a musing displacement

Read. 30. ze/zir/zirs, Black. cycles through various fixations—stranger things sideblog: @stobinesque | pfp by @sentient-trash

[themauvesoul]

hello can you please tell me about shane’s post-retirement evil podcast, if you feel so inclined

In my head his podcast would start off with good intentions, but he’s collected a LOT of dirt during his time as a professional hockey player, and he’s retired, so he has no real obligation to stay quiet anymore. Plus he’s got a lot to be mad about, and he’s at a time in his life where he feels safe enough to actually Be Mad. So it’s like. Episode one is normal boring hockey commentary, episode two is normal boring hockey commentary, episode three is normal until about halfway through where he’s talking about a guy he used to play against and he’s like oh yeah I always hated playing that guy. He never actually used my name, he’d just call me *[SLUR REDACTED] instead. One time he told me that they never should’ve let my grandparents out of the internment camps, and I was pissed, but also kind of impressed that a stupid-as-shit guy like that actually knew enough about history to say that. I guess racism will have you doing anything, including read. There is then a long awkward silence before the cohost goes ANYWAYS about that new power play lineup LA is running…..

Fourth episode him and his cohost are talking about coaches and coaching styles and Shane casually drops oh yeah everybody always knew to steer clear of that guy. He had a reputation. Cohost is like reputation for what? And Shane is like oh you know. If you stand too close he’ll grab your ass. Guys on his team really gotta watch the rookies because if they go into his office alone… cohost is like Jesus. And nobody came forward? Shane is like oh people tried, it just never went anywhere. Team management buried it.

Fifth episode they have to derail the hockey talk to address the latest Hazing In Canadian Juniors Teams Scandal, and Shane is like no yeah I absolutely believe those kids. When I was on juniors the nineteen year olds I was billeted with literally waterboarded me. Like, held me down with a tshirt over my head and poured whiskey on my face until I almost drowned. They could say they got their fingernails pulled out with pliers and I’d believe them.

Sixth episode Shane drops the pretense and the cohost and opens with. So here is a recording of Roger Crowell calling me a faggot to my face on zoom.

[themauvesoul]

Also Ilya’s interruptions are like. (very obviously yelling from a distance) SHANE YOU FORGOT THE TIME CROWELL PAID DALLAS KENT FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS TO BREAK MY LEG ON THE ICE. is he lying? who can say!

[loontattoo]

the thing about AI art is that it rewards the final product and not the process. but the process is where the art happens. you're not supposed to be able to skip that part. MY GOD

[rainbow-femme]

Ok but Ilya not realizing until much later that he hurt Shane with things he’d done in the past

One day it randomly comes up as Ilya says something about a time he acted like a dick and Shane is just like “Eh it’s ok, looking back I understand now that you were in a ‘I’m going to hurt you before you can hurt me’ mindset and that’s why you acted like that.”

And Ilya is staring at him and Shane asks what’s wrong and Ilya goes “I hurt you?” And Shane’s just like well yeah but it was forever ago don’t worry about it. But Ilya is worrying about it because back when he’d done the various hurtful things he’d been in downward spirals where he was convinced he didn’t have the ability to hurt Shane because he didn’t matter enough to Shane to hurt him, so he didn’t think the way he acted had any negative effects. And now he’s turning pale and his eyes are getting big as he’s realizing that oh god when he did those things he hurt his favorite person and he hadn’t even realized it

He makes Shane tell him the different times it happened and Shane doesn’t really want to because clearly this is just going to upset Ilya more, but hiding it or lying is probably also going to make things worse in the long run so it’s better to get it out now. So he mentions Ilya ghosting him after they had sex, and then how Ilya acted in Sochi, and that whole night in Vegas, and “I like you… Not as a person, obviously”

And the whole time Ilya is silently nodding and looking like he wants to throw up because no no no those weren’t supposed to be things that hurt Shane, those were supposed to be things that bounced off Shane without affecting him because they were only ever meant to hurt or protect himself, Shane was never supposed to have been hurt by those and fuck how did he not see in the moment the way that he was actively hurting Shane by doing that

And now it’s even worse because Shane won’t even be mad at him about it, he keeps insisting on being understanding and not upset and trying to make Ilya feel better when in fact Ilya is the worst most awful person in the world who should be punished for eternity for making 22 year old floppy haired baby Shane SAD like some kind of MONSTER

The next Galina session Shane is also there with Ilya who has his head in his hands and Shane is just like ok so we may have accidentally stepped on a landmine the other night-

[sequestering]

Winter Sports: Poems by Priscila Uppal, poet-in-residence for Canadian Athletes Now at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games

[degrommunism]

I really do not think the average person understands how different the training resources and access are for a cis man playing sports vs everyone else. I wrote an article last month about how until 2020 they were given the Swedish women’s national hockey team expired protein bars for tournaments and only five practices leading up to it. More often than not people who aren’t cis able bodied men playing a sport do not have equipment properly fitted to them. Women’s teams do just straight up get less court or field or ice time. Coaches and trainers will refuse to train you on certain things because they just assume you cannot do something.

