I haven't given up on Zico. I had some big changes that made it hard to write. My mom passed away and I moved. I've been trying to heal. I also had some ideas about what i wanted to do with my story, but I'm still not sure. Just know that I'm still here and the story will go on. :D
I didn't get 50,000 words in 30 days. BUT I did get 40,000 and that is a huge start for my novel. I haven't written anything this month. I'm going to wait until January. I have some ideas that are percolating.
Life is also kicking me around a bit. I take care of my Mom 24/7, and she is getting worse so it's getting harder. Maybe too hard for me. I have a lot of things I need to do, and I feel overwhelmed most of the time. It makes it hard to write. It makes it hard to do anything.
I want to start a Youtube channel and write a novel. We will see how that goes this year. Wish me luck.
I'm still going to continue Dressing Zico. I miss it, actually. Just wanted to touch base. No one reads any of this anyway so I can say whatever I want. LOL
Hope everyone had a great Holiday season! Be safe and have fun on New Year's Eve. See you next year! <3
I’m going to take a break in November from writing Dressing Zico so that I can participate in NaNoWriMo. I know that no one is reading it, and that’s okay because it was my fault for taking so long to come back to it. But I thought that I would say that I’m going to take this break just in case someone finds it and thinks that I have disappeared again. I haven’t. :D I’m going to work on a real book that I hope to have published one day. I will definitely be back to continue my adventure with Zico. If you are here, then thank you. Give Dressing Zico a look. You might like it. And if you do, you might like what I’m going to work on for NaNoWriMo. Wish me luck. :D ---AmericanNoona
When I got to the Intercontinental, I went to the desk and canceled the room. I was sure that they would contact Seung-hyun, but I would be gone before anyone could find me. I used the house phone to call a taxi, and five minutes later, I was on my way.
I had the driver stop at a 24 hour convenience shop where I bought a throw away phone. I would get a better one after I was settled. I set up the phone and then reserved a room at a different hotel. I then had the driver take me to the police station, and asked him to wait.
The officer at the desk was the same one that had helped me with the drink I had brought in.
“Did they ever catch the person that tried to poison you?” he asked.
I had almost forgotten about that drink with everything that had been going on. “Oh, uh, not yet,” I said.
“That’s a shame. You had better be careful. They said there was enough poison in that drink to kill fifty people. You have a real enemy,” he said.
Oh my gosh, I thought. It has to be Alicia. I don’t think I have any other enemies that hate me that much.
I told him that I was the person that Zico had “supposedly” kidnapped, and that it wasn’t true, and I didn’t want to press charges. I filled out a paper and they went to release him.
Zico looked as tired as I felt. I only waited around because I needed things from him. As soon as he came out, he enveloped me in a big hug. I waited until we were outside before I talked to him.
He looked at me in astonishment. “How?” he asked. “How did you get here? What happened?”
“They were going to make me stay there, but I talked Seung-hyun into letting me go,” I said.
“You are amazing!” he said. He started to hug me again, but I held up my hand and stopped him. “What? What is it? Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m far from okay. I need the key to the storage building that you put my stuff in,” I said.
He looked confused. “But…Why?”
“I need to get my purse. It has my ID and my bank card in it. I would also like to have my phone back please.”
“What did they do to you? Did they threaten you? Lie to you?” he asked.
I shook my head again. “No. They didn’t do anything to me,” I said. “Well… they took me against my will, and I’ve decided I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being controlled, and shoved around like a gamblers token from one person to another. All of you treat me like an object instead of a person. I’m not going to do it anymore. So, please, I want my phone and the key. Please don’t fight me, Zico.”
He stood there looking at me as if he had never seen me before. “You aren’t leaving Korea are you?” he asked.
“No. I just need some time to myself,” I said. I held out my hand.
I could tell that I had blindsided him. He dug around in the bag that they had put his stuff in when they arrested him. He gave me a key and my phone. He told me the name of the storage company and the number of the unit. It was also written on the key.
“Wait. Wait!” he said. “Your purse is with your clothes at the hotel.”
“Damn! Okay, I can pick it up when I drop you off,” I said. I opened the door of the taxi for him.
He wouldn’t get in, and held his hand out indicating that I should get in first so I did. When he was in the car, I told the taxi to take us to the hotel.
“Where are you going to go?” he asked.
“You don’t get to know that,” I said.
He grabbed my hand. “Please come back to the apartment. I promise that you can come and go as you please. I’ll give you a car and a driver and I won’t ask questions.”
“That’s just it, Zico. Your driver will tell you everywhere that I go. The body guards will tell you. I’ll have no privacy,” I said. “I’m not saying this is forever. I just need a few days. A week at most.”
“Oh thank God!” he whispered under his breath. “I’m sorry that we treated you that way. I just wanted to take care of you. I love you.”
“I know that. I have no doubt that they were doing the same thing, but you are all driving me crazy,” I said.
“I don’t like the thought of you out here by yourself with no protection,” he said.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “You need to email me the location and time of the shoot tomorrow.”
A small smile played on his lips. “So you’re still going to work tomorrow?”
“I figure I’d better if I actually want to still consider myself as working for you,” I said.
When we got to his hotel, he said, “Wait here and I’ll get your purse.” While he was gone, I made sure that the gps on my phone was disabled. I didn’t want any of them following me around. A few minutes later he came out with the purse and he also handed the taxi driver a stack of bills.
“You didn’t have to do that, Zico,” I said. “I could pay him.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “Where did you get money?”
I looked in my purse to make sure that everything was in it. “Seung-hyun lent me money.”
“Oh, okay. I would have thought Ji-Yong would have given it to you,” he said.
“He didn’t want me to go. I think he’s a little angry,” I said.
“Please tell me where you are going to be,” he said.
“I can’t, Zico, but I’ll be at work tomorrow. Would you like a ride to the apartment?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I’m going in here and have a long talk with Alicia.”
“Oh. Good luck,” I said. “Thank you for not giving me any trouble. I appreciate it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight,” he said. He leaned in and kissed me.
I told the driver to go ahead.
I missed him as soon as we drove away. He stood on the sidewalk and watched the car until we went around the corner.
The suite I had reserved was pricey, but I felt like pampering myself. I took a quick shower and practically dove under the Egyptian cotton sheets. They were so soft that I made bed angels with my arms and legs.
It was hard to sleep. I felt guilty. I knew it didn’t make sense, but I felt like I was letting all of them down. They were all trying to ensure my safety, but they were going about it the wrong way. I wasn’t even mad at them. Sometimes a girl just needs to take a breath.
I already knew what I was going to do. I was going to have to tell Ji-Yong that I cared for him, but that my heart belongs to Zico. Of course I was going to be with Zico. He owned me body and soul. When I thought of him, a feeling flowed through me like warm honey until the tips of my fingers tingled. His presence made me happy. Even when we were fighting. When I thought about seeing him in the morning, I felt like a schoolgirl with a crush that was giddy just to get to stare at him in the hallway before school. It was ridiculous, but there you have it.
It was around 2 AM when I finally drifted off.
7 AM comes really early when you toss and turn all night. Makeup can only go so far to cover the evidence of a late night. I had to wear the same outfit that I had worn yesterday, so I was going to have to do a little shopping before I met Zico at 9.
The sheets may have been divine at this hotel, but the continental breakfast was lacking. I chose fruit and a biscuit with butter and jam. When I turned to find a seat, a man waved me over from the corner. It was a familiar face. He sat there sipping on a cup of coffee, and looking like he had slept very well.
“Hello, Mr. Lewinsky,” I said. “How did you find me?”
He stood. “Please, have a seat,” he said.
I sat my things on the table and took the seat across from him.
He sat down and said, “I followed you as soon as you left last night. I thought you would have counted on that.”
“I feel stupid. I should have counted on that. I guess I was a little scatterbrained last night,” I said.
“Aren’t you glad that you had a guardian angel looking out for you then?” he asked. His smile was friendly and disarming.
I split the biscuit down the middle and slathered it in butter. “I should be angry, but I’m just going to have to get used to the fact that one or another of the boys is always going to be looking out for me. I suppose I should count myself lucky.”
“You are. Only celebrities and dignitaries get that kind of treatment. What is it that you do again?” he asked and took another sip of his coffee. I was surprised he could drink it. It was steaming hot.
“I dress Zico,” I said.
“Huh?” he asked in confusion.
“I’m a costumer for Zico. I choose his wardrobe for various public things. Shows, concerts, photo-shoots. Things like that. Basically anytime he’s going to be on display. In fact, I’m heading to work today. Are you planning on following me there?”
He nodded. “I am. Since you already know I’m going to be there, why don’t you just ride with me?”
“Well, I hired a driver,” I said.
“I’m sure he would appreciate the day off,” he said.
Popping the last of the biscuit in my mouth, I chewed, swallowed, and said, “Alright. It would be silly for you to follow me around.”
“It certainly would. And I would appreciate the company,” he said.
“I need to make a stop on the way,” I said.
He stood. “My chariot is at your beck and call, m’lady.”
I took a bite out of my plum. “Thank you Mr. Lewinsky. I appreciate the help.”
“Please, call me Max.”
He drove very well for someone who didn’t spend much time in Korea. We went to one of the shops that I had gone to with Zico. They remembered me, and I bought a dress, boots, and socks, which I charged to Zico’s account. The girl was very sweet and even let me change clothes in the dressing room.
I gave Max the address of the magazine shoot, and we made it there a little early. Even so, Zico was already there.
The woman at the front desk directed us through a door and down a hallway that led to a darkened room. It was set up for a simple shoot with a purple Victorian sofa on a platform with a gray wall background. I figured it was for the brand shoot, and it turned out that I was correct. It was for a new men’s cologne.
I asked one of the men where I could find Zico, and he pointed me to another door. I heard him say, “Good luck,” under his breath. Max followed me, and if I was right, he didn’t know what he was about to get himself into. I was glad he brought that gun.
I knocked and heard Zico yell, “Come in!” He sounded like he was in one of his grouchy moods. When I opened the door, he was already dressed in his suit for the brand shoot, and a nervous looking girl was working with his hair. It wasn’t Mya so I figured that the magazine insisted on using theirs.
Zico looked at me in the mirror and smiled a little before looking past me at Max. Ignoring the poor girl, he stood up and spun toward us. “Who is this?” he asked. He wasn’t just in a grouchy mood. He was in his Don’t fuck with me! mood.
“Zico, this is Max. Max…Zico,” I said.
Max held out his hand for a handshake and Zico ignored it.
“Elizabeth, that doesn’t tell me anything. Who in the HELL IS MAX?”
Max put his hand down.
“He is the bodyguard that Seung-hyun sent to follow me last night. Don’t be rude,” I said. “Why are you in such a great mood?”
He glared at Max, but he accepted my explanation and sat back down. “I didn’t get any sleep,” he said. “I fought with Alicia all night. I told her she could stay at the hotel with the rest of the staff if she wanted to, but that she was fired and I wasn’t paying for her room. I took my things and moved into the apartment.”
“Is it mean of me to be really happy about that?” I asked.
“Yes. And I am too. I’m so glad that it’s over, and I never have to see that bitch again,” he said.
Max sat in a chair against the back wall.
“Now, it’s your turn,” said Zico.
My stomach fell a little. “I know,” I said. “Mine is different though. It’s harder.”
“Why?” asked Zico.
“Because he was good to me. He took really good care of me, and it’s not right that he’s going to get hurt,” I said.
He looked at me in the mirror while the girl dabbed his face with foundation. “Elizabeth. We have discussed this. He wasn’t that good to you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Zico only saw the surface things. He didn’t see the deeper things that we had shared. They still weren’t as bone deep as the things that Zico and I had shared.
Max was looking from me to Zico. It was more like he was studying us. He was taking it all in. I was starting to notice that Max was in a very special group of people that I thought of as watchers. They noticed everything, and they could put things together very quickly.
“I’ll take care of it,” I said. “My way.”
“What does that mean?” asked Zico.
“It means that I’m going to try to let him down gently,” I said.
Zico turned in his seat. “That sounds like you are going to fuck him one last time.”
“Zico! Stop being so crude,” I said.
“You are starting to sound like Seung-hyun,” he said.
I had thought the same thing. “Well, he’s right. And no. That’s not what I meant.”
There was a sharp knock at the door. Max and I both jumped. From outside the door, a voice said, “Ready on the set, Zico.”
He stood up, and bending down close to the mirror, gave himself a quick assessment. “You do good work,” he said to the girl. “Would you consider switching employers? I would pay more.”
She looked at me nervously. “Is that a serious offer?” she asked him.
“It is,” he said. “If you are interested, come to the KOZ building on Thursday, and ask for me.”
As he walked to the door, he said to me, “You can come watch if you want.”
“I will after I get your clothes ready for the next set,” I said. I noticed a huge grin on the little makeup artist.
He stopped before opening the door and offered Max his hand. Max stood and took it. “Sorry to be so rude. If you stick around at all, you’ll see I’m a jealous bastard,” said Zico.
“Understandable,” said Max.
Zico left and the makeup girl followed.
Max came over to me and said, “Wow! That guy is high strung.”
“Tell me about it,” I said. “I have no idea how I saw past all of that to the real person. I never would have made it a week if I hadn’t.”
“You seem to have a gift for that,” he said. “It seems that people want to show you the real them. I know I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down.”
I winked at him. “That’s the secret weapon in my plan for world domination.”
He laughed. “I think it’s working! Very smart plan. Attack from the inside. So insidious.”
I lowered my head and looked up at him sinisterly. “Now that you know my plan, you have to die. You’re cute and all, but that won’t save you. A secret between two people only stays a secret if one of them is dead.”
He laughed harder. Then he got serious and said, “If you can take me, then I deserve to die.”
We both laughed.
“I better hurry and get out there,” I said. “He wasn’t kidding about being jealous.”
When I went out to watch the photo-shoot, I was surprised at how sexy a cologne ad could be. Zico lay on the purple couch in his black suit in a bright spotlight with a silver bottle of cologne balanced on his chest. His profile was amazing and unmistakable.
They did several provocative poses, and the more I watched him, the more uncomfortable I became. By the time they were done, I was tingling all over.
I went and helped him into the pastel outfit that we had chosen. He didn’t really need my help, but I loved undressing him. I was starting to sweat. I hadn’t been this turned on in a very long time.
The next set turned out to be huge blue roses everywhere. The photos were for an article that the magazine was writing about Zico. They wanted to see his soft side contrasted with his hip-hop side. I sat with Max and watched as they took hundreds of photos. Someone sat beside me, which I thought was strange, but I didn’t look at them. Then the person said, “Still a talentless hack with no sense of style I see. When are you going to learn to study new fashion?”
I looked over and it was Craig. Max had heard him too. Before I could say anything, Max said, “Excuse me!? Come again? Would you like to repeat that?”
Craig looked at me instead and said, “Don’t cry now! We wouldn’t want to upset the beasts that you came with.”
Max stood up. “If you have some kind of butt hurt problem, you need to move it somewhere else before you have another kind of problem.”
Craig feigned fear. He put his hand to his mouth, and said “Oh no! The no-talent bitch can’t fight her own fights so she has to bring brutes to gang up on the real talent.”
Now I stood up. Craig finally stood up as well, and that’s when Zico noticed him. I heard him yell, “Hey! Is that my buddy Craig?”
I saw Max move to stand beside Craig, but I hadn’t seen Zico come up behind him. He hadn’t either.
“What do you have against me, Craig?” I asked.
“You come in here from some stupid reality show and take my job. Some of us actually earned our way here through hard work and rejection,” he said.
I thought for a moment. “Fair enough,” I said. “You dress him for this shoot.”
Everyone looked at me like I was an alien. Even Zico looked around Craig’s big head.
“Really?” he said. “You’re just going to give it to me?”
“Sure. You say you can do it better. So do it,” I said.
I knew Zico was going to be mad at me, but Craig had a point. He was older than me, and he probably had a lot more experience than me. I wanted to see what he would come up with.
The photographer came over to where we were talking. “I have an idea,” he said. “Let’s do both and let the magazine choose which they prefer.”
I shrugged. “I’m okay with that if Craig is,” I said.
“I don’t have a problem with that,” he said even though I could tell he was lying.
“Okay,” said the photographer. “Let’s finish this and then we can do Craig’s bunch.”
Zico went back to work, but I knew that he had really wanted to punch Craig’s face again. He looked like a wolf with it’s hackles up. Max kind of looked the same way. I started to think that Max might be a lot like Zico.
If I was honest, I wanted to punch Craig’s face too. I almost did. It was good that I found another way to deal with it though.
Craig went off to put together his pastel outfit, and I continued to watch Zico. He seemed embarrassed about posing but he was actually a natural. He knew exactly which way to tilt his head and use his eyes to bring you in. His body was so nice that no matter how he moved, he looked sexy. Maybe I was a little biased.
“Who was that arse?” whispered Max.
“Oh, he is the magazine’s designer. He got really angry last time we were here because Zico insisted that I choose his clothes. He and Zico got into a little fight. Sort of a one sided fight,” I said.
“You mean Zico hit him and he hit the floor?” he asked.
I nodded and laughed. “How did you guess?”
“Look at that guy!” he said and laughed too. He wiped his face with his hand. He was starting to look tired. Maybe he hadn’t slept as well as he said. “Why did you let him get his way like that? He was being a total jerk!”
“Yes, he was,” I said and laid my hand on Max’s arm. “But he was right. He has more experience than me. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and I could see how it must look like an insult to him. Either that or he felt like his job was being threatened. Look at how easily Zico took their makeup artist from them. It doesn’t hurt me to let him have his way. He has pretty much reached his peak. I’m aiming higher. I have a runway show coming up, and if Seung-hyun is right, I will be making a giant leap in my career.”
I could see a small grin on Max’s face out of the corner of my eye. “These men don’t give you enough credit,” he said.
I just smiled.
Zico had finished, and I could tell as he walked toward me that he wasn’t happy.
He raised his arms, palms up, and shrugged. He said, “What in the hell, Elizabeth? Now I’m doing twice the work, and that asshole is getting away with it!”
“It was better than fighting, Zico,” I said.
He sat beside me. “No! No it wasn’t! You should have just let me hit him again! Have you ever seen the crap he chooses for the models in this magazine?”
“No,” I said.
“Here!” he said and grabbing a magazine from a side table, he threw it into my lap. “Have a look. I have to go change into some ridiculous garbage.” He got up and walked toward his dressing room. He slammed the door.
When the door closed, Max burst out laughing.
“Max!” I said. I kind of wanted to laugh too.
“Oh come on!” he said. “That was hilarious.”
“Don’t let Zico see you laughing,” I said. I started to laugh too. It was pretty funny.
I flipped through the magazine and Zico wasn’t kidding. Craig's choices were horrendous. He tried too hard to be innovative. It went too far.
Max looked over the pages I was holding and said, “Yikes!” He laughed again. “I can’t wait to see what he comes out here wearing.”
I smacked his arm playfully. “You are so mean,” I said. Looking back over the pages of the magazine, I said under my breath, “He’s going to hit Craig before we leave here and I know it.”
Max nodded.
Zico finally came out, and he was absolutely furious. I couldn’t blame him. Craig had dressed him in a bubblegum pink suit that looked like it was from an American prom in the seventies. The collar was black and sprouting out from each side were two wings that covered his shoulders and were made from iridescent feathers that looked like they had been dipped in motor oil. They shone with ever changing colors of blue, red, purple, yellow, pink, and white. He wore a crown of the same feathers. His shirt was white net and see through, and his shoes were black.
He walked to the set and gave me an angry glare and pointed at me.
“What does that mean?” asked Max.
I swallowed hard. “I think it means that I’m going to be getting a spanking some time in the near future.”
It was almost painful to watch Zico glare at Craig as the man gleefully tried to get Zico to pose in ways that he thought would best show off the big wings. Before they were done, I went to get his other outfit ready. I needed a few minutes to prepare for the storm that was coming.
I was right to prepare. The door opened in a torrent and banged off of the wall. Zico didn’t bother to unbutton the jacket. He ripped the button off and whipped it off in one movement. He then rolled it up into a ball, yanking feathers out and flinging them in all directions, and threw it into the garbage can in the corner.
“Won’t you have to pay for that?” I dared to ask.
“Fuck if I will!” he yelled. “I told that damn photographer that if they printed even one of those pictures that I was going to sue the magazine out of existence!”
He flung himself into the chair in front of the mirror and spun around, his head laid back. I went to him and laid my hand on his forehead. His face was flushed with anger. I needed to calm him down. His eyes were closed so he didn’t see me as I leaned over and kissed his upside down mouth. It was an odd feeling. Without breaking the kiss, Zico turned in the chair, pulled me into his lap, and kissed me deeper until I was bent back onto the table in front of the mirror.
He pulled away first, and breathing hard, said, “You are still in trouble.”
I smiled up at him. “I know,” I said.
He smiled too. “When are you going to move back into the apartment?”
“Soon,” I said. I would have gone that day, but I felt like he still needed to learn that I could take care of myself. Which was a joke because he had body guards following me and now he knew that Max was watching me. It was the principle of the thing. I wanted to prove a point. If I was being honest, I was just stubborn.
He kissed me again and said, “Get up and get my clothes woman!”
I begrudgingly got off of his lap and went to unzip the garment bag. “You should keep that net shirt,” I said and winked at him.
“Only if you wear it,” he said. “Just this.” I looked at him and he winked back.
I was glad to see he had calmed down. He let me unsnap and unzip his pants, but this time I knew he was wearing underwear. Barely, but they covered what needed to be covered.
“So, what’s the story with this Max person? Is he your new Kim Marco?” he asked.
I handed him the pants we had chosen. “No one will ever take Marco’s place,” I said. “I’m just waiting for him to get well enough to come back to work.”
“So this guy is temporary?” he asked.
“Yeah. He’s not actually a body guard. He’s doing a favor for Seung-hyun,” I said.
“Is he British?”
I helped him into the jacket. “I think he’s Scottish, but he grew up in England. He owns the security company that works for Seung-hyun.”
“I prefer Marco,” he said.
“Why? Because Max is good looking?” I teased.
He spun to face me. “You think he’s good looking?”
“Yeah! You aren’t blind. You know he’s hot,” I said.
He grabbed me. “Oh, now he’s hot huh?” He started to tickle me.
I giggled and tried to wiggle away from him. His arms tightened around my waist. He pulled me up close.
“Come home with me, and I’ll make you forget how hot he is,” he said.
My insides turned to jelly. I almost said yes.
“Kiss me,” I said.
He did. It didn’t help me with my quivering insides.
I wanted to say no but the closest I could come was, “I’ll think about it.”
“Think hard,” he said and kissing me again, he took my hand and ran it over the front of his pants. It seemed he was thinking hard too.
There was a sharp knock.
“Open that door and die!” yelled Zico.
There was no answer.
“Zico, you better get out there or we are going to be here all day,” I said.
“And who’s fault is that?” he asked.
“Craig’s,” I said.
Zico growled, bit my neck, and then stood me up and let me go. He swatted my bottom before he opened the door and left.
I went back out and sat with Max. He was flipping through the magazine. “Well, well, well. Zico is in a considerably better mood,” he said.
“He does seem to be doesn’t he?” I said.
He grinned and shook his head. “Wonder how long that’s going to last,” he said and flipped the page.
“Until he has to put on whatever monstrosity that Craig gives him to wear,” I said.
He laughed. Even his laugh had a British accent.
“I’ll be back,” I said. “I have to visit the little girls room.” I was going to wait and watch Zico, but it was getting past the point of no return.
I had to ask one of the men standing around where the bathroom was. I hadn’t even thought of the one in Zico’s dressing room. I found the public bathroom around a corner beside a bank of elevators. I ran in and went to the very last stall. I didn’t know why I always picked that one, but I did. Even when all of the others were empty. I could hear that at least one other person was in here with me though.
I had a shy bladder and even though I had to go really bad, it was hard to make anything happen when I knew someone else could hear me. This bathroom was especially echoy too. I heard her stall open and when she turned on the sink, I was finally able to go. I could see her stiletto heels under the door. There was a small tattoo right below her ankle that looked familiar. I had seen a tattoo like that before. It looked like a very curly N.
I finished and stood up. I waited for her to leave before going out to wash my hands, but she wasn’t going. After a very long minute, she said, “Well, come on out.”
I froze. I knew that voice. I also remembered where I had seen that tattoo. It wasn’t a curly N. It was a curly Z. I slowly opened the door, and then backed up a little when I saw her.
Alicia Wright was leaning against the sink, looking as perfect as ever, and pointing a gun at me. She had a wicked smile on her face.
“Hi there,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
I couldn’t speak. Ice cold fear ran through my veins and all I could see was the very black hole in the end of that gun. She’s going to kill me, I thought. Even if I scream, she will kill me before anyone finds me. I looked at the door. I have no way to escape. That’s it. I’m going to die here. Right here in the last stall.
“Come on out and wash your hands, sweetheart,” she said and pointed at the sink beside her with the gun.
My legs didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to get any closer to her.
“Come on now,” she said. “Don’t make me testy. Get out here and wash your hands.” Her voice was less saccharine this time.
I made myself move. I washed my hands and she handed me a wad of paper towels. I didn’t recognize my own face in the mirror. A solid pale white stranger looked back at me with pupils so wide that her eyes looked black.
“Good girl. Now, let’s get out of here before someone comes looking for you.” She waved her gun to indicate that I should go ahead of her. “We are going to walk out of the front door and get into my car as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.”
I walked in front of her, but I wasn’t sure how I was doing it. My legs felt numb. I thought I would fall at any moment.
“Don’t make a noise, look at anyone, or do anything that will make someone think we aren’t the best of friends,” she said. She came up beside me when we were outside of the bathroom and put her arm around me. The other hand jammed the gun into my side behind my arm where no one could see it.
We walked out and no one even looked at us. The door opened automatically and she gave me a little shove toward a black car that was waiting at the curb. She opened the door and I got in. She got in beside me and held the gun on me.
“Let’s go,” she said.
The car pulled into traffic, and then we were gone.
I’ve Been Living in our Breakup for Several Days Now
Zico wasn’t kidding around when he said that he was kidnapping me. There were three different guards that took shifts outside of the door, and none of them were allowed to talk to me. And they didn’t. I didn’t even get to know their names.
“But Zico, you can’t keep me locked in here forever,” I said.
“Actually, I can if I want to. I have the resources, and no one knows where you are. No one knows that I own this apartment. It’s not even leased in my name,” he said.
“Ji-Yong has got to know that I’m missing by now. He will call the police. I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said.
Zico smiled and rubbed his chin with his index finger. “I called him this morning before you woke up.”
“What did he say?” I asked. “What did YOU say?”
“He’s not very happy. I told him that I knew where you were and that you were safe. It’s the same thing that he and Seung-hyun did to me.”
I glared at him. “Not exactly! They didn’t kidnap me!”
“All of your things at your apartment are being packed up as we speak and put into storage. Except for your clothes and my work wardrobe. They are being sent to my hotel room,” he said.
I was furious! I jumped up and said, “You can’t do that!”
He stood up and put his face down into mine. “I can do anything that I want. Who’s going to stop me?”
I wasn’t intimidated. “Let me out of here, Zico!”
He smiled. It wasn’t a sweet smile or a happy smile. It was a sarcastic smile, and I wanted to smack it off of his face! “Call me Jiho from now on.”
“You aren’t Jiho!” I said.
“Call me Jiho,” he said.
“Will you let me go if I do?”
“No, but I’ll get you dessert for lunch,” he said.
I had never wanted to smack him more than I did right now. “Jiho would never treat me this way. Zico is the one with the god complex.”
“Zico IS a god,” he said.
“Zico is a little boy who is trying his best to play in the same pool as the men, and he’s drowning,” I said. I regretted every damn word that had come out of my mouth. I just wanted to hit back at him and knock him off of his high horse, but I had hit on the one spot that he felt the most insecure about. It was the lowest of blows, and I was ashamed of myself. Especially, when I saw the hurt on his face.
He turned and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door. “So no dessert then,” he said and slammed the door on his way out.
It was hours before I saw him again. It surprised me in a way, because I thought he would punish me with his absence for days. I decided not to speak to him until he let me go. It was really the only weapon that I had.
He walked in carrying a bunch of shopping bags. I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. and I tried to ignore him. Silently, I was hoping that he had brought dinner because I didn’t have lunch, and I was starving.
Why am I so hungry all of the time?
I barely turned my head to watch him as he set the table. He never looked my way. He was either very hurt or very angry. I couldn’t tell. He had never used silence against me before.
When he was done, he took the rest of the bags down the hall. I stayed right where I was. A few minutes later, he came out, turned off the t.v. and turned on the stereo. He surprised me again by coming over to me and holding out his hands.
“Come and eat,” he said. “You have to be hungry.”
I didn’t speak, but I did take his hands and let him help me to my feet. Mostly because I felt really bad about what I had said.
He pulled out the chair for me.
Is he trying to confuse me? Because it’s working.
I sat down and waited for him to get into his chair.
“I only got the things that you like to eat. I know you don’t like a lot of Korean food,” he said.
“Okay, what’s going on?” I asked. I knew I was breaking my silence, but my curiosity was greater than my anger.
He took a bite and said, “What do you mean?”
“You aren’t mad at me?” I asked.
He looked up from the food that he was practically cramming into his mouth. He stopped chewing for a second to say, “Why would I be?”
I picked up my chopsticks. “Because of what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it by the way.”
He shrugged and continued stuffing his face with food very quickly. “I know that,” he said.
“You do?” I asked.
He shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of soda. “Yeah. I know that they poisoned you against me. I don’t blame you,” he said.
I put the chopsticks back down and leaned forward. “They didn’t, Zico. They never said anything against you. In fact, Seung-hyun always had good things to say about you. If you would get to know him, I think you would like him. You both have high ideas, and I think you would agree on a lot of things.”
He laughed a little. “THAT’S never going to happen,” he said. “You better eat something before it’s gone.”
I took a few bites. It was incredible how much food he could fit into his mouth at one time.
“Will you get my phone for me from Seung-hyun’s house?” I asked.
“No.”
I took another bite. “Then will you get me another one?”
“No.”
“You mean I can’t have a phone?” I asked.
“No.”
“But, Zico! That’s not right! I need my phone!” I said. I could feel a huge pout coming on.
“No phone. No Internet,” he said. He sat back after putting his chopsticks down, and finished off his soda. “I’m not stupid.”
“I have to be here with no Internet? How do you expect me to get any work done?” I was in full pout now. My argument was weak, but I couldn’t think of another one.
“You work for me. You and I will work on my new wardrobe together,” he said.
“So in other words, supervised Internet!” I said.
He nodded. “Yep.”
“What about the fashion show I’m working on?” I asked.
He got up from the table and rubbed his belly. Eating that fast had to be bad for his digestion. “I’m going to let you participate in that show. It’s good for your career. I know that you already finished the designing part and that Seung-hyun is having them sewn up. The show isn’t until the end of November. I’ll take you to all of the little workshops that you need to go to in between now and the show. As long as none of them are at his house.”
I got up from the table. “You are treating me like a child!”
“You acted like a child! So, essentially, you are grounded. As far as groundings go, I think you have it pretty damn good!” he said.
There it was…that anger he was trying to hide.
There was nothing I could do about any of this right now so I decided not to fight. I was so tired of fighting. I would think about it on my own and come up with a plan, but for tonight, I wanted peace.
“Okay, Zico,” I said.
I could tell that my answer threw him off a little.
“Call me Jiho,” he said.
“I’ll call you Jiho when you act like Jiho,” I said.
He went to the bathroom without another word so I cleaned up the table. When he came back, he started the fireplace and sat on the couch.
“Come and sit with me,” he said. “We’ll watch a movie.”
I was still pouting, but I went over, and sat with him. He reached up to grab the t.v. remote and scooted closer to me in one move. He put subtitles on the movie for me, and then gathered the pillows into the corner of the couch. He stretched out behind me on the couch and pulled me down to lay in front of him, my head resting on his arm.
It was hard to pay attention to the movie when I was hyper aware of every move he made, every breath he took, every sound he made. Soon, he was snoring softly behind me, his breath gently blowing across my hair.
I was still upset about being held against my will, but laying here with him like this and listening to him breathe, softened my heart. I was never going to get over this man. I rolled over to face him. He was wearing a new cologne, and he smelled like heaven. I wrapped my arm and my leg around him, and laid my face flat against his chest. I could smell the detergent in his t-shirt under the smell of his cologne. He was so warm and familiar. I felt like I was at home when I was next to him.
“I love you, Jiho,” I said quietly.
“I love you too,” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head.
I froze. I had thought he was asleep. After a minute, I realized that he was asleep after all. He had replied to me in his sleep.
I unwrapped myself, and made my way off of the couch without disturbing him. My plan was to shower and go to bed without him to let him know that I was still displeased with this whole situation.
I went into the bedroom to get a nightgown from my duffel bag when I found a brand new white satin gown laying on the bed. I couldn’t believe he had bought me a new nightgown. There was also a new fuzzy pink blanket on the bed. I took the gown into the bathroom with me where I found a whole set of skincare products. There was new shampoo and conditioner, and lotions. There was also perfume. I took the lid off and sprayed it into the air. I couldn’t read the label, but it smelled extremely expensive. It smelled like a room full of flowers.
I showered and used every product he had bought. When I was done, I was softer than I had ever been. I slipped the nightgown on and sprayed myself with perfume. I felt like a wealthy woman of leisure. I wondered if he was trying to show me that he could take care of me just as well as Ji-Yong could. He didn’t understand that I already knew that.
I crawled under my new fluffy blanket and found that the lining was silk. I imagined that this must be what it felt like to fly around in the clouds. Only less wet.
The longer I laid there, the more I wished that Zico would join me. Finally, I fell asleep.
In the middle of the night, I felt movement behind me. I didn’t know when he had joined me in the bed, but I was glad that he had. I rolled over and scooted close to him so I could press myself against him. Taking advantage of his vulnerable state, I ran my hand up his back and over his shoulder blades. His skin was soft and warm. I laid my leg over his. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him.
We laid like that for a little while. Then he turned over and pulled me against his chest. He began putting tiny kisses on my temple. They moved down my cheek until they landed on my neck. He licked and nibbled at my neck and shoulder as his hand explored the silkiness of the new gown that he had bought me.
Then, he surprised me. I had expected his love making to continue, but he put his arms around my middle and nestled my back into the curve of his body and went back to sleep. It was one of the most frustrating nights I had ever spent with Zico, and that was saying something.
The sun coming through the windows woke me the next morning. Zico was gone. I walked through the house looking for him but all I found was a note.
I have some work to take care of. I don’t know what time I’ll be back. There is cereal and milk in the kitchen. If I’m not back for lunch, I’ll send some food. —Jiho
I poured some cereal, and went to watch t.v. while I ate. I am going to be bored as hell if he really keeps me here very long.
That’s when I remembered him saying something about an upstairs. I hadn’t seen any stairs here. There was a doorway in the right hand corner of the room, but I had thought that it was a utility cabinet. I finished my cereal, and went to investigate.
Through the doorway was a set of circular stairs. I climbed them to find a whole new world. I stepped into a huge open room that was much more colorfully decorated than the downstairs. There was a full bar along the back wall, which was mirrored and fully stocked with every kind of alcohol you could name. In front of that was a comfortable looking sitting area.
To the right was another giant television with a huge system of electronics on shelves to the right. Big squishy chairs surrounded it and I assumed this was considered the game room. There was also a pool table with purple felt and an air hockey table.
When I looked to the left, my breath caught in my throat. There was a pool that started inside and ran all the way to the edge of the building outside.
I think they call those infinity pools, I thought. It was terrifying.
There was also a hot tub and beyond that was a garden. It hadn’t been cared for in a while and it was the end of October so it was sad looking. I didn’t have much of a green thumb, but I could always hire someone to take care of it. I could imagine how beautiful it would be to sit up here among roses and watch the sun come up.
“Well, Elizabeth,” I said out loud to myself, “You can’t let a nice looking swimming pool like that go to waste.”
I pulled off the silk nightgown and slung it over the back of the nearest couch. Dipping my toe into the water to test the temperature left me pleasantly surprised. It was a heated pool so I sat down and slipped into the water. I had a feeling I was going to end up becoming a prune because I planned to spend a lot of time in this pool.
I don’t know how long I swam and floated around. At one point, I got out to figure out how to play music. I finally figured out the monster of an electronics system enough to make music play in the overhead speakers. On the way back to the pool, I went behind the bar to look for a bottle of water. I found one, but I also found something called Crown Royal Salted Caramel.
Hmm… This sounds delicious, I thought as I looked at the golden liquid. One shot wouldn’t hurt anything.
I poured a shot, and stuck my tongue in it to see if it really tasted like caramel. It was very sweet. I drank it. It burned, but it tasted so good.
One more should be okay.
I poured another shot, and drank it more slowly. I let the liquor swish around in my mouth. I had to have a drink of water after that, but then of course I had just one last shot. That turned out not to be the last. I had five shots in total. When I started feeling it going to my head, I stopped and put the bottle back on the shelf.
I got back into the pool. I wasn’t drunk…just delightfully tipsy. My skin was a little tingly and the warm water felt as silky as my new nightgown. I was tempted to strip off my underwear, but I got paranoid about being so out in the open. Then again, that might be super sexy, I thought. Seung-hyun has influenced me in more ways than I realized. I laughed to myself.
It was partly the alcohol talking. I floated on top of the water with my eyes closed, and tried to forget everything that was going on. I thought about Zico’s kisses instead. That didn’t last long.
“Are you dreaming of your shisha pool lover?” someone asked.
It scared me so bad that I lost my concentration and went under. I swallowed water and, came up coughing. “Zico! You scared me!”
“So were you?” he asked.
“NO! I don’t remember my shisha pool lover!” I yelled at him and swam to the ladder.
“I would have joined you, but it’s going to have to wait until I get that image out of my head,” he said and offered his hand.
I ignored it.
He went over to the wall where there was a cabinet full of towels, and brought me one.
“It was Gong Yoo by the way,” he said.
I grabbed the towel and wiped my face before wrapping it around myself. “What was Gong Yoo?” I asked.
“Your shisha pool lover,” he said.
“I thought you said you couldn’t tell from the picture who it was,” I said.
“You can’t,” he said. “I ran into Ji-Yong today. Want lunch?”
I followed him down the spiral stairs. “Really? You talked to him?” I asked. “What did he say?”
At the bottom of the stairs, Zico turned and looked at me. “You could at least pretend to be less interested,” he said. Then he looked closer. He grabbed my chin and lifted my head up so he could look closer at my eyes. “What did you drink? You smell like candy.”
I couldn’t remember the name of it. “Water,” I said.
He rolled his eyes and walked away. “Come and get some food in your stomach before you get too drunk,” he said.
I followed him like a scolded puppy to the table. He had brought pizza! There was also donuts. “What’s the celebration?” I asked.
“I know you like pizza,” he said.
I grabbed a piece and sat down, taking a huge bite.
He stood, leaning against the island, watching me as he ate his own piece of pizza. “Damn! You really do like it don’t ya?”
I gave him a “bite me” smile with squinted eyes and took another big bite. “I don’t know what it is,” I said with my mouth full. Looks like I’ve been influenced by Zico’s bad habits as well, I thought. “I have been so hungry lately.”
Zico stopped chewing and stared at me.
“What? I asked.
“You don’t think…something is wrong do you?” he asked.
I knew he was alluding to pregnancy. “I don’t think so,” I said.
“You don’t know?” he asked.
“Well, no. Things have been so crazy that I haven’t been keeping track of things. So, I’m not sure,” I said. “If I had my phone, I could check, but someone is being a bully and won’t get my phone for me.”
“I am not a bully. I have your phone. Ji-Yong gave it to me today to give to you,” he said and took a drink of his soda. I wished he would sit down.
“That’s awesome!” I said. “Can I have it?”
“No,” he said. He pulled my phone out of his pocket and turned it on.
“Zico! Let me see it!” I stood up.
“NO!” he said. “Why don’t you have a password?”
I sat back down. I knew he wouldn’t let me see it. “What’s the use? You and Ji-Yong use my phone more than I do,” I said.
He gave me the “bite me” smile back. “So, how do you check to see if you’re pregnant on here?” he asked.
“Open the app that says Flo,” I said.
He touched the phone. “Okay. It has a big red circle that says 64 days late,” he said.
“WHAT?” I yelled and dropped my pizza on the table. I got up, nearly knocking my chair over and hurried over to Zico. I grabbed the phone out of his hands, and he didn’t try to stop me. “That can’t be possible!”
I looked back through the app. August 12th? What’s today? OH NO! It’s October 15th. I don’t even feel like I’m going to start! My heart was pounding in my chest. My mind was so jangled that I handed the phone back to Zico without thinking. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch muttering, “What am I going to do? I can’t be. I can’t!” to myself.
Zico came in and sat beside me. The look in his eyes was fear. “What does that mean?” he asked.
I looked at him. My body felt numb. “It means that I’ve missed my period for two months,” I said. “And I’m starving all of the time. And I might be pregnant,” I said.
He was quiet for a minute. Then he spoke just above a whisper, “Who’s baby is it?”
I had to think. The last few times I had had sex was with him. “It’s yours,” I said.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“I’m positive,” I said.
Zico pulled out his phone and made a call. He stood up and walked away from me even though he was speaking in Korean. He didn’t talk long when he put his phone in one pocket and mine in the other. “Go get dressed,” he said. “We are going to take care of this right now.”
I jumped up, “What does that mean?”
“No! No, that’s not what I meant! I mean we are going for a test,” he said. “Hurry.”
I ran down the hall and into the walk in closet. I stopped dead. There were clothes hanging there that I had never seen before. I looked through them and they were gorgeous. I would have picked out every piece in here for myself.
“Do you like them?” asked Zico. He was leaning against the doorway with his arms akimbo watching me. “I’m not great at picking out clothes for women.”
My eyes filled with tears. “They are wonderful,” I said. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I did,” he said. “If I’m going to hold you captive, the least I can do is dress you.”
I walked over and put my arms around him. “Thank you. I love them. You picked exactly what I would have picked.”
“Good! Now, put something on. We have to go. I had to beg them to fit you in today,” he said.
“Will you pick something for me?”
He smiled. “Okaaay,” he said. He handed me a sunflower yellow top and a pair of jeans.
I put them on and they fit perfectly. “I don’t know how you did that, but maybe you should get into costuming,” I said.
“No thanks!” he said. “I’ll leave that to you nerds.”
“Hey!” I said and playfully punched him in the arm.
I always forget how scary Zico’s driving is until I’m in the car with him. I distracted myself by asking him a question that I knew he didn’t want to hear. “So, what did you and Ji-Yong talk about? Where did you see him?”
He shifted gears and said, “I was getting coffee, and he was there with some girl.”
“Some girl? What girl?” I asked.
“I didn’t know her,” he said with a hint of a smile.
“What did he say?”
He shifted again and swung around a slower car. “He came over and asked if you were okay.”
“That’s it?” I asked.
“No. I told him you were great. He wanted to know where you were. I answered by asking him about that party and why he had let you get high.”
“He didn’t LET me, Zico. I chose to do it,” I said.
“He LET you. I wouldn’t have let you. No matter what you CHOSE to do,” he said.
That’s true.
“What did he say about the party? He probably couldn’t remember either,” I said.
We stopped for a red light. “Actually, he did remember. He didn’t get as high as you did. He said he went in for a glass of water, and when he came back out, you were in the pool with Gong Yoo. He was high as fuck too apparently.”
I could remember floating.
“He said he got in the pool and fished you out. You took off your dress and he took you in the house to find something to put on you. Everyone else got in the pool. He put a robe on you and left you in a bed to sleep. Seung-hyun found you in the bed later with Gong Yoo. He took a liking to you it seems. Ji-Yong said he’s called Seung-hyun three times asking about you. He wanted your number,” said Zico.
“That’s weird,” I said.
“Seung-hyun made him leave the room and locked you in to sleep. Then he and Ji-Yong decided to go to bed too and for some reason, they thought the best place was to sleep with you.”
“He doesn’t like to sleep alone,” I said.
Zico gave me a funny look. “Then they woke up and you were gone. They didn’t remember me coming into the room, and taking you out of there. At least that’s the story he told me. It’s a much better story than I had imagined in my head so I’m going to choose to believe it.”
I put my hand on the hand that he held the gear shift with. “He wouldn’t lie,” I said.
“He gave me your phone and asked me to keep you away from Gong Yoo. He threatened me with the police if you didn’t call him,” said Zico.
“Then let me call him,” I said.
“Did you hit your head while I was gone?” he asked.
“Funny! What harm could it do? I’ll tell him I’m okay, and put his mind at ease,” I said.
Zico pulled into a parking space and turned off the car. He turned in his seat to face me. “I don’t want his mind at ease. I want him to be as crazy as I was when they kept you from me. I want them to think about why I had to rescue you from them. I’m also pretty sure that he’s either using this phone’s gps, which I disabled before I came home, or he’s put a gps chip in it. That’s why it’s not going back to the apartment with us. I shouldn’t have taken it before. I’m pretty sure he’s just using the phone’s gps though.”
“I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said.
“Let him call the cops,” he said. “They can’t prove anything. And if they do find you, are you going to have me arrested?”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
“Then don’t worry bout it,” he said and smiled at me. “Now, let’s go in and see how much trouble we are in.”
He held my hand, chewed his thumbnail, and bounced his knee as we waited to see the doctor. When they called my name, he stood up to go with me.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“I’m going in too,” he said.
“You don’t need to,” I said. “I’ll be okay.”
He put his hand on my lower back and said, “I won’t.”
