’m here on the high side of 30 and realizing all the things about being an older woman that await me. Stuff that nobody EVER talks about. Man, if you think periods are a no-go in polite society, bring up menopause sometime. What do any of us ever hear about in terms of what changes are normal for an older woman vs. what we should hit up a doctor or something about? How many examples do society give us about how an older woman continues maintaining a rich, fulfilling social life? Pretty much nada. Only other women who’ve been there can tell me. Why the fuck don’t we talk to them? They’re the people who hold the secret to our future.

I thank god for fandom and social media, because it’s what has put me in touch with women I can dish about this stuff with.

lux-obscura

And this isn’t (in my experience) something you struggle with once you hit a watershed year and then put behind you. At least once a week I have a minor meltdown over night being an adult, or not being the right kind of adult, or being headed for spinsterhood, or never getting laid again or never falling in love, all because I’m single, over thirty and childless. The frequency with which those fears are reinforced by society and the media is just terrifying to me, and some days it’s all I can do to shake it off.

But here’s the truth I’ve found for myself in all this: I’m the only adult in this house, so I get to define what that means. Being an adult isn’t some measure of success or worth or ability. Literally all that it means is that I am of legal age to participate fulling in society and government within the bounds of all the laws on the books here in this country, and I’m held responsible if I break any of those laws. That’s literally it, for me.

So inside of that framework I get to build a life for myself and I can fill it with whatever brings me joy, whether that’s knitting or writing or watching YouTube Let’s Plays or playing video games or reading comics or travelling.

I mean look, I gripe about adulting as much as the next person because really, there’s not a lot of joy to be found in paying the bills, scrubbing the floors or negotiating Target on the Saturday before the Superbowl. But all those chore-tasks that we call “adulting” are really only a small part of what it means to be an adult. You, as the main adult in charge of your life, get to fill all those other spaces with things that bring you joy, peace or a really good head rush.

Venues like tumblr are instrumental in connecting with other women and sharing a kind of casual camaraderie because really, society as a whole has done us so wrong here that I feel like no one really knows how to navigate this, but we’re all here together sharing vacation photos and UFyH progress and cinnamon bun recipes and risque selfies and straight up porn and saying, “Hey, I don’t know man but have you tried this? It’s pretty cool.”

feytaline-loves-deactivated2018

SO MUCH TRUTH

Kids here have *literally* tried to bully me using my age. It’s kind of hilarious. Oh, no, I survived THREE DECADES, I’ve clawed my way to a stable adult life, I have fought through HELL to finally love myself, but I should be ashamed to have fandom interests because I’m too ‘old’??!

Lol naw get the fuck outta here with your ageist bullshit. I’ll be out here, finally enjoying my life. I hope you’ll make it to this place someday, too, instead of loudly bragging about your youth as you silently dread your ‘expiration date.’

llamaal

I’m 28, not married, no kids, struggling to find a reliable, lasting job so I can move out of my parent’s house…and being made to CONSTANTLY feel like I’m a failure because I have not achieved any of the above “adult achievements/goals” I don’t feel like an adult, which i feel is fine, but then my parents have to crush me with guilt and compare me to my two younger, more successful siblings who each have their career going strong.

k-koji

Reblogging because I have a lot of female followers and I think this is important. Every human has the right to be themselves, to have their unique hobbies, interests, thoughts, fantasies, fandoms, etc etc.

Also bear in mind so many things are “targeted” at certain age groups because some men in suits at the top say so. Not because it’s some universal law. They think targeting groups makes the most money. And I think their WRONG to be honest.

I lived in Kyoto at the time, and FF7 was the game of my childhood ( people who know me know I’m a huge fantard of it). Let me tell you, when the 20th anniversary hit Japan, they released these FF7 special, limited edition cans of energy drinks (called Potion) at grocery stores and convenience stores. They had pictures of all the characters on them ( so shiny and sweet *-*). But you know what? I had to FIGHT, like, put on protective head gear, knee pads and go in and brave a mob of mothers, and grandmothers, and get my Sephiroth (and all my other favs) can. I think I sprained something that day (but I GOT them, dammit >:[ ). None of these women, regardless of age, forgot their beloved characters. They fought like super-soldiers for those cans and looking back, I admire them for it! I think it’s crazy to believe that a switch flips and suddenly women shut down like a robot or something and get in line, abandoning themselves for some tired, sexist stereotype ( and it really is a sexist trope when you think about it). It’s a man-made social construct that all women or men *should* be a certain thing, with certain likes,at a certain time, and all at the same time too.

It’s bullshit social constructs that makes people miserable.

Society IS ageist. Especially to women, there is no doubt about that. I just hope everyone, female and male can continue to be brave and attempt to defy these very narrow definitions of what we’re *all* supposed to be.

makoheadrush

I find myself struggling with this ‘act your age’ bullshit a lot lately, because I’m a few months away from hitting one of those milestone birthdays that shouldn’t bother me - and on the surface it doesn’t, but once in a while it does - as much as I don’t want it to, it sometimes does.

As I deal with the more depressing but inevitable parts of adulting like caring for aging parents, dealing with more and more deaths of family and friends as we all age, once in a while I take a step back from the giant stress-ball that is my life and think “wow, why don’t I get some real hobbies like people my own age, instead of fanfic and RP and w/e?”

And then I realize, a lot of the ‘people my own age’ - at least the ones in my social circles - are boring. It’s like, once you hit thirty or forty - and especially for women who have kids - it’s automatically assumed you give up the things you used to do because hey, you are a Responsible Adult now and must Set An Example.

It’s bullshit.

I had a mother who was very strict and rigid, from the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ generation/school of thought, and my dad was the complete opposite - he was a big kid himself and encouraged silliness - my dad let me be a kid. Guess which parent I favored more?

And now that I’m a parent myself, I find that I mirror my dad’s example. My kid and I play video games together and go to cons. We have fun. Yeah, I’m still a mom, I still have to be the ‘bad guy’ and discipline when necessary, but I will I’ve often found myself saying “well it’s a good thing I have a kid, at least I have an excuse to go to cons and cosplay and be a nerd….”

But. Why do I feel I need an excuse? I don’t. It’s a lie I was fed, it’s a lie many of us were fed; some bullshit social construct that dictates being an adult = boring.

I’ve been a writer forever, and I’ve been fandom-writing (starting with X-Files and Xena, lol) since the 90′s. I enjoy roleplaying and fic writing, and honestly, fandom writing has been a great stress release and creative outlet for me, and I know it’s the same for many other fandom writers and artists I know. Why should I - or anyone - feel they have to give up something they enjoy just because they’ve reached a certain age?

one-diagonal-scar

Everything about this post and its comments. Society doesn’t devalue me because of my age to the anything like the same extent as it would if I were female, but there is still that same expectation to put ‘childish’ things away and be a good little economic unit/provider/parent.

The one difference I’ve seen between being a man as opposed to a woman in your 40s and still being active in fandom is that most people assume that you are either gay or a sexual predator. Because I’m neither, I feel a great amount of pressure to keep my fandom activities hidden. Which is a great shame.