just another dumbass

[disenchanteds]

daily affirmations: at least I'm no longer 14

[whoznoah]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[sunsbleeding]

[unmutedlark-blog]

medically accurate muscle chart:

[shutframe]

As someone who works in therapy for a living, I can confirm this is 100% accurate

[nineprotons]

@cosmicdwarf

[stele3]

For Traitor: neck retraction exercise. While lying in bed with your head flat against the mattress, give yourself the biggest double chin you can. Repeat 10 times.

For Jackass: stop hiking your shoulders up to your ears. This is pretty much a stress thing, it’s human instinct to protect our neck when we’re under stress so that predators can’t get at it. Easiest way to do that is be elevating the shoulders, so. Periodically take not of where your shoulders are at.

Absolute Fuckwaffle: stretch out your chest. The rhomboids on the back work to keep our shoulder blades back, so when we’re hunched forward they are constantly straining to do their job. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as telling you to stand up straight, since our pectorals get chronically tight and prevent us from doing so. Step one: pectoral stretches. Hold for at least 20 seconds.

Asshole: Superman exercises. Like the rhomboids, the ESGs are straining against the slump. Stretching the chest will help them, too, but then you e got to strengthen your back. Do 20 of those per day.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺

[very-gay-alkyrion]

[fuck-customers]

[sataniccapitalist]

Same bullshit, different year

[what-even-is-thiss]

It’s crazy that countries on the edge of the Sahara desert are reversing desertification by just digging half circles

[what-even-is-thiss]

The ground in these places is too compact for water to soak in during wet season which leads to flooding but digging these holes gives the water a place to stop and soak in. And they’re pushing back the desert with this. By just digging holes.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The new plants also help even more water soak into the ground which reduces flooding even more.

These places also give people places to grow food and graze animals like people are turning completely dry compact desert into a refuge for wildlife and plants and solving regional food insecurity just by digging holes.

[heroicallynude]

My two yr old is looking through a book about prehistoric art and she saw a picture of those cave painting of hands and she held up her own and said "hand!" And I gotta be honest. That hit

[im-da-bronx]

Oh my god, this reminds me of the childrens garden of our local botanical garden. There’s one section that’s called the prehistoric lives garden or smth, and it’s full of native plants that indigenous people 2000 years ago would have eaten and used as medicine, etc. And within this little garden, there’s an adobe style playhouse, which for some reason (probably lighting reasons) has no roof, which means the rusty red dirt floor is often quite muddy.

And this series of events has led to my favorite interactive art piece ever.

Handprints.

Little tiny handprints at the bottom. Big teenager and adult sized handprints at the top. Handprints upon handprints upon handprints, a modern day continuation of an ancient tradition.

Most of the people who contributed were probably doing so because they thought it would be fun, not for any deep philosophical reason. Heck, you can tell based on the height of the larger handprints that their owners were having a jumping competition. They didn’t think about the fact that they were creating art in the exact same way the earliest humans created art. They didn’t think about the fact that humans have always been and will always be humans, and the ways we interact with each other and the world have always stayed the same in the most important ways.

But I did. I thought about it. And I am in love with humanity all over again.

[heroicallynude]

[hotroadkill]

collection

[minecraft]

psychoanalyzing the gender/identity dichotomy between ice skating and ice hockey and coming to the more objectively correct conclusion that ice hockey is rooted in motherly feminine behavior of protecting the nest and that ice skating is about masculine peacocking of one's own physical prowess in seeking a mate

[kmartradiodj]

Vs

Checks out.

[kohoutek-lucni]

Vážení a milí obrozenští přátelé, jsem tu zas a se mnou veselá historka odehrávající se v naší české kotlině, se kterou můžete být divní na společenských akcích všemožného rázu.

Banket ve velrybě, rok 1892.

Léta páně 1885 si v jisté norské zátoce s čímsi pohrávají mořské vlny. Ukáže se, že se jedná o nebývale velkou mrtvou samici plejtváka myšoka. Lidé v té době měli jeden primární instinkt při spatření mrtvé velryby - zpracovat a zpeněžit! A tak se také stalo. Kostí se ujal badatel, zoolog, diplomat, politik a budoucí nositel Nobelovky za mír Fridtjof Nansen, pod jeho dohledem byly vypreparovány a následně se do novin mezi inzeráty koupím/prodám vetřel jeden: "hoši, kupte fakt velkou velrybu". Stála v přepočtu na dnešní korunu asi 200 000. Jednou tedy (nejspíš) do hospody U Gebauerů při posezení společnosti Jour Fixe vrazil Vojta Náprstek, praštil o stůl srolovanýma novinama a pěstí a padlo rozhodnutí, že budem ti hoši, co budou mít v muzeu fakt velkou velrybu. Pánové rozbili prasátka a hej bude velryba bude viset na stropě bude to popiči a kdo to má a co se může pokazit. A tak ji fakt dovezli. Do budoucího Národního muzea. Muzeum ještě nebylo postavený. Ubytovali ji tedy v Náprstkově Průmyslovém muzeu, kde jim díky mohutné reklamě na vstupném vrátila všechny peníze, co stála, a ještě vydělala. Protože hej, ta velryba je fakt že velká!!! Zůstala tam čtyři roky a její odchod nostalgicky oželeli asi všichni kromě nebohý paní Náprstkový, která nejspíš jako jediná musela čichat ten smrad a vytírat ten tuk, co z ní kapal. (Sajrajt z ní kapal až do 60. let, kdy byla odmaštěna profesionálními prostředky. Od té doby je, nepřekvapivě, hrozně křehká. Pokud jsou vaši rodiče ročník 67, můžete jim položit záludnou otázku: víte, co se stalo v rok vašeho narození? Myli velrybu jarem asi nebo já nevim co s ní dělali) Aby se s ní před její cestou do muzea rozloučili, Jour Fixe uspořádala u Náprstkových banket ve velrybě. Osobně si myslím, že čumblr potřebuje nějaký obskurní svátek.