They gave him funny looks when he went in the back, but in the usual Zico fashion, he ignored them.
I went through all of the usual tests and a sonogram. My tummy was all tied up in knots. Zico didn’t speak. He sat to the side and chewed his thumb. I was surprised that he had a thumbnail left when the doctor finally came in.
He opened the file and laid it on the table next to me to read it. “Well, I don’t know if this is good news for you or bad, but you aren’t pregnant. You do have a pretty bad cyst on one of your ovaries, however. Have you been going through a stressful time lately?” He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at me.
“Yes, I have,” I said and looked at Zico. He looked visibly relieved. I guess two babies would have been too much for him to handle, I thought.
“I think that stress combined with the cyst is what has thrown off your cycle. I’m going to prescribe a medication, but I want to keep an eye on it. I want to see you back here in two weeks to see if it’s gone or if it’s going to be a problem,” he said and wrote out a prescription. “I want you to take it easy and you need to reduce that stress. Take care of yourself. I’m going to give you some vitamins too. If you start feeling any sharp pains in your side, get up to the hospital. They will call me.”
He handed me the little paper and turned to Zico. “How is Alicia?”
I looked at Zico in surprise. How does he know Alicia???
Zico looked at me too. I could tell he didn’t want me to know what the doctor was talking about. He answered the doctor in Korean so the doctor switched to that language too.
The doctor went over to talk quietly across the room. Then he left, and Zico looked at me. He was smacking one of his hands nervously into the other. “He’s coming back,” he said.
I nodded. “What is that all about?”
“I’m not sure,” he said.
“How does he know Alicia?” I asked.
He held up one finger. “Just wait. We’ll talk in the car.”
I kept my peace, but only because we were in a doctor’s office. The doctor came back in and handed Zico an envelope. Zico looked in it and in English asked, “What is this?
The doctor looked around at me and then back to Zico. “I can’t lie anymore. I don’t know why I took the money. I’m not that kind of person. I promise. The guilt has been killing me,” he said and pushed his glasses up again.
“What is this for?” asked Zico.
Please hold your tempter, Zico, I thought.
“I let Miss Wright bribe me to lie in her chart,” he said.
“About what?” asked Zico. His anger was building. I could see it in his eyes.
“She promised to send me a thousand every month if I would say that her pregnancy test was positive. She said that her home test was positive and that you would be devastated if I told you that she had lost the baby. But she didn’t. She was never pregnant. I checked. She said that it would give her enough time to become pregnant again, and maybe you would never know that the other baby was gone. Even though I knew it was never there. She’s very good at making you want to help her. When she left though, I started feeling guilty. When I found out that you were here, I knew I had to tell you the truth. Please give Miss Wright her money back and tell her that I’m sorry, but I can’t be her doctor anymore. I’m sorry to you too. I know that you wanted that baby very much, but it should be a little comforting to know that it never existed. She didn’t lose your child.”
Zico looked at the money, then at the doctor, then at me. He did that three times. Then in a burst of energy, he hugged the doctor and kissed his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry. Thank you for this! She lied to you. I was devastated that she was pregnant! Not because she wasn’t! You have given me the greatest gift ever today!” He hugged him again.
The doctor didn’t know what was going on. He had a confused scared look on his face. He looked at me and shrugged.
Zico came over and grabbed my hand. “Thanks again, Doc! I’ll be sure to tell Alicia that she doesn’t owe you anything, and I’ll take good care of this one.” He kissed my cheek and then pulled me out the door.
He all but skipped to the car. I hadn’t seen him this happy in forever. I had to admit that my heart was full of many emotions, but the main one was intense happiness.
I knew she lied! She had to be faking it! Now Zico can truly be mine.
When we got to the car, Zico pushed me up against the car and all but consumed me in a long heart-melting kiss.
He pulled away, out of breath, and said, “You know what this means?”
“What?” I said expectantly.
“I’m free! I’m free of everything! I’m sending Alicia back to America, and I never want to see her again!” He picked me up and swung me around. When he put me down, he pulled the envelope of money out of his pocket. “See this? I was going to take you shopping so that we could pick out clothes for my photo-shoot tomorrow. Now Alicia is buying most of it!”
He opened my car door and helped me in the car. I was still in shock. I think I just won the lottery!
His driving was even worse now, and he was talking a mile a minute. It was like he was let out of prison, and maybe he felt that way.
“I can’t believe that Bitch lied to me!” he said. “I don’t know how she thought she was going to pull that one off! We weren’t even sleeping together. Did she think I wasn’t going to notice? Was she going to fake a miscarriage after we were married? Did she think I would stay with her after that? I can’t believe I ever thought I loved her.”
“I don’t have to feel guilty for punching her in the stomach anymore either,” I said.
“Oh. My. God!” he said. “I couldn’t believe you did that! I never told you how proud I was of you! That was so BAD ASS!” he said excitedly.
“Well, thank you,” I said. “I was really mad. I knew she was faking a suicide attempt to manipulate you into staying.”
“It was so great. I knew she was faking too, but I never saw that coming,” he said.
I looked over at Zico and rubbed his arm. “I’m really sorry she did you that way,” I said.
“I’m sorry I let her come between us,” he said. “I was such an idiot! I knew it from the beginning too, but I didn’t know how to fix it. Now things can go back to the way they were supposed to be.”
I played with the pink pearl on my bracelet. “Can they?” I asked.
He looked at my hands. “What do you mean? Of course they can. You want that don’t you?”
“I do. But it’s not fair for me to keep jerking Ji-Yong around that way. I sort of committed myself to him when I thought that you were going to marry Alicia. I can’t use him that way.”
“Are you saying that you are going back to him?” asked Zico.
“No. I’m just saying that it isn’t right. What kind of person would I be?” I asked.
Zico parked by the sidewalk. “He didn’t seem that hurt at the coffee shop,” he said. “I’m just being honest. I know that when they kept you away from me, I wasn’t out having coffee with some other chick. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I want you to see the options clearly. Think about the way he treats you. Really think about it. He took you to a lot of parties where you got high. I even made love to you at one and he didn’t notice. He let’s you stay with his best friend knowing that you are sleeping in his bed. He never even took you to his place. It doesn’t seem that deep with him to me.”
“Wait! How do you know that we never went to his apartment?” I asked.
“I know things,” he said.
His little spying body guards!
“What is this?” he asked and picked up the pearl on my bracelet.
“Ji-Yong got that for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that you gave me the bracelet,” I said.
“I see,” he said.
“All of the things that you said are true. But, Zico, he’s not you. He doesn’t try to control my every move or tell me what I can and can’t do. He didn’t LET me do any of those things. I did them and he honored my choices. We had a different kind of relationship,” I said.
“I don’t want to control you. I want to keep you safe. You don’t know the danger you are in, but I do. I see all of the death threats. You don’t make great decisions. You let your emotions lead you, and that’s one thing I love about you, but it also gets you into trouble. For example,” he said. “You thought you were safe at that last party. Then there was Gong Yoo who took advantage of that. You were lucky that Ji-Yong was sober enough to stop that before it went too far, but what if he hadn’t been. I’m pretty sure that Yoo would have had sex with you in that pool. If I had been there, that never would have happened. Ji-Yong doesn’t know you like I do. I think he cares for you, but he doesn’t love you. What you see as controlling you is my way of taking care of you.”
Nodding I said, “I know that. None of it changes the fact that using him because I couldn’t have you was wrong. He’s going to get hurt, and it’s my fault.”
“I don’t think he’s going to get that hurt,” said Zico.
“I hope you’re right,” I said.
“I’ll just keep you locked up until he marries someone else,” he said.
I laughed. “Zico! You will not.”
He wasn’t laughing. “Watch me,” he said.”I’m not losing you again.”
I wanted to change the subject so I asked, “Well, what kind of clothes are we looking for? What is the theme of your photo-shoot?”
“One set is sponsored, but the other two are set by the magazine. One set is pastel and the other is hip-hop street,” he said.
“Those are broad,” I said. “But I’m sure we can find something.”
“Let’s hit it,” he said and got out of the car.
We found a swirling clock t-shirt and loose black and brown cargo pants with pockets and straps for the street set. I am pairing it with a long bomber coat covered in graffiti. The pastel set was harder. I didn’t know if it was casual or formal. They just said pastel. I went with casual formal. We bought a chunky mint green cable knit sweater with a pastel blue long sleeve polo shirt underneath. I found a pair of tight white linen pants that cupped his backside perfectly. I kept that little tidbit to myself. I picked up a white ribbed tank undershirt on a whim. Maybe they will use it. Maybe not. I know I’ll enjoy it on him later.
I talked Zico into taking me to see Marco. It helped that he was in such a good mood. Marco had been doing a little physical therapy, and he was already looking much better. He still couldn’t remember anything, but it was okay with me if he never did. I was afraid that the memory of it would hurt him. He took his bears with him to therapy everyday.
“Don’t you get strange looks?” I asked him.
“They like them,” he said. “They are all princesses and they say she the Queen.” He pointed at the Elizabeth bear.
I squeezed his hand. “That’s right, Marco! Don’t you forget it.”
We laughed. Zico sat and watched us talking. I could see him shake his head sometimes out of the corner of my eye. He would never understand how I had made such a close connection to my big scary body guard that couldn’t speak English very well. That was because he couldn’t see the real person beyond the muscles and the gun. Marco had a tender heart. I was sure that he only got into his job because he was such a giant.
“What is your favorite part about therapy?” I asked him.
He thought for a minute. He looked over at Zico, and then behind his hand, he whispered, “The princesses. They are very pretty.” He grinned a big toothy grin and his gold tooth sparkled.
I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t, and I burst out laughing. I told him, “You don’t have to whisper. Zico likes pretty girls too.”
He looked at Zico again. “But he doesn’t know that I do,” he said.
I pressed my lips together.
“Of course you do,” said Zico. “What’s not to like? What part do you like best?”
I rolled my eyes at him.
Marco looked at me now. Behind his hand, he whispered to Zico, “When they bend over.”
I put my hands over my mouth and died laughing.
“Mine too!” said Zico.
I was so glad he was trying to relate to Marco as a person and not just an employee.
I looked from him to Marco, and I realized that these people were my family. I had come to Korea looking for a job, and I had found my whole world. It included Ji-Yong and Seung-hyun and even Jong. I loved all of them. I had an American family that I loved very much, but I didn’t have much of a life in America. I was alone most of the time. I had expected to come here and do my job for three months and then go back home to business as usual. Then Zico happened, and I thank God that he did.
“Alright, you perverts! Ya’ll can talk about girls when I’m not here,” I said.
“I like when you bend over too,” said Zico and winked at me.
“I NEVER looked at you like that Miss Elizabeth!” said Marco emphatically. “I promise!”
“I know that Marco,” I said. “You and I are like brother and sister.”
We talked for a while longer, and Zico even joined in sometimes. Then we had to go.
In the car my stomach started growling out loud.
“I guess that’s your way of saying you want to go eat,” said Zico.
“You are very observant, Sir,” I said.
“Oh! I like it when you call me Sir,” he said.
I ran the back of my hand down his cheek softly. “Don’t get used to it,” I said.
“You are such a saucy young lady!” he said.
“I am many things. Sir,” I said.
He smiled and pulled into the restaurant parking lot. It seemed to be busy for dinner, but Zico insisted that we had to have spaghetti and it had to be from this restaurant.
We went in and were seated immediately, in spite of the fact that it looked like several people were waiting.
There’s that privilege again, I thought.
Our table was in a quiet corner, but it was still loud. There was a party going on in a separate room.
“Why did you insist we eat here?” I asked Zico. He was looking at the menu. I didn’t bother because he would order for me anyway.
Without looking up he said, “You will see. I’m craving carbs, and no one makes pasta like Chef Pan.”
I watched people come in and join the party. I didn’t tell Zico when Daesung came in with a gorgeous woman on his arm. Close behind him was Young-bae. He also brought a lady with him.
The waiter came over and Zico ordered in Korean. I was still watching the door. The next time it opened, my stomach dropped, and I felt sick. Ji-Yong came in, and he too had a beautiful Korean girl with him. They were dressed formally. I didn’t know what kind of function they had been to or were getting ready to go to. I didn’t feel much like eating anymore.
Zico was right. He didn’t care. I really was just a doll for them to play with. Don’t worry, Zico, I thought. I was an idiot too.
Unfortunately, they sat Ji-Yong right where I could see him through the door. I tried my best to ignore him, but it was very hard to do. Zico had to repeat things several times because my attention had been elsewhere. It wasn’t the fact that he was here with another woman. I mean, I was here with Zico and I was happy about it, but it came down to the fact that he had been lying to me.
But why?
I watched him lean over and smile as she whispered something in his ear. Then he threw his head back as he laughed.
I guess I don’t have to worry about hurting him, I thought. I don’t think it’s going to matter if I ever talk to him again. He seems perfectly happy.
“Elizabeth?” said Zico.
I snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah! What? I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else,” I said.
“I asked if you were going to eat. Would you like something else?” he asked.
“Um… no. This is great.” I twirled my fork in the spaghetti and took a bite. After I chewed a couple of times, I realized that it actually was the best spaghetti I had ever had. “Mmm…dis is dewishous,” I said with my mouth full.
“Didn’t I tell you?” asked Zico.
I nodded and stuffed another bite into my mouth. That’s when I remembered what Ji-Yong had said about liking to watch me eat. I looked down at the huge plate of spaghetti, and all of a sudden I felt really bad about myself. I could see my little fat roll sticking out, and then I looked at the girl that sat beside Ji-Yong. She was stick thin, and was delicately eating what looked like a tomato with her chopsticks. They were still laughing.
I put my fork down. I felt sick. I finished the bite that I had and then I only ate the spaghetti by strands.
“Zico?” I said.
“Hm?” he was still filling his mouth to the limit.
“Do you think I’m fat?” I asked.
He stopped chewing and looked up at me. “What?”
“I think I eat too much,” I said.
He looked confused. After he swallowed, he said, “Elizabeth, you are perfect. I love that you actually eat. Most girls that I dated wasted the food I bought them. And you know that I find you sexy as hell. When I look at you, I feel twinges in my body that I have never felt for anyone else. Where did this come from all of a sudden?”
I shrugged. I wanted to believe him. I looked at her and she was sipping water with lemon.
“I need to visit the ladies room,” I said.
He grabbed my hand as I stood up. “Are you okay? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”
I smiled and patted his hand. “I’m okay.”
In the bathroom, I pulled up my shirt and looked at my chubby belly. How am I supposed to compete with these girls that starve and dance all day? Is Zico going to find a cute, tiny Korean girl one day and decide he’s tired of my flabby body? I have to do better.
I decided then and there that I was going to get in shape. I finished in the bathroom, and when I opened the door, I came face to face with a huge problem. Literally face to face. I ran into Ji-Yong, and stepped on his foot. He was standing right outside of the bathroom door with Seung-hyun.
“Ji-Yong?” It was all I could manage before he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway the wrong way. Neither of them said a word. I looked back at Seung-hyun and he looked more serious than I had ever seen him.
I tried to pull my arm out of Ji-Yong’s grasp, but he squeezed harder, hurting me. “What is going on?” I asked. “Where are we going?”
They wouldn’t answer me. Ji-Yong opened a door that led outside. “Stop Ji-Yong! Let me go!”
There was a limo in the alley. The door was already open, and Ji-Yong shoved me into the car. He wasn’t being easy either. I was beginning to panic. Savannah was already in the car and Seung-hyun got in on the other side.
“I’m sorry,” said Ji-Yong. He was out of breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I had to hurry. I’ll see you in a little while.” He shut the door and the car started to move.
“Seung-hyun! What in the hell is going on?” I sounded angrier than I meant to, but I WAS angry!
“I’m taking you home,” he said.
“You don’t even know where I live,” I said.
“MY home,” he said.
“WHY? Where is Zico?”
He looked at Savannah, and she gave me a pitying look. It pissed me off. “He’s probably talking to the police right about now,” he said.
“WHAT? WHY?” I knew I was yelling, but I didn’t care.
“Because he kidnapped you, Elizabeth. He came into MY house, and literally took you away. He wouldn’t let us talk to you. We couldn’t find you anywhere. When I saw you at the restaurant tonight, I was stunned,” said Seung-hyun.
“He wasn’t hurting me,” I said.
“I don’t care,” he said. “He can’t come into someones house, and take people against their will.”
It was the last straw. I couldn’t take anymore. I started to cry and the more I cried, the harder the sobs became. Savannah moved over to sit beside me. She put her arms around me, and I leaned into her shoulder and continued to cry. She rubbed my head as if I was a child. It felt good to have the comfort of another woman, even if she was a stranger.
It wasn’t long before we pulled up to Seung-hyun’s house. He got out first, and came around to open my door. I jerked my hand away from him when he tried to help me out. I was furious. All of this was ridiculous. Even Zico. What it came down to was two men fighting over territory. It wasn’t really about me. They were equally matched and they couldn’t stand it. They were both too big to occupy the same space. Two dragons fighting over the same mountain top.
I walked behind Seung-hyun into the house. There was an American man standing just inside the door. He was dressed in a suit so I knew he wasn’t staff.
“Elizabeth, this is Mr. Max Lewinsky,” Seung-hyun said.
The man held out his hand for me to shake. I took it begrudgingly. He had very soft hands. My mother used to say that a man with soft hands had never done a days work in his life. Most work was a little different in her day I had to admit, but I still always noticed it. In my pissed off state, I was in no mood to put up with yet another man’s bullshit.
“Hello,” he said as I shook his hand.
Oh. I was wrong. He’s British.
“Mr. Lewinsky is going to stay with you while I’m out. I would stay, but it’s a work thing and I can’t get out of it,” said Seung-hyun. He gave me a stern look. “DON’T give him a hard time! He’s a nice man, and he is doing me a favor.”
I gave Seung-hyun a stern look right back. “I don’t care about your favors at the moment!”
“We will talk when I get home. Be good! I mean it, little one!” With that, he left without giving me a chance to retort.
I looked at Mr. Lewinsky. “You aren’t going to be another body guard asshole are you?” I asked. I didn’t feel like being polite.
He shook his head with a little laugh. “No. I’m not a body guard nor an asshole. I do have this spiffy gun though,” he said as he pulled his jacket back to show it to me. “It makes me look bad ass doesn’t it?” He raised one eyebrow and stuck his tongue in his cheek.
I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or if he was trying to be funny. It made me laugh, even as angry as I was.
“Are you threatening me?” I asked.
He reached out for my shoulder. “Oh God, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I was kidding,” he said.
I laughed more at his distress.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to be impolite. I’m mad at them, not you.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “Seung-hyun said that you weren’t going to be happy when you got here.”
He has such a cute accent, I thought. It’s kinda sexy.
Max Lewinsky was a good looking man. He had kind blue eyes and a sweet smile. He wasn’t much taller than me, had a nice neat goatee, and a few tiny freckles that ran right over the bridge of his nose. His dark hair was tousled instead of being neatly combed. It made him seem more approachable.
“Are you hungry, Mr. Lewinsky?” I asked. I was still hungry since I didn’t eat much at the restaurant.
“Please, call me Max,” he said. “I could eat.”
I turned to go to the kitchen. “Let’s see what that asshole has in his fridge,” I said.
He laughed and followed me.
I didn’t know how to cook most of the things that Seung-hyun had in his fridge, so I made ramyeon. I didn’t know how to spruce it up like the Koreans do so we ate just the noodles in broth. While we waited for it to cook, I told him a story.
“My Dad first introduced me to ramyeon,” I told him.
“Oh? Was your Dad Korean? You don’t look like you have Korean blood,” he said and sipped on a bottle of Soju.
I stirred the noodles. “No. He was stationed in Korea. Only, he pronounced it like Rom-knee. So, until I came here, that’s what I always called it. I still do sometimes.”
“That’s cute,” he said. “Did you ever correct your Dad?”
“No. My Dad died before I came here. I wouldn’t have anyway. I loved that he called it that,” I said and portioned out the soup.
He sat up. “Oh. I’m sorry,” he said.
“Thanks. I miss him a lot,” I said. I sat on a stool across from him at the kitchen island.
“I lost my Dad too. Last year. He was a cop, and he was shot in a pub brawl,” he told me.
I rubbed the back of his hand. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful,” I said.
He smiled. “It’s okay. He died a hero. I’m very proud of him,” he said.
“How do you know Seung-hyun?” I asked to change the subject.
He blew on his steaming noodles. “I own the security company that he employs.”
“Ohhh,” I said. “That explains the gun.”
He nodded and sipped his broth.
“So, you are getting paid for this favor?” I asked.
“In a way, I guess,” he said. “He pays a monthly bill, and I guess this could be included. It’s not a service I normally perform though.”
“What service are you performing exactly?” I asked.
“Babysitter?” he said.
A hot noodle fell down my chin and stuck. “Ow!” I said and stuffed it in my mouth. “I don’t need a babysitter you know? You can leave if you want to.”
“He said you would try to get me to leave,” he said. “He also told me that you are in a lot of danger. If I left, and something happened to you, well… I couldn’t live with that.”
Damn!
I batted my eyelashes a little. “Then, could you take me somewhere?” I asked. “I need to get some clothes from my place.”
He grinned. “Nice try. He also said that you were a little trickster. Seung-hyun can take you to get what you need when he gets back.”
“Maaaaax…” I whined.
He laughed. “He wasn’t wrong about you,” he said.
I pouted. I also noticed his bottle was almost empty. I went to the fridge and got him a new bottle of Soju. Yes…I was hatching a plan.
“Okay, I said. I give up. What should we do now?” I asked.
He stretched. “I don’t know. What would you like to do?”
“Hmm,” I leaned my chin on my hand against the counter and thought. “Wanna see Seung-hyun’s play room?”
He looked at me like he was trying to figure out the trick. “Alright. But what’s a play room? It’s not some kind of sex dungeon is it?”
“You’ll see,” I said. I grabbed our drinks and took him upstairs.
Seung-hyun’s play room had everything that you could ever imagine to play with. It even had a giant slide and a trampoline floor. We decided on something tame.
“Do you know how to shoot pool?” I asked him.
“Billiards?” he asked.
“Yes, you Brit! Billiards,” I said.
He laughed and I handed him his bottle of Soju. “Well, I could have suggested Snooker,” he said. “And I am VERY good at Billiards.”
“Could you teach me how to play?” I flirted.
He took off his jacket. “I guess I could show you a few things.”
“You get the balls, and I’ll get the sticks,” I said.
He shook his head. “I’ll rack the balls and you’ll grab the cues,” he said.
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Well, you want to learn don’t you?” he asked. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows.
I gave him a cue and watched him walk around the table like he owned it. This was his element. I had a feeling that when he said he was good at this game, he was better than that.
“The first thing you need to learn is how to hold a pool cue. Come over here,” he said and crooked his finger at me.
I went to him, and he got behind me. “Okay, first, which is your dominant hand?”
“My right,” I said.
“Hold the cue right at this line with your right hand.” He wrapped his fingers around mine. He had surprisingly big hands for a short guy. “You want to hold it a little loose. Don’t grip it too tight. That’s usually most peoples mistake in Billiards. They tense up. You need to be relaxed so that you will have more control.”
He moved even closer. “Now, bend over the table,” he said.
I gave him a little smirk. “I don’t usually allow that until at least the third date, Mr. Lewinsky,” I said.
“You cheeky little…” he said. “Bend over the table.”
Damn! I think Mr. Lewinsky has a bit of a dominant side.
I bent over and he leaned down too. “Now, with this hand, you want to line up your shot. Decide where you want to hit and imagine the cue ball moving in that line. The cue is an extension of that line so you can make this little white ball go anywhere that you please. She’s your bitch to command,” he said.
“Mr. Lewinsky! Now who’s being cheeky?” I asked.
“That’s not cheek,” he said. “That’s confidence. Now, aim your shot. Put your finger and thumb like this and lay the cue across them. With the other hand, you are going to hit her as hard as you can.” He stood up. “Don’t look at the cue ball. Look at your target. Since you are a beginner, you should hit the front ball. You want to knock at least one ball in.”
I actually felt like I was in control of where the cue ball went. I pulled the cue back and struck as hard as I could. It must have been a good shot because Max gave me a broad grin. Balls went everywhere and I got three striped balls in different pockets.
“That was perfect!” he said. “I think if I had enough time with you, I could turn you into a shark.”
I took him his Soju, and he took a big drink.
“I slept on a pool table once,” I said.
“Oh really? That must have been uncomfortable,” he said and took another drink.
“I don’t remember. I was drunk,” I said.
He clinked my bottle with his. “Yeah, I can relate to that.”
“Wanna jump on the trampoline?” I asked him.
“I don’t think that would be smart with a gun on my hip,” he said.
“Oh, come on. You can take that off to jump. We are the only ones here,” I said.
He tilted his head as he was thinking. “I’m really not supposed to, but I guess I could for a few minutes.”
“Yay!” I yelled and slipped my shoes off right there. I ran over to the section of the room where the floor turned into a trampoline. I hated to admit it, but I was actually having fun with my babysitter. I bounced a little while I waited for him to take off his shoes, then he joined me.
“Now, I’m not doing any flips,” he said. “I have never been good at gymnastics.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “I wasn’t either. Give me your hands.”
He held my hands and we started to jump. Then, still holding hands, I jumped and then he jumped. When we got tired we sort of fell down laughing.
I rolled to my side and held my head up with my hand. Max was breathing hard and his cheeks were flushed. It was a good look on him. “Will you let me do something?”
He started laughing, “That depends on what you want to do,” he said and put his hand behind his head.
“Let me take your shirt off. It looks uncomfortable and you have a t-shirt on underneath. Please?”
He caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought about it. “Oh, alright,” he said.
I reached over and started to unbutton his shirt. He didn’t help, and just watched my face. He wasn’t laughing anymore.
It became a much more intimate moment than I had meant for it to. I really did think he would be more comfortable. Now it just seemed like I wanted to undress him. When I got to the last button, I sat up to diffuse the tension, and said, “Okay, now what?”
He sat up and finished taking his shirt off, throwing it off of the trampoline. “Now, you had better be fast, because if I catch you, I’m going to tickle you until you pee.”
I screamed and ran to the other side of the trampoline. He lunged for me and I barely escaped while he bounced off of the netting.
Damn! He means business, I thought.
He chased me around the trampoline until finally, I messed up and fell. He jumped on top of me, straddled me around my middle and proceeded to tickle me while I screamed in laughter. After a few minutes, he had mercy on me and stopped, falling on top of me while we both laughed and laughed.
When he rolled to the side, I sat up in shock to see both Seung-hyun and Ji-Yong watching us. Seung-hyun was swinging Max’s shirt back and forth on one finger. Neither of them looked very happy. Especially Ji-Yong.
That’s when Max saw them too and sat up beside me.
“Elizabeth,” said Seung-hyun. “I had heard about how you turn your body guards into playthings, but I didn’t really understand what they meant until now.”
“Well, you did tell me to keep a close eye on her,” said Max. “You said not to let her out of my sight and here she is. She’s safe and sound.”
“You know, Max, I can’t even be angry with you. Elizabeth has some kind of weird effect on people. At least she didn’t trick you into letting her go. Can we please all get dressed, and go downstairs to talk?”
Seung-hyun threw Max’s shirt at him, turned, and walked out of the room. Ji-Yong was still leaning against the wall looking at me. Max helped me up. When I got to where Ji-Yong stood, he grabbed my head and looked closely at my eyes.
“I was hoping that you were drunk,” he said.
“Why?” I asked. I didn’t understand.
“Because that would explain what I just saw. Now I can only make assumptions,” he said.
I jerked away from him. “Oh really? This coming from a man that spent the evening flirting with and fawning all over another woman.”
Max left the room.
“She was a work colleague,” he said. “We were working.”
“Yeah. It sure looked like you were working hard,” I said.
“At least we weren’t half naked rolling around on a trampoline,” he said.
“We were just playing, Ji-Yong. It was innocent…” I started to say.
Ji-Yong pulled me into a tight hug. “I’ve been so worried about you. I can’t believe that bastard had the balls to come in here and take you right out of my arms. That will NEVER happen again! He is never getting close to you again.”
“Ji-Yong…he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He thought he was saving me,” I said.
“He kidnapped you. He held you somewhere that no one could find you. I had no idea how to get to you. I gave him your phone in hopes that he would actually give it to you, but I guess he didn’t did he?”
“He told me that he saw you, but no, he wouldn’t give me the phone,” I said.
“His ass is staying the night in jail tonight, and a lot longer if I get my way,” said Ji-Yong.
I was so tired. I was tired of all of this. Without another word, I turned and went downstairs.
He followed me, trying to get me to talk to him, but I was done talking. Someone was either lying to me or manipulating me, or something, and I was done. He grabbed my wrist, and I pulled it from his grasp. “Stop. Please just stop, Ji-Yong. Leave me alone.”
I left him standing there looking crestfallen. I found Seung-hyun and Max in one of the downstairs sitting rooms.
Seung-hyun stood and started to speak. “Elizabeth…”
I put up a hand to stop him. “I’m done. I’m done with all of this. I have been pushed and shoved and manipulated and I can’t take anymore. You two tell me one thing. Zico tells me another. No one cares what this is doing to me. My mind is so confused. I need a break. So, please. PLEASE! Give me some money, and get one of your cars to take me to a hotel. I need to be by myself. I can pay you back as soon as I can get into my bank account. Please do this for me,” I said. By the time I was done I was on the verge of tears.
His voice was soft. “Elizabeth, this is a very big house. You can be completely alone here if you want. You can have an entire wing if you would like.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s not the same. Please do this for me, Seung-hyun.”
He stared down at his clasped hands for a moment. Max didn’t say anything and Ji-Yong listened from the doorway.
“It scares me, but I can do that for you,” he said. “Which hotel do you want to go to? I’ll call and reserve you a room.”
“The Intercontinental should be fine,” I said.
“No!” said Ji-Yong from behind me. “You can’t go there and stay alone!”
I swung on him. “I can, Ji-Yong. I can’t stay here. I need to get away from the craziness for a while. I’ll be fine.”
Seung-hyun hung up his phone. “They have a room waiting. My driver will take you whenever you want to go,” he said. He pulled out his money clip and flipped through bills. “Here. You don’t have to pay me back.”
I took the money and noticed that they were all big bills. I wasn’t great with the money conversion, but I knew he had given me several hundred dollars. “I don’t need this much,” I said. I tried to hand some of the money back to him, but he refused it.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’ve just reached my limit of crazy for awhile. Please forgive me.”
I turned to leave, but Ji-Yong wouldn’t move. He just stared down at me with a look on his face that I couldn’t read.
“Ji-Yong,” said Seung-hyun. “Let her leave. She’ll be okay.”
He turned to the side and I was almost afraid he was going to grab me when I passed him, but he didn’t.
Seung-hyun’s car was waiting outside the door. The driver held the door for me, and when I was in the car, he put up the privacy window for me.
Finally, I thought. I laid my head back on the seat and cried some more.
There was my big scary teddy bear, sitting up in bed looking at me with open eyes. He had changed so much. He looked frail and his eyes looked weak. They didn’t twinkle like they once did. His will was as strong as ever though! That’s right, Marco! You showed them! They wanted to give up on you, but I knew you were coming back! They don’t know you like I do.
I sat with him, holding his hand, until they came and kicked me out. They said he needed to rest. I knew he did, but I felt selfish, and I didn’t want to leave him. I had been there for hours and it wasn’t enough.
Kissing his cheek, I told him I would be back the next day, and I left. It was so tempting to ask him a million questions, but I didn’t. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway because he said he couldn’t remember anything. He didn’t remember what happened to him or who had done it. The doctor told him that his memory may come back to him, but it was very likely that he would never remember the things that happened just before his coma.
His body had healed, and he was ready to begin physical therapy after the weekend. They would give him fluids and vitamins until then, and start strengthening him. He would be back to mountain status in no time.
It was a different story for me, however. I felt like a pane of fractured glass. The next little thing that happened was going to shatter me. I felt completely out of control. I was like a chess pawn, being pushed to whichever square these boys thought I should be in next. I guess that would make Alicia the Queen, and now Zico was her King.
My emotions didn’t know which way to run. I was experiencing pain and joy and confusion and clarity all at once. It made me feel numb.
The next stop I made was Ji-Yong’s room. I painted a big fake smile on my face just like I was an expert makeup artist.
He was also all smiles.
“I see that you are feeling much better,’ I said.
“I am now! Come over here and hug me,” he said.
I did as I was told. Like I always did.
I’ve really got to quit doing that, I thought.
I leaned over to hug him, and he put his arms around me and pulled me up into his lap. “Well! Someone is feeling way too good,” I said. “What kind of pain killers do they have you on and can I have some?”
He laughed. “I have no idea, but they are miracle workers he said. He kissed me. And kissed me. And kissed me…
I can’t lie. I kissed him back. It felt wrong and right. It felt rebellious and vengeful. It felt strange and comfortable. It felt like a salve on my open wounds.
“Ji-Yong! Someone is going to come in here,” I said.
He grinned. “You are blushing,” he said. “You just wait until they release me. I’m going to try to keep you blushing for days.”
That really did make me blush. “Ji-Yong!”
“I’m going to take you back to my place, strip you down and hide your clothes. Then I’m going to have my way with you in every room, and on every surface of my house,” he said.
Now he’s just saying things to embarrass me.
“You know? I’ve never thought about you having a house. You have a house?”
“Of course I have a house,” he said. “Well, it’s an apartment. Where did you think I went when I went home?”
“I never thought about it,” I said. “Why have we never gone to your apartment?”
“Reporters sit outside my place waiting for photo opportunities. I didn’t want to expose you like that,” he said.
I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout. “You’re ashamed of me,” I said.
“I am NOT!” he said with a guilty laugh.
“Yes you are! You are ashamed of me. You don’t want anyone to know about me,” I said.
“Elizabeth! Everyone knows about me and you! I’m extremely proud to call you mine! I was doing you a favor. I didn’t want anyone to say something bad about you,” he said. “You don’t really think that do you?”
I ran my thumb over his bottom lip and said, “I guess you will have to convince me.”
“Oh really?” he said. “So that was a fake blush.” He scooted over and pulled me down to lay beside him in the bed. We stayed that way, talking and kissing, until we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly.
Seung-hyun was standing at the end of the bed with a raised eyebrow. “Now, Elizabeth! This boy is sick and on drugs, and you are taking advantage of him. You should be ashamed,” he said.
“I tried to fight her off, Hyung. She overpowered me. She kept trying to molest me, and I was too weak to fight her off. You came just in time,” said Ji-Yong.
“If only you could have done the same for me last night,” said Seung-hyung. “I wasn’t as lucky as you. I fought hard, but she’s a tigress. Did you show him your wounds, Elizabeth?”
I gave him a look that said, Shuuush! And shook my head. Then I looked over at Ji-Yong and smiled.
“What wounds? You got wounds? How did she get wounds?” he asked and looked up at Seung-hyun.
“It was my fault,” he said.
Ji-Yong sat up, leaning back on his hands. “You wounded her? What did you do? I put her in your care, Hyung,” he said.
I got out of the bed. “It was an accident,” I said. I mumbled to Seung-hyun as I walked behind him, “I wasn’t going to say anything!”
“You thought he wouldn’t see it eventually?” asked Seung-hyun. “I started sleep walking again.”
Ji-Yong got out of bed at that, pulling his I.V. “Come over here, Elizabeth,” he said. “What did you do to her?”
“I bit her,” he said.
“You BIT HER?” asked Ji-Yong.
“It’s okay, Ji-Yong,” I said.
“Let me see.”
I pulled the collar down on my turtleneck and showed him the bandage. He gently pulled on the edge until he could see the bite. “What the hell, Seung-hyun? Why did that crap start up again? What’s been going on?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Well, she can’t stay there anymore,” said Ji-Yong.
“She most certainly can,” said Seung-hyun. “She knows what to do now.”
Ji-Yong climbed back into the bed. “But what if she’s asleep? What if you kill her before she wakes up?”
“That’s not how it works, and you know it,” said Seung-hyun. “I feel guilty enough already. Now you’re going to say she can’t stay?”
I was just looking from one to the other, wondering when they were going to include me in the conversation. They all automatically assume that I have no say in where I go or stay or anything for that matter!
“I just worry. At least give her a weapon,” said Ji-Yong.
“HEY!” I said. They both looked at me like they had forgotten I was in the room. “I hate to break it to you two, but I’m a person with a brain and a will of her own. I can make my own decisions. You all act like you are fighting over custody of a child. Even Zico!”
“We just want to make sure you are safe,” said Ji-Yong. “We don’t mean to make decisions for you.”
“Yes we do!” said Seung-hyun. “We are well versed in this business, and we know what is safe and what isn’t. We know Seoul. We know where you can go and where you can’t and we also have security everywhere. You don’t see them, because you aren’t supposed to. Our homes are secure, and most of the functions that we attend are secure. This city is dangerous enough for a regular woman, but you have people actively seeking you out to harm you. We get death threats every day, and we even get them against you. A lot of these fans are insane. They think they own us, and they see you as a threat. They have crazy ideas that one day they will come to a fan meet or a concert, and we will fall in love with them. If you get in the way of that, they have to get you out of the way. That’s why you can’t walk around by yourself. That’s why Woo Jiho has guards around you all of the time. You know about the one visible body guard that he lets walk around with you. You don’t know about the other three that follow you everywhere”
“What? What other three?” I asked.
“They are in this hospital right now,” he said. “He knows what kind of danger you are in all of the time. Why do you think he panics so much when you don’t answer your phone?”
“That’s how he always knows where I am!” I said.
“Yes, that’s how he knows everything,” he said.
“I understand,” I said. “I didn’t realize all of that.”
“I know you didn’t. Now you do so you will be a good girl, and stop getting yourself into so much trouble. You are making all of us crazy!” he said.
It was quiet for a minute and then we all laughed.
We talked for another hour before Seung-hyun and I left. I didn’t know I was staying another night with him, but that was decided for me too.
Zico was not happy when he found out that I was staying with Seung-hyun.
I was talking to him while Seung-hyun walked around the kitchen making dinner and listening in to our conversation.
“Why don’t you stay in your new apartment?” he asked.
“It hurts my heart. It’s lonely there, Zico.”
“Are you falling for Seung-hyun?” he asked.
I laughed. “No! As a matter of fact, I may rethink my plan to return to America after all. At least until after the fashion show in November. I’ve been talking to Ji-Yong, and he offered to let me live with him if I stay. I could still work for you and finish getting ready for the show. I wouldn’t have to worry about rent or anything else.”
“You don’t have to worry about that at our apartment!” he said.
It didn’t escape my notice that it went from being ‘your apartment’ to being ‘our apartment’. Zico knew that he could come and go as he pleased in that apartment, and I couldn’t let that happen. I would keep getting my heart broken over and over.
“I love that place, Jiho. I really do. But like I said, it’s so lonely there. Why don’t you reconsider and take Alicia there?”
“Because it belongs to you. I can’t stand the thought of her in that place.”
“Well, dinner is almost done. I just wanted you to know that I’m okay,” I said.
“I don’t want you to go,” he said.
“I was also thinking about something else,” I said quietly. “I think we are going to have to start treating our relationship as a work relationship. This is the last time I’m going to call you to tell you where I am. I’m very well taken care of. It wouldn’t be fair to Ji-Yong for me to keep this going.”
He was quiet.
“Zico? Are you still there?”
“I don’t know if I can live with this,” he said.
“You can. You are Zico! You can do anything! I have to go,” I said.
“I love you,” he said.
I hung up. My heart was breaking.
I’m the one who had the nightmares that night. Zico had tried calling back and sending texts all evening. I had to turn my phone off. I tried not to think about him. That made it harder not to think about him. That night when I went to bed, I prayed for relief or death. Whichever, would make this constant ache in my chest stop.
I didn’t get to sleep until early in the morning so Seung-hyun let me sleep late. When I woke up it was after noon. I found a fresh set of clothes waiting for me. Seung-hyun had chosen a bright red dress for me to wear today. He came up to check on me when I was mostly dressed. I was fastening the strappy red shoes over the sheer shiny tights he had selected. They had the tiniest ruby gemstones throughout the fabric that only sparkled when the light hit them just right.
“Come over here, and let me do your hair,” he said. “I have a surprise waiting for you downstairs for lunch.”
“I feel like it’s my birthday,” I said. “I keep getting all kinds of surprises from everyone.”
“Everyone loves you,” he said.
I sat down in front of the mirror.
“That’s definitely not true,” I said. “Everyone feels sorry for me.”
“No. You feel sorry for yourself enough that we don’t have to,” he said. He pulled the sides of my hair up into tiny pigtails on top of my head that he tied with bright green ribbons. He let the long tails of the ribbon flow down through the back of my hair.
“Seung-hyun! That was mean,” I said.
He looked at me in the mirror. “I wasn’t trying to be mean. I’ve been broken hearted before. Being dead would hurt less, but the pain doesn’t last forever. The best cure is a new love, and you already have one waiting for you. So, you get one week.”
“One week?” I asked. “For?…”
“To pout and mope around. Then you have to get to work on your new relationship. It’s not fair to make him wait longer than that,” he said.
I put on makeup as we talked, and when I was done, I had to ask, “Am I an apple today or a cherry?”
“You are a cherry of course. Cherries are the candy of the fruit world. You are the candy of Ji-Yong’s world.”
“Oh, Seung-hyun. That was weak,” I said.
“It made you smile,” he said. “Besides, red is his favorite color, and you look amazing in bright colors.”
It did make me smile. “I look like a little girl,” I said.
“You are adorable,” he said.
“Are we going to see Ji-Yong?” I asked.
“We are,” he said and pulled me up from the chair.
“I have to go see Kim Marco too,” I said.
“Of course. But first, lunch. Eat a lot. You have a long day coming,” he said.
I’m not even going to ask. I feel faded today, as if I’m a thin sheet of tissue paper. I’m just going to let him move me around the chessboard, however he likes.
“We might as well eat outside since we don’t have many more nice days to do so,” he said. I followed him out to the side garden.
I saw my surprise before we even got to the table. He stood up, all smiles and excitement, and obviously dressed by Seung-hyun as well.
When I reached the table, he lifted me off the ground in a tight hug and swung me around.
“Ji-Yong! You are going to hurt yourself!” I said.
He kissed my nose. “I’m fine. But not as fine as you!” he said and held me at arms length to look me over.
“You are going to make me blush again,” I said.
“So I found something else that makes you blush,” he said with a big teasing grin.
“Shh…” I said and looked at Seung-hyun.
“Don’t bother being secretive, Elizabeth,” said Seung-hyun. “You are one of the most modest people I’ve ever met. Big bananas make you blush.”
I hid my face behind my hand, “Oh my gosh, Seung-hyun!”
“See!” he said.
“Can we just eat?” I said and sat in the seat that Ji-Yong held for me.
When I was seated, Seung-hyun handed me a banana. Ji-Yong laughed. I wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of my embarrassment. I very slowly peeled that banana, ran my tongue up the length of it, and nibbled the tip. Then, inch by inch I ate that banana. They both silently watched me, squirming a little in their seats, and there was no more laughing. When I was done, I handed the peel back to Seung-hyun and said, “Thank you. I was starving.”
He took the peel and said, “Would you like another?”
“Now that she’s had her potassium, I think she needs some other nutrients,” said Ji-Yong. “Just serve the damn omelets, Hyung.”
“You’re no fun,” said Seung-hyun and served the breakfast around the table.
I really was starving. “Seung-hyun said that we have a long day ahead. What are we going to do?” I asked Ji-Yong.
“Well, I thought I would take you shopping. Then, Hyung has a party planned for tonight,” said Ji-Yong.
“What are we shopping for?” I asked.
Ji-Yong looked at me like he thought it was cute that I was clueless. Like I was a puppy with my ears pricked up. “For whatever you would like. I want you to buy whatever your heart desires. Clothes, jewelry, shoes, anything.”
“But why?” I asked.
“Because I want to,” said Ji-Yong. “I do have a slight ulterior motive though.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. “Which is what?
“Our shopping excursion is going to be a bit of PR. You could say that we are going to show off for the paparazzi,” he said.
“But why? I thought we wanted to keep a low profile,” I said.
He took a bite of bread.
“Ji-Yong has a solo project that he’s been working on,” said Seung-hyun. “He needs to be seen and talked about and most of all, photographed.”
That made sense. “Isn’t it bad for you to be seen with me though?” I asked Ji-Yong.
“Normally, yes, but sometimes it’s good to be seen dating. Since there was so much press before about my fight with Jiho over you, it will actually help me to be seen with you,” he said.
I thought about that for a second. “Won’t that make Zico look bad though?”
I could tell that it bothered him that I was protecting Zico. “No. Alicia leaked her pregnancy and engagement. So everyone knows that he’s with her.”
The word engagement made my stomach sink. I couldn’t eat another bite. “I can’t let you buy me things,” I said.
“Just imagine how jealous Alicia Wright will be when she sees the press,” said Seung-hyun.
I did like the sound of that.
“It will be fun,” said Ji-Yong. “You need to get used to it. I plan to spoil the hell out of you.”
I fought a smile, but it won.
“That’s better,” said Ji-Yong.
“You aren’t doing this because I said you are ashamed of me are you?” I asked.
“That did bother me,” he admitted. “Because it’s not true. I have been thinking about this for a few days though. So not really.”
I turned to Seung-hyun. “You didn’t say anything about a party!”
“I did so!”
“You most certainly did not! I would have remembered that,” I said.
“I told you about it the second day that you were at my house.,” he said.
“How was I supposed to remember that? Much less know that was for tonight?” I said.