Idk. We have seen the athletic accomplishments of cis men come very far in the past century as they got more specialized training and the sports industry as a whole grew. Yet People still really think physical advancements and progression can only be done by cis men, and the the upper limit of what’s been recorded by everyone else is this permanent, unmovable thing. For a long time people thought it was impossible for a woman to do a triple axel until it happened.

[snowtamale]

Gwyneth Philips has herself a 41 save shutout and the Charge are in the playoffs!

April 25, 2026

[lesbian-stick-handling]

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

[ratcity]

tears in his eyes pissed as hell rock hard in a three thousand dollar tuxedo begging for a blowjob in a public bathroom. you love to see it

[galecstatic]

the trophy room scene for s2 is gonna eat so fucking good with these microexpressions

[sixmonthsandgone]

[smokingrozanov]

Ilya is the type of partner who is like “do you still love me?” 600 times a day & then when Shane actually does something sweet or intimate Ilya’s like. Ohhhh my god Hollander it’s so embarrassing how much of a crush you have on meeee 🥰😍

[ayotofu]

one thing im learning from hr fics: yall do NOT know how mic'd up works

[annadalee]

So....how does mic'd actually work in hockey, if you don't mind my asking?

[ayotofu]

**disclaimer: I watch nfl football, not hockey, but from like 2 minutes of research I determined that nfl mic'd up and nhl mic'd up are functionally the same so!

firstly, mic'd up is never aired live, concurrently with normal commentary??? that's not a thing

mic'd up is never aired, period. it's on youtube, generally posted by each team

its usually only a few minutes long. absolutely no one is posting entire games, for so many reasons, including but not limited to: pr problems (no team is going to post their players saying controversial shit), copyright (the full game available for free on youtube??? no), it would be so boring, etc)

all of this is to say: SHANE AND ILYA ARE NOT GETTING PUBLICLY AND ACCIDENTALLY OUTED VIA MIC'D UP

the only people it would out them to would be the people who listen to and edit the recordings, who would then be making the active choice to out them or not

what im saying it's where's the fic about the pr team desperately trying to cut all of their obvious flirting out of every mic'd up to keep them from being outed only to throw up their hands in despair when they get outed from fucking fanmail

[ahotknife]

BIG USELESS DICK SHANE BIG USELESS DICK SHANE HE CANT COME WITHOUT BEING FUCKED ITS JUST SWINGING THERE

this is so near and dear to my heart like that thing is BIG and also: ilya’s gagging on it on the regular. everybody cheered. i just imagine ilya teasing him about it like what do you even need all this for baby hm? biblically greedy. whole house hung. this shit rules i was born in the right generation i love talking about hung shane on the internet with thousands of strangers

[thekookster]

means of definition

also on ao3 here if you’d like to drop me a kudos or a comment!

whew, i worked on this for quite a while! this poem probably went through about 20 editing passes over three weeks before i decided on this final form. i also considered a much more cut-down, radical version that was entirely without punctuation and full throttle on the versatile readings but ended up keeping this more straightforward structure in the end. for hollanov specifically it probably works better that way.

thank you to read, @amusingdisplacement who was a very patient and enthusiastic cheerleader about this! you gave me the strength to go on, pal

[raincitygirl76]

When Ilya got his agent to approach Ottawa, he likely asked them to do a Labour Market Impact Assessment in order for him to get Canadian permanent residency. Which puts you on a path to Canadian citizenship after several years. A temporary foreign worker has no path to citizenship.

Ilya is a generational talent. Ottawa could write in the LMIA that no Canadian hockey player available at the time was as good as him. And IRCC (Inmigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada) would likely agree. The other best player in Ilya’s position is Shane. Who already has a contract with Montreal and thus isn’t available to Ottawa.

LMIAs with permanent residency (thus, leading to citizenship) are almost as rare as unicorns, but they do happen occasionally. My dentist is an American whose family moved to Vancouver during the first Trump administration. Her husband was a STEM professor at an Ivy League university, doing cutting edge research.

The University of British Columbia (UBC) argued in their LMIA for him that this American researcher was someone whose job simply couldn’t be filled by a Canadian. His job was simply too specialized. And it worked. the paperwork took a long time to come through, but she, her husband, and their kids were given permanent residency so he could take the UBC job. And I believe they are now citizens.

Whatever contract Ilya negotiated with Ottawa would’ve been contingent on him becoming a permanent resident, not just a temporary foreign worker with no path to citizenship. Ottawa would have lobbied IRCC like hell to get him PR.