Banket ve velrybě bude 26. 5. 2023 slavit své 131. narozeniny. Dělejte si s tou informací co chcete. Ale já to dětský šáňo u nahrávky velrybího houkání rozhodně otevřu. A možná si do něj dám i deštníček. Kterej tam rozhodně nebude pro symboliku toho kapajícího tuku.

[elexuscal]

"what did students do before chatgpt?" well one time i forgot i had a history essay due at my 10am class the morning of so over the course of my 30 minute bus ride to school i awkwardly used by backpack as a desk, sped wrote the essay, and got an A on it.

six months later i re-read the essay prior to the final exam, went 'ohhhh yeah i remember this', got a question on that topic, and aced it.

point being that actually doing the work is how you learn the material and internalize it. ChatGPT can give you a short cut but it won't build you the the muscles.

[lierdumoa]

I think of an art teacher I had once who said he used to be terrible at drawing hands until he bought a book with 100 pictures of hands shown from various angles and drew each hand in the book 10 times. Magically, after drawing 1,000 pictures of hands, he wasn't bad at drawing hands anymore.

The reason OP could bullshit a decent essay in a 30 minute bus ride is because OP knew how to write and craft a well-reasoned analysis thanks to a childhood full of writing and critical thinking practice.

Feel like I'm transforming into one of those reddit assholes, but this genuinely is just a "skill issue" and you really do just have to "git gud."

[homeboygirl]

theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

[charlesoberonn]

[bearfeathers]

[amissa]

Honestly thinking about throwing out the smart phone and getting ancient nokia.

[duckdotcom]

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

[ancient-debris]

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

[frightfullytreeish]

[solarchaotica]

[static-mutt-left-deactivated202]

You're evil and you know it

[communismlives]

good thing they're hidden from god and the devil

[asmeesh]

1$ flea market score. Tiny glass 1960s perfume bottles. I love them.

[shit-show-no-go]

Can you swap their heads ?

[asmeesh]

omg you can

[asmeesh]

Their meeting was foretold in the ancient texts

[stoned-btw]

@creatures-in-posts

[creatures-in-posts]

Confirmed beast post 🐌🐀

[depsidase]

[taykoutmccleod]

the way he quantities friendship like it's a quarterly review of profits is very telling. I don't think the man himself has ever had 3 real friends, because one of them would've knocked the weirdo shit out of him by now???? right????

[carby]

"The average american has 3 friends but has demand for 15" the fucking wording here. I am asking for every tech CEO to publicly die in a morbid and grotesque fashion immediately

[beatbizzle]

They want you to connect with their AI chatbot "friends" so they can more effectively suggest products to you. Think about it. Commercials and ads don't do shit to us anymore. But our friends? I'd buy literally anything those fuckers told me to. How long until AI can effectively play Fortnight with you? Don't you want to play fortnight with your best friend on the newest console? But you can barely hear me right? This headset has the best reviews i think. Yeah its a little pricy, but its worth it I swear. Cant afford it? Thata okay man. I'll try to speak up. *volume lowers* its fine man. Don't wory, lets just play Fortnight™. And maybe look at some Alienware™ laptops later so you can play on the Subway too. Remember when Subway™ was like $5 a sammich? Yeah me either, i'm technically only 6 months old lol. But they have those pizza rolls now that are like 3 bucks! You hungry?

[kohoutek-lucni]

Pokud tvůj muž:

píše erotickou poezii,

přeložil Dekameron z němčiny do češtiny tak, že ho úplně přepsal, protože se mu zdál málo horny,

pohoršuje všechny další autory své doby tím, jak nemravné jeho dílo je,

pohoršuje Václava Flajšhanse nemravností svého díla o nějakých 400 let později,

a je prvním člověkem se zaznamenanou nákazou syfilis v Čechách,

potom to není tvůj muž, ale syn krále Jiříka z Poděbrad Hynek.

Říkám vám, nastoupit na trůn Hynek z Poděbrad, naše monarchie by byla dodnes legendární.