Ji-Yong started laughing. “I have to stop letting you stay here,” he said. “You two fight like a married couple.”
I looked at Seung-hyun who looked very amused and we both laughed.
He looked at his watch. “If you two are finished, you had better get going,” he said.
“Are we on a schedule?” I asked as Ji-Yong held my chair for me.
“Well, it may have also been leaked anonymously that I was going to be in a certain part of town at a certain time today,” he said.
I got up and stretched. “You guys are sneaky,” I said.
“That’s the business,” said Seung-hyun.
I had never been in this part of town before. That’s because I could never afford anything in this section. Not even coffee. I went into shops that didn’t look like shops. They were more like art museums. If I wanted to see what an outfit looked like on someone, they had a model put it on and come out to show me. He was right. I felt like royalty, but guilty royalty. I kept wanting to apologize for being a bother.
“You aren’t bothering them,” said Ji-Yong. “They get paid very well to be bothered.”
“It just feels like too much,” I said. “That dress is still not going to look as good on me as it does her.”
He kissed my cheek. “It’s going to look better.” Then he whispered, “One of my favorite things about you is your curves. All of them. I love that you don’t starve yourself into a stick figure. I love taking you to dinner and watching you actually eat.” Then he licked my earlobe. It was a quick flicker, but it made my whole body shiver.
“I’ll take that dress,” I told the shop girl.
We went to so many different shops that my head was spinning. He bought me clothes and shoes and lingerie. We went into a jewelry store and that was where I was going to put my foot down, but Ji-Yong managed to talk me into getting a tiny charm to go on my bracelet with the butterfly. I didn’t tell him that Zico had given it to me. He added a tiny pink pearl.
“A pink pearl symbolizes success, fame, and good fortune,” he said.
“Does everything have a meaning in Korea?” I asked.
“Many things do,” he said.
“Oh! I meant to ask you, what is your power animal?”
He gave me a strange look. “What do you think?”
“Um… a dragon?” I asked.
“What else?” He smiled that beautiful smile of his. “What do you know about power animals?” Then he put his index finger in front of his mouth and said, “Wait! Seung-hyun took you to see Dong-Hyun didn’t he!?”
“Yep!” I said.
“Never take or drink anything that those two hand you. It never turns out well,” he said.
“Well, I did find out my power animal is a butterfly,” I said.
“Naturally,” he said and put his fingers through mine.
“Then I had a wonderful nap and I was able to finish my all of the drawings for my collection,” I said. “I didn’t see any bad effects.”
“You were lucky. I had nightmares for a week,” he said.
I noticed that we didn’t actually stay around and pay for anything. He would tell the shop person that he would take it, and we would leave.
“Ji-Yong?”
“Yeah?”
“Why aren’t we actually paying or taking anything that we pick? Is this all just for show?” I asked.
He smiled without looking at me. “The company takes care of it, and everything will be sent back to my place.”
“Oh,” I said. I felt like a dumb country bumpkin. Rich people really do have advantages that the rest of us don’t share.
“Ji-Yong?”
“Yes?”
“Can we go into one more store? I want to get something for Marco,” I said.
“Of course we can. Where do you want to go?” he asked.
I pointed at a store and he gave me a skeptical look. “You want to get him something from in there?”
I nodded.
“Elizabeth, Kim Marco is a big hardened assassin. Why do you insist on treating him like a child?” he asked.
“I don’t!” I said. “We have a special relationship. Marco has two sides, and he lets me see the other one.”
“Oh alright,” he said. “Lead the way.”
I took him into Build-a-Bear. I searched around until I found the perfect set of bears for him. One was a big brown bear. I had them put it in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. They put a little gun on it’s side for me and a teddy bear piercing in it’s ear. Then I paired it with a smaller white bear. She wore a blue dress with tiny daisies on it and she had a crown. I tied their hands together with a red ribbon.
While I was shopping, I lost Ji-Yong. When I had finished, I saw him talking to one of the shop girls. I went over to him and she smiled at me, bowed, and walked away.
“Are you flirting with other women right in front of me, Ji-Yong?” I teased him.
“I would never! I was just settling the bill,” he said. “I’m guessing that bear isn’t me.”
“You can pretend that it is,” I said and smiled over at him.
He shook his head, laughed, and put his hand on the small of my back to lead me out of the store.
He waited for me to get into the car before getting in himself.
“About the party tonight, if you aren’t up for it, you and I can stay upstairs. Seung-hyun won’t care.”
I rubbed the tattoos on his fingers. “Is it going to be like the last party?”
He shook his head. “No, that’s his big party. This is a shisha party with only a few of his art world friends.”
“Do you want to go?” I asked.
“I’ve only been to one. It’s like hookah except Seung-hyun has a special formula made for his parties. It’s up to you. If you go I’m definitely going to be there. I don’t want you waking up with naked people that you don’t remember like he does.”
We both laughed.
“Ji-Yong.” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Dragons aren’t real,” I said.
“Wanna make a bet?” he asked and winked. Putting his fingers under my chin, he lifted up my head and kissed me. It was a slow sweet kiss. “This one is.”
I wouldn’t tell him, but Zico was much more of a dragon than he was. Ji-Yong seemed more like a big cat. Sensual, beautiful, and powerful. He had a quiet power. His presence commanded attention when he was in the room. People were drawn to him. I was drawn to him. He was magnetic.
Seung-hyun dressed me in a very sweet maroon dress with tiny white flowers. It had a sheer maroon overlay that swished a little when I moved. He left my feet bare. Ji-Yong wore a black sweater and jeans, while Seung-hyun looked amazingly sexy in a white button up shirt, black vest and striped tie. His gray slacks were shiny and skin tight. I didn’t mind that one bit.
He had hired a caterer, and while the boys were busy talking, I snuck down to the dining room to eat. I was really hungry after all of that shopping. Marco had loved his bears! He kept them in the bed with him, and when the nurse tried to move them, he growled at her.
I didn’t know what a lot of the Korean dishes were, but there were hamburger and chicken sliders so I ate some of them. I had been hungry a lot lately. More so than normal. That’s when a scary thought came to me. Oh God! What if I’m pregnant? I tried to think back to when I knew I was definitely not pregnant, and I couldn’t remember. I didn’t have any other symptoms though. It’s probably just stress. I’m not going to panic until there is something to panic about.
The doorbell rang. Seung-hyun stuck his head in the door and said, “Party time!” He wiggled his eyebrows at me which made me laugh. I smacked my hands together to get rid of the evidence, and went out to the pool.
Ji-Yong seemed to be a part of the decorations. There were colorful lights and flowers floating in the pool as well as lights strung over our heads. He was laying in a lounge chair with his sunglasses on, looking perfect. He was scrolling on his phone. The shisha pipe was surrounded by big fluffy pillows. It was quite elegant, but it looked like a silver and blue octopus sitting in the middle of a colorful cloud.
I went over and sat at Ji-Yong’s feet. He sat up and putting his hands on either side of my head, gave me a deep kiss. “You sure about this?”
I nodded.
“Look, we are big news already,” he said. He held up his phone and showed me pictures and articles of us shopping. I couldn’t read what they said, but I didn’t think I needed to. He told me they were very positive articles. A few girls were extremely upset, but overall, the comments were good. Most people were happy to see Ji-Yong happy. They also liked how well he treated his girlfriend.
Seung-hyun brought his friends out to the party area and introduced me. He introduced them as friends, which wasn’t very helpful. One girl who already knew Ji-Yong took to me quickly. Her name was Yoo Ha-Joon and she was very sweet. She spoke English pretty well so I could actually talk to her. The rest of his friends didn’t and they mostly just smiled at me. I did the same.
Seung-hyun opened the patio doors to the dining room and everyone began mingling. He was smart to put people together that had never met. I sat between Ji-Yong’s legs, leaned back against him, and watched everyone get to know each other. He kept putting his face into my hair and softly kissing my neck. It was driving me crazy. I was pretty sure how this evening was going to end, and I was fine with that.
“Hungry?” asked Ji-Yong.
“I am a little,” I said. I didn’t tell him I already had three sliders.
“There is something I want you to try. It’s my absolute favorite, and I think you will love it,” he said.
I wrinkled up my nose. “What is it?”
“Ganjang gaejang,” he said.
“Does that have intestines or octopus or something yucky in it?” I asked.
He laughed and leaned down until he was right in my face. “Those things are delicious, which you would know if you would try them. And no. This is crab in soy sauce.”
I frowned. “Don’t they cook crabs alive?”
“Nope,” he lied and went off to make a plate.
“Yes they do,” I mumbled to myself.
“Who does what?” asked a gentleman who had just walked by to lean against the wall behind us.
“Oh, sorry. I was talking to myself,” I said.
He smiled and forked a carrot on his plate. “I do that all of the time,” he said. “And I answer myself. I always seem to know all of the right answers.”
“That is a sign of insanity you know,” I said. I figured if he was going to be open then I could too.
He laughed. “Really? I thought knowing everything was a sign of intelligence. Hm. That explains a lot,” he said. I didn’t know if he had misunderstood me or he was being obtuse on purpose.
He came over to sit in the opposite lounge chair. Bowing his head slightly, he said, “I’m Gong Ji Cheol. You probably know me as Gong Yoo. You can call me Yoo if you would like. I know it’s easier for American’s sometimes.”
“I’m Elizabeth. I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with many pop stars here,” I said.
He really laughed at that. “No,no. I’m an actor. But it’s okay. I’m actually glad.”
“That’s what Ji-Yong said when I didn’t know him,” I said.
He kept laughing and stuffed food in his mouth. “I bet that shocked him! Oh, you Americans! I just love you guys.”
Should I be insulted? I never know here.
Ji-Yong came over with our plate, and straddled the seat right behind me. “Hey,” he said to Gong Yoo.
“Ji-Yong, this is…” I looked at the man because I had already forgotten his name.
“I know Ji Cheol,” he said.
“She doesn’t,” Yoo said.
“She didn’t know me either,” said Ji-Yong. “That was the best thing about her.”
Yoo stood up. Looking back as he walked away he said, “Not the best thing.”
I looked back at Ji-Yong. “What did he mean by that?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Try this,” he said and held out a pair of chopsticks holding crab.
I looked at it with apprehension. It did look appetizing. “But they cook them alive,” I said.
“They shoot cows when they are alive,” he said.
“But that’s a fast death,” I said.
“These crabs died fast, he said. “Besides, they are already dead. Should their sacrifice mean nothing? If we throw it out, they died for nothing when they could be nourishing our bodies.”
Dammit! He has a point!
“Alright. You are right,” I said and ate the food he held out for me. It was fantastic!
“Crabs have tiny little brains,” he said. “They only have enough brain power to move, eat, and have sex. They don’t feel much pain.”
He was making things up to make me feel better. It was very sweet.
Our attention was drawn to the other side of the pool where a commotion was happening.
“Oh no,” said Ji-Yong and laid his head on my back.
“What’s wrong? Who is that?” I asked.
A woman had just arrived who looked to be a younger than me, dressed in a glamorous black dress that was topped off with a purple and black top hat, and shiny purple stilettos that looked like something a dominatrix would wear.
“It’s Savannah,” he said.
“That tells me nothing,” I said.
“Don’t worry,” he said against my back. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
“She doesn’t look Korean,” I said.
I felt him shake his head against my back. “No. She’s from Georgia. In America. Not the country. She’s an interior decorator friend of Seung-hyuns.”
“Wait! Is she THAT Savannah? The famous one?” I asked.
“The very same,” he said.
“Oh gosh!” I said. “I’ve taken out subscriptions to decorating magazines because of her.”
“Want to go inside?” he asked.
“But I want to meet her,” I said.
He sat up. “Then can I go inside?”
I kissed his cheek. “You don’t like her?”
“She’s great,” he said. “She’s just…after me.”
It took a minute for his meaning to get through my dense head. “Ohhhh, okaaaay!” I said. I laughed.
He laughed a little too. “It’s not funny!” he said through his cute grin. “That doesn’t bother you?”
“It would,” I said. “But from your reaction, I don’t think I have much to worry about.”
“You don’t,” he said.
“Why don’t I?” I asked him. “She’s gorgeous!”
He shook his head. “She is, but she has an idea that I can’t go along with.”
“IS she a dominatrix?” I asked. “I mean her shoes…”
“No,” he said. “She wants me and Seung-hyun at the same time.”
The image came to me immediately, and I giggled. The thought actually did bother me a little.
“Stop laughing! It’s not funny. And it’s NOT going to happen. EVER!” he said.
“Elizabeth!” I heard from across the pool. It was Seung-hyun. “Come over here.”
I turned to Ji-Yong. “Come with me,” I said.
“Please don’t make me,” he said.
“If you go, I can establish my ownership,” I told him.
“Ownership? I think you have that backwards,” he said and cocked his head to the side with a crooked grin.
“If you say so,” I said. “Come on. I’ll protect you.”
He stood up. “Oh, alright. But you’re going to regret it.” Then I heard him mumble under his breath, “Not as much as me.”
We went over to where Seung-hyun sat with Savannah. He stood when we approached and he had a giant grin on his face.
“Elizabeth, I would like for you to meet my friend, Savannah,” he said.
She stood to shake my hand, and in her shoes, she was about two inches taller than me. “Elizabeth! Give me a hug!” She pulled me into a bear hug. “You are just as cute in person!”
“You know me?” I said. NOW I was starstruck.
“Of course! I watched every episode of Gold and Diamonds. You were my favorite! It’s very exciting to meet you!” she said.
“I was telling Ji-Yong how excited I was to meet you! I never imagined someone like you would know me,” I said.
She grabbed Seung-hyun by the arm. “Someone like me? How should I take that, Tabi?”
“That’s a compliment,” he said and smiled at me. “She thinks highly of you.”
I could tell she was from Georgia by her slight southern accent. She must live there, but she wasn’t born there, I thought.
“It’s very much a compliment,” I said. “I have to admit that I’m a little starstruck.”
“By me?” she said and laughed. “I’m a nobody. I know how to put furniture in a room is all. But you! You make people beautiful. You give them confidence and make them feel special.”
“You are both brilliant!” said Seung-hyun. It was obvious he was trying to break up the butt kissing party Savannah and I had going. “I think it’s time to get this party started, now that the party is here,” he said indicating Savannah.
She leaned around me, “Hi Ji-Yong. Don’t think I didn’t see you back there.”
“Hi, Savannah,” he said and wrapped his arm around my middle.
I turned and wrapped both of my arms around him. “Doesn’t he look absolutely delicious tonight?” I asked her.
“He always looks delicious,” she said looking him up and down. And up and down.
“Yes he does,” I said. “Almost as delicious as he tastes.”
Ji-Yong’s eyes were huge. He was giving me a Hush! look but I couldn’t help myself.
She grabbed my free arm as we walked over to the shisha pipe and said, “Please tell me that you have nibbled those tattoos.”
“Every single one,” I whispered back.
“Oh we are going to talk!” she said and took a seat on the pillow next to Seung-hyun.
I could tell that I was going to like her very much.
Ji-Yong sat on the opposite side and pulled me down onto his pillow. “What was THAT?” he whispered loudly.
“That was staking my claim,” I said.
“I don’t understand women,” he said.
“Don’t try,” I whispered.
Seung-hyun took one of the hoses and drew in a big breath. I watched as everyone else did the same. I noticed that Gong Yoo was staring at me. When our eyes met, he smiled at me and winked. I gave him a tentative smile back.
After Ji-Yong was done, he handed his to me. I had no idea what to do. He let out his breath, and said, “Just breathe it in like you would take a big breath.”
I had expected the air to be hot, but it wasn’t. It was actually cold. I looked closer and could see ice in one chamber of the pipe. I drew in another breath and it made me cough.
Ji-Yong took it away from me. “Go slow with this stuff. It’s not normal shisha. I don’t know what it’s going to do to you.”
We took turns for about fifteen minutes. That seemed to be long enough for whatever was in Seung-hyun’s special tobacco to get into our bloodstream.
All of a sudden, I really wanted to touch Ji-Yong. All over. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, and run my hands down the silky heat of his back. I NEEDED to take off his pants. His clothes were irritating me.
He stood up and said, “I need water.” Then he went into the house.
A hand reached down for me to take. I didn’t pay attention to who the hand belonged to. It didn’t seem to matter. I put my hand in that strange hand and let the person lift me up. I was being pulled over to the pool. I knew this person, but I couldn’t remember his name. He slipped into the water and reached his arms up to me. I sat on the side of the pool and let him pull me in. He held me up, and I wrapped my legs around him.
I remembered. It was Yoo. He settled himself against the wall of the pool. “Let go and float,” he said.
With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I let go of his neck and allowed the rest of my body to float on top of the water. I closed my eyes. It felt like I was half on earth and half in the atmosphere. For a moment, I saw Seung-hyun standing over us and he was talking, but I couldn’t hear him. All I heard was bubbles from the water and music that was muted.
Yoo began to run his hands over my thighs, and then upwards until he was stroking my sides and my stomach under my dress. The dress was floating around me in the water. When it floated over my skin it tickled, but in a wonderful way. Everything felt good. Evey touch seemed like a new sensation as if I was a newborn baby. Nothing was off limits. The ache in my chest was gone. My brain felt foggy, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything if I tried.
All of a sudden, someone new was behind me. This person pulled me away from Yoo, and swirled me around to face them. It was Ji-Yong. He was saying things, but his words weren’t connecting. They weren’t making sense. I heard Yoo or it could have been You. I also heard him say Me and Mine and Don’t. There were some other words, but they disappeared like haze on hot asphalt. He helped me onto the ladder and pushed me up and out of the pool. I felt heavy. My dress stuck to me, so I unbuttoned it and took it off. When he was finally out, I went to work taking off his sweater. It was soaked so it was hard to remove, but he helped me. When I tried to unbutton his pants, he took my hands in his, and said something else that I didn’t get. He put his arm around my wrist and pulled me behind him into the house. All the way there, hands were reaching out to me, touching my body and my hair.
He took me into a room that I didn’t recognize. That didn’t mean that I hadn’t been in it before. I wasn’t recognizing anything. It didn’t even occur to me that I was walking around in my skimpy underwear in front of a bunch of strangers. It must have occurred to Ji-Yong, because he found a robe, and wrapped it around me. I loved it. It was silky and made my body feel like I was covered in butterfly wings.
My foggy brain was getting worse instead of better. Everything that I was experiencing was disconnected. I was inside of a dream that didn’t hold together in any way. I saw Ji-Yong and then Seung-hyun. I was walking through a hallway. I saw Savannah who was also in her underwear. I thought that she must have been in the pool. I laid in a bed that was covered in white silk sheets. I was thinking that they were so white that they were blinding. The whiteness flew around the room. It reminded me of a storm of doves. In the whiteness I saw Yoo’s face. His beautiful dark hands surrounded my head and then he was kissing me. His tongue searched my mouth for a moment and then it was gone. The whiteness was gone and then replaced by darkness. I became afraid. I thought I had gone blind. I rubbed my eyes.
In the darkness, I heard Seung-hyuns voice by my ear say, “It’s okay. You are in a safe place.” I was laying in a bed again and this time the light returned, but it was dim. I was beside Seung-hyun. We were both in our underwear. He was laying on his stomach, but facing me. He was still talking, but I didn’t hear the words. Arms came up from behind me and pulled me back against warm skin. I knew it was my Ji-Yong because I could see his tattoos.
The three of us were going to sleep in the same bed and all of a sudden it was funny to me. I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. I asked Seung-hyun, “Isn’t this strange to you?”
I saw his lips form the word “What?”
“The three of us in bed together,” I said.
“No,” he said and smiled at me.
I rolled over to face Ji-Yong. His eyes were closed. It made me feel sleepy to look at him, so I closed my eyes and then I was asleep.
When my eyes opened, I was still cloudy headed. Someone was shaking me awake. When I looked up, I was looking into the eyes of Zico.
My body flooded with happiness. “I didn’t know you came to this party,” I said. I’m sure my words were slurred.
“Come with me,” he said. I scooted down out of Ji-Yong’s arms and to the bottom of the bed. Zico put a jacket around me. I followed him until I was outside. The air was cooler than it had been. I became very interested in the feel of the soft paving stones against the bottom of my feet. That’s when Zico picked me up and carried me. I imagined I was flying. Looking up into his face, I said, “I think I became a butterfly.”
“You’ve always been a butterfly,” he said. He sat me back on my feet and helped me sit down in his car.
I must have fallen asleep in the car. The next thought I had was of floating because of the movement of an elevator. Then I was in bed again, but this time, the only one there was Zico. It was dark except for the moonlight flooding in the window, and I could see tattoos on skin, but these were different. These were Zico’s.
I wanted nothing more than to run my finger over those dark lines. So I did.
Zico flexed and stretched and rolled over to face me. His eyes opened slowly, and he said, “You shouldn’t touch me right now.”
Those words meant nothing to me. I reached out to trace the letters across his chest, but he gently took my hand in his.
“If you touch me, I’m going to want to touch you,” he said.
I scooted over closer to him, and said, “Touch me.”
“I can’t do that. Not while you are under the influence,” he said.
“I’m not drunk, silly boy,” I said and put my forehead against his chest.
He froze. “Please don’t do this to me, Elizabeth.”
I stuck my tongue out and ran it slowly across his nipple. It tickled my tongue.
He rolled me over onto my back in a rush and held my hands against the bed by my head. He growled, “Stop it! I know this isn’t your fault, so I’m not mad. I want to stay in here with you, but if you don’t go to sleep, I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”
I held my head up and flicked my tongue across his lips.
He jumped away from me, and got out of the bed. “That’s it! Stay here and go to sleep. I mean it!” He grabbed a pillow and left the room.
I watched shadows of leaves on the ceiling for awhile, and then I was finally asleep.
The next coherent thought that I had was that my head hurt so bad that I wished it would fall off. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I laid there and concentrated on each pound of my head and how it matched my heart beat. Then, feeling like a dumb ass, I realized that the pounding was the pulse in my head so it WAS my heartbeat. My belly growled. My mouth was dry and sticky. My muscles kind of ached. I also had to pee.
I opened my eyes to bright sunlight and I couldn’t see anything. I sat up very slowly and squeezed my eyes shut against the pain. When it became bearable, I opened my eyes. I looked around. I had no idea where I was. NOTHING was familiar.
It has to be one of Seung-hyun’s bedrooms right? Zico was right when he said he had a lot of bedrooms. I hope all of those other people went home, I thought.
I didn’t realize that I was only wearing my underwear until I stood up. Ohhh. This can only be a bad thing. I wish I could remember last night. Never again Seung-hyun. I’m done with your parties. This lifestyle isn’t for me.
I wound the sheet around me and went through the door that looked like it would lead to a bathroom. It did. Something about this bathroom was familiar, but I had no idea what. I took care of things, and then went to find the hallway. If I could get to the hall then I could find my way back to Seung-hyun’s room.
But what if there are a bunch of naked people in bed with him? I thought.
I decided to look for the closet room. I would get dressed and then go to the kitchen. I needed to find Ji-Yong. I knew he was here somewhere.
I found the hallway, and I did recognize it, but it wasn’t the hallway I had expected. Making my way into the living room, I was completely confused.
How in the world did I get here?
Zico was asleep on his belly on the couch. I scratched my head and tried to remember but I couldn’t.
Tiptoeing into the kitchen, I hoped there was some kind of food in the refrigerator. There wasn’t. I didn’t think that Zico had been back here since the day that he showed it to me.
So, once again I was in a predicament. I was stuck in a place with no food and no clothes. I was starving, and I couldn’t leave. I didn’t even have my phone so I couldn’t call Kim Hwan to come and get me.
I was a little afraid of what would happen when Zico woke up. He was going to be a bear, and I had no answers.
He had to have brought me here. But….how did I end up with him from Seung-hyun’s house?
I was looking out the window at the river, lost in thought, when I heard, “Ay.” I jumped.
I turned to see him getting off of the couch and stretching. His hair was sticking out in every direction, and his eyes were swollen. I didn’t know if he didn’t sleep well or if he had cried before he went to sleep.
“Hi,” I said, but it came out broken. My mouth was still dry.
He came over to where I stood. He reached out to touch my arm and I flinched. I didn’t know why. It just happened.
He pulled his hand back. “Are you afraid of me?”
I shook my head. “No! Of course not,” I said.
He pulled me into a hug. “Please, please don’t ever be afraid of me. I would never hurt you. EVER!”
“I know that,” I said against his chest. Being in his arms was making my heart hurt more than my head. He was wrong that he would never hurt me.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, still holding onto me.
I nodded. I could swear that I could feel my brain rattling around and it hurt!
“I’m going to shower and order food,” he said. He let go and started to walk toward the hall, but then turned back. “You know what? Why waste the hot water? Come on.” He grabbed the sheet I was wearing and pulled me into the bathroom with him.
I was resistant so he ended up undressing me like a child. I felt shy. I had seen him naked many times. I had touched every part of his body. I didn’t know why it felt different. I now felt like I was betraying Ji-Yong.
He called and ordered the food, and then pulled me into the shower. I stood there and let him do everything. He washed my hair and my body without being sexual at all. He was finally able to see all of the damage that was done by Seung-hyun when he bit me and how far down the bites went. He looked at the marks for a long time.
I helped him to wash when it was his turn. He washed his hair while I took care of his body. I missed his body like crazy.
He wrapped me in a towel and then himself, and then he left the room. When he came back, he had the bag that I had packed the first night that we had come here.
“Oh, thank God!” I said. “I thought I was going to have to wear a towel around.” I dug through and found something to put on.
He put on the clothes that he had come here in.
We did everything in silence. I thought Zico was working through what he wanted to say, and I was right.
The food came, and we sat across from each other at the table. He served us both, and we continued to eat in silence. I had so many questions, but it just didn’t seem like the right time.
All of a sudden, he threw his chopsticks down and got up from the table to pace around. I realized that he was crying.
“Zico? Are you okay?” My voice was shaky.
He came back over to the table. “Why do you still sound like you are afraid of me?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not afraid of you,” I said.
“Did they say something to scare you? To keep you away from me?” he asked. He was definitely crying.
I shook my head. I couldn’t look at him.
“I’ve been going crazy! I’ve called and left a thousand messages. Did you change phones or numbers?” he asked.
I shook my head again. Quietly I said, “I haven’t charged my phone for a couple of days.”
“So it’s you. You are avoiding me,” he said. “I guess you were having too much fun out shopping with your new boyfriend to take a call from your boss.”
I didn’t answer. He kept pacing.
“I don’t know what else to do,” he said. “I try so hard to keep you safe. I have other things to do you know! I have a job that takes a lot of time, and I have an absent designer which makes my job a lot harder!”
“Zico?”
“WHAT?!” He yelled and spun to face me.
“How did I get here?” I asked.
“You are lucky that I was paying attention to my social media accounts last night! Someone at that party took pictures and posted them. I saw you with your legs wrapped around some strange guy in the pool, among other things.”
“I wonder if Seung-hyun knew that someone was taking pictures,” I said.
“I don’t care! I’m glad they were. I came over there, and found you and brought you home. People were laying everywhere drugged and half dressed. I found you between Seung-hyun and Ji-Yong in the bedroom, and I don’t want to know what happened before I got there. I NEVER WANT TO KNOW! DO YOU GOT THAT?!!” he was yelling again. I could remember when that was the status quo with us.
“I don’t remember what happened,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS?” he said. Then he stopped pacing and closed his eyes. He was collecting himself because his anger was starting to flare up. “Don’t you realize what is going to happen to you? Clearly these people don’t care what happens to you.”
“I don’t know why I did it,” I said. “I’ve been having a hard time dealing with losing you, and I thought maybe if I could forget for a little while, the pain would go away.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know what to do anymore. So, I’m going to do the only thing I know to do. I don’t care if you don’t like it. I don’t care if they don’t like it. I’m not going to stand by and watch you become one of them.”
He came over to where I sat and got down on his knees. He laid his head in my lap and wrapped his arms around my legs.
“You are going to hate me, but I can’t care about that. All I care is that you don’t end up addicted to something and being used by all of those assholes. Look at what Seung-hyun did to you. I don’t care if it was a dream. He’s dangerous! He could kill you in your sleep. And all of his so called friends see you as a party favor. Do you know what they call it when Korean men fuck white girls? They call it riding the white horse. It’s something they go and brag about. They collect horses,” he said and looked up at me. “Don’t you get it? No one loves you like I do. No one is going to take care of you like I do. Not even Ji-Yong. If he cared for you, he wouldn’t have had you anywhere near that party.”
Every time that Zico talked about them, I got confused. I just couldn’t see them the way that he said they were. He made sense though. He was right that he never would have let me go to parties like the ones that Seung-hyun gives, and he would definitely never give other men an opportunity to do anything to me. Why is Ji-Yong okay with that? Does he trust Seung-hyun that much or does he just not care?
“I’m not letting you leave here,” said Zico.
“What does that mean exactly?” I asked.
“It means that you are staying here and staying safe,” he said.
“You can’t just make me stay here. That’s kidnapping,” I said.
“Then consider yourself kidnapped,” he said.
It was so Noisy and then One by One They all Leave...
Zico was gone the next morning when I woke up, but he had sent up breakfast, which was waiting for me in the sitting area. I was quite hungry so I ate everything on the tray. I knew that he probably wanted me to stay there, but I had too many things to do. The first thing was to go home and collect myself. I felt all out of sorts. My brain was confused, and I knew that if I went home where I could change into my clothes and be around things that were familiar, I would be able to decide what to do next.
My first obstacle was my state of dress. I was still wearing T.O.P.’s t-shirt, and I didn’t have any clothes here to wear. It took me a few minutes, but I came up with an idea. Calling down to the front desk, I asked them to put me through to Mya’s room. She was Zico’s make-up artist. It rang a few times.
She answered in Korean.
“Hi, Mya?”
“Yes?” she said.
“Hi! This is Elizabeth. I have a favor to ask of you,” I said.
“Oh, hi! I thought that you had gone back to America,” she said.
“No. No I’m still here. Is there any way that you could find some clothes for me to wear?”
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah. It’s a long weird story,” I said.
“It usually is with you,” she said. I heard her suck in her breath, because she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“Usually,” I said. “I need to get back to my apartment, but I don’t have any clothes here to wear. Could you find something for me? I’ll get them right back to you.”
“I’m pretty sure that I don’t have anything that will fit you, but my sister is visiting me. She might have something. She’s a pretty big girl.” Another sucking in of breath.
“I would really appreciate it,” I said and ignored her insults. I knew that was Mya’s way. She was a little bit shallow, and judgmental. And she was right. I am a chubby girl. Also, Korean girls were so tiny. “Like I said, I’ll get them back to you. Today if you would like.”
I listened as she talked to her sister in Korean. Coming back on, she said, “She would be happy to let you borrow something,” she said.
“Tell her thank you, and that she is a life saver!” I said.
“Are you in your old room?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Alright. I’ll have them sent up to you,” she said.
“Thank you again, Mya,” I said and we hung up.
Problem number one solved. Now, I bet obstacle number two is waiting right outside my door.
I looked out the peep hole, and all I could see was blackness. Opening the door, I ran into a wall. A giant wall that I found out was called, Park Sungho.
Where does Korea find these giants? Do they grow them just to create problems for me?
I told him that a package was going to be delivered shortly. He said that he would accept it for me.
I closed the door, and went right back to the phone. I called the front desk again, and asked if they could call Kim Hwan for me. They did.
He also answered in Korean.
“Kim Hwan? This is Elizabeth, I said.
“I am so glad to hear from you. Are you okay? I’ve been so worried,” he said.
“I’m very sorry,” I said. “I’ll explain everything if you will come to get me.”
“I will happily come to get you, Miss Elizabeth. Where are you?”
I told him where to find me, and he said he would be here in just a few minutes.
Problem number two solved, I thought.
Park Sungho knocked on the door, and gave me the bag of clothes.
I hurriedly put them on, and when Kim Hwan came to the door, I was ready to go. I was surprised to see Park Sungho getting on the elevator and leaving.
“How did you do that?” I asked.
Kim Hwan smiled. “We are very good friends. I told him that I am your usual bodyguard, and that I was here to take you home.”
“Oh, so the truth. Who would have thought of that?” I asked and laughed.
“It’s always the best way, Miss Elizabeth,” he said.
Sighing, I said, “I really want to go home.”
Turning from the door, he said, “After you.”
I told Kim Hwan the whole story on the way back to my apartment. He would smile every now and then, but mostly he shook his head. I knew he didn’t approve of most of my life, but he never said anything.
Walking into my apartment felt like coming home after being on an extended vacation. I walked down to the couch and rolled over the top, bouncing into the seat. I laid there, my left arm and leg hanging over the edge, and enjoyed being alone and in my own element. I knew where everything was here. I could make messes, and walk around naked, and not worry about crazy hair or hairy legs. It was my little piece of Korea where I could just be myself, and not worry about what anyone else thought.
At least that was what I thought. I noticed a bottle of Soju on my coffee table. I sat up quickly, and stared at it. I tried to remember the last time I was here, and how that could have been left there. I couldn’t remember. It was all a blur.
Getting up and looking around, I started to notice some other things too. There was a towel laying on the kitchen table. When I touched it, it was a little damp. There were dishes in the sink. In the bathroom, a strange toothbrush was on my sink. That’s when I knew it was time to leave and get Kim Hwan.
Going toward the door, I saw the strange pair of shoes by the door. I don’t know how I missed those before, I thought. My heart started pounding. That meant whoever had been using my apartment was here now.
That’s when the bedroom door opened and I was confronted with my intruder. He had bright red hair and a swollen black eye.
“Ji-Yong?” was all I managed to get out before he took three big strides and put his arms around me. He hugged me so tight that I couldn’t breathe.
He just kept saying, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”
I put my arms around him when I was able to get them free, and just held him. I didn’t know why, but being in his arms felt much different than being held by Zico. His hugs felt like hugs. Zico’s hugs felt like being swallowed by a beast. You were consumed by him.
Instead of letting go, he laid his head on my shoulder, and squeezed tighter.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “I’m so not okay.”
I pushed against him to get him to let go. His skin was hot. He felt like he had a fever.
“Let’s go sit over here and talk,” I said.
He reluctantly let go and I pulled him over to the couch.
He looked terrible. He was pale with deep dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he had been crying. His swollen eye was every shade of purple and worrisome. I laid back into the corner of the couch, and pulled his head down into my lap while he stretched out. I ran my fingers through his hair. He actually felt way too hot. He definitely had a fever. I also noticed a very large bruise across his lower back. It was more red than purple, and it looked really swollen.
“Did you stay here last night?” I asked.
“I’ve stayed here every night,” he said. “I wanted to come to Hyung’s house but he wouldn’t let me.”
“That was my fault,” I said.
He sat up all of a sudden and said, “No! Nothing is your fault. We put you in the middle, and it wasn’t fair.”
“Listen to me,” I said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are the most innocent person in this whole crazy thing. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in my weird life.”
He was shaking his head. “You don’t know everything.”
“Neither do you,” I said.
“I know way more than you think,” he said.
I didn’t know if I wanted to know anymore, but all of these secrets had messed up everything. Maybe it’s better if everything comes out.
“Then let’s be honest with each other,” I said.
He nodded and sat back on the couch. “I knew that you weren’t in love with me like I am with you. I knew you still wanted Woo Jiho,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I said. It came out in almost a whisper. This was going to be hard.
“I knew he wanted you back too. I did some things that I shouldn’t have to make sure that didn’t happen,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I said. I sounded like a little child and I hated it.
“I don’t want to tell you,” he said.
“I won’t be mad. I did bad things too,” I said. “And I’m pretty sure that mine were worse.”
“Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked.
“I promise,” I said. I couldn’t ask the same because I knew my secrets had to be worse than anything he could have done.
“Okay,” he said. He was stalling. “I…went through your phone all of the time and deleted texts and calls from him. Also, from any of his members.”
“That’s it?” I asked. I was expecting something a little worse than that.
“No, that’s not all. I took you to get that tattoo to mark you.” He turned his hand over, and on his wrist was a tiny purple butterfly that matched mine. “I don’t know if you noticed, but the design in the wings are a G and a D. Mine is an E and a G.”
I looked closer and it was hard to tell, but it could be letters.
“Okay,” I said. “That’s okay.”
“Jiho sent you flowers. Twice. I sent them back,” he said. “Sometimes when he would text, I would text back and tell him to go to hell. He always knew it was me though. He would text back that I should stay off of your phone.”
“None of those things are that bad, Ji-Yong,” I said.
“I stole gigs from him,” he said.
“If they could be stolen, then he didn’t deserve them,” I said. “Seems like that is just part of the business.”
When it was my turn to tell my secrets, I chickened out. I was right. Mine were so much worse. I skirted the facts.
“Zico and I met a few times,” I said. “You were right. He was here the night that everything blew up. Nothing happened but a nap. But he was in the bedroom. He also stayed that night that he was drinking.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I already know everything. Woo Jiho told me when we were in jail together.”
I wondered how detailed he had gotten.
“What all did he say?” I asked.
“We took turns telling each other things to hurt the other. I didn’t let him know, but I think he won,” he said.
“I’m so sorry, Ji-Yong. I never meant for you to get hurt. I really have tried to get over him,” I said. I was glad that I didn’t have to tell him what we had done.
“I made the biggest mistake of all,” he said.
“I think it was all down to unfortunate timing,” I said.
“More than you know,” he said. “I had the opportunity to let you be my costumer when that television show was looking for someone. I was offered, and I turned it down. Then when I met you, I was sorry that I hadn’t accepted. It was too late.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
“Yeah,” he said. “When we talked, I was fascinated. When you said that you didn’t know who I was, I knew I had to get to know you. American’s don’t seem to be as obsessed with celebrity as Koreans.”
“No, that’s just me,” I said. “They are. Celebrity just seems different here. More accessible.”
“That’s just because you got your foot in the door,” he said. “It’s not accessible to everyone.”
“So, I should be more starstruck than I am?” I said and smiled.
“A lot more,” he said and actually laughed. “You are going to parties with huge stars. And then getting drunk and making yourself the center of attention. Not everyone could pull that off.”
“That’s not a good thing, Ji-Yong!” I said.
“You get a pass. You’re an American so you don’t know any better,” he said.
My mouth fell open in shock. “Is that what everyone thinks?”
He laughed. “Pretty much,” he said. “I guess you missed all of the news about our fight didn’t you?”
“I didn’t even think about it,” I said. “Was it bad?”
“It still is. I figured Seung-hyun wouldn’t tell you,” he said.
That’s the moment when all hell broke loose. Again.
Ji-Yong bent over and cried out in pain, and then he jumped up and ran to the bathroom.
I didn’t know what had happened or what I should do. Running over to the door, I heard him vomiting over and over. It seemed like it would never stop.
“Ji-Yong? Are you okay?” I knew it was a stupid question when I asked it, but I was nervous and I didn’t know what to do.
The vomiting stopped as quickly as it had begun. I heard a thump on the floor.
“Ji-Yong?”
No answer.
“JI-YONG?” I yelled louder.
Still no answer.
“JI-YONG! IF YOU DON’T ANSWER, I’M COMING IN THERE!”
Nothing.
I slowly opened the door and found him, unconscious but breathing, on the floor. Panicking, I ran over to sit by him. I put my hand on his chest and shook him gently. He was so hot that I could feel the heat coming from him before I touched him. I grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with cold water. I used it to wash his face, and then I folded it and laid it over his forehead.
I ran to the bedroom to get my phone. I found it on my vanity, and I called 119 with shaking hands. I stayed on the phone with the english interpreter until the paramedics got there. He was still unconscious when they took him away, and they said I wasn’t going to be able to ride with him. I immediately called Kim Hwan, and he said he was turning around to come back to get me.
When it was finally quiet in my apartment, I broke down. I burst out crying and fell to my knees. Huge sobs came from deep inside of me. After a few minutes, I didn’t have any tears left. I had just enough time to change my clothes and brush my hair when Kim Hwan texted me that he was there.
At the hospital, they wouldn’t tell me anything, but said that I could wait and someone would come and talk to me. I found more tears.
I had brought Ji-Yong’s cell phone with me, but I didn’t know his password. I tried 1,2,3,4 but that didn’t work. I tried his birthday and that wasn’t it. Finally, I got around to trying my birthday because I didn’t know what else to try and it worked!
Silly boy!
I found the number for Seung-hyun and called him.
“He answered with, “The answer is still no.”
“Seung-hyun?”
“Elizabeth? My God! I guess you found Ji-Yong. Are you okay?” he asked.
“No, I’m not,” I said.
“What? Why? Why are you calling on Ji-Yong’s phone? What’s going on?” He sounded worried.
“Seung-hyun, I need you to come to the hospital. Something is wrong with Ji-Yong,” I said.
I could hear him moving around and breathing hard. “Where in the hospital?” he asked.
“Emergency,” I said.
“Don’t you move! I’ll be right there!” Then he hung up.
I had no intention of going anywhere. Kim Hwan reached down and took my hand. He squeezed it, and for some reason, I did feel a little better. I felt less like I was falling over the edge of a deep dark hole.
Looking at my own phone, I knew that with every minute, I was putting off calling Zico. He was going to be upset that I left, and even more upset that I was here waiting for Ji-Yong. I decided to send a text. Maybe a miracle will happen and he won’t call me.
Elizabeth: Jiho, I wanted to let you know that I am okay. Something happened to Ji-Yong and I’m at the hospital waiting to find out what is going on. Don’t worry about me. Seung-hyun is coming up to help me. I’ll call you later to fill you in.
I hit send, squeezed my eyes shut, and hoped against hope that he would let me deal with this on my own.
Bzzzz…bzzzz…bzzzz…
Dammit Zico!
I considered hitting ignore, but he would just come up here in a fury, and cause trouble. I hit answer.
“Jiho,” I said. “I told you that I was going to call you later.”
“THE HELL IF I’M GOING TO LET YOU AROUND THAT LUNATIC AGAIN!” he said. He sounded more than furious. “WHERE ARE YOU EXACTLY?”
“I’m at the hospital, but I have Kim Hwan…” I started to say when he interrupted.
“WHERE IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL?”
“Emergency,” I said. “Please, please, please don’t come up here and cause trouble, Zico.”
“Elizabeth, I’M NOT THE ONE WHO IS TROUBLE!” I could tell that he was fighting to calm himself down. “Listen! I’m not going to cause trouble. BUT if he says ANYTHING I don’t like, we are leaving! I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” he said and hung up on me.
I squeezed Kim Hwan’s hand and waited for the alpha macho madness to begin.
Seung-hyun came in first. He must have been out because he was dressed in a crisp blue suit. He hugged me as Kim Hwan watched with a bit of suspicion.
“I’m so sorry Seung-hyun,” I said. “I hate that I got you mixed up in any of this.”
“Don’t you dare! You have nothing to apologize for! There are a lot of misunderstandings. That’s all,” he said.
“I’m still sorry,” I said.
“No more of that! I’ve contacted Ji-Yong’s family and they should be here shortly. Have you heard anything?” he asked.
I sat down and indicated the seat beside me for Seung-hyun to sit in. “No, they said someone would come out and talk to us, but no one has come out yet,” I said.
Ji-Yong’s family came in then. I had never met them, and I didn’t want this to be how we were first introduced. “Please don’t tell them who I am, Seung-huyun. Just tell them that I’m a friend.”
He nodded and stood to greet them. They all went to the desk together to ask about Ji-Yong, and they must have been told to wait because they went to the other side of the room to sit together.
Zico came in next. He found me immediately and came over to sit beside me. He gave Seung-hyun several mean glances, which he completely ignored. He didn’t even look our way.
“So, what is going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know yet,” I said.
“What happened to him?” he asked.
I was surprised at the concern. “He had a really high fever, and then he started being sick. He just kept throwing up and then he passed out.”
“Where was this?” he asked.
“At my apartment,” I said.
He grabbed my hand and squeezed a little too hard. I thought that might have been on purpose. “What was he doing there?” he asked through gritted teeth. “What were YOU doing there?”
“I went to change, and well, I live there,” I said.
“Not for long,” he said.
I gave him a look, but he didn’t look at me.
“And…?” he said.
“And that’s it. I wanted to be home,” I said.
“No… Why was he there?” he asked.
“Oh, he was already there when I got there,” I said. “I think he was staying there while I was away.”
He started shaking his head and rubbing his eyes with his thumb and finger. He was trying to contain his anger.
“Well,” he finally said, “That’s going to change in the next couple of days.”
“Oh?” What does that mean?” I asked.
“That means you are coming home,” he said.
I bit my bottom lip. I am NOT going to start an argument here! “I’m sure that Alicia is going to love that. Maybe we can collab on a fashion line,” I said sarcastically.
“I don’t give an unholy fuck what Alicia thinks. That bitch ruined my life. If she wants to live in my house, she will do it my way,” he said.
“What about me?” I said. “Why do I have to do it your way?”
“Because your way doesn’t work. It makes me unhappy,” he said. “It makes you unhappy too.”
That’s when the doctor decided to make his appearance. He passed us and went to Ji-Yong’s family. He was speaking softly in Korean.
“What is he saying, Jiho?” I asked. I was afraid because the doctor was being so gentle. That usually meant something really bad was going on.
“He said he has a renal haematoma,” he said.
“What’s that?” I asked.
Zico stood up and pulled me over to where they were talking. They gave us a strange look, but Zico didn’t seem to care. The doctor kept talking and when he was done, he turned to us. Zico introduced us as friends of Ji-Yong, and then asked him a question in Korean. The doctor looked down and shook his head slightly. Then he put his hand on Zico’s shoulder and said something I couldn’t understand.
Why haven’t I learned Korean by now? I thought to myself in aggravation.
