An Appropriate Receptacle @anappropriatereceptacle - Tumblr Blog

so I was listening to music and got this message… at first I assumed that my boyfriend sent the wrong person a message asking for toilet paper, but when i got up to bring him some i saw his phone on the bed and realized

he left his phone in the room and only took his switch with him, so all he could do was desperately tweet an SOS

moronpolice

i had to adapt to fucking survive

weirdtrek

wouldn’t the Jurassic Park dinos just recognize Janeway as their lizard queen?

ds9vgrconfessions

She did have lizard babies…

jeffgoldblumss

How about when people call you “Daddy”? It’s sweet. Oh, sweet. Isn’t that - uh - sexy talk? I think it means sexy talk. Yeah. (x)

emchughes

“spicy daddy”

yodelmachine

My laundry basket is self-loading.

fieldbears

My day has not been great, and this actually really helped

rankln-blog

characterlimit

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

afro-elf

marvel where’s my ten minute video of thor teaching earth etiquette to the asgardians???

afro-elf

“this is a dog”

[a bunch of hands fly up]

“you cannot ride it, it is too small”

[all hands go down]

enbysaurus-deactivated20220117

I will never stop reblogging this every single time it reappears on my dash

c3rvida3

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

sailorbryant

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.

aliswong

sunfortune

LMFKANSKBANSBSJSHJSBDNSBSBS IM THOR (via @notasgardian on ig)

strawberriesforastrology-deacti

Breaking Astrology Down

Your Sun is about yourself. Your Moon is your heart. Your Rising is how you look. Your Mercury is the way you think. Your Venus is how you love. Your Mars is how you deal with life. Your Jupiter is your luck. Your Saturn is how you discipline yourself and your responsibilities. Your Uranus is how unique you are. Your Neptune is your imagination. Your Pluto is your transformation. Your Chiron is how you heal. Your Ceres is how you take care of yourself. Your Pallas is your relationships. Your Juno is beauty and Influences. Your Vesta is your potential and your organization. Your North Node is how you develop in your current life. Your South Node is how you developed in your past life. Your Midheaven is your career, how others view you. Your Lilith is your hidden emotions.