Book-wyrm @androidethics - Tumblr Blog

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elderscrollsconceptart

Average "Lusty Argonian Maid" book plot

manake511

"Polishing this wood shall take me hours 🥺"

"Plenty of time, my sweet, plenty of time~"

draconym

I saw the most incredible dog at the farmer's market.

Please everyone guess what this dog's pedigree is. (My guess was incorrect)

draconym

This was my guess as well. It is something else.

draconym

Congratulations to you!

This is a Dachshund / Samoyed

draconym

Yes it was an accidental litter

teaboot

one or both of these dogs is a monsterfucker

thydungeongal

As someone who has actually studied the English language there's a common phrase about English that kinda annoys me because while it makes for a funny haha line it's such a gross oversimplification that it actually ceases to be funny. It's the one that goes "The English language is just three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat" or something to that effect.

I'm not going to go into detail as to why that sentence is inaccurate, just take my word for it as a person with a master's in English. I suggest we withdraw this expression from usage and replace it with the much more accurate "The English language is a dirty little slut that loves it when other languages cum big loads in it"

rox-and-prose

things this commenter believes:

being a slut is bad (wrong)

only women can be sluts (wrong, thank god)

most confusingly, that the English language is a human person who exists in corporeal form, sucking every dick in sight (wrong, but god I wish)

greykolla-art

Yeah I think you’re in the right place, Al.

fang-fatale

artofelanor

Have you seen the new movie? It's on library. It's literally on the library. It's on library without ads. It's literally on your local public library. You can probably ask for it on your library. Dude it's on your library. It's in the original case too. It's on library. You can watch it at the library. You can go to your local library and watch it. Register onto your local library right now. Go to your library. Dive into your library. You can watch it. It's on there. Your library has it for you. Your library has it for you.

mossdftba

It's at your library with special features!

messrsage

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

burr-ell

a-bowl-of-soup

"i asked chat gpt-"

well I asked the Glow Cloud (all hail) and it emitted a low whistleing and dropped a lizard on my head.

cugzarui

🎵🎶its raining lizards🎶🎵

so-i-did-this-thing

you reblogged a post and tagged it gnu terry pratchett,,, what does gnu mean????

In his Discworld book, Going Postal, the late Terry Pratchett introduced a telegraph/internet hybrid called "the clacks".

It could be a dangerous job, and when a worker died in service, his name was passed around in memorium by other clacks workers with "GNU" at the beginning, which was clacks instructions to circulate it, despite not being any sort of "official" message.

"A man is not dead while his name is still spoken," is a quote from Going Postal, and it is a message the fandom has taken to heart, using Terry's own in-universe jargon in post notes (it also can be found in Discworld-related email and website headers).

In other words, this is how fans continue to love and honor a man who was very important to us.

rare-vos-in-socks

Always reblog Sir Terry Pratchett.

rosered2018

Amen, my sibling.

largishcat

so are all the christians gone yet or is this going to be an afternoon rapture

mayorofnowhere

it happened but the only true christian on earth was a green-breasted hummingbird. he will be dearly missed by his friends and family who assumed he was eaten by an outdoor cat, but other than that, life remains unchanged

bobzillashiftwoods

cynicalclassicist

Listen to these writers.

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

this is from a "manipulation advice" video and it's just so fucking funny to me. why didn't I think of responding to insults like this

magnoliabloomfield

I can’t remember where I got the information now, but apparently if you stare silently for at least 4 seconds it triggers a feeling of rejection which I don’t have to tell you is uncomfortable and makes most people backpedal pretty quickly and awkwardly.

eldritch-bisexual

Immediately going concerned/extremely polite always throws people off their game, it's beautiful.

The Quiet Stare Of Disappointment is also super effective, indeed .

live-long-and-suck-it

My sister and I were walking across a car park.

Random bloke: Maybe if you walked more you wouldn’t be so fat

My sister stops dead, stares him in the eye and goes: Is everything alright at home?

I’ve never seen a man’s face turn to horror so fast

We just walked to her car and drove off

icemankazansky

The silent stare is so effective. I learned about it in social psychology in undergrad, and have often used it to great effect. Probably the best example is when I went to sign the papers on the car I was buying—I had already worked out a price and my trade-in with the salesmen the day before—and they decided they were going to take $1000 off the value of my trade-in. (I want to emphasize that I was buying a 10+ year old car; I ended up paying $8k total.)

"No," I said. "That doesn't work for me. If you're unwilling to honor the deal we made, I'm not buying a car from you."

Well, they talk for a living. So they talked. Here I am, a young woman on my own, and these two men at the dealership are giving me all the reasons they couldn't possibly honor the deal we made yesterday.

So I sat. I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.