The family followed the doctor through the door but Zico took me back to the seats. Seung-hyun followed us.
“But… but… why aren’t we able to go in?” I asked.
We sat down where we had sat before and he patted my hand as he held it. “Ji-Yong isn’t doing very well so they are letting the family go back to be with him. We can go in a little while,” he said.
That really scared me. I turned in my seat to face him. “What? Why? What does that mean? He’s going to be okay isn’t he?” I started to cry.
Seung-hyun spoke up. “It’s okay Elizabeth. He’s going to be just fine. That boy is really strong, No beat down by this punk is going to stop him.”
Zico just looked down guiltily.
“What does he mean, Zico?” I asked. “What is a renal haematoma?”
Seung-hyun answered again. “He has a bruised kidney. There is a little tear and it’s bleeding a little. It gave him an infection because he is too hard headed to bring himself to the hospital.”
“Was that from the fight?” I asked again to Zico.
He finally looked up at me. “Yeah. I remember hitting him in the back. It’s my fault,” he said. “I remember when I hit him, he went down on one knee and didn’t get up for a minute. Then he stood up, and punched me in the face. I didn’t know he was hurt that bad.”
“It’s not just your fault Woo Jiho,” said Seung-hyun.
“It’s my fault too,” I said.
“That’s not what I meant, little one,” he said. Zico gave him a strange look. “It was just as much Ji-Yong’s fault as it was Jiho’s. He went there looking for a fight, and he got one.”
I couldn’t help but cry even harder. “It is my fault Seung-hyun! I never should have come to Korea. I never should have gotten personal with anyone. I was here to do a job. I should have done my job and went home.”
Zico grabbed my face by the chin and jerked it toward him. “Don’t you ever let me hear you say that again! Seung-hyun is right! It’s mine and Ji-Yong’s fault! Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me! Ji-Yong would probably say the same thing! This is NOT your fault! Do you understand me?”
I was still crying, but I nodded, and Zico pulled me against his shoulder.
The four of us just sat there in silence until an hour later when the family came out. His mom had been crying. His Dad came over to Seung-hyun and they talked for a minute. They left and Seung-hyun said that we could go back for a few minutes.
When we got to Ji-Yong’s room, Zico stood outside the door and looked in. Seung-hyun walked in first, but the first thing Ji-Yong said was, “Elizabeth! Are you okay?”
I went to him, and he reached for my hand. “Am I okay?,” I asked and started crying again. “No! You really scared me!”
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said and kissed my hand. “I”m okay. And I guess we should be glad that you came home when you did. I probably would have died.”
I hadn’t thought of that. “Are you really okay?”
He smiled and nodded. “Jiho can’t kill me that easily,” he said and laughed. “JIHO! Come in here!”
I could tell that he didn’t want to, but he came inside the door.
“Come on over here,” said Ji-Yong. Seung-hyun and I gave each other worried looks.
Zico walked over and stood on the other side of the bed.
“I guess you won this round,” said Ji-Yong and laughed.
“I’m really sorry,” said Zico.
“No you aren’t,” said Ji-Yong. “But that’s okay. It could have just as easily been you lying here.”
“You know better,” said Zico.
They both laughed.
I looked at Seung-hyun, and he stuck out his bottom lip and shrugged.
“But, I really am sorry. I didn’t want this,” said Zico.
“I know. I guess next time we will just have to sue each other,” said Ji-Yong.
“Ayy, you’ll win that one,” said Zico.
“You better believe it! I’ll take everything you have,” he said.
“You already tried that,” said Zico and looked at me.
Ji-Yong looked at me too.
“Listen,” said Zico. “She’s had a pretty hard day and you need to rest so I’m going to take her home. She’ll be back tomorrow.”
Ji-Yong was still looking at me. He kissed my hand again. “Promise that you’ll come back first thing?”
“I promise,” I said and kissed his head. He was considerably cooler than he had been before. I felt a lot better seeing him awake and smiling.
“No more crying!” he said.
I shook my head and smiled as I ran my hand through his hair.
Zico came over, took my arm, and pulled me toward the door.
“I love you, Elizabeth, “ yelled Ji-Yong. I rather thought he had done that more for Zico’s sake than mine.
“Love you too,” I yelled back. “Get some rest!”
Zico jerked me out the door.
We walked down the hall quickly as if Zico couldn’t get out of the hospital fast enough. When we passed Kim Hwan, he said, “You can have the rest of the day and tomorrow off!” and kept walking.
“Was that entirely necessary?” asked Zico when we reached the parking lot.
I was still trying to keep up. “I do love him, Jiho,” I said.
He stopped dead and turned and I ran into him. He glared down at me. “You do huh?”
“I do. Just not in the same way as I love you,” I said. “He’s been very good to me.”
“You think so huh?”
“He has. He told me about the things he had done to keep us apart. They didn’t work. I’m standing right here holding your hand aren’t I?” I asked.
He put his hand on the back of my head and gave me a deep kiss. Then, he turned and kept pulling me toward his car.
“You can love him like a brother,” he said.
Zico took me to my apartment and told me to pack a bag.
“Jiho, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said.
He didn’t say anything and just waited for me to unlock the door.
I opened the door. I had no intention of packing a bag when I had a perfectly good apartment to stay in. There was no reason for me to go and stay in that hotel knowing that Zico was right above me with Alicia. Going to the refrigerator, I grabbed a bottled water. “Want one?” I asked.
Zico was walking around the apartment looking at things. He just shook his head.
“What exactly are you looking for?” I asked and went to sit on the couch.
“Just looking,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be packing?”
“I’m not going over there, Jiho,” I said.
He came over and took both of my hands, gently pulling me to my feet. He took my face in his hands and said, “Please do as I ask and I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
I really didn’t want to, but I found it hard to look into his eyes and say no. “Alright,” I said and reluctantly went to pack a bag.
When I came out, he was standing in front of the windows. “Did you know that you can see the hotel from here? You could probably see into my room if you had a telescope,” he said.
“Hmm, no. I didn’t realize that,” I lied.
He turned and smiled. “I could have been spying on you this whole time, and I didn’t even know it,” he said.
Walking over to him and dropping my bag, I said, “Maybe you should pay more attention.”
He kissed my forehead.
“I hope Alicia doesn’t know that,” I said.
“As far as I know,” he said picking up my bag, “she doesn’t know where you live.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” I said.
“Come on,” he said. “I’m really excited to show you something. I did a thing.”
Oh no, I thought. Sometimes Zico’s ‘things’ turned out to be something I really didn’t need in my life.
I sighed. “Okay, but I’m telling you right now, if you think that I’m staying anywhere near Alicia, you had better think again!”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said.
When Zico was driving, you were never sure if you were going to make it to your destination or not. It was a toss up. He didn’t know the meaning of the word slow, or any of the traffic laws it seemed. Or he just didn’t think that they pertained to him. He did seem to have this weird god complex sometimes. Okay. Most of the time. But that’s what makes him Zico instead of Jiho.
Thank goodness we only drove for about ten minutes when he pulled into the parking lot of a building I didn’t recognize.
“We aren’t going to meet someone are we?” I asked. “I’m really tired, Jiho. I’m not up to being hospitable right now.”
“No. We aren’t meeting anyone. I have gift for you. Two actually,” he said.
“Jiho! You don’t have to give me anything,” I said as he helped me out of the car.
“Well, one of these is a selfish gift, and it’s a gift for me too,” he said.
Getting into the elevator, Zico put a key into a keyhole that was over the buttons and the elevator began to move.
“Where are we?” I asked looking up at him.
He started smiling. “You’ll see,” he said.
When we reached the top, the doors opened to a bright corridor. There was a set of Japanese looking paper doors and a little rack for shoes. On the bottom shelf was a row of different colored house slippers. We changed our shoes and then Zico asked, “Are you ready?”
Since I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know if I was ready. “I’m probably not,” I said. “But let’s do it anyway.”
He opened the sliding doors. I wasn’t ready.
Zico didn’t say anything, but he had a little boy grin on his face that screamed excitement. His eyes twinkled, and they never left my face. I knew he was looking for a certain reaction from me, but I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking at.
I walked into a huge luxury apartment. It was bright and gorgeous. The entire front wall was floor to ceiling windows something like mine, but bigger and they faced the river. The walls were all white and the floor was a light colored wood. The furniture was also white with accents of gray. A gray rug, gray pillows, and purple flowers on the coffee table. A television covered one whole wall, and a staircase wound out of sight.
“Who’s apartment is this, Jiho?” I asked.
“Come here,” he said and took me around the corner where there was a long wooden dinner table. Beyond that was a kitchen that seemed to have every gadget that you could imagine. We went past the long island and into a hallway. On one side was a big master bedroom with a king sized bed. It wasn’t an Alaskan king, but it was still bigger than a person needed. There was a smaller bedroom across the hall. The next room was a small library with at least ten empty bookcases. There was a fireplace and two very comfortable looking chairs. On the other side was an office. It had a desk on either side of the room that faced each other. The bathroom was at the end. It was actually three rooms in one. There was a section for the shower that took up a whole wall and was enclosed by glass. Another section had a giant jacuzzi tub, and the third section was a closet. Each side was big enough to hold enough clothes for a family instead of one person. There were even benches to sit on and two giant mirrors on each wall.
We made our way back around to the living room.
“Upstairs there is a game room, a bar, a pool, and a rooftop garden,” he said. “So what do you think?”
“It’s incredible,” I said. “Who’s apartment are we in?”
“Ours,” he said.
I just blinked at him.
“That’s what I was doing this morning. This is ours. I bought it,” he said.
“What do you mean ‘Ours’?” I asked.
“I mean, this is where we live now,” he said.
“But I have an apartment,” I said. I wasn’t really comprehending what he was saying.
“Yes. You have this one,” he said. “I bought out your lease. We have until the end of October to move you in here. I think we can do that in a couple of days though,” he said.
“You got rid of my apartment without asking me?” I said.
“I didn’t think you would mind. I mean, look at this place,” he said. “Come on, baby.” He came over and put his arms around me. “Tell me that you don’t want to be with me everyday. To go to bed with me. Wake up beside me. I know that I don’t want to live another day apart from you.”
“That’s all I’ve wanted,” I said. “But what about your girlfriend?”
“You are my girlfriend,” he said.
“You know who I mean,” I said.
“She can live in the hotel,” he said. “I still pay for everyone’s rooms there. She is just another employee as far as I’m concerned.”
“Don’t you think she’s going to have a problem with you never coming home again?” I asked.
He gave me a quick peck on the mouth. “I’m taking care of that problem. Don’t you worry about it. I’m all yours,” he said. “Are you all mine?”
“I’ve always been yours. Remember?” I said.
The smile on his face was as bright as fifty suns. “I have something else for you too,” he said and reached for a little silver box on the coffee table. Instead of giving it to me to open, he took out the delicate little gold bracelet that was inside, and put it around my wrist. It was so tiny that I couldn’t feel it on my arm except for the flutter of the tiny butterfly charm that hung from it.
“Oh my gosh, Jiho. I love it! It’s so perfect,” I said and kissed his cheek. I held out my arm to admire it.
“That’s just the first of the many things I’m going to give you,” he said. “You will be dripping in gold and diamonds.”
“Oh, Jiho,” I said.
He kissed me and then said, “I tell you what. You order us some food. Whatever you want. As much as you want. The address is over on the counter. I’m going to go and pack some of my own things, and I’ll be back. Put on the t.v. or the stereo. Whatever you want. Make yourself at home. Because you are at home. And now I am too,” he said. He gave me another heart stopping kiss and then left me wanting more.
I listened to the elevator drop, and then it was silent. When it was quiet in my other apartment, it was a warm silence. It was comfortable. This was different. This was a little eerie.
Maybe it’s because it isn’t decorated. There isn’t any evidence of life here yet.
I took my time and walked around, looking for light switches and plug ins. I turned on the t.v. That helped some. The sound and light warmed the place up some. It was a little easier to imagine living here. That’s when it really hit me.
Zico BOUGHT us an apartment. I’m living with Zico. I got what I wanted. He’s mine again. ALL MINE! I have my job back. I have a beautiful home. And I have the man of my dreams!
I knew I still had the problem of Ji-Yong, but he was going to have to accept that my heart belongs to Zico. I never wanted to hurt him. Ever! I was an idiot for dating someone when I was still in love with another man. I shook my head. I’m not going to think of that now.
I went into the kitchen. When I saw the address on the counter I remembered that I was supposed to order food. When I called, I started to order Soju to go with our food, but I thought better of it. We both need to drink less, I thought. I ordered soda.
The food came before Zico came back, and I was starting to get worried. It shouldn’t have taken him that long. I tried calling him but it went to voice mail after a few rings. That made me worry more. I called twice more with the same result. I didn’t know what to do so I decided to give him another fifteen minutes. That’s when I noticed what was on the t.v.
I had the sound down low, and I hadn’t been paying attention to what was playing. A breaking news story was interrupting some drama that had been on. I turned the sound up when I saw Alicia Wright on the screen. A news anchor was saying something about her in Korean. They were showing video of her at fashion shows and on television. Then they cut to a live feed of her standing on the outside of the balcony of Zico’s room at the hotel. A helicopter must have been used to get such close ups of her hanging there threatening to jump. She was wearing a short silk nightgown that was rippling in the wind. Her hair was blowing around her face and neck. Her makeup was smeared across her face, and tear streaks ran down her cheeks.
I could see Zico surrounded by police in the doorway behind her. He was yelling something to her, but there was no sound.
I knew she wouldn’t take it well, but damn!
I felt cold hearted, but I couldn’t help but think that she had no intention of jumping. This was Alicia’s theater and she played her part perfectly. She knew if she became the victim that it would make Zico look bad, and he would have to do what she wanted. I wondered if he walked away, if she would actually jump. The longer I sat there and watched, the more fed up I got. I was mad. NO! I WAS FURIOUS! And I wasn’t going to sit there, and allow her to pull this nonsense anymore.
I called a taxi.
When I got there, they didn’t want to let me in, but I told them that I was a regular guest and had nothing to do with what was going on, and they let me through. I didn’t even need a key to get up to the room. They had it open so that the police could come and go unrestricted. By the time I got to Zico’s room, I was in full battle mode. I ignored everyone who said something to me. I walked right past everyone, pushed Zico to the side, and went straight to where Alicia was hanging. Through my anger, I could only hear a muted version of all of the voices that were yelling things at me. I put my hands in her long blond hair, twisted those tatted up strands around my fingers, and yanked. I pulled as hard as I could, and she came right back over the railing. She fell onto the balcony, but I didn’t let go. I started pulling her backwards into the room. No one tried to stop me. They stood there watching in shock.
She was screaming and rolling around trying to get away from me, but there was nowhere she could go. I had had enough! I didn’t care if I was arrested or even if she kicked my ass. She wasn’t coming out of this one unscathed!
When we were fully in the living room, I pulled her up by her hair. She screamed like a banshee. I finally let go, and she turned on me. I dodged her claws and swung my fist as hard as I could at her head. I connected. It seemed like I was watching her head fly back in slow motion. I took that moment to throw my other fist into her stomach. I expected her to go into overdrive, and let me have it. Instead, she fell to her knees and grabbed her stomach. I knew I hadn’t hit her that hard even though I had tried. Then she went to the lowest place that she could go. She looked up at Zico with her raccoon ringed eyes and cried out, “Jico! Our baby!”
They took her away in an ambulance. Zico didn’t want to go, but I told him that he should. At least until we found out if she was telling the truth. They wanted to arrest me. Zico told them that he and Alicia wouldn’t press charges.
I watched him get into the ambulance and ride away with my nemesis. There is no way that she is pregnant. It’s another chess move. Just like the balcony.
Instead of going back to the apartment, I went to see Kim Marco. I sat down and held his hand, and told him what I had just done. I always told Marco all of my secrets. I told him that somewhere in this hospital was Zico and Alicia. There was also Ji-Yong. My entire Korean life was gathered in one place.
“I finally got what I wanted, Marco. I never should have let him go back there. I should have seen trouble coming. What am I going to do if she is having his baby? That will crush me,” I told him. I sat for a little while longer and held his hand and cried.
That’s when it happened. I thought I felt Marco squeeze my hand. It can’t be. I sat very still. There was nothing. An idea came to me.
“Marco,” I said.
He squeezed my hand. I jumped up and screamed, and the nurse came running in. I tried to tell her that he squeezed my hand, but I was too excited, and she didn’t speak English. Finally, she ran and got a doctor, and I was able to tell him. He told me that he was going to set up tests to see if Marco might be coming out of his coma. He told me that it would be best for me to go home and come back in the morning. I didn’t want to, but if it was best for Marco, I would leave and let them work. I kissed his cheek, and promised to come back in the morning.
There was still an hour before visiting hours were over. I decided to go up to see Ji-Yong. He was asleep when I reached his room, so I pulled a chair over to his bed, and laid my head down beside him. I must have drifted off a little because when I opened my eyes again, he was running his fingers through my hair. I didn’t sit up right away. I laid there and enjoyed his touch.
He started to whisper things. I should have let him know that I could hear him, but I didn’t.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said as he stroked my hair. “It’s killing me. I know you are going to choose him. I would do anything to keep you. I would treat you like a queen. Even better, but I want you to be happy. I’m not going to confuse you anymore. I always knew that you wanted him, and that he wanted you. That night that you were poisoned… I didn’t stay. To be fair, we had just started dating, but when I came back the next day, he was there asleep on the couch. He stayed the whole time. I picked up two of his jobs because of that. That’s also when I knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.”
I pretended to ‘wake up’. I yawned and stretched, and then I smiled at him. “I’m so glad you are awake,” I said.
“You too,” he said with a soft little laugh.
“I have had a crazy day,” I said.
“Bad crazy or good crazy?” he asked.
I took his hand in both of mine. “I should have stayed in bed,” I said.
“If you had, I might not be here,” he said.
I kissed his hand. “Nah. You aren’t going anywhere.”
He wrapped his fingers around my thumb.
My phone buzzed. “I’m going to step out here and take this,” I said.
“You can answer it here,” he said. “It’s okay.”
I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hey,” said Zico. He didn’t sound happy. “Where are you? We need to talk.”
My stomach dropped.
“I’m visiting Ji-Yong,” I said.
He was silent for almost a full moment.
“Can you meet me in the lobby?” he asked finally.
“I’ll be down there in a few minutes,” I said. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he said and hung up.
“I have to meet Zico in the lobby,” I told Ji-Yong. “I think I’m about to get some very bad news.”
He rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.
I kissed his hand again and smiled at him. I didn’t want him to know that I felt like dying. I was already pretty sure what Zico was going to tell me.
Standing up I said, “I’m coming back in the morning. You go back to sleep. I want you well enough to go home tomorrow.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
As I walked to the door, he said, “Listen. Don’t go home alone tonight. I’m going to call Hyung to come and get you.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said.
“You just said you might get bad news. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m pretty sure it concerns Zico. I don’t want you alone tonight. Don’t argue with a sick man,” he said.
“Okay. You win. Thank you Ji-Yong,” I said and left.
I dreaded seeing Zico. I didn’t want to hear what he had to tell me. I was about to hit the lobby button in this elevator and lose everything that was important to me. But I couldn’t hide in here forever. I had to grow up and face the bad things in life eventually. It might as well be tonight. I hit the button.
I got to the lobby before Zico. I stood looking out the windows when I felt his arms fold around me. The warmth of his body soaked into me from behind, and I leaned my head back against his shoulder. We stood there and swayed without saying a word.
Finally, I turned around and looked up at him. He was crying.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” he said. “We had to wait for her doctor to get here. She wouldn’t see anyone else.”
“What did he say?” I asked. Better to rip the band aid off fast.
“She’s almost three months along,” he said. “She assured me that she was on birth control. I kind of think she did this to trap me. I think she quit taking it.”
I couldn’t speak. I wouldn’t know what to say if I could. I was numb all over.
“I don’t know what to do now,” he said. “I can’t stand her, but I can’t leave my child without a father.”
I still couldn’t speak.
“She said that if I leave her, she wouldn’t let me see the baby. Ever. She would sue for support and move back to the U.S.”
Hot tears spilled over my lower lashes and down my cheeks. I felt like my heart had already stopped and my body just hadn’t fallen yet. I had no intention of saying anything.
“I want you to go back to our apartment and just stay there,” he said. “I have to figure things out. And I will. I just need some time.”
With his ever perfect timing, Seung-hyun walked through the doors. He took one look at us and went over to sit and wait.
All I could do was shake my head.
“What does that mean?” asked Zico.
I assumed he hadn’t seen Seung-hyun. I still couldn’t speak. My mouth wouldn’t work. There was nothing in my head. Before, I had always had hope. Even when he seemed happy with Alicia. Now, I had lost everything. There was no getting around this. I gained and lost everything in the same day.
“Elizabeth! Say something! You are scaring me!” Zico shook me a little.
That’s when Seung-hyun decided it was time for him to step in. He stood up, straightened his jacket, and came over to where we were standing.
Zico stepped back a little. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m here to take Elizabeth home,” he said.
“I’ll have my car take her home. She doesn’t need you,” said Zico.
“Look, Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “I don’t know what is going on here, and I know that you think I have some ulterior motives when it comes to Elizabeth, but I only want to make sure she is safe. She can’t be alone tonight. That’s clear. She is safe with me. Let me take her home, put her in bed, and you can call her in the morning. I’m sure she will be doing better then.”
Zico looked from me to Seung-hyun. “Is this what you want, Elizabeth?” he asked.
I nodded. I really didn’t want to be alone tonight. Seung-hyun was my other safe place.
It seemed like the hardest thing in the world for him, but Zico agreed. “Keep your phone on you at all times!” he said. “If I call, and you don’t answer, I’m coming to get you!” To Seung-hyun he said, “Don’t you dare give her anything! I’ll have your ass thrown in jail again!”
Seung-hyun took me by the hand, and without saying another word to Zico, he took me outside and helped me into his car.
During the night, I couldn’t sleep. I lay there listening to Seung-hyun’s breathing and wishing that it was Zico. My heart was aching. I knew that I had completely lost him this time. She had won. There was no depth that was too low for her to go to to get what she wanted.
I felt Seung-hyun move behind me. Then I felt him get out of the bed. I thought he was going to the bathroom, but then I saw him walk past a window. The moonlight was so bright that I could just make out his form moving around the room. He reached out and touched something on the wall.
What in the world is he doing?
Then, he turned and came back toward the bed. He was making a soft strange sound. It was almost like a hum. He bumped into the bed, and just stood there looking at me. He was looking but I didn’t think he was seeing.
In a low scary voice, he said, “I knew you were hiding there.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. “I’m not hiding,” I said.
He climbed up on the bed on the far side and started slowly crawling toward me. “You thought you could hurt me, and get away with it?”
“What are you talking about, Seung-hyun?” I said. I was getting scared.
He raised up on his knees and yelled, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME! YOU CAN’T HURT ME! I WILL KILL YOU!” Falling back down on his hands, he started crawling faster toward me.
I kicked at the sheets to get them off of me, but they were wrapped around my legs. He grabbed my ankle, and I screamed. I turned onto my belly to try to pull myself away from him, but he pulled me toward him, and turned me onto my back. He fell on top of me and grabbed my wrists, holding me down.
“Seung-hyun! Please wake up! It’s me. It’s Elizabeth! Please don’t hurt me!”
“DON’T LIE TO ME! You can’t hurt me anymore! You’re dead!” he said.
“SEUNG-HYUN! STOP IT!” Nothing I did worked.
He started biting me. Hard. He bit my collarbone, my shoulder, my breast, and my neck. I screamed and he still didn’t wake up.
I got my hand loose and I did the only thing I could think of. I hit him. When he sat up, I smacked him across the face as hard as I could.
That woke him up finally. He looked around like he was stunned and had no idea where he was. Looking down at me and holding his face, he realized that something was wrong.
“Elizabeth?”
“Get off of me!” I said.
He moved and let me up.
“What’s going on?” he said and sat back still rubbing his face.
“You were having a nightmare,” I said and scooted away from him.
I saw the moment that realization hit him. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry. I didn’t hurt you did I?” He got off of the bed and going to the other side, he turned on the light. His face changed to panic. “What did I do? Come here!”
I was almost afraid to, but I scooted over to him anyway. He reached out and gently pushed my head over to the side. “Oh Jesus! I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Come with me,” he said.
We went into the bathroom. He picked me up and sat me on the counter. Then he went to a closet where he brought out bandages and anti-bacterial cream.
“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “I thought I was over all of that.” He ran a washcloth under the faucet and softly wiped at my neck. It hurt! When he laid the cloth down I saw that it was bloody. I raised my hand to touch my neck, but he stopped me.
“Don’t touch,” he said. He put cream on me and several bandages. “I don’t know why I did this again. I guess it could be stress. I would put you in another room, but I don’t think you should be alone. So listen to me.” He got right up into my face. “If I get up and I don’t answer you, get away from me fast. Run out of the room and lock yourself in the bathroom. Understand me?”
I nodded.
“Don’t come out until I say the word peppermint. Okay?”
I nodded again.
“I really am sorry. I don’t know what made me sleep walk again. I haven’t done that for years,” he said.
I had calmed down. “I’m okay. Just a little jangly,” I said.
“I know just what we need,” he said holding out his hand.
I took it and we went down to the kitchen.
He picked me up and sat me on a stool at the counter. It was weird that he kept doing that like I was a child. Maybe he sees me that way.
I watched him walk around the kitchen in his very form fitting black boxer briefs as he opened cabinets, pulled out glasses, and grabbed a pitcher from the refrigerator. The man had a near perfect form. I never saw him work out but I knew he had to. No one was naturally that fit.
“Tonight you will try my lemonade,” he said. “Actually, it’s Limoncello. You might not like it but it will help us both sleep.
He poured the bright yellow liquid over a few ice cubes in wine glasses, because he was extra like that, and handed one to me. I hesitated. I really didn’t like lemon.
“Don’t smell it. Just drink it. Hold your nose if you have to,” he said.
I did as I was told as I always did when it came to Seung-hyun. There wasn’t that much in my glass so I just downed the whole thing. Then I coughed. A lot. He didn’t pay attention to my distress. It was like he expected it.
“Quite a few years ago, I went through a bad patch. That’s when the sleep walking started. Well, for the second time. Apparently, I would do it as a small child too. I tried all kinds of therapy and medicines. One night it just stopped, and I haven’t done it again. Until tonight,” he said.
“The other night you had a nightmare,” I said.
“The first night you were here?” he asked.
“Mmm-hmm,” I said.
“What did I do?” he asked and finished his drink.
“You shoved me and yelled some things, but you didn’t get out of bed,” I said.
He put the pitcher back into the refrigerator, poured the ice in the sink, and put the glasses in the dishwasher. “Sleepy?” he asked.
“I am,” I said. I could feel my eyes getting heavier.
“Let’s go back to bed, and behave this time shall we?” he said and held out his hand to me.
I took it.
We slept until noon. We only woke up then because security called on the intercom. Seung-hyun got up to answer and I noticed that my neck and shoulder hurt a lot. I dragged my self across the bed and stood up, feeling a little dizzy. I walked over to the mirror and grimaced at the look of the bloody bandages on my neck. I didn’t realize how hard he had bitten me.
“Give me fifteen minutes and then let him come on up,” I heard him say in English. Then he came over to inspect my bandages himself. “I need to change these.”
We went into the bathroom where he changed all of them for me. As he looked at me standing there in my underwear, all doctored up, he said, “Hit me.”
“What?!!” I said. “I’m not going to hit you!”
“You have to,” he said. “I will never get over the guilt of this unless you get even.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “I’m not going to hit you and you don’t need to feel guilty. I’m fine.”
He leaned toward me and squeezed his eyes shut. “Hit me, Elizabeth! Hit me hard!”
You know what? He’s not going to stop until I hit him! So I did. I didn’t punch him like he wanted though. I slapped him, and left a bright red hand print.
“Owww,” he said. “Damn, Elizabeth!”
I laughed.
He rubbed his face and looked and me in the mirror. “I think you need a turtle neck today.”
Downstairs, he said, “I would make us lunch, but your lover is on his way up and I’m guessing he’s wanting to take you to eat.”
“My lover?” I said.
“Woo Jiho,” he said.
Oh no! My phone! I had accidentally left it in my pocket. I felt around for it and when I found it, there were thirteen texts and twenty-two calls from Zico.
“I think I’m in trouble,” I told Seung-hyun.
“Not in my house you aren’t!” he said. “He doesn’t make the rules here.”
He turned back to look at me closer. He leaned down and took me by the shoulders. “Are you afraid of him? Does he hurt you?”
I shook my head. “No! No, no. He would never hurt me. He just gets so angry,” I said.
He stared at me. “Elizabeth! Don’t lie to me. You are afraid of him.”
I was still shaking my head. “No. Really. I’m not lying. Right now is a really bad time. I will tell you about it, but right now I just need to be ready to deal with the anger of Woo Jiho.”
“No you don’t,” he said. “Go into the kitchen.”
There was a pounding on the door.
“It’s really okay, Seung-hyun. Just open the door. He won’t touch me,” I said.
“He most certainly will not!” he said. “Are you sure? I can talk to him and send him away if you want me to.”
“That wouldn’t be a good idea right now,” I said. “Just open the door.”
He didn’t want to, but he did as I asked.
As I expected, Zico was standing there with fury written all over him. He looked up at Seung-hyun who stood back to let him in.
“Jiho,” he said as a greeting.
Zico ignored him. He came to me, and holding back his anger, he said between gritted teeth, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“I’m sorry, Zico. I was so tired that I guess I just forgot to take it out of my pocket,” I said.
He started rubbing his face as he continued to tamp down his fury. Sucking air hard into his nose and letting it out slowly, he said, “Okay. I understand. You had a bad day yesterday. You seem a bit better than you were last night. We need to talk though. Have you eaten?”
I shook my head.
“Let’s go get something to eat, and we can discuss things,” he said.
“Alright,” I said.
Zico’s face changed. He looked at my neck and then at my face several times. Then before I could stop him he reached up and pulled down my collar.
“What is this?” he asked.
I grabbed my neck to cover it back up. “It’s nothing, Zico,” I said. “Can we just go?”
“No! If it’s nothing then let me see it. Did you get hurt?” he asked.
I tried to move toward the door, but he grabbed my arm and turned me back toward him. “Please! Let’s just go. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” I said.
“Then let me see it!” he said.
“I burnt myself on a curling iron,” I lied. “It’s nothing.
He pulled me closer to him, and I saw Seung-hyun start to come to where we were standing.
“I don’t believe you,” he said. He reached up and pulled the tape on the bandage. Part of the bite was visible, and he pulled it all the way off. “What in the hell is this?” he said. He was no longer trying to hold back his anger. He kept pulling my collar down as he found more bandages and bite marks. “WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HELL IS THIS?” he roared.
I tried to hide it with my hands, but it was no use. “Zico, it’s not what you think,” I tried to say.
He turned and punched Seung-hyun in the face in one fluid motion.
“No, Zico!” I said. “STOP!” I was pulling on him.
He yanked his shirt out of my hands and shoved me backwards. I flew into the wall and when I fell, I hit my head on the doorknob. I saw stars.
Looking up and holding my head, I saw Seung-hyun dodge another punch. Then he did some kind of move that put Zico into some kind of pretzel formation. He couldn’t move, and he was hopping mad.
“LET ME GO, MOTHER FUCKER!” he yelled.
Seung-hyun was breathing hard. “Not until you calm down boy!” he said.
“BOY? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO? LET GO OF ME!” Zico wasn’t calming down.
“I think I’m talking to a boy who tries to solve all of his problems with his fists. I’m talking to a boy that is full of anger and doesn’t know what to do with it. I’m talking to a boy who will become a man when he learns to use his head instead of his hands,” said Seung-hyun.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?”
Seung-hyun looked at me on the ground holding my head and said, “I did less to her than you just did.”
Zico ignored him. “I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DRUGGED HER AGAIN, AND HURT HER!”
“Calm down, Jiho,” said Seung-hyun. “I can hold you here all day. I took lessons from Master Pao too.”
Maybe Seung-hyun IS some kind of ninja, I thought.
Zico started struggling, but he couldn’t move. When he finally got tired, he said, “Tell me what you did to her.”
“Would you even believe me if I told you the truth?” asked Seung-hyun.
“Would you tell me the truth?” asked Zico.
“I don’t lie.”
“Did you drug her?” he asked.
“Yes,” said Seung-hyun.
“What?” I said. “When?”
“The Limoncello,” he said.
“I KNEW IT!” yelled Zico.
“There was nothing in it but the alcohol,” said Seung-hyun. “It helped her to sleep. Now do you want to hear how she got hurt?”
Zico didn’t want to say yes, but Seung-hyun had been truthful about the Limoncello. He said, “Did you bite her while you fucked her?”
“You have a crude way about you, Woo Jiho,” said Seung-hyun.
“I just don’t sugar coat anything,” said Zico.
“I didn’t have sex with Elizabeth. I’ve never had sex with her,” he said. “Last night, I had a sleep walking episode. I hurt her when I was asleep. I was in the middle of a nightmare. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I would NEVER hurt her. It will never happen again.”
“No! It won’t!” said Zico. “You are trying to say that you sleep walked into her room and bit her? I don’t believe that.”
“She was in my bed,” said Seung-hyun.
Zico’s anger was rekindled. “WHAT? WHY? YOU HAVE A HUNDRED ROOMS IN THIS HOUSE! I’M SURE THAT ONE OF THEM HAS ANOTHER BED IN IT!”
“Calm down, Jiho. She needed comfort. Why bother bringing her here if she was going to be alone anyway?”
“WHY PUT HER IN YOUR BED IF YOU WEREN’T GOING TO FUCK HER?” yelled Zico.
“I told you that nothing happened. Human closeness is the best medicine sometimes when your heart is hurting. You said yourself that she’s better today,” said Seung-hyun.
A sound of frustration tore it’s way out of Zico. Then he hung his head in defeat.
“Is that what happened, Elizabeth?” asked Zico.
“Yes,” I said. “That was exactly what happened.”
“Did you know that it would hurt me if you slept beside him last night?” asked Zico.
I wasn’t prepared for that question. “Did you know that it would hurt me if you had a baby with another woman?” I asked spitefully. I regretted it the moment it left my mouth.
Seung-hyun let go of Zico then. He stood up looking from me to Zico in shock.
Zico stood up and stretched. I think his pride was hurt as much as his muscles.
Seung-hyun came over and helped me up. He looked at my head. “I think you are okay, but I better put some medicine on this. I’ll go get it.” He ran upstairs.
Zico came to me then. “Did I hurt you?” he asked.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I hit my head a little.”
He looked at it like Seung-hyun had. “A little? Elizabeth, you are bleeding.”
“Dr. Choi will fix me up,” I said and smiled.
“Why do you always run to him?” he asked me and grabbed my hands.
“Because he’s safe,” I said. “He never judges me or pressures me to do anything. He takes care of me.”
“Have you really never slept with him?” he asked.
“I’ve never had sex with him,” I said to be specific.
Seung-hyun returned with the medicine. He fixed up my head and reapplied my bandages. Then he said, “Jiho, I think you should take Elizabeth to get some lunch. She hasn’t eaten.”
Zico didn’t drive himself so he had a chance to inspect me closer in the car.
“I should have him arrested again,” he said as he looked at the bite marks.
Thank goodness he can’t see the one on my breast, I thought. “No, you shouldn’t,” I said as I let him look me over. I knew that it made him feel better. “It wasn’t his fault. He was asleep. He didn’t know what he was doing.”
“Why did you get into his bed?” he asked.
“Jiho, to be honest, I don’t remember much about last night. I was in shock I guess. My whole world was turned upside down and I wasn’t worried about where I ended up. I lost the only thing that I ever really needed, and that’s a hard thing to deal with,” I said.
“I still don’t know what to do,” he said.
“I know what you are going to do,” I said. “You are going to do the right thing. That child didn’t ask to be caught up in this. It needs a father. It needs you. Especially with a mother like her.”
“Elizabeth, I don’t know if that would be the best thing for that baby. I hate Alicia. I can’t stand the sight of her. She ruined everything for me, and now I’m supposed to marry her and act like I love her for the rest of my life? It might be better if I let her go back to America, and I support the baby financially. She actually has pretty good parents, and I know her. They would end up raising it. And if I make sure that it has everything it could ever want, I would know it was well taken care of. Maybe one day it would come and find me. I don’t want to be that kind of father, but I also don’t want to be an angry bitter father that turns cold and distant. That can’t be the better choice,” he said.
I kind of thought he was right. His argument made sense, but maybe I was just being selfish. “I guess Alicia won the lottery,” I said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“She figured out which move would win her everything,” I said. “She got you, your baby, my job, a new penthouse apartment, and all of the pity of the masses.”
“The apartment is yours,” he said.
“What???” My head jerked in his direction so fast that I got a little dizzy.
“I’m giving you the apartment,” he said.
“No! I’m not taking that! No way!” I said shaking my head. “Besides, your new family needs a home. That one is perfect.”
“I bought it for you. I wouldn’t let her anywhere near it. If you don’t live there then I will have to sell it,” he said.
I took his hand in mine. “That’s silly, Jiho. We never lived there so there are no memories of us. There’s even a room for a nursery,” I said.
He squeezed my hand. “I bought it for you. It’s yours.”
“I can’t live there, Jiho. It would break my heart,” I said.
“Then you sell it. You can live there until it sells, and then you can buy something else. As for the job, my solo jobs are still yours. That hasn’t changed.”
“Zico, I’m going to go back to America,” I said. I didn’t know that was what I was going to do, but it was.
He turned in the seat, and grabbed me by the arms. “No you are not! You can’t do that!!! You belong here. Your career is taking off here, and I’ll never see you again!”
I also didn’t know that never seeing him again was a part of the plan, but it was. “I think that might be for the best,” I said. “Every time I see you, I’m going to suffer. I need to be able to heal, and move on.”
“I can’t have that! I will go crazy! The only thing that is keeping me sane now is getting to see you. Knowing where you are. Knowing that you are okay. NO! You CAN’T go and that’s FINAL!” he said.
I didn’t answer. He knew that it was going to happen. There was no reason to argue with him. I felt numb.
I couldn’t eat much throughout lunch, and neither of us said a lot. There wasn’t a lot left to say. I told him about Kim Marco squeezing my hand, and how I couldn’t leave until he was awake again. He told me how guilty he felt for hurting Ji-Yong. He said he knew when he hit him in the back that he had hurt him, but he thought when he got back up that it wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Then he asked a question that I was hoping he would never think of.
“Will you stay with him? For good?”
“I told you that I’m going back to America,” I said.
“I know that he cares a lot for you. He would take care of you. You would live a great life,” he said.
I could tell that he fought for each word. It hurt him to think of me with Ji-Yong. “I’m not in love with Ji-Yong,” I said. “It wouldn’t be fair to him.”
“You could learn to love him,” he said. “He’s a good guy. He would never hurt you, and he could give you more than I ever could.”
“I don’t love you for what you can give me, Jiho. Is that what you think?”
“I know that. I just like the thought of you living like royalty,” he said and smiled. “I also like knowing that I would never have to worry about you.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said.
“It can be. He already wants you. You like him. And you will stay in Korea,” he said.
“I see what you are doing, Mr. Woo!” I said and laughed.
“Well, it’s true. I also know that Choi Seung-hyun can further your career way beyond dressing celebrities. You might even end up with more money than me or Kwon Ji-Yong,” he said.
“That is tempting, “ I admitted.
“In America, your going to be that nameless girl that was on that short-lived reality show. You’ll marry some mechanic, and have three kids. Get fat. End up working as a cashier somewhere…”
“Zico! I would not!” I said and smacked his arm.
He laughed.
“If you stay here, you’ll be a celebrity fashion designer married to a music mogul, and going to all of the parties. Celebrated, praised, and making all other women jealous. They will absolutely hate that American girl who stole their G-Dragon while clamoring to buy every new outfit you create,” he said.
“You do make staying here an attractive option. But I could also become that has-been American girl that lost G-Dragon to some hot new K-Pop star and became a fat cashier selling ramyeon at the market,” I said.
We both laughed.
“That would never happen. He’s in love with you. He’s had plenty of opportunities to date other girls. And yes, I mean while he’s been with you, but he turned them all away. I’ve seen it. You wouldn’t lose him. He’s laying in the hospital right now because he was fighting over you,” he said.
Zico got a call. I listened to him speak in Korean and then start smiling. When he hung up he said, “Are you done? We have to go. I have a surprise for you,” he said and got up from the table. He was still smiling.
“A surprise?” I asked. “What kind of surprise?”
“Just hurry up,” he said.
In the car, Zico blindfolded me. “What in the heck is going on, Jiho?” I asked. I had no idea what he could be doing.
I couldn’t see anything so Zico led me around. Finally, he stopped me, and took off the blindfold. He was grinning like crazy.
“What is going on?” I asked. I didn’t even pay attention to where I was.
Zico yelled, “MARCO!”
That’s when I heard… “Polo!”
I searched my brain to find a word to describe Dong-hyun’s cottage, and what I came up with was ‘charming’. It looked like a little old cookie baking grandma had decorated it. Seung-hyun’s friend was a gardener and flowers were everywhere. Even in the bathroom. He was an expert flower arranger, and had won awards for it. He even kind of looked like a flower with his head full of big fluffy curls.
After I had talked to him for a few minutes, I could see why he was friends with Seung-hyun. Their personalities were a lot alike. The moment I walked into the house, he pulled me into a tight hug, and then twirled me around so that he could look at my dress.
“Perfect October Sunflower, Seung-hyun,” he said.
“Didn’t I tell you?” said Seung-hyun.
Letting go of my hand, he turned and said, “Follow me. We are eating in the garden today. It is such a gorgeous day that we cannot waste what God has gifted us with.” He went through a curtained doorway, and I followed Seung-hyun the same way.
The word that I found for the garden was ‘delightful’. We walked along a cobblestone path to a large circular platform. It was shaded by trees and ivy, and the flowers of the garden radiated out from the platform. They seemed to go on forever. Four stone statues stood at north, south, east, and west. We sat at a round iron table in the middle of the platform.
“I thought I would make crepes for brunch,” said Dong-hyun. “Elizabeth? You aren’t allergic to anything are you? Fruit? Gluten? Dairy?”
“No. I’m not allergic to anything,” I said.
“Great! And, Seung-hyun! I made that divine chocolate syrup that you love so much,” he said.
“I hope you made enough for me to take home,” said Seung-hyun.
I guess we will see when we are done eating,” said Dong-hyun.
The little man was practically dancing around as he poured batter, flipped thin little pancakes, and chopped up fruit.
“I see you eying the statues, little one,” said Seung-hyun.
“They are looking at me,” I said.
“Yes. They are,” he said with an arched eyebrow. “They are protecting you from the evils at every corner. The mountain lion is the protector of the north. The wolf protects the south. A bear protects the west and, a tiger is the protector of the east.”
“I like that,” I said.
He pinched my cheek, and said, “So do I.” He leaned over close to me and said in a low voice, “Don’t ask him about the flowers.”
“Um, okay,” I said. “He doesn’t like to talk about what he does?”
“He loves it! Too much. We won’t go home until midnight if you say one word about the flowers,” he said.
Smiling, I told him, “I won’t say a word.”
Dong-hyun set the table like a dealer in Vegas. He placed plates and trays like he was dealing cards, and filled those plates like he was doling out poker chips. It looked delicious and smelled even better. Fresh strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries covered three perfect pancakes. That was covered with whipped cream that, no doubt, Dong-hyun had whipped himself, and a dark chocolate syrup was zigzagged over that. A fresh mint leaf finished the plate, and made it look like we were setting up brunch for a magazine shoot.
“This is incredible Dong-hyun!” I said.
“Thank you so much, Elizabeth,” he said and looked very pleased with his accomplishment. “I took a few cooking classes.”
He sat beside Seung-hyun, and I started to notice throughout the meal how many times he would touch him. Seung-hyun didn’t seem to be aware of it. Maybe he’s just a very touchy feely person, I thought.
“Dong-hyun, you seem familiar to me,” I said. “Have we met before?”
He flashed a smile at Seung-hyun. “We have. It doesn’t insult me that you don’t remember though. You were quite inebriated.”
I looked at him closer, and a memory came to me. “You sat beside me at the Black and Red party!” I said.
“I did. You were wearing the most magnificent curls, and I couldn’t stop twirling them around my fingers.”
“I remember now. You had on the cutest little top hat. I loved it!” I said.
“Yes! That was me!” he said.
Seung-hyun poured more milk into my glass. “Elizabeth doesn’t know what her power animal is, Dong-hyun,” he said.
“Oh, dear child!” he said.
I didn’t realize I couldn’t get through life without a power animal, I thought and tried not to laugh out loud.
“We will change that before you leave here,” he said.
“Just how will we do that? Can’t I just choose one?” I asked.
“Oh no, it chooses you. Everyone is born with a power animal. You just have to find each other. Some people call it a spirit animal but that is a completely different thing altogether,” said Dong-hyun.
I felt like I had walked into a bizarre dream. So much of Seung-hyun’s life was strange on a different level. I looked at Seung-hyun.
“Dong-hyun is a Shaman,” he said. “He is called a baksu mudang. He can call your power animal to you.”
“Well,” I said hesitantly. “I’m a Christian. This won’t be going against my faith will it?”
“Dear child, who do you think gave you a power animal. God sends us many protectors. That is why Seung-hyun was at the club the other night. You were there unprotected, and even though he had been tired and really didn’t want to go that night, something pushed him to go there. And here we are,” said Dong-hyun.
