Some of you know about this because we have discussed it in person, and others of you have probably assumed this was the case, but I thought it was time to publicly and explicitly discuss what’s going on with me regarding THE FUTURE when it comes to career options, particularly the dreaded tenure track. This’ll be long, I guess. Read at your own risk.
Simply and shortly, it has been three years and I have applied for nearly one hundred positions in areas such as media studies, visual studies, American studies, cultural studies, contemporary American literature, comparative literature, and, of course, the few comic studies positions that have come up. I have applied across the country and internationally. I received one request for more information. I have never been invited to even one first round interview.
I was the interim head of a program since graduation. In my graduate years, I organized events, including a pedagogy conference. I am a member of a board of a conference in my field. I have letters from three luminaries in my field, two from outside my institution. I have an impeccable teaching record. I have a publication; and in my last round, I had two publications under review. I have multiple conference appearances. I have a strong service record in and outside academia. I had peers and colleagues look over my materials at multiple stages. I admit I did not pay Karen Kelsky hundreds of dollars to look at them.
I admit that I have not applied for every available position. Shaun and I decided long ago that our quality of life meant we would not be willing to live just anywhere. I have not applied for any and every visiting position (though I have applied for many). I did not apply for every adjunct position. I have a hard time, at my age, imagining moving across the country every year for a one-year position only having to start over and do it all again.
I admit that I could be publishing more. I know this, but my focus has always been on teaching and working with my peers in the field, and I think my record reflects this. Unfortunately, in the era of metrics publications are all that matters. I had hoped the excellence in other areas could overcome this, and that the presence of publications and promise of more (there are more on the way, still!) would work. It did not.
So it came to this: I knew the market was affecting my mental health (and thus my physical health) in seriously negative ways. I was spiraling. I felt like I was doing everything right, but getting nowhere. I would see people who I thought I was as good as getting positions, and I didn’t understand it. I was questioning my worth not just as a scholar, but as a human. I have, since I started grad school, fiercely protected my moments of humanity. I have a husband. I get to spend time with him. I get to sleep. I get to be a person. No job should take that away, no matter how much I love it. (I mean, obviously there are crunch times, but, you know what I’m saying). So I realized that I had to step away.
I realized that I could still find ways to teach outside of the tenure track. It would be hard and different, but I could do it. That’s one reason I’ve started my YouTube channel. Not everyone gets access to Comics Studies 101 in college. Maybe they can online! I’m also hoping to find ways to work with teachers at all levels who hope to teach comics, to help them teach comics better. I know there’s a demand for this in a lot of middle and high school classrooms. I know, based on my experience at conventions, people outside the college classroom want to discuss comics and fandom in serious ways. Helping out with Miss Anthology has been one of the most enriching experiences of the past few years. I look forward to finding ways more to do this kind of work.
I have also, in some of my alternative positions, remembered my wealth of other skills. I am very good at administrative and organizational tasks. I am LOVING my current work as an associate curator on the Marvel Show opening soon at MoPop. I would love to continue exploring this, for sure!
For that last three years, I have been stringing together one-term or one-year gigs with the hope it might lead to something permanent. Now, I know it won’t. I can work temporary teaching gigs knowing it is on my terms. There are problems with the “gig economy” – a lot of them – but I am happier knowing that I am working in an uncertain world -on my terms- rather than chasing some imagined carrot that may never materialize.
We also really like it here in the PNW. And for someone wanting to be involved in the comics world, it’s the place to be. I like working with creators and creatives, with people working directly in publishing (maybe someday I’ll get involved in that, too). I hope to continue to teach in the classroom, too—there are, after all, two comics programs right nearby and I’m qualified…no other area in the nation can say that! I’m happy to pick up classes (I’ll be doing one this summer for UO, in fact). I’m not giving up on teaching, just on tenure-track academia.
Anyway, that’s where I’m at!
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