Anyway, IRCC doesn’t advertise that you can get PR through an LMIA. There are far too many corrupt immigration consultants out there who convince desperate would-be immigrants out there to bribe them for it. And of course, the paperwork they get is fake. Because people don’t understand that getting an LMIA approved with PR is only for very exceptional cases. Usually an LMIA is only for a temporary foreign worker permit. And that has no path to citizenship.

But the real thing does happen from time to time. IRCC would approve permanent residency for a world-class hockey player willing to move to a thoroughly mediocre Canadian team. There would be paperwork and it would take a while, but they’d do it.

Explanatory note:

The way Canadian immigration law works, you can’t move to Canada for a specific job and get permanent residency that way. You get PR, you move to Canada, and then you look for a job here. The LMIA with PR is very rare and only for special cases. When they basically need to lure someone to Canada.

[raincitygirl76]

Okay, maybe “lure” is the wrong word. But Canada is perceived internationally as a very stable country. If you get an LMIA approved with permanent residency, you can attract exceptional people to Canada. People who want to live in a stable country and eventually get that country’s passport.

[gaynehollander]

My biggest problem (in a long line of problems) with the outing plotline in The Long Game is Ilya's reaction to the video leaking. It feels so out of character that I literally cannot reconcile it with how I see Ilya's character.

So, Hayden breaks the news that Shane and Ilya kissing has now become public property to anyone with an internet connection and the insight we receive into Shane's reaction to this news through his POV is that "Shane's stomach plummeted. […] Shane couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t swallow. He was going to die from choking on his own saliva. [...] He was choking on rage and fear and humiliation, and trying to remember how to swallow." So, essentially, a pretty classic panic response.

May I remind you that Shane has been terrified of coming out for the entirety of the book? And, sure, he and Ilya have decided that they will do it this summer but that's still months away and we haven't really seen him work through is actual feelings on that - which I know is because Rachel isn't interested in exploring that but I can justify it internally with Shane pushing back his processing because it's a problem for a later date - Only, now they're out. No two ways about it. And once again, he didn't get the chance to tell people on his own terms. Once again, he was forced into it through circumstances outside of his control.

And Ilya's reaction to this is to reassure Hayden that it's okay, that they were going to come out anyway soon enough "but now [they] do not have to", and that it was their own fault for not having been more careful. Now, that last part is what really gets me because I read Shane as being entirely too prone to self-blame and here Ilya is, not only failing to help Shane through his worst nightmare becoming a reality but actively saying it's his fault that they're in this situation (their joint fault but still, there is no way Shane doesn't internalise that).

Hayden tells them "the video is fucking everywhere," that people's reactions are "mostly, like, 'what the fuck?' or 'holy fucking shit' or 'is this a fucking joke?'" That there are people who think Shane should not be allowed to attend practice with the team and, presumably, think he should be benched or dropped. That their teammates reactions are along the same lines, and that "practice is going to be weird this afternoon", if he's even allowed to attend it. At no point during that conversation does Ilya attempt to check in with Shane emotionally.

Even after Hayden leaves, he still doesn't ask how Shane feels or try to provide him with comfort. Instead he pulls up the video and laughs about it. I get that Rachel was trying to get him to diffuse the situation with humour and, supposedly, he succeeds at that since Ilya manages to get Shane to laugh too, but if that's going to be the approach then you need to give it more conscious thought and be more deliberate in engaging Shane in seeing the funny side of the situation. As is, his laughter here reads, to me, as a slightly hysterical panic response or him trying to mimic Ilya because he feels that's the "correct reaction" to have.

Ilya suggests calling their agent and Shane ends that call feeling "numb" at which point this conversation occurs, with absolutely no pacing, immediately after the phone call ends: Ilya: “Farah will help.” Shane: “I’m worried she can’t.” Ilya: “I know. I have to go back to Ottawa now. Our plane leaves in a few hours.” Ilya asks if Shane will be okay, he says no, he'll be "a fucking mess", he asks if Shane thinks his team will be okay with the news and Shane tells him "Probably not at first. I don’t think Coach is going to be okay with it. Or management. Or, like, anyone."

Ilya has no words of encouragement, no moment where he allows Shane to freak out about this, no actual check in over the fact that Shane's life has imploded and he's now left to sort out the debris. He just kisses his hand, tells him "one thing at a time," and then he leaves.

There is literally no way for me to read that as anything other than callous and insensitive and I just don't buy it, not from my Ilya. My Ilya has more emotional intelligence than that. My Ilya recognises Shane's anxiety and knows how to support him through it. My Ilya would never fucking downplay the dumpster fire of the leak to this degree and then just leave Shane to deal with the fallout which, crucially, Ilya knows will be worse for Shane than for him. He doesn't actually anticipate any problems with his own team, he says so himself.

It genuinely makes me furious whenever I think about it.

[sisituation]

ilya knows about april fool's and understands easily big english words that came from greek and latin (metaphor, spectrum, gynaecology, etc.)

his europeanness is not limited with promiscuity