“I didn’t know that,” I said to Seung-hyun.
“When I saw you, I knew why I had gone,” he said.
“I’m very glad that you did,” I said.
He turned to Dong-hyun. “Elizabeth is going to be my newly found.”
“Oh, that’s exciting!” he said.
“I took a peek at what she has been working on for the show, and we are going to be celebrated until next year’s show. Her style choices are very different from anything that I’ve seen.”
Giving my hand a quick squeeze, he said, “If you keep it up, you will be the star of next year’s show.”
“Did you tell her the bad news?” asked Dong-hyun.
“No, and it’s not bad news. It’s not even news. And I don’t plan to tell her,” said Seung-hyun.
I couldn’t believe they were talking like I couldn’t hear them. “Gentlemen. Hello. I’m right here. What bad news?”
“What news?” they said in unison. “We weren’t talking about you,” said Seung-hyun.
“Don’t lie to my face,” I said.
“Then turn around and I’ll lie to your back,” he said.
“Seung-hyun! What is it? Now I’m going to worry. Something bad is going to surprise me, and it’s going to be your fault!” I said.
“Alicia Wright is in the show,” he blurted out and poured more chocolate sauce on his last crepe.
My face fell. “But why?” I whined. “You know what a retched person she is Seung-hyun!”
“Yes, but she is a great designer,” he said. Turning to me and taking both of my hands in his, he said, “Look at it this way. This is your opportunity to outshine her. She is a has been. Last year’s news. I’ve looked at some of her new designs and she just doesn’t have it this year. You do. Your designs are going to overshadow her by miles, and she is going to be forgotten as soon as your first model hits the runway. Your face will be on the covers. Not hers. So, don’t worry about a thing, little one. You are the star this year. Why do you think I’m so excited for this year’s show? I know what a gem I have found!”
“Do you really believe all of that or are you just trying to make me feel better?” I asked.
“I told you, I don’t lie,” he said. He cut into his crepe and crammed a big piece into his mouth.
“Ironic since you just lied to me a moment ago,” I said.
He arched his eyebrow at me, and made a kissy face.
After brunch, Dong-hyun led us upstairs, and into a room that was missing one wall and a ceiling. It was open like a sun porch except the roof was a canopy of tree branches and vines. There was one long marble counter in the middle, and a round painted design on the floor.
Seung-hyun went over and sat inside of the painted design so I did too. I watched as Dong-hyun went in and out of a little door on the side. Every time he came out, he was in a different state of dress. When he finally came out for good, he was wearing a very colorful robe and a matching hat. I watched him hold up a white sheet of paper. He set it on fire and twirled it around the room until it burnt away.
Seung-hyun leaned over and whispered, “Purification.”
“Dong-hyun brought me a shot glass full of something. “Drink that,” he said.
I looked at it dubiously. I whispered to Seung-hyun, “What is this?”
“Just drink it,” he said. “It’s tea.”
“Oh. I love tea,” I said and downed the shot.
Seung-hyun covered his mouth with his fist and laughed.
“Blech!” I said and looked at Seung-hyun. I whispered, “That’s the worst tasting tea I’ve ever had!”
He took the shot glass and smelled it. “Well, it’s no wonder. He flavored it with peppermint.” Then louder he said, “Dong-hyun, didn’t you have any other flavoring?”
“Not at the moment,” he said. “Sorry, Elizabeth. Tell me when you start to feel warm, and then we can get started.”
Pointing my question at both of them, I asked, “What did I just drink?”
“Poppy seed tea,” answered Dong-hyun. “It will help to relax you so that your power animal can find you.” He came over to where we were and handed me a pillow. “You can go ahead and lay back if you wish.”
Seung-hyun laid the pillow in the triangle of his criss-crossed legs. I was starting to wish that I hadn’t done this. It all seemed kind of culty. I laid down anyway.
We watched Dong-hyun as he walked here and there, twirling sometimes, and bowing sometimes.
I started to get a warm feeling that felt like warm water flowing through my body. I also started to feel a little sleepy and calm. Dong-hyun’s colorful robe began to look like colors swirling around the room.
“Are you starting to feel something?” asked Seung-hyun.
“How could you tell?”
“Because you are laying there grinning at nothing,” he said
“Maybe I’m just a happy person,” I said.
“She’s ready,” said Seung-hyun to Dong-hyun.
I watched as the colorful man opened two enormous fans and began to twirl them in a way that was hypnotizing. I couldn’t look away. It was fascinating. The fans seemed to be opening a hole in front of me. It grew wider and wider until I was looking at a sunny path that wound through a very green meadow. I floated up from the floor and walked along that path. Here and there I saw animals that all startled, and ran when they saw me. I saw a deer, a squirrel, a rabbit, and a dove. I came to a pond and the path led to a bridge that curved over the water. Walking to the top, I sat down and dangled my legs over the edge. My toes made circles in the still water. A butterfly floated down and landed on one of my feet. It was followed by many more butterflies of different colors. Their tiny feet tickled my skin. I laid across the bridge and closed my eyes, falling asleep to the feel of the butterfly tickles.
A little while later, Seung-hyun woke me up. I was still laying on the floor, and Dong-hyun had changed back into his regular clothes.
Seung-hyun ran his fingers through my hair. “What did you see, little one?”
“Butterflies,” I said. “Lots and lots of butterflies.”
“You have found your power animal,” he said. To Dong-hyun he said, “I think we should go. She can go home and rest until dinner.”
And rest I did. I didn’t wake up for hours, and I had some of the most bizarre dreams I had ever had. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember any of them, which was probably for the best. I was extremely thirsty, and my mouth was dry and sticky. I dragged myself out of the bed, and went to find Seung-hyun, and a tall glass of ice water.
He was stretched out on a lounge chair near the pool reading. I walked out and grabbed his big toe. He tried to shake it out of my grasp, and when he couldn’t he said, “Girl!”
I giggled and let go, sitting in a chair beside his.
“I see you had a good nap,” he said, laying his book on his chest.
“I did!” I said. “I really need some water though.”
“Yeah, that poppy seed tea can draw the water right out of you,” said Seung-hyun. “There is some lemonade over there.”
“Blech!” I said.
“Blech?” he said. “You don’t like lemonade?”
“Nooo. Blech!” I said.
He laughed. “Okay, then you can run in and get your own water then,” he said.
And that’s what I did. I felt great. For some reason, I felt like I had slept for three days, and I was ready to party for a week. Now that’s a power nap!
I found the kitchen in this maze of a house and made a pitcher of iced water. I also found some food in the refrigerator so I made a plate with a little of everything I could find, and made my way back upstairs. For the rest of the evening, I worked on my designs for the show. Ideas were coming to me so easily, and I wondered if it was too easily. I wonder if these are really any good or if my great mood is clouding my judgment.
I kept going. It seemed like I didn’t have a care in the world. My world was perfect at that moment.
About an hour later, Seung-hyun came up to see what had happened to me. When he saw what I had been working on, he was astounded.
“I think I’ll have to get more of Dong-hyun’s tea for you. These are incredible, Elizabeth!” he said.
“Do you really think so? I was worried that I was working too fast today for them to be very good,” I said.
“I would say you couldn’t do any better. I’m very excited to show you off!” he said. “Please continue. I’ve got a visitor so we will stay downstairs and not bother you.”
“Ohhh, I think someone has a date,” I teased. “Will you offer them the lemonade?”
He laughed again. “HE is not a date, and yes. He may have lemonade since you so graciously turned down my offer.”
I gave him a fake grin showing him all of my teeth.
He pinched my cheek. “Just stay up here and finish. You are on a roll.” He left.
I only had two outfits to go, and then I would be ready to start collecting material to make my creations. Seung-hyun said that he would pay for whatever I needed. I would make a mock-up of each design and send them off to a special group of seamstresses and tailors that he knew.
I already knew exactly what I wanted for the last two designs. That’s when my nose started itching to get into Seung-hyun’s business. The more I thought about it, the more itchy it got. Just one little look wouldn’t hurt. I thought. I just want to see what his friend looks like. I mean, isn’t it suspect that he said ‘my friend’ and didn’t say their name?
I had no idea where they had gone so I thought I would go out on the balcony to see if they went back out to the pool. I ran down the hall to Seung-hyun’s room, and quietly opened the balcony doors. I could hear them talking so I was right. Creeping out on tiptoe, I peered over the railing, and then jumped back when I saw who it was.
Ji-Yong was sitting in the lounge chair that I had occupied earlier. He had a head full of bright red hair now. I slowly raised my head over the railing just enough to look over and see him. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe how much I had missed him. Just by looking at him, I felt like I was soaking him in like sunlight. Now all I wanted to do was to sit here and look at him. So that’s what I did. I pulled a chair over, folded my arms on the balcony railing, sat my chin on my arms and watched him.
I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but I assumed it was business. Or I supposed it could be personal things. I would have given anything to be down there with them. I watched for about fifteen minutes, and that’s when Seung-hyun took a big drink of his lemonade, and saw me. A couple of minutes later, they both went back into the house. Dang it!
I decided the best thing to do was go back to my work, and feign innocence when Seung-hyun came up to scold me.
I thought my punishment would come on swift wings, but I didn’t see that man again for the rest of the night. I finished all of my computer work, and I had also figured out all of the patterns and materials I would need and tagged them on the drawings. All I needed to do now was collect the fabrics, and send everything off to be sewn. It was really amazing what a person could get done with the right tools, and plenty of time to work.
Standing up to stretch, I wondered why Seung-hyun hadn’t come up to say something to me. I went to find him, but all I found was a note.
Elizabeth, you will have to have a bath without me tonight. I’ve gone to take care of some business. Don’t worry. I will work everything out. Security will make sure that no one bothers you. I ordered you some dinner, and one of the guards will bring it to the house for you. I want you to eat, have a bath, and go to bed. If you decide to snoop, just know that those that peer through keyholes usually walk away vexed. Or at least very embarrassed. You have been warned. Love, Seung-hyun
Didn’t he know that a note like that was going to make me want to snoop? I read it again, and when someone says not to worry, that’s when you definitely should. What was he working out? Had something happened? I really wish I had my phone.
I was starving so I went downstairs to see if the food had been brought up. I found it waiting at the front door, so I took it to the kitchen. After I had plated what I wanted, and stored the rest, I took my plate up to the computer room, and watched everything I could find about Zico on Youtube. Then, I did as I was told. I took a shower instead of filling that giant tub, and I found one of Seung-hyun’s t-shirts to sleep in. It was so strange to climb in that big bed by myself. I hated it.
My thoughts were so intrusive that I couldn’t sleep. What in the heck is he doing so late at night? Did they just want to go out without me? Why did he leave a note instead of coming to tell me himself? It had something to do with Ji-Yong, and if he had to ‘take care of’ something, it must have also had something to do with Zico.
It seemed like I laid there forever listening to silence. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got up, and went downstairs. I didn’t know where I was going, but I couldn’t lay there anymore. My nap had been so long and thorough that I wasn’t sleepy in the least.
At the bottom of the stairs, I was startled when the intercom by the front door beeped. I couldn’t speak Korean, and I didn’t know if the guard spoke English. I wasn’t even sure what button to hit. I pushed one and said, “Hello?”
There was static, and then, “Ma’am? I wanted to let you know that the police are coming to the house. I didn’t want you to be startled.”
I pushed the button again. “Uh.. Oh… Okay. Is something wrong? Did something happen to Seung-hyun?”
Static. “They will explain.”
All of a sudden I was terrified. What if something happened to Seung-hyun? Or Ji-Yong. My heart leapt into my throat.
I jumped at the sharp rap on the door. It jangled my already sizzling nerves. I looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing. Damn! Why am I always dressed wrong whenever anything happens?
Almost falling down, I had to steady myself because my legs felt like jelly. I was so nervous that my food threatened to make another appearance. The door swung open before I could reach it. There were three policemen and one police woman. She approached me first. “Miss Elizabeth?”
I nodded. My body felt numb and shaky.
“Are they okay?” I finally got out.
“Who?” she asked.
“Choi Seung-hyun and Kwon Ji-Yong,” I said.
“Yes, Ma’am. We are here to collect you,” she said.
“But why?”
She was gently pushing me toward the door. “Everything will be explained to you at the station,” she said.
I went with them, praying the whole way.
At the station, I was put in a room by myself, and given a blanket, and a bottle of water. What in the hell is going on? I’m not a criminal or a disaster survivor! Then I thought about it. What if they are getting ready to come in here and tell me there was an accident? What if the boys are dead?
A few minutes later, a very nice man came in and took a vial of blood out of my arm. I was really afraid after that. I couldn’t imagine what I had done to get into trouble. Apparently, Seung-hyun couldn’t work everything out after all.
What seemed like a lifetime later, the police woman came in and told me that they were releasing me. She led me through bright corridors that resembled high school hallways. It smelled like bleach and floor wax. I followed her outside where she helped me into the backseat of a car. There was a privacy window so I couldn’t see who was driving. I felt like I was being kidnapped again. I watched out the window as I was being taken to a mystery location, and the roads were very familiar. Then they were extremely familiar. We pulled into the parking building of Zico’s hotel.
“Are you freaking kidding me?!!” I yelled at the privacy window.
When the car stopped and my door opened, Zico stood there waiting for me to get out of the car. I didn’t.
“Take me back,” I said.
“Get out,” he said.
“Take me back to Seung-hyun’s house,” I said.
“You’re never going back there. Now come on,” he said.
“Zico, this is kidnapping,” I said.
“No. What he did was kidnapping. What I’m doing is saving you. Say thank you, Jiho, and get out of the damn car!” He was losing his patience.
“He didn’t kidnap me. I was…”
“Let’s discuss this upstairs,” he interrupted.
I crossed my arms and sat there.
“Don’t make me get you out of this car, Elizabeth. I’m very tired. My patience is thin, and I’m trying to do the right thing here. I need your cooperation, please,” he said.
His voice had that croaky sound to it that he always had whenever he was very tired. I could tell that he wasn’t playing and might be prepared to do something crazy. Like spank me again. I climbed out of the car, and let him take my hand. We got onto the elevator and got out on the floor of my old room.
When we were inside, he told me to go to bed, and that we would discuss everything in the morning. Without giving me a chance to say anything, he left. I hated being treated like a child.
What happened tonight? Things were going great, and if anyone can throw a wrench in the works, it’s Zico!
I still wasn’t sleepy, and I didn’t plan on staying here against my will. I would wait until he was gone and then I would go back to my apartment. I didn’t have a key, but the security guard there knew me, and I knew he would let me in.
I waited until I heard the elevator go up, and I checked the peep hole to make sure there was no one in the hall. I felt like a teenager sneaking out at midnight when I slowly opened the door. Why I was surprised to find Zico there leaning against the wall I didn’t know. Nothing he does should surprise me anymore.
His head was back against the wall, and his eyes were closed. “Why can’t you ever do what you are told?” he asked.
“Why do you always have to tell me what to do?” I replied.
Turning and putting his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me back into the room and slammed the door with his foot. “Because you clearly don’t know how to stay out of trouble!”
“I wasn’t in trouble!” I said.
“You don’t even know when you are in trouble!” he said.
“Seung-hyun was taking very good care of me,” I said. I had to keep backing up because he kept walking toward me until I was backed up against the bed.
He was right up against me. Looking down at the t-shirt I was wearing, he said, “This isn’t what he had you wearing there was it?”
“I was in bed, Zico. What was I supposed to sleep in? I could have been naked,” I said
“Don’t tease me tonight, Elizabeth,” he said. “Turn around and get in the bed.” His tone said Don’t fuck with me right now!
So I didn’t. I got on the bed, but I got up on my knees so that I could be on his level. Sort of. He was still looking down on me. Now that I was closer, I could see all of the bruises that he had. His mouth was swollen as was his other cheek. I wondered how many he had under his clothes. He must have noticed the same thing about me because he grabbed my head and looked more closely at my healing eye.
“I really wasn’t in any trouble, Jiho,” I said. “Mostly I was working on a project.”
“I’m your project,” he said.
“You are my job,” I said.
I didn’t expect him to look hurt, but he did. “Is that all I am to you now?”
I was thrown off balance by the change in his tone. “No. Of course not,” I said. “But if my heart is going to survive losing you, Jiho, I have to think of you that way.”
All of a sudden, his arms were around me, and he was on the bed with me. “You never lost me!” he said and then his mouth was on mine.
He pushed me back on the bed, still kissing me. Rational thought flew out of my head when he was this close to me. I kissed him back. All I could think of was getting as close to him as possible.
Then, as fast as he was on me, he stopped. “No! I can’t take advantage of you like everyone else does,” he said. He turned over onto his back.
I was very confused. Sitting up, I asked, “What are you talking about?”
He was still breathing hard. “I won’t make love to you while you are under the influence.”
“What?” I said. “I haven’t been drinking!”
Shaking his head, he put his arm over his eyes. “He was drugging you,” he said.
I got out of the bed. “He absolutely was NOT!” I said. “Where in the hell did you get that idea?”
Zico sat up on the edge of the bed. “I know he was, Elizabeth. They did a blood test at the station. They know he was drugging you. You probably weren’t aware of it. It was in your food or whatever you were drinking. I know he’s fond of his wine.”
My hand went to the place where they had taken the blood. “So, that’s what they were doing,” I said to myself. That couldn’t be true could it? I wondered. Seung-hyun wouldn’t do that to me. I know he likes his substances, but he would never do that to me without my permission. Why would he? It wasn’t like I was there against my will and we weren’t having sex. He had no reason to drug me. I tried to think back to when I could have gotten drugged. Then it hit me. The poppy seed tea that Dong-hyun had given me.
“Zico! He wasn’t drugging me. It was the poppy seed tea.”
“What do you think that is, Elizabeth? It isn’t really tea!” he said.
“I didn’t know that when I drank it, but now it makes sense,” I said
“He was giving it to you everyday wasn’t he?” asked Zico.
I sat down beside him on the bed. “No, he wasn’t. We had brunch with his friend Dong-hyun, and I went on a vision quest to find my power animal.”
He turned to me with a look of pure astonishment. “Are you serious? I knew that man was insane! Did you think of what they probably did to you while you were off on your ‘vision quest’,” he asked and made air quotes with his fingers. He laid back on the bed and put his arm back over his eyes. “Why are you so freaking naive? Why do you believe everyone, and trust everyone? You have no concept of how much danger you are in on a daily basis do you? There are still death threats against you. These celebrities that you have made friends with are almost more dangerous. They have the money to get you into real trouble. Everyone doesn’t love you like I do. They have their own best interests in mind, and if you get hurt while they are trying to achieve them then they will see you as collateral damage. They don’t see you for what you really are. They think of you as a walking talking doll that they can play with for a little while and throw you away when a newer doll comes along!”
What he said was making sense. Seung-hyun did treat me like a doll. I had even told him so. I still couldn’t believe that he ever meant me any harm.
“And,” he continued. “Don’t you EVER go to Club M without me again! I don’t care who is taking you! If I’m not going to be there, then YOU aren’t going to be there! You don’t even know what almost happened to you last time you went there do you?”
“I didn’t, but I heard what Seung-hyun told you. He never said anything to me,” I said.
“No, because I don’t think he was ever planning on letting you go. When he talked to me, I got the feeling that he had started to see himself as more than your protector. He wanted to be your owner,” said Zico.
“I can’t believe that about him,” I said.
“Did you have the freedom to come and go as you please?” he asked.
“No, but that was because he was making sure I was safe,” I said.
“Did he tell you what to do? Order you around?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Did you have access to a phone?” he asked.
“No, but I left mine at home when I left that night,” I said.
“I gave him one to give to you. Did he?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
“Did he rape you?” he asked.
“No. He never touched me in that way,” I said.
“Then I probably came just in time,” he said.
Zico was confusing my brain. The things he was saying made sense, but only if you didn’t know the whole story. And if you didn’t know Seung-hyun. I have been pretty gullible when it comes to people though. I didn’t know what to think. I honestly didn’t think that Seung-hyun had anything but my best interest at heart.
“Zico, this isn’t working,” I said. “We need to figure out what is going on. We are in limbo, and I hate limbo. It’s confusing.”
He sat up. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean,” I said getting up to pace around the room. “Us. What is going on here exactly? You say you love me, yet Alicia is still living with you. You still want me to work with you, and pretend that we aren’t secretly making love every chance we get. You act like you are afraid of her. What is she holding over you that makes you keep her around?”
“You,” he said quietly.
“Me?” I said. “What does that mean?”
“I can’t say anymore,” he said. “Just know that she has friends in high places, and she has made threats that I have no doubt she will go through with if I don’t let her stay.”
“Can’t you go to the police?” I asked.
“I have no proof of anything, and it isn’t threats against your life or anything that they will be able to do anything about,” he said.
“I think she had something to do with Kim Marco getting hurt,” I said.
He didn’t say anything.
“Zico! Do you know something about that?” I asked.
“Nothing for sure. But I have wondered the same thing. It’s worse than that though. I think it was supposed to be you,” he said.
“So do I,” I said. “And I don’t think she has stopped coming for me. I think she poisoned me.”
He jumped up. “You know what? This IS ridiculous! She can’t get away with this. I have some pretty big friends too.” He grabbed me and put his arms around me. “Don’t worry anymore. I’m going to take care of everything. I’m going to take care of you no matter what.” He grabbed my arms and held me out to look at him. “Please let me. Stop getting in the way. Let me do what I have to do to make you safe,” he said.
“Does that mean that I’ve gone from being owned by Seung-hyun to being owned by you?” I asked.
“No. You were always owned by me. From the day you got off of that plane, you belonged to me. And no one takes what is mine. NO ONE TAKES WHAT IS MINE!”
I couldn’t even be mad. My Zico is back.
When I woke up I had a migraine, a dire thirst, and Ji-Yong in my bed. I was pretty sure that nothing had happened between us because I was still dressed. Leaving him there to sleep, I went to take some medicine and drink a gallon of water. I jumped in the shower and washed away the sins of the night before with the hottest water I could stand.
Well, you’ve gotten yourself into a real fix this time, Elizabeth! Only you can screw things up to these massive proportions.
I was pretty sure that Ji-Yong was falling in love with me. I should have broken up with him long ago. Now, someone was going to get hurt. It was inevitable. It seemed that everything I touched, went sideways. Even if I went back to America now, someone would be hurt. Actually, we all would.
I was starting to see what Zico was going through a little more clearly now. It’s hard to be between two hard choices. Especially when they were both right and wrong at the same time.
Maybe it would be better to let Zico go, I thought. That man laying in there doesn’t deserve to be hurt. But would it be fair to stay with him and lie to him about loving him when my heart was with someone else?
All of this thinking was making my head feel like it was going to burst. I laid on the couch and tried not to cry. I closed my eyes against the light that was streaming through the half open shades. The next time I opened my eyes, Ji-Yong was softly shaking me awake.
“Hey baby,” he said. “Are you okay?”
I sat up and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. My head was feeling somewhat better, but my tummy wasn’t. “Mmm-hmmm,” I mumbled.
“I was really worried. You drank so much last night. You passed out, and we couldn’t wake you up,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I said in my best pouty voice.
“Don’t be silly,” he said. “I should have been paying more attention. I shouldn’t have lost you. That was my fault.”
Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!
“No, I’m a big girl. I shouldn’t have drunk that much, and I shouldn’t have wandered off,” I said.
“Seung-hyun would have taken better care of you if he hadn’t been high off his ass!”
“It’s not his fault either. It’s all on me,” I said.
Ji-Yong pulled me into a hug and cuddled me on the couch. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I just have a bad hangover. Well deserved,” I said.
He kissed my forehead. “I hate to leave you, but I have some things I have to take care of today.”
“That’s okay. I’m just going to lay here and try not to be sick,” I said.
“Poor baby,” he said and kissed my head again. “If you need anything, call me and I’ll come right back.”
“Thank you,” I said. When he got up, I laid back down and stretched out.
“I’ll call you tonight,” he said.
I closed my eyes, “Alright. Be careful.”
I listened to him leave.
Bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz
I woke up just in time to see my phone vibrate itself off of the table. It fell face up so I could see that the call had been from Zico. It also looked like he had sent 6 text messages.
Stretching to get the phone, I bumped my head on the edge of the table and a sharp pain shot through my brain. Good! I thought. You deserve all of this pain. I was still feeling sorry for myself, and I was flooded with guilt.
Zico: I see that you didn’t sleep alone last night
Zico: I saw you fall last night. I hope you are ok
Zico: Is he ever going to leave
Zico: You need to pick up your phone
Zico: Are you mad
Zico: I’m going to call one more time and then I’m coming up there
That’s when I heard the bang on the door. I guess I should have answered that last call.
I hurried to the door so that he wouldn’t try to break it down.
I was expecting a fight since Ji-Yong had stayed the night, and I really wasn’t up to it. Instead, he came in and hugged me.
“I was so worried about you,” he said with his chin sitting on the top of my head. “It took everything in me not to come and get you last night, but you were surrounded by his people. I knew he would take care of you.”
I could hear his heartbeat. Heat was coming from his chest and through his clothes, warming my cheek. Being in his arms was my favorite place to be.
“So, how well did he take care of you last night?” he asked.
“Nothing happened, Jiho,” I said. “I drank way too much. I was asleep the entire time he was here.”
“Come here,” he took my hand and led me to the bedroom.
We laid in the bed, fully clothed, and fell asleep together.
When I woke up, he was looking at me. I gave him a sleepy smile. “I’m glad you’re still here,” I said.
“I don’t want to be anywhere else,” he said.
Rolling over, I curled into him and pulled his arm around my waist. “I wish we could wake up like this every day,” I said.
“Me too. I think it would be a little crowded though,” he said.
“Hm? What do you mean?
“Which side would G-Dragon lay on?” he asked.
“He doesn’t stay here, Zico,” I said.
“He comes and goes whenever he wants. He stayed last night. He takes you to parties. He fucks you.”
“I hate when you say it like that,” I said.
He pulled me closer. “Why? Is it more than that? Both times that I’ve seen you together, it looked like very dirty sex.”
He’s kind of right. It was. It always is.
“I’m sorry that you saw any of that,” I said. “Why did you have to open that door?
“I don’t know why. I regret it. It kind of haunts me. Especially when you and I are together. I keep seeing it. Over and over and over. I wanted to believe that you wouldn’t go that far because you loved me.”
“I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t taken that pill,” I said. “Besides, you were sleeping with Alicia. How is that fair? Does that mean you didn’t love me?
“I didn’t have sex with her until that night,” he said.
“What? I don’t believe that,” I said. “You two were constantly all over each other.”
“It’s true. I hadn’t made up my mind about what to do. Well, no, wait, when I saw you at that party with him, I had decided I couldn’t take it, and I knew that you were the one I wanted. My feelings for her were old feelings that weren’t real anymore. The more time I spent with her, I knew that. But when I walked in on… on… what I saw, I thought I would never speak to you again. I was crushed. I threw up for a week.”
“I’m so sorry. If I had thought you would come back, I wouldn’t have gone out with him. At first I did it to hurt you,” I said.
“It worked. I should have thrown you over my shoulder and carried you out of that stupid party,” he said.
I turned over to face him. “You should have!”
“At first?” he said.
“Huh?” I didn’t know what he meant.
“You said you went out with him to hurt me… at first. Has it turned into something more?” he asked.
I couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I really like him. He’s very good to me. He treats me like a queen actually,” I said.
“Oh,” he said.
“But I don’t love him,” I said.
That’s when I heard the noise in the other room, and saw Zico’s eyes widen.
“Well, that’s good I guess,” he said. “Seeing as how I think he’s about to come in here.”
I jumped out of the bed. I whispered, “Please don’t say anything. Please don’t do anything.”
He squinted up at me with his jaw cocked to the side. “I’ll try,” he said.
“Please don’t let him know you are here,” I begged.
He gave me a look that said he didn’t like it, but he would be quiet.
Going into the kitchen, I looked around but I didn’t see him at first. Then I found him. He was looking down at Zico’s shoes.
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!
“Hey,” I said, trying to sound innocent.
He hit me with a very suspicious gaze. “Is he here?”
“Who?” I asked.
He gave me a Dad look that said Don’t act dumb!
I looked down at the shoes. “Zico? Um, no. He left those here the other night when he was drunk,” I said. I was such a bad liar.
“He left without his shoes?” he asked incredulously.
“He wore a pair from his wardrobe,” I said.
He looked like he didn’t believe me. And he shouldn’t. I’m such a horrible person.
“Well, okay. I wanted to see if you wanted to go get something to eat.”
“I would love to,” I said. “I haven’t eaten all day. Just let me change. I’ll be right out.”
I practically ran to the bedroom locking the door behind me. Zico was still laying there, one hand behind his head.
“You’re leaving me for him now aren’t you?” he said.
“I don’t have a choice,” I whispered.
“You do.”
I found a little pink dress to throw on. “I can’t right now, Jiho. I can’t do him like that. I can’t hurt him. Not right now.”
“Don’t wear that,” he said. He got up, opened one of my dresser drawers, and pulled out a sweat shirt. Then he grabbed a pair of crumpled jeans off of the floor. “Here,” he said and shoved them at me.
“But Jiho!”
“Wear it or I’m going out there,” he whispered loudly.
I pulled the pants on giving him a perturbed look. I put the shirt on and ran a brush through my hair. I started to grab my mascara, but Zico grabbed it out of my hands and threw it back on the vanity.
“No makeup,” he said.
I just shook my head. Slipping on my shoes, I said, “Please don’t be sitting on the couch when I get home.”
“Why not? Is he staying again tonight?” he asked
“No, but he might walk me up here,” I said.
“Go eat,” he said and pushed me toward the door. “Don’t kiss him!”
I squinted my eyes at him. Then I left the room, locking the door behind me.
When we got to the restaurant, I felt completely under dressed. Seung-hyun was there waiting with Daesung, which was a surprise to me because Ji-Yong hadn’t said anything on the way there about meeting anyone. They stood up as we approached the table, and the first thing that Seung-hyun said was, “Oh honey, did you have that bad of a night last night?” as he looked me up and down.
Even I had to laugh at that.
You’re going to pay for this one Zico! I thought.
“I had a hard night, Seung-hyun. It was fun, but not so much this morning,” I said.
“Tell me about it,” he said. “Look at these peepers.” He slid his dark glasses down to show me his blood shot eyes.
“Goodness,” I said.
Sitting back, he said, “I’m getting too old for these parties. I woke up with two naked women this morning, and I didn’t remember talking to either one of them. I think they might have been twins.”
Daesung laughed. “You are way too old,” he said.
Ji-Yong held my chair for me, but he was oddly quiet. I could tell that something was bothering him, and I had a pretty good idea what it was. Who it was.
He fiddled with his straw and napkin and basically ignored me. I leaned over and quietly said, “Is everything okay?”
He nodded and looked away from me and out of the window.
After we got our food, Daesung cooked the meat, and Seung-hyun said, “Elizabeth, I have a proposition for you.”
“Okay,” I said. “If it’s what I think it is, Ji-Yong told me a little bit about it.”
“I’m in charge of a fashion show in November, and I would love to show some of your original pieces. It would give you some major exposure, and I would get the credit for finding such a brilliant new designer.”
“Or you will be laughed out of the business for making such a fabulously horrible mistake,” I said.
“Stop,” said Ji-Yong. “You are great at what you do.”
“Yes! Stop that! I wouldn’t have asked you if I hadn’t checked you out first,” said Seung-hyun. “Although, I’m rethinking my critical eye now that I’m looking at your wardrobe.”
“Seung-hyun!” I said and he laughed that huge boisterous laugh of his. “I was in a hurry, and I didn’t have anything else clean. I didn’t know we were meeting anyone either.”
“I’m kidding. But listen to me now. You are going to be recognized a lot more in the coming months. You have to start thinking about your image every time you go out. Even to get groceries,” he said.
“Are you serious?” I asked. This is exactly what you were hoping for when you got into this business.
“Absolutely!” he said.
“She’s already getting exposure,” said Ji-Yong and swirled his drink.
“Oh yeah!” said Daesung. He smiled at me.
Seung-hyun salted his food. He looked over his glasses at me. “I suppose you are. You are the new party girl of the moment,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I looked at each of them, but they weren’t saying anything. “Please, tell me!”
Ji-Yong got out his phone. He scrolled for a moment and then gave me the phone. There was an article in Korean that I couldn’t read, but the pictures said a lot. There were pictures of me and Ji-Yong. There were also pictures of me sitting with Seung-hyun and his friends and of me being carried out to the car.” The names Zico and G-Dragon stood out to me. “What does it say?”
“It says that Zico’s former girlfriend and G-Dragon’s current girlfriend is the new most sought out party girl in Seoul,” said Ji-Yong.
“What?! Why? What does that mean?”
“It means that you will be invited to a lot of parties,” he said and he didn’t look happy about it at all.
“Don’t worry,” said Daesung. “It’s not a bad thing. Not for you. But it makes Ji-Yong look kind of bad.”
“But why?” I asked.
“Because, he can’t control his woman,” said Seung-hyun. He squeezed my wrist and looked over at Ji-Yong as he sat back, and took a big drink of his wine.
“Don’t worry Ji-Yong,” said Daesung. “You know how these things work. After the next party, they’ll be on to someone else.”
“I know,” he said. “I don’t care about that.”
“So, Elizabeth,” said Seung-hyun. He was changing the subject. “Will you be my newly found?”
“How many pieces do I have to have done by November?” I asked. It was going to be a lot of work.
“Just ten,” he said.
JUST ten he says!
“What is the theme?”
“Sexy American colonial,” he said.
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “First of all,” I said. “I don’t think there is such a thing. And Second, why?”
He leaned toward me and looked over his glasses again, “Because I want big white ruffle shirts to be in this year,” he said and matched my laughing.
“Well, it’s going to be a challenge, but that doesn’t scare me. When it comes to designing, I love a challenge,” I said.
“I knew it! I could see that in you,” said Seung-hyun.
We spent the rest of the evening talking and watching Ji-Yong sulk. I thought it might be connected to Zico somehow, but I had no idea what was wrong.
We rode home in silence. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I kept quiet. I didn’t want to argue, and I didn’t think I wanted to know what was wrong.
In the parking building, he parked and got out of the car. I was hoping he was just opening my door for me, but no such luck.
“You don’t have to walk me up,” I said. “I can tell that you are upset about something.”
“Yes I do,” he said.
As soon as we got to the apartment, he didn’t wait for me to open the door. He had his key ready. He let me go in first, and then he walked straight to the bedroom. He threw the door open. Then he did the same to the bathroom and the closet. He was stalking around like an hungry lion looking for prey.
Finally, he came to stand in front of me. He looked into my face like he was waiting for something. Then, all of a sudden, he stood straight up and looked out over my head. He was thinking hard about something. Turning slowly, he walked over to the door.
“Zico was here when I picked you up wasn’t he?” he asked with his back to me.
I didn’t want to lie again so I said nothing.
“I knew it. His shoes are gone. He didn’t leave them here. He was here. AND HE WAS IN THE BEDROOM!”
I started to tell him that nothing was going on, but he interrupted me with, “Don’t try to tell me it was a work thing! How long have you been lying to me?” He stormed over to stand in front of me again.
I couldn’t speak. A flood of emotions was drowning me. I could feel tears building, and everything became blurry.
“HOW DAMN LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING A FOOL OUT OF ME?” he yelled. “NO! DON’T SAY ANYTHING! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE LIES FROM YOUR MOUTH!
Tears were streaming over my cheeks and dripping from my chin. The hurt on his face was unbearable to look at.
“I was falling in love with you,” he said in a tear choking voice. Sobs started to climb their way out of his insides, and he bent over and finally knelt down as cries tore their way out of him. I wanted more than anything to wrap my arms around him, and take away his pain. Touching him would have been a mistake. “I thought you were different. You were supposed to be different, “ he said as he rocked back and forth on the floor on his knees, his arms wrapped around his middle.
All of a sudden, his face completely changed. It went from tortured to fury in an instant. He growled, “This is HIS fault! I’m going to fucking kill him!”
He climbed up from the floor, and the look on his face was terrifying. I had never seen this Ji-Yong, and I never wanted to see it again. He scared me.
“I’m going to FUCKING KILL HIM!” he yelled and turned to leave.
I grabbed his hand. “Please, Ji-Yong! Please, stay and talk to me. I can explain everything.” I was afraid.
Jerking his hand out of mine, he accidentally hit me across the face. It knocked me back and I saw stars. He didn’t even notice.
“DON’T FOLLOW ME!” he yelled.
Skipping the elevator, he slammed his shoulder into the door for the stairs and he was gone.
I didn’t know what to do. I sat down in the floor and held my cheek. It felt like it had split open, but it hadn’t.
You have to warn Zico, dummy!
I looked around for my purse, and laying over on my side, I stretched to reach the strap. I pulled it to me, and dug around for my phone. It had been off for some reason. I didn’t remember turning it off. I hit the button and waited for it to come on. It immediately started buzzing. I had three calls from Zico and five text messages. I ignored them and pulled him up in contacts and tried to call him.
The first call went to voice mail. The second did the same. Come on Zico! Answer your damn phone! Now I knew what he felt like when I didn’t answer. I tried once more. The phone on his side picked up, but he didn’t say anything.
“Zico?” I asked.
Nothing.
“Hello? Zico?”
“Leave Jico alone you little whore or I’m going to pull each one of your hairs out one at a time. Then I’m going to cut your fucking ugly head off! Click!
I screamed in frustration. “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” I knew if I called again that I wouldn’t get through so I sent a text.
Elizabeth: Ji-Yong is coming for Zico!
I tried to figure out what to do next. Should I go over there? Would I help or hurt the situation? I didn’t see how I could make this mess any worse.
My phone rang.
“Zico?” I answered.
“What do you mean G-Dragon is coming for Jico?”
“Let me talk to Zico,” I said. I was running out of patience with this bitch.
“He’s asleep,” she said. “What did you mean?”
“LISTEN BITCH! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU! LET ME TALK TO ZICO!” I had had it!
She started to say something when I heard a bunch of fumbling and then, “Elizabeth?”
“Zico! Thank God! Ji-Yong is on his way over there. He knows you were here earlier, and he’s furious,” I said.
“Okay. Let him come,” said Zico.
I started crying again. “Nooo,” I moaned. “I don’t want you to fight him. This isn’t his fault. It’s all my fault.”
“Actually, it’s my fault,” he said. “I think it’s time we get this over with.”
“Please, please don’t hurt him,” I cried. Now I was the one rocking back and forth on the floor.
“Elizabeth, listen to me. He’s a grown man. He makes his own choices. If he wants to come over here and confront me, then he has every right to do that. I walked into what he thought was his territory, and he’s decided to fight for it. I’m ready to accept the consequences for my actions. It’s about time as a matter of fact. I’m so tired of this whole thing.”
I didn’t know this Zico. This was a different man than I had first met so long ago. Or had I just missed this side of him?
“Wait! What do you mean ‘what he thought was his territory’?” I asked.
“You’ve never belonged to anyone but me,” he said. “You’ll always belong to me. You know it too.”
He was right.
“This is such a mess,” I cried.
In the background, I could hear a lot of noise. I heard HEY!, and ASSHOLE!, and what sounded like car doors, but could have been anything. Zico must have gone outside to wait for Ji-Yong.
“He’s here,” said Zico. “I gotta go.” Click
Noooooo! I have to get over there!
I scrolled through my contacts and made another call.
“Kim Hwan! I need you!”
He was there in two minutes.
When we got to Zico’s hotel, there was definitely something going on. A huge crowd had formed. I was terrified of what I would find. Kim Hwan helped me make my way through the crowd to the middle. It was worse than I thought.
On one side was Ji-Yong, Young-bae, and Seungri. On the other was Zico, Jaehyo, Kyung, Yu-Kwon, and Jihoon. They were yelling things back and forth in Korean. It looked like the entire crowd was recording this on their phones. Oh my Lord! What have I done?
I had no idea what they were saying to each other, but both of them were wearing their ‘I’m the real dragon’ attitudes. I needed to stop this somehow, but who do I confront first? I didn’t think either one was going to listen to me. I still have to try, I thought.
Starting to walk out into the middle of the fray, Kim Hwan put his big hand on my shoulder and stopped me. I looked up at him and he shook his head at me. “Miss Elizabeth, you have to let them deal with this.”
“But it’s my fault Hwan. I don’t want them to fight,” I said. I had started to weep. I was a complete mess from head to toe.
“I know you feel that way, but this is something they have to work through. As a woman I don’t think you can understand. These two men are warriors. They are on the same level. They must fight. It’s not just because of you. There’s nothing you can do.”
I stood there helpless. I could feel my right eye swelling, and I could really only see out of my left.
Wanting so much to yell out ‘I’ll go back to America!’, I just stood there and watched with the rest of the crowd. I knew that Kim Hwan was right. Nothing I could do was going to stop this from happening now.
They were moving closer and closer to each other, their ‘gangs’ hanging back behind them, ready to jump in at any time.
All of a sudden, a hand was tangled in my hair, and my head was yanked back. I was looking up into Alicia’s furious face. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, BITCH!” she screamed and yanked so that I lost my balance and I fell to the ground.
Kim Hwan put one of his meaty hands on her chest and shoved. She flew backward, taking a couple of people with her.
The commotion got the attention of the boys. Zico ran over to help me up, and when he got a look at my swelling eye, he looked back and forth from Alicia to Ji-Yong. He looked at me closer and decided rightly that it was Ji-Yong that had hit me.
“DID YOU DO THIS?” he yelled in English to Ji-Yong.
Ji-Yong’s face changed from one of fury to concern.
“It was an accident, Zico,” I said. “He didn’t mean to.”
That didn’t seem to matter much to Zico. That’s when all hell broke loose.
Kim Hwan was holding back a screaming, spitting Alicia. Zico had thrown the first punch, and now all of the boys were fighting. The crowd was moving in and recording everything. The police had been called, and they were trying to gain control. I didn’t know what to do. I was standing in the middle of a chaotic nightmare.
I did what I do best. I walked away.
Making my way home, I showered, changed my clothes, left my phone on my bed, and, went out. I wanted to forget everything. I was going to pretend that none of this existed. No Zico. No Ji-Yong. No Alicia Wright. None of it.
First, I went to see Kim Marco. It was around 9 P.M. so I sat with him for an hour. I told him how bad I had screwed up my entire life. He was a great listener. Then I decided that since I had already become an alcoholic, I might as well keep going. “I’m the party girl of the moment,” I told Marco. “So let’s party.”
I could hear Kim Marco in my head saying, “Now Miss Elizabeth, don’t go doing something foolish.”
“But Marco, that’s what I do best,” I said. I kissed him and left. I was going to Club M for a couple of those Blue Tornado’s. That sounded like just the thing that I needed right now.
Before I left the house, I had done my best to dress up like a doll. My makeup didn’t quite hide my swollen eye, but it was doing a good job of hiding the bruise that was forming. I wanted to look pretty. Everything else was so ugly right now, that I worked hard on looking good. I put on my cute little pink party dress, curled my hair up, and tried to do my makeup as glamorous as I could. I didn’t even wear flats this time. I wore glittery pumps that might have been a mistake, but they were too fabulous not to wear.
A lot of people gave me odd looks at the hospital, but I was starting to get used to that too. It seemed I got odd looks no matter what I did. I’m the odd American party girl, I thought.
I had never been to Club M on my own, and I was a little intimidated. Jong would have been a good accessory to have right now. He would always just put his arm around me and move me through the crowd. Now it was all up to me.
Getting in line, I wasn’t quite sure if I would even get in tonight. It didn’t seem to matter that it was Sunday. There were as many people here as ever.
I felt a hand on my arm. “Miss, could you come with me?”
Instant fear hit me. “What did I do?” I asked.
He laughed. “Nothing. The door host noticed you in line, and said that you are a VIP. You don’t need to wait.”
“I am?” I couldn’t have been more shocked.
“Yes. Please. Follow me,” he said.
He led me to the front where the host said, “You never have to wait here. You are always welcome.” He unhooked the rope and let me go in.
Walking into the club, I could only wonder, What in the hell just happened? Did they think I was someone else?
I decided to get lost in the club and make my way to the bar before they realized their mistake and threw me out. The music was ear shattering, and the crowd was jumping up and down in unison. Finally reaching the bar, I ordered a Blue Tornado, downed it in one long drink, and then ordered another one. The handsome man sitting beside me said, “Looks like someone has big plans for the night.”
Taking another drink, I said, “No plans!”
“Are you here alone tonight?” he said.
We had to yell to one another, and I didn’t know if I should broadcast to everyone that I was indeed there alone so I just nodded.
“I know you don’t remember me. I’m a friend of Jong’s,” he said.
“Ohhh, nice to meet you!” I was a little disconcerted that he remembered me. More than anything I wanted to be anonymous tonight.
“I saw that you are with G-Dragon now. He isn’t here?”
I just shook my head, downed my second drink, and ordered another.
“Would you like to dance?” he yelled into my ear.
I yelled back, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand up after I drink this.”
“I’ll hold you up,” he said. His too perfect grin reminded me of the Cheshire cat. He had too many teeth that were too white and straight. The better to eat you with my dear.
The alcohol was starting to hit me hard. My eyes were already going bleary. Good, I thought. Maybe I’ll pass out again and I can forget about all of this crap!
“Let me finish this,” I said indicating my third drink that was known as ‘Foreplay’ according to Jong.
I took a little more time with this drink. Watching the crowd, the lights and the movement began to make me very dizzy. I was starting to lose the sense of where I was, who I was, what was going on. Exactly what I had wanted.
