Dallas/Canada

eat shit and live, bill no minors!

[zooolf]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[bloody-monstrous-wolf]

[mr-deep-downer]

women who aren’t even 30 yet

[xwiredearbuds2014x]

[aflo]

leonardo dicaprio type of post

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[thehmn]

Foxes disguised as monks. On the left from Japan and on the right from Denmark.

[crabs-and-bedbugs]

It was a global problem

[maceofpentacles]

what are y’all’s tarot birth cards?

mine are the tower and the chariot

[probablysomethingtm]

Lmao we have to fucking destroy this company are you fucking kidding me with this shit

Google Search as you know it is over | TechCrunch

Google is transforming Search from a list of links into an AI-powered experience filled with conversational answers, autonomous agents, and

[probablysomethingtm]

Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?

[probablysomethingtm]

I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit

[probablysomethingtm]

[aristocrating]

its 2026 i cannot handle any more fucking "author A obviously ripped off author B" discourse by people Who Have Only Seen the work of author B and admit themselves that they have no further knowledge of the literary landscape they are moving in. like.

[nudityandnerdery]

[itreallyatemyhand]

[dumb4ss3s-deactivated20130218]

so bECAUSE OF THE UPDATE I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID HOMESTUCK AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “IT UPDATED??!?” AND THEN HE READ THE UPDATE ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT HUSSIE UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD 

[tumblintuck]

I think on some level this isn’t even exactly a lie it’s sort of like when a 4 year old tells you that they can talk to dogs or they can fly when no one’s looking or whatever it’s like undeveloped brains not even knowing how to conceive of what a truthful statement is

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[chaifootsteps]

#Please little bird

[meriwetherwrites]

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

[nightguardmod]

It’s a win win. I get a bit of hope, you get a cute birb photo

[cheaphalloweencostume]

I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood

[cheaphalloweencostume]

10 years of crème brûlée brownies and wondering where it all went wrong

[free-my-mindd]

[shiningother]

leaving this on someones parked car after i ram into it

[not100bees]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[senatortedcruz]

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

[gothicprep]

there’s a lazy version of engagement bait that goes something like, “who was the first person to milk a cow and what did they think they were doing?” it’s not a great question. if you think about it for a few seconds, it’s pretty clear that someone observed that cows and humans were both mammals (at least in the crude sense that milk production & consumption are commonalities) and cows have teats that are large enough for someone’s hand to grip. this is neither interesting nor disturbing.

the person who *i’m* concerned about is whoever discovered that eyestalk ablation increased egg production in female shrimp. you need to be some combination of gregor mendel and josef mengele for that one to even occur to you.

[gothicprep]

i’m a little bit annoyed with myself that i didn’t include a couple of important details in the cow’s milk logical chain here. at this point in time, we can probably infer that the cow is not venomous. it’s more sustainable to drink the milk than butcher the cow, if that sort of thing works. the change of seasons begets not-so-great harvests, and you need to get your calories from somewhere. it’s worth a shot!

we underrate the reasoning abilities of humans who came before us, but if you don’t Be On That Phone or anything like it, you don’t have any other way to pass the time than observe the world around you and pattern match.

i do still stand by my earlier comment that mad shrimp scientist was a combination of naturalist and nazi.

[analmazing]

Can you also elaborate on the shrimp part

[analmazing]

Oh. Yeah. What the fuck.

[gothicprep]

there’s a lazy version of engagement bait that goes something like, “who was the first person to milk a cow and what did they think they were doing?” it’s not a great question. if you think about it for a few seconds, it’s pretty clear that someone observed that cows and humans were both mammals (at least in the crude sense that milk production & consumption are commonalities) and cows have teats that are large enough for someone’s hand to grip. this is neither interesting nor disturbing.

the person who *i’m* concerned about is whoever discovered that eyestalk ablation increased egg production in female shrimp. you need to be some combination of gregor mendel and josef mengele for that one to even occur to you.

[gothicprep]

i’m a little bit annoyed with myself that i didn’t include a couple of important details in the cow’s milk logical chain here. at this point in time, we can probably infer that the cow is not venomous. it’s more sustainable to drink the milk than butcher the cow, if that sort of thing works. the change of seasons begets not-so-great harvests, and you need to get your calories from somewhere. it’s worth a shot!

we underrate the reasoning abilities of humans who came before us, but if you don’t Be On That Phone or anything like it, you don’t have any other way to pass the time than observe the world around you and pattern match.

i do still stand by my earlier comment that mad shrimp scientist was a combination of naturalist and nazi.

[analmazing]

Can you also elaborate on the shrimp part

[mossbawn]

people on here are always saying “we NEED a story where the art of storytelling is abandoned” like ugh literary devices are soo annoying like that wouldn’t happen in real life that only happened to further the story (why is there story in my story) why would orpheus turn around when he was explicitly told not to why would icarus fly so close to the sun romeo&juliet catcher in the rye why are they so earnest why pour your heart and soul into anything why bother why cant all art be quippy logical monotony like my marvel movies there’s a void in my heart bc i refused to fill it and the curtains were blue

[mossbawn]

“i hate poetry its so pretentious” but then you reblog a quote or a throwaway line and say “why does this go so hard” you are desperate for poetry you are starved for it and u dont even realise you’re hungry

[analmazing]

Was this supposed to be for April fools