Hilarity Ensues @anarrayofnonsense - Tumblr Blog

finnslay

things you DO NOT need to be a man

a dick

he/him pronouns

XY chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

the swiftness of a coursing river

the force of a great typhoon

the strength of a raging fire

the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon

^this post was brought to you by LGBT^

Let's

Get down to

Business

To defeat the huns

nwmo

NEW FISH JUST DROPPED

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024

I KNOW that playing God is morally wrong, but holy HELL, it looks fun.

ninjakittenarmy

Why is it playing God? We aren’t violating any natural laws. God set the parameters of the universe to allow these things. There’s nothing wrong with it, there’s no hubris in learning more about how to manipulate the universe around us.

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024

We made a whole-ass fish.

ospreyonthemoon

The reason this was accidental BTW is because they used paddlefish eggs as a negative control group for a breeding experiment on sturgeons because the scientists, quite naturally, assumed that they were SO unrelated it would be genetically impossible for them to mate. Like. I cannot stress enough to you how these creatures last related ancestors were

140 MILLION YEARS BACK.

If you don't know how far that is, that's basically the start of the cretaceous. Let me simplify that for you even further. Chimpanzees and humans seperated, what, 5 or 6 million years ago?

This is basically like if humans could hybridise with THESE THINGS.

This is the sort of thing that should be impossible. They used those eggs to be ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.

And then THEY GOT FISH OUT OF IT.

Like. You can quite clearly understand why they didn't think anything would happen. WE ARE MORE RELATED TO BLUE WHALES THAN THESE THINGS.

THE AMERICAN PADDLEFISH AND THE STURGEON ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRELATED THAT THIS IS NOT PLAYING GOD. IF ANYTHING THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD.

THE SCIENTISTS HAD NO BLAME IN THIS BECAUSE NOTHING LIKE THIS HAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE

It sort of goes against the rules of genetics a bit.

ospreyonthemoon

Oh i forgot to add

THESE THINGS, FOR HYBRIDS, HAD A REALLY HIGH SURVIVAL RATING. LIKE 70% OF THEM SURVIVED.

To put that into perspective, getting a blue whale and a squirrel and trying to hybridise them is more sensible, and that wouldn't produce anything but getting you banned from science. Most animals that aren't plants can barely hybridise two degrees away from each other.

BUT THESE TWO ENTIRELY UNRELATED FISH create PERFECTLY HEALTHY HYBRIDS.

the scientists literally had to do the tests AGAIN just to be like "okay this is real right. This is actually like, not a fluke, this works right" and it worked again. They just Can!

jackofacetrades

So for those who don't know what the original fishes look like, this is an American Paddlefish:

And this is a Russian Sturgeon:

So honestly, saying the hybrid is "weird looking" is a bit fort de café when you see its parents. I think the sturddlefish looks cute.

marlinspirkhall

"these creatures last related ancestors were 140 million years back"

(glances at fish)

Yeah that's exactly what I thought you'd look like, you Mesozoic fuck

thriceandonce

#Holding a red squirrel in my left hand and a blue whale in my right desperately hoping to make a purple squale (via @dykepuffs)

kedreeva

placental mammals (eutheria) diverged from marsupials around 100 million years ago. whales and squirrels (rodents at least), being both placental animals, would have diverged at or after that time, meaning sturgeon and paddlefish still have 40 million years more separation.

before the sturddlefish, a purple squale would have seemed more likely- and since that's ridiculous and obviously no one would think that's possible except as a joke, that should speak to HOW impossible this situation seemed, and why they thought obviously this will be perfectly fine. If you took squirrel eggs (the gamete) and tried to use whale sperm to fertilize them, you could reasonably expect that to not work. That should be a good control. The eggs would definitely not actually be fertilized, and even if sperm somehow made it into the egg and some kind of development started, you would expect them to not make it to term and definitely not make a whole ass new animal that's perfectly fine actually.

And yet there is a purple squale in your fish tank, in fact there's like 100 of them and everyone is saying you played god but this was not what should have gone down, this was never the plan. This isn't you playing god, you think, this is god having a laugh at your expense.

kermitlesbian

*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

kermitlesbian

oneheadtoanother

is that like a wet willy?

kaijuno

This is so wholesome

cipheramnesia

Has anyone drawn this as a merman yet?

cuddlyclover

Tried my best

arnabfactory

Fascinated by this phenomenon

themagicpotatoes

langernameohnebedeutung

"childlike sense of wonder" this and that. Personally, I'm cultivating my elderly sense of wonder. Hence my excitement over a perfectly ordinary bird in my backyard or an above-average-sized vegetable.

vampire-eros

^ i bought binoculars at the thrift store to bird watch and it has brought me significant joy

chessb0r3d

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

everwalldigan-deactivated202602

“I work alone” says Batman with 50 different teenage and ex teenage vigilantes shoved up his cape

hools

no yeah i cant hang out sorry. yeah im hugging my pillow in bed today. yeah no itll be for a while. maybe for forever. OK bye

twixnmix

Jean-Michel Basquiat painting at the Factory, 1984.

Photos by Andy Warhol

bakwaaas

despite everything …. I’m grateful I got a chance to be alive… to experience love and good food and sunsets. isn’t that the point of it all really

judes-dump

If Justin McElroy a 40 year old cis white man from West Virginia can casually come up with the sentence "boys of all genders" then i think there is hope for us all in this transgender world.....