I closed my eyes as I finished my fruity blue drink, and felt the music vibrate through my whole body. I also felt an arm wrap around my middle and pull me from the stool I was sitting on. I didn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to know who it was. I didn’t care.
The person that was holding me, pulled me to the dance floor. I was swept up in the swaying crowd and began to dance along with them. I felt arms, chests, and body parts I couldn’t name. My mind was a jumble. Flashes of thoughts, memories, and wishes crowded each other as they vied for dominance over my brain. Clearly the alcohol was going to win out over all of them as it continued to fill my bloodstream. Just when I was about to be lost, someone pulled me away from the rest of the crowd, and to the side of the room. Through my haziness, I thought I recognized him, but I couldn’t place him.
“Hello Elizabeth,” he yelled.
“Hiiiii,” I slurred.
“There is someone here that wants to see you,” he said. I followed his arm with my eyes to where he pointed at the balcony above us. Straining my eyes, I finally saw who he was talking about.
“Seung-hyun!” I yelled. He was leaning over the balcony watching the crowd.
“Come with me,” said the man beside me. I followed him.
On the balcony, we made our way to Seung-hyun. He pulled me into a hug. Into my ear he yelled, “Are you here alone?”
“Yep,” I yelled back.
“Wanna go to my place?” he asked.
I really did. “Can we?” I yelled.
He nodded. “Let’s get out of here!”
I left with Seung-hyun.
That was the last thing that I remembered of that night.
In the morning, I woke up with yet another hangover, and looking around, no memory of where I was. I got out of bed and saw that I was still wearing my pink dress. Wherever I was, it was lavish. The bed was huge, with lace bed hangings, and the room was richly decorated. I went through a door that I correctly guessed was a bathroom.
When I was finished in there, I made my way out into a hallway that was familiar to me, but I didn’t know why. I wandered around, and then from the ground floor I heard, “Elizabeth! My muse! How are you feeling this morning?”
There stood Seung-hyun, looking like a rich sitcom Dad in his black slacks and gray wool sweater. Of course I’m in T.O.P’s house! Who else do I know that lives like this?
“I feel like crap,” I said.
He laughed his boisterous laugh. “That’s what you get for being such a big party girl,” he said. “Now come down from there and have lunch with me.”
“What happened to breakfast?” I asked as I descended the stairs.
“You missed that by a few hours,” he said. “I made the most incredible stew for lunch. You will love it.”
“You cook?”
“That surprises you?” he asked.
“I guess it doesn’t,” I said. “You do everything else.”
“Life is short little one! You have to do as many things as you possibly can while you are here.”
We ate outside in a gorgeous little side garden. He was right. The stew was incredible.
“Okay, I’m out of the loop and I don’t like it,” he said. “I know that something was going on with Ji-Yong and Zico. I know that they had to be bailed out of jail last night…”
“WHAT?” I said.
“You don’t know either?” he asked with that quirky eyebrow raise that he has.
“I know what happened, but I didn’t know they went to jail. I left before that,” I said.
“Well, I know that everyone is looking for you,” he said.
I wiped my lips with the cloth napkin beside my bowl. “Do they know I’m here?”
“Not yet,” he said. “I haven’t personally talked to anyone yet.”
“Could you not tell anyone?” I asked.
He looked up at me without raising his head from his spoon. When he had eaten several spoonfuls of stew he said, “Why not?”
“It’s a very complicated story,” I said. “I would just like to be unreachable for a while.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” he said. “I’ll keep you here, hidden away, for as long as you would like, under a few terms,” he said. He sat back in his chair and waited.
“What sort of terms?” I asked.
“Term number one. You have to tell me the whole story. Term number two. You have to let me dress you up and photograph you. Term three. You have to let me tell Ji-Yong that I know that you are safe. Term number four. You have to come to my shisha party. And term number five. You have to sleep in my bed. No sex.” He crossed his legs.
I thought about what he was asking. “What is a shisha? I asked.
He put his finger across his mouth as he thought about my question. “Have you ever heard of hookah?”
“Yes, but I don’t smoke,” I said.
“It’s like that, only in hookah, you don’t get high. I have a special blend that I use during my shisha parties. It’s made especially for me in Bogota,” he said “You can try it. If you don’t like it, you can just sit with us.”
“You won’t tell Ji-Yong that I’m here?”
“I promise,” he said. “No one will know. Except for my friends of course. But they don’t have any connection with that side of my life.”
“Can you let Zico know that I’m okay too without letting him know where I am?” I asked.
“I will,” he said.
“Why am I sleeping in your bed?” I asked.
“I don’t like to sleep alone,” he said.
“Okay, I accept your terms,” I said. “Thank you Seung-hyun. You are really saving me here.”
He bowed his head in gracious acceptance.
“Now, tell me the whole story. Don’t leave out one tiny detail. I want to hear all of the dirt. I need blood, sweat, and genitals,” he said.
I almost spit my stew everywhere. “Alright,” I said. “You may regret it.”
“I never regret hearing about other peoples genitals,” he said.
I told him the whole story. I didn’t try to make myself look any better than I was. I told the truth. It was kind of cathartic. It felt good to tell someone else what I had done, and to share my burden. He didn’t judge me. When I was done, he said, “As you know, I love Ji-Yong, but he is his own person. He has to live with his own choices, the same as the rest of us. On the other hand, I don’t know much about Woo Jiho. I’ve heard that he is difficult to work with. Want me to tell you what I think?” he asked.
“I really would, because I don’t know what to think,” I said.
“First, I’ll tell you what I know,” he said. “I know that Ji-Yong told me that he was falling in love with you, but he didn’t think you felt the same way. He was pretty sure that you were still in love with Woo Jiho. I know that Ji-Yong doesn’t fall for someone easily, and that there must be something special in you that he could see. I know that he gets hurt easily. Now, what I think is that Woo Jiho is also in love with you. This woman that meant a lot to him when he was younger confused him for a minute, and when he realized that he made a mistake, it was too late.”
He sipped his wine, and laughed into his glass.
“What’s funny about that?” I asked.
“No. Nothing. I was just thinking… good on Ji-Yong for taking advantage of my party like that. He didn’t tell me that he took you upstairs that night,” he said.
“Seung-hyun!” I said. “You are just terrible!”
He leaned close to me and said, “And you love it!” Leaning back again, he threw his head back and laughed the boisterous laugh that I was growing to love.
No one was like Seung-hyun.
He continued, “So, I think you are between a rock and a hard place. You have a choice to make. It’s not an easy choice and someone is going to get hurt. There is no getting around that. Listening to you tell the story, I already know, which choice you are going to make. Do you?”
I nodded and looked down at my hands.
“I want you to know that it is in no way going to change the friendship that you and I have,” he said.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Of course. I’m not a part of your torrid little love triangle,” he said. “Although, I have to ask why I’m not? I’m a fabulous lay. You are really missing out.”
“I have no doubt about that,” I said and covered my laugh with a drink of water.
For the rest of the afternoon, he set me to work. He said that as long as I was going to have so much time on my hands, I may as well start designing outfits for the fashion show, and I could use his computer to do my research. I didn’t know where to start with his computer. It covered a whole wall. First of all, the monitor was enormous. It really did almost cover the entire wall. His computer chair looked like a big purple throne. When I asked him about it, he said, “What? You don’t have to be a king to cushion your ass like one.”
Seung-hyun should write a book. People could learn a lot from his philosophies, I thought.
I worked for hours, and I was really happy with the ideas that were coming to me. A few headache pills would have helped, but Seung-hyun said I deserved my pain for being stupid enough to drink three Blue Tornado’s in a row. He was right.
At dinner, he told me that he had let Ji-Yong know that he knew where I was, and that I was safe. He also told Kim Hwan that I was safe, and for him to let Zico know.
“What did Ji-Yong say?” I asked.
“Well, he wanted to know if you were okay. He confessed that he was the one that gave you that black eye. Then he wanted to come here, because of course he knows that you are here. I told him that wasn’t possible. He wanted me to give you a bunch of messages, and I told him that he could tell you when he sees you,”
“That doesn’t sound like he hates me,” I said.
“He will never hate you. He said that he had a night in jail to think about what had happened, and he doesn’t blame you. He blames Woo Jiho.”
Knowing Zico like I do, I asked, “Does Jiho know where you live?”
“I have no idea, but I’m sure he’s been invited to a party at some point. Why? Do you think he will come here?” asked Seung-hyun.
“Yes I do,” I said.
“Well, don’t worry. He will never get in. I have top notch security,” he said and handed me a bowl of something that looked like greens. “Do you think he will try to hurt you?”
Why does everyone think that? “No. Never. He would try to take me with him,” I said.
“No one will hurt you or force you to do anything as long as you are under my protection. I promise you that,” he said.
“Thank you Seung-hyun. I appreciate you so much,” I said.
We laughed a lot during the rest of dinner. When we were done, Seung-hyun stood up and said, “Now, time for our bath.”
“Wait! What?” I said as I got up from the table and followed him.
“Come along little one,” he said.
Once we were upstairs, I waited in the bedroom while he filled the jacuzzi tub. His bedroom was indescribable. I guessed that you also didn’t have to be a King to sleep like one. His bedroom was the size of my apartment. It had a sitting room and a small bar. I could almost walk into the fireplace.
“Get naked,” he yelled from the other room.
“Yeah. Okay,” I yelled back and laughed.
A couple of minutes later, he came into the room, and I almost fell off of my chair. He was stark naked. There was not a stitch of clothing on his body.
I screamed and covered my face with my hands. “Seung-hyun!” I yelled at him through my fingers. “What are you doing?”
“Did you think I kidding?” he said and tried to pull my hand away from my face. “Get naked!”
“I’m not having a bath with you,” I said.
He finally grabbed my hand and pulled me to a standing position. “My house, my rules,” he said.
“But…”
“No buts,” he said. “Except your naked one. Are you going to make me undress you?”
“What would Ji-Yong say?” I asked.
“He’s not here. But I think that he would be for you getting naked. Not against. Take this off!” he said as he tried to pull my shirt up.
“Alright! Alright!” I said. “But you can’t look,” I said.
“Elizabeth, I’ve seen naked women before. Lots of them. Do you have something that they don’t? Are you hiding something under those clothes that is going to shock me?” he asked.
I turned away from him. “Yes,” I said.
He hugged me from behind. I scrunched my face up. I could feel all of him even through my clothes. I guess you don’t have to be a King to be king-sized, I thought. Oh my gosh! I’m starting to think like him.
“Really, now I’m intrigued. What could it be?” he asked as he pulled at my clothes.
“Fat,” I said.
“That’s all?” he asked. “I’ve seen a lot of that. You have nothing to worry about. I like it. You forget. I’m an art collector. I actually prefer a healthy female body. Now, take your clothes off and let me worship you.”
“I thought you said ‘no sex’,” I said.
“Naked means sex to you?” he asked.
I dropped my hands. “It doesn’t mean that to you?”
He took off my shirt and I let him. “Absolutely not,” he said. “I have so many things to teach you, little one.”
I let him take off the rest of my clothes. I could feel a blush cover my entire body.
“I love naked people,” he said. “It seems that there is shame in nakedness to you.”
“Well, I’m not completely happy with the way I look,” I said.
“I’m looking at you and I think you are beautiful. Soft and pink and white and round. Women’s bodies are so much more wonderful than men’s bodies,” he said. He turned me around to face him. “There is no shame in your body,” he said.
I could actually feel myself start to relax some.
“Now, get in the bathtub before all of the bubbles are gone!” he said and smacked my bottom. Hard.
I was taken aback when I walked into the bathroom. First of all, it could have been a pool room. Second, the bubbles were overflowing the tub. They were reaching as high as I am tall. At least they will hide my body!
Seung-hyun climbed in and almost disappeared. “Come on in, Elizabeth,”`he said. When he sat down he was gone.
Getting into the tub, I wondered if my claustrophobia would flare up. It sounded silly, but I couldn’t even put my head under the blankets in bed. I sat down and a hand grabbed my arm and yanked. Seung-hyun pulled me to the middle of the tub. He started pushing the bubbles to the side until we were inside a bubble dome.
“Isn’t this the best part of every day?” he asked.
He is so freaking cute! I thought.
“Now, turn around here,” he said and twirled me around until I was facing away from him. He started pouring water over my back and then he gently scrubbed with a loofah. My eyes became heavy. I could have fallen asleep right then. I rested my arms on my knees and my head on my arms. He covered my back in soap.
“I’m going to teach you Hangul,” he said.
Without opening my eyes I said, “But I can’t see the letters from here.”
“You can feel them. You’ll see. You’ll pick up more than you think.” He wrote a letter. “Now, I’m going to tell you the name of the letter and the sound it makes. I want you to say the sound after I do.”
“Okay,” I said. My mouth was mushed against my arm so it sounded funny. I was actually falling asleep.
He said “This letter is giyeok. In english it would be the letter g.” He told me how to pronounce it, and I copied him.
Rubbing it away, he wrote another letter. It felt like the letter L. “This is nieun. In english it would be an n.” I copied his pronunciation again.
We went on like this for a while. The longer it went on, the more sensual it started to become. It was very odd to do such passionate things with someone that wasn’t a sexual partner. I wondered for a moment if he was trying to quietly seduce me. He very easily could, which is why I didn’t think that he was. He was just like that. He lived openly and passionately. It seemed like a wonderful way to live.
“We will save some for tomorrow,” he said after about twenty letters. “You look exhausted. You must have worked hard today.” He washed the soap off of both of us and helped me from the tub. Strangely, I didn’t feel weird about being naked in front of him at all now. He didn’t seem to notice. It was just another outfit to him.
He gave me a huge purple shirt to wear. It would have been big on him so I didn’t know where he had gotten it from. He buttoned it and rolled up the sleeves for me.
“I’m just like a big doll for you aren’t I?” I asked.
“The very best kind,” he said. “You talk back. I usually sleep natural, but for you, I will wear my shorts.”
“That is very sweet of you,” I said.
He smiled and kissed my cheek. “It is. I also think we will both sleep naked by the end of the week.”
I just looked up, smiled, and shook my head. He’s probably right.
The bed was absolutely ginormous. “What size bed is this?” I asked.
“It’s an Alaskan King,” he said.
That meant nothing to me. “You live alone. Why do you need such a big bed?”
Letting me climb in first, he got in on the same side. Otherwise, we would have been on opposite sides of the room. “I throw some pretty big slumber parties,” he said.
I held up my hand, “I don’t want to know,” I said.
He pulled the sheet over us, and starting to tickle me, he said, “Are you jealous? Would you like to come to one of my slumber parties?”
Wiggling away from him and squealing, I said, “No! I think that’s a little too much for me.”
“There will be champagne. And cotton candy,” he said. He had stopped tickling me, and slid up behind me, putting his arms around me and trapping me in his embrace.
Should I allow this? I wondered. It was almost like cuddling my brother. Almost. “I love cotton candy,” I said.
“So do I,” he said. He had laid his cheek against my shoulder.
“Seung-hyun?”
“Huh?” he said. His breathing was slowing down and becoming steady.
“Isn’t this strange for you?” I asked.
“Is what strange for me?”
“Laying here with me like this. You don’t really know me after all,” I said.
He put his knee between my thighs. “I know you as well as I know anyone,” he said.
“That’s not true,” I said.
“I don’t lie. I also don’t believe in the concept of strangers. People are all basically the same. Almost everyone likes to cuddle. Tell me you don’t enjoy this,” he said. His voice was slowly sliding over into sleep.
“I can’t,” I said.
“See. Now shhh. Go to sleep my moon and stars.”
I laid there listening to his breathing grow heavier and deeper. His hand slid under my arm and cupped my breast. Instead of moving it, I put my hand over his and let myself drift off thinking, I found another safe place in this world.
A loud beeping sound woke us both up. It was still dark so I knew that it wasn’t morning. Seung-hyun jerked awake, sitting up abruptly. He sucked in a big breath through his nose, trying to wake up. The beeping continued. Turning to get out of bed, he reached back and patted me saying, “It’s okay. It’s the security intercom. Go back to sleep.”
Fat chance of that now!
I listened in the dark to Seung-hyun talking to what I assumed was a security guard. He was speaking in Korean so of course I had no idea what was going on. That was, until the security guard came on and I could hear Zico yelling from somewhere in the distance. He was yelling my name. I heard ‘Elizabeth! Come out here!’ and the guard saying something and then ‘Elizabeth! Come the fuck out here now!’ The commotion went on for a couple of minutes. I didn’t know if I should go out there to calm him down or not. Then, Seung-hyun decided for me. Getting back into bed, he slid back up behind me, put his arm around me like before, and said, “It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
I did.
What must have been a few hours later, I was awoken again with a shove. I thought Seung-hyun was convulsing. I sat up and turned to him. The room was very dark, and I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him moving. I reached over to put my hand on him and that was when he started shouting.
“Leave me alone! STOP! I’LL KILL YOU!” I could feel him fighting some imaginary danger. He kept knocking my hand away,but I felt around until I could feel his hair in my hand. I began to run my fingers through his hair and rub his head. He was very hot and his face was sweating.
Trying to be soothing, I said, “Shhh. It’s okay. It’s Elizabeth. You are safe.”
He started calming down, and after a minute, he was back to sleep. I wondered if he had a lot of nightmares like that. I would soon find out.
“Elizabeth. Hey, little one, wake up.” Seung-hyun was shaking me awake.
When I sat up, some of my hair fell down in my face.
“Oh my,” he said and started laughing. “We have a lot of work to do this morning.”
“What do you mean,” I said and scooted over to the side of the bed.
He pushed that bit of my hair back behind my ear. “I mean that you must have had a party in your sleep last night! You are a mess. Let’s get started.” He was already fully dressed, and looking like a magazine model. His hair was perfect, his red shirt was crisp and stretched nicely over his chest, and his ever present black slacks showed off his perfect backside. That has to be why he always wears them. I had noticed more than once how fine he looked walking away.
I jumped up to follow him. We went into the room where he kept his many closets full of clothes, and he threw open two of the doors. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, and I wondered what in the heck I had done in my sleep. My hair was sticking out everywhere. One of my sleeves was still rolled up but the other one hung down past my hand by a couple of inches.
Seung-hyun grabbed a yellow sun dress from the closet and held it up in front of me. “Yes!” he said. “You are my October Sunflower today.”
I looked at him holding up the dress. “Won’t we look like Ketchup and Mustard?”
He looked down. “You’re right,” he said.
I expected him to put the dress back, but he put it on a rack instead, and went through another closet to add a hat, yellow gloves, and little yellow ankle boots.
“Are we going somewhere fancy?” I asked.
“We are going to have brunch with my friend, Dong-hyun.”
He left me to get dressed, which surprised me because he liked to supervise everything I did. When I was putting my shoes on, he came back in wearing a soft yellow shirt and a black sports jacket. It had a little yellow hankie sticking out of the pocket with tiny black polka dots on it.
“Now, go sit over there and let me do something with that hair,” he said.
“You can do… never mind,” I said and did what I was told. Of course he can do hair.
He ran a brush through my tangled hair, and never once hurt me. He had the gentlest touch, and when he was done, I looked great! “I’ll let you do the makeup,” he said. “Keep it clean and simple.”
I tried to put my makeup on the way he said, but I wasn’t sure what that was. So I didn’t use a lot. It must have been right because he approved it.
I felt so out of place in Seung-hyun’s world. We took a Rolls Royce to his friend’s house. We were dressed like we were going on a picnic in the Great Gatsby. Our driver was in full uniform. But, the topper was that Seung-hyun was carrying a shiny black enamel walking stick with a gold handle that looked like it was in the shape of a bird.
I couldn’t let it pass. I had to ask. “Seung-hyun?”
“Yes, sunflower,” he said.
“Why are you carrying a walking stick?” I asked.
“Why aren’t you?” he asked.
I was starting to figure out how to answer his questions instead of just being stumped. “Because it would clash with my dress.”
“You are right,” he said. Then, laying the stick across his lap, he pulled on the handle, and with a little pop, it slid free from the rest to reveal a very sharp looking sword on the inside. He gave me a side long glance and then slid it back until it clicked.
“Why do you have that?” I asked.
“Because you never know,” he said out of the side of his mouth. Cryptic answers were just a part of Seung-hyun, and anyone who wanted to converse with him would have to accept it.
“What kind of bird is that?” I touched the top of the cane.
“That, little one, is a falcon. It symbolizes superiority and seeing things from a different perspective. It’s my power animal,” he said. “What is your power animal?”
“I’m not sure. What is a power animal?” I asked.
“You are an enigma. You seem to let life happen to you instead of being in control of it,” he said. “The best thing you ever did was to meet me. I’m going to change your perspective on so many things.”
I didn’t know if I should feel insulted or grateful. “I do just let things happen to me,” I said.
“Tonight, we will find your power animal,” he said.
The driver looked in the rear view mirror, and we locked eyes. Still looking at me, he said, “Sir? We have a tail.”
“Of course we do,” said Seung-hyun and rolled his eyes. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll deal with him when we get there.”
“Would you like for me to take care of it, Sir?” asked the driver.
“Thank you, but no. It’s going to take a little bit of aggression to handle this problem I’m afraid,” he said.
Seung-hyun wasn’t giving anything away so I had to ask, “Is everything okay?”
“It will be,” he said. “I told you that while you are under my protection, you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Do you have a stalker?” I asked.
He looked over at me and said, “No. You do.”
I was going to stay quiet, but that really wasn’t something I did well. “I heard Zico on the intercom last night,” I said.
“Apparently, he slept in his car outside of the gates last night. Don’t worry. You won’t have to interact with him.”
“He will be okay won’t he?” I asked and looked down at Seung-hyun’s walking stick.
He laughed and said, “Elizabeth! I’m not a ninja!”
Even I had to laugh at that.
“I’ll just make sure he understands that he doesn’t have access to you until I allow it.”
“I thought that decision was up to me,” I said.
“You don’t even know what your power animal is, and you think you can make a decision like that! No ma’am. I’ll decide when you are ready to jump back in between two snarling dragons, “ he said.
I looked at him in shock. He saw the boys the same way that I did. He totally got it. If I was being honest with myself, it felt great to have a protector. I was giving up some freedom and decision making, but I hadn’t made great decisions so far so maybe it was better if someone else gave it a try.
The car pulled into a circle drive in front of a cottage that looked like it was plucked out of a fairytale.
Seung-hyun looked over at me and said, “Stay put.”
“Okay,” I said.
“You are going to hear things, and get this little voice in your head that tells you to get out of the car. Ignore that voice,” he said.
“I will,” I said.
“When the need to open the door and interfere with what I’m about to do comes over you, you are going to sit on your hands. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I won’t get out of the car,” I said.
He stared down at me for a moment, and then opened the door and stepped out.
The car was running, so I rolled the window down just a crack so that I could hear. Immediately, Zico was in fury mode. He started yelling things in Korean, and Seung-hyun just listened until he stopped. In an even tone, Seung-hyun began to speak in english.
“Elizabeth is in no state to deal with you or Kwon Ji-Yong right now. She is under my protection. That means that no one will speak to her until I give my permission.”
“Your permission? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think her protector was until now? ME!”
“You weren’t doing a very good job. Do you know how I found her?” asked Seung-hyun. His voice never raised above conversational.
I couldn’t hear what Zico said.
“Under your so called protection, Elizabeth was at Club M, so drunk that she couldn’t stand on her own. A man that I know to be a date rapist had her on the dance floor surrounded by his friends. If I hadn’t been there and witnessed what was happening, I have no doubt that you would have found her the next morning dead or wishing that she were.”
I didn’t remember that. Now was when that little voice was telling me to get out of the car. I ignored it but my hand was on the door handle.
“As I understand it, also under your so called protection, Elizabeth was kidnapped, shot, poisoned, and thrown away by you for a woman that isn’t good enough to lick her pumps. You disrespect her, use her, and manipulate her. If you truly loved her as you proclaim, you would have gotten rid of the other woman long ago, and taken care of her. She shouldn’t have to question it. You would be building her up. Putting her first. Making her the Queen of your world. So, until she can hold herself up and tell both you and Ji-Yong to fuck off, I’ll be showing her how to take care of herself.”
I had to sit on my hands.
Zico seemed to have calmed down somewhat because he was no longer yelling.
“Look, I know what a horrible job I’ve done at taking care of her. I’ve tried. I’ve done everything that I know to do without locking her up, which is essentially what you are doing. I’ve even had her followed without her knowledge. I paid for body guards. I set up self defense lessons. I followed her around to keep her from drinking or taking crazy drugs. Which YOU gave her by the way! I know I screwed up with Alicia, but I’m trying to make it right. I love her Seung-hyun. I love her so damn much, and it’s killing me.”
“I know you do,” said Seung-hyun. His voice was very understanding. “Right now she needs distance. From both of you. You don’t have to worry. She’s safe with me.”
“You don’t have her drugged do you?” asked Zico.
“No I do not,” said Seung-hyun.
“Can you give her this?” asked Zico.
I didn’t hear a response.
“Now, if you don’t mind, we are late for a brunch date,” said Seung-hyun.
“Are you taking her on dates?” asked Zico.
“I am. They aren’t romantic dates, but I am showing her how she should be treated. Building her confidence. Lifting her up to where she belongs. Make no mistake Woo Jiho, if I wanted to take her from you, I would.”
“You make no mistake Choi Seung-hyun, if I find out that you touched her sexually in any way, I’ll kill you. You may be keeping her from me right now, but she belongs to me. She. Belongs. To Me!” said Zico.
“She may come to you when she leaves here, but I promise you, after this week, she will run right back to me every time you fuck up. Then you will be the one laying in bed knowing that she is cuddled up next to me and you won’t be able to get to her. So don’t fuck up! Take care of her!”
I think that Zico walked away after that, because I couldn’t hear anymore talking. Seung-hyun came to stand by my door, but he didn’t open it for a few minutes.
Finally the door opened and Seung-hyun held out his hand to me.
“Shall we?” he said.
I took a week off. For a whole week there was no Zico, no Ji-Yong, and no Jong. Zico didn’t have any important schedules so I sent over the two outfits that he might use for the short interviews he had if he was so inclined. If not, then that was okay with me too. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Zico. I just needed some time to get my mind straight. I had to formulate my plan, and I couldn’t do that with so many distractions.
Ji-Yong didn’t really understand why I didn’t want to see him, but he accepted it. Spending time with him was confusing me the most. I had genuine feelings for him. They didn’t change the fact that I wanted to get Zico back, but they made everything cloudy.
Jong wasn’t much of a problem. He was never that serious anyway. He’s the kind of person that feels his feelings in the moment, and in the next moment, he feels those feelings for someone else. When I had called him to tell him that I was taking a little break, he told me that he was being sent to China anyway by Zico. He was needed there for something to do with work. I sort of thought I probably wouldn’t see him again. I hope he finds someone really special, I thought.
I got a lot of personal things done in that week. Housework got done. My bedroom was finally put right after the fight between Zico and Ji-Yong, and I could sleep in there again. I started coming up with some ideas for Zico’s new project. I had lunch with the Kim brothers every day.
Marco was improving. They no longer thought he might die. The doctors were very optimistic that he would wake up at any time. I didn’t need them to tell me that. I always knew that he was too strong to give up.
My week was almost up, and I hadn’t come up with a good plan yet. I had decided to call it Operation Kill the Bitch, but I thought better of that later. I didn’t want to kill her. I just wanted to send her packing. I didn’t care what country she decided to land in as long as it was somewhere far away from Zico.
I was laying in bed watching rainbows bounce off of the walls from the prism that I had hung in the window, and thinking. I went back and forth on whether I should stoop to Alicia’s level and use her same tactics against her. One moment I thought I was better than that, and the next I was all for it. Finally, I decided that this was like a war, and in war, you had to use all of the tools at your disposal. She was never going to fight fair. If I did, I would lose. So I was going to have to take the things that she had done to win Zico over and turn the tables on her.
I already knew that they fought a lot. So I was trying to be as good, and sweet, and agreeable with him as I possibly could. I tried to remember all of the things she had done. She would call in the middle of the night, and have him “save” her from some horrible thing she was going through. I could do that. I figured out that she had gotten one of the phones that Zico or Jong had bought me and sent Jong the texts that made him think that I wanted him back. I didn’t think I had the means to do something like that to her. I didn’t know enough about her to do that, and besides, I didn’t want to involve someone else and have them get hurt. That wouldn’t be fair.
I was going to ask Zico to start taking me back to see Master Pao. That would definitely bring back some old memories. Also, it would be time that we would spend together away from her. The Block B boys offered to teach me some Korean. He was spending a lot of time with them lately so that would be more time in his presence.
I did some shopping this week. I bought outfits that I thought were flattering, and that I thought would make Zico look twice. I made sure not to go too risque, but they certainly showed more skin than I was used to. I also, got a haircut, a manicure, and bought some new makeup.
I tried to think of the best way to go about my nefarious plan, and I realized that what I needed was a spy. It just so happened that I knew the perfect person to help me. Picking up my phone, I dialed and listened to the phone on the other end ring. When he picked up I said, “Hi Jaehyo! Are you hungry?”
I met Jaehyo at a little chicken place near my apartment. That boy could put away some chicken. I watched him in amazement.
“Okay,” he said between bites. “I’m listening.”
“I’ve decided that I want to try to get Zico back,” I said.
“It’s about damn time!” he said.
I put my hand on his arm. “Do you think I can actually do it?”
“I know you can,” he said and took a giant bite, and then licked his fingers.
“Why are you so certain? He seems to be pretty happy where he is,” I said.
He stopped chewing, and looked up at me over his drumstick. “You haven’t been around him lately have you?” he said.
“Why?” I shouldn’t be happy to hear bad things about Zico, but I was. A little.
“He’s miserable. All day long, he whines about what a total bitch Alicia is. And that’s in between talking about you. He’s always asking if I have talked to you or if I know what you are doing.”
I was trying to act calm on the outside, but my insides were having a party. With confetti. “I really hate to say that I’m happy about that, but I am,” I said.
“That boy is tortured. Zico is a very proud person. He cannot bring himself to admit when he screws up. He is really regretting giving you up. He keeps saying that he didn’t even give you up for her. She was just there when he effed up.”
“He could have come back at any time,” I said.
Jaehyo looked at me and shook his head. “Nah. He couldn’t.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I’m not sure I should say anything,” he said. He took a big sip of his soda.
“You know you can tell me anything. Whatever you tell me, stays between us. Always,” I said.
“But it’s about you,” he said.
I was starting to get an inkling about what he was talking about. “Then I already know it, right? So what could be the harm?” I said.
“Well,” he paused. “…he is still messed up about something that he saw.”
Ah. I was right. “Me and Ji-Yong,” I said.
He nodded not looking at me. He took a bite out of a biscuit.
“That is my regret,” I said. I took a big breath and sighed.
“He didn’t say anything to me. Or the rest of the guys except for Kyung,” he said. “As far as I know, Kyung only told me.”
“Do you know what happened exactly?” I asked. I doubted that he knew the whole story.
“All I know is that Zico walked in on you two, and he can’t get past it,” said Jaehyo.
“Want to know?” I asked.
“If you want to tell me,” he said.
I took a drink of my bottled water. “I went to Seung-hyun’s party with Ji-Yong. It was right after Zico left me and I was hurting like crazy. I couldn’t even breathe most of the time. Seung-hyun gave everyone an Ecstasy pill. I wasn’t going to take it, but then Zico showed up with Alicia. They were all over each other and I couldn’t handle it. I should have left, but as is my custom of always doing the wrong thing, I took the pill. I got so freaking high.” I closed my eyes as I told the rest. It was too embarrassing to look at Jaehyo as I recounted the rest of the events of that night. “I was waiting for Ji-Yong to come back from the bathroom when Zico came to me to ask if I had taken that pill. He was so angry. I kissed him, and because I was so high, I tried to get more from him, but he wouldn’t do anything. So I walked out and right upstairs with Ji-Yong. If I hadn’t been high, I never would have done that. I have no idea why Zico followed us or why he opened that door. I’ve wished a thousand times that I had never gone to that party,” I said.
“It wasn’t your fault. It was Zico’s and he knows it. None of that would have happened if he hadn’t left you in the first place. He doesn’t blame you for anything. He says that all of the time,” said Jaehyo.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“He will just randomly look at his watch and say, “I’ll bet Elizabeth is out with G-Dragon right now. Or he’ll ask if I think that he stays at your apartment a lot. Once he told me that sometimes he drives through the parking building of your apartment hoping to see him so he can hit him with his car.”
He must have heard my sharp intake of breath because he said, “He wouldn’t really do that you know.”
“So. What do you think I should do to get him back?” I asked.
“You made a really good start when you came back to work. When we went out that night, he was in a great mood. He kept telling us what had happened and how impressed he had been with you. Make sure you go to all of his schedules. And don’t let Alicia intimidate you. She’s all bark.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I said and raised one eyebrow.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
I took another sip of my water. “Well, the other day she said something that scared me.” I said.
“Scared you?” he said sounding incredulous.
“Yeah. She told me to be careful or I might end up like Marco. It didn’t sound like an idol threat. It sounded like she knew what had happened to him,” I said.
He looked shocked. “You don’t think she stabbed him do you?”
“I doubt it. But she may have paid someone to do it. It also makes me wonder if our poisonings had something to do with her.”
“Oh my gosh. I never thought about that,” he said.
“I think I had better be very careful. I’ve been trying not to go anywhere alone, and I’m careful about what I drink and eat,” I said.
He looked at his watch. “You know, I have a basketball game in about half an hour if you want to go.”
“Thanks, but I’m not a big basketball fan,” I said.
“You will be today,” he said.
I gave him a questioning look.
In a whispery voice he said, “Zico will be there.” He swirled the ice in his glass as he chewed on some of it.
“You know what?” I said. “I don’t have anything else going on this evening. I would love to see you play some basketball.
“I thought you might,” he said and laughed. “This is how you win him back. Be where he is. Look great, as you always do, and be your sweet self. He will come around. He pays attention. I promise. Zico likes to feel like the most important person in the room. Make him feel that way and he will crave your attention.”
“I’m so glad that I talked to you. I had all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my head. I thought I might have to resort to Alicia’s tricks, but now I see that he would hate that. You wanna be my spy?” I asked.
“You know I do!” he said.
I put my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you so much for being on my side.”
“You are the best thing that ever happened to Zico. I was always for that. We tease him, but we all love him really. Even when he’s kicking our asses,” he looked at his watch again. “We better get over there. He’s always there early.”
We paid the check and went to play our games.
I followed Jaehyo onto the court. He walked me over to the bleachers and made me guardian of his water bottle. He pulled his shirt off and wore just a tank top. It actually was starting to get hot for an October day.
My eyes couldn’t help but search for Zico. The problem was, I was looking for Zico with black hair. I didn’t know that just that morning he had started the process of going back to blond and he now sported a head full of orange hair. I was looking around people, and being a little bit obvious when I heard someone say, “Are you looking for the way out?” Then there was that familiar cocky laugh.
He had been right in front of me the whole time. I looked up into the sun, and all I could see was his silhouette. I shielded my eyes with my hand which didn’t help at all and said, “Shh. Don’t tell Jaehyo.”
“I can keep a secret,” he said. He sat down beside me, resting his elbows on his knees and looking around at me. “How did he talk you into coming over here?”
“He said you would be here,” I said. I decided to be bold. If he wanted to be wanted, then I would let him know that I wanted him.
I don’t think he knew how to respond to that. It wasn’t often that someone left Zico speechless. He just looked at me for a minute in silence. Then he said, “I guess I had better win today then.”
“You’d better,” I said and winked. I leaned my elbows back on the bleachers and let my skirt slide up my thighs. He looked.
Minhyuk ran over to where we were sitting. “Hey Elizabeth,” he said.
“Hey there Minhyuk,” I said back.
“Would you watch my shirt and my glasses for me?” he asked.
“Sure, if I can wear your glasses,” I said.
“Go ahead,” he said and headed back to the court dribbling a basketball.
I slipped on the sunglasses. I was so glad that I had worn the flirty little black dress that I had just bought. The sunglasses matched my outfit perfectly. I had never really known how to flirt, but I thought that I was getting better at it.
Zico stood up and said, “I better get out there.”
“Alright,” I said and smiled at him. Then I looked away. I had to play a little hard to get after all. As he walked away I yelled, “Good luck.”
He yelled back, “ I don’t need it. I have skill.”
Classic Zico.
I really was bored by basketball. But not by Zico. He could probably do anything, and I would find it interesting. I didn’t know if he was good or not because I knew nothing about the game, but he did make a few baskets from pretty far away.
About an hour later, they seemed to be wrapping things up. Jaehyo came toward me with Zico.
“Uh, Elizabeth?” said Jaehyo as he pulled his shirt back on.
“Yeah?” I said. I stood up and handed Minhyuk his glasses when he made it over to where we were.
“I’m so sorry, but I forgot I have a thing to get to and I can’t take you home. Will you be okay?”
Zico watched us as he dried off with a towel.
“That’s fine,” I said. “I can find my way.”
“I can take her home,” said Minhyuk.
“NO you can’t,” said Jaehyo a little too quickly.
Minhyuk looked confused. “I can’t?” he asked.
“No. You have to go to that thing with me,” said Jaehyo.
That wasn’t obvious at all Jaehyo, I thought. I fought to keep the smile off of my face.
He still looked confused, but he said, “Oh, okay. Sorry Elizabeth.”
“That’s okay, Minhyuk. I appreciate the offer,” I said.
They walked off together, but I noticed they kept looking back.
Zico tied his shoe, and stood up. “Come on,” he said and pulled out his keys.
“You don’t have to take me home, Zico,” I said. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble. Come on,” he said
I went with him. He opened my door, and waited for me to get in. After he got in and got situated, he started laughing.
I just looked at him.
“He wasn’t exactly subtle was he?” said Zico and laughed some more.
I laughed too. “He tried.”
“Are you going home?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said.
Pulling out into traffic, he said, “I have a better idea.”
I had forgotten how bad Zico’s driving was. I held on tight to the door handle until we turned into the parking lot of an ice cream parlor fifteen minutes later.
“It’s hot today,” he said.
“You always did have the best ideas,” I said.
We sat outside eating ice cream, and watching people rushing to whatever destination was calling them. I watched Zico slowly licking his cone, and wished that he was licking me. I missed that mouth so much. I shook myself out of my daze when my ice cream dripped on my hand.
“Thank you, Zico,” I said.
“You are welcome, Elizabeth,” he said.
We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Taking a bite of his cone, Zico said, “It feels good to just sit here doesn’t it?”
I nodded. “Yes it does.”
“To just sit back and watch everyone else running around for a change. It gets so tiring sometimes. Rushing and rushing and rushing everywhere. Being pushed by people who all want something from you. They don’t want you. They want what they can get from you.”
He was laying back in his chair looking out at the crowds. At that moment, I felt sorry for him. I could see the real him. I saw Jiho. He was always trying to control everything. It was good to see him relaxed for a change. I didn’t speak. There was nothing that I could say that would make a difference.
“I mean look at those people. What are they in such a hurry for? I bet none of them have noticed what a beautiful day it is. I would also bet that whatever they are rushing to isn’t important at all. They won’t even remember tomorrow what they did today,” he said and then paused and looked at me. “But I will.”
I looked back at him. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t frowning. He didn’t have any expression, and his face couldn’t be read. He just looked at me.
“I will too,” I said.
We sat there and finished our ice cream without another word.
On the ride home, Zico said, “I have to go to a party tomorrow night. It’s a Black and Red party. Do you have anything in your magical closet that I can wear?”
“Well, is it a fancy party or a casual one?” I asked. I felt a little prick of jealousy in my stomach.
“It’s pretty fancy,” he said.
I didn’t even have to think about it. I knew exactly what to dress him in. “I have something, but you should have waited to dye your hair. The black would have gone much better with it. The orange might clash.”
He grinned at me and said, “I clash with everything.”
“Oh, you do not,” I said.
“Can I go ahead and grab it now?” he asked.
He might not want to do that, I thought. I might not let him leave.
“Sure you can, “ I said.
When we pulled into the parking building, I noticed a little yellow two seater parked near the elevator. Uh oh, I thought.
I had a bad feeling all the way up to the apartment. I should have listened to it and brought the clothes out to Zico. But I didn’t.
I took my time opening the door. When I did, there he sat, on the couch, in all his glory.
When Ji-Yong turned and saw Zico walk in behind me, his face went from sweet to angry in two seconds flat.
He stood up and walked around the couch.
“I see,” he said. He was furious. He leaned against the back of the couch and crossed his arms, giving us a death glare.
I wasn’t sure how to handle this. I decided to pretend that there wasn’t a problem. “Ji-Yong, you know Zico.”
“EXCUSE ME?” he said.
“I’m getting some clothes for him to wear tomorrow night,” I said. I tried to play it off as a work thing. Which if you think about it, it was.
Zico wasn’t saying anything, and I was so glad.
“Now I know why you didn’t want to see me all week!” he said.
I went over to him and said in a low tone, “Can you give me a minute to finish my work, and then we can talk?”
He didn’t answer. He stood there shooting daggers at Zico with his eyes.
I turned to Zico, and said, “Give me a minute, and I’ll get the suit.” I hated leaving them alone, but I needed to hurry and get Zico out of the apartment.
I rushed to the guest room where I kept Zico’s work wardrobe. I threw open the doors and found the suit pretty quickly, considering how full the closet was, and compared to Seung-hyuns, completely unorganized. It was easy to spot. The suit jacket was a red satin with little red velvet fleur-de-lis and, black accents. A black collar, cuffs, and trim. The pants were just black. Zico usually brought his own shoes. He didn’t trust anyone with that job.
I threw the clothes in a garment bag, and ran back out. When I got to the door, I slowed down and walked out like normal. The boys were in the same places. Zico was near the door looking down and Ji-Yong was staring at him. I gave the bag to Zico, and opened the front door. He stepped out. Turning, he said, “Can I speak to you for a moment?”
“Of course,” I said. Oh, here it comes.
I stepped out into the hall with him, and said to Ji-Yong, “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Take all of the damn time that you need! Take a whole fucking week if you want to!” he yelled sarcastically.
I winced.
In the hall, Zico said, “So, he’s allowed to just come into your apartment, but I got shit for doing the same thing?”
“It’s not like that,” I tried to say.
“And why does he have a key, but I don’t?” he asked.
“I’m dating him,” I said.
“I’m your BOSS!” he said, getting a little loud.
I whispered, trying to bring the level back down, “Zico, that doesn’t give you access to my entire personal life. I tried to explain that to you before. When we dated, you could come into my room anytime you wanted. And you did. Remember?”
“I want a key,” he said.
He really is the most brazen person I have ever met!
“Zico,” I started.
“Tomorrow,” he said.
“But,” I tried again.
“TOMORROW,” he said.
“FINE,” I said back a little too loud.
“Don’t sleep with him tonight,” he said.
My eyes widened, and I stood there looking at him in shock.
“What I do with him is none of your business,” I said.
“It won’t be when I can come in anytime I want,” he said.
I couldn’t believe the absolute conceit of this man.
“Fine! Don’t sleep with Alicia either!” I said.
“I won’t,” he said.
I couldn’t think of what to say to that. I expected a different answer. So I said, “I think he’s angry with me anyway.”
“Good. I gotta go. Go in there and tell him you have to work. If he doesn’t leave soon, I’ll give you work to do,” he said.
Without giving me time to respond, he turned and left.
I was in utter shock. Looks like I was right. I could still bring out his inner dragon.
I closed my eyes and rubbed them. Now I had to go and deal with the other Dragon. Stepping back into the apartment, I leaned against the door and looked at Ji-Yong who was still standing there with his arms crossed. He looked even more angry.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” I said.
“Was that really just about a work thing? Or was that a cover?” he asked. His voice was low and steady and sounded very scary.
I walked over to him. “It really was just a work thing,” I said. I put my hands softly on his arms. “Do you think Zico would put up with a cover story if he was here for any other reason?” I asked. I slid my hands down his arms. I put my hands in his and he slowly uncrossed his arms and held my hands.
“Why couldn’t I see you all week?” he said with a pout.
I bent down a little and looked up into his face. “I just needed time to get some things in order,” I said. “It wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you. I had to have some alone time to do life things. Clean the house, pay bills, do laundry, figure out my work schedule. You know, life things.”
He softened and relaxed. “I’m sorry I got mad,” he said. He kissed my cheek and squeezed my hands. “I just didn’t expect to see you coming home with him. You know how I feel about him.”
“I know. He’s still my boss though.”
Pulling me around the couch, he said, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
Now I was intrigued.
I sat down and he laid down with his head in my lap. “Seung-hyun is heading up a fashion show in a few months, and he wants you to be a part of it.”
I sat up fast and almost squished Ji-Yong’s face with my breasts. I don’t think he minded much.
“Me?” I said.
He sat up and laughed. Rubbing his head he said, “Yes you. He watched some episodes of the show you were on, and he loves the way you design. He wants to make you his newly found.”
“Newly found?” I said. I hadn’t heard that term before.
“You’ll be his up and coming designer,” he said.
My heart was racing as was my mind. “I’m terrified,” I said out loud. I hadn’t meant to.
Ji-Yong laughed. “You’ll be great. And I’ll be there for everything. As much as I can be.”
I got up on my knees and hugged him, bouncing up and down.
“Well, this day turned out better than I thought it would,” he said playfully.
That’s when he grabbed me around the thighs and flipped me so that I was laying on my back and he was between my legs. He slid up my body so that he was stretched out, and kissed me. It was a doozy of a kiss. It made my head dizzy.
“I have another job offer for you too,” he said in a breathy voice. Both of us were breathing heavy after that kiss.
Don’t sleep with him tonight, went through my head in Zico’s bossy voice.
