amusedgreatly

[hottdoggblogg]

[gotterhag]

don’t love this, if I’m being frank

[ccrustacian]

don’t get your glizzy slits in a twist

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[beauty-in-healing-deactivated20]

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

[toastbutteregg]

[showerthoughtspost]

When we find a hair in our food, it’s usually long and likely female. Now think about all the male hair we never notice and likely ingest.

[directedbywongkarwai]

people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel, 

[heavensghost]

[everydaylouie]

musical faces

[saturnsocoolioyep]

How do they sound so much like they look?

[africanaquarian]

me, “lost” in the woods during a full moon waiting for a werewolf to scoop me up

[catchymemes]

[rikerstrombones]

hey you

yes you

do you hate stephenie meyer? do you want to read her shitty books without giving her any more money?

boy have I got just the thing for you

twilight

new moon

eclipse

breaking dawn (I think this is that weird pregnancy au somebody wrote?? idk)

bonus

midnight sun

midnight sun (partial draft)

short second life of bree tanner

life and death (I'm so sorry this is the best I could find if anyone has anything else lmk)

enjoy 😊

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

The microbes inside me are pleased by my yogurt offering. I live another day.

[postinginthedark]

it’s literally raining and pouring and the old man is actually snoring 

[221bluescarf]

Child: *complains of mental illness symptoms*

Parents with undiagnosed mental illness: Everyone's like that 😘

[yourfaveknowsthegospel]

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

-Matthew 5:8

[bathroomcube]

[ewaneneollav]

ok (powerpoint transition to a photo of your gravestone)

[voidupdate]

if she’s your girl why is she breasting boobily down my stairs

[youcannottakeitwithyou]

Adelchi-Riccardo Mantovani (Italian, 1942). Insomnia, 1998.