like okay imagine you and your friend take over this opera house and you are not even there for five goddamn minutes when a set collapses and your prima donna quits because -- get this -- everyone’s convinced the place is haunted by a guy who literally calls himself the opera ghost and makes it his full-time job to harass you. not only does he demand you keep the best seat in the house open for him at every show, you also have to pay him a literal salary every month. did the previous opera manager mention any of this to you? no! and now that it’s officially YOUR problem, he’s fucked off to germany for the foreseeable plot.
oh, and everyone’s way more intimidated by the choreographer than they are by you. which is fair, that cane looks like it could do some real damage.
fortunately you find a replacement for the prima donna and she’s really good, but unfortunately she is convinced she’s been taught by the angel of music, and given how superstitious everyone at this stupid theater is, you can’t help but feel this “angel” might come back to bite you in the ass later, but whatever, there’s no time to deal with that because now she’s VANISHED right before the show, and right when she gets back you start getting rude notes from the opera ghost telling you how to run YOUR theater. obviously this will not stand, you make a brave show of defiance...which horribly backfires when he kills someone during the performance (albeit someone no one liked all that much, but still, the cleanup) and drops a chandelier on the stage. so like. that’s not ideal.
but the creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the opera ghost at all. so everyone’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
some months pass without incident, though, and everything goes back to normal. it all seems chill, SO chill in fact you and your friend are throwing a party! and you are so confident you have the situation under control that you’re gonna make fun of the opera ghost and take a BIG sip of water and ahhhh fuck there he is. the opera ghost is here in a costume that you’re pretty sure he stole out of the green room a few months ago. he has threats. and an opera. oh, yes, an opera. he wants you to put it on. never mind that you already had the entire season planned, never mind that you’re already in rehearsals, NEVER MIND THAT THE OPERA FUCKING SUCKS. and his favored lead isn’t too keen on the idea and she’s started wandering around in the graveyard talking to her dead father/angel of music (the whole thing seems a touch freudian but you don’t know what that means yet) and the prima donna is PISSED, so no one’s really on board with this.
but on the other hand, the opera ghost has a weakness: he has a massive crush on his favorite soprano and will definitely show up if you cast her.
so you agree to put on his stupid opera in the hopes of finally capturing this guy, except while the lead female role is perfectly catered to the talents of his crush, he doesn’t seem to have taken into account the talents of your male lead at ALL, the notes are out of his range and the choreography seems to account for someone smaller. weird, given his usual attention to detail, but fine, whatever, you’ll make it work. you fill the entire theater with armed guards -- nothing to see here folks just an ordinary night at the opera -- and start the show. everything’s going fine, you get to the ONE decent song in this thing, the sexy duet between the leads except, huh, that’s weird, your lead actor doesn’t quite sound like himself and the girl seems really nervous about something and oh fuck okay she pulled off his mask and that is NOT your lead actor, that is the opera ghost, here trying to get laid on your very own stage, and now he’s going off-script and proclaiming his undying love (how unprofessional) and FUCK FUCK WHAT IS SHE DOING DID SHE JUST PULL OFF HIS MASK, CHRISTINE THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN, WAIT WHERE IS HE TAKING HER AND OH FUCK THAT’S A CORPSE and like you don’t know what you were expecting, maybe you just kind of hoped he was locked in his dressing room, but fuck, if you had a nickel for every time someone died onstage due to one guy’s inability to express a crush properly you’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice, right? and you know you should be worried about how christine is doing but honestly? raoul seems like he’s got it covered and now you’re just kind of worrying about all the tickets you’re gonna have to refund...