“What kind of job offer?” I asked in a similar breathy voice.
“Quit your job, and come help me with a new solo project I’m working on,” he said. He pulled his shirt off and threw it.
Oh boy, I thought.
“I have a contract,” I said.
“I’ll pay to break it,” he said.
Oh no! What am I going to do now?
I rubbed his bottom lip with my finger. “Can I think about it?”
“Why do you need to? Would you rather work for him?” he asked. He looked hurt.
Thinking fast I said, “Ji-Yong, I tried having a personal life with my boss and it turned out to be a disaster. If something happens and you break up, you also lose your job. Or work at an awkward job. Which is what I do now.”
He looked down and thought for a moment. “You are right,” he said. “I can see what you are saying. But I would still like for you to think about it.”
“I definitely will,” I said.
He smiled and kissed me again. His hands began to roam. He nuzzled into my neck and pulled gently at my skin with his teeth. I was getting all tingly.
DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM TONIGHT
It was like a siren going off in my head. I jumped.
Ji-Yong looked up. “Are you alright?”
“No. No I’m not.” I was stuttering. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this tonight,” I said.
He sat up and looked concerned. “O…Okay. What’s wrong?”
“Um… It’s a female thing,” I lied. Well, it had worked before.
Running his hands through his hair, and sitting back to collect himself, he said, “Ohhhh okay. I get it.”
I sat up straightening up my clothes. Damn you Zico! I thought.
“Well, want to order some food and watch a movie?” he asked.
“I would love to,” I said. “You call, and I’ll go change into my pajamas.”
I had forgotten what Zico said about giving me work to do until my phone started buzzing. We were waiting on the food and looking for a movie, and I was tempted to ignore the call, only I knew that no one could ignore Zico. He would just come back up here.
I picked up the phone with some apprehension. He’s not going to believe me.
I couldn’t answer it without Ji-Yong listening in, and if I went to the bathroom, he would know what I was doing. I hit the ignore button, and sent a text.
Elizabeth: Jiho, we are going to eat and watch a movie.
I was tempted to send a picture of me in my pajamas to prove it. That might look bad though.
Zico: Oh Ok
I was a little surprised by the text, but I was happy that he was going to accept that.
Ji-Yong found a movie that neither of us had seen. We decided to wait until the food came to start watching it which didn’t take long. When the bell rang, Ji-Yong was in the bedroom looking for batteries for the remote so I answered the door without checking the monitor. I assumed it was the delivery person, however, we all know what it means to assume things. And when I opened that door, I felt like a huge ass.
Zico was leaning against the wall with the food in one hand, Soju in the other, and a very cocky smile on his face. He pushed past me, looking around and walking down to the couch. “Thanks for the invite,” he said.
Ji-Yong walked out of the bedroom looking confused.
I rubbed my forehead in exasperation.
Zico looked at shirtless Ji-Yong and me in my pajamas, and said, “That was quick.”
“Nothing happened, Zico,” I said.
“What happened to ‘Jiho’,” he asked and sat the food down.
Ji-Yong walked down to the couch holding the batteries and asked, “What is going on here?”
“Ask Zico,” I said throwing my hands up and shrugging.
Leaning back on the couch and opening a Soju, Zico put one foot on the table and said, “She invited me for food and a movie.”
Ji-Yong looked at me. “WHAT?”
“I DID NOT! Zico, I said that Ji-Yong and I were going to watch a movie,” I said.
“I have the text to prove it,” said Zico getting out his phone.
I walked down to the couch and said, “Zico! You knew what I meant!
Zico scrolled and held his phone up to Ji-Yong. He didn’t look at it. He threw the batteries on the couch, grabbed his shirt, and said, “You know what? I’m outta here. You guys have fun.” He headed for the front door.
I chased him out the door. “Ji-Yong… Ji-Yong please… Don’t go,” I begged.
He didn’t stop. We got to the elevator and he slammed the side of his hand against the button.
Grabbing his arm, I said, “Please don’t leave. I didn’t invite him. You know how Zico is.”
“He’s an asshole!” said Ji-Yong still not looking at me.
“Yes! Totally! Please don’t leave me with him. He’s just trying to make you angry. Don’t let him win,” I said.
I thought that might work with Ji-Yong. He wasn’t as bad as Zico, but he had his pride. The elevator doors opened and he stood there breathing loudly threw his nose.
After a minute, the doors closed and he turned to me and said, “I’ll go back in there. But if he starts anything, I’m not promising that I won’t break everything in that apartment kicking his ass! Including his neck!”
“That’s fine. I’ll help you,” I said. I grabbed his hand and we went back inside.
Zico looked around, took another drink, and said, “Are we going to eat or what? Let’s get this party started!”
It was probably the most uncomfortable time that I had ever had. I sat in the middle. No one really talked. Zico laughed hard at some parts of the movie, but that was probably because he was getting more and more drunk with every Soju he drank. Ji-Yong didn’t eat. He sat there holding my hand so I tried to eat a little with my weak hand, but I didn’t get much.
I guess that fantasy threesome is never going to happen, I thought and laughed out loud.
“Something funny?” asked Ji-Yong.
“Nope. Just a random thought,” I said.
As soon as the credits began to roll, Ji-Yong got out his phone and left the room. I could hear him talking to someone from the bedroom.
Zico grabbed my hand. I pulled it away, and glared at him. He laughed and tried to grab it again but I wouldn’t let him.
“STOP IT,” I whispered loudly.
Ji-Yong came out of the bedroom and walked toward the front door. I jumped up to join him. “I called a cab for him,” he said. “He can’t drive in his condition.”
“Where are you going?” I asked and grabbed one of his hands with both of mine.
“I’m going home. I’ve had enough,” he said.
“You’re just going to leave me here with him?” I asked.
He pulled his hand away and dug in his pocket for his keys. “You’ll be fine. You spent all day with him. What’s a few more minutes?”
“I did not, Ji-Yong. Now, YOU are trying to hurt me,” I said.
He twirled his keys around looking for the right one. “Yeah, well. You hurt me,” he said.
“How did I hurt you?” I asked. I took a step back.
“Nevermind,” he said. “I’m going home.” He turned toward the door.
“Please,” I tried once more. “Don’t leave me here with him.”
“Do you think he will hurt you?” he asked.
“No, but he’s drunk,” I said.
“Well, maybe someone will get lucky tonight then,” he said.
Tears filled my eyes and I walked away. I went to the bathroom, slammed the door, and sat down in the floor and cried.
I heard Ji-Yong say, “You are a real asshole.”
“I know I am,” said Zico.
The front door slammed.
A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock on the door.
“Ay, are you okay?” asked Zico.
I pulled the door open in a fury and got in his face. “NO! I’m NOT okay! Why did you do that?”
He backed away from me. “You know why,” he said. He went back to the couch and opened another drink.
“You know what, Zico? I really don’t.” I went over and sat beside him, opening my own Soju. I took a big drink.
My phone buzzed. I picked it up fast hoping it was Ji-Yong, but it was the taxi driver saying that he had arrived. Ji-Yong must have given them my number.
“Who is that?” asked Zico.
“The taxi,” I said.
He pulled the phone from my hands. Putting it to his ear, he said, “I no longer need your services. Thank you. Charge it to KOZ.” He hung up.
“Zico, you can’t drive like this,” I said.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said and took a drink.
“The hell if you aren’t,” I said and took a drink.
“We’ll see,” he said. “Ji-Yong really shouldn’t have left.”
I stared at him. I tried to be mad at him, but I had to admit to myself that this was what I wanted. Maybe not a drunk Zico, but I did want him to stay. Forever. I took another drink.
I watched him slouch lower and lower on the couch with every drink he took. He flicked through channels, laughing at things that I didn’t understand.
Finally, I asked, “What about Alicia?”
Without even looking up, he said, “What about her?”
“Won’t she be looking for you?” I asked.
“Probably,” he said. “I don’t really give a damn!”
“Shouldn’t you go home to her?” I asked.
He downed the last of his bottle. “I’m right where I want to be,” he said.
He was slurring all of his words.
I had three bottles myself, and it was hitting me hard. I guess Master Pao’s cure has worn off, I thought.
I stood up and almost fell back down. “I’m going to shower and go to bed,” I said. “Do what you want, but don’t drive.”
He looked up at me with sleepy eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
I took another bottle, and went into the bathroom. I shut and locked the door.
Standing under the hot water of the shower was like heaven. This shower and that Soju is going to make me sleep all day tomorrow.
I froze when I heard the bathroom door open. I did lock it didn’t I? I knew I had. I had checked it to make sure.
I could see Zico silhouetted through the shower door. “Zico?”
The door opened, and he stepped in, clothes and all.
I tried to push him out, but it was like pushing against a brick wall. He shut the door, put his hands on either side of my head, and kissed me. I kept pushing and telling him to get out, but the fight was slowly leaving me. I wanted him so much.
“Don’t push me away,” he kept saying between kisses. He held me against the wall, and kept kissing any part of me that he could get to. “Let me stay tonight. I want you. Don’t fight me,” he kept saying. Zico wrapped his hands around my wrists and pushed them against the wall below me. He plastered himself against me, kissing my mouth, neck, ears, and shoulders.
I had missed this so much. I hadn’t even realized how much.
“You are just saying that because you are drunk,” I said
He shook his head, “No, no, no, no. I want you every day. kiss I think of you every second. kiss I made a mistake. kiss I made a mistake. kiss I made a huge fucking mistake.”
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, he had taken off his wet clothes. When I felt his skin against mine, I started to lose my fight. I was starting to kiss back. My hands weren’t so much pushing now as they were caressing. I still told him to stop and leave, but my voice was losing it’s harshness. He picked me up, kicked the shower door open, and carried me to the bedroom.
The next morning I woke up surrounded by Zico. His leg was over both of mine, his arms were around me, and his face was in my hair. The pillows and blankets looked like they had been through a hurricane. One blanket was hanging off of my mirror. Another was draped over the closet door. I had no idea how that had happened.
I ran my hand over Zico’s knee, and up his thigh. I kissed his hand. If we could stay this way, I would be the happiest girl in the world. But I’m going to get hurt. He’s going to wake up, and go home to her. I have to be careful.
It was a mistake to lay there in his arms so I got up. He must have really been drunk because he didn’t move when I untangled myself. He was going to have a major hangover, and his party was going to suck. I smiled at that thought.
I quietly got dressed, and went out to make a cup of tea. My head wasn’t feeling too good either. I skipped breakfast, and took some headache pills instead. I sat at the kitchen table, and noticed that Zico’s phone was sitting there. I was surprised it hadn’t gone off once. Knowing that I shouldn’t, I picked it up and found that it was turned off. WWZD? I thought. He wouldn’t even think about it. He would look.
I hit the button.
The phone went crazy. He had so many calls and text messages that I didn’t know how he didn’t lose his mind. I counted and Alicia had left him 47 text messages, and had called 21 times. I didn’t read them. I cut the phone off and laid it down. I can’t do to him what I wouldn’t want him to do to me.
I went to the living room and checked my own phone. I had a few messages from Jaehyo wanting to know what had happened, but that was it. Nothing from Ji-Yong. I was a little disappointed. I sent a message telling Kim Hwan that he could have the day off because I wasn’t going anywhere.
I went and got Zico’s wet clothes and washed them. If they weren’t done when he left, he could just wear something from the work closet.
Honestly, I was looking for busy work so that I wouldn’t have to think about what had happened. I answered some emails. I swept the kitchen and cleaned up the mess from the night before. I dusted. I put Zico’s clothes in the dryer.
Finally, he came out of the bedroom, squinting against the bright sunlight, so very naked, and walked into the bathroom. He didn’t say a word.
I got some headache medicine ready for him. He came out, still squinting and still very naked.
“Didn’t I wear clothes yesterday?” he asked.
I brought him the pills, and said, “You did.”
He took both pills at the same time. “Can I have them back?” he asked.
“I’ll check to see if they’re dry,” I said.
I pulled the dryer door open and caught his shorts as they tumbled out. They were dry enough. I went over, and handed them to him without looking at him.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot you’re shy,” he said. “You weren’t so shy last night though.”
I blushed. I still didn’t look at him.
When he was dressed, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I meant everything that I said last night. And yes. I remember what I said.”
“I miss you, Jiho,” I said.
“I wish I was taking you to the party tonight. I might not go.” He pressed a kiss onto my shoulder. “But I really need to talk to a couple of people that are going to be there.”
“You should go,” I said.
“You’re right,” he said and pulled away from me. “I better get going. It’s going to be a long day.”
I stood there and watched him walk to the door. I didn’t follow him.
He started to say something that I think would have been ‘I love you’, but I believe he thought better of it. “I’ll see you at work on Monday,” he said instead. “I have a magazine shoot with your favorite people. Should be interesting,” he said and laughed that deep throaty laugh that made me tingle.
“Bye Jiho. I’ll see you Monday.” I waved and he went out the door.
Hours later, I was laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself when my front door opened. I had been crying, and with a red face and swollen eyes, I peered over the edge of the couch to see Ji-Yong looking back at me. At first his face was angry looking, but when he saw my tears, his face fell. He came over and sat with me, and pulled me into a big hug.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I was being a baby. Please don’t cry.”
That made me cry harder. I was crying about him, but mostly I was crying over Zico.
“I think I have something that might make you feel better,” he said.
I looked up at him with a very wet face.
“Wanna go to a party tonight?” he asked. “You can get all pretty, and I can take you around and show you off. People will gush over you, and tell me how lucky I am. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
In between crying hiccups I said, “That won’t happen. I’m not pretty. I’m a big nobody. People will ask why you brought a big, ugly, nobody to their party.” I started crying again.
He laughed and hugged me. “They will not silly. You will be the talk of the party. If anyone said anything like that I would kick their ass! They would never be invited to another party.”
After I calmed down, I thought about it. Maybe if I went to a party too, I wouldn’t lay here thinking about Zico with Alicia at his party all night.
I layed my head on Ji-Yong’s shoulder and said, “Okay. I want to go.” I hiccuped.
He kissed my forehead. “We will have fun. I promise. You’ll be a queen tonight. Do you have a red and black dress?”
I sat up too fast and hit his face with my head. He grabbed his chin.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I kissed his chin. “Why red and black?” I asked.
He rubbed his chin some more. “It’s a Black and Red party,” he said.
Thoughts raced through my head a mile a minute.
“I don’t have a red and black dress,” I said. “But I do have a little black dress, and a red ribbon. Would that work?”
“That would be perfect,” he said and popped a kiss on my mouth.
Guilt flooded me. Visions of the thousands of kisses Zico had given me the night before flashed before me. I stood up. “What time is the party?” I asked.
“I’ll pick you up at 7 if that’s okay,” he said. He was smiling so pretty. Guilt gnawed at me.
“What time is it now?”
He looked at his watch. “It’s 4,” he said.
“WHAT?! I have so much to do!” I grabbed his hand. “You have to go get ready too.” I pulled him to the front door. He tried to kiss me, but I put my hand on his mouth. “I don’t want you to kiss me when I look like this,” I lied.
He was laughing when I shut the door. He yelled, “I’ll be here at 7.”
I can’t believe I agreed to go to this party!
I really did have a lot to do. I got to work. I HAD to look better than Alicia tonight.
Instead of driving himself, Ji-Yong had come in a limo. He looked amazing. He wore a black tux with red accents so we matched. He had also dyed his fluffy blond hair black. It looked great.
In the back of the car, he poured both of us a glass of champagne.
“I wanted to get that kiss that I was denied earlier, but I don’t want to mess up your makeup,” he said.
I just took a sip of the champagne, and gave him a small smile. “This party must be a bit bigger than you suggested earlier,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong impression. It’s a huge event. The Black and Red party is held every year, and it’s where the help gets to mingle with the actual big wigs. A lot of deals are done tonight. A lot of careers change, begin, and end.”
I always thought it was funny that he called celebrities ‘The Help’.
“And you gave me three hours notice to get ready for a party like that?” I asked.
“Well, I was going to ask you at the beginning of the week, but you didn’t want to see me, and then last night, well, let’s just say that I had almost changed my mind,” he said.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I can’t control him. He does what he wants.”
“That’s why you should quit and work for me,” he said taking a sip.
“You’re right. I probably should,” I said.
“I don’t want to discuss all of that tonight. I just want to have fun, and make everyone jealous with my date,” he said. He downed the rest of his champagne.
“Really?” I asked. “Who are you taking?”
“HA. HA,” he said. “I’m taking the most beautiful woman in Seoul.”
“Oh my Lord! Stop that,” I said and laughed. “It surprises me every time you tell people that you date me.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I’m an average American girl and you are G-Dragon! It doesn’t make sense,” I said.
He tilted his head in that way that made me melt. “I was struck by you the first time I saw you. Everyone else was running around crazy, but this out of place girl was just sitting there all relaxed. Then you told me that you didn’t know who I was. That doesn’t happen often. Or ever. Then I got to know you, and you didn’t act like the other girls. You didn’t act like a fan, or play dumb, or simper. You didn’t treat me special or agree with everything I say. You don’t know how rare that is. You are a very pretty girl, it’s true, but I didn’t care about that. I’m surrounded by pretty girls all of the time. None of them treat me like a normal person like you do.”
“And you treat me like a celebrity. You have made me part of a world that I could never see on my own. I guess we compliment each other well,” I said.
What are you doing? I thought. You don’t need to be building up this relationship. Stop it!
When we pulled up to yet another mansion, he helped me from the car. Camera flashes came from everywhere. I hadn’t thought about being in pictures, but it made sense.
The music was loud, and the camera flashes got lost in all of the other flashing lights of the party. I felt extra sexy on G-Dragon’s arm. He kept me close. My dress was shorter than I was used to and belled out at the bottom almost like a ballerina’s tutu, only not quite that far. I wore a silky red ribbon for a belt, black sheer hose, black ballet flats, and my ruby necklace and earrings. My hair was curled and toppled from the top of my head so that the curls tickled my face and neck. I felt flirty, happy, and like being shown off. I also couldn’t quit thinking about the night before. I tried my best, but for no particular reason, a vision of naked Zico would come to me. It’s guilt making me pay for my sins.
We had walked around mingling for about an hour. I met so many people, and Ji-Yong told me that they were big deals, but I didn’t see anything that made them look different than anyone else. They could just afford better clothes.
We stood in another crowd where I listened to him talk in a language that I didn’t understand when I saw Zico. He must have just gotten there. He looked stunning as I knew he would. He actually did look different than everyone else. He seemed to glow, and he brought an energy to the room that no one else could. I watched as Alicia held onto his arm and looked as fabulously slutty as ever. She wore the shortest red silk dress that I had ever seen outside of a porn movie. She had black knee high boots on and some weird black flower thing in her hair. She spoke perfect Korean to everyone, and was just her effing perfect self. I hate her so much.
I watched her act like she and Zico had the perfect relationship, but I wondered if she knew what he was doing last night. I doubted it since he wasn’t dead.
Ji-Yong said something in my ear, but I had missed it. “What?”
“I’m sorry. You have to be bored. Want a drink?” he asked.
I just nodded and smiled and tore my eyes away from Zico.
After the newness of the party wore off, it was very boring. We walked around. He talked to people. I stood there like an adornment that couldn’t understand them, because let’s face it, that’s what I was. My eyes were always searching for Zico, and he was never hard to find. I noticed that he ignored Alicia, and she practically begged for his attention. I would feel sorry for her if she hadn’t asked for it. She was getting exactly what she deserved.
We sat down for awhile, and I rested my aching feet. I think he could tell that I was bored. Once again, I drank all of the champagne that was given to me, and I was feeling a little tipsy. I have to quit drinking so much, I thought. That’s not like me at all. It was very easy to do in this world though. I wondered if it was what they did to keep going to all of these boring parties.
He was deep in conversation with another group of men that all looked alike so I whispered, “I’m going to the little girls room.”
“Oh, do you want me to take you?” he asked.
“No, no. I know where it is. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just don’t move or I’ll never find you,” I said and kissed his cheek, leaving a red lip print.
The bathroom was interesting. I expected to stand in line, and I did for a few minutes, but when it was my turn, I almost didn’t go in. Everything in the bathroom was mirrored. Everything. The walls, the sink, the toilet, the floor. It was uncomfortable. It felt like you were being watched from all sides, and I could look up my own skirt. I hurried.
When I walked out of the door, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a dark room. I could tell it was a huge room from the echo. Warm familiar hands ran up my sides and around my back, pulling me into a tight embrace. A familiar mouth covered mine. I had been given thousands of these kisses and I wanted a million more.
“You should be here with me,” he said against my neck.
“You should be here with me,” I told him.
“I want you again tonight,” he said as he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and I shivered.
“I’m yours,” I said.
“Don’t let him kiss you tonight,” he said.
“Don’t let her kiss you tonight,” I countered.
“I never kiss her,” he said. “All of my kisses are for you.”
Then he gave me a deep sensuous kiss, and opened the door. He let me walk out and shut the door behind me. I made my way back to Ji-Yong. I knew my lipstick was gone, and I prayed it wasn’t all over my face. I stopped by the bar and wiped my face with a napkin as discreetly as I could. I dug around in my purse, and turning my back to the crowd, I reapplied my lipstick. I was just drunk enough not to care how good of a job I did.
I couldn’t believe that had just happened. I was swaying on my feet as I made my way back to the table, and it wasn’t all because of the alcohol. I sat down beside Ji-Yong. He reached over and grabbed my hand. Guilt flooded my whole body. I was going to have to break up with Ji-Yong. Not tonight but soon. It made me want to cry thinking about it. I would miss him so much. He had been wonderful to me. It wasn’t fair. I knew that even if I didn’t get Zico back that I would break up with him anyway. I loved Zico too much to do that to Ji-Yong.
He looked over at me and said, “Let’s walk around a little more, and then we will go.”
“Alright,” I said.
It seemed like there was a never ending crowd of people dying to talk to Ji-Yong. They tried to include me for the first few minutes, and then I was forgotten. Standing there, I felt my phone vibrating in my purse. Looking at Ji-Yong talking to the throng of girls that were all vying for his attention, I didn’t think anyone would notice if I looked at my phone.
Zico: Don’t say anything. Turn around and walk up the staircase.
I looked around, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. No one was paying attention to me so I did what I was told. I kept looking at Ji-Yong as I made my way up the crowded stairs. He hadn’t noticed I was gone. I stood at the top and looked out over the party. It was loud and flashy, but no one was having fun. This wasn’t really a party. It was a business meeting with a pretty background.
My phone vibrated again.
Zico: Walk down the hall. Go into the third door on the right.
It was like a game. I took one more look at Ji-Yong and he still hadn’t missed me. I found the door and opened it to find a dark room. I stepped inside and closed the door. It was creepy standing there in the dark, not knowing exactly what was going to happen. Then, I felt the hair being moved away from the back of my neck. A very sweet kiss was placed there. The kisses continued down my back. Teeth clicked against my zipper, and with a gentle tug, pulled it down to it’s end. Hands wrapped around my ankles. They moved up slowly to my waist. That’s when I lost my tights.
My dress fell to the floor. I was picked up and carried to a bed. Without any words, Zico made love to me like he never had. It was soft and sensual and complete. There was no harshness, no hurry, and no motive other than to show love.
When we were done, he helped me dress in the dark, and led me to the door. He whispered in my ear, “I love you,” and opened the door for me to leave. No one even looked at me as I made my way to the bathroom. I fixed my clothes and makeup the best that I could, and went out to find Ji-Yong. I was doing everything in a daze.
Ji-Yong wasn’t at the bottom of the staircase any longer. I hoped he wasn’t worried. Feeling swimmy headed, I sat down at a table.
Like a bomb exploding beside me all of a sudden, Seung-hyun jumped into the seat beside me and said, “Look who I found! My new muse!”
The huge crowd that was following him around surrounded the table. The ones who could grab a seat did. A man in a very flamboyant red velvet suit and crazy little top hat sat beside me and immediately began twirling one of my curls around his finger. I had no idea who he was.
Oddly enough, Seung-hyung, who was usually dressed like a peacock, was wearing a subdued black tuxedo just like Ji-Yong. He probably had dressed Ji-Yong now that I thought about it.
The way that this crowd was acting, I thought that they may be on one of Seung-hyun’s little pills.
“Why are you sitting here all alone, little one?” he asked.
“I got lost, and now I can’t find Ji-Yong,” I said.
“You look really cute, but next time you should let me dress you,” he said and slid his finger back and forth under my shoulder strap.
“I will definitely do that,” I told him.
Seung-hyun looked up and found a man that was walking around with a tray and said something in Korean. A couple of minutes later, we all had a glass of champagne in our hands and three bottles were on the table. I had found the party.
I noticed Zico across the room. He was staring into me. He also only wore his rumpled black dress shirt and tie. I hoped he hadn’t lost that jacket. It was a really great look on him. He raised an eyebrow and his glass of champagne toward me so I did the same back to him. I downed the entirity of the pink liquid. My tongue was numb by now, and I was completely drunk.
It had been at least half an hour since I had seen Ji-Yong. I was starting to wonder if he left without me. I counted six glasses of champagne that I had drunk sitting there. Seung-hyun and his group were playing a game and laughing like crazy and I had no idea what was going on. Every now and then, someone would say something, the rest would laugh, and everyone would drink. So I did the same. I was starting to feel sick. Zico was still watching me, and then I spied Ji-Yong on the stairs. He was leaning on the balcony and he was staring at me too.
I tried to get up to go to him, but when I stood up, everything went fuzzy, the room tilted, and the last thing I remembered was the sensation of falling on top of T.O.P.
The next thing I knew, I was being carried. I could see stars. Real stars. The cold air felt incredible. Someone laid me in the seat of the limo, and I fell asleep. I could remember being carried into the elevator of my apartment building, and then into the bedroom. That was it for the Black and Red party, and for the rest of the night.
I didn’t bring Ji-Yong home with me that night. I was just too tired. My body was tired, and so was my mind.
Making a cup of hot tea, I turned on my stereo and slipped into a hot bath. I thought about my plan. Do I really have a chance of getting my life back? I wondered. Am I just being pathetic? Should I break all ties here and go home? Should I move farther away and continue to see Ji-Yong? What would Zico do if he were in my place? WWZD?
I knew what Zico would do. The real Zico. Not this weak imitation that Alicia had bullied into existence. He would take back what was his. He wouldn’t let anything stop him. And any woman that was worth having him would do the same thing. He would respect that.
I started to drift off so I got out of the tub, and put on my pajamas. I took my tea to the living room and made a bed on the couch. I used the remote to open all of the shades so that I could see the lights of the city. I left the lights off and the stereo on. Laying on the couch, I stared across the city to Zico’s hotel and noticed that all of the lights in the penthouse were on.
I wondered if they were throwing a party. It was midnight and they were lit up like a Christmas tree. I stared at that building until my eyes became too heavy to hold up. As I drifted off to sleep, a Block B song came on the stereo.
The next morning I made it to the station at 7:15 A.M. Even Zico hadn’t made it there yet. I planned to be waiting in his dressing room with his outfit for the morning radio show. The only reason he had to have one was because it was being streamed live online. I had decided on baggy black cargo pants, a teal green t-shirt, and his leather jacket with the dragon embroidered on the back. This time I knew he would be wearing this for sure because I was going to put it on him myself. No more hiding or leaving or being shy. I had to fight bitch with bitch, and I thought I just might have a touch of the blood of the dragon in me. I was actually excited for the coming battle. Bring it on Alicia! You don’t know what you have awoken!
The door opened at 8 and Zico came in surrounded by his usual flurry of people. He didn’t notice me at first so I got to have a good long look at him. He looked terrible. His eyes were red, and he had black circles upon black circles under them. His hair, that was now black, was a complete mess. He didn’t exude his usual energy. He just looked tired. Almost defeated. That’s not my Zico, I thought. But that’s okay. I’m going to find him and bring him back. No one can bring out his dragon better than me. I smiled a little behind my hand.
Standing, I waited for him to wave off the others so that he could get dressed. He rubbed his eyes with both hands. When he looked up, he finally saw me. He jumped up, almost knocking over a little woman with a clipboard. “Alright,” he said loudly. “Everyone out! I have to get dressed.”
They scurried out like little obedient mice.
I walked over and began to unzip the garment bag without saying a word.
“Well, this is a surprise,” he said.
Without looking at him, I pulled out the jacket and said, “This is still my job.”
“Yeah, but I thought you had forgotten that,” he said.
I felt him come up close behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck.
“No, I never forgot,” I said. I pulled out the t-shirt.
“How have you been?” he asked.
“I’ve been doing okay. What about you?”
“I’ve been better,” he said.
I took the pants out of the garment bag, and turned around. He was very close so I had to step back. I laid the pants down, and looked up at him. His eyes looked sad. Putting my hands on either side of his face, I took a good look at him, and said, “You look so tired.” I was being very tender with him, because I could see that that was what he needed right now. Alicia didn’t seem to know how to do anything but batter him. She liked to keep him like a bug under her slutty stilettos.
As if I had called the devil herself, Alicia came into the room and stopped dead. For a moment, she just took in the sight of me standing there with Zico’s face in my hands. She looked completely crestfallen.
I dropped my hands, and Zico and I looked at her.
“What in the HELL is going on in here?” she asked.
Before he could answer, I said, “I’m dressing Zico.”
I didn’t look at him, but when he spoke, I could hear the smile in his voice. “That IS her job,” he said.
She looked at the garment bag in her hands in bewilderment, but that didn’t last long. Her inner bitch bounced back fast.
“Don’t bother,” she said. “I have his clothes here. You can have the day off.”
“Sorry, only Jiho can dismiss me,” I said. I had reverted to his real name because it was so much more intimate, and I knew it really needled her when I called him that. Without waiting to be dismissed, I reached out and unbuttoned his pants. That seemed to be a step too far for her.
She threw her garment bag onto the ground, and came for me.
Realizing what was about to happen, Zico turned to stand in front of me. “Alicia, stop,” he said.
She kept coming with a growl deep in her throat, and her claws raised.
He grabbed her wrists, and said, “I told you to stop. NOW STOP!”
She did, but she was still breathing hard. “But Jico,” she whined.
“No,” he said. “You need to go outside and wait for me. I need to get dressed or I’m going to be late.”
She stared daggers into me. “But I dress you,” she started to say when he interrupted her.
“You dress Block B. It’s always been Elizabeth’s job to choose the clothes for my solo work.”
The last thing she wanted to do was leave me alone with him. She was right to feel that way. I was a threat, and she knew it.
Still shooting daggers at me with her eyes, she turned and left without another word. I knew that she and Zico would fight tonight, and I was fine with that.
He turned back to me when she was gone and said, “I’m sorry about that. She has as much trouble with giving up control as I do.”
“I understand,” I said. I smiled up at him, and reached for his pants again.
He started to stop me, but then he stood still and let me unbutton and unzip his pants.
I realized he wasn’t wearing underwear. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t bring any underwear,” I said.
“I don’t need any today,” he said.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m not wearing any either.” I winked.
The look on his face was priceless, and I couldn’t help but smile when I turned to grab his pants. I gave them to him and waited for him to pull them on. When he stood up, I put my hands flat against his stomach, and slowly slid his shirt up his chest. “Want to finish taking this off for me please?” I asked.
He slowly pulled the shirt off over his head without ever taking his eyes off of me. I was starting to see a little spark coming back into his eyes. He was doing that cocky little crooked thing with his mouth too.
“Something has changed with you,” he said.
I handed him the jacket. “Has it?” I asked.
I had figured out how to play the game. I had the best teacher after all. All I had to do was follow Alicia’s example. I kind of felt bad for pulling Zico in so many directions. Kind of.
“I think so,” he said and smiled. It was so good to see that smile.
“You had better get your shoes on and get out there,” I said.
He looked at his watch. “Do you want me to leave the clothes in here when I’m done or have them sent to your apartment?”
“I’ll be here so I’ll just take them.”
“You’re staying?” he asked and raised his eyebrows.
“I am. I want to watch the show. Is that okay?” I asked in an innocent tone.
“Absolutely,” he said and shoved his bare feet into a pair of sneakers.
“I’ll come and help you change so I’ll just pick up the outfit then,” I said.
Opening the door, he said, “Really?”
“That is part of my job after all,” I said.
He just nodded with a silly little grin, and stepped out into the hurricane of staff waiting for him.
I waited for five minutes and then went out and found a seat. I made sure I was away from where Alicia was sitting. When the show started, someone came by and offered me a drink. Once again, it was in a glass with a straw. I started to turn it down, but then I had an idea. I took it and sat it on the table beside me. I asked if they could bring me a coffee cup with a lid, and the man went to find one. I was going to make a stop at the police station on the way home. They knew that someone had poisoned me, and I thought that maybe they could check this drink for me. I had a baggie in my purse that I could carry the glass in.
The show was half over when the man finally brought me a coffee cup. I poured some of the soda into it and put on the lid. I went into the bathroom and poured the rest down the sink, and stuck the empty glass in the baggy and sealed it. I went back in, and watched the rest of the show. Just before it was over, I took my sketchy drink and went back to Zico’s dressing room. I straightened out his street clothes while I waited.
The door opened and closed behind me. I thought it was Zico until I heard a high pitched whiny voice say, “Okay bitch! What are you up to?”
I slowly turned to look at Alicia. I gave her a look of shock. Putting my hand to my chest, I said, “I’m not up to anything. I’m just doing my job.”
She smirked. “You may as well give up, little girl. I know what you are up to, and it won’t work. Jico is mine and always has been. He can’t resist me.” She held up her little finger. “He’s wrapped right around this.
I shouldn’t have stooped to her level but I just couldn’t help myself. Holding up my middle finger, I said, “This finger has more room for him.”
Her face turned a tomato kind of red. “You had better be careful. You might end up like your fat ugly bodyguard.”
A cold shiver ran through me. I just looked at her. Why didn’t I see it before? It’s her.
We stared at each other for a whole minute before Zico came in. He looked from Alicia to me and back again. “Alicia, can you wait for me in the car please?” he said.
“No. I can’t,” she said. “I’ll wait right here.” She took the chair that I had waited in earlier.
I went to Zico, and ignored her. I could feel her eyes digging into the back of my head though.
He still looked back and forth at us as he took off his jacket. I hung it up. The silence was heavy in the room.
Once again, I slid his shirt slowly up his chest.
“HEY!” Alicia yelled.
I turned my head and very innocently said, “I’m just helping him change. That’s part of my job.”
“He can change his own damn clothes!” she said.
I looked up at Zico, and he was giving me his You are being a naughty girl look.
What? I mouthed silently.
He shook his head the tiniest bit, closed his eyes, and turned to laugh a little laugh, and finish taking off his shirt.
I handed him his street shirt and reached for the button on his pants.
“If you touch that, I’ll rip your face off,” said Alicia. The growl was back.
Now Zico mouthed to me, I’ll get it.
I waited and handed him his other pants.
He walked around me to sit and put on his shoes, so I put the clothes on hangers and wrapped them in the garment bag.
Walking to the door, I turned and said, “Jiho, I think I’ve lost your schedule. Could you email it to me please?”
“Sure,” he said.
I waved at them both and said, “Bye. See ya’ll soon.” Boy, my accent sure does come out when I’m being mean.
Zico waved and I didn’t even bother to look at Alicia. I’m sure she waved something too and I didn’t want to see it. I left, taking my coffee cup with me.
When I left the radio station, my stomach was growling, but I decided to take my suspicious drink to the police station before getting something to eat. That was a mistake because it took forever. Finally, I talked to a very nice officer that took the drink and the cup. He filled out a form and promised to get back to me soon with the results.
It was already noon, and I was famished. I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I didn’t feel like eating alone so I sent a text to Ji-Yong to see if he was available for some lunch. I got a text back almost immediately.
Ji-Yong: I am starving. Where would you like to go?
Elizabeth: I know this is very American of me, but I’m dying for some pizza
Ji-Yong: I’ll come and pick you up :D
Elizabeth: Can you pick me up at the police station? Lol
Ji-Yong: ???????????????????????
Elizabeth: I’ll explain over lunch.
Ji-Yong showed up ten minutes later driving a flashy little yellow two seater. I had no idea what kind of car it was, but it was very cute. I had learned never to say that to a man though. They get all bent out of shape over cuteness. I started to get in when he opened his door and said, “Don’t you dare!”
He walked over to my side of the car, bent me back and gave me a dizzy making kiss, and then opened the door and held it for me to get in.
Trying to gather my senses, I watched as he walked around and got back into the car. He was wearing a white shirt without sleeves that was open down each side, and I could see most of his tattoos. For some strange reason, looking at those and thinking of the last time that I licked them, tickled me in intimate places.
He turned to me and gave me a huge smile. “I’m going to read your mind,” he said.
“Wow! You can do that?” I said, and laughed a little.
“I can. Right now, I’m seeing that you want to eat pizza!”
I gave him a shocked look. “That’s amazing!”
“I’m also seeing that you would like some good old fashioned American pizza,” he said.
“They should call you the Incredible G-Dragon!” I said.
“They do,” he said and giggled.
I laughed too.
We went to Pizza Hut. I didn’t even know that Seoul had Pizza Huts. I was ecstatic.
Ji-Yong sat across from me, and wrapped his feet around mine. “Soooo,” he said. “Why did I pick you up in front of the police station?”
“Because I was a very bad girl,” I teased.
“I already know that,” he said and winked. “But really. What’s going on?”
“Well, you know I was poisoned right?”
“Yeeees,” he said
“That morning, at the television station, someone had given me a drink,” I said.
“I know that. That’s why you aren’t allowed to drink anything that isn’t sealed.”
“Today, at the radio station, someone brought me a drink again. So I kept it and took it to the police to let them test it,” I said.
He spied the tea that was sitting in front of me now. I went to take a drink, but he grabbed the straw, and threw it. He put his hand over the top of my drink and shook his head. “We will get you a bottled drink,” he said.
“What about the pizza?” I said. I was joking, but he didn’t take it as a joke.
He rubbed his chin with his thumb, and looked up at me from a slightly bowed gaze. “I didn’t think about that.”
I reached across the table and caressed his cheek. “Sweet Ji-Yong,” I said, “We have to eat. I’m sure that we are perfectly safe here.”
He leaned his cheek into my hand and then turned and kissed my palm.
“You’re right,” he said. “But I was really afraid. Watching you throwing up all of that blood. I thought you were going to die.”
“If I hadn’t been with you, I might have. I would have been alone. But I’m good as new so you don’t have to worry.”
Just then, I remembered that I hadn’t told Kim Hwan where I was going when I left this morning. It was odd that he hadn’t called or sent me a text. I sent him one.
I got a little nervous when I didn’t get a text back immediately. What is going on? I thought of Kim Marco and terror swept through me.
Ji-Yong must have noticed the change on my face because he grabbed my hand and said, “What’s wrong?
“I don’t know. But something is! I need to call Kim Hwan. He’s not answering me.”
“Okay, don’t panic. I’m sure it’s fine,” he said.
I was shaking as I tried to find the button to reach the giant body guard.
Ji-Yong reached over and took my face in both of his hands the same way that I had done earlier for Zico. “It’s going to be okay,” he said softly.
It worked. I felt calmer looking at him. I nodded and found the name in my contacts.
Listening to the rings made me panic again. I started to count out loud. “Three…four…five.” The voice mail picked up. I was back to shaking.
Ji-Yong took the phone from me and made the call himself. I became more anxious not being able to hear the rings. Finally, he said, “Hello. I have someone here who desperately needs to speak with you.”
I practically tore the phone out of his hands. “Kim Hwan?”
“Miss Elizabeth! Where are you?” he said in a panicked tone.
“I was about to ask you the same thing! You didn’t answer me!” I felt like crying. “I thought you were hurt. Or dead.” The last part came out in a whisper.
“I’ve been looking for you! I guess I was in a dead zone,” he said.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had to go to work this morning and I forgot to tell you. That was my fault. I’m just so relieved that you are okay.”
“Ditto!” he said. “Where are you? I’ll come there.”
“You know what? I’m with Ji-Yong right now, and I’m perfectly safe. I owe you a day off for scaring you. Go and rest. I’ll be home in just a little while.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” he said.
“It really is,” I said. “Just please, for the love of God, text me every now and then and let me know you are okay.”
“Just who is the body guard here?” he asked.
We both laughed. It was mostly nervous laughter since we were both coming down from a fright.
“I’ll go and sit with Marco for awhile,” he said.
“That’s a great idea,” I said. “I’ll come by there this evening to see him, and we can just come home together.”
“Alright. I’ll see you there in a while,” he said.
“Bye Kim Hwan,” I said and hung up.
I was still shaking, but it was mostly from the adrenaline.
Ji-Yong was resting his chin in his hand. He said, “You really should listen to me more often. I told you I’m psychic and that it was going to be fine.”
I smiled. “I really should. You prove your power of sight all of the time,” I said.
We devoured the pizza.
Back in the car, Ji-Yong turned to me and said, “I know exactly what you need.”
“Another insight from the Incredible G-Dragon?” I asked.
“Something like that,” he said. Reaching down, he took my hand and kissed it.
At that moment, A realization struck me. I liked Ji-Yong. A lot. I really really liked him. But I didn’t love him. Looking into his eyes gives me a warm feeling and looking at him turns me on, but I wasn’t in love with him. I felt happy when I was with him and we had fun. I just didn’t feel love for him. However, when I was with Zico, I felt completely alive. My skin tingled, my heart beat faster, and everything was all about Zico. He consumed me. He filled all of he spaces. The room, the air, and everything else was full of Zico. The rest of the world was smaller when I was in his presence. I was completely in love with Zico. Actually, I was in love with Jiho.
I had a huge problem. Ji-Yong. He was wonderful to me. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I also didn’t want to hurt him. It was going to happen at some point and it was completely unfair. So in that moment, I made two decisions. I would no longer sleep with Ji-Yong, and I would never lie to him about my feelings for him. I was glad that he couldn’t really read my mind.
He winked at me, put the car in gear, and we were off to a place that only he knew about.
After about fifteen minutes, we pulled up to a tiny little building. It was painted pink and had a mural on one side of a goddess bending over to bless a child. Her hair was a mass of vines that were hanging from the top of the building. It was very clever.
Taking off his seatbelt, Ji-Yong turned to face me again. “Now listen. You have to keep an open mind.”
I gave him a suspicious look. “I think I’m pretty open,” I said cautiously.
“Don’t automatically say no when we go in here, okay?”
“Alright. I won’t say no immediately. BUT I am keeping my right to say no at a later time,” I said.
“It’s a deal,” he said, and got out of the car.
I was a little apprehensive. I knew how wild Ji-Yong’s wild side could get. I looked at the building again and worried that it was some kind of sex toy shop.
He opened my door and we went inside.
I immediately wanted to say no. I didn’t. I had made a promise.
A giant of a woman came out from behind a curtain. She had a thousand gorgeous braids that fell from the top of her head to her knees. She was also wearing a lot of ink. I wasn’t one that thought a lot of tattoos looked good on a person. This woman, however, was intriguing. She wore a halter top that exposed more than it covered, but I was sure that was done on purpose to show off the muscles that she had worked so hard to get. Her shorts were like bikini bottoms on her. Very muscular, well defined butt cheeks hung out of the bottom, and I would dare anyone to say anything to her about it. She had a nose ring that I thought was called a septum piercing. Both eye brows were also pierced. I couldn’t help but notice that she had extremely kind eyes.
When she saw Ji-Yong, she rushed over to give him a hug.
“G! I haven’t seen you in forever. You here to get some more ink?”
“Not today,” he said. “Soo Jin, I want you to meet Elizabeth.”
She took my hand in her giant one and said, “Hello Elizabeth. It’s very nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too,” I said.
Turning back to Ji-Yong, she said, “So, why did I get so lucky today?”
He looked at me nervously. “I’m hoping…” he paused and looked at me again. “Thaaaaat you will help me convince Elizabeth to get a little tat.”
“Ji-Yooooong,” I whined. I put my hands over my eyes. “I can’t do that. Not on a whim.” When I put my hands down, Soo Jin was smiling at me very sweetly.
“You know Elizabeth, I am an expert at doing tiny delicate tats. Very feminine and sexy,” she said.
I looked over at Ji-Yong, and dammit, he was giving me the puppy eyes. That was my biggest weakness. I thought back to the day that I had done the same thing to Kim Marco when I made him get an earring. So this is Karma coming back to smack me.
Reluctantly, I said, “Okaaaaaay.”
Ji-Yong jumped up and down like a little boy.
Soo Jin put a finger over her lips and studied me for a moment. “I think…” she said and squinted at me. “That you are either a heart girl, a flower girl, or a butterfly girl.”
I tried to hide my smile, and I said, “I’m a butterfly girl.”
She smiled and said, “Don’t be ashamed of that. G is a butterfly girl too.”
“HEY!” he yelled.
We all had a good laugh. It wasn’t until after it was done that I realized she was an expert at calming nerves. It was a great skill to have for a tattoo artist.
I looked at a couple of books of her artwork, and then I found the perfect butterfly. She told me that no one had ever requested that one, and Ji-Yong asked her if she could take it out of the book so that mine would be a one of a kind.
“Only for you, G,” she said and pinched his cheek.
We decided to put it on my left wrist, palm side, and to the far left because Ji-Yong said he wanted to see it when he held my hand. It only took ten minutes and it didn’t hurt half as much as I thought it would. Now I had a sweet little pink butterfly on my wrist.
Ji-Yong and Soo Jin talked for a few more minutes, and then we left.
Back in the car, Ji-Yong was extremely happy.
“You are an amazing woman!” he said through his smiles.
“No I’m not,” I said. “You gave me the puppy eyes!”
