mike✮

it/void // multifandom // nonsharing AM yumeshipper // mike wheeler irl // doubles DNI.

[amsdarling]

pest regretevator roblox

GET AWAY KYLER DNI!!!!!!!!! /j

[amsdarling]

go outside

you watch in horror as i leave my house only to be picked up by an eagle and carried away into the sunset, never to be seen again

[amsdarling]

to every ableist fuck out there, i wish you a very HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

[amsdarling]

"narcissists will FEIGN empathy as a MANIPULATION TACTIC..." well what the fuck else am i supposed to do??? let you know that i dont care??? tarnish my good reputation with you for literally nothing??? why would i ever do that💀

[amsdarling]

feeling angry so i dont have a well written response to this

DIEEEE DIE I HATE YOU GRAGDIDBELDBDIEBDIEB DIE DIE DIE DIE IN A FIRE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU JUST SAY ARROGANT OR SELFISH OR SOMETHING YOU ACTUAL IMBECILE AND EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS YOU LOOK LIKE A HUMAN VERSION OF A PROBOSCIS MONKEY I HATE YOU [CLAWS OUT MY OWN EYEBALLS] I HATE HAVING NPD WHY IS THIS MY LIFE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHFOEHSKSHSODHSKXHSOWID

no tags i just want to post this to get it off my chest

[amsdarling]

anti-self diagnosis dni

self-diagnosed aspd + npd culture is having multiple people that are actually diagnosed with aspd and/or npd relate to your posts in any way, and suddenly your countless hours of obsessive research are worth it. all of the self-doubt, all of the comparison, all of the feeling like you’re not “aspd/npd enough.” it’s worth it. because you know your experiences better than anyone else. and you were right about them. and other people think so, too.

[maneatered]

"I can handle your disorders," says the fucking clown who's about to complain when I act like my disorders.

[scr3amingatforgottenfears]

Why does unmasking feels like im some edgy teenager

[amsdarling]

daily affirmations:

i am the best

i am god

no one is better than me

i am my favorite character's number one fan and anyone else who claims to be is a fraud

one day everyone i hate will be dead

[amsdarling]

tw: self-harm

aspd culture is the constant urge to relapse because of the soul-crushing boredom

[peerless-outlaw]

The thing that bothers me about people trivializing ASPD is not the self diagnosis, not at all, because I'm supportive of that (within reason).

What bothers me is ASPD being reduced to "unfeeling tough murderer disorder" instead of the desperate understimulation that feels like you're behing crushed alive; the uncontrollable anger that feels like it's going to burst out of your chest; the ruining your body just to feel entertained for about a couple hours if you're lucky; the severe struggles with money because you can't control your spending to save your life; the loneliness because, not only does nobody wants to be close to a psychopath, but you also can't allow yourself to be vulnerable enough; on that line, the inability to form meaningful bonds even with those who are very close to you because your fondness is extremely muted and it vanishes as soon as you even begin to notice it; the possibility that you might end up in jail, maybe even die in there, one day; the childhood full of people who thought of you as nothing but a monster, and someone no parent would ever want to deal with; the inability to commit to things that you might otherwise enjoy because they inevitably stop being entertaining enough at some point...

All those things and more being lost and/or ignored is what actually bothers me.

[mxlign]

Something that I consider a good development for me is being able to take care of an animal. Even though I’ve had issues with being impatient and mean to animals in the past, I take care of my rabbit in an ethical manner and find ways to accommodate his needs. He’s annoying sometimes, but I do care about him. I can see that he trusts me and I think that’s pretty cool. He’ll be 5 this year and I’ve been able to take care of him without giving up.

The little dude in question:

[amsdarling]

this makes me joyous. i have a bad history with animals that i dont talk about because it makes me feel like dirt, but ive been trying to work on being a bit nicer to my cat. it’s going well so far and im proud of myself. i hope i’ll be able to make this kind of progress someday.

here is my animal. i hate it when she looks at me like this cut it out.

[anti-endo-coining]

NPD PRIDE FLAG + SYMBOL

We made our own because we felt the widely used one was... well, boring. We like the colors though so we just tweaked them a bit and gave them meanings!

Laurels relate back to the Greek origins of the word "Narcissist" while simultaneously representing victory, triumph, and glory; things many pwNPD strive for.

From top to bottom, the colors each represent different symptoms of the different subtypes of NPD, and their meanings are as follows:

Deep-red: the malignant subtype and it's symptoms

Red: the symptoms that are universal across the different subtypes; arrogance, entitlement and the need for attention

Orange-red: the high functioning subtype and it's symptoms

Orange: the grandiose subtype and it's symptoms

White: recovery

Light-grey: the vulnerable subtype and it's symptoms

Grey: the exhibitionistic subtype and it's symptoms

Deep-grey: the spectrum of empathy levels

Black: co-morbid disorders

Symbol png below vvv

[parachemidol]

THE EGO BOOST THIS GAVE ME IS TRULY IRONIC. YES, I SO AM + YOU ARE UNEDUCATED AND ABLEIST.

[amsdarling]

using my demonic elite powers to cast wicked spells. what evil doings will i partake in today?

[amsdarling]

npd culture is staring at your own social media profiles and thinking about how cool and interesting you must look from other people's perspectives

[amsdarling]

I am going to convert this blog to fully being about my mental health I think. I’m going to make a separate blog for yumeshipping/fandom related topics

[amsdarling]

aspd culture is deciding to be social because youre bored asf and accidentally making friends and immediately regretting it