They kept talking, trying to get a reaction out of me. After about 10 seconds, they abandoned all pretense of logical arguments and started hammering pathos. They weren't even buying my old car from me for the dealership; it was a personal favor for which they were using their own hard-earned money to help this poor guy at church who just got out of rehab and his house burned down and his children exploded and his dog left him for another man, etc etc

I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.

They began falling apart. They continued trying to hustle me, but their confidence left them. I think they might have been sweating.

Within five minutes they caved and signed the papers for our original deal.

finnglas

I have been told for years I am intimidating, and by people who had never even seen me angry. Just in general, intimidating. This absolutely baffled me until a friend one day pointed at me and said — “This! Right now! You’re being intimidating!”

Friends, I was staring silently at someone while inwardly flailing desperately to come up with a response to something they’d said that wasn’t overly rude but also was holding my ground. In my mind, I was being hellishly awkward. I couldn’t summon any charm, I couldn’t figure out a sentence to string together. Silence spooled out horrifyingly between us as I got farther and farther away from being articulate and became more and more flustered by this failure to respond. From the outside, I guess, I just looked like a stone cold bitch waiting for them to get their shit together, lol.

I still don’t think I’m intimidating but you know I’ll take it.

phantomrose96

You are a fan of internationally-acclaimed K-pop group Huntrix. They drop a new single to wild success and its debut performance is canceled without clear explanation. Huntrix's management says something about a medical condition with the lead singer.

At the same time a new boyband debuts with a song that tops all the charts. The boyband doesn't seem to have a management company. Or names. Maybe that doesn't matter because their sound IS catchy. Huntrix is completely out of the public eye except for two appearances alongside this new boyband where they are there exclusively to beef. It's maybe a PR stunt. It's maybe because Rumi is exes with one of the only two named members of the Saja Boys.

People start going missing at a rate 4x the national average. You probably wouldn't even know about this except that 3 of the missing people were big names on Stan Twitter so it's kind of a big deal. There are four different high-traction posts claiming all the recent missing people were Saja Boy fans. But that's like claiming all the recent missing people drank water and breathed air.

Rumi is still on medical leave but Huntrix management is saying Huntrix WILL be at the K-pop Awards. Someone on Twitter's uncle's friend works in a recording studio and he says Huntrix is debuting a song which tells the Saja Boys to die. The exes theory gets a lot of traction. Twitter tries to doxx Jinu to confirm the theory but no one can figure out who he is. Twitter tries to doxx the other Saja Boys to the same lack of success. One account said she had "a lead" but her Twitter has been silent for 72 hours since.

Rumi is back from medical leave for the K-pop Awards just in time to have a massive falling-out and break-up on stage. This probably devastated you but you don't really remember it. The Saja Boys invite everyone to a concert. A lot of people who went don't remember going, and you'd call that suspicious except you also went and don't remember going.

Somehow no one in the crowd of 10,000 thought to record the concert on their phone. Maybe there was a "no phones" rule but usually there are still leaks. No one has any video or photo evidence of this concert happening. However you all collectively remember hearing "What It Sounds Like" at the concert (before it debuted 4 days later from Huntrix's label.) This does not make a lot of sense because this was a Saja Boys concert, supposedly. Someone says they saw Zoey impale at least one of the Saja Boys. You would brush this off as a stupid rumor but 2-dozen other people are saying the same thing and you a little bit remember it too.

There's a lot of people saying "Let's wait for an official statement from the Saja Boys" on Twitter but they've been saying that for 2 weeks now and no one has seen or heard from them since the concert. There's a lot of people saying "Zoey killed them fr" which was a joke at first and now, is not not a joke, but it hits a little different.

Most of you are kinda over SB Twitter at this point so you kind of don't care anymore but there are a few remaining fans who've doubled down on the doxxing effort to figure out if they're okay. It's not going well. One person claims to have found Jinu's identity but everyone thinks she's stupid because that guy died literally 400 years ago. YES the royal court's painting of him looks identical and yes that guy was a singer too, but come on, the K-pop look is 90% make-up anyway.

george-writes-and-draws

This is the wildest way to introduce yourself to a movie you haven’t seen yet. More films should be summarized by characters who were extras.

youngerfrankenstein

Doofenshmirtz is kind of proof that you can, in fact, make one of the funniest characters out there by throwing shit at the wall.

He’s a supervillain, he’s amicably divorced, he was raised by ocelots, his evil ambitions only stretch as far as taking over the tri-state area, he’s in a romantically-coded/joked about rivalry with a sentient platypus, he’s a good dad, he once lost a fight with a potted plant, he was forced to be a lawn gnome. But most importantly, he never gives up.

youngerfrankenstein

Some additions from the notes (I love reading the notes on this):