“You mean that is all I had to do all this time?” he said.
“Nooo. You can’t use that against me!” I said.
“Sweetheart, you are the wildest woman I have ever met,” he said.
“Ji-Yong, you can’t say that after we just left Soo Jin. That woman has got to be the wildest woman you know,” I said.
He thought for a moment. “Okay. You might have me there. But you are the wildest woman I’ve ever dated.”
“Well, thank you. I think,” I said.
“I promise you, it’s a compliment,” he said. “I’ve never met a woman that is so willing to try new things and to take chances. I always look forward to seeing you because I know that it’s never going to be boring.”
“Will it make you sad to know that I’m really just a people pleaser?” I asked.
“Not at all. Even a people pleaser has their limits. You are more fearless than you know.”
I caressed his cheek again, and lovingly rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb. If he only knew how afraid I was most of the time.
“So, do you have any more surprises up your sleeve for me today?” I asked.
He raised his arms in the air. “No sleeves,” he said. He flashed me that million dollar smile. “However, I was invited to a wine tasting at Seung-hyun’s house. Would you like to go to that?”
I panicked a little. “I don’t know anything about wine,” I said.
“You don’t have to. It’s fabulously pretentious, and I usually just ignore most of what they say. The wine is usually top notch though. It would be like we were party crashers.”
“I’m not dressed for something like that,” I said. “I don’t think I even own anything fancy enough for that.”
“What better excuse to buy something new?” he said.
I thought about it for a moment. This is crazy. You know what? It’s probably the last time I’ll ever have a chance like this in my entire life.
I looked at him and smiled. “Let’s go,” I said.
“YES!” he said and shifted the car into gear.
I had no idea where we were going, but I often didn’t. All of a sudden, Ji-Yong pulled into a parking lot and got out his phone.
“I was thinking about it, and I’m not that great at picking out the right girl clothes for something like this,” he said. He hit a contact on his phone. “I know who would love to dress you though.”
Should I be worried? I thought.
“Hyung! I need a favor.” He listened for a minute and then said, “I have a date for the wine tasting.” He listened again. “No. It’s not her.” Glancing at me, he rolled his eyes. “Listen, I need your help.”
The rest was in Korean. I was in the dark again. I HAVE to start taking Korean language classes!
Once he hung up, he gave me a very sneaky side long glance.
“Will your friend help us?” I asked
“He can’t wait!” Ji-Yong said. “He kind of lives for these kinds of things.”
“Can I ask who the ‘her’ was that he was so worried about?” I asked brazenly.
“Just an old girlfriend. I haven’t seen her for a long time, but he hated her guts. He’s always afraid I’m going back to her, but that will NEVER happen. I did that three times, and trust me, that was the charm.”
Oh great! Another crazy ex!
The rest of the ride was comfortable. We talked about a lot of things, but mostly about me. I told him about the fashion show I was on, and how I got my job with Zico. He finally asked about the scars on my chest and my back, and I told him what happened with Red and Jack. He was astounded. I told him about Jong. Well, some things about Jong. We talked about what it was like to live in America. Then he told me what it was like to be onstage for a huge concert, a couple of past girlfriends, and a little about his family and the other members of Big Bang.
It was about a forty minute drive, and I was surprised to see that we were pulling up to T.O.P’s house on the hill.
“I thought we were going shopping,” I said.
“In a way,” he said and parked in front of the big double front doors.
Ji-Yong opened my door for me, and we went inside. He didn’t knock, which reminded me of Zico. Taking my hand, he led me up a majestic curving staircase, turning left at the top, and heading for a room at the end of a long hallway.
There was T.O.P. as big as life itself. He was dressed in a pinstriped black suit with a flamboyant purple shirt and a tie in a darker shade of purple. He looked impeccable with every shiny black hair in place. He turned around and walked over to us with his hand out ready to take mine. “There’s my moon and stars,” he said.
“You remembered,” I said.
“Of course I do. I’m like an elephant. I don’t forget anything,” he said.
I had to laugh. He was too good to be true.
“Ji-Yong, I laid something out for you in the blue room,” he said as he took my hand. “And as for you.” He looked me up and down. “I picked out five dresses. Looking at you again, I’m thinking no. I know exactly what I want to see on you.”
I watched him as he walked over to a wall of sliding doors. He opened one and stood back a little. I saw that it was full of women’s clothing. They were all in order by color. He reached for a long lacy dress in maroon. Holding it up, I heard him whisper to himself, “Perfect.”
He came over and held it against my skin. “This one,” he said.
“Are you sure maroon is a good color for me?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? With that white skin and auburn hair. It’s THE color for you. Besides, this one is wine colored. It’s the perfect shade of maroon for your eyes. Wine and chocolate always go together perfectly.” We stood there for a moment before he said, “You can change back there.” He pointed to a changing screen in the corner.
I went behind the screen and started to undress, and I realized that he hadn’t left the room. I peeked around and he was sitting in a chair against the opposite wall. He was slouched down a bit with his long legs elegantly stretched out and crossed at the ankle.
Okay, I thought. Whatever.
I continued to change, but I hated the silence so I asked, “What should I call you?”
“Most people call me Master, but you may call me Seung-hyun,” he said and then burst out in boisterous laughter.
I laughed too. “Well, I feel honored,” I said. “May I ask you another question?”
“Of course. Anything. I’m an open book. An elephant and an open book,” he said.
“Why do you have a closet full of women’s clothes?”
“Is that strange?” he asked.
“A bit,” I said. “I don’t know any other man that has women’s clothing hanging in their closet.”
“I have many reasons. And no. I’m not a cross dresser. I am a collector, and I think some dresses are works of art. Also, my friends and I sometimes have impromptu photo shoots here. Sometimes I gift them to people that I deem worthy. There are a lot of reasons for a man to own women’s clothing,” he said.
“Hmm, you’re right!” I said.
“I usually am,” he said and laughed that boisterous laugh again. He really did tickle himself. And me too.
“Did Ji-Yong tell you that I don’t know anything about wine?” I asked.
“No. It doesn’t matter though. The only thing that matters is that you enjoy it.”
I heard the unmistakable clicking sound of men’s dress shoes entering the room.
“What do you think, hyung?” said Ji-Yong.
“I think I should choose your clothes every day,” said Seung-hyun.
“Ha Ha funny,” said Ji-Yong.
I looked in the mirror, and wondered if I pulled this dress off like he thought I was going to. The style was made for a thinner woman even though this was in my size. It might have also been made for a more flat chested woman. I think I had a little more cleavage than was supposed to actually show. It was a gorgeous dress. It was sleeveless and high waisted. My chubby middle made the dress bell out more than it was supposed to. From mid-thigh down, it was sheer gauzy lace with swirl accents throughout. It hung to the ground. I felt very sexy in it even if I was the wrong body type.
I stepped out and walked over to where they were. Seung-hyun stood up and said, “Magnificent!”
“You don’t think it’s the wrong style on me?” I asked.
“Are you questioning my expert opinion?” he asked.
“What makes you an expert?” I said.
He looked at Ji-Yong. “She is a sassy little one.”
Ji-Yong smiled from ear to ear and said, “YES she is! And you love it!”
“I do,” said Seung-hyun. To me he said, “Trust me. You look amazing. Now for shoes. Follow me,” he said and turned to open another closet door.
This closet was floor to ceiling shoes. They were also arranged by color.
“Are shoes art as well?” I asked.
“I have a fetish,” said Seung-hyun as he turned and gave me a sexy smirk with one raised eyebrow. “Feet make me hard.”
I looked at Ji-Yong. He just grinned and nodded his head.
Seung-hyun handed me a pair of shoes and said, “Would you like help putting those on?”
That’s when Ji-Yong spoke up, “She can manage.”
Ji-Yong walked me around the mansion and showed me the amazing works of art that Seung-hyun had collected. The house itself was a work of art and a bit of a maze. We made our way to the side garden where the tasting was being held. I counted twelve other couples and five singles. Ji-Yong introduced me to most of them, but only a couple spoke any English. I didn’t understand anything that was being said but it was okay. I wasn’t really that interested in wine. We walked in a wide circle meeting various people, and then came to the wine table. I looked around not knowing what to do.
Seung-hyun excused himself from the beautiful woman that had occupied most of his time, and came over to where Ji-Yong and I were standing.
“You look so lost little one,” he said. “Let me give you a lesson.”
Reaching down and choosing a bottle, he turned to me and said, “This is an acacia champagne. If you were a wine, you would be this one.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“It’s sweet and tastes like honey,” he said.
I blushed. I also noticed that a few people had started paying attention to what we were doing.
“To begin with, make sure you have a cold glass.” He put a champagne glass in front of me. “Now, you are going to use all of your senses to experience this champagne. When I uncork this bottle, I want you to listen to the effervescence as the bubbles escape.”
He popped the cork and held up the bottle for me to listen to. “Now, you are going to notice the clarity of the wine. You want to see the tiniest of bubbles. The finer the bubbles, the better the champagne,” he said.
I watched as he poured the golden liquid into the glass.
“We wait for a few moments for the wine to open. Then we are going to smell it. I won’t go into the notes of a wine today, but I want you to notice that this one is floral.”
After a moment, he picked up the glass, and held it to his nose. “This one is particularly fragrant,” he said and held it under my nose. The little bubbles tickled. It did smell floral.
“The last thing is to taste the wine,” he said. He took the tiniest of sips and stood there with his eyes closed. Finally, he smiled and opened his eyes. “Deliciously warm and creamy. This is definitely you,” he said.
I didn’t know exactly what he meant by that, but I didn’t question him either.
“Your turn,” he said.
I took the glass and started to take a sip.
Whispering in my ear, he said, “Hold it in your mouth for a second before you swallow. After you swallow, pay close attention to the strength of the tastes and how long they linger on your tongue. The longer you can taste the different flavors, the better quality of champagne it is.”
I took a sip and held it in my mouth.
Still whispering, he said, “Now swallow. Find all of the flavors. The honey. The acacia, the tang and the sweetness.”
I tasted all of those. Then he whispered, “Open your mouth.”
I obeyed. He softly placed a small piece of chocolate on my tongue. “Now let that melt in your mouth.”
It was the sexiest moment that I had ever had in front of a group of people. The sound of his deep voice whispering in my ear, and the feeling of his breath on my skin, blowing the little curls against my face and making me shiver. Wine tasting is very erotic, I thought. I also noticed that as I stood there with my eyes closed that it had gotten extremely quiet. The only sounds were the birds and Seung-hyun’s whispers.
I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was watching us, even Ji-Yong. I was rather turned on, and for some reason, all of the eyes on me intensified that feeling. For such an innocent act, I felt like we had been spied on during a sexual encounter. Seung-hyun had to be one of the most interesting people I had ever met in my life. He really was larger than life.
“Well?” asked Seung-hyun.
My voice cracked when I said, “That was incredible.”
He began to clap, and everyone followed him. “One day, you will come back and I will teach you a lot more. I’ll turn you into a wine collector,” he said. Putting the cork back into the bottle, he said, “And this bottle is a gift to you. Would you be insulted if I named it after you?”
I’m sure there was a look of surprise on my face. “What do you mean?”
“This is a new champagne from my vineyard in Argentina, and it doesn’t have a name yet. It truly reminds me of you, and I would be honored if you would allow me to name it after you.”
I looked around at Ji-Yong who was smiling over his own glass of wine. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning way.
“No, Seung-hyun. I would be the one who is honored,” I said.
“Wonderful!” he said and everyone clapped again. “When I have them labeled, I’ll send you a new bottle.”
“Could you sign it for me?” I asked.
“Of course I will,” he said and kissed my cheek.
The crowd dispersed and started to mingle again.
Ji-Yong took my hand and led me away from the rest. “That was interesting,” he said in a low tone.
“Wasn’t it though?” I said.
“Made me kind of hot to be honest,” he said.
I was blushing again. So it wasn’t just me.
“I think we should get out of here,” he said.
I agreed.
Without even saying goodbye, he grabbed my hand and took me back into the house. I assumed we were going to change back into our clothes, but he took me in another direction. We went upstairs and into a bedroom that I actually recognized. It was the room where we had first had sex, and where Zico had walked in on us. He slammed the door and locked it with a click, and then he was on me. His hands and mouth were devouring me. I remembered the promises I had made to myself just this afternoon, and I knew I was about to break both of them.
Oh well, I thought. One last time won’t hurt anything.
With that thought, I gave in completely, and let him sweep me away in what was the most mind blowing love making we had ever had.
When we finally left, I was more than ready to go home. It had been a roller coaster of a day. I was coming to find that that was the life of a celebrity. Their lives were crazy, but they made them that way.
Seung-hyun wouldn’t let me leave without taking the dress, the shoes, and the bottle of champagne with me. He also kissed me full on the mouth right in front of Ji-Yong just before we walked out the door. I was afraid that it would cause a fight but Ji-Yong didn’t even blink.
In the car, I asked, “Um, what was that?”
Putting on his seatbelt, he said, “Which part?”
“The kiss at the end,” I said.
He just grinned and said, “That’s how he says goodbye. I ignore it.”
“Well, if it was okay with you then it was more than okay with me,” I said.
He just gave me a look. Then he asked, “Where to now?”
“I really need to go and see Kim Marco,” I said. “Could you drop me off?”
He picked up my hand and held it to his lips. “Can I go with you?” he asked. “I’m not ready to give you up yet.”
“I would love it if you went. I’m sure Marco would like it too.”
We rode in silence for awhile. I decided to check my emails to see if Zico had sent me his schedule. I lied to him earlier because I hadn’t actually lost it. I had deleted it. When I opened my email app., I was surprised to see eight emails from him. I opened the first one and it was the schedule. I pinned it.
The second one said: Elizabeth, did you get another phone? Why don’t I have your number now? I wrote back: Jiho, I did get a new phone. Here’s the new number… And I gave him the new number.
The third one said: You aren’t home yet. I didn’t answer that one.
The fourth one said: The security bastard threw me out. He said that I wasn’t welcome in your building. What in the hell is that about? I didn’t answer that one either.
I didn’t know if I wanted to open the fifth one, but I did anyway. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so mean in my last email. I was just surprised. I guess I know why they won’t let me in.
The sixth one said: I’m really glad that you decided to come back to work. I’m sorry about the trouble. I hope that doesn’t stop you from helping me with the rest of the schedule. I answered this one with: Don’t you worry. I’ll be there. I’m a tough cookie.
I didn’t know if he would get that I had used one of his older songs there, but I thought he would. I thought it would make him laugh. He has such a great laugh. I wish I was there to hear it.
Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Zico.
Zico: Thanks for the number.
Elizabeth: You are right. My boss should have my phone number.
Ji-Yong and I pulled into the hospital, and went in to see my big scary teddy bear.
Kim Hwan was asleep in a chair beside Marco’s bed. I didn’t know the best way to wake him without getting shot, so I left him there. I walked over to Marco’s other side and leaned down to his ear.
“Marco,” I said.
Still nothing, but I was never giving up. I knew that was going to be the key to unlock his sleeping brain one day soon.
Finally, Kim Hwan woke up and I decided to ride back with him. Mostly because I didn’t want Ji-Yong trying to come up to my apartment. It was going to be hard enough to tell him no from now on without the added temptation of the bed in the next room.
The body guard went to get his car, and I kissed Ji-Yong goodbye. I watched as he pulled away, and he blew me a kiss.
At home, I didn’t bother to shower. I put on my pajamas and made another cup of tea. I found a bag of Reece’s Pieces in the fridge so I grabbed them and the remote and fell on the couch. The plan was to watch dumb t.v. until I passed out. The shades were still open, and my eyes automatically locked onto Zico’s hotel. Tonight, all of the lights were off but one.
Two hours later, that light was off, and I was drifting off with a Reece’s Piece in my mouth. It was orange.
My phone began to buzz. I felt around for it on the table without opening my eyes. Squinting, I hit the green answer button. In a very groggy voice, I answered. “Hello.”
“Hey there,” the familiar voice said.
I was wide awake all of a sudden. I sat straight up and choked on the piece of candy that had only half melted in my mouth. I began to cough as if I was going to die. I dropped the phone and accidentally hung up.
“Dammit!” I tried to say between coughs. I drank what was left of my tea and ran to the kitchen to get some water. The phone began to ring again and I tripped over a rug trying to get back to it in my half drugged state. I fell and knocked the wind out of myself. All I could do was lay there trying to breath, and wishing I had the power of telekinesis so I could pull the phone to me. If the whole thing wasn’t so tragic, I would have laughed. I was sure I would laugh later. A long time later.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself so that my breathing would go back to normal. The phone stopped ringing. When I could finally breath normally, I crawled over to the couch and grabbed my phone. I hit all of the necessary buttons to call back.
“Hello? Elizabeth? Are you okay?” he said.
“Hey Zico,” I said trying to sound nonchalant. “Yeah. I’m okay. It was just a series of unfortunate events. You know me.”
He laughed quietly and said, “Yes. I do.”
“What’s up?” I asked as I climbed onto the couch.
I felt giddy. Like a teen girl getting her first call from a boy. It was silly. My insides were all jingly, and it was hard to sound like I wasn’t excited.
“I’m downstairs. Can I come up for a minute?” he asked.
I looked at the state that I was in, and I regretted not having that shower. There was no way I was going to say no, however. “Sure. That would be okay,” I said.
“Can you tell this Nazi that it’s okay if I come up?” he asked.
Laughing, I said, “Sure. Put him on.”
I told the security guard that it was okay for tonight. We hung up and I ran for the bathroom. I brushed my hair and my teeth as fast as I could. The pajamas were whatever and would have to do. He had seen me look much worse. I heard the doorbell, and I grabbed a washcloth and ran it over my face and under my eyes to get rid of the fabulous raccoon look that I had going on. One last look in the mirror made me roll my eyes.
I answered the door and my heart jumped. Standing in front of me was the answer to all of my questions.
“Hi there tutti fruiti,” he said.
My heart skipped a beat. I wanted to wrap myself around him. I wanted to lock him in this apartment, and never let him leave.
“Come in silly,” I answered instead.
When he walked past me, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of his cologne.
Stop it Elizabeth. If you don’t pull yourself together, your plan will never work.
“Let me guess. You were just in the neighborhood?” I asked. I led him down to the couch and we sat a comfortable distance from each other.
He looked down at his hands in an almost shy manner. “Not exactly. I have this really great idea for a new album, and I’m pretty sure I know what aesthetic I want it to have. I wanted to discuss a major shift in my image with you when I bring it out. I thought you could be working on a whole new wardrobe and we could have everything ready to go when it comes out.”
“But, Zico, didn’t you just bring out a new album?” I asked. Of course I didn’t know how these things work. This might be normal, and I was sounding stupid.
“Yeah, and I’m still writing this new one, but who says you can’t have another comeback right away? I make my own rules,” he said and smiled.
I didn’t want to bring her up, but I really wanted to know. “Why isn’t Alicia doing it? She’s the big named fashionista,” I said.
“Because I want you to do it,” he said.
I waited for more, but I wasn’t going to get it. “Well, okay, when do you want to start on this project?”
“Remember how we went shopping in the beginning and found pieces together?”
“Of course,” I said.
“I would like to do that again one day if it would be okay with you. Would you be willing to go with me?” he asked.
“Will Alicia be there?” I asked. I knew it probably sounded a little bitchy, but I wasn’t willing to spend an entire day with that woman. That was too much to ask.
“No. It will just be us. I only want your input.”
“Alright. Just let me know when you want to go. And if you can, I would like to hear a sampling of the music. It really does help.”
He started to pick at a raised seam in his jeans with his thumb. “ Oh, definitely. I’m going to send you all kinds of stuff. Colors, samples of material, ideas. Hope you are ready.”
“ I would love to help you, Zico. I’m excited. I love playing with looks and coming up with something new,” I said.
“And it looks like you have something new,” he said pointing at my hand.
I looked down at the tattoo that was still wrapped in cellophane. “Oh. Yeah. I got this today,” I said and rubbed it absentmindedly.
“What is it? I can’t see it,” he said.
“It’s a butterfly,” I said.
He tried to see it through the plastic.
“Here, I’ll just take it off. I need to change it anyway,” I said and tore the plastic off of my wrist.
He looked at it more closely. “Very daring,” he said.
“HA. HA,” I said and playfully punched his arm.
He rubbed his arm as if it had hurt. Looking at the tattoo again, he said, “Actually, it’s kind of perfect for you.”
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“I think it represents you well. A butterfly means change. You have changed since you came here. You were mousy when we met and now, well, now you have some balls. But you are still soft and beautiful like a pink butterfly.”
I looked down at the permanent mark on my wrist. It looked different to me now. Zico was right, and now this mark had some meaning behind it.
“Thank you, Zico,” I said.
“Yeah,” he said. Then, “Whatever possessed you to get it?”
I didn’t want to bring up Ji-Yong so I just said, “I went with a friend.”
I think he knew not to ask so he said, “Where did you go?”
“I went to a girl named Soo Jin,” I said.
“Hold up,” he said and leaned back. “You met Soo?”
“I did,” I said.
“Oh boy,” he said. “I wish I got to see your face when you met her.” He laughed.
“So you know her well then?” I asked.
“Oh sure. She did a lot of my work,” he said. “She’s the best in Seoul. She mostly just does celebrity work. How did you get her to do yours?”
I could tell the moment that the answer dawned on him and he regretted asking the question.
“She was having a slow day I guess,” I said.
He just nodded his head and looked down. After a minute, he stood up and said, “I’ve kept you up way too late. I better head out.”
I wanted to beg him to stay, but I said, “It’s okay. I was just watching t.v. anyway.”
I walked him to the door. He turned and started to lean in to kiss me, and I was going to let him, but he caught himself at the last second. “You go and clean that tat and wrap it back up. I don’t want you to lose your hand. I need you to dress me.”
We both laughed.
He walked out and we said our goodbyes. I closed the door and watched him walk away on the monitor hoping he would come back and ring the bell again. He didn’t.
The ring was warm when Sehun slid it onto my finger. He must have had it clamped very tightly in his palm as he stood there visibly shaking. His lips were pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. He must not have gotten much sleep last night. I didn’t know because my sister wouldn’t let him near me for a whole twenty-four hours. It’s such a dumb tradition. I guess it’s supposed to make the wedding night that much more special, but every night with Sehun was special.
I couldn’t understand a word that the pastor was saying. Not because it was in Korean. It wasn’t. I was just so nervous that the words were all jumbling together. So I have no idea what I had just sworn to do. For the rest of my life. To God. Then I heard five words that stood out very clearly. “You may kiss the bride.”
Looking up at Sehun, I knew that whatever I had sworn, I meant it. For the rest of my life. To God.
He had a little trouble getting the silky lace veil over my head, but he finally managed. For a moment, I only saw his face in parts. I looked into his eyes that were staring at me so intently. I saw his mouth curl into a crooked smile. Then I saw the curve of his jaw, and felt his lips push against mine. All of those parts now belonged to me. The eyes, the smile, the jaw, the lips. Every part of Sehun. It was all mine.
All of a sudden, the room exploded into sound and movement. A moment before, time seemed to be going at half speed, but now it was going very fast. Sehun took my hand and turned me toward the church full of people. I could hear the pastor announcing us as Mr. And Mrs. Then, Sehun led me down the aisle toward the doors, and I couldn’t get there fast enough. My heart was racing. I started to sweat. There were so many people.
When the doors opened and we stepped out into the fresh air, I started to feel much better. My sister had made sure that everyone had birdseed to throw at us, and although all of these things were American traditions, my Korean family accepted them and even seemed to relish some of them. Especially throwing birdseed. VIXX was exuberant, and I think they may have taken more than one bag. I noticed a lot of birdseed coming from their direction. And it wasn’t coming gently.
I hugged my mom and my sister. Sehun shook a lot of hands. Then we got into the limo, and when the car began to move, we both melted down into the seat. Turning to each other, we began to laugh. We laughed until our bellies hurt. Finally calming down enough to breathe, we sat up and pulled ourselves together. Sehun leaned toward me and in a soft gentle voice he said, “You were always my wife.”
I felt flutters run through me. He could still make me feel like we were flirting for the first time. I giggled and blushed and leaned into him for a kiss. I expected a sweet kiss, but it turned into a long sultry tease. It lasted until the car stopped and we had no choice but to sit up and get ready for the crowds.
We arrived before everyone else so that we could change and freshen up. Suho had a cadre of ladies waiting to help me. I felt like a princess. They didn’t allow me to do anything on my own, and by the time they were done, I looked like a princess. We had decided to change before the reception and then again before we left for the airport. The boys all pitched in to pay for our honeymoon, and I was more excited to embark on that adventure than I was for this party. Frankly, I would have skipped this part if we could have set off earlier, but it wouldn’t have been fair to my family. Or to Yixing. Sweet Yixing was more excited for this party than anyone else at the wedding. He talked about it for a week. I could never disappoint him.
I could hear the crowds before I even left the dressing room. Suho had chosen a huge, grand hall to hold the reception in. It was like having my party in the ballroom of Versailles. Bacon had chosen my reception dress, so of course it was backless. I hated my little chubby rolls peaking out of the sides, but Bacon had pinched my side and said with a wink and a grin, “That’s the best part.” Which prompted Sehun to smack his hand away, and mumble, “I will kill you.” Thinking of them made me smile inside and out. My boys. My many, many boys. I was still the luckiest girl in the world.
I heard a loud cry, and knew that was my cue. My baby had been away from Mommy and Daddy for far too long. Oh Sa-rang, who was still known as Q, had grown into a beautiful, sweet, very spoiled force of nature. No matter how hard I tried to keep her somewhat humble, she knew that all she had to do was find one of her many, many, many uncles. Or Daddy. When it came to Q, Sehun had lost the ability to say the word No. And you wouldn’t think that a three year old would require that much. But you would be wrong. If she saw something on T.V. that interested her, and one of the boys noticed her interest, it arrived at the house the next day. She would mysteriously go missing, and I would find out that one of the boys had taken her shopping. Again.
The thing about Q though, was that if another child wanted one of her toys, she gave it to them on the spot. Sometimes, she would meet a child while we were out, and if she had something in her hands, she would go over and give it to them. Of course, Sehun would immediately go and buy her some new thing to play with. We gave so many things to charity, and she never cried to get one of those things back. Not one. I guess when you can have anything at your whim, things lose their importance.
I was surprised that the child learned how to walk. I once asked Kai if he was still going to carry her around when she was fourteen. He said he would if she asked him to. And I believe that he would. Q kind of hit the ground running, however. It seemed that she learned to crawl one week, and the next week she was walking, and then running. She isn’t afraid of anything. Since she was born, the boys have had her in the pool, all around the house, at parks and zoos, and even on stage. She isn’t afraid of the crowds or the noise. She walks on stage as if she was born for it. Maybe she was. I was afraid that the fans would turn against EXO, but it was the opposite. They chant Q’s name when she comes on stage, and they bring toys to throw. The girl is charmed. I guess I have to take it back. She is the luckiest girl in the world.
I had the sneaking suspicion that when I got out there to her, Sehun would already be there. He usually beat me to her whenever she cried. To be honest though, I didn’t want to go out there. I was exhausted. If I had my way, we would have gone from the wedding to the airport so I could sleep on the plane. But I didn’t have my way. Now I had to go out and be the center of attention and act energetic. I sighed.
All of the sweet ladies congratulated me and opened the door. The short hallway looked so long. I made my way to the reporters, cameras, and thronging crowds.
Suho was waiting at the end of the hall to escort me inside the giant ballroom. He held out his arm for me to take, and looking at the huge smile on his face, brought tears to my eyes. This man had given me his arm so many times in the last few years that I could never repay him for as long as I might live. He had always been there to catch me. Suho was my savior in so many ways. If I hadn’t fallen for Sehun, I know that I would have been madly in love with this beautiful man.
“Are you ready for this Mrs. Oh?” he asked as I took his arm.
“Hell no,” I said. He laughed.
“You look absolutely beautiful,” he said. “I almost don’t want to take you out there and give you away for the last time. I’ll just put you in a little box and keep you.”
“Oh Suho! You know you are excited to get rid of me.”
He gave me a mock surprised look. “How dare you!” he said. “I’m not getting rid of you. If you think you are finally getting rid of me then you are crazy. I’m going to insist that you and Sehun spend most of your time at my house.”
I couldn’t say anything. I just kissed his cheek and left a pink lip print. “There. Now you are marked. No other woman will have you,” I joked.
He didn’t wipe it off. “I’ve been marked for a long time.” He smiled again. “Let’s do this.” He opened the door and we entered the ballroom.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was like walking into a fairytale. Everything was red roses and golden embellishments. Ifelt like I was in one of the historical romance novels that Suho kept hidden in his secret room.
Immediately cameras began to flash and ruined my beautiful fantasy. The press had a designated space, but it didn’t stop them from yelling and being a nuisance. I had begged Sehun to elope with me, but he said it would break Suho’s heart. So here we were. A spectacle for the masses. I smiled and waved to the press as did Suho, then we walked the opposite direction.
I didn’t even have to look for Sehun. I knew where he was the moment I walked in. My eyes always found him in a crowd. There he was. Perfection in a tuxedo. He was staring at me with the biggest smile on his face, and a chubby little princess on his hip. My heart pounded as a rush of adrenaline flooded my body. I couldn’t wait to cross the room to be beside him, and I practically pulled Suho in that direction instead of waiting for him to lead me.
Handing Q to Xiumin, Sehun wrapped his arms around me as soon as I made it to him. He leaned down to put a very sweet kiss on my cheek and then he whispered in my ear, “Wow”.
“Same,” I said as I looked him up and down.
Suho seemed uncomfortable so he smacked his hands together and said, “Well, let’s get this part over with.”
I watched him make his way to the front of the room and he disappeared through a door only to reappear on the balcony. Someone gave him a microphone, and the room became quiet as he got everyone’s attention. There was no better speech maker than Suho. He hated doing it, but he was a pro. At the end of his speech, he announced that the first dance would be the Bride and Groom’s dance. Everyone began to make their way to the sides of the room, and I felt completely exposed. Because I was. Sehun, however, was used to being watched and scrutinized. He took my hand, bowed a low bow and, looking up into my eyes with a sexy smirk, asked, “May I have this dance Mrs. Oh?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Oh.”
We walked to the middle of the room and the music began. Normally I would have been very nervous, but I was confident in this dance. The reason being, I had made Sehun take me to dance classes for two months for this very moment. He felt silly going to dance classes, but he endured it for me.
Shinee stood on the balcony and sang “An Ode to You”.
In the middle of the song, everyone joined us on the dance floor. I barely noticed. I never wanted this song to end. Closing my eyes, I pretended that Sehun and I were alone. My senses were heightened in my excitement, and I noticed every subtlety. Sehun’s hand was firm and commanding in mine. He was humming softly to the song. The span of his shoulder under my other hand seemed expansive and I could feel his muscles working with every movement that we made.
Suddenly, his hand was gone from mine and his arms were around me. He pulled me into him and we danced close. I laid my cheek against the softness of his tuxedo and let him sweep me around the room.
I can’t believe that this is going to be the rest of my life. Things could have gone so differently.
Images of the last few years flashed through my head. Some were horrid. Most were beautiful. But at this moment, I couldn’t have been happier. I would freeze my life right now and live this time forever if I could.
When the song ended, I clung to Sehun for a moment more. Then a familiar voice said, “My turn.”
Reluctantly pulling away from Sehun, I turned to find a smiling Suho standing there with his hand out. I smiled up at Sehun as he stepped back and Suho took his place and I put my hand into his. His grasp was so different from Sehun’s. Less firm, but just as reassuring.
Taemin stood in front of the microphone and began to sing “Flame of Love”. Suho put his other arm around my waist and moved me around the dance floor even more adeptly than Sehun.
“I know that your Dad couldn’t be here, but I hope I’m doing an okay job as a stand-in today,” he said.
“I couldn’t have asked for anyone better,” I told him. Tears started to form at the corner of my eyes, and I just knew that by the end of the night, my makeup would be all but ruined.
“Now. Don’t cry,” he said. “You’re going to cry, then I’m going to cry, then we will have to leave the room together, and there will be a huge scandal,” he said as he laughed.
I started to laugh through my tears. “Let’s cause a scandal, Suho,” I said.
“Haven’t you caused enough scandals? Are you a secret spy sent in to bring down Exo? Did VIXX send you here?”
We both started to laugh so hard that we could barely dance.
“Oh Suho,” I exclaimed. “I think you had it wrong. I’m going to put you in a little box and keep you close forever.”
“That would be nice. Then I could have a break,” he said.
I smiled at him, and studied his face. I didn’t ever want to forget it. I wanted to be able to fix his smiling face in my mind anytime that I needed it. An idea came to me.
“Suho?”
“Yes?” he said.
“Dip me,” I said.
He looked surprised. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Swing me around and then dip me towards the floor,” I said.
“Are you sure?” he said.
“Very,” I said.
He pulled me in close, and I could smell his cologne. He always smelled so expensive. It was heady. Then, in a sudden swinging motion, he flung me out into the crowd, pulled me back in, and dipped me really low to the floor just as the song ended. With a delightful flourishing move, we had captured the attention of everyone on the dance floor. Unfortunately, the flashbulbs of the press went crazy, but we didn’t care. When I stood up, we took a bow and everyone began to clap and laugh. It couldn’t have been a better ending.
I had half expected one of my other boys to be waiting to have the next dance, but I couldn’t see any of them in the crowd. Sehun led me to our table and pulled out my chair for me. He sat beside me, and a very handsome waiter brought us both a glass of champagne.
I was so happy to sit down. My feet were killing me. I kicked off my shoes under the table knowing that no one could see. I looked over at Sehun who was sipping his champagne and looking over the rim at me. I picked up my glass and took a sip. It was pink and bubbly, and it tickled my nose.
Sitting his glass down, Sehun took my hand and rubbed the ring on my finger. “I love you more than anyone on this earth,” he said.
“I love you too,” I said.
“There are really no words to express what you mean to me,” he said. “You saved me.”
“I think it’s the other way around,” I said.
“No, I was at a very dark place in my life when you came to live with us. Jun saved you, and then you saved me.” He kissed my cheek.
The tears were back. “If it hadn’t been for you Sehun, I never would have come back from the hell I was in. You ran to me when I had nightmares. You laid with me and held me even though I was no longer in the real world. You went through it with me. It really was the other way around.”
He squeezed my hand and smiled a sad little smile. Looking back down at the ring he had just put on my finger, he said, “We saved each other.”
“And we always will. You’re mine forever whether you like it or not Sir!”
“Now who has it the wrong way around?” he asked. “You belong to me. Bought and paid for. You’ll be cooking my meals and washing my clothes until the day we die. You had no idea what you were in for.”
Punching him in the arm, I laughed and said, “You are in for a life of burnt food and stained clothes if that’s what you expect from this whole thing,” I said.
He laughed in his quiet way, and almost spit out his sip of champagne.
I noticed the crowd was moving off to the tables and that microphones were being placed in the middle of the room.
Looking at Sehun, he pretended to ignore my gaze. But, he was wearing his sneaky smile and I knew something was up.
When everything seemed to be set up, the boys came out and lined up behind the microphones. I looked at each one of them. So handsome in their tuxedos. I thought. My heart swelled with sisterly love for every single one of them.
Xiumin had just bleached his hair, and he almost glowed. So quietly sweet, he was both gentle and strong.
Yixing was almost bouncing with boundless energy. His little boy heart and giggly laugh brought me joy with every dimpled smile.
Chanyeol, standing there as almost the opposite of Yixing, acting reserved and put together and older than his age, but I had seen him wrestle the other boys, and he still had a playful nature that came out when his guard was down.
D.O. also tried to give off an air of seriousness and disinterest. All it took was a staring contest to break him. He couldn’t win. That silly grin came out almost immediately every time. After losing a few games, he would tumble over in laughter.
Kai never tried to be anything that he wasn’t. He was always just Kai. Which was great because, he was absolutely fabulous. I always imagined that with his caring heart, he would have been a doctor if he wasn’t in Exo. Well, maybe a veterinarian. He might be the most caring person I knew, but not always the smartest cookie in the jar. I laughed to myself.
Chen was so smiley. He seemed like the most normal of the group to me. He would be the hottie working at the coffee shop that you would spend all of your money to go see every day, even if you didn’t drink coffee.
What could I say about Bacon? There was actually too much to say. He could possibly be my very best friend. Sehun made sure to keep a healthy boundary between us, but we were still close. He was always ready to do anything for me or with me, whether it be shopping, swimming, late night food trips, or listening to me cry on the phone at three in the morning. He delivered my baby. He wrote a song for me. He even punched Sehun in the face for me. Besides Sehun and Suho, he was the person I counted on the most.
Then there was Suho. Three people completely owned my heart and he was one of them. It had been an accident, but he really did save me. I didn’t even know who I was when he found me. Thinking of him storming into that horrible half-way house to get me, made my heart beat faster. He might not be the biggest in stature, or the most intimidating man to look at, but Kim Jun-myeon was the strongest person I had ever met. When he said move, people got the hell out of the way. He knew how to get things done and to make things happen. There wasn’t a conceited bone in his body. Everyone was equal in his eyes. When diplomacy was needed, he was a master, but he also knew when it no longer worked and he was going to have to get physical. He wasn’t afraid of anything, except for not doing enough. He couldn’t see that not only did he do enough, he always did too much. Suho would always be a part of my life. He was my family.
They were all my family. Every last one of them. My brothers, my loves, my boys. When each of them got married, it was going to have to be with the knowledge that I came with the package. Jealously would not be tolerated, and any of the girls they fell for, would have to accept that fact.
I thought that Suho would begin as usual, but Bacon tapped his microphone and looked around at everyone nervously.
“Um…Hello,” he said with a sheepish grin. He waited for the crowd to get quiet.
“When we found out that this wedding was finally going to take place, we started working on a new song. A very special song. We wrote it for two specific people as our wedding gift.” He focused his gaze on me. “Elizabeth. Sehun. This is our love letter to you. We hope that your marriage is legendary, and that you set the example for the rest of us. You have so far. We call it Forever in your Arms.”
Soft beautiful music started to play and D.O. began to sing. One by one, he was joined by the others.
Sehun squeezed my hand and, when I looked over at him, I saw that his eyes were full of tears. He hadn’t known about this after all.
When they had finished, I had tears streaming over my cheeks, and I pretended not to notice Sehun wiping at his eyes as I dabbed at my own face with a handkerchief.
After one more song from VIXX that N had written, the party really got going. The music got faster, the crowd got louder, and we all laughed until our stomachs hurt. My sister made sure that we did all of the traditional wedding things like linking arms to drink our champagne, cutting the first piece of cake together, and throwing the bouquet. A sweet little maid named Binna caught it, and when Sehun threw my garter, Gyehyeon caught it and we made them dance the next dance. I have never seen anyones face become as red as Gyehyeon’s during that dance. I had a real mean streak because it tickled me so much on the inside to see him so shy with a pretty girl.
Sehun had the sweetest dance with Q. He swung her around and around in her puffy pink princess dress, and she would yell, “Faster Daddy! Faster!” Soon after that dance, she was asleep.
I danced with everyone from VIXX, Shinee, and EXO. I mostly just let them swing me wherever they wanted me to go. I would look over at Q and wish that I could lay down beside her and go to sleep too. I was exhausted. My last dance was a slow dance with Bacon. We danced to the song that he had written for me so long ago to help me sleep. I still used it sometimes, and I would even play it for Q when she was fussy.
I looked over at Sehun as Bacon pulled me close, and noticed that he didn’t take his eyes off of us.
“So, how does it feel to be an old married woman?” asked Bacon.
“Hey!” I said and playfully hit him in the arm. “I am not old! And I feel exactly the same. I’ve been married for a long time. Just without the paperwork and the party.”
“I guess that’s true,” he said.
I could feel his warm breath against my neck, and I shivered. It made the dangly curls brush across my skin and tickle in a sensual way. Too sensual.
I moved back a bit.
“Look at Sehun over there,” said Bacon with a little laugh. “I guess he thinks that the moment he turns his back, I’m going to fly away with you.”
“You two really need to get past that. It was years ago,” I said.
“Men don’t work that way,” he said.
I leaned back and asked, “Then how do they work?”
He swung me around so that my back was to Sehun and said, “Well, if he had tried to steal my girl, I would punch him in the face every time we got together. He is being gracious.”
“That’s crazy! Besides, I wasn’t his girl at the time. And that was his fault,” I said.
“That doesn’t matter. Once you belong to one of us, you are off limits to the rest of us,” he said. “Forever.”
I noticed that he had pulled me closer again. “Then why did you try?” I asked.
“Because I was drunk. Sooooo drunk,” he said. “Otherwise, I would have always wanted to, but I never would have.”
The song ended, and I started to pull away, but he held tight and whispered, “Just one more.”
I turned my head to look at him, but we were so close, my cheek pressed against his. His cologne was masculine and sexy. If he had been Sehun, this would have been the climax of the evening. But, he wasn’t.
“That was the last song. There isn’t any music,” I whispered back.
“Then I will hum,” he said.
Just when he began to sway, I heard Sehun’s voice very close beside us. “I knew it,” he said.
“Go. Away,” said Bacon in a very low tone.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Bacon didn’t loosen his grip.
“You aren’t coming to Scotland with us,” said Sehun.
“I’ll be very quiet. I won’t eat much. You’ll hardly notice me,” said Bacon.
“Noooo,” said Sehun. “Now give her back.”
“Fine!” said Bacon as he loosened his grip. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and then stepped back. “But you better remember that she belongs to all of us.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Sehun. He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him just slightly. I was still laughing behind my hand.
“I hope you two have a great time,” said Bacon. “I’m very happy for you.”
Sehun put his arms around Bacon and gave him a guy hug, patting his back really hard. Bacon did the same.
“I love you, brother,” said Sehun.
“I love you, too.”
I watched as Bacon walked away. Sehun squeezed my hand.
“We had better go and get ready to leave,” he said.
The girls helped me change into my traveling outfit. I didn’t want anything tight because I planned to sleep the entire way there. I had chosen a thin flowy peach dress that flattered my curves much better than the backless party dress.
My mother and sister were going to keep Q for us while we were on our honeymoon. They never got to spend time with her since they lived in the United States. I had promised them that we would try to visit them every few months.
I was very excited for this trip. It had always been a dream of mine to see Scotland. We were going to be there for a whole month. I was worried about being away from Q that long, and even more worried about leaving the boys alone for that long, but it was going to be nice to have Sehun all to myself.
As nice as it was going to be, I was going to miss everyone so much.
Sehun came to the door to get me. I think he was just as anxious as I was to be on our way. I looked him up and down. He was always handsome, but at this moment, he was absolutely gorgeous. He was wearing a black jacket over a red button down shirt and black jeans. Very basic, but for some reason, he made it shine.
Not being able to help myself, I put my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss. I heard the girls snickering behind me, but I didn’t care. Warmth flooded my body. I felt tingly and flushed. What did I do to deserve this man? I thought as I looked into his smiling eyes. He was perfection. I had everything I could ever want, and it was all because of this man. I kissed him again even deeper.
“Alright you two. That is going to have to wait until you get there,” said a voice close beside us.
I let go of Sehun and looked into the grinning face of Suho. “Everyone is waiting, and you two are in here starting your honeymoon early!” he said.
He directed his gaze to Sehun, and became more serious.
“I am so proud of you, Sehun.” He grabbed his hand. “You have come so far. Probably farther than any of us. I love you very much.”
I tried not to cry as I watched them hug each other, and I heard Sehun whisper, “I love you too.” Both men wiped their eyes when they separated.
Suho turned to me. “Bring him back in one piece,” he said.
“I will try my best,” I said. We both laughed through tears.
“I love you with all of my heart. You are the best bad decision I have ever made,” he said.
We laughed again.
“I love you more,” I said.
He pulled me into his arms and just held me there. It was the safest place to be on this earth.
Giving me back to Sehun, he said, “I’m going to miss you, but lets get going.”
We followed him down the hallway and through the front doors. The entire crowd was waiting for us. The applause and chatter was frenzied when we walked through the throngs to get to the car. Yixing ran out and practically knocked me over with a huge hug. His excitement was radiant. I could almost see him vibrating.
“I’m going to miss you guys so much!” he said and placed something in my hands. It was a little velvet bag. He kissed my cheek and said, “It’s candy for the trip.”
I kissed him back and said, “Thank you! And don’t worry. We will Skype.”
“Every day,” he said.
“We will see,” said Sehun.
I could feel little pieces of something hitting me. Then I saw the birdseed on Sehun’s sleeve. Their wasn’t supposed to be any birdseed thrown now so I looked around to see where it was coming from. It didn’t take me long to find the culprits. Of course it was VIXX. They must have kept some birdseed from before. I started to laugh and I probably looked like a crazy lady. Then Sehun laughed too.
My baby was put into my arms and I loved on her with kisses and cuddles until Sehun took her away from me to do the same thing. I think I underestimated how much I was going to miss her.
We shook all of the hands and hugged all of the hugs, and Sehun helped me into the car. I rolled the window down and waved as we pulled away. I watched them until we turned the corner.
I rolled the window up, and Sehun pulled me into his lap. He kissed me and said, “Finally! You are all mine Mrs. Oh, and I’m never giving you back!”
I kissed him again, and said, “That’s really good news, because I have a wedding gift for you.”
“Really? But you are my wedding gift,” he said.
“I have a better one,” I said.
“There couldn’t be a better gift in all of the world,” he said and squeezed me.
“I love you so much, Sehun,” I said.
“I love you too, baby,” he said.
I looked into his eyes, and then I got really close to his ear and whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
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